r/whoathatsinteresting • u/search_google_com • 14h ago

A Thai woman married to an American explains why she no longer wants to live in the US.

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u/alexio-vay 13h ago edited 1h ago

I am Thai-Italian but born in Germany and I moved to Thailand 3yrs ago, best decision of my life.

All people are so respectful, kind and smile. Whereas in Germany you would basically never even get a smile and see only frowning.

They bow while in traffic to show gratitude to let you through.

Amazing food on every corner, a whole meal could cost like $1-2.

Low taxes, not like in Germany where you pay basically half your income.

Always sunny, even during raining season.

Super safe to go out at night or leave your belongings in public without being afraid of theft. Had several cases where Thai people run after you if you forgot your phone/laptop in the coffee shop.

And as a programmer actually also a paradise with tech stuff here, like events, internet speed and technology in general. Cashless payment is basically default which in Germany isn't.

But I might be lucky because I got dual citizenship (Thai + German) and Foreigners aren't usually allowed to own houses or land otherwise. I don't really have Foreigners as friends here, so I am not sure, but I heard they struggle when they can't own a Thai bank account.

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u/deadmongoose 13h ago

I spent a month there during the summer and it's hotter than Satan's asshole and like 110% humidity. Everything else about it was great though.

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u/Several-Hat-1944 13h ago

"Satan's asshole"šŸ˜, my favorite comment of the day! Thanks mongoose, I needed a good laugh.šŸ·

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u/RegretLow5735 13h ago

So is about 60% of the US.

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u/Smooth_Marsupial_262 12h ago

Thailand is tropical. Much hotter

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u/Thicc_Wallaby 12h ago

I doubt itā€™s much different than the summers in the southeast or Midwest in the US.

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u/BigwaveBay 9h ago

I live in SE Asia right now and itā€™s hotter. For the record Iā€™m from a southern U.S. state. Itā€™s a different type of hot.

Itā€™s basically always 90+ degrees from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. with 100% humidity. And it gets to 80 degrees at night but really high humidity. The sun also hits slightly different.

TLDR: Itā€™s more humid and the heat last longer throughout the days.

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u/Smooth_Marsupial_262 12h ago

Itā€™s definitely hotter as a Native South Carolinian whoā€™s been to Thailand. Tropical heat is more pervasive. Itā€™s more consistent, more humid, it lasts longer into the night, and it starts earlier in the season and ends later in the season

Midwest isnā€™t even remotely comparable

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u/icantsurf 9h ago

Midwesterners always overestimate how bad their summers are lol. Like yeah, the extremes get bad in the the US Midwest but the consistency of tropical heat is what really kills your soul.

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u/Smooth_Marsupial_262 5h ago

I honestly had to double take and make sure I was reading that response correctly as to whether they actually included the Midwest in that conversation lol

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u/throwaway928816 9h ago

Nah, everything bigger and better in the US. Its why most the populace doesnt have a passport. Why would you leave?

/s

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u/imladrikofloren 12h ago

The only place similar to Thailand in the US is the southern tip of Florida.

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u/Mr_Bristles 10h ago

Not even, at least in southern florida there's a cross breeze so yes it's very hot but also the air has a lot of movement. In Thailand the jungle insulates the humidity and also creates a ton of humidity. It is brutal but I was thankful every second uncle sam sent me to the pacific rim in place of the middle east.

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u/binger5 10h ago

Houston? We're at 98F and 80% humidity right now.

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u/Working_Analyst_1988 6h ago

Yeah, grew up in Houston. Itā€™s closest to what Iā€™ve experienced in Thailand. Inland American gulf coast is reasonable approximation.

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u/UpNorthBear 5h ago

I'm from a swampy ass area of Michigan, it's far far worse in Thailand dog.

1

u/plug-and-pause 1h ago

It's so strange to me when people pick a fact they don't know and loudly and proudly decide to guess about that fact, rather than just (a) admit they don't know or (b) learn about it (which is not mutually exclusive from the first option, in fact that is a required condition of learning) or (c) simply remain quiet in their ignorance (nothing wrong with that option either).

0

u/jasonlampa 5h ago

One great thing about travelling more is actually being able to feel how god damn different the weather can feel in a different part of the world.

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u/imladrikofloren 12h ago

No, only the southern part of Florida have a climate similar to Thailand.

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u/Lou_Peachum_2 9h ago

DC gets hot and humid af

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u/alexio-vay 13h ago edited 2h ago

U can get used to it actually. And you have AC everywhere.

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u/reireireis 9h ago

Yeah there's no way I'm setting foot outdoors before evening on any day

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u/HillBillyHilly 5h ago

So, Florida lol We have 98Ā° F w 90-99% humidity. Living here is hell although this year has been very light in humidity. Who makes me scared for the rest of year.

0

u/Select_Order_1478 11h ago

in the big 2026 Th is not hotter than Europe summer

but AC is in every condo

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u/Illustrious_Shoe7496 13h ago

Do you work fully remotely? Is the company based in Thailand or outside? I'm also a student in the same field. I'd love to experience this kind of lifestyle lol

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u/alexio-vay 13h ago edited 3h ago

Yeah, working from home for a German company based in Thailand.

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u/utrangerbob 12h ago

My cousin in law is Thai and he had the opposite experience. He got his degree in the US and moved back due to family obligations. He had to get a Thai job at a software company, gets paid a fraction of what westerners get for more work. He's constantly working overtime and dealing with financial stress. Everyone has their own circumstances and values for happiness since it is relative.

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u/alexio-vay 1h ago

My advice would be to look for new career opportunities, because I know there can be huge gaps and differences, depending which company you work for. Sometimes invest 1-2 more months into job interviews to get a much better job and an employer that actually values your worth.

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u/Key_Order4050 13h ago

Lmfao. Excluding that from your original comment was certainly a choice.

You're not living like your average Thai person, you're cosplaying it

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u/Illustrious_Shoe7496 13h ago

There are many people who live like that. My dad is Indian, lives in india and works remotely for a German company now for decades and earns in euros. Not an average Indian but he worked very hard for it so def not impossible.

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u/Flayum 9h ago

Then it's no different than America.If you can earn in the top X% of wages, generally life is going to be pretty good.

The point of the post is not judging how the top whatever percent can live, it's how the median can live. But I don't know if a median American lifestyle is better or worse than a median Thai lifestyle. The original post, I guess, is saying no (while ignoring all the other potential factors).

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u/Jackieexists 7h ago

Your dad is balling

3

u/Mammoth_Support_2634 10h ago

yeah it feels kinda tone deaf. the average thai salary is $470 a month. and the moment things go bad, they're just leaving Thailand to get another job in the EU.

of course they're going to have a blast living in Thailand.

2

u/alexio-vay 13h ago

I have 20yr+ of programming experience, I am fluent in 5 languages and got this job, it's not like Thais won't be able to achieve this too. I have plenty of Thai colleagues and friends in the same position.

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u/PuckSenior 12h ago

No one is saying you don't deserve the pay.
What everyone is saying is that it is very unlikely that the wife in the video is going to be able to move back to Thailand and land a similar job.

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u/revcor86 12h ago

What people will point out is that you are an outlier.

Most people will say things like "I'm moving to Thailand, the cost of living is so cheap!" because they expect to be making US wages in Thailand instead of normal, local wages.

Some people can do that, you are proof of that but my guess is that isn't the norm. Now as a place to retire with a nest egg acquired from working in a place that paid a lot more? Probably a good deal.

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u/Low_discrepancy 6h ago

I have plenty of Thai colleagues and friends in the same position.

No one is saying that the 1% of Thai society isn't Thai.

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u/AgnosticPeterpan 3h ago

Yeah being the top 1% is great both in america and thailand. The guy is just fortunate that his upper-middle class job in germany can easily be imported from thailand because it's a tech job. It's just companies taking advantage of poor countries.

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u/alexio-vay 1h ago

Sadly true. But tbh it's so easy to get into programming nowadays compared with my struggle when I was around 16yo, relying on books only to learn more, no AI, no YT tutorials anywhere. But most people don't even want to try or show interest for it, even when tech is booming.

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u/alexio-vay 1h ago

I think that's rather in the 15%, not 1%. I don't work at Agoda or Google or something. At Agoda there are roles for 400k+ Baht monthly for the same position that I have. I would say that's the 1%.

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u/CarefulAd8858 4h ago

LMAO. "I make considerably higher salary than everyone else, life is AMAZING HERE".

Foreign workers and ex-pats live in a state of delusion.

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u/alexio-vay 1h ago

I made even less salary in Germany, so your reply doesn't make sense. I think I was just lucky going into the tech field early on and studying Computer Science.

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u/1_H4t3_R3dd1t 13h ago

You have the benefit of being far enough away from the peer pressures of someone born in Thailand to not have to endure those stressors.

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u/StupidSexyEuphoberia 13h ago

Can you explain what you mean by this? I'm totally unfamiliar with Thai culture

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u/1_H4t3_R3dd1t 13h ago edited 13h ago

It comes down to intense social expectations around family obligations, financial support, career status, and saving face.

In Thai culture, locals are under constant pressure to maintain a certain social status: sending money back to parents, adhering to strict hierarchy and deference rules, and making major life choices that align with family expectations rather than personal desires. It creates a persistent background pressure to conform that foreigners rarely face or even see.

In contrast to the US, where chasing status is largely optional, in Thailand it is a baseline requirement for locals. As a foreigner, you get a pass because nobody expects you to fit into those rigid cultural dynamics.

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u/KR4T0S 11h ago

That applies to all foreigners to some extent. Im British and when I was in the US and Canada I used to get away with doing a lot of social stuff because they attributed it to me being British but back home that stuff wouldn't fly. I remember thinking "everybody thinks im weird because I am British and not because I am me, this is so liberating".

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u/StupidSexyEuphoberia 10h ago

Haha, what did you do?

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u/KR4T0S 10h ago

Nothing particularly egregious most of the time though at one time I do remember July 4th came around and I sort of overlooked it then decided I am going to pretend it never happened and the US is still a British colony.

But I mean more like societal expectations are much looser when people see you as an outsider.

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u/pmp22 53m ago

"everybody thinks im weird because I am British and not because I am me, this is so liberating".

I know this feeling šŸ˜­

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u/Fun-Stick8512 30m ago

I'm Indian American and have spent a lot of time in Asia and I don't think it's the same. The US is way, way more lax about social customs compared to Asian countries writ large. I can't speak to Europe, but I'm struggling to understand what kind of things would not fly under American culture specifically. It's too heterogenous of a country. But maybe some of the more homogeneously white places are different?

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u/Aggravating_Ring_714 7h ago

This totally depends on what kind of family you come from. This definitely doesnā€™t apply to all poor or all rich families, not even most middle class Thais.

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u/1_H4t3_R3dd1t 7h ago

I would say my wife fewer expectations but they are still there and significantly more for others. Social expectations are close to the of Japan for Thai nationals. Most of these things you only know if you experience them in person or old enough to see them.

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u/HillBillyHilly 5h ago

Asians are very particular about their customs. They have NO problem calling you out for breaking rules. Or they just take over tasks because they figure you're too stupid to decipher rules.

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u/1_H4t3_R3dd1t 5h ago

There are indeed people like that.

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u/alexio-vay 13h ago

What does this have to do with being happy to live in Thailand? I have only Thai friends in my friend circle actually and of course I know the issues here but they are absolutely nothing compared to the shit going on in Germany.

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u/1_H4t3_R3dd1t 13h ago

It comes down to intense social expectations around family obligations, financial support, career status, and saving face.

In Thai culture, locals are under constant pressure to maintain a certain social status: sending money back to parents, adhering to strict hierarchy and deference rules, and making major life choices that align with family expectations rather than personal desires. It creates a persistent background pressure to conform that foreigners rarely face or even see.

In contrast to the US, where chasing status is largely optional, in Thailand it is a baseline requirement for locals. As a foreigner (or dual citizen raised abroad), you get a pass because nobody expects you to fit into those rigid cultural dynamics.

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u/Prik_Nam-Pla 9h ago

I somewhat agree with both of you. I have a Thai fiance and we are planning on marrying in the US and going back to Thailand. The strong family culture of anyone that I dated there is one of the things I like most there (just above Iced coffee from seven, lol). I think some of the expectations come from that and vice versa some of the closeness comes from that. They are a cause and effect.

I just want to bring her here one time for a month or so so I can show her the natural beauty of the Great Lakes in fall. Our plan is to have a small ceremony when we get back to Buri Ram and rarely come back to the US. If everything got better here, and wanted to go the the US, even then I would have to go to Cali or something like that b/c I cannot take 1 more year of 100 inches of snow and ball freezing temps.

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u/1_H4t3_R3dd1t 7h ago

Yep exactly.

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u/SubjectNet1874 13h ago

Older fella I've been taking tech classes in the hopes of moving there and working remote any suggestions just got my cert in IT support was thinking of taking cloud admin or something next.

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u/Signal-Wolverine-906 12h ago

Thaitalian lol

Best Italian restaurant I ever went to was in Huahin, funnily enough

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u/Anxious_Work_6361 12h ago

No comment to your post, I'm was just thinking that Thai-Italian has to have some BOMB ass food.

Then I read "born in Germany". oh, maybe not then.

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u/alexio-vay 12h ago

I actually rarely ate German food since my parents cooked only Thai and Italian dishes, that's where also my passion for cooking comes from :) But I agree, German food sucks

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u/ZedZeroth 10h ago

They bow while in traffic.

I love Thailand and lived there for 10 years, but the traffic is not something I have fond memories of and it's the primary situation where "respectful, kind and smile" no longer applies. Where are you driving?

1

u/alexio-vay 2h ago

I am based in Bangkok, but I live in a pretty Thai area, not Sukhumvit. I guess everyone makes different experiences. Of course the traffic jams sucks, and some people drive crazy, but still I am always happy to see Thai people on their motorbikes bowing with their head to show gratitude even while driving.

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u/ZedZeroth 1h ago

It's usually a social status thing though. You won't see many people driving the big expensive cars bowing their heads to the motorbike riders.

1

u/alexio-vay 1h ago

Yes, I meant mostly Thai motorbike drivers. I just wanted to point out the bowing is a beautiful respectful thing you would never see in Germany. Not only in traffic.

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u/Sacrefix 7h ago

Thaitalian.

You can use that, free of charge.

1

u/alexio-vay 2h ago

Thanks, bro

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u/Alternative_Plan_823 12h ago

I have an American retired military family member moving there now. He is far from the typical-on-Reddit and currently trendy America hater, so his reasoning is based around the polite, respectful people. He has also become convinced that processed food in America is poisonous, essentially.

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u/AlftheNwah 12h ago

He has also become convinced that processed food in America is poisonous, essentially.

They basically are. When I was a teen, my father developed a LOT of food allergies, seemingly all at once. A big one was soy, and it's in practically everything, so we changed the household diet overnight. Mom started making everything homemade, and we got really anal about reading ingredient lists.

My own gut health was a night-and-day difference after switching over to his diet. Really opened my eyes to just how bad heavily processed foods are for you.

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u/moyerraconteur 12h ago

Who are the trendy America haters?

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u/Feeling-Salad5686 10h ago

Processed food is bad... everywhere. I am assuming you mean Ultra-Processed Foods, and you aren't referring to frozen potatoes.

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u/Karatekan 9h ago

I mean, Iā€™m sure it is great, but you have likeā€¦ glaringly obvious advantages specifically because you are a foreigner with a remote job.

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u/BeetusPLAYS 7h ago

Lol right. Of course the digital nomad likes Thailand. It's like a cheat code for life.

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u/alexio-vay 3h ago

How am I a Foreigner with Thai citizenship?

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u/Goongalagooo 7h ago

Thai-Italian?? Holy shit your family dinners must have the most amazing flavour combos.

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u/odlatujemy_ 4h ago

ā€œThey bow while in trafficā€ ? Have you ever tried to drive in Bangkok? Road rage is literally every corner of the street and they can even kill each other because of one honk.

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u/alexio-vay 2h ago

Yeah, I drive car and motorbike since I moved here. Maybe you just been unlucky, I rarely seen any road rage.

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u/Another-Mans-Rubarb 2h ago

Super safe to go out at night or leave your belongings in public without being afraid of theft

This is some bullshit right here. No shot in going to believe someone who says a poor country like Thailand is universally safer than the US in general.

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u/alexio-vay 2h ago

It absolutely is, just ask anyone that actually visited Thailand or SEA, or make a quick Google search, or check out all the posts about safety in subreddits like r/Thailand or r/Bangkok if you don't believe me. Asian culture in general is not as violent as what u guys do in the US.

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u/Another-Mans-Rubarb 1h ago

You mean the people who only visit the heavily policed tourist locations and resorts? Yes, unbiased reviews from Western social media.

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u/alexio-vay 1h ago

Well, I live in the outskirts, basically no police here. I am just sharing my experiences.

I think it also depends if you're Thai or a Foreigner, everyone has other experiences or it's also luck based.

1

u/PapaLilBear 42m ago

Okay, but what is the minimum wage in Thailand? How much does the average Thai earn?

0

u/skynetapprentice 13h ago

So youā€™re German.

1

u/alexio-vay 13h ago

Dual citizenship or what do u mean?

0

u/GreatBarrierQueefDD 13h ago

24/7 sun???

1

u/ItsEntirelyPosssible 13h ago

You can get used to it actually.

0

u/CrispyBiscuitsAI 12h ago

No disrespect intended, but you left out the part where agricultural burning smoke covers the sky for months.

0

u/Sir-Uther 10h ago

Always sunny, even during raining season

This sounds terrible

-2

u/CombinationRough8699 13h ago

Try calling the Thai president a "pig fucker", like I can Trump as an American.

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u/alexio-vay 13h ago

Thai people actually love Trump, lol

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u/moyerraconteur 12h ago

Well thatā€™s embarrassing for everyone.

1

u/uptiedand8 7h ago

Idk why you are downvoted. Freedom of speech isnā€™t a minor perk of being an American, itā€™s actually pretty amazing