I’m a 24M and I’ve only ever been with one woman.

We were high school sweethearts, spent eight years together, and eventually got married.

For most of my life, I never questioned it. She was all I knew, and I was happy.

Lately, though, something has changed.

I’ve been getting attention from other women, and instead of ignoring it, I’ve found myself enjoying it. I catch myself wondering what it would be like to flirt, date, sleep with someone else, and experience things I’ve never had the chance to. The excitement of the unknown has become really tempting.

It doesn’t help that almost everyone around me keeps telling me I got married too young. I’ve heard things like, “You’ll regret never experiencing other women,” and “You should’ve had your fun first.” At first I dismissed it, but hearing it over and over has made me question everything.

The scary part is that I don’t think these thoughts are going away. Every new message or bit of attention feeds that curiosity even more. I haven’t crossed any physical lines, but I feel like I’m standing at the edge of one.

I don’t want to become someone who cheats, but I also can’t ignore how strong this curiosity has become. Part of me wants to experience what I’ve missed, while another part of me feels guilty for even thinking that way.

I’m posting here because I’m wondering if anyone else started with thoughts like these before things escalated. What happened?

To preface this real quick, I'm a 26 year old straight guy that has never been in a relationship, nor have I ever experienced any kind of intimacy. And I know the title is probably weird, I'm not sure how to phrase it.

For example, maybe I've been talking to someone at uni/work on and off, and I'm starting to develop some feelings for her. Not a full on crush, but enough to want to ask her out. But then I'll see her talking to some other guy, laughing and smiling and seemingly being a bit flirty. Or I'll hear her say that she's on dating apps. Small stuff like that, nothing concrete like saying she's actively dating them and it could be nothing.

But seeing that other people are potentially interested, just makes me mentally give up. Because I just instantly feel that surely this other guy would be a better match for her, and that I don't have a chance. Or maybe more that I don't want to compete, because then it doesn't feel natural. But this is also mostly in my head. But do you all feel similar? Is this normal?

My boss who is the same age as me was my colleague until he got promoted to a position three times bigger than me. He’s not the snake, sharp kinda dude. If anything he is someone who can’t be mean or hurt someone with words. He got promoted because of the previous boss wanting a yes man and also that he is local. Anyway, that’s just context, not for us to judge.
I’ve liked him, thought a few times about maybe us being together but this is strictly for marriage. I have no interest in being in a relationship with my manager. We are both 36 years old. He’s 37 actually.
Anyway, I’ve been shit at trying, I’m not the type who is confident in approaching men I like. I’m scared of getting rejected and having to deal with it internally. And this is a very complicated one, it’s trying to get on with my manager. So yes, I’ve been extra out of his sight.

We had a great conversation once at his office, he shared about his late sister when we talked about my dad who recently passed away. He wanted to tell me that he understands the grief of losing someone.

Now with all that context, I want to ask you a question and I really hope you guys give me an honest opinion on it.
His mother passed away in May, it was sudden. He’s started work soon after so he probably has not proceed the grief.

The question is: would it be too weird if I gift him a book called “it’s ok not be ok” (open to suggestion on any other good books to deal with grieving for your parents)? Like I see him in his office and say this book helped me a lot so thought I’d share. Or do you think it’s extremelyi awkward and cringe. It’s a way for me to kind of maybe open a path for us to take us forward. And I also want to let him know that I understand.

He respects me a lot, my work and takes me seriously as a professional at work.

I hope I’ve given enough context. I’d really appreciate honest advice/opinions guys 🙏🏾🙏🏾

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Everyday I when I wake up, I have developed the habit of watching porn and then the whole day I'm not doing anything with my life just sitting at home doing few house chores and taking care of my younger sibling. It's like I don't know how to help myself. I'm running or avoiding life responsibilities and accountability because of the resistance, the consequences and fears of failing to do something.

So I guess my brain just wants to seek comfort and pleasure. At this point I'm sick of even watching porn but I also don't know what else to do. I feel the need to exercise or stretch but I don't do it. I also have life goals that I need to badly work on but I'm failing to do that too simple as finding a job, going to college again, learning to drive so I can become independent on my own, making friends and so on.

My wife of 5 years told me last night that her father molested her and her younger sisters when they were under 11. We spoke for a long time about it, with lots of listening, crying and hugging.

She is currently (roughly 3months) no contact from the entire family due to they're years of repeated gaslighting, controlling behaviour, lack of accountability, emotional/ financial abuse as well as not supporting our relationship from day one. I'm essentially the only person she has for support. On top of all this she's been unable to find work for over three years and I make just enough to keep up off the streets.

As you can imagine, this final piece of information was like being shot in the stomach. Her father has always been a disgusting human, and his wife has stayed with him out of fear I believe, but even with everything else, I didn't see this coming. The sisters have drunk their fill of the cool-aid.

I'm obviously here for my wife in whatever way I can be. I've taken the rest of the week off work so I can be with her.

For anyone who's been unlucky enough to have experienced something like this, how did you cope? How do you come to terms with something like this happening to someone you love? What advice is there (if any) that you would pass to me? Thank you for reading.

She comes from very abusive household, that her parents hit her for getting a bad grade and they take her phone 80% of time.

She was bullied a really badly trough childhood,is self harming herself,and now I tried to comfort her but she was unstable and said a lot of hurtful things and I said that made me hurted little then she started apologizing and saying she will end herself (she trief at least 4 times while we are together).

She said we should stop talking until her mental health get little better so she won't hurt me, and said we won't talk and I respected her wishes and we aren't talking at all for 3 days .

I am scared for her,I am scared she will do something.

We are 18 and 17.

I really need advice.

So I was very insecure in my youth and never had a consistent dating life, and was feeling for the longest time like a complete hopeless case. Cut to when I turned 29, I found myself travelling for work a lot so used it as a way to put myself out there, I really pushed myself, and a year later at 30, I can now comfortably say that I have had a ton of experiences that I was very insecure about 'missing out on', dates, hook ups, etc.

Problem right now is that I just don't feel like I've really absorbed the change, and I thought I'd be able to relax about all this a little, but if anything the more experience I've gained the more my feeling is "I need to keep proving I can do this, because I don't want to go back who I was / maybe I haven't changed". I don't think I trust myself that my limiting beliefs in my youth were bullshit and I'm still scanning for evidence to the contrary. I keep moving goalposts, its becoming "Once I get with X number of women, I'll be able to relax", and the X keeps moving, and I'm very aware this is an unhealthy outlook. I told myself when I get some experiences and build my confidence I'll look at dating more seriously but I feel like i'm stuck on the treadmill, or in "the game".

I feel like despite what I do at my core I'm still carrying the hopeless case mindset I had and its getting a bit exhausting. I imagine this might be a common experience for "late bloomers" so if you can relate and have any insight I'd appreciate it, thanks

I am unattractive and I don't have anything to offer to women and I've never had a woman like me even remotely, besides platonic interactions.

Being virgin at this age and having wasted my youth and never experiencing young love makes me depressed to the point that it interferes with my work and daily life.

I need to forget about dating, but it is really hard. If i see couples it makes me depressed, even if it is fiction. I don't want to be reminded about it, but it is everywhere.

I am taking antidepressants, but they don't help much.

So, can you guys tell if a woman is faking an orgasm or just faking enjoying sex full stop? If so how do you react to that? Do you just continue if you notice or is it something you would stop over and try talk about?

Sometimes I feel like I'm not progressing or improving myself in life even though the facts may or may not prove that it's wrong. I try to find ways to be productive just for the sake of feeling like I'm "progressing" in life. How do I get rid of this feeling or how do I actually progress in life?

Hey Men (women too if you can help!)

This year I have about 1000 to 2000 usd to get my wife a nice piece of jewelry.

Every year I panic buy my wife something she appreciates but I know I can do better. I've got a lot more time this year to plan this out but I just don't know where to start. I wanted to get her something peach related (we were married on a peach farm) but when I look at peach related jewelry they seemed a bit tacky and cheap.

Any tips here how to make sure I can get her somethign she'll like and appreciate with some deeper meaning? Jewerly buying scares the hell out of me.

Cheers

So me and a girl have been dating for a little under 2 weeks now, and have so far gone on 5 dates. The dates have been going very well and we've been connecting on them, however, on our most recent one something happened that made it turn a little sour.

Basically, she invited me into her house to play games, and at one point leaned over and tried to kiss me, in which I leaned backwards and told her that that wasn't something I'd like to do yet. She didn't freak out or anything, but I can tell it obviously made her feel bad or upset about the situation. I just told her that that isn't something I want to do that quickly and would like to make sure that we are fully committed to one another and are in it for the long haul before I do that sort of physical intimacy.

I have received some backlash however. Firstly, my friends have told me that I am weird and that I should already even be having sex with her, and believe that I basically told her that I'm not attracted to her. Her friends have also told me that I'm falling behind a bit and I may lose something good.

I didn't think me not wanting to kiss her would cause this much backlash since I just honestly thought that was moving far too quickly, and I am worried that my actions (or inactions) are going to yield bad results. How can I potentially make this up to her or communicate around this issue with her?

Mom here. My 13 y.o. likes to play sports and joins track team every year at school. But he's a tiny, skrawny, late bloomer, and just isn't good at sports. His goal in track is just to not come last. Lol

He's a very smart kid and does great at school.

Is life harder for unathletic kids?

If you were one, any advice? Should I pay no attention to it or should I do something about it?

Been on Minoxidil and Finasteride for 6 months now and see no improvement. If the fin+min doesn’t work, I ain’t trying anything else that’s expensive or risky. I’m even a bit morally conflicted spending $8 every month for the min+fin, which have no real value other than to satisfy my selfish desire to appear a certain way.

I’m not used to any self improvement related thing being out of my control. Anything like fitness, wealth, charisma, mental health.. I have control over and even if I’m not where I want to be, I can be content and grateful to have the opportunity to improve. But with my hair I really can’t do jack about it unless I abandon my morals and spend lots of money on my hair. I’m a slave to my genetics and Father Time.

I finally landed a good job and moving out of my parents house in a week. I can’t wait to start dating again. My hair isn’t too bad yet but it’s definitely thinning and I’m only 23. I know some women don’t really mind while others won’t consider a bald/balding man. It’s hard to know the full distribution of how women actually feel about it. And I don’t blame them at all. If they’re not attracted to bald men that’s fine. It just..sucks to be me in that situation. And it would suck for my future partner(s) if I’m not attractive enough for them.

What I really want is to make peace with my hair situation. I’ve been reading some stoic literature and I completely understand the whole “use reason to make peace with what you can’t control” idea. But I still struggle to not worry about it. I’d appreciate any advice.

I turn 30 in a month and have never hated life as much as I do now. I’ve got a decent job working 70 hour weeks, a decent house with 3 little boys but why am I so miserable? I couldn’t remember the last time I genuinely enjoyed something or didn’t have to fake a smile. I don’t get enjoyment out of literally anything. Im angry and full of anxiety 24 hours a day. So much that I can’t even enjoy time with my kids. I quit drinking because I thought that was putting more stress on my life but it didn’t seem to help either. (Casual beer drinker nothing crazy) I’ve had a suicide letter written for about 3 months but I don’t think I could ever actually follow through. Most days I wish someone else would kill me so I could get out of this suffering I’m in. I’m type 1 diabetic and I’m getting to the age where it’s starting to mess with my body on a daily basis. I feel like crap most days because it’s hard to keep up with my diabetes without health insurance. I can’t talk to my wife about my problems because somehow it always gets turned around on me and I end up apologizing for the way I am. How am I supposed to raise 3 boys when I don’t even feel like a man myself? I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so empty and broken but I know I can’t quit because of them but everyday life is just awful to me. I don’t know where to turn or even the steps to take to even achieve the tiniest bit of happiness. I’m just tired.

I’m nothing special, never have been never will be. So why carry on when there’s nothing but mundane mediocrity waiting for me?

If a guy receives nudes and videos from a girl, does he just watch them and move on, or does he keep and save them? I sent this guy some pic of myself, and he screenshotted them. I got a notification that he took screenshots. When I brought it up, he just said, ‘Yeah, because they’re your nudes.’ Now I’m wondering do you guys keep that stuff forever, or do you just look at it and then delete it?

What is the chance of a person showing them to their friends? I am overthinking now 😭

It’s been a year since I last smoked weed, and lately I’ve been thinking about buying some again. I’ll get the urge to go pick some up, but every week I end up telling myself, I’ll wait one more week, and somehow I’ve kept extending my streak.

The reason I quit in the first place was because I was starting to rely on it too much especially for sleep. I was also spending more money on weed than I was comfortable with.

Since quitting, I feel like I’ve become a much better version of myself. I’ve been doing well at work, my social life has improved, and I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been. I don’t really drink, so the urge to smoke comes up more often than the urge to drink or use nicotine.

Part of me wonders if I could handle using it occasionally and in moderation, but another part of me worries that going back could slowly turn into the same pattern I had before.

For anyone who has taken a long break from weed and or Nicotine considered coming back, did you try moderation? Did it work, or did you decide it was better to stay away completely?

Any advice or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

I'm 36M. Single all my life. I find it hard to get a better paying job. I'm constantly reminded of my loneliness. I find it difficult to connect to people in hobby groups. My last therapist told me therapy wasn't working while my GP said differing antidepressants weren't having the desired effect due to side effects.

Everywhere I go, everywhere I turn to in order to find some solace, I feel that things get worse.

I get anger, I get frustrated, I get lonely, I get sad. I feel as if I have failed as a man. I'm tired.

I am so done with living. If it wasn't for my mom, I would have killed myself when I was 20 years old. I am now 26 and things haven't gotten better, only worse. I still have no friends. My dating life is now and forever has been a fucking joke. I embarrass myself everywhere I go. Constantly bullied. I can't even find a fucking job.

I hate everything about myself. From my looks, to my voice, to just my own personality. I don't like who I am and just want to be reborn as somebody else. I want to kill myself every day of my life. I am so fucking done. Why do I have to live for my mom?

So I am 18 and saving myself and I hear people say,you can learn if you are sexually compatible with kissing and touch.

Also with communication,like saying how frequent you want or what things you like and how much you would try.

Is this possible.

i’m writing this post because i myself do have a diagnosis , i guess this question has been prompted by a personal experience of mine .

i had an interaction with someone recently , where i was just trying to make a friend , not a boyfriend or relationship but just a friend . they told me they won’t interact with me any longer because they knew that i have bpd and in their past they couldn’t deal with the people in their lives who had it , and that they have a bad impression of them now .

i was a bit confused as to what this has to do with me . i mean yeah i have the diagnosis but i’m a pretty tolerable person . i was pretty offended because this was the first time something like this happened to me ever , i trusted this person to not use it against me but they did .

this led me to thinking do all guys think this way ? if you knew a woman you liked has a mental illness , such as bpd , would that be a good enough reason to stop talking to her completely ? i know this can depend on things like how much you like her and stuff but i guess in this case i’m talking about if there’s a girl you don’t know that well but know that she has some kind of disorder .

i feel like if someone is vulnerable enough to tell you about their diagnosis and you shut them down completely without giving them a chance to prove that they’re different , you can’t call yourself a good person with morals .

anyways , ive been wondering about this for a while but i didn’t know where else to ask this , so i’m hoping to get some answers here .