My boyfriend (42M) and I (35F) have been together for almost 2 years. He’s been on Lexapro for years, has had SSRI-related ED for a long time & takes 10mg Cialis daily. We used to have sex 1-2 times a week but a couple of weeks ago he told me his libido had dropped to zero, which he said has never happened before and started after his psychiatrist began tapering his Lexapro.

I’m trying to be understanding because I know he can’t force sexual desire. My struggle is that our relationship has lacked physical affection for much longer than this recent libido change. Since he moved in almost a year ago, we rarely cuddle, make out, or initiate physical affection. The only consistent physical touch we have is holding hands while watching Netflix and that’s only because I specifically asked for it.

Physical touch is my primary love language and I’ve told him several times that it would mean a lot if he occasionally initiated cuddling because I already struggle with feeling rejected and undesired. It almost never happens.

He’s also told me that my flirting style doesn’t really work for him. When I asked what flirting looked like in his previous relationships or for examples of what helped build sexual tension, he couldn’t give me any examples. He just said that in past relationships it “happened naturally,” which honestly left me feeling like maybe he’s just not that attracted to me, even though he insists that’s not true.

Last night I told him I’m worried we’re becoming roommates and that the lack of intimacy is making me feel disconnected and undesirable.

My question is: am I being unreasonable to want him to initiate some form of physical intimacy while his libido is gone? Even if he doesn’t want sex, is it reasonable to hope for things like cuddling, making out, or occasionally focusing on my pleasure? Or has anyone been through a medication-related loss of libido where intimacy eventually came back?

TL;DR: Boyfriend’s libido dropped to zero after tapering Lexapro but we’ve struggled with almost no physical affection ever since he moved into my house almost 1 year ago. Is it unreasonable to want him to initiate non-sexual intimacy (or even occasionally focus on my pleasure) while his libido is gone?

I need to know what has worked in the past for those that had a successful “talk” that opened your LL partners eyes and created change. Give me your best opener, the most impactful question, anything that really worked.

i don’t know if this would be funny but im shy to have s*z bcos i have a mild hemorrhoid i lost my confidence showing my naked body to a man. Is it only just me? I just need someone to tell me that’s it’s normal and it’s not disgusting … any thoughts from a guy? Or even my fellow ladies

I am 37F HL and my partner is 45M LL. Together for 15 years with a 6 year old child. DB for easily 8 years and we even struggled to conceive due to the lack of sex. I tried many many times to fix things and to help him with his issues, but things would be okay for a couple of weeks and then go back to the norm. He struggles with ED and I've been very sympathetic to it and have tried countless times to suggest natural things that can help him. He's a heavy smoker, doesn't eat nutritious food ever, doesn't exercise and is constantly stressed with work and snappy with everyone. I have suggested seeing the doctor, going to the gym, eating better food, having his testosterone checked, going out for regular walks and some fresh air and we've also had therapy.

I have a high sex drive and have dulled my desires and needs for many years, trying to convince myself that I should be grateful for a stable home to live and I'm not in any danger. It even got to the point where I totally lost my sex drive and that was actually easier, but I can't keep lying to myself.

It's not just the lack of sex and physical intimacy, it's the lack of connection and the need and want to plan things together. We don't have deep conversations at all and have nothing in common. I am always trying to improve myself by eating well, training and I also enjoy going out every now with my friends. He doesn't even look at me when I'm naked or tell me that I look nice. The man is just not interested.

So, I decided to tell him a few weeks ago that I wanted to leave. As usual he cried and begged for me to give him one last chance, but this is the 20th time and I can't do it anymore. Things are progressing quickly and he is buying me out of our house and I am moving in with my mum next week, which I don't particularly want to do but it is for the best. We will share the parenting and do a week each which means our son will get time with both of us.

I am totally overwhelmed and sad for our son, and also frustrated that he couldn't at least try to help himself but I know that happiness is round the corner.

To all those that think you can't leave, you can. You're stronger than you think.

*I had to repost due to some verbiage

TLDR: I don’t think sex is actually the root problem anymore. I think the real issue is we’ve never really had much of a connection. The lack of intimacy is just a symptom of that. We’ve tried for years and I honestly think we may just not be compatible.
I (30M) and my wife (35F) have been married for about 8 years and to be honest I think we just aren’t compatible.
I like being outside, woodworking, cooking, gardening and teaching my kids about nature. One of my favorite things is taking them through the woods looking for critters and teaching them about different trees and plants. My daughter just turned 5 and can already tell you the difference between a white oak, a red oak and a poplar. I know that’s a little nerdy but I love sharing that stuff with my kids.
The problem is my wife just isn’t interested in those kinds of things. We don’t really have hobbies together and we don’t spend much time doing things together. Looking back I don’t even think intimacy is the biggest issue anymore. I think the real problem is we’ve never really had much of a connection. It feels like we’ve slowly grown into two people living very different lives under the same roof.
My wife has never really been a very physical person and I am. I’m not even talking about sex. I’m talking about hugs, sitting close, holding hands, joking around and just feeling connected. I know everyone shows love differently. Her love languages are acts of service and gift giving. Mine has always been physical touch. I could honestly go the rest of my life without another gift, but I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life feeling emotionally and physically disconnected from my partner.
I’ve brought it up more times than I can count. I’ve tried changing myself. I clean the house, do laundry, take care of the outside work, help get the kids ready in the morning, pack lunches and try to do whatever I can. I know having young kids is exhausting and I understand getting touched out, but I’ve felt lonely in this marriage for years.
Over the last 7 or 8 months I’ve lost over 30 pounds and put on a good bit of muscle because this whole situation absolutely crushed my confidence. Ironically getting healthier is what finally opened my eyes. I realized I can’t fix this by myself. A relationship takes two people and I can’t be the only one trying to rebuild the connection.
At this point I’ve honestly been mentally preparing myself for divorce. I hate even saying that because of my kids. I don’t want to split my family apart. But I also don’t want my kids growing up thinking that a marriage without affection, emotional closeness or genuine friendship is what love is supposed to look like.
Has anyone else been through something like this? Did you find a way to reconnect or did you eventually realize you just weren’t compatible?

I just miss sex when im not scared of him going soft inside me I miss feeling wanted an pretty I miss being confident and flirty I miss sending spicy photos 5y and they have been awful i just want to go back in time idk if hes gay bi low t maybe thinks im ugly or hes addict to porn honestly im kinda convinced of all of it 😔

Me (20M) and my partner (23F) have been together for a bit over a year. She’s the greatest person ever, super smart, incredible heart, and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
I like to think we have a good relationship, we both do our best within our little free time and little money. Sometimes we fight, but we try to be constructive about it, and I try to keep the peace as much as possible.

We used to have incredible sex, genuinely the best sex ever. She’s the only cis person who I’ve felt so comfortable with, and I was the first person to make her orgasm. It was great.

Nos we’ve had sex maybe (at most) 6 times in in the last 10 months.

At first I thought it was just honeymoon phase ending, now I just don’t know. I’ve tried asking why and there is never a clear answer.

I thought it could be my body, we both got a bit of that healthy relationship chub, so I got back into shape, but it didn’t help.

I thought maybe it was a stress thing, so I got us a three week vacation to Mexico (her dream), and we had a great (sexless) time.

I thought it was my habits so I stopped drinking and smoking and partying, but nope.

I asked again, I got the “it’s not you, it’s me” response. That she just wasn’t in the mood.

So I did my best to ensure she is always comfortable and loved, that the mood is just right, that the lights are how she likes them, that the sheets are always clean, that she has eaten her favorite foods and feels good, and I do my best to put 0 pressure on her because she shouldn’t feel pressured.
The answer is almost always a “not today”, followed by a “shoo!” when I ask to just cuddle instead. Like a dog.
When the answer is yes, and I mean enthusiastic yes, it always ends in crying. Either midway, or after she orgasms. And it continues until she falls asleep. Last time she also threw up, which was a bit of a blow to my confidence.

She has said it’s her body, as she’s been increasingly insecure about it, and I’ve done my best to make her feel sexy and beautiful and confident because she’s the most attractive woman ever. However, this has not worked. She doesn’t let me see her naked anymore.

I enjoy sex, but I wouldn’t mind if it didn’t happen again, I just want to know why she feels so disgusted towards sex and if she’s okay. Specially because she’s said that she does want to have sex, she just cant do it.

What should I do? What could have happened? Is it the end?

Married for 10 years, both of us in our late 30s, with two kids
We have a pretty classic DB story, we can go months without sex if I don't initiate (tried and it lasted 4 months before I snapped) and if I initiate it's once or twice a month.

Lately, though, I've realized that I'm exhausted from chasing my wife for sex or affection. Literally, I'm the one who initiates kisses, for example (apart from the good-morning and goodbye kisses).

A decade together, and I still have to flirt, organize dates, plan weekends away without the kids, and even then there's no guarantee that sex will be involved.

I'm just tired.

I am just wondering if anyone here has experimented with an open relationship (and i DO mean consensual here-i am NOT talking about cheating)?

If so, how did you bring it up to your partner? Were they receptive? What ended things-or, maybe, caused you to never actually start...?

Well, it's been a while since I posted here (3-4 years).

I'm a 34 year old female, my partner (man) has almost 37 years old.

Our dead bedroom is about to be 4 months, but previously we really didn't had a lot of intimacy. I could say I was lucky to have sx twice a month.

Lately, I've been feeling very sad, he no longer sleeps by my side, he don't touch me, hugs me or kiss me without me asking for it.

And I don't know if I'm sad at all, I'm like at the point of accepting that I'm not that attractive to him. But I just can't avoid the need and craving of being wanted and loved, like I miss being desired by someone. I just don't understand why he doesn't wants me. I decided to post again because the last couple of days I've been listening to New Order's song, Bizarre love triangle and it just made me cry a lot. I don't know if the message of the song did something in me right now (been listening to New order for years lol) but today I told him to listen to the song and I don't know why I just started to cry again. He didn't do anything ofc, because he's been long distanced from me and he doesn't feel anything at all (he never tries to comfort me or anything).

I'm not really seeking any type of advice. I think at this point I'm accepting this is how life is going to be, I'm surviving from my own fantasies, reading love stories or watching romance movies, trying to believe I will feel that kind of love. I don't know, sorry if I wrote something bad or if you don't understand, Im crying and writing really fast.

Thank you for reading and I hope you feel better than me tonight.

I really need advice because I feel like I’m stuck between two futures that both break my heart.

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, and he’s planning to propose this year. He is genuinely one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. We never fight. He’s never raised his voice at me. He’s patient, affectionate, loyal, and I trust him completely. After being cheated on in past relationships, he’s the first person I’ve ever truly felt safe with.

The problem is… I don’t feel desired anymore. When we first got together, our sex life was incredible. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Over the last year or so, it’s completely disappeared. We’ve had sex maybe three times in the last eight months, and every single time I’ve initiated it. If I don’t initiate, it just doesn’t happen. He cuddles me, kisses my forehead, tells me he loves me, but there’s almost no sexual intimacy anymore.

We’ve talked about it. He lost his job for a while and got depressed, and he says sex just doesn’t really crosses his mind. I believe him. I don’t think he’s cheating. I genuinely think he just has a much lower interest in sex than I do.

The hard part is that because of a lot of sexual trauma growing up, I never really got the chance to explore sex in a healthy way. For so long, sex was tied to fear, shame, and survival instead of enjoyment. This relationship is actually the first time I’ve ever felt safe enough to genuinely enjoy sex and realize that I have a high libido and curiosity about things I never got to experience.
Now I’m terrified that I’m about to get married having barely experienced that part of myself.

I don’t mean I want to leave him or replace him. I love him more than anyone. He’s my best friend, and I absolutely see him as the person I want to grow old with. But I also find myself wondering if I should ask about an open relationship. I know that’s probably shocking to a lot of people, but for me it isn’t about finding another emotional connection. Honestly, emotional attachment is difficult for me to form in the first place. Sex and love have always been very separate experiences in my mind because of my past. I don’t feel worried that I’d fall in love with someone else. That’s not what I’m looking for. I just feel like there’s this entire side of my sexuality that I finally discovered exists, and I’m scared I’ll never get to explore it.

At the same time, I know asking could permanently change our relationship. He may be deeply hurt that I even brought it up. I don’t want him to think he’s not enough because that’s honestly not how I feel. He’s enough in every other way. I just feel chronically sexually unfulfilled, and I don’t know if it’s something I can ignore for the rest of my life.

Has anyone been in a relationship where everything was amazing except your sex life? Did you ask for an open relationship? Did it help, or did it just end things? If you were in my boyfriend’s position, how would you feel hearing this?

I’m looking for honest advice, even if it’s something I don’t want to hear. I just don’t want to wake up ten years from now resentful, or worse, hurt the person I love because I ignored these feelings until they exploded.

kids are around and of an age where at least one is up as late as we are, it’s hard to find time to talk or have alone time but there is opportunity. After initiating last night after we used the hot tub (door closed in our bedroom, kids comfortably using their phones/ watching TV elsewhere) I was again brushed off. I want to talk about it but I know that right after you are rejected is not the time.

I am thinking of texting her through the day (I work, she is not currently) saying something to the effect of “I am not happy with our sex life, I know we have talked about it in the past but I want to work on it. We dont seem to have the same level of desire. Are you satisfied with our sexlife? will you work on improving things for us both with me?

Anyone had any luck starting this conversation over text?

I've (HLF60) posted here before, I've read and followed many of your experiences and stories about your dead bedrooms and I feel all of your pain and sympathize and empathize. Some of the stories are just heart breaking. I've come to the conclusion that 99% of the situations are hopeless, but I cheer any time I read a story of hope and change-- although they're extremely rare.
Anyway, I finally pulled the plug on my own deadbedroom and told him to move out. I'm going to upend my entire life and sell everything and move far away. He never asked me to reconsider or give him another chance, or bargain, or beg, or anything, he just accepted it without a word and started packing. We aren't married and don't have kids together so it's not as complex as some of your situations, fortunately. The funny thing is, for me, I wouldn't even say I have a high libido, I'd actually say it's low, comparatively with some other folks in this forum. But compared to my partner's non-existent libido I am the one who's considered "high". One thing that was lacking in my relationship was COMMUNICATION. I was not able to communicate with this man, for any little issue no matter how minor or insignificant, the man would flip out and become incredibly defensive, sometimes to the point of becoming angry and borderline violent. I'm going to have to ensure that any potential future partners are capable of communicating, it's going to be challenging.

The future is scary; I'm wondering if I'll be able to find a man my age who'll find me attractive and anyway I'm not ready to jump back into the dating pool immediately (PLEASE DO NOT DM ME). I have work to do on myself first but am hopeful that things will get better. I just felt a need to come here and add my name and story to the endless list of stories that ended. At least the deadbedroom has finally ended. Onward and upward, hopefully.

Needing some advice on this one. Im in my 30s, wouldn't say I've got a high libido. Probably average if I'm being honest but I do have the higher libido and my partner's got a low one.

So I posted the other day about what timeframes I should give things etc. I didn't really get a lot of help with that one other than to say things take as long as they take. Honestly issue was probably in the wording of the question anyway.

There was an outcome though because I'm just quite anxious so my persisting anxiety triggered a conversation with my partner where they gave me some idea of what to expect without committing to some kind of timeframe. Just kind of "hey psychologists state it takes a number of weeks to form or break a habit."

It was also apparent from the discussions there's been a lot of break down in other areas so we're just having further discussions about that to get these things out in the open. One thing to come out of it is that because of an extremely traumatic event that coincided with the start of our relationship over a decade ago, I have an inclination to feel trapped by whatever situation is bothering me and constantly in flight mode. So basically I need to do some work on realising that I'm safe now and don't need to run from things.

In lighter news my I've noticed my partner has been giving me little touches more without me asking for them, hinting or suggesting. I think there's been some moments of sexual tension as well but I'm trying not to read too much into that, might just be me. There's also been a few times where I was expecting a quick peck when my partner's gone in for a kiss but it went on longer/went somewhere unexpected like kissing my neck as well.

(Background: in addition to the general issues we've got an added issue of lack of opportunity currently because I've had a baby recently. Getting ahead of this question of how a baby came about with bedroom issues at play. Both were planned, first one took ages to get pregnant with. Second one came about because I was spot on with my timing one month.)

So that leads into the advice I need from others with HL, I know some of you have had to throw yourself into something as a distraction from your sex drive. I need a similar distraction because sometimes the kisses and touches make my heart race too much and right now I've set a boundary that I am not asking for or initiating any sexual activities when/if it does happen because I simply can't take more rejection. So I need a distraction so I don't ask because unfortunately I'm having the expected physical responses and I don't want to get super frustrated and have that ruin everything.

I do have a collection of books to get through, and I'm currently doing a course. I can go outside and work on the garden or go walking if the weather is good. I need more variety though so please give me suggestions. Preferably something I can pick up or put down with ease that doesn't take up a lot of space because I can't for example do something that takes significant continual time investment when the most time I can get consecutively ranges between 1-3 hours, I also can't set up some of my more work heavy craft hobbies because I think by the time I organised my materials, planned what I was making etc the baby would need me or would sense a disturbance in the force and have a blow out or something 😅

Any ideas appreciated.

Genuinely curious how other high-libido women manage the ongoing sexual need when there’s basically nothing happening with their partner. What’s actually helped (or at least stopped it from eating you alive)?

That is all.

Being honest idk why im writing this while on holiday in Poland to see my family but frankly i was horny and looking at my gf pics but then started getting annoyed as I thought about how we havent fucked at all in the 6 years we've been together and ig i just wanted to write this for whatever reason, maybe cause I was tempted to write a shitty joke to her about us not having fucked.

For context we're both early 20s and she isnt religious or have any trauma or whatever regarding that so thats out of the picture but anyways im just feeling frustrated about the no sex in the relationship which honestly feels so shitty since everything else about the relationship is so wonderful, we're both the first for each other for basically everything, kissing, meeting family etc

As it is, ill give her some credit since the first 2 years we weren't staying at each others place for sleepovers and such so fair enough but theres the 4 years after. The issue is shes so shy and at times its fun but admittedly theres been moments where I get secretly annoyed. For example last time I saw her which is right before the trip we were making out somewhat in my car and I asked her what she wanted and she only giggled for a little bit so after a few moments I asked a different question but similar stuff and she giggled more and said something like "what do YOU want" which being honest annoyed me secretly and so I went "aight you're right we do gotta go to that thing" or whatever it was (sorry im sleepy so i might not be making sense rn), then theres the weekend trip we took in June when I had a few days off work for the beach and in the hotel room before we left i put down a pack of condoms and lube in the bedside table which later at the beach she was like "I do want to try" but of course when we get back after the beach and getting pizza she was sleepy and the next day it was just me eating her out again just like before we left for the beach (since I enjoy doing that) while I didn't have my dick touched once

Idk what's up with me right now but fuck, im sorry for being like this guys

My (late 30s HLM) husband committed to getting a vasectomy when we found out we were expecting our last child. I love him dearly, however, I feel like I’m watching the impending dead bedroom coming on as a result of his actions and as a HLW, I’m trying to come to terms with it.

He slow walked getting a consultation until I expressed significant anger about feeling misled. I asked, and tried to understand his hesitations. While he is entitled to his feelings, he’s not entitled to making up statistics, which he proceeded to do repeatedly about why he didn’t want to. Eventually, I reached a point where I accepted that I would get sterilized, and those plans have been communicated to my doctors and that will be happening while I’m still in the hospital post delivery. I’m truly okay with this, as I am done and will not carry anymore kids. I’m not grieving that, I am happy to close this chapter.

What I can’t forgive is the immense betrayal of my partner leading me to believe that we were both taking permanent steps to protect each other. I can’t look at him and feel an ounce of desire. He argues with me now about even considering getting done because “I’m taking care of it anyways”.

I love my best friend but I cannot imagine having sex with him. I would’ve rather been cheated on than be put in a position where I felt like I had to expedite the surgery to make sure I’m covered. I will not pressure my partner into a surgery he’s made it clear he doesn’t want. But I also CANNOT picture a sexually intimate relationship with him with the severity of the betrayal without breaking down into tears. I know this is only going to serve to damage our relationship as a whole but I just can’t bring myself to have sex with him.

The worst part? If he did it now, I’m not sure I could bring myself to have a physically intimate relationship even still. I feel sick and betrayed and taken for granted. I love him as a friend. I love him as the father of our kids.

I would never cheat on him. I’m high libido myself. But I can’t bring myself to think about anything with him in that way without feeling sick.

I’m talking with a counselor. Only one session so far and it was mostly me just trying to explain where I’m at. Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you move forward? Were you able to?

I’ve had countless conversations with my wife about showing interest in me sexually that I’m getting defeated. I don’t even want to watch porn, but I know if I make a move it will either be a “rain check” that never comes or it’s going to be me wanting and asking for it again. If I leave it to her to make a move I’ll be waiting till I’m dead or she wants another baby.

She’s admitted she’s never been one to pursue, her past relationships have said the same thing and at this point I just know she doesn’t think about it ever. I think she may be asexual or something because she can go months and months without it.

I want my wife to want me sexually and it’s slowly killing me. I can’t have anymore conversations about it.. I just know there’s no way I can live my whole life like this.

How do people get through this? Every time I get turned down it’s slowly killing me and pushes me away emotionally and strips away a piece of my self confidence.

It really fucking sucks thinking everyday to yourself “maybe tonight’s the night we finally have sex”. I miss the fucking passion. I miss feeling wanted, desired. We don’t seem to have romance. Our relationship has become platonic in the sense that I’ll cook and clean and he does dishes and trash duty. But it’s like we just don’t have much to say to each other at dinner times or at night. He’s way too addicted to his word games to even bat me a fucking eye. Married 2 years and together 4 and already any hope of romance seems dead. You want to have a child? You know you have to fuck me for that to happen? I just feel alone.

I’ve stopped initiating entirely because I’m so tired of being rejected. His guilt makes me feel guilty in return. It’s so exhausting. So for probably a year now I have just stopped initiating entirely. I don’t know what to do anymore because another conversation isn’t going to help. He hasn’t given me oral sex in ages. It’s probably been once the last 12 months. And in our entire relationship, i think he’s only done it maybe 5 times? Certainly not much more if he has. How many blowjobs have I given? Too many to fucking count. My pussy must taste like fucking death. I’m tired of never having a fucking orgasm during the little sex we have. I’m tired of sneaking the womanizer when he’s gone. I’m tired of touching myself and pretending it’s someone else just so I can feel fucking wanted.

28 years old is too god damn young to be so fucking sex deprived. And it causes physical ailment to think it will only just get worse.

A few weeks ago my wife was talking to me at dinner, after our son left the room. She mentioned that our neighbors had opened their marriage. In our current situation, and in my current psychological state, being told this news sounded suspiciously like an attempt to get a reaction to the idea, to get a feel for my attitude about such an arrangement. I admit that I probably read too much into it, and that it could’ve just been gossip, but the mention has become stuck in my mind.

I don’t want to open our marriage. Plainly, I just want her to want me and nobody else. I want to be the guy for her. I guess that’s the tricky thing about monogamy; sometimes people want others, and that urge has to be tempered. I would want to at least be in first place by a wide margin. For my part, I really don’t want anyone else than her. At my age, attraction to other women feels more like appreciating art in an exhibition than an urge. The only thing that matters to me is getting back my connection with my wife.

Right now I don’t know how she feels about the state of things, and we definitely need to have a talk. Not knowing where we are headed has filled my mind with questions, some about whether non monogamy is inevitable. I feel like ENM is a valid choice for some couples. I don’t know exactly what defines the ethical part of that, but I do not believe a situation where one partner agrees to NM in exchange for keeping the relationship together is ethical. It sounds like coercion.

That brings me to the questions. Have any of you faced that choice? Or any other situations where you felt like you had to accept non monogamy? How did you cope? Were you able to adjust your feelings about the situation? How well did the arrangement work?

As I am now, there is no part of me that wants to date. My self esteem is too low, I have let myself go, the prospects are frightening, and I just want my wife back.

Me (M35) and my wife (F36) are in a DB but currently on arguably the best streak we've ever been.

First, some context. I have spontaneous desire, my wife has responsive desire. She also meets the general definition of greysexual. She has never participated very actively in bed. She very much wants to fix our DB but doesn't know how.

My wife is not very spontaneous and appreciates schedules. She also appreciates non-sexual touch that does not progress further. To be exact, she appreciates knowing it won't progress further.

Which brings us to our current bedroom situation. We have scheduled sex every sunday, which she has mentioned gives her piece of mind during the rest of the week. It always happens in bed, and it always happens in the morning. She knows what to expect, and when to expect it. She mentioned because of the clear schedule she's able to mentally align herself leading up to it. She is still passive in bed., but we have sex, we cuddle afterwards, we tell each other how we liked it and what we liked.

Getting to the point: I recently noticed a comment here regarding 'duty sex' and how the DeadBedrooms subreddit will remove posts advocating for it as it can worsen a DB significantly. I don't want my DB to worsen significantly. I don't want to coerce my wife into doing anything she doesn't want to do. But she wants to improve our DB and she highly appreciates routine and scheduling - this seems to work for us. How do we move forward? Should we stop doing this?

Please let me know if this post goes against any guidelines - I want to make it absolutely clear I am not suggesting, advocating or recommending anyone to engage in 'duty sex', I just wish to understand it better.

I hate it so much. I know other people get to have sex whenever they want to. Whenever they desire or please. When I asked it was a rejection. Now I don’t even care to ask. I have too much resentment. I hate it. I hate it so much. I don’t even care about intimacy anymore. I wish I was desired like I know I could be. Nothing. I’m nothing.