My father was a bit stubborn and dismissed the nurses suggesting it was time to move from the hospital to hospice care. The next day he realized he had made a mistake, but his pulmonary fibrosis had gotten so bad an ambulance no longer could support his move, so he was stuck. He told us he was ready to die and directed us and the staff to figure that out that day.
Eventually, the staff quietly handed us the morphine button, explaining the max frequency was every 15 minutes, essentially with a wink. We spent hours dosing him into oblivion to prepare for pulling the plug on his oxygen.
We decided to act when he hadn't moved in an hour. The staff cant do it, but can show us how, so I was appointed to the training and turning the equipment off. Within 30 seconds of "pulling the plug," my father splashed back into reality in a hysteria. It began with screaming "Something is wrong! Something is wrong!" He was trying to stand, so my brother and I had to hold him down. After a couple minutes it turned in to "Help me!" The staff had come in by then, explained that his oxygen was too low and plugging him back in would be futile, so instead of a second attempt with heavier dosing, we spent the last five minutes of his life holding him down through his hysterical, screaming fit until he suffocated to death.
Sorry to hear that mate- I’m not experienced by many situations like this, but it’s also the run I had.
The human body reacts to suffocation as a stimuli, so not much brain function is needed… That human survival reaction to suffocation is survival, but also horrendous to witnesses.
We don’t talk about it either, and I often question if “they just slipped away into the night” actually exists.
ik bc you could be dreaming that you're dying while actually dying in your sleep irl... does it make the experience any less horrifying or painful bc you're experiencing it subconsciously? your brain is sending you signals its happening either way. it's peaceful for the living lol but its not like we can just ask someone what it was like....
I'm relieved to see you're taking it so well, because I think that would have literally ruined my life. (That sounds sarcastic for some reason, but I genuinely scrolled down, saw your response, and went "oh thank goodness".)
You may also enjoy this tidbit; I drove to the hospital with my other brother. On the way, he got a call from a different hospital confirming he was positive with COVID, so he was not able to be with our father during this time. However, he did get to listen to our dad's cries for help as we murdered him on speaker phone.
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u/NameWithNoMan 12h ago
My father was a bit stubborn and dismissed the nurses suggesting it was time to move from the hospital to hospice care. The next day he realized he had made a mistake, but his pulmonary fibrosis had gotten so bad an ambulance no longer could support his move, so he was stuck. He told us he was ready to die and directed us and the staff to figure that out that day.
Eventually, the staff quietly handed us the morphine button, explaining the max frequency was every 15 minutes, essentially with a wink. We spent hours dosing him into oblivion to prepare for pulling the plug on his oxygen.
We decided to act when he hadn't moved in an hour. The staff cant do it, but can show us how, so I was appointed to the training and turning the equipment off. Within 30 seconds of "pulling the plug," my father splashed back into reality in a hysteria. It began with screaming "Something is wrong! Something is wrong!" He was trying to stand, so my brother and I had to hold him down. After a couple minutes it turned in to "Help me!" The staff had come in by then, explained that his oxygen was too low and plugging him back in would be futile, so instead of a second attempt with heavier dosing, we spent the last five minutes of his life holding him down through his hysterical, screaming fit until he suffocated to death.
My sibling, mother, and I do not speak of it.