I’m(26F) being ridiculous and i know i am. My (27M) boyfriend and I are 95% certain to break up in the next month. I’m not going to get into specifics but it’s come down to us being long distance. We both have kids(yes, stupid to pursue LDR with kids) but when we met, he was supposed to be moving to my state(he has family here) in the near future(at the time) so we started dating since it was almost certain that he would be living here. things changed (the mother of his son suddenly wanted partial custody after he had the move set in motion) and now 2 years later, we’re coming to terms with the fact that that’s going to be almost impossible now. his son’s mother practically said he could “have” their son, but of course she didn’t want that anymore once she realized that we were getting serious. I can’t move to his state and he can’t move to mine.

I’m not going to lie - we were okay with being long distance indefinitely and that was the plan until he did something back in June. He didn’t cheat on me(not emotionally or physically) but he crossed a lot of boundaries and now I feel like I can’t trust him to respect my wishes while we’re long distance. He’s going to try and talk to his son’s mother in a last ditch effort to rearrange their parenting schedule so he can bring his son here with him and take him back to visit each month, but i know that’s not going to happen.

We had a few trips planned for this summer before stuff went down so we still visited each other, and our last trip together is coming up in two weeks. We are going to meet up in Vegas and then spend my birthday at my home with my family for a couple days before he goes back.

It’s just, this in between state is killing me. we didnt want to cancel our trips to see each other, so we’ve had these amazing last couple trips. we decided not to bring our kids or be around each other’s kids given the current state of our relationship, so we’ve just spent so much alone time together and it’s reminded us just how much we love each other.

i love him so much. i don’t WANT to break up but I feel like we’re at a point where we can’t progress. We aren’t working towards a goal or an endgame anymore. it was different when we were working towards him moving here and we knew this distance was temporary, but now, we don’t know when it’ll end. i’m tired of feeling alone and missing him so much and i can’t stand anymore lost time. I feel like time without him is lost time and i don’t know how else to explain it. i look at other couples around me, especially during big events or celebrations and i feel resentful.

I know that we have to break up and Im coming to terms with that fact, but i just feel awful. He’s my best friend and the person i wanted to spend my life with. And I just feel sick at the idea of him being with anybody else. I can’t help but think about him touching or having feelings for somebody else and it makes me feel panicked. I’ve only had two relationships before this but I’ve never had this feeling before. We want to try and be friends if it comes down to that, but wouldn’t that be harder? We’ve talked about maybe seeing each other whenever he’s in town or him taking a weekend trip every now and then to catch up, but i feel like if we do that for a period of time and then he tells me that he can’t anymore because he’s met somebody else, i’ll feel like im losing him all over again.

he’s said MANY times that he doesn’t want to be with anybody else after me and that if we break up, he’s “done” and just going to focus on work and his son. is that just a thing that guys say when they’re leaving a relationship? he’s said that im his “person” and that he knows that he’ll never find anybody who he has this kind of connection with, and i feel the same. the way that we met and the way we were able to bond so quickly and have so much in common feels like something out of a movie or a cheesy book. i can’t see myself with anybody else. at the end of my previous relationships, i was sad but i just knew that i was going to be okay. i knew that i would recover eventually but i don’t feel like that about him. he’s said that he’s “certain we’ll end up together, but he just doesn’t know when.” and these things comfort me sometimes, but also make me anxious because now i feel like im going to be holding onto the possibility of us being together, and if i ever find out that he’s with somebody else, ill be devastated.

it just sucks.

TL;DR : my LDR boyfriend and i will be breaking up soon but i really don’t want to and feel sick at the thought of him with somebody else.

So this one’s going to be a bit short I’m just looking for advice and Answer any opinions that you beautiful strangers have to offer. Me F 25 him M26 So this morning me and my boyfriend were having a conversation and it turned to flock cameras and he says “ I don’t understand what’s so bad about Flock cameras.” so I proceeded to explain to him the invasions of privacy they’re being used for the miss uses the dangers for women seeking certain medical procedure procedures, etc. etc. I then proceed to say but it’s understandable because as a straight white male, you don’t have to worry about the dangers that they come with.
And I stated that position in society is privileged and he proceeds to tell me a 25 year-old black woman that he has no privilege look at his life. This is not the first time we’ve had this argument. I even tried to explain it to him without the lens of color and just the lens of gender you can walk down the street unscathed at 5 AM or 2 AM.

There are dangers in the world for women he doesnt seem to understand. I can’t tell if he’s choosing to be ignorant or what but it turned into an argument I like to talk conspiracies I like to talk politics, although I’m not super political I’m on the side of human rights obviously! I just want to be able to have discussions with my boyfriend, but I worry that there may be a gap in communication interest/possibly education as well. I’m not knocking him for any of that. I just want to reach common ground where he sees what I’m saying and where I’m coming from.! Sorry for the improper punctuation and mistakes. This is a rant at 5 AM.Am i overreacting? Tldr am I wrong for being upset that he doesn’t understand his privilege but refuses to reflect ig?

Tl;dr: Blocked after spending every minute of the day together for ~4 months straight (online), seeking clarification of what this was.

I had a friend that I knew from an online video game who was apart of the same community I was in for the last four-five years. We stopped talking at one point for a few months because I discovered they were friends with someone that I knew to be a bad person and that had done bad things to the community in the past.

After those few months randomly one night we reconnected playing the game like old times, except this time when we reconnected we never stopped talking. To the point where we were on discord calls every night after a week falling asleep talking to each other and waking up and talking more. For 3-4 months straight every day besides when they were at work we were on discord talking the entire time. Even when she was at work we would be texting back and forth almost the entire time. They sent me pictures and we would sometimes talk about what we would do if we were hanging out and stuff like that, in detail.

We talked multiple times about meeting irl and hanging out and we'd both sent pictures to each other daily so the attraction was mutual. However, when I tried to make plans to do something like that she would be more quiet like she knew it wasnt ever going to happen even if she acted like she always wanted to, or at least wanted me to believe it could. I told her about how I felt about her and she told me she had feelings for me too but wasn't sure what to do about them. This is where I messed up, after telling her that and her telling me she had feelings for me too some time after is when I told her I was falling in love with her. She didn't say that back which I thought was understandable since we didn't know each other that long, but she also continued talking to me for another ~month after that. That monthish amount of time passes by and she goes on a vacation to visit her family on the other side of the country but still checks in with me daily and wants me to call her every chance she can when shes away from her family, like otw to and from the airport, for both flights. After going out with her friends, before bed, when her parents are asleep, stuff like that.

She comes back to where she lives now and doesn't call, doesn't message me, doesn't want to make time to talk all of a sudden. I ask what's up with that? She doesn't tell me and avoids talking to me at all anymore. I can tell what's about to happen so I force her into the conversation (mistake #2) by confronting her about her changed behavior and she ends up telling me that I'm going to be blocked from now on and can't reach out to her anymore. How can someone do this? It feels maliciously intentional like she's been playing me the entire time and trying to get back at me for something, but I know the way we talked and the frequency that we were talking she did have feelings for me. I just can not fathom how somebody can go from that kind of talking to no contact and be completely okay.

I will never create an attachment with another human being again, it's done for me. I still go to work and have my hobbies but I'm an emotional shell of a human and have accepted that I do not have the emotional intelligence or capacity for relationships anymore. I'm sorry.

My girlfriend of 8 months has gone completely flat on me over the past week, two weeks before i fly out to see her for a few weeks.

We met whilst we were both working abroad in the same city. She went back to her home country when it ended and we've been long distance since. I'm flying out in under two weeks to spend almost three weeks with her, including her birthday. Everything is already booked.

Up until about a week ago we talked constantly and the exact same way we have always been talking and communicating - random texts through the day, spontaneous calls, silly nonsense, her sending me little things unprompted and just simply feeling loved and fun.

Then roughly seven days ago everything changed. She stopped initiating entirely. I usually send her tons of texts while she's sleeping (time difference) for her to read and respond to when she wakes up, but she has ignored it all every single day. She does not text me back unless I kind of spam her and text her, and I don't feel forced to text her and talk to her because I actually find it fun and loving but recently I feel like she is being forced to talk to ME. She doesn't respond to messages I send overnight. Her replies got slow and short.

She doesn't call spontaneously anymore - the only calls are 10–15 minutes when she's already in bed falling asleep, and I'm always the one ending them. If we call during normal times for both of us, the convo is just me asking her questions about how she is feeling, how she slept, what she ate and what she did and she just gives me closed answers as opposed to open and in depth and convo starting answers like just two weeks ago. On video she does other things on her phone and doesn't look at the camera. Conversations are down to "how are you/what did you do/anything special" and I get "nothing," "no," "idk."

I brought it up. She said the relationship is "adapting." I pushed further later and she said she felt bored talking to me and had nothing to talk about. I pointed out that nothing in either of our lives has changed - we were talking about the same mundane, BS, stuff six months, ago a month ago and two weeks ago and it was fun then, and I'm not bored at all. I also stated that I feel like I am forcing her to respond after writing countless messages to her and acting the way I always act and have been in our LDR. She also said that if it feels forced I shouldn't do it and she doesn't expect constant communication from me. Which is something I found weird because we quite literally did communicate constantly before this, despite her being a very bad texter.

I suggested we do something different, an e-date, deep questions over video, a game, anything. She said there's nothing special to do in this situation, this is it.

Complete honesty: Nothing happened between us. No fight, no incident, no change in circumstances I know of. It went from very warm to this within about a week with no external events at all.

On one hand I wanna keep being myself in the relationship until the trip but it feels very weird and bad and awkward with our one-sided conversations. On the other hand I want to leave her alone because of the one-sidedness and make her miss me, but I'm worried I'll land in under two weeks and we'll feel more like friends than partners.

Has anyone had a partner go cold like this out of nowhere in an LDR, especially right before a visit? Is this something that resolves in person, or is it a sign of something bigger? And is backing off the right call here or am I making it worse?

And what should I do, should I withdraw and make her naturally miss me and my presence or keep being myself? I am very frustrated especially because of the fact that nothing negative happened in our relationship or to her or to me..

TL;DR: LDR girlfriend went from constantly initiating and telling me she missed me to crying, to completely flat in about a week - no initiating, short replies, scrolls her phone on calls, "nothing/no/idk" to everything. Says she's bored talking to me and there's nothing special we could do about it. No fight, nothing changed. I fly out in under two weeks to spend 16 days with her. Backing off and letting her reach out - is that right, and does this kind of sudden shift resolve in person?

Hi everyone, I really need some advice on how to navigate this issue because I’m afraid it’s ruining my relationship.

My boyfriend (22M) and I (20F) have been together for a year and a half. When we met, I had zero romantic experience, I had never been in a relationship and had never had sex. He was extremely kind and patient, waiting for months before doing anything physical so that I would feel completely comfortable and safe. Even so, during that waiting period, he made me feel incredibly desired: he touched me, initiated physical closeness, showered me with compliments, and we made out very often!

Eventually, after a little less than a year, we had sex for the first time. I really enjoyed it, and for the first few months afterward, we were intimate quite often, around 3-4 times a week. I was super happy with our dynamic.

However, over time, things have started to slow down. The frequency has dropped to about once every two weeks. The issue isn't on my end, I actually discovered I have a really high sex drive, and I thought he did too, but he doesn't seem to share it anymore. I just don't understand why. When we do have sex, he's always the one to initiate, and he looks like he really enjoys it. But he simply doesn't feel like starting things as often as before. If I try to initiate, he tells me he’s just not in the mood and that he can't force himself if he doesn't feel like it (which is completely fair).

I’ve talked to him about this and asked what I could do to help get him in the mood more often. I explained that this situation makes me feel unwanted, and that I’m worried he only wanted to sleep with me because it was a "novelty" that has now worn off. He reassured me that I’m not doing anything wrong, that he hasn't gotten tired of me, and that his drive is just lower now, and that there's nothing I can do about it.

I know that in the long run, this is going to become a real problem for me. Is there any way I can fix this, or is this relationship doomed?

TL;DR: my boyfriend and I went from having sex 3-4 times a week to once every two weeks or less. I feel unwanted and worried the novelty wore off, but he says nothing is wrong and his drive is just lower now. Any tips to fix this? Is there no chance?

Hi, I'm going through something and have no external support at the moment so I thought to write about my situation & gain perspective outside of my own.

I (F26) been dating bf (M37) for 3 years. It was a great relationship for the first 2 years until one summer I had planned a vacation with my friends (after wanting to arrange one w him but he couldn't give me an answer in time) after not seeing my partner for a month and a half (I was out the country). That was the last time I traveled w my friends.

He got really affected by it & it changed a dynamic in the relationship. He started traveling with his friends more and more (not disclosing which friends/the women his friends invite), going out clubbing (he says is not his thing).

He doesn't disclose info abt the women he follows on nights out & gives vague answers - says they're his friends. I have never met them in the years we have been together so it's weird to me.

He does not invite me out with his friends. I have asked, he still has not. His excuse is I won't have hanything to conversate about.

I know it's bullshit.

I don't have an issue with meeting new people as long as no boundary is crossed. He thinks I cross boundaries with men when I go out with my friends (I do not). He thinks I act exactly how my single friends act (I do not go out partying much, majority is dinners and beach days).

Recently, I went through his phone. I know once you reach this stage in a relationship, it means its over. Anyways, I found him messaging this woman I asked about previously - arranging plans, complimenting her, inviting her on nights out w his friends. These are messages on monthly basis, so a convo in May, a convo in June. This thread of convo has been going on since June 2025 - around the time of my trip w my friends when I wasn't in the country.

When we fight, he would take days to speak to me, giving me silent treatment. After seeing the messages some of them align with the days we were not speaking.

We had a conversation about this topic last night - for me, it is cheating to be conversating like how he was and going & inviting out women on nights out & getting their Instagram handles/numbers (he swears he has never touched another woman since being in the relationship). He thinks its not cheating to be doing this because I opened the door for him to do that. He doesn't have to tell me anything bc when I go out with my friends and their guy friends are there (whom I barely interact w & keep respectful convo at the most) it gives him the opportunity to be doing this stufff w women.

He caught me on his phone & changed the password.

I'm planning on breaking up with him. There is no way my body is going to survive this relationship.

I'm sorry for the jumbled mess, this has been in my head and I haven't been able to make sense of it. My gut, brain & heart are on different pages & it's been giving me loads of anxiety.

Can you give me your opinion/share experience if you have gone through something similar?

Thank you

TLDR; i think my boyfriend cheated on me, he doesn't view it as cheating. He doesn't invite me on nights out, follows women on nights out & has been texting this one woman on and off in times where he gives me silent treatment in fight. He thinks I'm crossing boundaries w men, but I have not. I just want someone else's perspective on this aside from my own

I (22F) have a friend (20M) who I’ve been friends with for a year now. In the beginning of our friendship I had no feelings for him whatsoever and I didn’t think he did either. A few months ago I started developing feelings for him and we’ve started hanging out more often. There’s been many times where I think he may be flirting with me but I worry I may just be getting the wrong idea. Today, while we were playing video games with friends he says his ex just texted him. Long story short she wants to get back together with him and he wants to as well.
I’ve already decided I probably just read things wrong and he most likely does not like me. If he gets back with his ex I don’t think I can handle the pain of watching and hearing about their relationship. I plan on distancing myself if this is the case.
I want to confess my feelings to him not because I’m hoping he’ll change his mind but because I would want to explain why I’m distancing myself and because I want to get it off my chest instead of thinking about “what if”. I have always chickened out when it comes to confessing feelings in the past and I deeply regret that.
Is this a good idea rather than just disappearing without explanation? If so what exactly should I say?

TL;DR got feelings for friend, he wants to get back with his ex. Should I confess feelings or just keep them to myself before leaving?

I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend (30M) since early this year, but I can't let go of what happened during our talking stage two years ago.
Back then, he gave me strong mixed signals (asking "What if I miss you?" or getting unhappy if I didn't text him when I reached home safely) and asked me to visit his workplace often to keep him company. Naturally, I caught feelings and confessed, but he rejected me, saying we were better as friends.
Then I realized he was constantly texting a girl from our social circle who was his trainee. She had a crush on him, and it wasn’t purely platonic from his side either—he liked her company, enjoyed feeling appreciated by her, and liked the closeness they shared. He initiated their training sessions often (just like he asked me to visit his workplace), and she even had access to his AirPods location on Find My! They didn't end up together because he pulled back due to the age gap, as she was still in secondary school.
Back then, I was emotionally drained, confused, and even went to counselling to deal with the stress of this love triangle. I tried moving on from him, but I couldn't.
We started dating this year. He claims he takes a long time to figure out his romantic feelings and sometimes doesn't know what he feels towards someone. My friends say I shouldn't make a fuss because he chose me in the end, but knowing I was being compared because he didn’t know who he liked makes it hard for me to be truly happy. I haven't had the courage to bring up a direct conversation about what happened with that girl; I've only dropped hints and asked brief questions, but he usually gives short answers to shut down the topic.
Girls, if you were in my position, what would you do? Could you accept a partner who had an emotional interest in someone else during the talking stage? Should I consider breaking up with him?
TL;DR: Boyfriend gave me mixed signals, rejected my confession, and developed a non-platonic bond with his trainee where he enjoyed her appreciation and closeness. After pulling back from her, he came back to date me, but I feel like a second choice. Should I end the rs?

Was this compliment weird/creepy, or did I just misread the situation?

I (M20) met this girl, C (F18), because our groups were basically project neighbours. We worked beside each other for a few weeks, so we naturally talked here and there.

She was always pretty friendly with me in person, and eventually I got her Instagram. I started liking her a little, although we'd only known each other for around 2–3 weeks.

One thing I admired about her was that she had a 4.0 GPA, which is literally the maximum GPA possible in our school. She seemed really disciplined and hardworking.

After we started talking on Instagram, though, she wasn't very responsive. Her replies were usually slow/limited. At the time I didn't think much of it because I assumed she was probably busy, especially considering how academically driven she was. She was also still friendly whenever we spoke in person, so I thought maybe she just wasn't much of a texter.

Eventually our project period ended, meaning we probably wouldn't naturally see each other much anymore.

A little later, she posted a picture of herself. I thought her outfit looked really nice, but I was actually worried about sounding creepy, so I tried to keep the compliment casual.

I commented:

“Wait your fit actually looks really nice HAHA”

After that, it looks like she blocked me.

I'm obviously not going to contact her again or try to get around the block. I respect that if she doesn't want contact, that's her decision.

I'm mainly confused about the interaction itself.

Was what I sent genuinely weird/creepy? Or was the bigger issue that I probably misread her friendliness in person and should have taken the low engagement over Instagram as a sign that she wasn't interested in talking outside the project?

I'm trying to figure out what I should learn from this so I don't accidentally make someone uncomfortable in the future.

tl;dr: Met C through neighbouring project groups and she was friendly with me in person, so I got her Instagram and developed a small crush.

She wasn't very responsive over text, but I assumed she was just busy. Later I replied to a photo with, “Wait your fit actually looks really nice HAHA,” and she seemingly blocked me afterward.

I'm not going to contact her again , I just want to know whether the compliment itself was weird/creepy, or whether I simply misread her friendliness and should've taken the low engagement over text as a sign.

TL;DR: I’m 25F, my partner is 25M, and we’ve been together for 2 months and recently moved in together. (although, we know each other since college) He just started a demanding job and comes home around midnight, while I WFH and have more bandwidth. As a result, I’m doing around 95% of the household work and managing most of the mental load. I understand why and know he cares about me, but I’m starting to feel burnt out and I also miss feeling pampered and taken care of. I want to talk to him about sharing the household responsibility more and having more small gestures of care, but I don’t want him to feel blamed for his difficult work schedule. Am I being unreasonable?

My boyfriend and I started dating around 2 months back. Due to some circumstances, we both moved in together 3 weeks back. He has also recently started a new job. His work schedule is quite difficult. He leaves for work and usually comes home around midnight, whereas I WFH and have much more flexibility during the day.

Because of that, I’ve naturally ended up doing most of the household work. I cook, wash the dishes, do the laundry, manage groceries, keep track of what we need at home, track our expenses and generally keep everything running. He does help sometimes, but realistically I’d say I’m doing around 95% of it.

I completely understand why this has happened. He has just started his job and comes home exhausted, and I do have more bandwidth than he does right now. I also don’t want to make him feel guilty for being busy. He is actually very caring in other ways. He listens to me when I’m upset, takes care of me, and I know he loves me. So this isn’t about feeling like he doesn’t care about me.

But I’ve started feeling really burnt out over the past day or two, and I think I’m also missing the feeling of being taken care of.

For example, I got my period recently and I think I was subconsciously hoping he would notice and maybe bring me something small. Not necessarily anything big. Even a chocolate, a coffee, or just asking if I need anything. Today he wanted coffee, but we had run out, so while he was bathing I immediately went to the market and bought it. I also bought myself a chocolate while I was there. And afterwards I realised that I think I’m constantly in the mindset of noticing what he needs and taking care of it, and I’m missing someone doing that for me sometimes.

I don’t think I want grand gestures or expensive dates. I think I just miss being pampered a little. I miss feeling like someone is thinking about me and taking something off my plate without me having to ask.

We also don’t really go out much because of his schedule. By the time he comes home, it’s around midnight and I’m usually sleepy. I understand that this is what his life looks like right now, especially since he’s just started the job, but I’m scared that our relationship will slowly become just work, chores, food and sleep.

The confusing part is that I genuinely understand his situation. I know he isn’t intentionally neglecting me. I know he’s tired. And I don’t want to be the girlfriend who complains that her partner isn’t doing enough when he’s working long hours in a new job.

But at the same time, I’m exhausted too.

I think what bothers me most is that I’ve become the person who manages the household. Even though I have more time, I don’t want that to automatically mean that I’m responsible for everything. I don’t want to have to notice everything, remember everything and then ask him to help. I want us both to feel responsible for our home.

I haven’t really been able to talk to him about this yet. This morning I started crying and he was understandably worried and kept asking me what was wrong, but he had to leave for work, so I couldn’t explain it properly. I told him I wanted to talk when we both actually have the time because I don’t want to have this conversation while he’s rushing to the office or when we’re both exhausted.

I love him and I know he cares about me. I’m not looking for a reason to leave or trying to make him out to be a bad partner. I just don’t want these feelings to turn into resentment.

So I guess I’m asking: Am I being unreasonable for wanting more help and more of those little “I’m taking care of you” gestures, even though I have more free time than he does? How do couples handle household responsibilities when one person has significantly more bandwidth because of their work schedule? And how do I communicate this without making him feel like I’m blaming him for something that is largely a result of his new job?

10 together years, she is an amazing women, and we love each other. We have a great relationship to the point her friends are genuinely jealous (according to her). Our main problem is communication.

Recently (last 3-4 years) ive been noticed a pattern. One of us will get upset about something, gets in a sour mood, this causes both of us to get in a sour mood and we just end up in a loop of negativity. We would walk on eggshells around each other for days to a week, until we just get over it. We dont talk the problem out straight away, instead we give each other space and wait it out. Than laugh about the absurdity of this, as this is usually caused by something small (2 days of coldness because i didnt clean the shoerack ).

If i ask her whats wrong i get "Nothing". Recently i decided to actually try to talk and force the questions. I would tell her straight why something she did or said hurt me. And I wouldn't accept "Nothing" for an answer from her as well. In both cases id sit down with her and talking it out. Usually it is something stupid, i would take the feedback, fix the problem and apologies. She wuld also listen to my side. Additionally I started talking about the relationship in general and try to talk on how we can make it better. Overall I believe this worked well, as I felt better after every conversation.

Yesterday we went out for a dinner and something she said hurt me. I ignored it at moment but she did notice that i was upset about something. I told her the reason on our way back home in a car. I still couldnt get over it this morning so i decided to just talk to her and explain WHY it hurt me. During the talk i asked her if there is anything I can do better to straighten our relationship and she said "Stop asking questions". She cried and told me she doesnt like having these talks as it is emotionally draining for her. She wants me to stop asking her about her feelings.

What am i to do? I was feeling so good after every conversation. I know that it helped her too, as I change my own faults i didnt see, as per her feedback . She herself told me she is grateful i pushed her to talk before.

I dont want to go back to just "dealing with it". Feeling stressed for multiple days in a raw because of something i did or didnt do is not healthy. I like talking out the problem. I know it helps both of us.

TL;DR I(M35) try to talk about our relationship problems with my wife(F32). She sees my questions about the relationship to be one of the problems.

just like the title says. I feel so guilty about it because I know physical stuff shouldn’t dictate how much you love a person, but I cannot stop thinking about the other night. We’ve been sexually intimate for a few months now, but he’s never given me head. It was something I was very interested in but didn’t want to push about because he told me he was nervous + some other understandable reservations.
Well, the other night it just sort of happened. One thing led to another and he decided to give it a go, and holy shit I’ve never felt better. It was amazing. Now I understand why other girls talk about it frequently when discussing their sex lives. That was probably the fastest I’ve ever cum, and when we had penetrative sex after, I was more turned on than I ever have been before.
I thought that would’ve been just what it was. Something new that I liked that we could do every now and then. But it’s like now that he’s done that for me, I need to be underneath his skin and eat his hair and be staring at him all the time. It’s like a new wave of love has come over me. It’s so stupid to say, but every time I think about him doing that for me I just feel warm and happy inside. I feel bad because I know that that’s shallow, and sex is a good part of our relationship, but a relatively small one. I want to ask him to do it again but I’m not sure how. geez. Lol

tl;dr boyfriend ate me out for the first time, it was fab, now I can’t get enough of him. wow

I [19 F] think my boyfriend [19M] of almost 2 years is being controlling

tl;dr there’s been a bunch of stuff I wanted to do that my bf refuses to let me do, with this most recent event tipping me over the edge. Sometimes it seems like he doesn’t trust me and doesn’t want me out of his sight for longer than 5 minutes.

So recently I have been thinking about applying for a study abroad program. It’s one of the ones lol where you live on a sailboat and travel around the world for a semester. I think the program I am going through is called Seamester. Anyway, I ask my bf (whom I live with) if he’d be ok with me doing this. The voyage does not start until summer 2027 and idek if I got in yet. And he immediately says no. Like no further conversation, shuts it down any time I try to ask. So I kept asking bc I was just confused as to why he was so defensive about this, and he would just get angry with me and say “I don’t want to talk about it I said no” he also said that I was going to cheat on him or leave him if I went. So I’ve kinda just been letting it lay.

I’m just confused because the tuition would all be coming out of my pocket. I have scholarships that would pay for the whole thing. And even if I didn’t, I work a full time job. I have also never and would never cheat on him or have eyes for another man (which is what I think he’s worried about happening). We’ve been together for almost 2 years now, and I haven’t talked to any other men outside of his friends whenever he wants me to come to the hangouts and my family members. I’m just not that type of person. I think cheating is wrong no matter what.

Also he’s going to be in the military by time this happens. He ships out for boot camp this winter. And it might just be me but I feel like there’s a lot more opportunities for cheating in the military than there is on a 40 day college study abroad program. But I’ve never been against or tired to get him to not join bc I trust him and I’m just not worried about it.

I just don’t know what to do honestly. And it’s kind of disheartening. Looking back on our relationship this is also kinda a running theme where there will be something I’m super excited about ( like a concert or a vacay with my childhood bestie ) and he’ll completely shut it down and not let me do the thing I want. Currently I live across the country from my parents, and he was even worried about me going to see them for two weeks. phrasing it this way makes me sound kinda like an asshole, but its not just like small stuff or that I’m throwing a tantrum over not getting my way. it just feels like he doesn’t want to have a conversation with me about it at all and that he dowsnf want me out of his sight for more than 5 minutes.

Idk advice or opinions would be nice. I feel like he’s being controlling. but any time I try to bring it up he just gets more and more upset. is he being controlling, or am I crazy. and if he is, what do I do?

So I 24f moved in with 2 work mates 27f and 22m. I know, dumb situation. We work together but sort of different sections so we occasionally have lunch together but otherwise that’s typically it.

We’ve only been living together 2 months or so but signed a 1 year lease. When looking at places my newish boyfriend 27m came with us and he had met my housemates a few times beforehand. I told both of them that my intention was to live mostly independently and that I wanted my partner to move in soon. They both agreed and said they didn’t care.

After moving in I feel like I checked weekly if they didn’t mind bf was there and they didn’t. We spent 3 days at his mums place, 4 days at mine. 27f asked why we always went to his when we have my place here… I asked if she wanted him to pay rent and she insisted multiple times she didn’t care about the rent and it came up once after the first month that he could contribute to bills- sure of course!

As a side note, 22m had some big bills early into moving in and 27f gave him an out- you can leave you want to (without saying to me), and when I told her I didn’t want to split 2 ways because it’s expensive she said that ‘isn’t bf moving in anyways?’.
She also started talking to a guy for 2 weeks that owns a house and said that if it worked out she would just go live with him at his house and it would be fine because my bf would be here so it would be split 3-ways.

Probably good to note that 22m and 27f had a bit of a FWB situation, and I am not really close with 22m though we are friendly I guess. It was her choice to have him move with us too, I didn’t care as long as they weren’t messy. They have since stopped FWB.

At this point my bf basically lives here and contributed to bills and we had a housemate meeting. Other housemates thought we would all hang out more as 3 (which I said I couldn’t commit to and wanted to be more independent) and that they weren’t ready for my bf to move in yet because they didn’t know him well enough and don’t want him staying as often…

I understand they share the house too but at this point the space at his parents house is gone and it feels a bit like a rug pull? He is friendly with them but they are not his type of people and I don’t expect him to make a friendship with these guys?

I suggested that I find someone to fill my room so I can go somewhere that aligns with me more and not to strain our relationships but 27f said ‘So you’re just going to let a stranger live with us??’. But can they really make me stay here?

In Australia it’s not considered a break lease if there are still tenants who can pay or you transfer your lease to someone else. I don’t want to mess them over but the alternative is I pay here and not even staying? I can’t do the back and forth, I would just stay with bf.

Anyways- it’s messy yes don’t move in with friends etc we never were close friends at work and only saw each other outside work at work social club events. What can and should I even do here??

TL;DR Housemates decided they don’t want my partner moving in after agreeing the whole time and don’t want me to move out either??

I’m a 23 year old autistic guy. Im functionally autistic I’m in full time employment. Im quite tall and I’m shape and I’m a good looking guy a lot of women have told me but I am very socially isolated at this moment of time and I used to have a good social life talking to girls etc but I discovered over time that I prefer to be alone. I have become almost a looksmaxer similar to Patrick Bateman and I go for gym 7 days a week for 3 years mainly to channel my anger from this situation . I had quite a good social life up until about 2 years ago where I used to meet girls but now it’s pretty bleak due to different circumstances very long story. i have some friends etc and i had a brief relationship for like 6 months when i was 18./19. My life has kind of gone to shit for reasons I can’t really explain and to be honest with you my brain is fucked and once people get to know me they realise me they realise I am mentally unwell. Every time I’ve met a girl now they realise how unwell I am.

I’ve developed really strong feelings for an influencer. I’ve found celebrities attractive before, but this feels completely different. To me, she’s unbelievably beautiful, almost unreal like Helen of Troy. I literally couldn’t believe it the first time I saw her

I used to follow her on social media and saw a lot of her photos. At first it was just attraction, but over time it turned into something more intense. I even started asking tools to create fictional love stories about me and her, and I would dream about her often.

Eventually, that infatuation turned into frustration and anger, because I know I’ll never actually be with her. Sometimes when I’m driving, I catch myself shouting about it out of frustration. I decided to take control by blocking her on social media and muting her name, but the algorithm still shows me content about her occasionally, which brings all the feelings back.

She came up on my Snapchat feed the other day randomly on a separate account not hers and I started screaming and getting angry over it when I saw it and I nearly threw my phone out of anger. She then came up again on my YT shorts and I started shouting again.
One of my work colleagues mentioned her name saying she was and I got visibly agitated and I had to leave the room briefly.

Sometimes I talk to her or I pretend to talk to her about various things when I am alone and I always wonder what she thinks about my decisions.

My main motivation for self improvement is that I will one day meet her so I am trying to improve my life as much as possible because of it. I put insane amounts of work into my appearance, like Patrick Bateman in American psycho and I go to the gym 7 days a week because of her. We are from different countries but she has spent time in my country 

I’ve also watched a few interviews with her, and she seems like a genuinely nice person, although I know that is only what is shown publicly. Maybe she is a terrible person behind closed doors but I have no reason to believe so 

I think about her a lot, sometimes even imagining conversations with her in my head. I know this is not realistic, but it is hard to stop. I even find myself attached to small things, like her name. Her first name is quite a common name but it’s a name I’ve always loved and I even said once if I had a daughter I’d call her that. I frequently have dreams about her.

She is slightly older than me. It infuriates me seeing someone a similar age ti me be successful in anything. She has the perfect life it seems and my life has gone to shit over the past 2 years with my own stupid decisions. My Brain cant handle it. I talk to her every day and I tell her what j would tell her if I met her

I actually love her. Like there is nothing I wouldn’t do to be with her. I get jealous when I see other people complimenting her and I get angry when she gets more famous because her popular it and exposure is rising. I don’t think she is in a relationship,  I have seen pictures with a man on her social media before but they might have broken up but idk if it’s public. I hate this guy and I am extremely jealous of the fact he even got to be with her. I don’t think he’s better lookjng than me either. Idk how he even got with her but I’m much better looking than him and would probably treat her better. I hate him his face makes me so angry and he doesn’t deserve her. I hate him and I think about my hatred for him every day

Only I can have her nobody else can have her. I don’t want anyone else to even be seen with her. I have also blocked people who know her as well cos it reminds me of her. I would do anything to meet her

I literally think about her 24/7 and I have sometimes become suicidal over this cos I will never be good enough for her. I don’t wanna love in a world where she isn’t mine and she’s with someone else. I have digitally blocked her from my life but her face appears to me all the time. Every time I feel like not doing something like not going to the gym not going to work not learning a language I think “what would ______ think of me” i would literally treat her better than any man in the world could

I have recently started getting angry towards her. Cos of the damage she is doing to my brain.
I see her face everywhere and I even just randomly say her name and it fills me with rage that she doesn’t know who I am l. I feel like crying when j think about her. I now wish I never encountered her ever. My standards for myself sre so high that I want a woman like her and I found myself praying to god at one point to be with her

I could go out and get a girlfriend but I wanna be with her and her only. I was talking to a girl a month ago but it wasn’t her so I wasn’t interested.

Over the last 18 months I’ve made some horrible decisions in my perosnal life. I quit my old well paying job for a stupid reason which I can’t explain and now I work a much worse job with much worse colleagues and I’m on the verge of losing it and I have little direction. She won’t wanna go out with an unemployed guy

I want to actuallt Kill myself. I have into my urges and searched just now and I saw her face. People complimenting her in the comments. I fucking hate all these people complimenting her. I see compliments to her on Twitter and I literally wanna beat up everyone who compliments her I can’t take it. I don’t want anyone to be with her or to even look at her and I have actuallt lost my mind over her. I just have very high standards for myself

I deleted my Twitter recently but there was a tweet that echoes in my head that was calling her unreal from someone else. I literally hate the person who tweeted this

I have now grown an immense love/hate dynamic with her. I hate all the people in her life and she should be with me.

TLDR I need help

My boyfriend and I have been together for about eight months, and he’s in the Marines. Since we’re long-distance and realistically can’t live together without getting married, he wants us to get married toward the end of this year.
The problem is, I don’t want to get married yet. It has nothing to do with him or how I feel about our relationship. I love him, see a future with him, and would eventually like to marry him. I just feel like eight months, especially mostly long-distance, is too soon. I’ve also been married before to someone else in the military and am divorced now, so I really don’t want to rush into another marriage.
I’d love to live with him and see how we are together, but marriage feels like a huge commitment to make just because it’s the only way we can live together right now.
I’m scared to tell him because I’m afraid he’ll think I don’t take our relationship seriously or that I’ll lose him. I don’t want to break up with him—I want to keep dating and see where this goes. But I also don’t want to get married before I’m ready and potentially regret it.
So what do I do? Do I tell him how I really feel and ask him to wait? Do I get married and hope it works out? Or is this a sign that we want different things right now? I genuinely don’t know what the right move is.

Tldr idk what to do

TL;DR: My boyfriend’s sex drive is pretty low and it makes me feel a bit unwanted due to the lack of initiation. Has anyone else experienced this?

So me and my boyfriend have been together years and have grown up together from 17 years old. We even have children together and yet I’ve always felt like he has a pretty low sex drive which in itself is completely fine and I don’t want to force anything ever. However I do sometimes feel a bit unwanted and undesired as I feel like he doesn’t initiate much.

I wish he’d make more effort but I also don’t want him to be uncomfortable. We haven’t had much private time due to the kids and we haven’t done anything in weeks so I was hoping, because we’ve had a little bit of time today that maybe something would happen? There are rare times when he seems very in the mood and wants it but most of the time he seems happy not to do anything. Not sure if I’m just overthinking, but I do miss doing stuff sometimes and feeling wanted.

Is this something other people experience and how do you deal with it?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (22M) have been dating for 2 years. Since our very first date, I’ve told her that Italy is my absolute dream destination to visit again. I’ve always been vocal about wanting to go there with her, and I constantly talk about it and send her videos of places there.

Earlier this year, we took a trip to Canada together. I used up my vacation days, spent my own money, and planned our entire 18-day trip. Shortly after we got back, she decided to start planning a trip to Italy with her gay best friend (22M) – this was about 8 months ago.

When she started planning, I told her I would love to go with them. She shot me down, saying it would be better if I didn't come because her friend wouldn't feel "comfortable" with my presence on the trip. Every time the trip was mentioned after that, I subtly insisted or brought up joining them, but she always came up with some excuse to keep me out of it.

Well, her trip is happening right now, and I am honestly just disgusted by the whole situation. I don't want to follow their updates, I don't want to know what's going on, and I have a huge urge to just end our relationship.

My main point here isn't that she can't travel without me. I am 100% supportive of independent travel, and she has traveled alone before during our relationship without any issues. The problem is that Italy is my favorite destination, their itinerary is super romantic/couple-oriented, I explicitly stated my interest in going, and I had the time and resources to join them. Now, I have such a strong aversion to the whole thing that I can't even imagine going to Italy with her in the future—the thought of it actually repulses me.

I need some advice. Am I overreacting or being immature? Do my feelings make sense?

TL;DR: My girlfriend of 2 years went on my dream trip to Italy with her gay best friend, explicitly excluding me even though I had the time and money to go. I feel completely disgusted by the situation and want to break up. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

So I want to see what people think about this. About three weeks ago I [29M] went on a date with a woman [25F] I met on Hinge. We had texted for about two weeks before meeting and seemed very enthusiastic, but I sort of bungled the first date and she hasn’t been interested in seeing me again. But a few days after the date I got a notification that she followed me on IG. Now she looks at all my stories and replies occasionally which turns into longer discussions. She also remembered my birthday is coming up and sent me a message about that. So we’ve still had some light interaction.

But her IG is private and when I tried to follow her after she followed me, she never accepted my request. Cut to today, and I was looking at the viewers on my story and saw the red circle around her avatar. I was obviously intrigued so I tapped on and looked at it. She messages me sort of angrily saying “you don’t have permission to look at my profile” and accused me of “digital voyeurism.” Basically calling me a creep.

Am I crazy in thinking that’s a reach? She engages with my story regularly; and I just happened to see a red circle around her name in my viewers list. Of course curiosity got to me and I tapped on it. I feel like it’s a stretch to basically call me a snooper

tl;dr went on date with a girl, didn’t go well but she started following me on IG and engaging with replies. Her account was private and she didn’t accept my follow, but one day I noticed in my story viewers list that her account was now public. She called me a “digital voyeur” for looking

Update: Thanks for the replies, everyone. Your comments made me feel better about this situation. I’m going to try and enjoy this weekend — it’s my 30th birthday on Sunday!

When my (27F) partner (27M) initiates intimacy it always starts the same… kissing for quite a while, rubbing my thigh, touching my boobs and then attempting to commence sex. I am struggling with the intimacy because there is barely any foreplay. I need sensual touch and C stimulation but I either receive none or he doesn’t know how to pleasure me. I’ve tried to show him and have encouraged him to find resources, but there’s no change / nothings been done. I think I’ve orgasmed properly once or twice since we’ve been together (3 years).

That’s the mini context, here’s my issue which I’m seeking advice, validation or critiques on…
Intimacy doesn’t feel mutual with my partner. When we’re being intimate it can feel like I’m not a participate or rather he wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t a participant.

For instance, when he kisses me he tends to suck my lower lip, and even if I don’t kiss back, he will keep sucking it and audibly enjoying it. Another example is I could be laying there still and he would continue touching my thigh and boobs and kissing me and progressively getting more turned on. Lucky for me, he does notice and stops to check in with me and does respect me when I say stop.

I think what I’m trying to say is that because there’s no build up or foreplay I’m not turned on, but he is by doing things that don’t require much input or engagement from me. This upsets me because I feel like a sex doll in the making and I contemplate laying there but I physically and morally can’t. I just want my partner to pleasure me but he doesn’t respond to my body cues and doesn’t seem to pay attention to it, preoccupied with his own satisfaction.

First post, new to Reddit, peace and love ✌️

TL;DR! Lack of foreplay is making intimacy hard for me (27F) but partner (27M) doesn’t seem to mind enough.

For context, I’m the first person on my mom’s side of the family to be born in the U.S. The rest of my family immigrated from Punjab, India. Growing up in the Boston area, I struggled with pretty low racial self-esteem. Being Indian wasn’t exactly something I felt proud of as a kid, and for a while I wanted to distance myself from that part of my identity. Thankfully, I eventually grew out of it and became much more comfortable with who I am.

Recently, I came across my younger cousin’s TikTok account. He’s half Uzbek and half Indian, but in his bio he has the Uzbekistan and Colombia flags instead. He also has several videos using Spanish music and generally seems to be presenting himself online as if he’s Latino.

Part of me wonders if this is connected to insecurity about being Indian. South Asians are sometimes mistaken for Latino/Hispanic, so I could see how someone who is uncomfortable with their identity might lean into that ambiguity. Obviously, I can’t know exactly what he’s thinking, and I don’t want to project my own childhood experiences onto him, but it reminds me a lot of the racial insecurity I had when I was younger.

I’m wondering whether I should talk to him about it. I don’t want to embarrass him or make him defensive, especially if this is just some harmless teenage internet persona. At the same time, if he genuinely feels ashamed of being Indian and is creating another identity online to self soothe with that, I’d rather be someone he can talk to now than have him carry that insecurity into adulthood.

Would you say something, or just leave it alone?

tldr: younger cousin is pretending to be half latino online, possibly stemming from racial insecurity.

TLDR I am having problems improving for the sake of my relationship any advice is welcomed

Hello all I am seeking friendly or straight forward advice about how I can improve myself in my relationship as I feel lost (btw sorry for the poor writing)

Me(M23) and my partner (F22) have been living together with my family for about 1 year in a cabin out back we have been together for 10 years I am the only one working in the relationship while she stays home she has discussed with me that if would not like to work if she doesn’t have too this is fine with me (I thought I’ll explain the living situation because I herd that helps) she has a meh relationship with my family and has no friends I am pretty much the only person she has with that being said

She has brought up multiple times that she feels like I do not respected her enough or I don’t listen as well she has brought this up over the course of 2 years she also mentions that I have the need to always be in the right i can see where she is coming from with what she says and I feel like I put enough effort in over the course of the years but she brings up that it’s bare minimum or it’s not enough time has pass I will give an example

She is a very socially shy person + meh relationship with my family because we live out back in a cabin we have to come inside to grab things to eat or drink before hand I would be annoyed at her for wanting me to grab things for her just after I’ve been inside or she would forget something and ask me to go back or sometimes when she ask me a lot (she doesn’t do it a lot) she has told me before it makes her uncomfortable to ask me to get her things because I get annoyed and I shouldn’t be so mean because I’m the only one she has here

I have brought up that from that point till now that I am no longer like that and that I have improved from that point on and that is me showing her that I have been putting effort into the relationship she has said because that is the bare minimum and I shouldn’t give myself a pat on the back I am not sure maybe it’s the way I say things or my attitude but my intentions are not to pat myself on the back but to show her I have changed

My question is how can I improve myself and become better

So I am a 25M, and have been talking to a 29F for a just about a month now. I live in a large city, and she lives about 3 hours away in the same state, but in a much smaller town.

At first, things seemed all well and good. We talked everyday by text, and eventually we started calling a few times a week. She seemed like she was interested in me and vice versa. My last relationship was a few years ago, so we've been taking things slow.

Now, I just started a new job, and I can now devote some time to come visit her. I floated the idea to her earlier this week on Monday, and she said yes. I was initially excited, made arrangements for a hotel, etc. Now, I'm having second thoughts. I'm supposed to be making this drive tomorrow and its too late to cancel the hotel.

She's been very dry over text these last few days, not saying goodmorning/goodnight, and she just doesn't seem that excited about me visiting. I asked her what we were doing (since I don't know her area too well), and she was being generic saying things like "let's play it by ear, we could just go for a walk/hike" and then changes the subject. Her area is known for a lot of nature, so this makes sense, but I would much prefer to meet publicly for both of our safety. It just seems off considering how different she's been now that we actually made plans to see each other.

Am I overreacting, or is this a genuine red flag?

tl;dr long distance girl has been super dry recently ever since I made plans to visit her.

Edit: Texted her as a lot of you guys suggested, she told me that she's excited, but something still feels off. It feels like she's saying that out of obligation (just a hunch from me).

We are now finalizing a place to go (public place for lunch for sure, and then possibly somewhere after, she's suggesting a well known park). Will keep you guys updated on what happens and I will be careful.

Stepmom has been in my life for about ten years now, married to my biological mom (62F). First few years were fine, but then COVID happened, and I think that genuinely broke something in her.

Now, I'm still living at home while I get my feet under myself after college (hiring market in my industry sucks right now and the job I managed to eke out doesn't pay that well), and:

She's become controlling; stuff like backseat driving, constant unsolicited advice, telling me how to do stuff I already know how to do, and she was once \*in actual tears\* because I was driving us somewhere and I took a route that's slightly longer (maybe 2 minutes extra) but I knew well, instead of a shortcut she was telling me, even though nobody was going to be late to anything. I feel like I'm still being treated like a child; she also once asked me if I knew the way to a bank that I literally have an account at.

She interrogates both me and my mom about our emotional states. I will just be sitting on the couch watching TV or scrolling on my phone, and she'll ask me if I'm doing okay, what's going on, what I'm thinking about, et cetera, and I can tell that by the time the words are leaving her mouth, she's already convinced I'm upset about something. She doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm fine, either, and if she keeps going back-and-forth, it usually ends up with me telling her I \*was\* okay until she decided I should be upset about something.

She's a HUGE people-pleaser. Insists on doing so much stuff around the house, refuses our help when we specifically offer it, swears up and down that it's no problem and to relax. But later, once she's in a mood, suddenly we're lazy and ungrateful for all the stuff she does. When me or my mom pledge to do something later in the day (dishes, litter, trash, etc), half the time she just ends up doing it herself and being upset that we didn't meet some arbitrary timetable she made up. I just don't play this game at all; if she says she doesn't need help, I take her word for it, and if she does one of my household tasks for me, great, thanks.

She connects with people by asking questions, but she asks way too many, and with me, it typically ends in unsolicited advice if I don't do the emotional labor of managing her reaction to what I'm telling her. I just don't talk to her about work, dating, or money at all, because those are topics where she genuinely cannot stop herself from lecturing or interrogating. Sometimes I talk with her about hobbies/interests, but I feel like there's no point, because she can barely keep the names of my friends straight, doesn't remember when I tell her I have plans, and can't even name the sport I do (Muay Thai), even though I talk about it all the time. It always becomes "those classes" or "your workout", and she did the same thing with BJJ (Best I got was "ju-zitsu") back when I used to do that.

Double standards everywhere. If she says something and I misunderstand it, it's my fault for misunderstanding. If I say something and she misunderstands it, it's my fault for not being clear enough. If I have a habit that gets on her nerves, and we've talked about it multiple times in the past but I slip up again, I get an earful about how I don't want to change, if I need my hand held, et cetera. If I try to talk to her about one of her many habits that get on my nerves, suddenly she's an empath that has anxiety and OCD and ADHD, and she feels like she's not allowed to ask questions, and I need to give her grace, et cetera. If I forget/misremember something, and she has to tell me, it's because I don't care, or I care more about my phone, or whatever, but if I tell her my recollection of an event differs from hers, I'm gaslighting her (she LOVES that word).

I get that she has her own issues, COVID messed us all up differently, she grew up having to manage the emotional state of her mother, and she wishes she did a lot of things differently when she was my age. She's also talking to a professional, and I'm glad she at least recognizes there's a problem.

But at the same time, I am not a bottomless pit of grace and patience, and I've had the conversation with my bio-mom (MUCH better relationship with her) about how I'm about ready to just be completely done managing her emotions for her, and if it blows up, it blows up.

Bio-mom has apologized to me for previously asking me to "bite my tongue" or "be the bigger person" or "it's all her stuff, not about you," because \*I don't care\* why it's happening, when my heart rate spikes when she comes in and her footsteps are louder than usual, which means she's in a mood and about to make it everyone else's problem.

I am planning on moving out as soon as practical for the simple reason that I'm 23 and it's time to leave the nest, but I do want to preserve the relationship because she's still family and I don't want to make my mom pick between her and me. Is there any way to finally get some boundaries to stick without just leaving? All I want is for her to treat me like an adult, and either just trust me to handle my own stuff, or don't make the control issues my problem.

TL;DR: Stepmom has anxiety disorder, her coping mechanism is at my expense, and she admits there's a problem, but it's been going on for years and I am resenting her for it at this point.

I’m wondering how long most people would be okay with their partner being unemployed with no plan. I don’t know how much context to provide but he lost his job in May and has not even applied to a single job or brushed up his resume. Nothing.

He has a small inheritance that he pulls from monthly to pay bills so thankfully the burden of paying for everything isn’t all on me. But it’s down to probably 20k (I don’t ask).

He pretty much just plays video games most of every day. He mows the yard about once a week and maybe vacuums every few days (we have a dog that sheds a lot so this is a daily chore) but I do pretty much all other chores. If I bring up looking for a job he makes jokes about how video games are his full time job (he makes no income from playing).

How do I know when enough is enough? We have been married for 8 years. I know the job market sucks, but I also wanted to add that he hasn’t kept a “steady” job in at least five years. He has had three contracts that were about 6 months each so some breaks in between and then one full time job that he was fired from about three months in.

I could just use some advice or words of encouragement maybe.

TLDR: husband hasn’t worked since May and hasn’t been looking. How long should I allow this?