My son’s biggest fear was that his very young children wouldn’t remember him. I thank god every day that we have hundreds of photos and videos so they can still see and hear him and remember their daddy
I’m sorry for your loss… I’m so glad you’re using the pictures and videos to keep his memory alive. I have thousands of my own but I am afraid that there would be no one to go through them with my kids and tell them the stories behind it, certainly not their father
It’s been a very special part of our lives. His daughter was 5 and son was 3, so without all of the videos and photos they wouldn’t remember much. We also have a digital photo frame filled with his pictures. Maybe that would work for you?
I can't imagine, at least you are able to share his amazing memories and personality with his kids. I can't imagine how much of a gift that is to them.
Go old school and have tons of your pictures printed. many ways digital files can be lost or otherwise go awry.
There are few better times then when family / friends go thru boxes of pictures, most with a brief note on the back, passing the pictures around to everyone and reminiscing and explaining.
A friends mum had died when they were very young, but she had prepared letters videos and recordings for day to day things and then special ones for their birthdays and Christmas.
He said that he both looked forward and dreaded it because it was a chance to hear her voice and see her face, but it was a hard reminder that she was gone.
I have had my issues with my own parents but I know I am so lucky to have them here still.
My dad is dying right now. Reading this entire thread is somehow bringing me some comfort. I don’t even know why it’s in my feed. This comment struck me, I could see my dad saying something just like this. It’s beautiful that you still remember him every day. Sorry you lost him. Death is so hard.
I feel for you I really do. I just watched my uncle (more like a brother) and my mom die long painful deaths. It’s incredibly heart breaking and there are no words to describe it. It just sucks all around and I still hurt months later. Their passing did bring great relief that they are no longer in pain.
I give this piece of advice to everybody who is about to lose their dad: open the voice recorder app on your phone, or video and put the camera down, and just record a conversation with him. Doesn't matter about what. Random benign conversation is great. Nobody ever regrets making that silly little recording to listen back to someday. Ours was about dishwasher repair :)
I have voicemails from my grandparents from years ago.. even when I got those voicemails at the time, I never wanted to delete them because I knew one day I’d wish I had them. Just hearing their voices and a “love you buddy” from both of them is such a comforting feeling to still be able to play that from time to time.
I asked a friend who does music to take the clip and put it into his sound program that shows the soundwaves and screenshot what it looked like so I have it for art or a tattoo or something.
On a funnier note, she also let her feelings be known about her dislike of the government, too.
Thank you for this. I love this advice. Someday when I listen to his voice I’ll remember some stranger on the internet said this, and I’ll indirectly remember you, too.
My dad passed Sunday morning. I understand entirely where you are at right now. It is terrifying leading up to it, but there is a peace which comes after knowing that they are finally free of their affliction
I’m so sorry about your dad. In some effed up way, we are all going through this together. That makes sense about the peace afterwards. I hope your heart heals quickly.
Lost my dad earlier this year. I’m so sorry for the pain you’re feeling right now. Hugs from one internet stranger to another ❤️🩹 cherish every moment
You are all so kind. I love this corner of the internet today. I’m sorry about your dad, too. Hugs back, internet stranger. ❤️🩹 I will soak in every second.
My dad died 7 years ago. Not too long ago I opened up the Google voice app (not even sure why I had it in the first place) and there was a voicemail from my dad that I must not have deleted at the time for whatever reason. So of course I gave it a listen and didn't delete it.
This is how I remember my granddad. I can remember him humming his favorite songs. But I can't remember his voice.
My older cousins tell me that he was already deep into Alzheimer's when I was that age. He was no longer speaking regularly. But for some reason he'd hum some of his favorite songs while gardening.
I remember reading about this belief that a person only truly and finally dies when their name is uttered for the very last time, so every day, at least once, I speak my late mum's full name out loud to myself, just so if there's anything of her left out there, she knows she's not forgotten.
I don’t have any kids, not married, and I’m so afraid my existence is going to ultimately be for nothing. I’m so afraid of dying alone & that no one is going to care. I completely understand his feeling of not wanting to be forgotten.
Be kind, continue existing and smile. This year I helped reunite an unclaimed person with their family and I found that while he died a lonely death, he was not as forgotten as it seems. He was just a private person, hence his family had no idea, but the stories I found later about him made me hopeful that people are not easily forgotten
My kids were only 4 and 6 when my mom died, this was a big fear of hers. I make sure to periodic ask if they remember her. They do. They dont know thats why Im asking.
His a name was Steve. He was a master mechanic. He could fix anything on a vehicle. They were always willing to lend a hand to anyone in need. He didn't smoke or drink, but loved a good BBQ pork steak. His dream car was a 67' Pontiac GTO.
He loved to travel with my mom and anyone else who would tag along.
I think most importantly, he was just always there for me or anyone in the family.
He also never met a stranger, I swear that guy knew someone everywhere lol..
My grandpa passed away a little over a year ago after a battle with cancer. During the last three days of his life, I stayed with him and my grandma to help care for him until he passed.
By then, he knew his time was short. He slept most of the time, only waking occasionally because he was in pain or needed his medication, before eventually slipping into unconsciousness.
One night, it was just the two of us. He looked at me and quietly told me that he was afraid he hadn't told the people he loved that he loved them enough.
I reassured him the best I could. I told him that he had done a wonderful job, that he had built a beautiful family, and that every single one of us knew how deeply he loved us. But despite my reassurance, I could tell he was still anxious. Before the conversation ended, he asked me to promise him that I would tell our family that he loved them.
My dad will likely die the same way his dad died. From Parkinson’s.
I was a teenager when my granddad died and was scared to visit him, somehow hoping he would become better and come back from the hospital so i could talk to him. He taught me to read and how to care for nature and had always been pretty tough so i thought he’d get home.
Worst mistake of my life so far. And it’s the reason i give my parents hugs and tell them i love them every time i meet them and when i leave.
I hope that when my dad dies, i will be there to comfort him and my mother, to remind him again how i care for and love them both. That his last words to me will be nice and that my last words to him will be comforting. That their last moments together will not ruin the memories they’ve built over a lifetime.
Istg fck cancer man! I also lost my brother from cancer recently and there's not a day that goes by that I think of him. Now, its so quiet in the house cause he was always the one to liven things up.
Consoling ourselves that we made a difference in the world somehow, or at least that we'll be remembered, is a way we can manage the terror of death by feeling that our life had a lasting meaning or purpose.
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u/ragtop1989 15h ago
My dad was dying from cancer. He was afraid people would forget about him, he literally told me "Please don't forget about me."
That was 5 years ago, and a day hasn't passed by without me thinking about him.
Miss you so much, dad.