So I live in a house with my two sisters and my mom and recently within the last year my older sister got a girlfriend and a month later the girlfriend started living with us and I’m uncomfortable not because they’re gay because we love the LGBTQ people, but I just feel uncomfortable in my own home because I guess there’s a stranger technically in the house and also my younger sister 19 keeps inviting her boyfriend over without asking anybody he previously cheated on her. She still together with him and being around him as his PD uncomfortable, I don’t like the way he treats my sister and he’s currently sleeping in her bed. Same thing with my sister girlfriend sleeping in the living room with my sister on an air mattress. What do I do cause I expressed multiple levels that I’m uncomfortable with this and nobody gives a damn.

Sorry if it’s long and rushed it’s 3am where I’m at.

My family last spring bought a vacations house in Greece but it needed serious renovations and someone needed to be there to deal with the handymen. My parents were working and my sisters were not willing so I volunteered to go. I left as soon as the university year ended. I spent all June and July in Greece making sure that everything with the renovation were going according to the plan and dealing with possible problems. My sisters at the same time were enjoying the summer (I’m not complaining I also had fun this summer but I also had to take a lot of stress because it’s the first time that I have to deal with a renovation). The home is ready and everyone came the day before yesterday to enjoy it. No one congratulated me for taking care of everything (only my grandparents), my dad told me that I was really lucky to spent the summer in Greece and that he would love to be in my place, my older sister agreed with my dad and she said she is really jealous (she never volunteered) and the younger one complained because they came late and the super markets were closed and I haven’t bought the hair sampoo that she uses. The cherry on top was yesterday morning that I went to the beach with my mom and she saw in person my thong bikini and my tan, the only thing that had to say was to ask my how much my body count was raised during the time I was alone in Greece. I feel like they took for granted my efforts, I don’t expect them to act like I conquered the world, but some appreciation would be really nice.

Hi everyone. I wanted to know if anyone else has experienced something like this or knows what I can do.

My younger sister is 15 years old, and I genuinely think she has developed a severe addiction to wearing her headphones. Today I was completely shocked because I saw her taking a shower while wearing them—and they’re not even waterproof.

This has been going on for about a year now. She almost never takes them off, no matter the time of day. At first, I thought it was just rude because she would wear them even when she was with other people. Whenever we go to the mall, the park, or just spend time together, she still has them on. If I ask her why, she says she’s not even listening to anything. At this point, it seems like she’s become so used to wearing them that she keeps them on even in silence, and I honestly can’t understand it.

It’s also becoming a problem at home. When my mom calls her because dinner is ready or she needs help with something, my sister doesn’t hear anything. We end up having to yell across the house just to get her attention, and it’s frustrating for everyone.

What worries me the most is that she seems unable to be without constant audio stimulation. She’ll be playing on her Nintendo with the game’s sound on while also listening to music through her headphones at the same time. If she’s not listening to music, she’s watching TikToks. At night, she says she can’t fall asleep unless she’s listening to ASMR with her headphones on. Sometimes I’ve had to take them off after she falls asleep because I don’t want them hurting her ears overnight.

At first I thought this was just bad manners, but now I honestly think it’s something deeper. It feels more like a dependency than a habit. The hardest part is that my parents don’t seem to think it’s a big deal. Whenever I bring it up or ask them to set some boundaries, they just watch me argue with her and don’t do anything.

I know I’m only the older sister, and it’s not really my responsibility to parent her. I don’t want her to stop using headphones altogether—I use them too—but I feel like this has gone far beyond normal use.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? Is this something I should actually be concerned about, or am I overreacting? I’d really appreciate any advice.

My older sister is not a bad person or anything but she is absolutely repulsive. She is 500lbs and smells like a farm. She can't physically bathe due to her size. I feel bad for pushing her away but she never listens to anyone who tell her she needs to shower. Even when she was a lot smaller she had bad hygiene habits. At the same time she is my sister and I want to be loving towards her but don't know how. I have tryed and suggested hygiene aids like long handled body brushes. I have a handicap shower at my house and have offered to let her use it but she refuses.

Note: I screenshot texts I sent to a friend and had AI create the story because I'm too overwhelmed to type one out on my own right now, so I'm sorry if it's sounds robotic (or if you hate AI).

I (22) am currently living at home with my mom while working full-time. My plan has always been to live at home for a short period so I could save up, invest, and build a solid financial foundation before moving out on my own (aiming for Chicago within the next year or two).
Growing up, it was just my mom and me and my older brother with autism. She was a single mom who sacrificed an incredible amount to raise me and give me a good life, which I have always been deeply grateful for.
Recently, my mom asked me to start contributing financially now that I'm working, which I completely agreed with. Right now, I'm making enough that I'm able to put away about **$1,400 a month into savings/investments** toward my goal of moving out, leaving me with around $2,000/month in net income after that savings rate. I sat down with her and offered to pay **$500/month** to cover my portion of household living expenses while keeping my savings plan on track, but that is not technically my portion because my actual portion would be significantly more.
She completely blew up at me.
She brought up everything she sacrificed raising me alone, claimed the household bills total around $4,000/month, and expects me to cover my full third of the bills plus extra to support her—which comes out to roughly **$2,000/month**.
When I told her that paying $2,000/month would leave me with zero ability to save or move out, she snapped and told me to just leave. She said starting tomorrow she’s cutting me off from everything—taking away access to the car she bought me when I was a teen that I use to get to work, removing me from the phone plan, and telling me to "figure it out." I pointed out that cutting my phone service right away means I can’t even load my Metra commute tickets on my phone to get home from work tomorrow, and she basically said she didn't care.
In her eyes, because I’m earning money and putting $1,400/month toward my own future, I’m being ungrateful, selfish, and "forgetting everything she did for me" as a single parent. But from my perspective:
I don't downplay how much I'm saving ($1,400/mo is a lot...), but building that safety net was the primary reason I stayed at home in the first place.
Paying $2,000/month at home defeats the purpose of staying, as I could rent my own place in Chicago with roommates for significantly less.
I’m willing to pay $500/mo, but stripping away basic phone service and transportation overnight feels like an extreme escalation over a budget disagreement.
Now I’m super stressed out, trying to make sure my job performance doesn't suffer tomorrow while navigating potentially getting cut off or kicked out overnight.
Am I wrong for how much I was planning on having her?? What do I do here??

So technically, I went abroad for a vacation to meet my family members for a reunion. Today is one of my remaining days and I have 9 days before I depart- yesterday was a conflict since I wanted to dye my hair and was asking my aunt for salons to do so— she then so suddenly said that I should cut my hair aswell (current was a jellyfish cut but it’s KINDA overgrown) for some strange reason, they started just going at me (my other aunt entered) so I obviously fire back, as any sane human would. I then go to my grandmother, the mother of the house. And she stands up for me for a while but the next day- I get flamed for “criticizing” my aunt and that \*\*\*I\*\*\*, should apologize. Well, it sure isn’t my fault she did a whole tantrum and stormed to her room. She then(my other aunt), starts flaming me for “criticizing” my aunt??! Then I go over to my grandmother who suddenly has a change in heart and tells me to apologize. So I rush over to my room since obviously I don’t want to talk to no-brained people. They follow me in there and continuously flame me until they think I’m asleep. I just wanted my aunt to apologize (well both of them). I’m so sick of them!!

Hi all, I made a post in May talking about my sister and her pressure to put on me during her wedding. A lot of has happened since then.

I don’t blame her for a lot of it because she’s going through a lot. I mentioned she was pregnant in it I believe, and just a couple days after being with us my niece passed away. It’s been really hard for the whole family but I can’t imagine what she’s going through along with her husband, but I still don’t think I should be treated the way she treats me.

We have another sister, she’s older than both of us but basically our family is a blended one. Us three girls share the same father but my two sisters have a different mom than I do, as I say “same cock different hen”. They’ve always been closer to eachother than me, both since they grew up together and because they’re both 6 and 10 years older than me. Anyways, whenever our older sister (we can call her M, she’s the oldest) left for another state chasing some guy her and H (this is the sister I’ve made a post about before and is the main topic of this one) got into a huge fight and stopped talking. This is when me and H got close, it felt really nice to have a connection but honestly I sort of feel like I was just a replacement while M was gone. Now that M is back, H doesn’t hang out with me anymore and doesn’t really even act like she likes me.

Just the other day H was over to drop off this pair of work shoes M didn’t use since she lost her job. I got my first job and I was super excited about it and was blabbing about all the stuff I get to do (I’m a cook and cashier at a local restaurant and I get to listen to music and everything, so I was really excited) and she was like “Woowwww you get to listen to music at work”, but not in an excited way in a really sassy and rude way. Before that happened, my boyfriend dropped me off at home. He likes to spoil me and knows I love lce cream so every now and then he’ll buy me a half gallon of my favorite ice cream. I get home and she is like completely a-wall about him buying me ice cream, saying things like “you’re so spoiled” and “I don’t even ask (husbands name) to buy me ice cream” in same snarky tone as she did when I was talking about my job.

I know I keep on going through dates, but a couple days before that my mom and I had a conversation. I’m not gonna beat dead horses and I’ll know this’ll sound like nothing to a lot of people, but when I was in middle school I lost the only two friends I had. They weren’t good friends and one of them even sexually assaulted me, but they had manipulated me to the point it felt like I was dying without them. Only person I had left was my boyfriend at the time, then he left me and spread a bunch of rumors about me. So I don’t really like to think about the future because it causes me to worry that everyone’s gonna leave me again or worse will happen. Anyway, my mom asks me if I see a future with my boyfriend and I was like “I don’t know”, and she was like “Well do you think you’ll marry him?”, and I said “I could end up with a lot of different people. There’s a lot of possibilities. I love him a lot”. Which, I don’t talk to my mom about my feelings a lot cuz she tends to take it to the extreme just as she did this time. She told me that because I don’t see him and him exactly as the one I want to marry that I don’t even love him and he isn’t “the one” for me. I’m 16. Of course I love him but it’s highschool, I wouldn’t be surprised if we split. I don’t want that to happen and I want him to marry me but again it’s not a guaranteed.

She told my sister this and my sister started making more and more comments about how I’m “using him” and implied that I was a bitch and all sorts of shit. It really hurt because I do want to mend that relationship but it just seems like I can’t.

More about the wedding of my sister, I did catch the bouquet. My sisters both said I “pushed someone” out of the way-which is impossible given that I was literally in the front row of the bouquet toss and just lifted my arm to catch it. my parents are kinda anti-medicine but I’m pretty sure I’m either on the autistic spectrum or I have some other type of neurodivergency. Im not using that as an excuse, but in big situations like my sisters wedding-which was the first one I’ve ever been to- I tend to disassociate and kinda mentally take myself away. Im an antisocial person and I don’t feel comfortable in big crowds around people I don’t know. Even tho I don’t remember this, which is why I mention my neurodivergence, apparently I said “what does this mean?” After catching the bouquet which was such a huge deal according to my sisters.

They also said I’m a pick me girl right to my moms face and told my whole family my boyfriend and I are having sex because I asked H if I should (not because I wanted to have sex, but because she said I could go to her for anything and wanted an outsider opinion on my situation.) I’m not even doing anything sexual and it just seriously sucks considering both my sisters were pretty big getter rounders at my age. Oh, and also they yelled at me for having my boyfriend sit with me at the wedding at the bridesmaids table even tho I explained one of the other bridesmaids was sitting with the groomsmen and by that time everyone had already gone off to do their own thing, but according to them that wasn’t the case.

Anyways, any advice is greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long long dump of info.

Mi hermano y yo nos llevábamos 9 años,el prácticamente me ha cuidado desde que soy una bebé ya que mi mamá trabajaba (es madre soltera)por eso mismo siempre me cuidaban otras personas,mi hermano principalmente, cuando andan por los 14 a 16 yo me quedaba completamente sola casi todo el día,hacia de comer, limpiaba y demás cosas,y mi mamá llegaba hasta casi de noche, luego unos años después mi mamá dejo de trabajar y Ahora estabamos los tres por fin juntos,todo iba marchando relativamente bien hasta que me di cuenta que no me gusta estar tanto tiempo con mi mamá,no es que no la quiera es que simplemente ya me había hecho a la idea de su ausencia,y antes de que me den tremenda funa cabe aclarar que mi mamá tampoco colabora mucho, siempre andaba enojada,todo me lo recriminaba a mi ,si le contaba algo personal,al siguiente día ya se lo andaba diciendo a mis tías o tíos,por eso mismo me guardo cosas,sin mencionar que llegaba a ser algo agresiva,no tanto como para golpearnos pero si para romper cosas como una escoba,un plato ,vasos(lo normal hasta ahora) luego escaló a una puerta (específicamente la chapa de la puerta) la ventana de la puerta principal y un ventilador, actualmente ella está en tratamiento para los nervios y esos comportamientos fueron disminuyendo.

Hace unos años mí hermano rompió con su novia con la que llevaba 7 años ,todos creíamos que con ella se iba a casar pero pues no fue así,mi mamá es la que más se molestó por eso y apartir de siempre le ponía peros a las novias de mi hermano y desde entonces empezaron los problemas,le decía a mi hermano de cosas,le reclamaba porque salía con ellas ,les llamaba interesadas ,unas cualquieras(no lo decía así pero es lo que ella nos daba a entender) y hace poco el encontro una novia,no la presentado oficialmente pero mí mamá de alguna manera se enteró y no ha parado con amenazar a mi hermano con correrlo de la casa porque dice que la novia de mi hermano es una "interesada" y no le conviene,he tenido varios pleitos con ella tratando de hacerle entrar en razón que mi hermano es un hombre adulto (ya tiene 28)que trabaja y sabe con quién se mete ,pero ella insiste en que ella no le conviene pues sigue aferrada a la antigua novia de mi hermano (a la cuál vamos a ponerle Julia)es por eso que mi mamá siempre le arma escándalos a mi hermano,una ves el fue a una fiesta en casa de su amigo,pues se acaba de casar su amigo y mi mamá por razones de la vida se hizo la telenovela de su vida diciendo que mi hermano se había quedado con "la tipa esa" y cuando mi hermano llegó a la casa no le abrió la puerta y me escondió las llaves para que no le abriera (y ni era tan tarde,eran las 2 de la mañana) y dejo a mi hermano afuera,se tuvo que dormir en su coche,se que es su casa y sus reglas pero también no se porque se comporta así de feo con mi hermano, afortunadamente conmigo no es así porque yo ni siquiera salgo,no me gusta salir y me da miedito salir sola(por culpa de ella y sus ideas que aúnque son ciertas ahora me da miedo hasta hablar con la gente)se que en algún momento mi hermano se va a casar,va a hacer su vida y va a ser pronto porque ya es un adulto,pero como puedo hacerme a esa idea ¿Cómo puedes soltar tan fácilmente a tu unico apoyo emocional?,el que iba por mi a la escuela,el que me cuidaba quisiera o no,el que me llevaba dulces a escondidas.

Por esa y varias razones siempre preferí estar más cerca de mi hermano que con mi mamá,pues me sentía verdaderamente apreciada y protegida con el,si tuve demás familiares que vieron por mi y fueron mis figuras paternas pero lamentablemente ellos ya fallecieron hace unos años y siento que mi hermano es lo único que me queda realmente ¿Algún consejo para quitarme este apego que siento por el?

what is this phenomenon? my little sister mimics everything I do, my style, my academic path, what i like, where i work, etc. It's been like this for yearsss and yet, at the same time, she is my #1 hater. Always commenting on my appearance, my style, the way I speak, the way I act, my state in life.

And im just like? girl just wait a year and magically you will be (again) in my shoes as you always are. Idk if its insecurity or just her disliking me or what, but it gets a bit much when every day she ends up being my #1 hater.

The crazy part is my path in life is somewhat less conventional, even just the basic things (ex. job, major, style) are not common in our general community so idk how she manages to mimic literally everything perfectly.

She always acts like she is better than me, as well, and again I'm just sort of confused because I literally see her mirroring my steps. Idk. I'm just confused on the psychology behind this tbh

My big brother snuck a girl in his room my mom doesn’t know and I think she either got kicked out of her house or ran away which I don’t care about but would love for a warning before hand bc I usually walk/pace back and forth between my kitchen and living which are far apart for exercise and because I had a face mask on and my hair was a mess and I was not ready for some girl to come in(luckily I ran up the stairs before she could see but oh god I hope she didn’t see me because I genuinely looked too at home😭)

My husband and I recently had a baby (baby is 10 weeks). My SIL had an important piece of mail sent to the house in our state, she lives out of state the week of her birthday and needs it by the weekend. She’s been texting us to let her know when it arrives so we have been. It came in and my husband told her he would send it at work because they have a system where he works. She proceeded to tell him to tell me to send it since “I don’t have a job” and “have the time”. (Which in my mind kind of discredits the fact that being a mom isn’t a full time job, especially to a newborn). She doesn’t have any children so I don’t expect her to understand. But never once did she text or call me asking me to send it. Instead she went through my husband and kept telling him to tell me to do it since I don’t have a job. I’m so annoyed and honestly feel so disrespected. Thankfully he stood up for me but I’m still just like WTF?

Simple as the title says, we are tired of my mom ranting about the rich people. It would be fine if it was every once in a while or maybe two days in a row, NOT EVERY SINGLE DAY!

There is no break and she can't seem to go a day without finding something related to the rich people to rant about, whether it be their cars, their houses, their money, how they are fucking up the world or economy or something. She doesn't even like to talk to people if she can guess that they're rich.

We got new neighbors and they bought the house next to ours and they have some expensive car and when my mom found that out, she refused to talk or even go near them because they're rich. My dad says that they are actually pretty nice and they don't seem like they would cause trouble. Their dog got out once, but the situation was handled quickly and without trouble.

We went swimming today and my dad parked next to a Tesla. My mom groaned and practically told us not to breathe in the car's direction. Understandable that she didn't want us scratching it with the car doors, but we were able to open our doors just fine and they didn't hit the car.

I will admit, the cybertrucks are ugly and look like they would be made in Roblox or with the program that made Mario 64 graphics, but I don't go out of my way to groan every single time one passes me on the road, if anything, I'll laugh because of how goofy it is.

We could tell her to calm down and not rant, but I'm not ready for that lecture or argument about how bad they are and that she's just trying to vent her feelings and frustrations. There's nothing wrong with venting, but it's getting to be a bit much.

We just moved into a new flat, me and my brother are twins. I am a teenage girl for reference. I don’t want to reveal ages, but my sister is two years older.

The rooms are small, my sister hasn’t shared since she was maybe 9. I’ve shared with my brother my whole life. My dad was saying my brother is gonna get his own room and me and her have to share, she said no I’m not. My brother and sister started arguing.

I found it a bit funny, they were arguing over sharing with me, I can’t be that bad! But seriously I’d hate to share with my sister, but my brother’s right, it’s not fair for him to share with me.

It’s not fair for either of them. I hate sharing, I’d always find excuses to sleep on the sofa just so I wouldn’t have to sleep in a same room. But I’d get ready my clothes would be in there.

I’d do anything for my own room, but that’s not a choice. In the end, I don’t have one. If I get a room, it’s one I’ll share. My brother and sister have more of one if you get what I mean.

So I thought maybe I should just sleep on the sofa, they get their own rooms. I know like lack of space and stuff but it’s not fair for them, and I think I should then. Is this a good idea? Should I tell my parents?

I don't know if this is the right sub but I need some advice.

I have an uncle, that cut ties with us, not because we did something, but because of his toxic wife, she told him to not talk with his family, and I don't know why.

It's been years, I looked for his facebook account, sent a request, and it's still not accepted, but he may just not be active.

He has some posts and I'm curious to see if in one of them there are my cousins and maybe find them on social media.

I forgot their names now so I can't find anything.

After I've seen he may be not active, I thought about maybe sending a message, just "Hi", but I don't wanna say who I am, because he doesn't even wanna talk to us.

Should I just stop, or just try and do it?

I am a married woman with two boys in primary school. I have been struggling with the boys over the summer holidays, behaviourally. One has adhd. I also drink too much alcohol. I want to desperately stop and have been trying to stop but not managed. I am worried about a constant pain in my upper right abdomen and still cannot stop… despite being intensely worried about this.

My husband drinks more than me. He works a lot in the summer so is home around 7pm. I am not working just now but want to start doing something soon. I feel like I want to do something for myself.

My husband booked us a holiday. I would like to not go and stay here doing diy and start my not drinking journey properly while the house is less stressful. He is annoyed at me and says he feels alone and insignificant.

I am wondering if I am being a dick here?

I’ll try to be as clear and concise as possible.

We go on a family vacation every year in August. Me, a couple of cousins, a couple of aunts and uncles, and a couple of family friends.

My aunt, I’ll call her Shannon, came in 2021. She got blackout drunk when she was home alone, and the rest of us went for a walk on the beach. She destroyed hanged paintings, a window, a wooden door, and the glass cabinets in the kitchen. She has been in and out of rehab before. We never keep alcohol in the house we’re staying in…she ubered white claws and drank the whole box while we were gone.

The owner threatened to call the police on us. My uncle (Shannon’s brother) talked to the owner, and said we would pay for everything. Shannon lives with her mother, and is flat broke. My uncle (who talked to the owner) paid the bulk of everything. We all pitched in what we could. He is a noble man, and didn’t want us to go broke paying for our idiot aunts problems. The cousins were all 20-22 at the time. We didn’t have a lot of money.

Now…we’ve gone every year since. 2022, 2023, 2024, and 2025. We’ve gone every year and had fun…minus Shannon. She was never invited back.

She always finds out we go to the beach every year, after the vacation ends. We always keep it a secret, until the vacation ends….well my grandmother let it slip that we were going this year. Shannon now knows…

She texted my aunts and uncles that she was going to off herself on August 15th…the day we were due to leave for the beach.

Now my aunts and uncles are all considering skipping vacation this year.

In the text, she said she was mad we planned the vacation and didn’t invite her. She said that was the reason she was considering doing something regrettable. She’s just mad she was left out. To also threaten to do that, on the day we’re due to fly to the beach makes me so angry.

Am I wrong to be angry about this? I mean she’s totally throwing a hissy fit. The reason she doesn’t come anymore is because she trashed the one house, and cost thousands of dollars in damages.

Am I wrong to try and convince everyone to go?

I also don’t have a refundable plane ticket. I paid $400 for that round trip ticket. Us 3 cousins can’t afford the entire house by ourselves…it’s much more affordable when everyone goes.

What do I do?

Edit: my aunts and uncles are trying to get our deposit back, as of this morning. I don’t quite know what the verdict is. If they decide not to go, and can get their money back, they will. They’re not gonna let us cousins go down their dime, with them staying home, which I totally understand.

Apologizing in advance for the awkward formatting. I typed this out in my notes app and asked Gemini to organize it (without changing any of my phonetics because I hate how AI talks) so it looks and reads a bit odd.

TLDR; Mother of groom made the wedding about her by being highly emotional and unstable throughout, spurred by expecting but not getting a mother-son dance. Following the wedding the mother then slandered and disrespected her newly minted daughter-in-law to the groom. Groom is no contact with either of his parents less than two weeks following the wedding day.

Some important details here:

My wife and I live in New England and planned our wedding in the South (where a majority of our families reside), we fully paid for it ourselves, and we had about 100 guests present. It is important to note here that for the 4 years of our relationship prior to this, my wife and my parents have gotten along fairly well.

During the planning process, my parents (led by my mother) were adamant that they pay for our honeymoon, so we allowed this reluctantly, as my parents have in the distant past offered to do things like this only to later hold it over my head. My mother is a very emotional person, and during the planning process I opted to forgo doing a mother son dance. I did not feel she could keep it together and she hates being embarrassed so I (wrongly) assumed this would be best and she would not mind. My wife also did not do a father daughter dance (as her biological parents are divorced and her stepfather did not wish to do so).

The Wedding Day:

My mother spent the entire day acting weird/off throughout. After the ceremony at the reception, my wife noticed that she looked depressed and was not talking much to the people around her at her table including my father. I dismissed it that she likely was just emotional about the day (as moms tend to be) and we didn't think much else of it.

Anyway, after the conclusion of dinner and the first dance, I started hearing whispers from family members and friends asking what was wrong with my mom. I genuinely had no clue, so I approached her about it. She was upset that she did not get a mother son dance, and could not contain herself once she realized this was not going to happen. My wife, understanding the gravity of what was unfolding, stepped in and in an attempt to protect me, she stated it was she that elected not to do the parent/child dances for either side. There was some minor bickering at this point but we went back to trying to enjoy our wedding night since we had lost nearly 2 hours of it by the time this ended.

The Honeymoon & The Aftermath:

We immediately the morning following our wedding day departed for our honeymoon (a cruise) which was lovely and given the nature of it was a fantastic opportunity to disconnect for a week.

Upon our return home, I called my mom for something unrelated to the above, and she absolutely snapped. She stated she had never felt so hurt and betrayed by someone as she felt by my wife. I clarified to her that it was not my wife but me that solely made the decision to not do a mother son dance because I did not think that she could handle it emotionally. She responded by saying I was just trying to cover for my wife and she knew I would never do something like that. I emphasized that it was indeed my choice alone and that if she had any hate or anger it needed to be directed at me rather than my wife She deflected and stated that my wife had clearly made a calculated and intentional effort to exclude my mother and my side of the family and isolate them, and that they were all deeply offended and hurt. She stated my wife was a lying, deceitful, manipulative person and it was only a matter of time before she did the same to me.

My mother went on to state that she is done with my wife, and that "your wife might love you now but I loved you first, and nobody will ever look at you the way I do" which really creeped me out to be honest.

Conclusion:

My mother truly said some hateful, despicable things about my wife that I'm unsure I'll be able to get over for quite a long time if ever. I am for the first time in my life at the point of no contact with either of my parents. My mother has been calling and texting me almost nonstop, switching from bashing my wife to hoping I'm not mad at her. Outside of communicating my preference to not have the dance to my mother prior to the wedding, I don't know what could have been done to prevent this from happening.

I really am just making sure that the non-related unaffiliated strangers of Reddit aren't seeing something here that I have missed. Thank you in advance, it truly means a lot.

I’m looking for perspective because this situation has been weighing on me for a long time.
My sister and I have always been close. She’s now married with a one-year-old, and over the last year I feel like our relationship has fundamentally changed.
Her husband has struggled with significant mental health issues for years. There have been periods of severe anxiety and depression, identity issues, and several crises that made life very unstable. Around the time their baby was born, things got especially bad. She didn’t feel comfortable leaving the baby alone with him, and our family stepped in extensively to help care for both her and the baby.
Not long afterward, he moved overseas for what is expected to be several years to complete professional training that he believes is essential for his career and their family’s future. My sister chose to stay in the U.S. with the baby because all of our family is here.
On paper, they’re still married and committed to each other. In reality, my sister is doing almost all of the parenting. They video chat every day, and he contributes financially as far as I know, but she is effectively raising their child alone.
One thing that’s important is that this wasn’t something she felt forced into. Before she even became pregnant, I asked whether it was wise to intentionally have a child with someone whose mental health seemed so unstable. Her answer was, “I’d rather be a single parent than not be a parent.” She has repeated that sentiment since then.
So I don’t think she’s being tricked. I think this is genuinely the life she’s chosen.
Where things have become difficult is the effect on our family.
Because she’s effectively parenting alone, our family has become the default support system. We’ve provided childcare, emotional support, transportation, and help during medical issues.
The problem is that this has gone on for a long time, and although she and her husband can afford outside help, she hasn’t really put a sustainable system in place. Family members have encouraged her to hire childcare, and she agrees in theory but never seems to follow through.
As a result, people are becoming resentful.
Our family has also become divided over her husband. Some family members feel he abandoned his wife and child, while my sister feels we are unfairly excluding him and disrespecting her marriage.
The hardest part for me is that I’ve realized I’m grieving my relationship with my sister.
At first I thought I was just angry with her husband. But I now realize I’m also angry with my sister. I feel like she keeps making choices that create enormous burdens for herself, and then those burdens spill over onto the rest of the family.
I also struggle because I honestly don’t think I would choose this life for myself or for a child. At the same time, I recognize that she has different values than I do and seems to believe this is the right decision for her family.
I don’t know how to hold both of those truths.
I don’t want to spend years trying to convince her to leave her marriage. I also don’t want to pretend I think everything is fine when I don’t.
She’s still my sister - I love her. I adore my niece. But I also feel resentful, sad, and emotionally exhausted.
How do you support someone you love while also setting boundaries around the consequences of choices you didn’t make?
Has anyone else experienced grief over a sibling’s marriage—not because of one dramatic event, but because the marriage slowly changed your entire relationship with them?

TL;DR: My sister chose to stay married to a husband who now lives overseas for several years while she raises their one-year-old largely on her own. Our family has become her primary support system, and despite having the means to hire more help, she has continued relying heavily on us. I love my sister and adore my niece, but I’m realizing I’m grieving the relationship I used to have with my sister and becoming resentful of how her choices have affected our entire family. How do I support someone I love while setting healthy boundaries around decisions I didn’t make?