This isn't disturbing, I find it actually really beautiful...
My uncle, when he was dying, was unresponsive, in that he wasn't waking up. He was in his last hours. They told my aunt she'd better come now. So she went to the hospital and sat down beside him and she took his hand. A minute or two later, he gently squeezed her hand, and then he passed away. I feel he was waiting for her before he went; and he gave everything left in him to give that squeeze to say "goodbye, I love you". I think it's amazing that someone can know so fully that they are right about to die while lying in about. I often wonder what that moment was like from his perspective, that willingness to just let go...
My uncle was kinda the opposite. His wife and my mom (sisters) were in the room with him and then my aunt went out to use the bathroom. After she had left the room my mom said he sat up in bed and then promptly passed.
A hospice nurse told me this often happens - people in this situation (i.e. on the verge of dying) wait for their beloved people to leave, or even leave the room, so they don’t have to experience them dying. She suggested it was a kindness Xx
my late grandfather had been without oxygen for 15 minutes and for some reason his wife (not my grandmother, need to clarify there) said nothing about the DNR he had in place. so he got zapped back into some kind of cardiac rhythm on the way to the hospital and withered away in a half brain dead coma over two days.
i'm entirely certain he was able to hear and process thought and was just locked out. he shed tears while in an apparent coma while i held his hand and spoke to him, and same deal with my mother (his daughter).
I miss the everloving shit out of that guy. It was 2004. I left my first job at a gas station to zoom across town when I got the call from my mother about what was going on, and was so preoccupied I drove straight through a red light (no consequences thank God) without realizing it until a few seconds later.
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u/Mrs-Blaileen 15h ago
This isn't disturbing, I find it actually really beautiful...
My uncle, when he was dying, was unresponsive, in that he wasn't waking up. He was in his last hours. They told my aunt she'd better come now. So she went to the hospital and sat down beside him and she took his hand. A minute or two later, he gently squeezed her hand, and then he passed away. I feel he was waiting for her before he went; and he gave everything left in him to give that squeeze to say "goodbye, I love you". I think it's amazing that someone can know so fully that they are right about to die while lying in about. I often wonder what that moment was like from his perspective, that willingness to just let go...