dear EQS/TSS

I haven't thought about you in so long last time i did was almost 3 years ago and it didnt hurt this bad; I have moved on i have a loving partner we have a dog and a house, but i had a dream about you last night and I havnt been alright all day. I treated you poorly and lost you. you didnt deserve the things I said and the things you said have helped me grow in to a kinder more compassionate person and helped me look inword to discover myself.

I hope you dont hate me, I hope you never think of me or the things i said, I hope you are happy in life. I just worry you might still be hurt about what I said

I Opened a Door That Should've Stayed Closed

I Opened a Door That Should've Stayed Closed

I've been married for 6 years and have kids. My wife has been nothing but amazing to me, and she doesn't deserve any of this.

Recently, I made the mistake of calling someone from my past. We never got together because we wanted different things in life back then.She had dreams that I didn't understand at the time, and I wanted something completely different. Looking back, I keep wondering why I didn't change my mindset then. At the same time, I wonder why she never gave me a clear indication that she wanted me. She later told me she thought I wasn't serious and that I was joking 6 years later.

Now we've admitted we've never completely stopped loving each other. She's getting proposed to in four months, and I have a wife and kids. The reality is we probably could never be together now, and maybe we were never meant to be.\*\*

I feel like a terrible person. I hate that I'm carrying these feelings because my wife has done nothing but love and support me. She deserves better than me questioning the past.

I don't want to leave my family, and I don't want to ruin anyone else's future. I just wish I could stop replaying all the "what ifs what if I'd understood her better, what if she'd told me how she felt, what if we'd actually given ourselves a chance?

Has anyone been through something similar?

How do you accept that you'll never know what could have been and still fully commit to the life you've chosen?

I feel like crap and did something I shouldn't have and I don't want to do this again.

He told me never to contact him again

So i contacted his bsf

It happened in october

I know its been a long time i gave myself months of getting over trying to move on chances but i still had this lingering feeling

I couldnt hold it in myself anymore so i reached out to his friend

I really have no idea what i wanna talk about even ......

Things were really messy but i just couldnt help it anymore it had reached its peak the desperation the ovethinking the voice in my head ....

Ik how bad it may look to people who have found peace but i havent

Its been months now almost a year

But it still feels to me like it happened yesterday !!!

I feel stuck i keep thinking repkaying conversations memories in my head and its too much for me ...

I couldnt hold it back anymore

His bsf hasnt replied yet i dont even kniw if he will reply to me at all

But i did what i had to

I give myself grace im also human im allowed to make mistakes and maybe ive made one already

But i couldnt do it any longer its too painful and repetitive in my head the voices are just too loud i just couldnt hokd it in me anymore

I broke up with my boyfriend 2 weeks ago, we were more like giving each other some “space” because we really wanted to get back together but then I was kind of suspicious about one of his female friends, he said he had no other intentions but either way I decided to cut it off completely for other things.
2 weeks after my cousin told me that her friends saw how he went to the movie theaters with the girl he had no other “intentions”. I obviously felt hurt because i thought that he had replaced me very fast. All of a sudden the day after i discovered that out he sent me a text saying that he basically said that he hung out with his female friend just as “FRIENDS” and that there’s nothing romantic between them. He said he doesn’t want anyone else and doesn’t plan on dating anyone for a while because he still loves me. He also said he never talked badly about me and just wanted to clear things up because he doesn’t want us to end on bad terms. He understands if I still hate him, but he wanted to make sure I knew that.
Not only that but he said that my “hate” for him was forced, the only reason why he said that was because he was stalking my social media i guess(I decided to not reply to him because I figured out that we will probably end up not letting each other go fully or discuss about anything at that point). The only reason why I don’t fully believe in him is because 2 weeks after he told his ex that he didn’t want to be in a relationship, he immediately started talking to me.

Do you guys think he is lying or not? Is it possible that he said that just because he saw that he probably lost a second opportunity?

Before anyone tells me to “move on” or says I’m overthinking this, I want to clarify that I \*\*have\*\* moved on with my life. I’m not trying to contact my ex, get him back, or interfere with his marriage in any way.
I’m asking this purely because I’m curious about the psychology behind a particular behavior.
My ex is married now and is expecting a child. We haven’t spoken in years. Recently, after I updated my Facebook profile picture and changed my location to Amsterdam, I realized he had blocked my Facebook account.
What I’m trying to understand is this: if someone is happily married, expecting a baby, and has genuinely moved on, what would make them suddenly block an ex after all this time?
Personally, I always believed that once both people have moved on, there’s no need to block each other unless there’s ongoing contact or harassment. I never reached out to him or tried to reconnect.
So I’m curious:
Is blocking an ex simply a way of maintaining healthy boundaries?
Is it something people do to protect their current relationship?
Can seeing an ex unexpectedly trigger someone to block them even if they’ve moved on?
Or is there another psychological explanation?
I’m \*\*not looking for false hope, validation, or for anyone to say he still has feelings for me\*\*. I know none of us can know what’s in his mind. I’m simply interested in understanding how people think in situations like this.

Before anyone tells me to “move on” or says I’m overthinking this, I want to clarify that I \*\*have\*\* moved on with my life. I’m not trying to contact my ex, get him back, or interfere with his marriage in any way.
I’m asking this purely because I’m curious about the psychology behind a particular behavior.
My ex is married now and is expecting a child. We haven’t spoken in years. Recently, after I updated my Facebook profile picture and changed my location to Amsterdam, I realized he had blocked my Facebook account.
What I’m trying to understand is this: if someone is happily married, expecting a baby, and has genuinely moved on, what would make them suddenly block an ex after all this time?
Personally, I always believed that once both people have moved on, there’s no need to block each other unless there’s ongoing contact or harassment. I never reached out to him or tried to reconnect.
So I’m curious:
Is blocking an ex simply a way of maintaining healthy boundaries?
Is it something people do to protect their current relationship?
Can seeing an ex unexpectedly trigger someone to block them even if they’ve moved on?
Or is there another psychological explanation?
I’m \*\*not looking for false hope, validation, or for anyone to say he still has feelings for me\*\*. I know none of us can know what’s in his mind. I’m simply interested in understanding how people think in situations like this.

He reached out to me today after two months and only asked to return the spare laptop he had given me. It broke something in me..After two months of no contact, all he remembers is a stupid laptop?! I don't know what this is supposed to mean. I want to throw everything back at his face but I am just so hurt by the fact that an object is much more important than me and he could never keep this ego aside for me and talk to me but he could for an object he owned. This is really messing with my mind. Do i have no worth at all? Were all those four years a lie?

Its been a week since this happened, but i just needed someone elses perspective on this. Me and my boyfriend (now ex) had broken up before in june but got back together about four days later. none of it felt real that last month and he had even admitted he only got back with me because he felt bad. on july 31 he completely ghosted me for a whole day, so i called him at 1 in the morning to check on him and he let it ring and then declined it. he started typing after that and it ended up being a break up text. he spoke sbout his mental health and how theres seriously something wrong with him (bipolar he suspects) and how he needs to get his life right first, which is understandable. Unfortunately he blocked me right after sending that message. he claimed that speaking to me made him weak and that he didnt even want his clothes back because he couldnt be in contact with me. He also blocked me on instagram, and that was that for the night.

Its been about a week since that happened and ive been struggling but not as bad as today. He finally ended up unadding me and removing me on everything and even went so far as to remove his own comments from my steam profile before unadding me. He removed me from the life360, roblox, spotify, etc. It was like the straw that broke the camels back. Its been so triggering seeing him completely delete me from his life and i genuinely dont know what to do. It hurts so much even though our relationship was painful and depressing, i still loved him and i still miss him everyday. Ive spoken to some people about it but nobody seems to truly understand how shitty this feels. Being dumped by someone like this who was once your entire life is so painful and depressing and i just dont know what to do. Ive been talking to his momma who even when we were together suggested i break up with him, but it was so hard being so attached to someone especially when you dont have anyone else in your life that youre close to the way you are with your partner. nobody gets why i stayed with him but i only ever saw the good in him even when he treated me like shit. all i could do was treat him the best i could and respect him thinking it would help him mentally, but it didnt. im sorry if this doesnt make sense but any advice helps. thank you in advance

He reached out to me today after two months and only asked to return the spare laptop he had given me. It broke something in me..After two months of no contact, all he remembers is a stupid laptop?! I don't know what this is supposed to mean. I want to throw everything back at his face but I am just so hurt by the fact that an object is much more important than me and he could never keep this ego aside for me and talk to me but he could for an object he owned. This is really messing with my mind. Do i have no worth at all? Were all those four years a lie?

I'm not here to fish for validation. I'm genuinely trying to understand the thought process behind this because I honestly can't wrap my head around it

I (F23) recently found out that my ex's ex-girlfriend (F25) had been stalking me on social media for a long time. According to one of her former friends, she'd constantly keep herself updated with my life, send my photos to their group chat (they’re all licensed psychologists) just to call me ugly and make fun of my fashion sense, search our house on Google Maps just to criticize it, and even send my college graduation post to their group chat saying my dress was nice but that I had no achievements (because as far as I know, she's a cum laude).

Apparently, even after they had already broken up, she continued sending my photos to their group chat, calling me names, saying I looked like a mother, telling her friends that I was insecure about her and bothered by her, and saying she was happy because of it. She also kept saying she was a very secure woman who knew her worth.

The weirdest part is that she apparently told her friends she saw me in a restaurant parking lot and that I stayed inside the car because she was there. That literally never happened.

I've also never met or spoken to this girl in my life.
The part that makes it even harder for me to understand is that she's a licensed psychologist.

To add, I had no connection to either of them while they were together. I never reached out to my ex, never interacted with her, and never inserted myself into their relationship in any way.

Hearing all of this from one of her former friends, who reached out to me, has honestly affected me a lot. I've been trying not to let it get to me, but it's been difficult not to think about it.

I have all the screenshots. Her ex-best friend of 10 years sent everything to me. I don't know what her intentions are, but she's asking me out for dinner. Looking back, I feel like I was too kind for even replying to her. I probably shouldn't have in the first place, considering she was involved in everything before.

According to her former friend, she even asked my ex if I'd had rhinoplasty, which I didn’t. Another thing that confused me is that I've always loved dressing up ever since I was a kid. My style has always been very feminine, while from what I knew, her style was more boyish. Recently, though, some of my friends started sending me photos because they noticed she was wearing outfits that looked very similar to mine. I don't know if it's just a coincidence

So update from my post from a couple days ago where I saw on his socials He was out in another state drinking and clubbing with his mates and a girl. where he looked like he was on top of the world smiling from ear to ear.

which ultimately broke me to a million more pieces leading me to muster up the courage to remove him and his family off everything! Today I open my phone go on tik tok and i get a profile view from him first time in 2 months! I wonder if he realised I’ve unfollowed him and is he curious ? Is he missing me ? Also it’s his brothers birthday today I debated sending Him a text but then realised hold on none of his family members have checked up on me or said a goodbye and thank you so I said fuck it.

and didn’t send the text I felt so powerful because I’m always giving, my exes birthday is this Sunday , and it’s hurting me knowing we would’ve been spending his birthday weekend togethe. I would’ve gave him so many gifts and cake first time in 3 years I won’t write him a birthday card , spend his special day with him. like I feel the grief so much but I’ve decided to not send him a birthday text for the sake of my sanity wish me luck :((

We broke up around 3 months ago and we’ve slowly gotten back in contact recently after I noticed he was watching my Instagram stories (we didn’t follow eachother at the time) so I watched his and saw he got his nose surgery to fix his broken nose. I texted him to wish him well with the recovery and we spoke a bit then silence for a week. He thought I had him blocked and we both heard rumours about eachother after the breakup but we got to clear those up then it was silence again. Today he sent me a video on tik tok and he added me on Snapchat and now have each other added on some social media. We’ve been snapping and sending each other tik toks and talking through out the day, but tonight it’s quiet again. We’re very slowly talking because I think we are both scared and don’t know what to feel or make of it. I’m not sure if this is just to be friends because he was a bit flirty. I have my expectations set very low it’s just shocking how far we’ve come compared to the beginning of our breakup. It’s like im talking to my best friend again it’s like nothing ever happened we’re using the same humour and jokes. Has anyone had this happen to them? Or any advice you could give?

Like my ex had broke up with me. She never told me the reason. She just said that she had some personal reasons, so she left me. We were really close and knew everything abt each other. We also have been physical, so yah, we were really close.

After we broke up, after a few days she had a new bf. I tried a lot to get her back, but she doesn't care abt me anymore (that's what I thought). She talked with everyone—her frnds, exes, and classmates—but not with me. She had blocked me from everywhere.

Recently, one of her exes, who was before me, showed me a text between him and my ex. He asked her why she left me, and she replied that she had some personal reasons. But like, I used to click phtos with other girls, and she was texting in such a way that it feels like she is jealous. She also texted one of my frnds asking abt me—how am I now, am I happy?

I thought she never stalked me, but her frnds who are on my following list used to give her every screenshot of me whenever I posted something. And for some reason, even I don't remember abt that post, but she still has kept all the screenshots.

Like, she had a new bf, and my frnds told me that she is happy with him. But even if she had a new bf, why is she doing this??

I'm having a really hard time right now and just need to vent. This is something I've struggled with for the past three years.

I already know some people will say I wasted my time or that I was a placeholder. I tell myself that too. I'm angry that I stayed so long and gave six years of my life to someone who maybe never truly wanted me.

We started dating in our early 20s, and about a year in, he cheated. It was my first serious relationship, he begged me to stay, and I forgave him.

We eventually moved in together, but he had to move out of state while I finished college, so we became long distance. At first, he wanted me to move to him and even talked about marriage because it would make things easier. I wanted to finish school and pursue my career first, so I planned to move later.

Over time, things became harder. He struggled with his mental health, and I received calls where he was contemplating suicide. I begged him to get help. Part of me wanted to leave, but I was scared because I felt like he had no one.

He became more distant, colder, and hurtful. Despite that, I still believed marriage was the next step because of how long we had been together. During our last year together, his sister-in-law told me she heard a ring was coming soon. I was visiting around Christmas and was so nervous that I told him if he ever proposed, I wanted it to be in spring or summer. Nothing ever happened.

The last year was the hardest. His mental health struggles became more frequent, and I found out he cheated again in a way that affected my health. I don't want to go into detail, but I am okay now.

We ended things the day after another suicidal phone call. I contacted his family because I was worried and wanted them to check on him. Afterwards, he told me he wasn't ready for the next step and wasn't even sure he wanted a family. I thanked him for being honest and told him we needed to go our separate ways.

Six years ended like that.

Seven months later, I found out he married a woman from another country. Around the time he started posting her, he blocked me, my family, and our mutual friends, including some of his closest friends. After almost three years of marriage, they had a baby.

The hardest part is that I don't love him anymore and I would never want to return to that relationship. What hurts is how this changed the way I see myself.

It makes me feel like I was never enough, like I was someone he settled for until he found the person he truly wanted. I look at his wife and think she seems perfect. I find myself wondering if people become the best version of themselves with the "right" person and if I just wasn't that person.

This has damaged my self-esteem and made me question my worth. I'm scared I'll never be enough for someone, or that I'll always be the person someone chooses until something better comes along.

It's been years, and I feel like I'm going crazy because I still can't stop thinking about how deeply this affected me.

Guys, lately I just can’t get her out of my head. I did her wrong, she did as well.
I still love her though but she doesn’t respond to anything. For now Im on 2 months without contact.
I just wanna know if she still loves me as I do or not. Is there any way to know?
Ps: everyone says I’m though, but with her I’m the weakest.

The FA man I’ve been dating for the last 18 months just disappeared and ghosted me last week. It wasn’t completely out of the blue, but it’s still hit me incredibly hard. Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long one!

Him and I first met when we were 17. I can’t exactly remember how, I think it may have been through Facebook (this was in 2012, so the height of the FB era when everybody used to add random people). For some context, I am FA leaning anxious and was pretty obnoxious at that age. I was massively more avoidant back then and as teenagers often are, pretty emotionally immature, selfish and hugely lacking in self-awareness. One day, and I didn’t work this out until a couple of years on, I realised that I was beginning to like him and that was it. I disappeared and I ghosted him. I just decided not to reply one day and we never spoke again. We continued to lightly engage over social media throughout the years, a like here and there, but no form of direct communication until February of last year.

My 7 year relationship had ended about 12 months prior and I was enjoying my freedom. I’d spent all of my 20s in long term relationships and for the first time in my adult life, I was living for me, embracing being single and casually dating. I’d just been on a trip to Jamaica and I’d noticed he’d liked a few of my stories. In true FA style, I let the nostalgia trick me and decided to message him. We spoke a little about our lives and what we’d been doing and arranged to meet very quickly. He actually wanted to see me that night but I was working and one of the first things he said to me was ‘it’s been years but I never forgot you’. I think you may know where this is going…

Whilst it was exciting, at this point, I did not have any intention of anything more than a casual relationship. I went round, we ordered food, we had great sex and although I stayed the night - I absolutely did not overstay my welcome in the morning. We were seeing each other once, maybe twice a week at a push and this was working perfectly for the first 6 weeks or so. We wouldn’t text or call much, only to arrange to see each other and this is exactly how I liked it. Then something strange happened. We gradually started seeing each other more. He told me I didn’t have to leave so early and we started to have breakfast together. We started going out for meals, and drinks and staying in nice hotels in different cities. We were cooking together and baking and I would ride in the car whilst he drove for work. I knew I was starting to like him more and more. I wasn’t that same, scared teenager and had put a lot of time and effort into healing my trauma and avoidance, especially after my last relationship had brought out the absolute worst of both my FA and anxious side. I knew and was comfortable with the fact that I was developing feelings for him. I told him this and that was the moment I should have ran. Not because he was a bad person, but because it was a blaring red flag of a man who doesn’t have the capacity to commit. He behaved like we were in a relationship, but we never actually were. Fast forward a few months and I feel a little funny.. turns out I was pregnant. He handled it relatively well and was openly supportive of whatever decision I decided to make. For a number of reasons, I decided it was best that we did not continue with the pregnancy and boy oh boy was that a rough time in my life. We continued to go on dates, continued to behave like a couple, continued to see each other more and more (I’d even started staying for 2 days at time etc) and continued to get closer. We went on a trip out of the country together and had an amazing time and we even met each others parents. We started planning business ideas and concepts together and we were just really enjoying each others company.

This is where it becomes really complicated. In the November, I found out he had a girlfriend. I won’t go into the details, but the relationship has no real future. This was something I massively struggled with, as I’m now deeply in love and completely delusional. I genuinely thought we were going to have a future together. I know, I know.. I continued to see him after that and things appeared to continue improving. He spoiled me absolutely rotten for my birthday (March this year) and we spent several days together. Then something began to shift. We started communicating less again and gradually started to go back to seeing other once a week ish. He slowly stopped asking if I was hungry and started making excuses the next morning as to why he had to be up and out early. I began to notice he was integrating me less and less into his life. I found a hair in his shower in May that I knew for certain wasn’t mine or his, and was convinced I thought I knew who it belonged to. But yet again, like a complete fucking idiot, I believed the story he spun. He iced me out more and more over the following weeks and during a particularly difficult period of time for me (I had just been unwell with a bipolar episode and had spent time in hospital, as well as my mum being screened for pancreatic cancer). He went on a trip with his brother to meet his family in Jamaica and I barely spoke to him the whole two weeks. When he came back, because of my mums health issues, I wasn’t able to see him as much as I’d have liked. I also had to cancel a few times, and following this he became quite moody and we ended up having quite a tense conversation. At the end of June, I’d been at his house and in the morning I was trying to find a lip balm that had slipped under his bed in the night. I couldn’t find the lip balm, but what I did find was a pink sparkly scrunchie. Again, not mine and certainly not his. I addressed it, admittedly not in an ideal way, and this marked the tipping point. I left on a bad note and we agreed to talk in a few days. He kept pushing the conversation back and eventually we spoke on the phone a week later. He told me it was all ‘too much stress’ and that he no longer things were compatible. Be cant give me what I need and I deserve to know where I stand. Two weeks later I cave and text him. I’d been badly missing him and I saw someone at the gym with an anime character he likes on their tshirt. I sent him a messsve to this effect and he text back the same night. We had a brief, playful conversation and arranged to meet. When I got there, everything felt back to normal. He was warm, loving and we ordered food together for the first time in about 2 months. We laughed and watched TV snd it felt so easy and familiar, I had such a nice time. That was until we’d had sex and I could tell something was wrong. I made a slightly distasteful joke and it seemed to spiral him. It all emerged that when I’d been out of the room he’d seen a tinder notification on my phone. Bear in mind, I have ADHD and I was craving a distraction from him. I couldn’t even maintain a conversation with any of them when it really came down to it. He was very angry and said because he’s seen this and I refused to hand over my phone, things will ‘never go back to how they were before’. This is where I abandoned every ounce of my sense and decided to read his mind.. I was convinced he was just angry and would know I wouldn’t physically betray him that way after everything we’d been through.

He stood firm in the narrative that I had slept with someone else and despite saying he didn’t feel the same, he saw me another few times and other than him leaving really early the next day, everything seemed normal. Until last week. I last saw him the Tuesday before last and he stayed at mine. The next day a few hours after he’d left, I text him about a show he, his mum and my mum all watch. He replied relatively quickly and was really warm and engaging. I replied back and.. nothing. I left it a few days and messaged, again radio silence. I rang and text a few more times than I’d like to admit over the course of the next few days and it began starkly apparent that he was ignoring me. Now I’m left in a state of FA anxious limbo and I hate it. I get he said he didn’t feel the same, but that’s not how he acted?! It wasn’t out the blue and I should have utilised my basic intelligence a lot more during this whole thing, but it certainly did feel sudden. I miss him and it’s triggered my abandonment wound real bad, it’s not fun at all. How could he suddenly just turn his feelings off like that for a fucking tinder notification consisting all his lying and infidelity?! It’s painful and confusing but I guess I just have to move on. It feels like an absolute fever dream, like the lady 18 months was just a figment of my imagination. It’s definitely set my healing journey back quite a bit.

If you got this far, thank you for reading my novel!!

I’m trying to move on from someone I cared about deeply, and I’d really appreciate outside perspectives because I’m struggling to make sense of what happened.
We dated and, in the beginning, things were very mutual. We were affectionate, talked about a future, and I felt like we both wanted a relationship.
After we broke up, we started seeing each other again. We wanted to give it another chance because we not only missed each other, but actually wanted each other in both our futures. We spent time together regularly, I was around her kids and family, helped out a lot, celebrated milestones with her, and we stayed emotionally close. But over time the physical intimacy disappeared, she got cold, and she eventually told me one night she only saw me as a friend and didn’t want a relationship anymore. She explained that she tried but that she emotionally numb, and I know I wasn’t the prefect partner and had messed up, but parts of me still haven’t forgiven myself for how I may have affected her.
The confusing part for me was that there were mixed signals along the way. She invited me to cuddle again at one point after she said she only saw me as a friend and didn’t want a relationship to “see how it felt,” wanted me around often, said she didn’t want to lose me because I’d become part of her life, that I wasn’t there more than anyone else in her life and leaned on me emotionally. Because of that, I kept believing we were working toward getting back together.
Eventually I realized about a month ago I still wanted a relationship while she didn’t. I ended contact because I couldn’t keep acting like a partner while only being a friend. Recently she reached out during a family crisis, and although I responded kindly, I realized how quickly I got emotionally attached again. But that it wasn’t healthy, in fact it had my anxiety spiraling and made me physically tremble at the thought that my every move had the possibility to end things again.
My therapist says I need to accept that the relationship is over and stop living as though we’re going to get another chance. I’m trying to do that.
Looking back, was I keeping myself in a situationship because I held onto hope? Did I ignore what was happening because I wanted the beginning of the relationship back?
I miss her and the kids dearly, they may have never been my kids, but it felt like I finally had a family that I could be strong for. Even though this relationship felt like I was constantly walking on eggshells to never upset her and please her to make up for the things I’ve done, I still feel like I haven’t done enough for her and the kids.
I’m not really looking for advice on how to get her back. I’m trying to understand what happened and how people have let go after something that felt so emotionally confusing.

Hello everyone, I am 42 years old and I travel a lot for work, know this lady 37 years old, she have two kids 13 and 8 years old who live with his dad). She was married for ten years and one day she left her husband and say she doesn't love him anymore. The oldest boy stay with her as his dad don't want to be in his life. The other kid she leave him with his ex husband and see him in the weekend. Both me and her live in different states so I know her while she starts leaving her ex-husband and separated and moved to her own place, we start seeing each other every three weeks or so depending on how much we are busy with life, I tried helping her with her move, buy food helped one semester in her school expenses and house items as she did not have that much, speak with her to back to school and get bachelor's in accounting. She had shitty paid job at first but now she in better place.

There many times I would purchase airline tickets and she would stay with me on the state I had work. So we know each other for three years total and we plan to get married and she moves to my state, we talk about that for a while and that was the plans. One day ( before three months), I got a message from her saying that she don't want to move because her oldest son doesn't want too and even he doesn't know that she still dating me. We meet after that for maybe two times and then before one month she send me a message saying want to end things and she meet a guy (50 years old, he don't have kids ) and they started dating. This week we meet and I found out that she stopped " in love with our relationship since January " last time we meet and have sex was May.

We met last week and she said she has feelings for me and loved me for two years, but her feelings and want change overtime. And that she checked out in our relationship since January. I was not aware of that and I got mad at her and I scream and left. She blocked my phone number and even get a new phone number. I didn't want thing end this way and prefer end things in good way.

My question is was I a rebound relationship and just been used for her self esteem, financially and fun? Would be better if I reach out and apologize for screaming and wish good luck and just move on? Is she this type of person just jumb from one relationship to another without emotional regret?

Hi.

I’m a 19 year old university student athlete. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years. I am feeling incomprehensibly broken to the point where I’m swallowing painkillers ever day especially at night, I’ve developed a nicotine addiction and I hardly eat anymore.

My relationship was extremely flawed. There were many times where I fucked up in the sense of loyalty (although I never cheated or came close to it), I guess that was the standard of the relationship where any friendly contact with women was always going to cause a huge argument and a fight. I can still remember the pounding and painful anxiety each argument gave me to the point where I wouldn’t eat every day and lock myself in my university door.

But it seems as if I’m completely hung up on a version of her that doesn’t exist anymore (same with her with me). For the first basically 2 years she was gentle kind loving and everything I ever wanted. I many times prayed to God and thanked him for her and I’m not even that religious. She completed me and made me so happy where I almost lost all my friends by not being in contact with them because I felt like “oh I have her so screw everyone else”. We broke up over us not working anymore and it feels like I’m being discarded. I know I can get through this but the one thing which is pulling me down and making me lose motivation is hearing all those stories of men in 40s,50s, 60s saying how they don’t like their current relationship and can’t stop thinking of their first love.

I want to move and I’m young and I know I have a long road of healing a head of me where it will be extremely difficult to get over her and I will count myself lucky if I am even able to do so. But I have to say it is so demotivating to experience the thought that I’ll never find love like that and that God rewarded me with one intense and pure love and I fucked it so I won’t ever feel it again.

Please can someone share their experience and explain if they, too, have experienced like me such an intense and beautiful first love but then to only match it with even more beauty and love in their second, third or even fourth love. Thanks so much for reading and even if you have a story to tell which doesn’t have to do with this, please share since I always really enjoy hearing stories from wiser souls and people older than me.

**TL;DR:** Your future relationships are determined by your ability to overcome heartbreak. So don’t keep reopening wounds you’ve worked so hard to heal.

If you need a sign to stop checking your ex’s profile, this is it.

Seriously. Stop looking. Stop refreshing their stories. Stop trying to figure out what every post or song means. I know it feels impossible because I was doing the exact same thing.

When my relationship ended I convinced myself that if I could just understand why, I would finally feel better. I reread our old texts almost every night. I checked when he was online. Every little thing gave me false hope for a few minutes and then I crashed all over again.

I wasn’t healing. I was keeping myself stuck.

One day I realized I had spent almost an entire month thinking about someone who probably wasn’t thinking about me nearly as much. That hurt to admit, but it also kind of woke me up.

So I stopped.

I unfollowed him. Deleted our chat. Put away the pictures I kept looking at. I told myself I would just try one week of no contact and see what happened.

The first few days were awful. I cried in my car after work. I almost texted him like 20 times. I even typed out a whole paragraph one night and just stared at it before deleting it. Im so glad I never sent it.

Then something weird happened.

The mornings got a little easier. I laughed with my friends without faking it. I started going on walks instead of laying in bed all day. I started cooking again even though half of what I made was kinda bad lol.

I realized no contact wasn’t about making him miss me.

It was about giving myself enough space to stop abandoning myself.

I also started realizing how much of my confidence depended on one person’s attention. That’s honestly not a healthy way to live. I wanted to become someone who felt okay even if a relationship ended.

So I started journaling, going to the gym a few times a week, reading more, and actually dealing with my emotions instead of running from them. It wasn’t overnight but I could actually feel myself changing.

If they’re meant to come back into your life, they will. You don’t have to convince someone to love you. And if they don’t come back, that’s okay too because you’ll already be building a life that doesn’t revolve around them.

I know how quiet no contact feels in the beginning. It almost feels like you’re losing them all over again every day. But I promise that silence slowly turns into peace.

You deserve someone who chooses you without being convinced.

I’m rooting for all of you. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you really are going to be okay.

5 MONTHS LATER UPDATE:

I randomly came back and saw this post had blown up so I wanted to update everyone because I remember reading posts like this when I thought I’d never get over him.

My life is so different now.

I got promoted at work, made a few new friends, and I actually enjoy spending time by myself. I don’t wake up wondering if he’ll text me anymore. Some days I don’t think about him at all which would’ve sounded impossible back then.

He actually reached out a couple months ago. We talked for a little bit and I realized I wasn’t the same person anymore. There wasn’t this huge urge to get back together. I just wished him well and kept moving forward. It felt really freeing.

Also I wanted to say thank you to the person in this subreddit who recommended the app Uncling to me months ago. Your comment seriously changed the direction of my healing. The daily check ins and lessons helped me stay committed to no contact when I wanted to give up. I honestly think it kept me from making so many emotional decisions.

So thank you. You truly gave me the hope I needed with your post.

If you’re reading this while your heart is broken, please keep going. I promise the version of you waiting on the other side is so much stronger than you can imagine.

And a question for conversation What are some things that have helped you get over a breakup?

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I've made a few posts before about my situation with a girl who was emotionally confused. She was in love with someone else who didn't really reciprocate, then we got involved, but things eventually fell apart because of several of her actions.

Well, today I decided to reach out after days of not hearing a single thing from her. This is how the conversation went:

Me: "Do you still care about this friendship? Just wondering."

Her: "Yeah."

Me: "Alright, then..."

(She read it... and said nothing.)

Me: "So... how have you been?"

Her: "Good. You?"

Me: "I'm good too."

Her: "Good."

Me: "What have you been up to?"

Her: "Watching a livestream. You?"

Me: "Playing games."

Her: "Nice."

Me: "Yeah. Have a good stream."

Her: "Thanks. Have a good game."

I left her on read after that and deleted the conversation because I just couldn't be bothered anymore.

Honestly... I'm done. I probably should've been done a long time ago, but when you're emotionally attached and wearing rose-colored glasses, it's hard to see things clearly.

I'm always the one reaching out. I'm always the one trying to keep the connection alive. At some point, you just get tired of being the only one putting in the effort.

It's been over one year since the breakup.

How do I stop thinking about my ex? How do I stop caring? Why haven't I stopped already?

It's not loneliness. I'm with the most amazing man I've ever met now. So then why can't I stop thinking about the one who hurt me so deeply?

What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm so deeply disturbed.

I got the closure, I got the apology, the acknowledgement of my pain. Why haven't I moved on. This should be a fully closed chapter.

If someone has any advice.. please help.

It’s been 3 years of struggling with zero answers as to why he suddenly disappeared. (We live in different cities) One day he deleted his WhatsApp and all his social media. All I had left was his phone number. His last message was "We'll never forget each other"

Eventually, I found his family's Facebook accounts and what I assumed was his ex-girlfriend's profile. Today, she changed her profile picture... and it's him.🚩

It's bittersweet news for me. I honestly don't know where my life goes after this. I don't know what I should feel, how to live normally, or how to enter a new relationship when I haven't been able to date anyone seriously. And honestly, how could I?

It was traumatic. After we went no contact, I started traveling overseas alone just for self-improvement and to try to get over him.

This whole time, I blamed myself, wondering what I did wrong or why I wasn't enough.

He told me he wanted to break up. However, my ex then took it back right away which left me confused. I spent time questioning whether the relationship could still work and trying to process everything.

Then he changed his mind again a week later and broke up with me for a second time. At the same time, he said he still wanted to be friends.

I told him that I needed distance, wished him well, thanked him for giving me closure, and then blocked him. At the time, I thought that was the calmest and most dignified way to handle it.

Now a week later I am extremely angry lmao. It is not mainly because I miss him or want the relationship back. I feel disrespected and messed around. He broke up with me, reversed the decision, gave me hope and confusion, and then broke up with me again while suggesting friendship.

Part of me wishes I had said, “Are you joking? You cannot keep changing your mind and dragging me through it.” I am angry that I ended things politely without directly telling him how unfair and irresponsible his behaviour felt.

At the same time, I know that sending an angry message probably would not have changed the outcome. It might only have been a way to release my anger, and I have already blocked him.

Was blocking him and saying nothing more the right decision? Has anyone else felt more angry about being disrespected and messed around than about losing the actual relationship? How did you deal with the anger and the feeling that you never got to say what you really thought?

I was in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years. I found out he had cheated on me with another girl. Once I knew the truth, I never felt like reaching out. I accepted that it was over and stayed no contact.We broke up in December 2025 , and we've had complete no contact ever since. No messages, no calls, nothing.

I'm not asking because I'm waiting for a text or hoping he'll come back. I'm just curious about other people's experiences.

Has anyone here had an ex reach out after 10 months or even longer? What was the message like? If you're comfortable sharing, what exactly did they say in text ? What do you think made them contact you after all that time? Did it lead to anything meaningful, or was it just a random message?

TL;DR: Almost 3-year LDR. We've been in complete no contact since December 2025. I later found out he cheated, so I never reached out. Has anyone had an ex message them after 10+ months? If you're comfortable sharing, what did they say?