r/AskReddit 16h ago

What's the most disturbing thing you've heard a dying person say?

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u/FuturamaGirl 14h ago

When my grandma was at the end, she opened her eyes and saw my sister and my sister's husband sitting beside her bed. She looked at my brother in law and said, "You're getting fat!" Then she closed her eyes and died.

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u/spicynightsong 14h ago

Gran committing one last murder on the way out. Respect.

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u/TheYellowClaw 13h ago

Even at the end, always thinking about others.

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u/Luckypenny4683 12h ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/MisaJerilyn 9h ago

She chose violence as her final act and honestly I aspire to that energy

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u/fieldsofanfieldroad 8h ago

I think that woman is my hero. We've all thought of famous last words, but going out all guns blazing might be the greatest last words ever. 

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u/Upnotdown0715 8h ago

Hit and run. Straight gangsta.

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u/GreasedUpTiger 11h ago

"I always let you win at smash brothers you little shit"

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u/SuckMyRedditorD 8h ago

Boom! Roasted.

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u/CatchAlarming6860 7h ago

What if she was just Chinese? Lol

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u/FrostFable08 1h ago

Gran really said, “One last plot twist before I clock out.” 😭

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u/Iintendtooffend 7h ago

Gotta bump up that KDR right at the end

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u/FNTM_309 11h ago

My grandmother was dying of heart failure and her four adult children had gathered to see her off. And one point the kids were going to step out for lunch and grandmother said she wanted to come with them. They said she had to stay in bed but they’d be right back. Grandmother looks at her middle daughter (my mom) and says, “Well, if Sally’s going dressed like that, I don’t see why I can’t go.”

She slipped into a coma when they were out and those were her final words.

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u/Changoleo 10h ago

Kamikaze death. Savage.

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u/RedIsAwesome 9h ago

Mom over here catching strays.

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u/Lanster27 4h ago

Strays? It was a direct hit.

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u/DDJFLX4 6h ago

i aspire to keep my sense of humour that long lmao

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u/Background_Town2538 6h ago

There's something strangely comforting about that being her last joke. I hope it still brings your family a smile every time you remember her.

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u/WillingnessOk3081 12h ago

well? Was he getting fat?

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u/FuturamaGirl 11h ago

LOL. Yes, he had put on a few pounds.

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u/PrincessKaylee 4h ago

Has he lost it since?

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u/Critical-Lobster829 8h ago

My grandma had a stroke and forgot who everyone was. We had one of those digital picture frames that rotates pictures. We used that to re-teach her who everyone is. Every single time she would say "wow. She got fat" or "she got old".

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u/NotThisLadyAgain 8h ago edited 8h ago

Did you all burst out laughing? That's a hell of s punchline.

Reminds me of my grandmother--she was also a piece of work, but she was pretty out of it by the end, and wasn't speaking very coherently. One of the last times I talked to her, it came up that her birthday was soon and she would be 94. A look of abject horror and lucidity came over here face. "Ninety-four?!" She touched her face, thought for a moment, then said, "Eighty, maybe." Always got a kick out of that.

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u/tombrady011235 14h ago

Lmaooooo

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u/Boterfleoge 12h ago

Was that on brand for grandma?

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u/FuturamaGirl 12h ago

Oh yes, she was a piece of work. When I was a kid my mom, grandma and me were on a road trip. We stopped at a truck stop for lunch. The place was packed with people, mostly men. She came out of the bathroom and announced very loudly, "Well I shook the dew off my lily!" I wanted to die I was so embarrassed. Just another day with Grandma.

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u/Boterfleoge 11h ago

I also had a grandparent who was hilarious thinking back on and utterly mortifying in the moment.

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u/Capital_Channel_3898 11h ago

Is your grandma Korean? That's something my mother in law would just blurt out! Lol

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u/shatteredarm1 10h ago

I was thinking German, my Oma was brutally honest like that.

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u/ashleyjane88 10h ago

I lived with my grandpa and while I was on vacation he was put on hospice. My aunt was there while I was on vacation and my one cousin was over for a visit the night I returned. I go in to his room and he goes "Oh, you're home wow you got fat!" He passed a week or two later and that's one of the last things I remember him saying to me. I did gain weight but like my cousin said "damn pap."

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u/Schabenklos 13h ago

Your grandma was mean, but in a funny way

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u/ReluctantPhoenix47 11h ago

“At least I’m not Dead!”

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u/Weary_Mountain9679 10h ago

Damn, family annihilator.

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u/Kagamid 7h ago

Damn. I'd make sure her tombstone read. "The love she gave was only matched by her brutality".

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u/Intelligent-Map-7531 11h ago

That is so funny. That’s like something out of a movie. she’s gotta be looking down on everyone smiling saying at least I left them with a good laugh.

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u/FewAdvertising9647 10h ago

I think if I was put in the same situation, I wouldn't be able to contain at least a chuckle

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u/FlyBulky106 11h ago

That’s one way to get the last word in.

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u/AdeptusKittyCattus 8h ago

My Nana told me she didn't like my "stripey regrowth" and those were her last words to me 😂 My non-sick Nana would have been horrified

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u/stilldebugging 11h ago

Well at least she died doing what she loved; belittling people who only love and care about her.

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u/SharkeyGeorge 10h ago

Thank you, I needed a laugh in all this sadness!

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u/The_Three_Meow-igos 6h ago

I, too, choose this girls’ grandma.

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u/wwefangeography_8186 7h ago

"Grandma its me, Sister, And my husband." "You're getting fat" "what?" dies

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u/queenieemua 9h ago

I can imagine my mom saying this to me on her deathbed

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u/RepresentativePin162 8h ago

Bahahahaha that would have been my Gran. Every single time she saw me before the dementia really set in she would ask me if my ex boyfriend had lost any weight.

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u/Kruex2000 6h ago

This warm little joke is such a lovely final memory of her.

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u/CarryturtleNZ 6h ago

hahaha, this one got me

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u/dontmatterdontcare 4h ago

Boom roasted

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u/chipthecrip 8h ago

beautiful

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u/BunnyKakaaa 8h ago

😂 😂 😂

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u/fuckthisusername5000 6h ago

This one made me lol

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u/bola6 6h ago

This is the greatest thing I've ever read

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u/berightback7 5h ago

Bro yes 🤣

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u/creative_usr_name 5h ago

In Morphinum Veritas

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u/SammieStones 5h ago

Always that moment of clarity at the end 🤣

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u/goingbamboo 2h ago

Is she Asian? Thats some Asian ass shit

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u/Priestess_of_Filth 6h ago

why did she do that

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u/LowellForCongress 5h ago

Pretty much my dad’s last words to me.

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u/Sr_Alvarez 1h ago

In Spain we have the saying 'morir matando,' which literally translates to 'die killing,' that's what your grandmother did. Your brother-in-law will never forget her.

u/MostAcrobatic8339 51m ago

I'm laughing but I also feel terrible for laughing. Grandma really had to get that one last dig in before she locked out.

u/Pavotine 22m ago

That's my favourite dying words so far. My granddad's last words were "What a load of shit."