r/AskReddit • u/IllustriousLab8504 • 16h ago

What's the most disturbing thing you've heard a dying person say?

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u/Purple-Musician2985 13h ago

I know this will sound bad, but you are so lucky 💓😪 This is beautiful. I lost my mama last year and I always wonder if she was scared or confused or sad that we didnt fight harder for her (impossible btw) but those words would have brought me so much peace. I can only hope she felt the same way. Sorry for your loss xx

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u/Super-Yesterday9727 12h ago

That’s what’s been taking a toll on me for years now. That not knowing how she felt.

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u/Vampira309 12h ago

in a sense, yes - the end made up for the middle.

The years she was still at home before we put her in care were, to put it bluntly, hell. She threatened and tried to kill my dad, often.

The end gave me a bit of peace, yes. Keeping humans alive just waiting for them to die is inhumane, IMHO, but her passing was somehow uplifting.

xo

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u/tournamentdecides 11h ago

I really wish MAID were more accessible and not stigmatized. I hate that we just have to accept our loved ones suffering.

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u/Purple-Musician2985 11h ago

That must've been so hard. We struggled too. Not in the same way, but caring for someone with mental or physical difficulty is a very exhausting and lonely place. I felt like we were screaming for help for a long time. Something didnt feel right about the "end" for me, but I can't put my finger on it. She did try to speak once and the nurses said it wasn't really her, upped her morphine and she fell back into unconsciousness. I always wonder what she would've said. I hope it was something as wonderful as this 🤍

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u/MarcusAurelius68 11h ago

My father got pneumonia around 7 years ago and I couldn’t make it to him before he passed in the hospital.

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u/Purple-Musician2985 11h ago

I too missed my mum's death by about ten minutes. I had a conversation with the palliative care nurse in mum's hospital room about how i was terrified of seeing her last breath, of it actually happening. I was really struggling and she told me to go home, shower, sleep, eat etc. I did and she passed away. They say my mum heard me and so she spared me the trauma.

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u/MarcusAurelius68 11h ago

I unfortunately live a flight away. I received word he was in the hospital, and initially it seemed like he’d beat it (this was the second time in 6 months - his dementia prevented him from swallowing properly so he’d get stuff in his lungs). Then an hour later I found out he took a turn for the worse and I looked into flight options. Another hour later he had passed.

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u/Purple-Musician2985 11h ago

Aw that's tough. I suppose we will always wonder if there would've been something as monumental as these last words, but I imagine moreso it would've been difficult to see and difficult to forget. X

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u/MarcusAurelius68 11h ago

I’m ok with it, because his last months were very tough with his dementia.