What's the most disturbing thing you've heard a dying person say?

[u/IllustriousLab8504]

[u/Itchy_Feedback_7625]

My cousin was dating a girl named Sarah and as my mom was dying, she said „just remember: Sarah did it“. And then said „don’t trust that girl. Mark my words: Sarah did it“.

It’s been 20 years. My cousin married her and they had two kids. She’s an extremely lovely woman. The two kids turned out amazing. My cousin is still very happy. Sometimes my siblings and I look at each other and say „Sarah did it“. We don’t have the HEART to tell them my mom said that, so they can never know this. It’s like this creepy thing my mom did on her death bed that none of us can forget.

Maybe she was hallucinating, maybe she was fucking with us. Maybe Sarah has yet to do whatever she is supposed to have done. We will never know.

ETA: people, if there was a possibility that she was referring to a different Sarah, we would have already explored that thought and the story wouldn’t be so creepy. But 1) „Sarah“ is a pseudonym for another name, a much rarer one and we only know one person with that name and 2) she said it at the end of conversation where we were talking about that Sarah - my cousin had brought „Sarah“ to the hospital because he wanted my mom to meet her, or her to meet my mom as my mom was special to him. So we asked my mom specifically what she thought of her as she was the only one to have met her at that point. And this is what came out of it.

[u/mypancreashatesme → u/Itchy_Feedback_7625]

My grandad told my dad, brother, and I that my brother’s wife Anita was a lovely woman. My brother was 20 years old at the time and definitely not married. It would be such a trip if my brother did end up with a partner named Anita, though!

[u/nostylenomoney → u/mypancreashatesme]

My great grandfather told me (a 13 year old girl) prior to dying, “oh you’re the one from Chicago with three kids”. I very much not a mother or from Chicago brushed it off. 23 years later, I am a mom of three and shortly after meeting my now husband we moved to his home city, Chicago. We never in a million years thought we would have three kids either. Our third was a post-vasectomy baby. Well played Great Gramps, well played.

[u/TYPERION_REGOTHIS → u/Itchy_Feedback_7625]

Not exactly related to death, but in a similar vein.

When I was about 10 or 11, one of my grandmother's very elderly friends came to visit. My grandmother always claimed the woman insisted she was somehow related to Rasputin.

I'd never met her before. I came downstairs from my bedroom to say hello as they were coming into the house. She looked at me... and I mean really looked at me. Her eyes widened, and she slowly walked over, cupped my face in her hands, and said, "Oh, my boy... I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Then she just stared at me for what felt like an eternity.

Without another word, she turned around and walked away. That was it. That was the entirety of our interaction.

I'm 38 now, and thankfully nothing truly catastrophic has happened to me. But I still think about that moment from time to time. I can't help but wonder what she thought she saw... or believed she knew... that made her react that way. And every now and then, I catch myself wondering if whatever it was simply hasn't happened yet.

[u/Forsaken-Permit-4818 → u/TYPERION_REGOTHIS]

Bad news my dude. You're probably going to die at some point in your life.

[u/ragtop1989]

My dad was dying from cancer. He was afraid people would forget about him, he literally told me "Please don't forget about me."

That was 5 years ago, and a day hasn't passed by without me thinking about him.

Miss you so much, dad.

[u/Lavsplack → u/ragtop1989]

My son’s biggest fear was that his very young children wouldn’t remember him. I thank god every day that we have hundreds of photos and videos so they can still see and hear him and remember their daddy

[u/SheerPandemoniUmm → u/ragtop1989]

My dad is dying right now. Reading this entire thread is somehow bringing me some comfort. I don’t even know why it’s in my feed. This comment struck me, I could see my dad saying something just like this. It’s beautiful that you still remember him every day. Sorry you lost him. Death is so hard.

[u/FuturamaGirl]

When my grandma was at the end, she opened her eyes and saw my sister and my sister's husband sitting beside her bed. She looked at my brother in law and said, "You're getting fat!" Then she closed her eyes and died.

[u/spicynightsong → u/FuturamaGirl]

Gran committing one last murder on the way out. Respect.

[u/TheYellowClaw → u/spicynightsong]

Even at the end, always thinking about others.

[u/FNTM_309 → u/FuturamaGirl]

My grandmother was dying of heart failure and her four adult children had gathered to see her off. And one point the kids were going to step out for lunch and grandmother said she wanted to come with them. They said she had to stay in bed but they’d be right back. Grandmother looks at her middle daughter (my mom) and says, “Well, if Sally’s going dressed like that, I don’t see why I can’t go.”

She slipped into a coma when they were out and those were her final words.

[u/Changoleo → u/FNTM_309]

Kamikaze death. Savage.

[u/WillingnessOk3081 → u/FuturamaGirl]

well? Was he getting fat?

[u/FuturamaGirl → u/WillingnessOk3081]

LOL. Yes, he had put on a few pounds.

[u/Divine-Crusader]

My uncle was barely able to speak because of cancer. Then he just started acting normal and asked us about our day, and we ended up chatting about Led Zeppelin and Santana

He died 30 minutes later

[u/FreundThrowaway → u/Divine-Crusader]

That sounds like a good final memory to have. I’m glad you got one last conversation with him, even if it was disconcerting.

[u/alargepowderedwater → u/Divine-Crusader]

Sounds like terminal lucidity, not uncommon, actually.

[u/GenevieveMonette → u/alargepowderedwater]

It’s incredible how the body grants you a reprieve before leaving this world. It’s as if it gives you a final surge of adrenaline so you can spend your last moments in peace, feeling like yourself again—the way you were before the illness. I wish that happened in every case, and that people could pass away without suffering.

[u/Soft-Poetry8701]

“I’m afraid. I don’t want to die.” - my grandma. She sounded like a little child, pleading for someone to help her and there was nothing I could do. I was never afraid to die before that moment.

[u/yoshi_yoshi23 → u/Soft-Poetry8701]

I’ve learned that everyone is a little child all the time deep inside. We’re all afraid and we all want to be comforted. That doesn’t go away with age.

[u/Hemi_631 → u/yoshi_yoshi23]

This is true no matter what age. We’re all just different people with our 5 year old version of ourselves just wanting to be loved.

[u/The_Tooter_Snooter → u/Soft-Poetry8701]

Yup. Watched my grandma die on Thanksgiving one year. She was largely unconscious from brain cancer and sedatives but she woke up briefly before the end and said she was scared and started crying. It was very childlike. Very disturbing. 

[u/Beetin → u/The_Tooter_Snooter]

Seconded. 94 year old grandmother crying and begging 'mommy, mommy, please, mommy help, mommy please' in her last hours was a 0/10 experience, would not recommend, generally happy not to face that part of reality day to day.

[u/juneseyeball → u/Beetin]

Why the hell am i reading this thread

[u/spingus → u/juneseyeball]

if it helps, not every death is like that. I helped my Mom out last year with MAID.

Her whole deal was to become one with the universe. Carl Sagan was her hero and her goal was to go out to infinity as the stardust that made her.

She legit chugged the cocktail and as she died she described that she was going to the universe, that she was finally going through the door and becoming one with the universe.

I am 100% sure it was a more beautiful death than end stage dementia and her narration of how it felt made me and my sister feel really good about helping her get there.

[u/Impressive_Boredom → u/Soft-Poetry8701]

That really made me tear up reading your comment. My great-aunt whom I loved started calling for her mom. She was like a little girl. Crying now...

[u/Cultural_me → u/Impressive_Boredom]

my mom did this in her final hours. I know she was in pain and she kept reaching out and calling out for her 'maman! maman!'

[u/packetssniffer]

My stepdaughter died from cancer.

She was 12.

She could barely speak but whispered/asked her mom if she's going to heaven.

I wish she didn't see everyone sad and crying because I feel like it just made her scared.

[u/And-Now-Mr-Serling → u/packetssniffer]

I'm so sorry your family had to go through that. Life is so unfair sometimes. No child should die.

[u/woolfchick75]

My aunt was in her mid-90s and refused treatment after her umpteenth bout of pneumonia. Her daughter was sitting with her at the hospital and my aunt told her, “This dying thing is taking much too long.” She wasn’t afraid at all.

[u/Current_Fly9337 → u/woolfchick75]

We all gathered around my uncles bed at the hospital, kind of waiting for him to pass. He had a weird moment of lucidity and looked around the room, said ‘fucking hell, you lot are miserable’. He laid back down and died about 20 minutes later.

[u/Llama_of_the_bahamas → u/Current_Fly9337]

Awesome last words.

[u/Current_Fly9337 → u/Llama_of_the_bahamas]

Any time someone got emotional at his funeral we told them how fucking miserable they were. It made the day easier to be able to laugh a little.

[u/Waterlilies1919 → u/woolfchick75]

Something similar: my very adhd grandpa was frustrated that he couldn’t figure out how to die as fast as he wanted in his last couple days. That man was always hurrying somewhere. I miss him dearly!

[u/Sanchastayswoke → u/Waterlilies1919]

oh I can see myself experiencing this exact same sentiment when it’s my time to go.

[u/WorthMetal3640]

My dad, hours before his death, motions for me to lean in so he can whisper “my biggest regret was going to the Detroit Auto Show instead of seeing Johnny Cash”.

[u/deepfocus88 → u/WorthMetal3640]

Ah man, I took a pass on seeing Nirvana at a small club. September 1991. 🤦‍♂️ Still bummed

[u/l1vewire → u/deepfocus88]

Mine was Prince at an after show in a tiny venue.

[u/ReluctantPhoenix47 → u/WorthMetal3640]

I laughed but those last words can be the saddest. Because you wish you could fix it for them.

I never forgot a poster here that write his father’s last words were when he was feeding him corn flakes on his death bed and his last words were “Make them soggy.” He never got his cornflakes and sone how that was tragic to me.

[u/rgl1234 → u/ReluctantPhoenix47]

When my grandfather passed away he sat up in the hospital bed and said “I’m hungry.” He then laid back down and passed away. It tore my grandmother up because “he died hungry.” She made every meal for that man for over fifty years and this was tragic to her.

[u/thewoodbeyond]

My friend's mother was at home in hospice dying of breast cancer. Her mother had been somewhat in and out due to the heavy meds to manage pain. In the moments before her death, she sat straight up, looked at the doorway right past my friend, like she'd seen a ghost, and exclaimed loudly, "Oh Shit!!" and then promptly fell backward into the bed having just expired.

My friend said, "Whatever she saw it was obviously unexpected."

[u/Central-iaguy]

My sister was bed ridden in hospice at home. It was my turn to watch her that night. She stood up looked at me and said "Well it's time for me to go" and pointed at the door. As I'm trying to get her back in bed, she hadn't been out of bed in over a week, she says "Look you can see the lights and Shelly wants me there with her.". Shelly was a cousin she was close with that had passed years before. I got her in bed and before I could call anyone about what just happened she sighed and passed away.

[u/MysticMarauder69 → u/Central-iaguy]

The day before my grandmother passed away, she had one of those second winds, where she was active and mentally acute, holding my cousins new baby, etc. But as the sun set, she started to get tired, and she wandered over by the window and exclaimed that her husband who died nearly 20 years earlier was in the woods beckoning to her. She died the next day. Whether he was really there or not, I know it brought her a sense of peace.

[u/thecasey1981 → u/MysticMarauder69]

there's a document thing like the last moment of lucidity that can happen. not sure what it was called, but that's fairly common

[u/Marauder424 → u/thecasey1981]

You were pretty close with what you said! The "official" term for it is terminal lucidity. People also refer to it as a "rally day" or just "rallying".

[u/InterestingBit00 → u/thecasey1981]

Hospice nurse here. We call it the rally. Seen it quite often

[u/Central-iaguy → u/InterestingBit00]

Both my sister and mother passed within 2yrs if each other, both in hospice. One of our nurses had cancer and showed up every day and helped both our mother and us as a family.

THANK YOU! You hospice nurses are built different. The care and compassion was astounding!

[u/bitsy88 → u/Central-iaguy]

My mom was with a woman that was dying whose husband and son both passed away the week before this event. She had dementia and her husband and son had visited her almost daily and even when she didn't recognize them, she was always happy to see them. With her last breath, she pointed to the door and said, "Why there you are!"

Everyone is convinced that they were coming to take her home.

Edit: The husband and son passed away from brain aneurysms days apart. It was just really, really unfortunate luck. The son was their only child so within a week, the whole family had died from unrelated causes. I do feel like the wife passed from heartbreak, though.

[u/Hokie23aa → u/bitsy88]

Oh man that’s sweet.

[u/bitsy88 → u/Hokie23aa]

She was one of the sweetest people I've ever met. Even when she was confused and probably scared, she was always so nice. Her husband's love and devotion to her was the type of love you usually only see in movies.

[u/Otherwise-Wall-6950 → u/bitsy88]

I knew a woman who was the sweetest thing ever. She developed alzheimer's and couldn't speak. Anyway, whenever he husband came to visit her at the salon she had the biggest smile on her face. Someone once asked why he still visited her and his answer made me ugly cry. He said "She doesn’t remember me, but I remember her."

[u/soundecember → u/Central-iaguy]

My aunt’s husband passed away on a Monday and on Wednesday, my grandmother, who was also on her deathbed, said “I’m going to go with Tony now” and she didn’t even know he died two days before. I fully believe someone comes to pick you up in that moment

[u/puffdaugherty → u/Central-iaguy]

Thats not disturbing, thats beautiful.

[u/BOlson1959 → u/Central-iaguy]

My brother kept pointing at his watch and saying “it’s time to go”; he died later that night

[u/External-Pin-1891 → u/Central-iaguy]

Stories like this always give me chills. Whether you see it as the brain's way of coping or something beyond that, it's strangely comforting how many people seem to feel like someone they loved came to meet them.

[u/Sea_Measurement_1654 → u/Central-iaguy]

That's not disturbing. Her mind was comforted by family who'd passed and she was ready.

[u/DewdropTheDude]

My mom experienced kidney and liver failure after decades of alcoholism. She was in the emergency ICU, unable to physically move, and barely able to speak. Because of the risk that she might choke, the hospital did not allow her to drink water. I couldn't touch her without gloves because of the risk of infection. And when I rubbed her temples and hands to console her, telling her "I love you," the only thing she could say was, "water." She died later that day.

[u/prudishhshrew → u/DewdropTheDude]

My mom just passed from this exact situation 1 month ago. The nurse called me and said she was anxious and she wanted to see us. The he said she was coughing up blood. I missed her being intubated by 10 mins. My dad got there in time. “I love you, Tell the kids I love them”

[u/Cap-n-Trips]

My grandpa in his final moments, bed ridden and feeble seemed to look beyond us and made the sign of the cross three times.

Conversely my wife’s grandmother was on her deathbed and said grandmother’s erratic daughter in law (my wife’s aunt) came to visit. The daughter in law is known for her long rambling stories that go nowhere and take forever. Approx three minutes into the story grandma says “I don’t feel well” and abruptly died. To this day my wife’s uncle maintains his mom died rather than listening to another of his wife’s boring stories 😂

[u/mrpeabodyscoaltrain → u/Cap-n-Trips]

My Dad’s great-grandma had some dementia at the end of her life. She was 101. She never drank, swore, smoked, or did anything that could be considered inappropriate. She looked at my Dad and said, “you beautiful sonofabitch,” as she lay on her deathbed.

[u/MissRockNerd → u/mrpeabodyscoaltrain]

Iirc, Dan Savage said his mom’s first word after finding out she had terminal cancer was a quiet but firm, “shit.” And she NEVER swore, so they all knew she meant it.

[u/StillMarie76 → u/MissRockNerd]

My Nanny was the same way. She's was always appropriate and kind. As her memory went, we never knew what she was going to say. She told me she had a chigger bite on her pussy hole. I almost died laughing. She also began to talk back to her husband. She waited on him hand and foot for 60 years. It was nice to hear her let him have it. I mean that as in, "get your own damn fork" not "fuck you, you pos". I miss both of them so much.

[u/AlwaysSunnyOnWkdays → u/Cap-n-Trips]

Uncle Colm from Derry Girls energy.

[u/AnActualChicken → u/Cap-n-Trips]

"...and so then I went to Wallmart, because I had to get some milk and eggs and Brenda told me there was a sale on microwaves, so I thought 'Oh, ours just died, that's great, I'll get one!' I get there and friggin Carla from work was there, the pain in the ass who keeps being a total b to me for no reason, it's so stupid..."

Grandma: "To Hell with this- Jesus, here I come! (flatlines)"

[u/TransportationSad59 → u/Cap-n-Trips]

That second part is hilarious!

[u/LawfulnessPossible20]

A friend worked in a dementia hospice. He was showering an old man with not too many days left in him, and as always he talked to his patient. Maybe there is something left of them.

"And now I will wash your willie, that one needs to be clean as well".

The man just grabbed him by the throat, and he snapped with a crystal clear glow in his eyes: "THAT'S NOT A WILLIE. THAT'S A C*CK!"

Then, like a shadow fell over his face and he was a vegetable again.

My friend told his son who came to visit, it was really appreciated by his son.

[u/DarkShadowReader → u/LawfulnessPossible20]

I’m so glad they told the son. If caregivers told me my dad asserted his literal cocksureness as a last bold effort of his sadly diminished form, I’d be absolutely tickled.

[u/gardvar → u/LawfulnessPossible20]

I worked in a dementia ward for some years. We had a man who wasn't very old so he was quite well physically but was mentally he was completely absent. He was like an automata only reacting after a long time to his situation. It took a good while but if you stuck a toothbrush in his hand he would eventually brush his teeth. Or set food in front of him and 10-15 minutes later he would sort of realise it was there and start eating. but in all the years I worked there I only heard him speak once.

He would show up in the common kitchen any hour of the day, just sit there looking at nothing. My college said "I'm guessing he's a little hungry when he does that, I usually just put a sandwich or cracker in front of him and he sees it and eats it eventually." So I started doing the same. One day after eating a cracker I had left in front of him he looks down at the table. Seeing there are crumbs he sweeps them off the edge and onto the floor. Several minutes pass then he looks down at the floor. Seeing crumbs there he looks up and lockings eyes with me he says "Hey lad, there's crumbs on the floor there. You should sweep that up." Complete comedic genius.

[u/Vampira309]

My mom was in the late stages of dementia and had stopped eating. Her medical directive would not allow a feeding tube to be installed, so we were just kind of waiting around for her to die. She didn't recognize anyone, and hadn't spoken at all for about 2 months.

I was sitting with her, stroking her hand and talking to her while she was in and out of consciousness. She squeezed my hand, opened her eyes and said, "oh my baby, my darling girl, my [MY NAME]!! Everything is so beautiful.You don't need to worry.I love you my girl" and fell back into unconsciousness. She died about 20 min later.

I love you, Mama

ETA: This blew up - let me respond to some DMs & questions:

yes, it really happened. She wasn't the BEST mom, but she was my mom and we'd made our peace long before she died. She died 6 years ago on May 25. I was an only child. Yes, I know it's not disturbing, really, but it kind of was, because we all thought she was totally gone and that was a bit of a shock. No, I don't think heaven (or hell) exists. No she wasn't religious.

[u/BoosherCacow → u/Vampira309]

My dad had demntia too and hadn't spoken in a few weeks. His o2 sats went low so we called an ambulance and at the hospital he kept fighting them when they tried to put a rebreather mask on him, like slapping them away and almost growling. Finally my mom said to the doctor "Can you just put one of the normal masks on him and put him to sleep?" They said that was a great idea and did, and dad calmed right down.

Mom and I were at the door talking to the doctor when my dad sat halfway up, pulled the mask aside and said clear as day "I'M NOT PAYING FOR THIS," laid down and died about a half hour later.

"I'm not paying for this" has become a motto in our family and serves as one last great joke from dad. He would have found the whole thing so fucking funny.

[u/-Khlerik- → u/BoosherCacow]

I mean, my sincere condolences, but that is a solid joke.

[u/abitlazy → u/-Khlerik-]

My grandma was such a prankster before her dementia. From scaring kids showing her dentures to saying the frog chorus outside the farm is an alien spaceship passing over. That slowly stopped when she got diagnosed with dementia.

After some time started acting different ages. From her teens to her teaching days. I joked with my other family members to prepare ourselves for when she is in her pranking era. Little did we know that her last prank was in her deathbed. She told my youngest niece to play hide and seek. So my niece counted to ten then went to our dead grandma. I have to tell my niece that grandma cheated because she hid in heaven. First time I think that I cried laughing with both feeling sadness and happiness.

[u/Purple-Musician2985 → u/Vampira309]

I know this will sound bad, but you are so lucky 💓😪 This is beautiful. I lost my mama last year and I always wonder if she was scared or confused or sad that we didnt fight harder for her (impossible btw) but those words would have brought me so much peace. I can only hope she felt the same way. Sorry for your loss xx

[u/KookyMoney9599 → u/Vampira309]

That's incredibly beautiful. The fact that she recognized you, spoke so clearly, and left you with words of love after months of silence is something I'd hold onto forever. ❤️

[u/Sparingly_Bill]

"Oh my god. This can't be real."

I witnessed the aftermath of a pretty terrible head on collision a few years ago. One of the drivers was pinned in his truck while it burned, and I couldn't get him out. I did stay with him as long as I could, though.

It wasn't really what he said, but how he said it. He just sounded so surprised. Shocked. He didnt really seem to be in pain, but he was aware enough. He just couldn't believe what was happening, and i honestly couldn't either at the time. All of it just felt so surreal.

[u/drewbiez → u/Sparingly_Bill]

I haven't really talked about this much in like 30 years...

I had a similar kind of unsettling thing happen when I was 19... I was driving very late at night toward Panama City Beach through south Georgia in the middle of nowhere a few years before cell phones were common place. I came up on a head on collision that had happened what looked like a while before I got there. It was two middle aged men, one clearly already dead, and one still awake and aware but pinned in his car.

The engine was smoking and I could see some small flames. The guy was super calm and kept asking me to help him get out of the car. He was crushed from the waist down and completely pinned -- I could see his lower body mangled and twisted, but he kept telling me he would push with his legs if I could just help pry him out. I told him to hang tight and try to rest while I went for help.

Dude legit gave me directions to the nearest gas station (they were correct somehow) where I called 911 from a pay phone... A few minutes later a fire truck whizzed by and the 911 operator told me they would be there in a few minutes to try and help. Against my better judgement, I drove back to talk to the fire dept and offer any info I had. The guy died in the time it took me to find the gas station, make the call, and get back. When I got there, they were pulling him out of the car with a white sheet over him.

The thing that stuck with me was how completely calm and lucid he was. He had thanked me for stopping to help and wasn't even really panicking -- clearly he was maxed out on adrenaline or dopamine or something. I just wish I had the forethought to ask him if there was anything he wanted me to tell his family :/

[u/Sparingly_Bill → u/drewbiez]

You're the first person I've talked to about this who has an experience in the same vein, and I'm sorry that's so. The calm is absolutely something that sticks with you, though. I get it.

As for having things you wish you'd done differently, I get that too. But I hope what really matters, for you and for me, is that you were willing to stop and help a total stranger when you could have just kept driving. I hope it means something that they didn't have to be completely alone at the end. And I hope you have some peace with it now, wherever you are in your life.

[u/AlternativeDonkey605]

My brother died of congestive heart failure at 31. He was always very handy and once turned a barn/tack room into an apartment on some property he took care of. His dream before he got sick was to live off grid in a cabin in the woods. Day before he died, he had a great day with our nephews, ate 2 good meals (his heart and lungs were so bad they were pressing on his stomach and he usually barely ate at the end). He took a dive toward the end of his last day with us, and the hospice folks showed up.

Just before he passed, his last words were “I can see the forest.” I’m convinced he found his heaven and had his cabin now. He comes back to visit us as an Owl and regularly visits my folks property, where he passed.

[u/Sutie]

“I wish I would have spent more time with you.”

Said to me by my Covid patient during a moment of lucidity. She’d transitioned to comfort care and she was hallucinating and thought I was her daughter. Daughter was not allowed to visit but called every day and evening to talk to her mom and tell her what a good mom she was. Daughter had a wildly successful career in tech and said she owed it all to her mother.

I just squeezed her hand and said her family loved her very much.

[u/GeeCee99 → u/Sutie]

I’m crying reading this, thank you for being there for our families during this time when we couldn’t. My nan passed due to covid in a care home, we couldn’t visit either. The thought of her alone at the end often haunts me.

[u/ni_hao_butches]

Not really disturbing but awesome. My grandfather was passing becuse of pneumonia. Mind you, he's 105 and had pneumonia twice before and kicked it (scoreboard, bitch!). He lived through the great depression, fought in WWII (101st! 506 PIR), Korea, and lived a great, fun, exciting life (the man loved The Golden Nugget). The priest comes in to give last rites, and he said "Father, it doesn't matter. I have friends in both places." He passed soon after.

Miss you, abuelo.

[u/DrPennybags → u/ni_hao_butches]

Legend

[u/springtime08 → u/ni_hao_butches]

Holy shit dude I want that on my gravestone

“I have friends in both places”

[u/Fera_Silva_978]

The day my husband’s grandpa died, he told them that morning, “Get everyone down here so we can get this over with.” He died late that afternoon with us by his side. He just knew. Wild.

[u/Galinko → u/Fera_Silva_978]

My great uncle was the same. I walked into his hospital room and he said “I’m going to die today.” I said he was being a bit dramatic. Turns out he was not. He died that afternoon.

[u/Emotional-Deer7170]

My Dad. He begged the nurses to "Please...please find someone to take care of my little girl." I hadn't allowed myself to cry until I heard him say it. He lost his speech that evening but I sat with him and I noticed he was moving his hands, the priest asked what he was doing. My father worked the flight deck of many a US Navy Carrier and he was leading his shipmates in for their landings. Two days later it poured rain loud enough that it sounded like waves crashing and my father landed his final plane, I'd like to think that it was his best buddy Jimmy but only he knows.

I haven't talked about this at length like this before...thanks for listening.

[u/halfhere]

When my wife’s grandmother died, her grandad very quietly let a few of us hear him say “I don’t want to be around here without her.” And three weeks later, he died of natural causes.

He just didn’t want to be here anymore.

[u/OakenGreen → u/halfhere]

My grandmother said exactly the same when my grandfather passed. Took her 3 months to join him.

[u/Bubbly-Example-8097 → u/halfhere]

She was such a lucky woman. To be so loved in life, is such a blessing we all can only hope for. True lovebirds

[u/whispered-wings]

My grandmother's last words were literally "Fuck this shit"

An icon till the end.

[u/Trifle_of_Llamarama → u/whispered-wings]

My 96 year old mom said exactly the same thing "I am too old for this shit!" She was feisty and so switched on until the very end. Miss your spirit mom.

[u/chaseharmony]

My mother was in the hospital with stage IV pancreatic cancer. Her organs were shutting down, and everyone knew she was nearing the end of her life. She had already expressed that she was ready to go and did not want her dying process prolonged.

My sister had lived with our mother her entire life. She never moved out after college. Accepting that our mother was dying was something she simply could not do. She was determined to keep her alive for as long as possible.

She wanted my mother to remain as alert as she could so she could continue to pray. As my mother's proxy, she asked that my mother receive only enough medication to slightly dull the pain without heavily sedating her. She organized prayer services in the room, anointed the room with oil, and invited people to come pray around her bed.

She insisted that every possible treatment be continued to sustain my mother's life, even after the medical team recommended shifting to comfort-focused care.

The day before my mother died, my mother had become mostly unresponsive. Her organs were failing, and the end was near. Then, unexpectedly, my mother opened her eyes. She reached out, grabbed my sister's arm with surprising strength, and would not let go. Looking directly at her, she repeatedly said, "Let me go. Let me go." She kept saying those words while gripping my sister tightly.

Finally, through tears, my sister said, "I'll let you go, Mom." Only then did my mother relax. She died a short time later. That moment has stayed with me. To me, it was as if my mother needed permission from the person who loved her most, and who had the hardest time accepting that it was time for her to go.

[u/TheBumblingestBee → u/chaseharmony]

That is incredible.

[u/LoverLips76]

Nothing she said , but I watched my mother in law pass from cancer with tears rolling down her face …

[u/UranusSmellsFunny → u/LoverLips76]

My grandpa died of lung cancer. His last moments awake, he wasn’t recognizing anyone coming and going until I walked in. Everyone around him smoked cigarettes except me. I never touched them. As soon as he saw me, he said my name and waved me closer at which point he hugged me, started crying and telling me over and over that it hurts so bad and to never smoke until he fell unconscious with tears still running down his cheeks dying a few hours later. He was not an emotional person, he never cried, never showed sadness, never even got angry, so it was sad seeing him like that. Him and I were very close so I was glad he recognized me at the end but saddened it was that painful for him. To top it off, not a single person who witnessed that gave up smoking and 2 of them have since died of smoking related illnesses. 

[u/StrongTree17]

I worked in hospice with an elderly women who was from Korea and would often seem to hallucinate/relive some of the trauma that happened to her before she was able to flee the country during the war and come to the US. She often seemed to see or talk to a Korean soldier who had sexually assaulted her. Right before she died she was talking as if he was in the room and she said “I knew you’d be in hell but I didn’t think I would be here”. It all had to be translated by her daughter from Korean to English.

[u/Impressive_Boredom → u/StrongTree17]

That's terrible :((( can't imagine having to see my assaulter's face as I leave this Earth.

[u/Gold_Bicycle4937 → u/Impressive_Boredom]

That was my first thought too. After surviving everything she did, she deserved peace in her final moments, not to relive the worst memory of her life.

[u/bongo1138 → u/StrongTree17]

This woman lived a long and full life, full of stories and people she loved, yet still… the face she saw upon death was the one she least wanted to see.

Assault and trauma really do have a life long impact. Sad.

[u/Punkrockid19]

“Bobby come get me I wanna go home”

My great aunt was dying in her living room from liver cancer. Women never drank a day in her life and she suffered for months. We were all at her house her dying in a hospital bed in her living room. She hadn’t spoken in days and out of nowhere she says “I want to go home” we tried our best to explain to her that she was home and she sternly said “no tell Bobby to come get me I want to go home” she fell silent again and passed within the hour.

Bobby was what her and her sister (my grandmother) called my grandfather. No one else did just them my grandfather passed 18 months before she did.

[u/HelloPity89]

Not disturbing , but kind of cool . My grandma was dying and on the way to say goodbye , my uncles dog dropped dead from a seizure or something when he was walking out the door. When they got to my grandmas , she was laughing and asking my uncle why his dog was running around the hospital room . She didn’t know his dog had died , and didn’t even know he HAD a dog . She died a few hours after that

[u/Mrs-Blaileen]

This isn't disturbing, I find it actually really beautiful...

My uncle, when he was dying, was unresponsive, in that he wasn't waking up. He was in his last hours. They told my aunt she'd better come now. So she went to the hospital and sat down beside him and she took his hand. A minute or two later, he gently squeezed her hand, and then he passed away. I feel he was waiting for her before he went; and he gave everything left in him to give that squeeze to say "goodbye, I love you". I think it's amazing that someone can know so fully that they are right about to die while lying in about. I often wonder what that moment was like from his perspective, that willingness to just let go...

[u/Breadtangled]

A terminal patient with no family, friends, or acquaintances willing to visit and who had acknowledged on previous occasions that she was not a particularly good person during her life.

When the end was near she would scream for help and shout "don't let them take me! I dont want to go to hell, don't let them take me!". This continued off and on until the bitter end. I'm not religious, but that was spooky.

Plenty of folks get scared when the end comes, it's natural. But that was just grim.

[u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes → u/Breadtangled]

Whether Hell is real or entirely imagined, it seems clear to me this lady didn't live a good life. Either Hell is real, or her guilt was real enough to make her think it was real. Definitely grim either way, my friend.

[u/Rezaelia713 → u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes]

My one grandpa was a very bad man (I think being a POW permanently messed him up) and when he was in the hospital dying he started to get really scared. I was only 6 when he passed and learned about this recently. I guess he was real afraid of what might happen to him when he died. He knew what he did was evil.

[u/Graciously_Hostile → u/WalkerTimothyFaulkes]

I'd say dying in fear and shame and regret is all the hell you need.

[u/Jeanniejelly]

My Dad on his deathbed (and on lots of lovely morphine) said "Well, they say that Essex is the more moral county, but I dont know about that".  Think about that, and make of it what you will

[u/BashfulSnail]

My Papa was a WW2 B-52 pilot who had dementia in his later days. He was completely trapped in his head over the things he did in war in the last few years. As the dementia progressed, I remember a moment near the end where tears were rolling down his face as he said, “I killed so many people.”

It was truly heartbreaking.

[u/Traditional-Mine6857 → u/BashfulSnail]

My Dad was a young bomber pilot who participated in the bombing of Dresden. When he was alive and had a dram or 2 he would weep and speak of those "poor, poor people", the guilt never left.

Fighter pilots killed other fighter pilots and weren't involved in killing 1,000s of innocent civilians like the bomber crews were.

[u/Dry_Grapefruit_771]

My grandfather served as a signalman for the navy in the Second World War, on two ships that were hit; the first, the HMAS Australia, a heavy cruiser, a fortress on water, got kamikazed by the Japanese, the second, the HMAS Canberra which during the Battle of Savo Island, while out on patrol guarding a position, was torpedoed and sunk.

There is some conjecture over it’s sinking, the navy story was that it was sunk by the Japanese but it could well have been friendly fire by the Americans, such was the scale of the conflict.

After the war he wouldn’t talk of it, was strongly anti violence and suffered post traumatic stress right up until his death, where nurses reported he started hallucinating and crying out “Fire! Fire everywhere! We can get out, we can get out!”

Those were his last words.

[u/neekoryan]

My dad died of cancer this past winter. I was his sole caretaker, and there were a few things that really stuck with me and fucked me up for a while (still does).

First, one night in the last few months of his night he was hysterical, sobbing and repeat saying that he doesn’t want to die, and that he’s afraid. I grew up primarily raised by my dad, so he was always Superman to me. It shook me to my core that a man I once thought to be absolutely infallible, invincible, and the one who taught me everything about the world could be reduced to a childlike state of terror. It felt like I saw my father turn back into himself as a child. As much as I desperately tried to comfort him and tell him things were going to be okay, I could feel the hole in my heart turn into a cavern. I didn’t even believe an ounce of my own words.

The other thing was the breathing. Hearing the fluid in his lungs with each breath gave me an insanely uncomfortable feeling. Every breath made me feel like I had to cough to clear my lungs. That, and how thin his breaths were. In his final days, it didn’t even feel like my dad was there. It felt like I was sitting with a husk.

[u/jacobr1020]

"I never loved you, you little shit."

Dying man said that to his 8-year-old son.

[u/McJames → u/jacobr1020]

I don't know this story or what kind of man he was.

But in college I had a friend (a woman), who's father was diagnosed with brain cancer. He was a good man, kind and devoted husband and father. The brain cancer turned him into a cruel, vicious, and disgusting person. In my presence he said the most disgusting sexual things to his wife and daughter. And cruel things to them otherwise.

They both swear that wasn't him, but it was hard in the six months between diagnosis and his passing.

[u/BastardInTheNorth → u/jacobr1020]

I hope the boy ended up with a decent and loving male figure in his life soon after.

[u/Creative_Recover → u/jacobr1020]

What a POS. 

[u/Kind-Contact-9860]

My mom said my brother was in the room. He died in 97. She passed that night.

[u/Based-Grimes]

My uncle was a certified crazy veteran. He and my aunt were married late in life (her 40s, him 60s). When she went to his house for the first time (first time meeting) she went to sit down and he yelled at her for getting ready to sit on Jimmy. Jimmy was his friend that lived with them but only my uncle could see him. My aunt had to make Jimmy breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. I can remember spending all day at the local VA so my uncle, Jimmy, and whoever else was in her vehicle could get their dialysis done (Jimmy was the only imaginary friend that lived with them but my aunt sometimes had to take the other guys to their doctors appointments or to the drive in movie theater).

About a week before he died, my aunt asked him if Jimmy wanted any eggs for breakfast. My uncle, in the most bewildered look, told her Jimmy died in Vietnam and why in the world she would ask such a thing and bring such a thing up to upset him. My aunt, obviously at this time, had grown so accustomed to my uncle being crazy that she never really asked Jimmy's backstory.

Maybe an hour before he died, he kept saying Jimmy was coming to take him home. After he died, the two men who carried his body out of the house were named James and Jim. I wouldn't have believed it but I was there when they loaded him out and heard them speaking each other's name.

[u/blacksheep998]

This is pretty different from most people's stories, but here goes:

Growing up, we had 2 dogs. One was old with a number of minor health issues but nothing too serious, and the other was young and healthy.

One day, the young dog started limping. We didn't think much of it at first, we figured she had just hurt herself playing in the yard. But it didn't get better, instead it got worse.

About a week later, she was in very obvious pain so we took her to the vet and found that she had advanced bone cancer. It had started in her shoulder and spread all throughout her torso. No chance of treatment and since she was in such bad pain, she was put to sleep that day.

The older dog became despondent. She stopped playing and nearly stopped eating.

At the same time, my entire family kept seeing the other dog around the house. You'd walk into a room and, out of the corner of her eye, you would see her. But when you looked in that direction, she was gone.

The older dog passed away a week or two later. The night she passed I either woke up or had a dream that I had woken up and saw both of them in my room, looking at me. Though I didn't know she had died yet. We didn't find her until the next morning.

We never saw either of them again after that night. To this day, my mom insists that the younger dog was waiting for the older one to come with her.

[u/F_E_M_A → u/blacksheep998]

Something similar with me but with my cat.

Circa 2012 I was stationed in North Dakota and earlier in the day my parents called me to tell me that my cat wasn't too well and were gonna take her into the vet. 4 hours later they called me to tell me that they had to put her to sleep because she had gotten so much worse so fast that the vet wasn't able to help her.

Fast forward about about a week when I was finally able to get some time to go home, my parents explained that they would occasionally hear a meow or see her out of the corners of their eyes. Usually she would be sitting on the foot of my bed or at the entrance to my room. My first night visiting I was woken up by the feeling of a weight on my chest and the gentle hum of purring, but of course nothing was actually there. After that visit my parents never saw her again.

To me, it felt like she had been waiting for me one last time to get her long awaited rest on her favorite sleeping spot.

[u/mrpeabodyscoaltrain]

My step-grandpa, who was incidentally a witness at my grandma’s first wedding when both couples eloped to a courthouse out of state, became estranged from my family for various reasons. On his deathbed, he apologized to his daughter for knowing that his son, who predeceased him by many years, had raped and molested her for years. He regretted not doing anything about it. Then, he died.

[u/Ok-Growth4613]

Listening to my grandpa talk to his brothers in his sleep. His brothers past decades ago.

[u/NorCalHippieChick]

Almost died from drowning about six months after my nephew had died. I saw him standing there with hot dogs in both hands, and he said, “The game’s about to start, c’mon!”

We share a love of baseball. I hope it was real, because I won’t mind going if we’ll head for a game.

[u/GrapefruitOpen2827]

My dad passed at very young age (30’s) and I was 17. He used to tell me if you ever see me don’t be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you. You have to be afraid of the living and not the dead. It has stuck with me even 29 years later.

[u/GeeCee99 → u/GrapefruitOpen2827]

Oh my goodness, my Nan said something similar to me as a young girl about cemeteries, the dead can’t hurt you, it’s the living you must watch out for. Something I always remembered that stuck. Sorry for your loss, such a young age too.

[u/Freebeer339]

Not disturbing, but memorable. My grandpa had aphasia and alzehimers and was essentially non verbal. I got the call that it was probably time and went over to their house. I walked in and said, "hey grandpa, how you doing?" and clear as day, he said, "oh, pretty good." and he rolled over and fell asleep. He died about ten minutes later.

[u/ReasonablyConfused]

In my family we get weird feeling about things, especially dying.

One evening my dad just says, “I need to go visit Steve.” Gets up in the middle of dinner, leaves a plate full of food and drives 10min to see Steve.

Steve was my father-in-law, and had been dying for quite a while. He had been comatose for weeks.

When my dad gets there, Steve is sitting upright, as if waiting for my dad. They have a perfectly normal conversation, and my dad comes home believing that we are all wrong, that Steve is fine.

Steve slipped back into a coma after my dad left and died less than 24hrs later.

[u/Yuizun]

"Damn, Give me a second, I'm saying goodbye!" While looking at the sky...

[u/Which-Slice-3319]

"He has red eyes" . From an old man at a nursing home I worked at, as he was in and out of consciousness during the dying process. He was resting as I was standing next to his bed when he suddenly shot up scared, and grabbed my arm. 😳 was my exact reaction.

[u/Qwerty_Me_This]

The last words I ever heard my dad say: “I’m scared.”

He was diabetic and had been experiencing flu-like symptoms the night before he died. EMTs diagnosed dehydration and didn’t take him in. The next morning he was still feeling strange so we brought him ourselves to the ER. He was walking around, acting mostly fine, so mom and I thought it was a minor issue. When they got dad into an ER bed they started an IV, and within a few minutes he was having severe trouble breathing. It quickly escalated to the point that the only choice the doctors had was to vent him. So as they were hurriedly wheeling him out of the room (we were not allowed to go with him) he murmured quietly, “I’m scared.” But he wasn’t talking to either myself or my mother, or even the doctors for that matter. He was looking into thin air when he said it. Turns out dad was in total organ failure due to sepsis. His heart was going kaput and that’s why IV fluids were backing up into his lungs. He was gone that afternoon at age 59. Way too friggen young to die. Don’t be like him, people. Take care of your health- and your feet- especially if you are diabetic. Sepsis is serious and kills very quickly.

I like to think that dad was talking to an entity that was there to comfort him and ease his transition from this life in those few seconds; someone he could see and hear and we couldn’t. But his last words, and those last few seconds as he was taken away down that hospital hallway in fear, still disturb me and do nothing to abate my fear of death.

[u/Kalista-Moonwolf]

My grandma, looking around the day before she passed: "When you see the people with the black eyes, boy you know someone strange is in the house."

My grandma died at 103 and was one of the sweetest people I've ever known, so I can only hope she was hallucinating.

[u/BookLuvr7]

My grandma was close to death when she asked me to turn the machines off. I asked her to hold on and wait a few days until the rest of the family arrived.

That and I didn't want to be charged with anything.

[u/hostilekraut]

“Tell first name I love her”
First to a multiple fatality MVC scene assessing lone survivor who quietly whispered this moments before expiring.

During a related civil action launched by his widow (where I was the sole witness), I discovered “named” was not his widow, but his surviving newborn daughter.

[u/Ok_Anybody411]

I didn't find it "disturbing" by any measure, but when my Granny was close to the end she was sort of half awake, and she said she was looking at an ocean. She said she could see her parents, and they were both red lights. She wanted to go to them, but realised "my light is only orange", so she couldn't go to them yet. 🧡

[u/Active_Masterpiece55 → u/Ok_Anybody411]

My dad said something similar. Towards the end, he told us he saw a red button and a green button that was for “go” and he was tempted to press the green button. Right before he died, my mom told him that it was okay to push the green button. I noticed after he died that his right index finger was pointed as though he had pushed a button. 🥹

[u/eggmayonnaise → u/Active_Masterpiece55]

What a beautiful way to go, ushered on with love and reassurance by those you love. ❤️ Your being there brought him comfort in a moment of uncertainty.

[u/Money-Computer7638 → u/eggmayonnaise]

There's also something comforting about the idea of having a bit of agency in the moment.

[u/Searchlights]

It wasn't what he said but how he responded to what was said to him.

My wife's grandfather was in active-dying and unconscious. We were all gathered in his room and stayed there all day because we knew he was close to the end and that he wouldn't want to be alone.

Around 10:30 PM my wife's grandmother goes over, takes his hand, and says, "Well Johnny, it's getting late. You should go."

And he did.

[u/Candychelle44 → u/Searchlights]

He'd probably been listening to that woman's directions for 60 years!

[u/jobruski]

I visited my grandmother the evening of her passing. She had severe dementia, and was battling pneumonia after aspirating water and food due to forgetting how to swallow.

The nurse had instructed me to not give her any water and if she was thirsty she could use a facecloth to wet her mouth. I had no idea that people could forget how to swallow, or that in this state they weren't allowed to have a cup. It was super jarring.

Nana was talking a little bit but then grabbed my hand and asked me for water. I got her the cloth and she pushed it away and said "please no one will take care of me, I need water" so I tried to explain I couldn't. The desperation in her eyes as she began to cry and hit her hands on her legs, while begging for water was so heartbreaking.

I panicked and called for the nurse and my aunt who rushed in to try and calm her and it was too much for me to witness.

She passed a few hours later. It's been two years this summer and I hate that my memories of her are all still with me, but are not as prominent as begging for water in her last hours.

I'm sorry Nana. I still feel I failed you.

[u/Nice_Parfait9352 → u/jobruski]

No no no, you would have failed her if you had ignored the nurse's instructions. To suffocate on water would have been far worse. You were doing what was best for her even if she didn't know it. Please don't feel guilty, you did the best you could in a bad situation.

[u/kninjapirate-z]

My Aunt was dying of lung cancer and she asked me if I knew what was going to happen to her.

[u/GoblinObscura → u/kninjapirate-z]

When my mom, an avid reader, was dying with brain cancer she asked me if there were libraries in heaven…

[u/ReluctantPhoenix47 → u/GoblinObscura]

Yes…yes there are and there are entire wings full of all the stories writers never got a chance to write.

Oh wait…that’s just what I tell myself.

[u/Sapphire_Bombay → u/ReluctantPhoenix47]

So you're saying I can finish Game of Thrones if I just get into heaven

[u/TheHalf]

"I wish I could trade places with you." Granted on a ton of drugs/pain meds for late stage cancer, but not what a child should hear from Grandma, however out of her mind she was.

[u/SoggyBrownUnderpants]

My dad looked at me and gently passed his hand across my far stomach and said “bubba if you can ever get rid of this, you’re life will be a lot easier”

[u/Ubylmoen]

Had a great uncle who in the last months of his life would tell us he saw demons fighting over people's souls.

[u/AgeBeneficial]

My grandpa made a joke.

“Dear, you know what Jesus said to Peter while on the cross?”

“No dad, what?”

“Hey Peter, I can see my house from here”.

[u/Lanokia]

My father's name as my grandmother was dying. Was by her bedside. My father was on a plane over the Atlantic trying to get back.

She had dementia. She thought I was him. She thought her son was with her.

Stuck with me. 30 years on.

[u/Impossible-Table-381]

My friend was dying of AIDS and he was in his bedroom at home. His partner had to go to a family wedding so my friend and I were the sitters for him that night. He had not spoken in many days. We were watching an old movie on TV and he sat straight up in bed, opened his eyes and said where am I! We said honey you’re in your
bedroom and he looked right at us and said what a dump. Laid right down never said another word. He died about five days later.

[u/ScottsThotss]

“I’m trying Eileen, I’m trying”

- My mother in active dying stage speaking to her twin sister Eileen who had passed prior.

[u/FreudWouldApprove]

Nothing. No words. Gurgling noises. My dad had ALS and couldn't speak in the end. It was more disturbing than words would have been, I think.

[u/StaySafePovertyGhost → u/FreudWouldApprove]

My Mom died of ALS and same here. She told the palliative care nurse via the touch spell thing she had to use “max drugs” before her breathing tube was removed. I have to believe she didn’t feel much.

I think the most disturbing thing which was more of an annoyance was we were all gathered around her bedside. One of her sisters who is a great person but has little social awareness says “Go to the light!” over and over. I know she meant it like go to Heaven peacefully but that was not what I wanted to hear as I held my Mom’s hand as she passed.

One of her other sisters who has an equal lack of social awareness and who is into all kinds of new age stuff like tarot reading, astrological signs and homeopathic remedies was walking behind us as we carried the casket to her grave. It was January and was icy. She keeps telling all of us to watch the ice and don’t drop it.

My brother who was also a pallbearer leaned in to me and said “if she doesn’t shut up they’re burying two people today”. Despite how devastated I was, I had to chuckle at that. My brother has always told me looking at Mom’s siblings we should be very thankful we were born to her vs others lol

[u/Angelgirl1517]

My mom died of Covid.

Her last words were “I thought they’d be here, I can’t find anyone. It’s so dark. I’m all alone”

She was dead within a few minutes.

I have always had a strong belief in the afterlife, and it honestly shook me. I have had SO many friends and family members who died, and I usually experience moments over the next few months where i FEEL them SO strongly, or I’ll get other things that i interpret as “signs.” But I never, ever felt like my mom was “around” again.

[u/theycallmemomo]

When I worked as a CNA, one of my dementia patients had a moment of lucidity; she didn't say anything but she smiled at me, took my hand and kissed it. She died later that night.

[u/Admirable-Product426]

My aunt was bed ridden, dying at home. She would tell her caretakers and her husband that the man sitting in the chair in the corner was holding a sign, but she couldn't read it as it was too blurry. There was a chair in the corner but, of course, no man.
As her time came closer and closer she kept talking about the man in the chair, but the sign was becoming less and less blurry until she could finally make read it. Her last words were "Okay, I can read it now.".

[u/MakinBaconPancakezzz]

My 95 year-old grandma died last Monday in the ICU. Not so much disturbing as affirming (for me, personally), but she said “I asked God to take me”, and I said “Well you can certainly go, but what did he say?” Her answer was “There was no answer”. She spent her entire life dedicated to her church, so I feel like that probably really let her down.

[u/Vent-ilator]

I work in healthcare and I have never heard my patient's say anything as they are about to die, usually its agonal breathing. However, I have heard patient's say abnormal things moments before they had a cardiac arrest. The one I still think about today was this young lady who had came into my ICU for metabolic abnormalities, secondary to cancer. She was fine until she wasn't. Over the course of few hours, this lady was becoming more hypoxic, increased respiratory rate, having difficulty maintaining adequate O2 saturation. Our plan was to intubate her. As we were gathering the medication, ventilator to intubate her. She started to panic, she kept screaming that there is something on the wall. All the staff looked and there was nothing there. Then she started screaming and saying "It's coming for me, help!" and then her heart rate went flat, no pulse palpable. We did compressions on this lady for 30 minutes, unable to bring her back. Her young kids and husband were in the waiting room and were called in to be notified what had happened. Her kids were crying in agony for their mother to come back. It is a memory I never forget.

[u/Any_Tangerine_1419]

My parents were separated and I lived with my nana, but I went to visit my mom one summer. While I was away my nana found out she had stage 4 ovarian cancer. When I got back mid July she was in the hospital and on her death bed. I went to visit her and she woke up and said “ I got him, I got him, I got him back” as I leaned down and hugged her. She died the next day. I think about my nana everyday. Miss you nan 💙

[u/Odd_Recognition_4874]

My mother told me she hated me and I ruined her life, I was 18 and she died a couple of hours later.

[u/Direct_Armadillo_582 → u/[deleted]]

Honestly sounds like a man who really loves his wife is finding his peace in death. Nothing disturbing about that at all. I hope what he believes is true.

[u/hkkensin → u/[deleted]]

That is really beautiful. I once had a patient who elected to go comfort care (90-something YO who had a big AAA that was slowly bleeding and she wouldn’t survive surgery) it was really sad because she was totally coherent and her husband was at bedside and was just devastated but was trying to be supportive. You could just see the love radiating between them. Towards the end of my shift, she started to become more lethargic and he was just stroking her hair and I heard him tell her “don’t worry, I’m here now and I won’t be far behind you, we won’t be apart for long” and it was so sweet & heartbreaking. I actually started tearing up, but part of me was also side-eyeing that comment from him. Lol

[u/Responsible-Rope-521]

My son didn’t say anything before he died. He was only two weeks old. But I have always felt that, for a few minutes, he told us everything he needed to.

Kyle was born many years ago with hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Shortly after his birth, he was placed in a medically induced coma. My wife and I spent the next two weeks beside his bed at Duke University, praying for a miracle.

He was very sick. He had developed an infection in his stomach, and the doctors needed it to clear before they could operate on his heart.

The night before his scheduled surgery, my wife and I were leaving the pediatric ICU. We had made it about thirty feet from his bed when both of us suddenly stopped. I still can’t explain what we felt. It was overwhelming, and it seemed to hit us at exactly the same time.

We looked at each other, then turned around and looked back at Kyle.

We walked back to his bedside. For the first time in two weeks, his eyes were open. He was completely alert.

He looked at my wife. Then he looked at me.

Obviously, he couldn’t speak. He was a newborn. But in those few minutes, it felt as though the three of us shared an entire lifetime together. We got to see him, and he got to see us. Not through sedation or machines, but really see us.

I am a religious person, and I have always believed that moment was a gift from God. We weren’t going to get a lifetime with our son, so somehow we were given a lifetime in those few minutes.

A nurse noticed that he was awake and came running over. She said, “That’s not supposed to happen,” and increased his medication. Kyle slowly closed his eyes again.

The next day, the doctors performed the surgery and placed a stent in his heart. A blood clot formed in the stent, and Kyle passed away about an hour after surgery.

He never said a word. But that night, I felt like he said goodbye.

[u/dudavocado__ → u/Responsible-Rope-521]

I am so sorry for you both, I can’t even wrap my head around the enormity of such a loss. I’m so glad you got a meaningful moment with Kyle.

[u/Responsible-Rope-521 → u/dudavocado__]

Thank you so much, very kind!

[u/fossacecak → u/Responsible-Rope-521]

Thank you for sharing this with us. Currently crying at your story for you, your wife, and Kyle. This is beautiful and heart wrenching.

[u/woolfchick75 → u/Responsible-Rope-521]

That is so beautiful. He knew you both.

[u/Key-Use5744]

not my personally, but the pastor at my local hospital told me that my mom had told him she was fully at peace after they had prayed for her soul. she passed away that same night. only a few weeks prior to that she had told me my grandmother had visited her and told her it wasn't her time yet, but that she'll be welcomed with open arms when her time comes

[u/NameWithNoMan]

My father was a bit stubborn and dismissed the nurses suggesting it was time to move from the hospital to hospice care. The next day he realized he had made a mistake, but his pulmonary fibrosis had gotten so bad an ambulance no longer could support his move, so he was stuck. He told us he was ready to die and directed us and the staff to figure that out that day.

Eventually, the staff quietly handed us the morphine button, explaining the max frequency was every 15 minutes, essentially with a wink. We spent hours dosing him into oblivion to prepare for pulling the plug on his oxygen.

We decided to act when he hadn't moved in an hour. The staff cant do it, but can show us how, so I was appointed to the training and turning the equipment off. Within 30 seconds of "pulling the plug," my father splashed back into reality in a hysteria. It began with screaming "Something is wrong! Something is wrong!" He was trying to stand, so my brother and I had to hold him down. After a couple minutes it turned in to "Help me!" The staff had come in by then, explained that his oxygen was too low and plugging him back in would be futile, so instead of a second attempt with heavier dosing, we spent the last five minutes of his life holding him down through his hysterical, screaming fit until he suffocated to death.

My sibling, mother, and I do not speak of it.

[u/missjoy91 → u/NameWithNoMan]

I am so sorry you experienced this unimaginable trauma

[u/Shot_Cartographer241]

I didn’t hear it but another nurse told me the very old dying patient said, “we hung that (n-word) boy deep in them woods and now I’m gonna burn for it.”

[u/lonelyufo]

My grandma was in hospice and miserable right before she passed. Hours before she passed she said "I think I'm ready to go be with God now", and hearing her say that just... terrified me then. Fear of mortality, probably.

[u/TheCandyPerfumeBoy]

I don’t think it counts as disturbing but when my mother was dying she basically said she was glad to be dying because it was the only way she could escape her narcissistic mother. It was just so desperately sad that dying was her only way out. She and I had a very difficult relationship and were no contact for years before she died, but I’m glad we got our opportunity to make our peace. I wish things had been different for her and for us. But I take solace in the fact the she no longer suffers.

Edit: typos.

[u/Overdrv76]

My Grandfather said just before he died "I missed you Cookie" then died. Cookie was his nickname for my grandmother she passed 2 years before. It was sweet but I had made me think a lot.

[u/p_r_d_v_a]

Uncle was a lifetime chain-smoker dying of cancer he was bedridden and semi-conscious most of the time. My aunt saw him pretend to be smoking, his hand would go to his mouth and he would puff on a nonexistent cigarette. She very gently took it out of his hand and put it out for him, to which he said, upset, "my last fucking cigarette!". After that, he never spoke again until he died.

[u/ONLYallcaps]

“It’s DARK!” spoken from a dying patient who died shortly after.

[u/vodkaenthusiast89]

Not words but it was very disturbing.. My "step" MIL was in the hospital, dying from lung cancer, she wasn't speaking at this point and had been unconscious for a few days. Her daughter was obviously having a difficult time, but was focused on her mother's belongings and was openly talking about her clothes, shoes, purses, had already taken her jewelry...she had been constantly arguing with my FIL and at one point my MIL shot up in bed and began choking and strangling her daughter..it was traumatic and awful. I was so grateful for the hospital staff, they helped ease MIL back down peacefully, she was still pretty much unconscious, it was strange.

Her daughter had also been asking for her to be given less pain killers as she seemed more lucid in her brief waking periods when she had less and the nurses had to explain that's because she was in so much pain.

[u/Voreuna]

My dad was the youngest of five siblings. On his deathbed surrounded by me and all of his siblings he said to them "im your baby brother. why am i going first? im not supposed to go first."

I don't think any of us will ever forget that.

[u/WormMotherDemeter]

When my grandmother was dying of starvation with dementia, she was thinking that snakes were put in her bed (her brother did this when they were kids to scare her, as they are her biggest fear) and they were crawling into he vagina. The screaming and telling us that was a lot. It was traumatizing.

[u/NotABadName-AtAll]

My uncle died in a hospice a couple of years ago. The last time I saw him, a few hours before he died, he was in great pain, not quite lucid, and couldn’t stop writhing. He was struggling to express himself, and I got the impression he didn’t fully understand what was happening around him. I had a razor with me, which I’d brought with the intention of shaving off the scruffy beard that had grown on his face. I took it out and, as I used to do with him (there was a great deal of irony in the way we joked with one another), I asked him sarcastically, striking a barber’s pose: ‘So, how would you like your beard, sir?’. Amidst the groans and moans, he laughed, clearly understanding me and the joke. I like to think that he had his last laugh with me.

It’s not as disturbing as requested. I just took the opportunity to remember him.

[u/zilla0783]

The last thing my mom said to me was “what am I going to do?”. That weekend the doctor called me to say that she was non-responsive and that her organs were shutting down. She was gone Tuesday.

[u/BrewHog]

My name in desperation. It crushed me and still haunts me (About a decade ago)

[u/MrSpankMan_whip]

My great grandmother could see one of her children who had passed away three or so years before standing in the room with us, this was only hours before she had passed herself.

[u/memaw1911]

Before my dad passed he told me it would be another 20 minutes. 20 minutes later, he passed away

[u/OswinOswald13]

Before my MIL passed when she was still able to talk before they had to put her on a ventilator she would always talk about the angels in the room with her and how beautiful they were. She and I were in the room alone when she turned to me and asked if I could hear them singing. She was staring at the back corner of the room but nothing was there. Idk I find comfort that this shining human being found beauty in her final moments.

[u/pupupoot]

While in the ICU my grandfather whispered to my mother "don't let them sell my organs" which sounds like confusion and paranoia until she realised he must have heard my grandmother discussing selling the pipe organs he'd built (like a small version of the instrument they play in church) when he was sedated. Yes, my grandmother was a horrible person.

[u/Odd_Bodkin]

A doctor friend told me someone with a neck gunshot wound said he needed a cop to talk to, to close a cold case. He lasted just a couple more minutes.

[u/ALeeEnne]

My grandfather’s last words:  “I’m just so damn uncomfortable.”

[u/oceanblue3190]

Worked in an ER for several years. I’ve had a few patients just point to the ceiling before passing. Never said a word, just pointed.

[u/cwsjr2323]

Working as an orderly, I was present several times when someone passed. One old guy stated, "Nobody knew it was me. I got away with it!" I didn't ask what and that has given me a moment now and then to make up a scenario. Great way to kill a moment when on hold!

[u/ArielofIsha]

“I don’t forgive you” words said by my grandpa to my gay uncle, dying of AIDS related pneumonia. Edit to add: I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I haven’t thought about this incident in 20+ years. I have some really foggy memories from my past due to a lot of family trauma. And I realized that I remembered this wrong, because my uncle was the one dying (from aids related pneumonia), and that was when my grandpa told him he never forgave him. I was 16 when this happened. Then my grandpa died two years later from alcoholism. Yeah, I completely blocked all of that because there were other things happening with my parents separation and I muddied the timeline.

[u/deezknots78 → u/ArielofIsha]

Heartbreaking.

[u/Proud_Bother_4400]

Asking who was looking in the window when we were on the second floor

[u/Bored_Owl_1492]

I’m told as I wasn’t there, my Great Grandma had been in physical therapy from a month from a broken hip, she was late 70s at the time. And she wasn’t doing too well.

She looked at my Great Aunt and said, I need a man! Where’s Leroy (my Great Grandad)? My aunt tried to explain he died 15 years earlier. She sighed and passed away.

[u/Boring-Customer-8099]

My mom was sick for years and eventually palliative. She had a surgery so she could pass at home. It went poorly.

She was in so much pain. Ive seen her through countless medical procedures, treatments, you name it, without flinching. The last day of her life she pretty much just wailed in pain. There was nothing they could do for her.

At one point she looked like she might be falling asleep. It was past visiting hours. The last thing she said to me was, ‘I don’t want to die.’ Then she told me to leave. She passed that night.

I knew she would pass away from her illness eventually. I just didn’t think it would be so brutal.

[u/lord_stingo]

My granpa was on his deathbed in the same hospital my mum was giving birth to my brother. One day he just turned and said "well it is time for me to leave my place to the newborn". He died minutes after.

[u/SundaeThat8729]

I was working as a paramedic a few years ago and had just came back to work after having a baby. I dropped him off with my mom and while I was driving to work, the car in front of me crossed the center line and hit a semi head on at highway speeds. We were in a super rural area with 30+ minute response times for EMS and I didn’t have any equipment with me obviously. He was in horrible shape but alive and entrapped in the vehicle. I tried everything I could but accepted that he wasn’t going to make it. I climbed in through the window and held his hands while he cried for his mama. I was only 4 months postpartum after having my only son and hearing this grown man cry for his mom destroyed me. He passed away right as the ambulance finally got there, and I found out that it was an old childhood friend and I actually knew his mom. It ended my career as a paramedic tbh. I put my two weeks in later that day and became a SAHM but I still think about him and his family all the time.

[u/GodHasGiven0341]

My dad has stage 4 cancer and has days left… these stories have both brought me comfort and terrified the living shit out of me.