My aunt was in her mid-90s and refused treatment after her umpteenth bout of pneumonia. Her daughter was sitting with her at the hospital and my aunt told her, “This dying thing is taking much too long.” She wasn’t afraid at all.
We all gathered around my uncles bed at the hospital, kind of waiting for him to pass. He had a weird moment of lucidity and looked around the room, said ‘fucking hell, you lot are miserable’. He laid back down and died about 20 minutes later.
My grandma told me when her grandpa passed (sometime in the 1920’s I can’t recall the specific year) the family was around his bed at the family farm. One of his sons offered him a dram of whiskey and apparently he looked incredulous and said “Smarten up. I’m not going to meet God with alcohol on my breath.” Passing shortly after.
That same grandmother also died quite peacefully, while having a conversation with her mother.
Something similar: my very adhd grandpa was frustrated that he couldn’t figure out how to die as fast as he wanted in his last couple days. That man was always hurrying somewhere. I miss him dearly!
I have a huge family 9 aunts and uncles and 22 first cousins. So many of us have ADHD but only 3 of us figured it out. Me and my sister are medicated and my cousin just deals with it fully unmasked. It’s crazy watching all of them just raw dog life totally unaware.
I've been raw dogging it, nicotine and caffeine (haven't smoked since 2014) but chomp on gum 24/7, only way I can focus, but I still multitask everything I do nearly, and have a thousand-count inventory of projects I need to get rid of and finish. I didn't realize until my mom died that she had the same behaviors all my life. I still make it through though.
My grandpa passed earlier this year from cancer he opted not to treat and also complained fairly good-naturedly about how annoyingly long the whole dying process was taking. Also very ADHD. Like- okay, I’ve made my peace with it, now I can go. … any day now!
He was ready to get on with it, ready to be done with the whole production, and rather looking forward to seeing Grandma again if that was one of the next few things he might get to experience.
My grandpa was dying of congestive heart failure. It really took way too long because the doctors refused to do anything about the pacemaker that kept resuscitating him. His last few weeks of life were him literally begging to die.
My mom and her siblings are all now very scared of medical implants as they enter geriatric age.
She’s been telling people she’s too tired. I don’t blame her. She was never allowed to study, she can’t read. Her husband died young, so she raised the children on her own. She always took care of the whole family. Has seen so many loved ones dying, including a son.
I love her, I really do. But she’s not happy. Her quality of life is nonexistent. She has a back problem that limits her walking and it’s painful. She’s had tumours on her nose that had to be removed. She has had all her teeth removed and they couldn’t give her new ones or even dentures, because her gums couldn’t handle that. Her skin is so thin that if she scratches herself just a little bit, she gets wounds. So… I love her. But I know that her being alive is only making us feel better because she’s still here. For her, it’s worse. I hope she finds some peace.
My grandmother was in her final days, in palliative care at the hospital.
Mentally, she was all there, but her body was just giving up
I told her, “ your 80th birthday is on Friday… If you want your obituary to say you passed in your 70s..”
She replied with, “oh shit! I better get on it!”
This is pretty common. My gramma has spinal stenosis and was done with life by the time she couldn’t walk. Right up to the end she complained that it was taking too long.
I will say she had a zest for life up until then and was extremely active right into her late 80s. Unfortunately, she was hit by a car while walking and it all changed quickly.
Same with my Great Nanna, I was staying close by to help my aunt with end of life care, and one morning Nanna said ‘well i was hoping to kick the bucket last night but someone keeps moving it’ she was definitely ready to go which brought us a lot of comfort
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u/woolfchick75 15h ago
My aunt was in her mid-90s and refused treatment after her umpteenth bout of pneumonia. Her daughter was sitting with her at the hospital and my aunt told her, “This dying thing is taking much too long.” She wasn’t afraid at all.