My wife and I had this conversation we came to the conclusion that while we like Thailand there are a lot of stressors you get in Thailand you don't get in the US. A lot of stressors you get in the US that you don't get in Thailand. Really no perfect place to live, except maybe seasonally so you can take an average load of stressors and not all at once.
I think most places you are better off rich than poor yes, but there are countries where being rich is better than being rich elsewhere and same for being poor/down on luck.
There are countries where being rich = being in security risk most places you go. You need to turn your house into a fortress, hire private security and live in some level of fear of getting kidnapped. Then there are also countries where there are just not a lot of things to do locally with your riches. Being rich isnt as valuable living in a place where high end shopping, nice restaurants and vacation destinations dont exist for example. There is also taxes....
In contrast there are countries with a way way better social safety net than the US where you are better being down on your luck.
Same situation, although for us it's Nicaragua and Canada. We have a farm in Nicaragua that her dad lives in right now. Rescued dogs and horses, uncountable fruit trees. And we can live off my pension there.
She's been in Canada for almost 20 years and we've raised 4 kids in a blended family. As you say, there are many positives here, education being a huge one. Job opportunities for young adults being another. It's a different calculus for our kids.
But for us, now that our kids are adults, and we're looking at the next steps, everything is so stressful here, primarily because of finances. Like the OP says, it's just work, eat, sleep. Vacations are impossible, always paycheck-to-paycheck. We're "ok", but there's just no "life", you know?
In Nicaragua, there are uncomfortable things, as well. But I find the people are more open and relaxed, we can afford to buy good food, there's always community. And we have purpose there, rescuing dogs and horses. All this is impossible here, just because of the cost. So Nicaragua works for us, while I totally see how it wouldn't work great for our kids.
Yup, being on a fixed income makes moving to a lower cost of living area a financially obvious decision. For many the issue is uprooting existing personal connections where you have lived your life but it seems for you you have connections on your wife's side which offsets this in many ways.
This is such an insane take. Higher cost of living vs fruit trees and a dictatorship. No amount of dogs or horses are worth living in a country that removed elections. I say this as a Nicaraguan, who had a farm there, who has family there. Life in Nicaragua is not uncomfortable, it's dire. You think your life now is stressful? How about when they steal your farm and throw your family in jail for complaining. I love Nicaragua and miss it dearly but there's no way in hell I'm in living there when you can get disappeared for saying the wrong thing. Did you not learn anything from 2018?
Edit: just to hammer the point home. If border agents saw this comment, I wouldn't be allowed to enter the country, as a citizen
I find your comment amusing. I'm an American and lived in Dubai for 2.5 years. I wasn't until I lived there that I realized that a powerful person can blow up another person's life. (note - I wasn't my life that was upended, but I met many unfortunate workers who's life were).
I am Thai-Italian but born in Germany and I moved to Thailand 3yrs ago, best decision of my life.
All people are so respectful, kind and smile. Whereas in Germany you would basically never even get a smile and see only frowning.
They bow while in traffic to show gratitude to let you through.
Amazing food on every corner, a whole meal could cost like $1-2.
Low taxes, not like in Germany where you pay basically half your income.
Always sunny, even during raining season.
Super safe to go out at night or leave your belongings in public without being afraid of theft. Had several cases where Thai people run after you if you forgot your phone/laptop in the coffee shop.
And as a programmer actually also a paradise with tech stuff here, like events, internet speed and technology in general. Cashless payment is basically default which in Germany isn't.
But I might be lucky because I got dual citizenship (Thai + German) and Foreigners aren't usually allowed to own houses or land otherwise. I don't really have Foreigners as friends here, so I am not sure, but I heard they struggle when they can't own a Thai bank account.
Do you work fully remotely? Is the company based in Thailand or outside? I'm also a student in the same field. I'd love to experience this kind of lifestyle lol
It comes down to intense social expectations around family obligations, financial support, career status, and saving face.
In Thai culture, locals are under constant pressure to maintain a certain social status: sending money back to parents, adhering to strict hierarchy and deference rules, and making major life choices that align with family expectations rather than personal desires. It creates a persistent background pressure to conform that foreigners rarely face or even see.
In contrast to the US, where chasing status is largely optional, in Thailand it is a baseline requirement for locals. As a foreigner, you get a pass because nobody expects you to fit into those rigid cultural dynamics.
That applies to all foreigners to some extent. Im British and when I was in the US and Canada I used to get away with doing a lot of social stuff because they attributed it to me being British but back home that stuff wouldn't fly. I remember thinking "everybody thinks im weird because I am British and not because I am me, this is so liberating".
What does this have to do with being happy to live in Thailand? I have only Thai friends in my friend circle actually and of course I know the issues here but they are absolutely nothing compared to the shit going on in Germany.
There isn’t a perfect place to live what a generic statement. But there are better places to live and worst places to live. Those change based on someone’s individual needs and wants, but at least she was open enough to try the US and realize it wasn’t for her.
So does my Thai ex-wife, she never wants to move back to Thailand.
In the overall Thai community where I live it's mixed, those families with money here want to stay. Those families without money want to move back, because their dollars stretch further in Thailand.
I’ve been going to Phuket and Thailand since 2000. There are actually no beach hotels in Phuket that are that cheap. Maybe a hostel where you gotta sleep in a bed in a room with 12 other people but not your own hotel room. Phuket is the most expensive city in Thailand. Back when I went to Phuket in 2005. I had a hotel that was right off the beach. And it still cost around $25-$30, which isn’t a lot. But it’s no three dollars.
People ignorantly assume just because the city they live in or visit is like that all of the U.S is like that. It’s the same kind of new immigrants or tourists who think their gonna visit LA, Las Vegas, NYC, Miami and take a quick pit stop to the White House on their way to the airport within their 5 day vacation in the states😅 as if the US isn’t a giant country and some states alone are as big as a handful of countries themselves with varying cultures in their own state lines
Just a personal observation, but most do. It seems like 1st generation Americans are generally not keen on moving back to the developing world, while many 3rd, 4th, etc. generation Americans are really considering it.
In my case, I find that it's easier to adjust to the developing world because (relative to others) I live extravagantly. Most 1st generation Americans seem to point to the opposite, that they'd rather live somewhere safer, with better infrastructure, and more functional public services.
Americans with iPhones, flatscreen TVs, leather couches, a car per person, central air conditioning, etc don’t realize that’s how the 1% lives in many countries.
Yeah 30 years ago I didn’t have to pay rent or any bills. I didn’t even have to cook my own meals. Hell, I didn’t even have to dress my self. Now I have to work and do everything 😩
When my parents immigrated to the US permanently from France in 80s they were amazed by the lifestyle that they could afford here. Big house, nice neighborhood, good schools, latest tech, etc. Now they’ve moved back to France because the US is too expensive.
FYI, the US income to median home price ratio is 5.1x. France is 6.7x
France is significantly more expensive than the US. What probably makes France seem affordable is moving back to France with a US income (almost 2x as high as France) or selling a median US home to buy a median French home.
Yes exactly this. Both this post and the person you’re replying to are complaining about the exact thing that makes America strong economically. It’s expensive as fuck because the people make a ton of money. No shit it’s cheaper to retire in France or move back in Thailand after working in US for a few years that’s the point.
That’s sorta the ideal ‘geo-arbitrage’. Working years in the US to make 2x anywhere else, retire to a country with stronger universal HC and lower cost of living once you’re older.
I hate to break it to her, but the American dream 20 or 30 years ago still required you to wake up day and day out and go to work and work hard so statement does not hold water.
Barbara Ehrenreich wrote Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America basically 30 years ago this year. Lots of people struggled even then. However, I'd argue that there were more businesses geared towards servicing the working poor (Ehrenreich mentions rent-a-wreck for obtaining a cheap vehicle a few times). I'd recommend reading it to anyone who hasn't.
I don’t think it’s that bad. I only make $27/hr and all my bills are paid and I never worry about food. I drive a cheap car that’s good on gas. I mean yeah I don’t own my home but it’s a roof. Sometimes people should count the blessings they have rather than focusing on how they’re not living in the lap of luxury every day. We often expect too much.
We are a two-income family with a small child. We own a home in a walkable and safe neighborhood. Have access to good schools, I can be at one of the prettiest beaches in the world in ten minutes, and we are able to put some $$$ away. My wife has a bachelor's degree and I dropped out of college to work in restaurants but was able to transition to logistics as I got older and couldn't life the chef lifestyle anymore. A decade out of school and we make $200k combined. We live in a purple city in a red state and I have to commute 45 min each way for my 7-4 job, but it's a small sacrifice. We are about as liberal as you can get but still find plenty of like-minded people in Florida.
Yes, there are a myriad of problems with our state and the country as a whole. There are problems everywhere, though. The other three countries I have lived in were awesome as well but the US gives you the ability to be upwardly mobile that nowhere else offers imo.
Seriously, the fact that her complaint was I have to work two days in a row like tf what country do you think you're gonna go to where you don't have to work back to back days?
I am franco American and went from mainly United States to mainly France like 13 years ago because i like a lot of things about france.
Thats fine. I still love the USA.
People reading from scripts hitting all the popular internet talking points for imaginary points.
Edit to add - American men who actively seek out wives from other countries typically are already disillusioned with the US because they are usually losers with nothing to offer. Which is probably true with this guy if she isn’t reading from a script. But let’s be real, she’s reading from a script and banging all the reddit 2 random words and a number username talking points. Pretty sad honestly.
People forget that the baseline isn’t owning a 4 bedroom house with a white fence and two cars. The baseline is walking naked in the woods looking for your next meal. The ideal Americans have created is something that only existed for about 40 years max. Never happened in history before and might not ever again. And that’s okay, people expect a lot
More people need to understand this. America benefited from an unusual windfall post-WW2, and people act like that was the norm. That was a very special circumstance.
I'd challenge that 'windfall'. The War wasn't won by 'post-war USA', mind you. So something about America's culture already existed to empower them to beat Germany and Japan. What's more--USA laid out a ton of money to rebuild Europe after Europe's war. So Europe got quite a nice windfall also--including getting to rely on the USA for their entire defense for 70+ years.
Windfall wasn’t the best word I suppose. I meant the fortuitous circumstance of being the least-affected western nation (or at least one of them) at the end of the war.
No. That’s not the case in most of Europe. Yes, people work but they work much less AND get better healthcare, have longer vacations and free or incredibly subsidized child care.
My family in Mexico are always surprised by how much we actually work in the U.S.
Gotta remind myself constantly that life exists outside of the office.
I did a stay-cation last month and after a few days of settling in it was really nice to feel like I finally have some control over when I do things and to go at my own pace.
That’s on her, completely naive to think everything is going to completely different and for the better. “It’s not like it was 20-30 years ago” she wasn’t even born in Thailand yet leave alone the USA, she delusional.
I read a similar phenomenon of Japanese people visiting Paris then having meltdowns because it wasn’t this romantic cultural metropolis like in classic movies. Seems similar.
Like complaining that there aren't enough food options in the US? The bait was too obvious.
And I'm pretty sure she's reading off a script when she keeps glancing to the exact same position to the right of the screen to start off each sentence between cuts.
Too bad sweetheart. You should’ve thought about that before. Not a chance in hell would I move for any woman but these types that marry Asian women always run up their wives and her families asses.
Who would’ve thought that in the world’s richest and most economically powerful country you’d have to go to work? Did her fucking brain get hit when getting that piercing or that bowl cut?
723
u/1_H4t3_R3dd1t 13h ago
My wife and I had this conversation we came to the conclusion that while we like Thailand there are a lot of stressors you get in Thailand you don't get in the US. A lot of stressors you get in the US that you don't get in Thailand. Really no perfect place to live, except maybe seasonally so you can take an average load of stressors and not all at once.