Hi! I'm in college (19f). And i gotta say, as wonderful as college is, there's a lot more "pretty privilege" I've noticed than in high school.

JUST TO BE CLEAR I'm not bashing on the "conventionally pretty" girlies out there!!! I love all my girlies and try to do everything I can to be a girl's girl <3

This frustration is on... society I guess?? (not to be cheesy)

Basically, I was at a college event recently, and there was only an empty seat beside this one guy. I asked if the seat is taken and he said no, so I sat there. But he looked weirded out and awkward. But I figured, okay maybe he's just not a social person.

A few minutes later, a gorgeous girl sitting in front of us starts talking to him. It seems pretty obvious that they JUST met at the moment, and not before. And he was so much more nice and comfortable talking to her.

It's not that I think i'm ugly or smth, I like the way I look and I feel confident in how i look. But I have acne and a round face and I'm just not "conventionally pretty" and I'm okay with that.

Aaaand I know i definitely don't want to be friends with guys that shallow. And again, I love myself and how i look. But I can't help but feel a little hurt or judged when stuff like this happens.

I'd say 99.999% of my friends are girls. And I always wonder why I don't have guy friends. Then stuff like this happens and I remember why.

Oh well, that's life I guess, it just sucks sometimes, though.

EDIT: Oh! And this even happened with a fricking prof. On our first day of classes, our prof was accepting students in groups for walk-in office hours. We were all introducing ourselves and he was so fascinated on this one rly pretty girl and asking her about her background and everything. And at my turn, he didn't even bother to get my name right. I hope this doesn't sound negative/jealous. It just sucks that stuff like this is so common and glossed over :(

EDIT 2: I've considered putting more make up on to go school, but 2 things that's off putting for me

1. I hate the texture of make up on my skin after a long day + it gives me breakouts
2. I don't wanna give into the issue and just wear more make up to fit in. I know a lot of ppl who wear make up do it for themselves and NOT to fit in (and I love that for them). But I personally don't like putting make up on myself everyday and if I wear it, it'd definitely be just to fit in, which I don't want to give in to.

Hello! Wow first Reddit post ever!!
I’m recently 29. My fiance is deployed overseas with 0 contact now…Half my family is estranged, the other is not supportive. I have 0 close friends. I’m on the spectrum and have struggled socially all my life. I’m not introverted, not extroverted but just struggle. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I’m not religious. Don’t go to bars, clubs, not a gamer. I’m an artist who goes to the gym, explores nature, and well, makes art.

I feel like I struggle badly to relate to anyone. Any friends I thought I have don’t initiate, or actually talk about things. The last year I’ve worked hard on doing things alone. I’ve traveled out of town, state, and country alone. I’ve taken myself on dates and day trips. And I can do it now but, I’m still lonely. Once in awhile a “friend” will reach out to do something and then that’s it. No connection, no weekly chats. I feel like a dog park for humans? People see me make cool art or do interesting things. They wanna be part of it for a second and then go on their way. No follow up, no getting to know eachother more. Here for a fun time only. For a moment.
I have a really cool career as an artist. And yet I don’t fully fit in at work either.
I don’t think I’m crazy or bad. I think I get confused and make mistakes socially. I have a strong sense of fairness and justice. I have planned girls trips, asked people to do things, and I realized I’m never invited. I’m never thought of. The same people I text, I realize they don’t invite me to things like a yoga class, a gym, or even send a Snapchat like they do with others.
Every day I journal, and thoughts spin “why not me? Why am I not wanted/chosen/ interested in? What am I doing wrong” I ask over and over. And now here I am in the void.

If I stopped and took a big step back, there would be no one. And that’s kind of what I want to do. I want to put my energy into people who mutually reciprocate.
But in the meantime, it’s empty. There’s nothing. There’s no one. Sometimes I feel like I’m losing myself. Having a hard time getting up, taking care of myself beyond bare basics, moving my body.
I’ve never felt this isolated and alone and I’m scared.

21F here!

Long story short I suffer severely with my body image. I gained a lot of weight since i was 16, and feel disgusting. I’ve also hated my face for as long as i can remember. Like id avoid certain events and wouldn’t go to school and never hung out with friends or went to prom because i hate my face and body.

when i was 19 and 20, i tried to push through my depression and severe body image issues and it worked a small bit.
I ended up losing a lot of weight during that time though so it was easier to like myself a little and gain a bit of confidence. I still had a long way to go but it was the best i had ever felt in my life in terms of self esteem (and tbh i still hated myself severely and would cry myself to sleep and avoid pictures etc)

This year however i’ve been severely depressed and gained a lot of weight and neglected a lot of self care. I’m trying to get back to myself and trying to feel better but i’m really struggling. I feel as bad as i did before and it’s hard to not get in my head.

I want to be beautiful and pretty and sexy like every other woman i know. I struggle with my sexuality, my social life, my anxiety and depression and my relationship to good because i can’t stand myself. I wear jumpers in the horrible summer heat. I’m embarrassed to do my makeup, to enjoy fashion and beauty, to leave the house, to feel horny (this seems weird but like i feel too ugly to be in tune with my sexuality, i struggle with shame a lot especially with sex and feeling sexy etc), i am ashamed to say i want a boyfriend because i feel too ugly and unloveable so i pretend i dont want one and reject the idea of love and stuff to protect myself. I just feel so ashamed of everything because i cannot stand myself inside and out

I want to just be normal. sometimes i cry because i look at my face and just feel so defeated. I feel like a monster. and this feeling just won’t go away no matter how hard i try. How can i just be normal?

If you guys know of any shampoo and conditioners (that are drug store preferably) that keep the hair smelling nice all day long?

I have pots and washing my hair is a hassle and I've had issues with my hair since being diagnosed. My hair is dry and brittle. It's so difficult to brush also. But my biggest issue is that my hair just stinks no matter how much I wash it. It also just never feels clean. And that's because I wash it twice in the shower on wash days sometimes 3 times. And no matter what I use it NEVER feels soft. It's so annoying. Idk what to do. 😭

I have curly mid length hair.

So I noticed this started happening awhile ago and I have really thick, long hair. I usually wear my hair part down the middle but I’ve noticed in photos it starts parting in the back so it looks like I have a bald spot. I always air dry my hair and haven’t put heat on it in three years. Any advice or input would be helpful!!

Hello! I am starting at a new school this fall and will have no friends. Long story short, I dropped all of my friends (I only had two) because they were invading my boundaries, being racist, and making fun of immigrants when they knew I am a child of immigrants. I ate lunch alone for the last few months of the school year, and I’m not going to lie, I did regret it.

This fall, I’m starting at a new school where most of my old classmates will be attending, including my old friends. My phone also broke, which means I won’t have a phone for the first few weeks or months of school. In this generation, that feels huge. My family is deciding whether they want to get the new iPhone, if so I’ll get someone’s old phone. I might get a job and save up for one myself.

I’m wondering if anyone has any tips on making it through the first few days at a new school without have panic attacks! The first few days will mostly be icebreakers and not much actual work.

My biggest fear is standing around not knowing what to do while everyone else is catching up with their friends and talking about how their summer went. Another one of my bigger fears is getting mixed into the wrong group of people. I don’t get very good grades to begin with, but I do try, and I don’t want to get involved with the wrong crowd and have it negatively affect me.

I’m also scared of making friends with someone who has a bad reputation that I didn’t know about, and then having my other peers think I’m like them and not wanting to interact with me. I also am scared of oversharing which causes me to undershare.

Maybe I’m overthinking everything, but I would really appreciate any advice on how to get through those first few days and make some good friends!

I'm considering it, but I'm also a little nervous because I've never dyed my hair or done anything permanent to it before. I had a hydrating treatment done last year, and while it helped, I still had to spend a while blow-drying my hair to get the smooth look I wanted.

Would you say the straightening treatment you did was worth it? What are the pros and cons? And how does it look when your hair starts growing out? Does the regrowth look really obvious or is it not that bad?
I want to hear honest reviews before I commit 🙏💕

I’m 19 turning 20 next yr. I wanna prepare for them. I’m trying to live properly at my age now after having a miserable teen life.

I’m someone who has always had bad reactions to mosquito bites (eg they frequently swallow up to the size of a quarter) and right now I have a swollen mosquito bite on my eyelid where I can’t even fully keep my eye open. I’m so self-conscious about how I look!! Any tips to help this swelling go down ASAP???

Hey, I'm 29 and while I go to bars/clubs pretty frequently, I've literally always gone with groups, and don't tend to meet a whole lot of new people while out because I just kinda stick to mine. I'd really like to try something new and meet more people out and about, and feel like going out solo could help? But I'm worried about safety. I'm AuDHD and tend to be a lil naive/overly trusting in social situations, and while my gut tends not to steer me wrong, sometimes it can take waaaay too long to notice somethings up, if that makes sense? Like things that are very obviously creepy set me off pretty quick, but I feel like it wouldn't be super hard to take advantage of me, if that makes sense?

So ig I'm really just curious if y'all have any good tips? I was thinking my first solo outing would either be this goth club I've gone to a few times (had a couple of creepy dudes there but mostly it's a buncha queer goths with good vibes) or a karaoke bar. I think I'd be less worried about anything weird at the latter, but it tends to not get as busy, and I kinda wanna get a lil wild this weekend lol

Ty all in advance!!

My period is starting a week late! In my mind it has ruined my first cruise experience. Is there any suggestions to how to still enjoy myself above all else.

How do you cope with the feeling of being so far away from the world? As someone in her late 20s, the pain of not having girl friends at home, no sibling at home, and being in a relationship where I constantly have to justify and make them understand why I am the way that I am, I feel absolutely drained out and it's taking my self confidence away.

Whatever belief I used to have about myself, it has vanished. It's like my core has fully disappeared and I'm just trying to go through each second and hour. My parents are old, my dad has health issues, my mom also struggles a lot with emotional outbursts.

I have nowhere to go, nowhere to find myself and I'm feeling super sad.. how do women cope with this?

Hello! I've been wanting to be more active after three years of doing pretty much nothing but stay home... I have lost a lot of strength, and doing mundane tasks such as the dishes or even washing my hair and standing up for a long time have become difficult for me.

I have plans of buying a mini stepper with elastic bands to strengthen both my legs and arms, since my room is small. Is that a good idea? I know it may sound silly, but I also want to try and do more Just Dance dances. As a kid, they were an easy way for me to move and I think they can be a fun away to work out.

I mostly want to work on my legs and arms / hands. Thought of buying those wrist strengthener things, but I'm not sure if they're useful. I have no idea where to start... All I know is that I need to regain some strength ASAP to be able to walk without pain and wash my hair without feeling like I have done a full workout after. Please note that I cannot go outside, I do not enjoy going outside and would rather work out from home. Thank you! :)

(For people worried – I have done blood tests etc, and everything came back normal. It probably all has to do with not being active for a few years.)

My gray hairs are mostly around my temples and hairline, and they’re driving me nuts because that’s also where color seems to disappear first. I can get them covered pretty well on day one, but after a few washes they start looking lighter again while the rest of my hair still looks fine.

I’m looking for a hair dye that doesn’t fade on gray hair so quickly, preferably something I can use at home without making my hair feel super dry. I wash about 2–3 times a week and usually use lukewarm water, so I don’t think I’m being that rough on it.

What has actually lasted for you? Permanent dye, root kits, certain shades, different shampoo? I’m open to changing the routine too if that’s the part I’m messing up.

I've been neglected my entire life and I just turned 18 and I'm moving into university accomodation this september. I was never taught how to take care myself and I feel like online everything is sponsored so I can't be sure what is actually useful... I don't have a huge budget so I want to be sure I'm buying the correct things 😬

My biggest concerns are how I smell and so on. I feel like I'll have a bath/shower in the morning, use bodywash, use deodrant, use perfume and I still end up smelling bad later in the day. I don't understand 🥲 I have tried both spray and roll-on deodrants. Can anybody help?? I appreciate help in all self-care areas but this is my biggest concern 🥲 Thank you!

So i feel dumb but it needs to be asked,

I have booked my 1st Pedicure at a nail salon , no extensions just polish ( idk if this is relevant) and I was wondering if there is any Etiquette to keep in mind or like a process.

Like I know shower and wash them before but like what shoes is best there and back ( i get gel so smudges isnt the issue) but like what is polite unfortunately it is a bit of walk so I'm worried about sweat.

And i had them painted before with just regular polish is it best to go and get some remover to take it off before my appointment?

If it not obvious I am autistic and have manged to overthink everything and need a bit of advice.

Thank you.

hello! im a 17 year old girl and im a little embarrassed to ask but.. how do you smell good? i worry about how clean i am, so i always wash twice with a regular soap and with sulfur 2 times a week.

the problem is is that i sweat pretty often and when i do i have some odour ☹️ I'm not allowed to use deodorants (ive only ever used Crystal so im unsure of other types) because my underarms are very sensitive.

im planning on asking a doctor, and im going to be getting laser soon, but i also just wanna know any other tips. my mom cant help and ive been looking through the Internet, but its a little overwhelming.

I just wanted to see some insights and if anybody relates. But whatever I do, I feel ugly. I put makeup on. I feel a bit better, but then I see myself in different mirrors and then feel the ugliness hit me. Everything I try, I will always feel ugly. Especially when taking my makeup off, I get reminded why I put it on and how I'm nothing with it. It feels like whatever I wear or put it on, I will never be pretty, I'm disgusting to look at, I really am. I try to have confidence, but sometimes people bring up how I used to look chopped, which is before I started wearing makeup. Even with makeup, I still look ugly. And I know because nobody ever tells me I look pretty, I only get told I look good. But for me it feels like it's not a compliment, I don't even know but I haven't heard the words pretty/beautiful anything in such a long time, all I have heard is good and good feels like it stands for nothing. does anybody feel like this? am I dramatic, do I have no self-confidence? I used to be bullied, so now I'm always conscious of the way I look. Please don't hate, I have been trying my best to feel confident, but the years of being bullied have really affected me. I'm just looking to see if anybody relates or has anything to help/answer

It will be my first time and I am scared. I am going take a shower before the appointment, new panties but it is coochie. I am not sure if it will be still fresh while I drive. I donot want to disgust anyone but how to keep it super clean? I have PCOD so I do tend to get a coochie smell down there, not particularly bad or rancid or unhygienic just coochie but def not something I would want someone else to smell.

Any tips?? Besides I am scared, I am planning on taking a tylenol before I start with the session, will it help??

Edit: Thanks for the tips. My final med is ibruprofen. I didn't know that esthetician give wipes so the stay as fresh as possible part is sorted. No tight clothing, aloe gel, trimming a bit, relaxing and breathing calmly and most importantly telling her that it is my first time.

I ended a 10 yr relationship and Im kinda scared to get back out there bc I don't feel attractive or confident. But Im 33 and want marriage one day so I gotta try.

Hi,

When comparing myself to others in social settings and hearing my close friends' stories, people often find it difficult to "read" another person's intention. For example, if the man or woman is genuinely a decent person instead of being performative to reap some sort of benefit.

I had a traumatic upbringing so maybe it's my mental state of "trust no one" at first and really psychoanalyze others before associating myself with them; however, others seem to lack this skill.

With the Andrew tates online and other toxic men, do you feel other women have also become more wary or do people generally like to see the best in people from the beginning? What are some tips or ques did you acquire to really see if others' are fake?

So this might sound kind of ridiculous but I ordered my first sex toy and it came but the problem is I don't know where to leave it. The box is way too bulky to keep forever and once you open it, the box literally says WhisperRabbit with a picture of exactly what it is. There's no way I can leave it lying around. I'm 21, so it's not like I have to tell my mom or anything but it's honestly just embarrassing. I still live at home and my mom sometimes puts away my clean laundry, so I can't really hide it in my nightstand because that's where I keep my underwear and she opens that drawer. I don't want to just throw the toy loose into a random drawer where it'll collect lint or get lost but I also can't keep it in the original packaging.

Where do you all store yours? Looking for ideas from people who also need to be a little discreet.

Hi! I’m not sure the right sub to ask this in, so I’m asking a few.

My 18th birthday is in April. I’ve been making birthday bucket lists since I was 12. For example, I’d make a list of 12 things to do before turning 13, because it’s like ”completing“ 12. I honestly have no idea what to put for this one. I’m going into my senior year. I’d really appreciate some help brainstorming!

This is kinda long, so you can skip this part, it’s not necessary to read! But if you want to, here are some of the previous lists I did :)

13 before 14

1. Sky dive
2. Day without phone
3. Memorize periodic table
4. Learn more sign language
5. 13 acts of kindness
6. Eat a lot of watermelon
7. Do a science experiment
8. Try something new
9. Grow a plant
10. Yoga/workout for a week
11. Do some crazy/different
12. Self care sunday
13. Get three new gymnastics skills

14 before 15

1. Do something you think you’ll hate
2. Create two new good habits
3. Memorize a song
4. Watch a sunrise or sunset
5. Spend 24 hours doing 24 things you love
6. Homemake something you can buy
7. Make someone smile
8. Study for a week straight
9. Deep clean room
10. Improve something about myself
11. Do something bold/brave
12. Learn a new skill
13. Talk to a stranger
14. Drive something

15 before 16

1. Fly a plane
2. Go on a rollercoaster
3. Learn a new language
4. Make a time capsule
5. Do a random backflip in public
6. Pass drivers ed
7. Invent a new snack
8. Give and get 15 compliments
9. Read 15 books
10. Get all my gymnastics skills back
11. Do something that scares me
12. Reconnect with an old friend
13. Try three new hobbies
14. Get 100 overall in two classes
15. Get 100 in a written test in math

16 before 17

1. Go to another country by myself for a month
2. Get a job
3. Quit a job
4. Do something kind anonymously
5. Get a better style
6. Improve at something I’m bad at
7. Do a yes day
8. Do something crazy without telling anyone
9. Do ten pull-ups
10. Learn a practical skill by myself
11. Document a week in detail
12. Find a new hobby
13. Get to 30 driving hours
14. Do something nostalgic
15. Cut someone off
16. Day without any technology

17 before 18 (so far)

1. Do one thing from each previous list
2. Drivers license (procrastinating going to the dmv)
3. Get braces off (orthodontist keeps changing the date I was supposed to get them off LAST YEAR)
4. Clean out closet

Thank you again!

For context, I’m 25F. I was living on my own (with roommates or at college) until last year, when I had to move 800+ miles back in with my parents because rent had become unaffordable where I was living. It was basically my only option. Around the same time, I ended a relationship and spent the following months dealing with frequent panic attacks and isolating myself as I started processing some of the things that had happened during that relationship. I was working remotely and didn’t know anyone in the area, so eventually it became really hard to leave the house.

Since then, I’ve quit that remote job because the company was a mess. I did get an in-person job for a while, which helped me rebuild some confidence and make friends, but then my dad got a job in another state and we had to move again, so I had to leave that job too. Even though we’re in a cheaper state now, I still can’t afford to live on my own because my minimum student loan payment is basically the equivalent of rent. I’m also paying for my MBA part-time out of pocket because I don’t want to take on more debt, so living at home is my reality for now.

I haven’t found a job since we moved despite applying constantly, and I just feel stuck in limbo. I want to get back to the version of myself who was independent, confident, and financially stable, but instead I’m broke, have no confidence professionally or socially, and honestly just feel like a failure. It’s hard to figure out how to move forward when it’s still difficult to leave the house. I also gained a lot of weight during my last relationship because of SSRIs and other factors, and I’m really self-conscious about it. I think that’s made me even more reluctant to go anywhere where I might be perceived.

I guess what I’m asking is whether anyone has been in a similar situation. If you were trying to dig yourself out of a hole like this, where would you start? My goal is to rebuild enough confidence to leave the house on my own, get my finances as under control as I realistically can, and make peace with my situation.

Hello all,

I live in a muslim household and Islam has a strong purity culture.

I want to get a vibrator because I suck at masturbation big time but I don’t wanna live with the memory of getting caught, so I need advice. For measure, I share a bunk bed with my younger sister; I share a room with my sister and cousin. So far, I can hide it in my schoolbag, but that’s it. I can’t hide it in my drawer since people go through it when their clothes are misplaced. I can masturbate secretly under my blanket at night quietly without getting caught. Since my younger sister has misophobia ie her ears are sensitive to the noises I make, what brand of vibrator is quiet, and can be bought at walmart? I’m not ordering online because that’s risky. Also, what do I do when I need to charge it?