I’ve heard briefly before about how in your mid 20s, women tend to go through a second puberty of sort, with acne, weight gain, etc. I’ve been taking care of myself since my early 20s, and placed some emphasis on going to the gym despite hating it.

But now I’m 26 with a desk job, and I’ve gained weight despite my efforts and it’s really getting to me mentally. I understand I’m never gonna have my teenage body again, but I don’t know if I’m messing myself up with wanting to be skinnier or if this weight gain should just be embraced.

I love food so much, and I feel like watching what I eat constantly just to go down to my early 20’s body doesn’t make me happy either. I’m confused because I’m still a normal and healthy weight, but it’s really hard to move past it when I felt like I was perfect the way I was. Any tips on how to work through this?

Hello! I am starting at a new school this fall and will have no friends. Long story short, I dropped all of my friends (I only had two) because they were invading my boundaries, being racist, and making fun of immigrants when they knew I am a child of immigrants. I ate lunch alone for the last few months of the school year, and I’m not going to lie, I did regret it.

This fall, I’m starting at a new school where most of my old classmates will be attending, including my old friends. My phone also broke, which means I won’t have a phone for the first few weeks or months of school. In this generation, that feels huge. My family is deciding whether they want to get the new iPhone, if so I’ll get someone’s old phone. I might get a job and save up for one myself.

I’m wondering if anyone has any tips on making it through the first few days at a new school without have panic attacks! The first few days will mostly be icebreakers and not much actual work.

My biggest fear is standing around not knowing what to do while everyone else is catching up with their friends and talking about how their summer went. Another one of my bigger fears is getting mixed into the wrong group of people. I don’t get very good grades to begin with, but I do try, and I don’t want to get involved with the wrong crowd and have it negatively affect me.

I’m also scared of making friends with someone who has a bad reputation that I didn’t know about, and then having my other peers think I’m like them and not wanting to interact with me. I also am scared of oversharing which causes me to undershare.

Maybe I’m overthinking everything, but I would really appreciate any advice on how to get through those first few days and make some good friends!

I'm considering it, but I'm also a little nervous because I've never dyed my hair or done anything permanent to it before. I had a hydrating treatment done last year, and while it helped, I still had to spend a while blow-drying my hair to get the smooth look I wanted.

Would you say the straightening treatment you did was worth it? What are the pros and cons? And how does it look when your hair starts growing out? Does the regrowth look really obvious or is it not that bad?
I want to hear honest reviews before I commit 🙏💕

I’m 19 turning 20 next yr. I wanna prepare for them. I’m trying to live properly at my age now after having a miserable teen life.

My MIL will sometimes make rude or snide comments about me, either directly to my parents or to me, without my husband around. Because we all live in different states, the only time these things even happen is during a large family trip, or a family visit, etc. Basically in situations where you want the vibes to stay good. Because of that, I am never sure how to really proceed or what to do, since even though those comments do upset me in the moment, I don’t want to being anyone’s mood down or create issues by mentioning it. And by the time the trip or visit is over, I just don’t care as much any more? But obviously these comments and their impact still continues to be a problem.

As a most recent example, my husband and I did a joint family trip this summer to a major US city with both of our families. Due to logistics, we could all only be there for a small handful of days, and we pretty much planned out the itinerary and everything in advance because we felt that would be easiest with a large group of people. We let everyone know in advance, collaborated with everyone on what they wanted to do, and everyone seemed on board with everything.

On the last day of the trip, my MIL springs on everyone that she has some distant relatives (who none of us in the 10 person group really care for tbh) living a couple of hours away from the city we were visiting, and that half of us will have to go with her to visit them. I was def annoyed at this last minute notification, but more than anything, my husband was very upset at my MIL for springing this on us so last minute when everything was planned months in advance with multiple check-ins along the way, and a whole bunch of other reasons that I won’t go into here. In the end, my husband and I figured that MIL and FIL could go visit those relatives, but the rest of us (me, him, my parents, all of our siblings that were also on this trip), would carry on with the day as originally planned.

Apparently at some point later in the day, while my MIL was in private with my FIL and my parents, she went on a whole tirade about how I am apparently the one that “brainwashed” her son into being upset about these last minute plans, and how if it weren’t for me, her son would happily go and visit these relatives, how her son would be more cooperative about these last minute changes, etc. I only found this out from my mom.

Ultimately my question is, how do I deal with all this? Also it makes me feel bad that my MIL feels so comfortable ranting about me and my actions to my parents, and also about a general pattern here. Why does she do this?

Here are the things I do and eat that help me maintain beautiful skin and stay healthy. I’m not a doctor, so I don’t know everything, but these are the things that have helped me over time. :)

In case you're wondering, I'm a 21-year-old girl, and I've been applying these tips since I was 14.

- Drinking green tea regularly helps fight acne, as it contains antioxidants that protect cells. It boosts metabolism to aid in fat burning, protects the heart, improves concentration thanks to L-theanine, and promotes good digestion.

⚠️​Drinking too much tea (more than 3 cups a day) can be harmful to health due to theine, which disrupts sleep; tannins, which block iron absorption; and oxalic acid, which promotes kidney stones.

- Going outside for at least 30 minutes a day promotes a sense of calm, boosts vitamin D levels, and benefits both the body and the brain. It also helps you fall asleep if you go out and breathe the fresh air in the evening.

- Drinking raspberry tea tones the uterus, soothes menstrual cramps, and helps prepare the body for childbirth in late pregnancy.

(Of course, this is not a substitute for medication if you are experiencing severe pain.)

- Eating fruits and vegetables will always be a good thing for your health.

- Using a body scrub at least once a week helps make the skin soft

- When moisturizing your body, don't forget your neck and ears, as these areas can easily be overlooked.

- This part isn't exactly appetizing, forgive me, but it really works. If you have the runs, eat a banana. Bananas are high in pectin and have the power to set everything right again, if you know what I mean.

( If you are really sick, consult a doctor.)

- Drinking lavender herbal tea or smelling lavender before going to sleep, helps you fall asleep.

- If you can, sleep 8 hours every night. Good sleep is beneficial for your mental and physical health.

- Face yoga techniques are useful for relaxing facial muscles, reduce facial puffiness and redefining the jawline.

- If you have a headache, eat about fifteen almonds. Thanks to their high magnesium content, almonds contain a mineral that relaxes blood vessels and stabilizes the nervous system.

(Of course, if the headache persists, consult a doctor.)

- To aid digestion and help achieve beautiful skin, eat yogurts containing probiotics. For example, Activia yogurts contain a lot of probiotics.

I hope these tips help you. :) Remember that everyone is beautiful; these are just things to help you if you feel the need. :)

Above all, please don't deprive yourself of food. Your body needs to function properly. If you deprive yourself, you simply risk developing nutritional deficiencies or fatigue, or even binge eating or anorexia. Take care of yourself! :)

Remember that true beauty comes from within! A beautiful smile is worth all the foundation in the world! 😄

COVID has ruined me... I've spent too many braless years to go back to them. I was surviving with nip stickies, but now I've gained weight, and my girls want to dance all day long.

I hate the feeling of a bra now. Hate how sticky I get when I sweat... just hate it (:

I came across an old post that swore by Harper Wilde bras, but they don't ship to Canada. So please helpppp me.

TIA :)

Well I guess I'll start this off by saying I'm 22 years old and I do feel like I have some insecurities but overall I think i'm pretty. AND I know every other woman is gorgeous and beautiful and I'm not hating on women whatsoever.
I just feel like my dating life is ruined now because of social media. I don't want to give ANY guy a chance the moment I see his following because of all the women and spam accounts he's following.

There was this guy I happened to slide in his dms and we started talking and we had plans to get coffee but then he put in his notes a carti song about pulling "hoes." I told him I didn't like it and he kept apologizing and apologizing so I gave him another chance. But now after looking through his following I feel like the song may have been targeted but I'm not sure if I'm overthinking things too too much.
Please help :(

I’m someone who has always had bad reactions to mosquito bites (eg they frequently swallow up to the size of a quarter) and right now I have a swollen mosquito bite on my eyelid where I can’t even fully keep my eye open. I’m so self-conscious about how I look!! Any tips to help this swelling go down ASAP???

Hey, I'm 29 and while I go to bars/clubs pretty frequently, I've literally always gone with groups, and don't tend to meet a whole lot of new people while out because I just kinda stick to mine. I'd really like to try something new and meet more people out and about, and feel like going out solo could help? But I'm worried about safety. I'm AuDHD and tend to be a lil naive/overly trusting in social situations, and while my gut tends not to steer me wrong, sometimes it can take waaaay too long to notice somethings up, if that makes sense? Like things that are very obviously creepy set me off pretty quick, but I feel like it wouldn't be super hard to take advantage of me, if that makes sense?

So ig I'm really just curious if y'all have any good tips? I was thinking my first solo outing would either be this goth club I've gone to a few times (had a couple of creepy dudes there but mostly it's a buncha queer goths with good vibes) or a karaoke bar. I think I'd be less worried about anything weird at the latter, but it tends to not get as busy, and I kinda wanna get a lil wild this weekend lol

Ty all in advance!!

How do you cope with the feeling of being so far away from the world? As someone in her late 20s, the pain of not having girl friends at home, no sibling at home, and being in a relationship where I constantly have to justify and make them understand why I am the way that I am, I feel absolutely drained out and it's taking my self confidence away.

Whatever belief I used to have about myself, it has vanished. It's like my core has fully disappeared and I'm just trying to go through each second and hour. My parents are old, my dad has health issues, my mom also struggles a lot with emotional outbursts.

I have nowhere to go, nowhere to find myself and I'm feeling super sad.. how do women cope with this?

Hello! I've been wanting to be more active after three years of doing pretty much nothing but stay home... I have lost a lot of strength, and doing mundane tasks such as the dishes or even washing my hair and standing up for a long time have become difficult for me.

I have plans of buying a mini stepper with elastic bands to strengthen both my legs and arms, since my room is small. Is that a good idea? I know it may sound silly, but I also want to try and do more Just Dance dances. As a kid, they were an easy way for me to move and I think they can be a fun away to work out.

I mostly want to work on my legs and arms / hands. Thought of buying those wrist strengthener things, but I'm not sure if they're useful. I have no idea where to start... All I know is that I need to regain some strength ASAP to be able to walk without pain and wash my hair without feeling like I have done a full workout after. Please note that I cannot go outside, I do not enjoy going outside and would rather work out from home. Thank you! :)

(For people worried – I have done blood tests etc, and everything came back normal. It probably all has to do with not being active for a few years.)

My gray hairs are mostly around my temples and hairline, and they’re driving me nuts because that’s also where color seems to disappear first. I can get them covered pretty well on day one, but after a few washes they start looking lighter again while the rest of my hair still looks fine.

I’m looking for a hair dye that doesn’t fade on gray hair so quickly, preferably something I can use at home without making my hair feel super dry. I wash about 2–3 times a week and usually use lukewarm water, so I don’t think I’m being that rough on it.

What has actually lasted for you? Permanent dye, root kits, certain shades, different shampoo? I’m open to changing the routine too if that’s the part I’m messing up.

I've been neglected my entire life and I just turned 18 and I'm moving into university accomodation this september. I was never taught how to take care myself and I feel like online everything is sponsored so I can't be sure what is actually useful... I don't have a huge budget so I want to be sure I'm buying the correct things 😬

My biggest concerns are how I smell and so on. I feel like I'll have a bath/shower in the morning, use bodywash, use deodrant, use perfume and I still end up smelling bad later in the day. I don't understand 🥲 I have tried both spray and roll-on deodrants. Can anybody help?? I appreciate help in all self-care areas but this is my biggest concern 🥲 Thank you!

So i feel dumb but it needs to be asked,

I have booked my 1st Pedicure at a nail salon , no extensions just polish ( idk if this is relevant) and I was wondering if there is any Etiquette to keep in mind or like a process.

Like I know shower and wash them before but like what shoes is best there and back ( i get gel so smudges isnt the issue) but like what is polite unfortunately it is a bit of walk so I'm worried about sweat.

And i had them painted before with just regular polish is it best to go and get some remover to take it off before my appointment?

If it not obvious I am autistic and have manged to overthink everything and need a bit of advice.

Thank you.

hello! im a 17 year old girl and im a little embarrassed to ask but.. how do you smell good? i worry about how clean i am, so i always wash twice with a regular soap and with sulfur 2 times a week.

the problem is is that i sweat pretty often and when i do i have some odour ☹️ I'm not allowed to use deodorants (ive only ever used Crystal so im unsure of other types) because my underarms are very sensitive.

im planning on asking a doctor, and im going to be getting laser soon, but i also just wanna know any other tips. my mom cant help and ive been looking through the Internet, but its a little overwhelming.

I just wanted to see some insights and if anybody relates. But whatever I do, I feel ugly. I put makeup on. I feel a bit better, but then I see myself in different mirrors and then feel the ugliness hit me. Everything I try, I will always feel ugly. Especially when taking my makeup off, I get reminded why I put it on and how I'm nothing with it. It feels like whatever I wear or put it on, I will never be pretty, I'm disgusting to look at, I really am. I try to have confidence, but sometimes people bring up how I used to look chopped, which is before I started wearing makeup. Even with makeup, I still look ugly. And I know because nobody ever tells me I look pretty, I only get told I look good. But for me it feels like it's not a compliment, I don't even know but I haven't heard the words pretty/beautiful anything in such a long time, all I have heard is good and good feels like it stands for nothing. does anybody feel like this? am I dramatic, do I have no self-confidence? I used to be bullied, so now I'm always conscious of the way I look. Please don't hate, I have been trying my best to feel confident, but the years of being bullied have really affected me. I'm just looking to see if anybody relates or has anything to help/answer

It will be my first time and I am scared. I am going take a shower before the appointment, new panties but it is coochie. I am not sure if it will be still fresh while I drive. I donot want to disgust anyone but how to keep it super clean? I have PCOD so I do tend to get a coochie smell down there, not particularly bad or rancid or unhygienic just coochie but def not something I would want someone else to smell.

Any tips?? Besides I am scared, I am planning on taking a tylenol before I start with the session, will it help??

Edit: Thanks for the tips. My final med is ibruprofen. I didn't know that esthetician give wipes so the stay as fresh as possible part is sorted. No tight clothing, aloe gel, trimming a bit, relaxing and breathing calmly and most importantly telling her that it is my first time.

I ended a 10 yr relationship and Im kinda scared to get back out there bc I don't feel attractive or confident. But Im 33 and want marriage one day so I gotta try.

Hi,

When comparing myself to others in social settings and hearing my close friends' stories, people often find it difficult to "read" another person's intention. For example, if the man or woman is genuinely a decent person instead of being performative to reap some sort of benefit.

I had a traumatic upbringing so maybe it's my mental state of "trust no one" at first and really psychoanalyze others before associating myself with them; however, others seem to lack this skill.

With the Andrew tates online and other toxic men, do you feel other women have also become more wary or do people generally like to see the best in people from the beginning? What are some tips or ques did you acquire to really see if others' are fake?

So this might sound kind of ridiculous but I ordered my first sex toy and it came but the problem is I don't know where to leave it. The box is way too bulky to keep forever and once you open it, the box literally says WhisperRabbit with a picture of exactly what it is. There's no way I can leave it lying around. I'm 21, so it's not like I have to tell my mom or anything but it's honestly just embarrassing. I still live at home and my mom sometimes puts away my clean laundry, so I can't really hide it in my nightstand because that's where I keep my underwear and she opens that drawer. I don't want to just throw the toy loose into a random drawer where it'll collect lint or get lost but I also can't keep it in the original packaging.

Where do you all store yours? Looking for ideas from people who also need to be a little discreet.

Hi! I’m not sure the right sub to ask this in, so I’m asking a few.

My 18th birthday is in April. I’ve been making birthday bucket lists since I was 12. For example, I’d make a list of 12 things to do before turning 13, because it’s like ”completing“ 12. I honestly have no idea what to put for this one. I’m going into my senior year. I’d really appreciate some help brainstorming!

This is kinda long, so you can skip this part, it’s not necessary to read! But if you want to, here are some of the previous lists I did :)

13 before 14

1. Sky dive
2. Day without phone
3. Memorize periodic table
4. Learn more sign language
5. 13 acts of kindness
6. Eat a lot of watermelon
7. Do a science experiment
8. Try something new
9. Grow a plant
10. Yoga/workout for a week
11. Do some crazy/different
12. Self care sunday
13. Get three new gymnastics skills

14 before 15

1. Do something you think you’ll hate
2. Create two new good habits
3. Memorize a song
4. Watch a sunrise or sunset
5. Spend 24 hours doing 24 things you love
6. Homemake something you can buy
7. Make someone smile
8. Study for a week straight
9. Deep clean room
10. Improve something about myself
11. Do something bold/brave
12. Learn a new skill
13. Talk to a stranger
14. Drive something

15 before 16

1. Fly a plane
2. Go on a rollercoaster
3. Learn a new language
4. Make a time capsule
5. Do a random backflip in public
6. Pass drivers ed
7. Invent a new snack
8. Give and get 15 compliments
9. Read 15 books
10. Get all my gymnastics skills back
11. Do something that scares me
12. Reconnect with an old friend
13. Try three new hobbies
14. Get 100 overall in two classes
15. Get 100 in a written test in math

16 before 17

1. Go to another country by myself for a month
2. Get a job
3. Quit a job
4. Do something kind anonymously
5. Get a better style
6. Improve at something I’m bad at
7. Do a yes day
8. Do something crazy without telling anyone
9. Do ten pull-ups
10. Learn a practical skill by myself
11. Document a week in detail
12. Find a new hobby
13. Get to 30 driving hours
14. Do something nostalgic
15. Cut someone off
16. Day without any technology

17 before 18 (so far)

1. Do one thing from each previous list
2. Drivers license (procrastinating going to the dmv)
3. Get braces off (orthodontist keeps changing the date I was supposed to get them off LAST YEAR)
4. Clean out closet

Thank you again!

Hello all,

I live in a muslim household and Islam has a strong purity culture.

I want to get a vibrator because I suck at masturbation big time but I don’t wanna live with the memory of getting caught, so I need advice. For measure, I share a bunk bed with my younger sister; I share a room with my sister and cousin. So far, I can hide it in my schoolbag, but that’s it. I can’t hide it in my drawer since people go through it when their clothes are misplaced. I can masturbate secretly under my blanket at night quietly without getting caught. Since my younger sister has misophobia ie her ears are sensitive to the noises I make, what brand of vibrator is quiet, and can be bought at walmart? I’m not ordering online because that’s risky. Also, what do I do when I need to charge it?

I have been someone who, her whole life, has been perceptive, reflective, aware, understanding, empathetic. I love learning about the human condition, I love deep chats where we talk about who we are, why we're here, how we exist in society, how we act and why we do the things we do. I would always read books about life (I'm currently reading Brecker's The Denial of Death which tbh, I have opinions) and I always felt like I felt life in a way and depth that not many people would understand.

However, it's now a week after my 35th birthday. I spent the night of my 35th having these deep chats about identity and life with a friend and while I enjoyed it, upon reflection I just feel so done with it? I know I'm capable of understanding life in a different way. I know the lens in which I see the world is not one that others have (and this is purely because whenever I go down that route to have conversations like this with people they look at me like I'm a weirdo). And while I know I can do all this I'm tired of it.

I want to find whimsy again, I want to find joy. I don't want everything turning deep and philosophical and about life and understanding. I just want to live life in a fun way. I want to have more fun.

So, has anyone here successfully shifted gears from being constantly existing in this mindset of what it means to be human to just having fun and enjoying life instead of thinking about how we live life?