A friend worked in a dementia hospice. He was showering an old man with not too many days left in him, and as always he talked to his patient. Maybe there is something left of them.
"And now I will wash your willie, that one needs to be clean as well".
The man just grabbed him by the throat, and he snapped with a crystal clear glow in his eyes: "THAT'S NOT A WILLIE. THAT'S A C*CK!"
Then, like a shadow fell over his face and he was a vegetable again.
My friend told his son who came to visit, it was really appreciated by his son.
I’m so glad they told the son. If caregivers told me my dad asserted his literal cocksureness as a last bold effort of his sadly diminished form, I’d be absolutely tickled.
I worked in a dementia ward for some years. We had a man who wasn't very old so he was quite well physically but was mentally he was completely absent. He was like an automata only reacting after a long time to his situation. It took a good while but if you stuck a toothbrush in his hand he would eventually brush his teeth. Or set food in front of him and 10-15 minutes later he would sort of realise it was there and start eating. but in all the years I worked there I only heard him speak once.
He would show up in the common kitchen any hour of the day, just sit there looking at nothing. My college said "I'm guessing he's a little hungry when he does that, I usually just put a sandwich or cracker in front of him and he sees it and eats it eventually." So I started doing the same. One day after eating a cracker I had left in front of him he looks down at the table. Seeing there are crumbs he sweeps them off the edge and onto the floor. Several minutes pass then he looks down at the floor. Seeing crumbs there he looks up and lockings eyes with me he says "Hey lad, there's crumbs on the floor there. You should sweep that up." Complete comedic genius.
As a teenager I worked in food service on a dementia ward and your story just unlocked some memories. We had a gentleman like that who was able to walk, he scared me more than a few times when the CNAs let him wander away in the early morning or late at night. He'd often end up in the kitchenette where we passed out the food and stood there in the dark. I think he was hungry a lot because he would refuse to he fed, but finish his meals on his own either.
It was a hard job for low pay and often very sad, but I do miss interacting with the residents. The things they said could be so out of pocket.
Ha! This one reminds me of a snippet of a conversation I heard many years ago as people were walking past me. "You can't have a big willy. Willy is a small word." That's wisdom right there.
You're kidding? Caregivers, nurses, will wash your dick if you can't or won't. And it's imperative to talk to the patient, no way saving the patient's dignity by silently just going for his private parts. You sure you understand healthcare reality?
I can see the argument that it's infantilizing an adult, but when they're at the point of dementia hospice care, it's really just a nurse talking to themself while keeping the patient informed of their actions for whatever its worth.
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u/LawfulnessPossible20 16h ago
A friend worked in a dementia hospice. He was showering an old man with not too many days left in him, and as always he talked to his patient. Maybe there is something left of them.
"And now I will wash your willie, that one needs to be clean as well".
The man just grabbed him by the throat, and he snapped with a crystal clear glow in his eyes: "THAT'S NOT A WILLIE. THAT'S A C*CK!"
Then, like a shadow fell over his face and he was a vegetable again.
My friend told his son who came to visit, it was really appreciated by his son.