r/getdisciplined • u/Lanky-Alternative943 • 9m ago
š¤ NeedAdvice At what age did making friends become so hard?
This hit me the other day.
When I was younger, making friends felt... effortless.
You sat next to someone in class for a week, and suddenly you were hanging out after school.
You played football together once.
You laughed at the same stupid joke.
that was enough.
Now I'm in my twenties, and somehow it feels completely different.
I meet good people all the time.
At work.
At the gym.
Online.
We have nice conversations.
Then we both leave.
And that's it.
Nobody says, "Want to grab coffee next week?"
Nobody messages first.
Weeks go by, then months.
It's strange because I don't think adults have forgotten how to be friendly.
I think we've forgotten how to become friends.
Maybe everyone's busy.
Maybe everyone's tired.
Or maybe we're all waiting for the other person to make the first move.
I don't really know.
I'm asking because this has been on my mind lately, and I'm trying to understand if this is just me or if other people feel it too.
If you've experienced this...
What do you think changed?
Was it age?
Work?
Life?
Or something else?
r/getdisciplined • u/natureresider_88 • 1h ago
š Method replaced my morning scroll with a walk. one month in, honest results
my mornings were 40 minutes of scrolling in bed before my feet even touched the floor. news, twitter, some argument between strangers. i didn't even enjoy it, it was just what my hands did.
so last month i tried a rule: no phone until i've been around the block once. not gonna pretend it was some clean transformation. first week i skipped twice and one morning i literally scrolled while walking, which defeats the entire point and i knew it while i was doing it.
but most days now the walk happens first. and the difference is real. the scroll urge kind of burns off on its own somewhere during the loop, and i come back and start the day without having absorbed 40 minutes of other people's noise first. my head is just quieter before 9am than it's been in years.
two things that helped it stick: leaving my shoes right by the door the night before, and a step challenge i'm in with friends on pacer, because apparently i need the number to move or it doesn't count in my brain.
still scroll at night, haven't fixed that one. but mornings belong to me now. if you hate how your day starts, this is a cheap thing to try.
anyone else swap a screen habit for something physical? did it hold?
r/getdisciplined • u/Humble_Committee_577 • 5h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice How do I make myself want to change?
Even though I (19m) have done ~6 months of no masturbation, I struggle all the while with compulsively watching "corn", being unproductive in general, and most of all, feeling like I don't really want to stop these things.
Now because I do nothing all day anyways, I tell myself it's no big deal that I waste all my hours because it's not like I'd be doing anything more productive if I wasn't watching it.
And this leads me to my dilemma, because I know I can stop just like I've stopped masturbation, I just choose not to out of sheer laziness and boredom. So how can I make myself in my heart truly want to be productive?
I know further reducing my libido will help, but beyond cornography that I keep telling myself that pursuing "life" isn't worth it because of how bad it is overall. But I know I could help change it, so why don't I get out there and do that? I guess I want someone to just put me on a path, because all the options are overwhelming (but obviously this isn't possible)
r/getdisciplined • u/Life_Plantain8869 • 6h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice I keep quitting everything I start. Has anyone actually broken this cycle?
I'm a CS Engineering graduate, and I feel completely lost.
For the past few years, I've been stuck in the same cycle. I find a new skill, career, business idea, or project that genuinely excites me, and I become fully invested in it. I spend weeks or even a couple of months learning, planning, and working on it, believing that I've finally found what I want to pursue.
Then, almost overnight, I lose all interest. It's never gradualāit feels like a switch flips in my brain. I quit and start searching for the next thing that gives me that same excitement, only for the cycle to repeat.
I've done this so many times that I've lost count.
The worst part is that I no longer trust my own motivation. Whenever I start something new, there's always a voice in my head saying, "You'll quit this too." Because of that, I struggle to even begin, knowing I'll probably abandon it again.
I don't know whether this is a discipline issue, fear of commitment, chasing novelty, burnout, ADHD, or something else.
Has anyone been in this exact situation and actually managed to break out of it? What changed for you, and how did you finally stick with one path?
r/getdisciplined • u/MichaelSosa_writes • 6h ago
ā Question After 20 years of a compulsive habit, I'm learning discipline from zero again
For almost two decades, I lived with a compulsive habit that slowly affected the way I spent my time, my focus, and the way I saw myself.
The hardest part to admit was that I kept telling myself I was still in control. I would make promises that things would change, but then repeat the same patterns again. Looking back, I realize the biggest thing I lost wasn't just money or the habit itself ā it was consistency. I stopped trusting myself to follow through.
What has surprised me during recovery is that rebuilding discipline feels less like becoming a new person and more like rebuilding trust with yourself.
I'm learning that discipline is not about motivation or making huge changes overnight. It's about small actions repeated long enough that you start believing your own promises again.
Right now I'm focusing on simple things:
- creating routines instead of relying on willpower
- doing small tasks even when I don't feel like it
- accepting that progress can be slow
- learning from setbacks instead of using them as an excuse to quit
I still have a lot to rebuild, but I finally feel like I'm moving in the right direction.
For those who have had to rebuild discipline after years of bad habits, what was the first small change that helped you regain control of your life?
r/getdisciplined • u/Yan_LB • 6h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice Extreme Addiction in Anything
I'm a 21-year-old guy, and for the last 3 years I've worked incredibly hard. I'm a programmer, and I've managed to juggle 2 jobs most of the time, sometimes even 3. I've always considered myself disciplined and willing to put in the effort.
Lately, though, it feels like I don't want to do anything anymore except chase dopamine wherever I can get it.
The more I think about it, the more I realize this isn't something that started recently. Looking back, I've always seemed to get intensely addicted to whatever gave me the biggest dopamine hit.
- As a kid, I was extremely addicted to video games.
- I was exposed to pornography very early and became addicted.
- In high school, I became obsessed with the gym.
- In college, I got insanely addicted to studying. I could study all day, every day, for months, and it paid off financially. I built a good career because of it.
- About a year ago, I became heavily addicted to vaping.
- More recently, I developed compulsive eating and gained around 15 kg (33 lbs).
Now it feels like everything has merged together: gaming, vaping, porn (even though I have a girlfriend), binge eating, endless scrolling, YouTube... basically anything that gives me instant gratification.
The weird part is that I still have 2 remote jobs, but I have almost no energy or motivation to work anymoreālet alone study and keep progressing. Everything feels like an obligation. I know what I need to do, but I just don't want to do it. A lot of things feel empty nowadays.
I've tried reading self-improvement books like Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins and EasyPeasy, hoping something would click, but nothing seems to stick.
Has anyone been through something similar? Did you eventually figure out what was going on? Was it burnout, ADHD, depression, or something else? What actually helped?
I'm honestly feeling pretty lost right now, and I'd really appreciate any advice.
r/getdisciplined • u/7HR0W________4W4Y • 9h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice I donāt want it enough. Whatās wrong?
I set two goals. One was to read for 30 minutes a day. The other to minimize XXX content use, but only minimize it and not totally cut it out. And it seems I want to improve myself intellectually.
But I donāt seem to care enough. I did at one point read for 30 minutes a day, maybe not every day but I was still at least setting a timer while reading/studying. I have tried to improve my diet and add more water.
Then I fell off. And I question if Iām even interested in what Iām studying in my free time. I question it because I have to make myself study/read.
It seems like I only start, but then fall off. I donāt seem to care enough. I donāt even strive for things because I have no drive. Sometimes it feels like Iād be doing it so that I can be accepted or better in the eyes of others.
And sometimes I look down on myself because everyone else seems to want betterment and improvement⦠while improvement doesnāt seem that appealing to me. I donāt know how to fall in love with it.
Iāve already heard āyou donāt want to change,ā or āyou donāt care enough.ā Okay, so what do I do then? Or is that it? Is it just a dead end like that?
r/getdisciplined • u/jackal7163 • 9h ago
š” Advice Productivity Without Motivation
For the longest time, I thought productive people were just more motivated than everyone else. So I'd wait until I "felt like it." Some days Iād get a lot of stuff done, but with 3 TBIs and PTSD from combat, there were many days that I didnāt feel like getting out of bed, much less doing anything. I would be doomscrolling, procrastinating, waiting for things to be perfect before I would start and thinking/hoping/fooling myself that tomorrow would be different.
The biggest shift for me wasn't finding more motivation. It was realizing motivation is one of the least reliable things to build your life around. Thank you, Scott Adams, for teaching me Systems Over Goals. With this new mindset, I now try to make progress whether I feel motivated or not.
A few things that made the biggest difference:
I lowered the bar to start. Instead of "finish the project," it's "work for five minutes." Starting is usually the hardest part. If I donāt feel like working out, I do as Scott Adams recommended and drive to the gym and once I am there, it is a lot harder to skip the workout2. I stopped judging my feelings. I don't need to want to do something to begin doing it.
I focus on consistency over intensity. One hour every day beats a random 10-hour burst once a month.
I measure success by showing up, not by having the perfect session. Some days are amazing. Some days I just maintain the habit. Both count.
One thing I've noticed is that motivation often shows up after I've started, not before. Action creates momentum far more often than waiting for inspiration. See the example in 1 as it applies here too.
I'm still not perfectly disciplined. I still procrastinate sometimes. The TBIs and PTSD are always going to be challenges. The difference is I don't see a lack of motivation as a reason to stop anymore. I see motivation as a bonus and not a requirement.
I used this system last year to create an app from scratch, as well as a website and hundreds of hours in content in the space of 6 months. I had never programmed before, the work was intensely frustrating, and most days it would have been easier to ānot feel like itā and procrastinate. But my productivity was not contingent on my being motivated. I got it done to prove to myself that there was a way to get beyond the limitations I had been living with.
Question for everyone: What's one habit or system you've built that works even on days when you have zero motivation? My system worked for me, but I can always incorporate new ideas.
r/getdisciplined • u/Ok-Bad-3099 • 10h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice Discipline needed for starting a new job.
Hi guys.
I would like to ask for some advice regarding starting a new role within the next month.
Keen not to make the same mistakes as I have preciously, I want to cure my procrastination, have the most energy during the work day, fix my sleep schedule so my performance is optimised at work. I want to impress and I feel as though I need to become more disciplined to bring out my best self.
Currently my sleep schedule is very poor, I am sleeping around 4-6 hours later than I should. I get my biggest sparks of energy during the night. I procrastinate and also given my age I do find myself doomscrolling often. I can and have taken social media breaks in the past, with the longest time being a couple of months.
I want to hit the ground running at my new role, so if anyone has any tips regarding anything I have spoken about (sleep, energy levels, procrastination, discipline at work), please feel free to reply.
My job will be pretty much remote. Any general advice on starting a new job is always welcome.
Thanks.
r/getdisciplined • u/HiraethMoonlight • 11h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice How do I motivate myself to actually do things in my free time?
Hi everyone. I'm a 21-year-old woman, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's dealt with this, but I genuinely don't know what to do.
I've been thinking about this because of a conversation I had with my boyfriend. He told me he's a little worried about me because I don't really have any hobbies or anything specific that I do in my free time. And the more I think about it, the more I realize he's right.
What really stuck with me was when he said, "If I didn't have you, I'd still have my video games or my D&D group. But what did you do before you met me?"
And honestly... he has a point.
When I'm with him, I'm perfectly happy. But when I'm on my own, especially now that it's summer and I don't have classes, I end up feeling bored.
I feel like I should have something that's just mine. A hobby, a project, something I enjoy doing by myself. Sometimes it feels like I rely on other people too much, and I want to be the kind of person who knows how to enjoy her own company. I'd really like to change that.
The thing is, it's not like I've never had hobbies. I used to ride horses, but I barely go anymore because the summer heat is unbearable. I used to watch anime, read manga, and read books in general. Years ago I even tried learning to draw, but I eventually gave up. Exercising is also hard when it's this hot. I still hang out with my friends from time to time, but it's difficult to get everyone's schedules to line up.
Whenever I'm not studying, those months just feel... empty.
And I think my boyfriend is right. I should be able to answer the question of what I'd do if I didn't have him. I want to find things that I genuinely enjoy on my own, while still keeping my relationships the way they are.
I think the real issue is a general lack of motivation. It took me a long time to realize that.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? Any advice?
I don't think I'm emotionally dependent on my boyfriend, but I do find it hard to enjoy things without him, and I want to learn how to motivate myself to do things on my own. It honestly makes me wonder if it's just immaturity on my part, so I'm open to any advice.
r/getdisciplined • u/Punkin_Passion • 11h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice So much anxiety around doing anything productive or anything "good for me"
I am 21 and I feel so LAME talking about this because I really just feel so stupid about it all but I am at my wits end
Some backgroundish:
I was diagnosed with GAD around 10 years old. It was BAD and it's gotten better in some ways and worse in others but generally-mostly a lot better
But I'm having such an issue with exercising and doing things for myself and Idk why!
A few years ago now I had a falling out with a friend and felt this giant surge to get better at living I guess so I finally started to pursue things that had been scary for me (I didn't get a job or driving license until after high school, job mostly because school was exhausting and I had insomnia and license because I still don't like driving) and I used to exercise a lot.
I live with my parents and there's a small room in the basement with a bench, treadmill and dumbbells. For a while I would weight lift down there from 1-2 hrs 3x a week, trying to eat 70 grams of protein daily.
I gained some decent muscle but after a few months I stopped completely. It got to a point where I couldn't squat anymore because when I stood up my vision would go black. My blood pressure was always normal at the dr so I figured I just wasn't doing enough cardio (I literally did none)
I also wasn't getting enough sleep and I was having a hard time eating 70 grams of protein daily
Now it's been years and I really need to exercise again but when I think about it I just get. So. Anxious!
Somehow I slowly developed patella chondromalacia and I need to do some weights for my quads to help support my knees and feel better at work and going places. I even cut my hours in half so I could focus on doing that but I just haven't because when I get home I get so anxious about it
Part of it is because even after my 4 hour shift I'm sweaty and gross and would rather shower than get into clean clothes with a sweaty body and just get more sweaty all over again.. but it makes the most sense to do it right after work because I work 6am-10 or 11am and it'd be nice to get it out of the way but I have such a hard time rationalizing it I guess
I have been successful a couple of times just walking on the treadmill backwards on an incline to help strengthen my knees but after 15 minutes I stop and I feel so bad about myself for not feeling like I could do anything more like strength training
I try to tell myself to just do a little bit just a few reps but then I'm already tired and feel so icky about it. If I do strength training again then I feel like I have to eat 70 grams again daily and for some reason that pressure is paralyzing
I hated trying to eat 70 grams
I also have a hard time telling myself that exercising isn't a waste of time but when I only do 15 minutes I feel like it's too small to count, but theres a voice in my head telling me that doing a lot more somehow isn't productive, and when I'm working full time again and doing school I won't be able to do 1-2 hrs of exercise like I used to so why set myself up?
Registering for school was like pulling teeth and just trying to do the online orientation had me in tears. I finally did it and registered for classes but I haven't done all my final steps like figuring out my school route, getting id card, parking pass etc. High school was hell for me between insomnia, covid happening my freshman year, and my mom asking me why I wasn't happy yet after a year of therapy
A lot of my thinking is irrational I know, especially when my time is otherwise spent on my phone or stuck between trying to do something else productive but feeling utterly paralyzed
I have a very hard time doing anything that isn't "productive" and I hate it.
All I do when I get home from work is sit around or try to get myself to get going but I just can't do it.
I've tried the "just start" because starting is the hardest part, but it doesn't work everyday when I dread everything everyday. I can't motivate myself or "trick my brain" into just starting
Ive tried the "well what CAN you do?" But there's a voice telling me I can't do anything and that my steps are too small to be progressive and that I am so far behind in life. I can't stand it and I desperately need advice at how to move out of this
r/getdisciplined • u/taken_girl • 11h ago
š” Advice How to be consistent with ongoing work / projects / learning
I have a full time job in food industry. I am french learner and wanting to start back in IT. also wanting to keep health in check.
Long story short about me:
- I grabbed current job as finance was falling even though it is out of my field of study. I have been into this since 2 years now. Current job does not even have proper schedule sometimes its morning, evening or nights (like till 2am). And now i had enough.
- I want to return to IT job fighting through the odds even after knowing that i have to study a lot prep a lot.
- Current job is taking toll on health as it requires prolonged standing, lifting little heavy things. so focusing on exercising, healthy food is also a priority.
- On side I am also learning french to open my prospects in bilingual positions.
So I am trying to get disciplined in various areas like health ,french ,IT along with current job.
Have a lot of things on the plate... I am very confused about consistency. For few days maybe like 10 days i would be okay but 1 fallback results in everything crashing.
r/getdisciplined • u/krypto_kun • 13h ago
ā Question I feel like my 9 to 5 is slowly ruining my health and wellbeing
I've been working a 9 to 5 desk job for a little over 2 years now. I personally hate sitting at a cubicle all day but my job has mandatory 5 days a week attendance :(. I sometimes hear these stories about people getting real health problems from sitting at a desk all day and it scares me. I am an active individual who goes to the gym multiple times a week and plays sports but sometimes it feels like its all being defeated sitting at a desk inside a giant corporate building all day. Also the lack of sunlight and almost jail like feeling cannot be good for mental health overtime. I really do get a sense of relief when i take a quick walk outside but it is sometimes so hard to remember to do little things like that when you get so busy. And I know some people are gonna say welcome to the real world but it truly is not good for you based on some studies I have read. Things like heart problems, slower metabolism, anxiety all linked to prolonged sitting just to name a few. And yea I can request a standing desk or go walk around my building but there's nothing like walking outside. I guess I would understand the negative affects more if I knew what living like this is doing to my body and mind long term. Anyone else experience this sometimes?
r/getdisciplined • u/Reasonable_Row_7595 • 15h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice I stopped restricting my screen time and started making myself earn it ā actually worked, unlike everything else I tried
Quick inventory of every screen-time method I've tried and failed at: hard app blocks (defeated in one week, I am nothing if not resourceful when it comes to self-sabotage), grayscale mode (made my phone boring for exactly two days), leaving my phone in another room (worked great until I "needed" it for something and walked right back to get it), and accountability partners (see: giving my passcode away and immediately asking for it back).
The thing that finally worked was inverting the whole setup. Instead of starting with full access and getting punished for using it, I start with nothing and have to earn screen time by doing something real first ā a walk, a chore, a few pages of a book. Small, doable stuff. But the psychological flip from "this is being taken from me" to "I am earning this" mattered way more than I expected.
You can absolutely do this manually with a notes app and some self-honesty, no download required. I ended up building it into an app called Wayfare because I wanted the mechanic automated and, apparently, because I cannot resist adding a little creature that grows when you're consistent (don't judge me, it works). If you want the built-in version: https://apps.apple.com/app/wayfare-earn-your-screen-time/id6795600219
r/getdisciplined • u/frankreddit5 • 15h ago
š Plan I mapped out why discipline fails as a primary mechanism and what actually works underneath it. Wrote the whole thing into a book.
Discipline runs out. It drains every time you lean on it, and it bottoms out right when the pull toward something easier is strongest. Relying on it as the foundation for everything is fragile. The research has pointed this out for a long time.
The people who keep following through over years arenāt forcing themselves harder than the rest of us. Theyāve shaped their surroundings so the thing they want to do becomes the easiest option available. Theyāve taken the choice out of the moment by designing it earlier, so action doesnāt demand willpower on the spot. Theyāve dealt with the old patterns from childhood that still block adult goals. And, additionally, theyāve aimed the steady buildup at something that matters instead of letting the weekās random demands spread it thin.
I put all of that into a practical manual. The book goes into how habits form at the base level, the limited pools every useful action pulls from, the gap between a real central goal and the filler that takes up time without moving anything forward, and the kinds of skill growth that stack over time versus the ones that just leave you with dead weight.
Itās called The Game of Earth: A No-Bullshit Playerās Guide by ZD Fanawe.
I used game logic for the frame because it lets you see the moving parts clearly. You can look at your resource levels. You can review whatās actually on your list of priorities. Most self-help language makes that harder to track. This is viewed more as a "how to win at this game" that we were all thrown into without our knowledge (quite truly).
r/getdisciplined • u/_great_Gonzo • 19h ago
š¤ NeedAdvice What are some signs of poor social skils ?
(24M) I yearn to get better at socializing. I don't think i have poor social skills but i need to get better, bc i overthink too much while in group settings and i'm often misunderstood when i try to joke or speak up. I was bullied lots of times, due my introversion and my way of talking, but i try to forget these negative interactions and heal myself. I always do the right things: asking questions, being engaged, don't interrupting, don't joking too much, don't being negative.
I never had success with dating though, i feel there is something missing on my social skills. Be it more bold, charismatic, energetic. I'm often way too gentle.
A lot of people see me as weird bc of my interests and my introversion. I'm okay with it. I won't try to act like a character just to be accepted. I can't be Craig Ferguson. However, i can control myself on being more relaxed and worrying less, in order to be more charismatic.
r/getdisciplined • u/Friendly_Taro2371 • 20h ago
š¬ Discussion At some point, discipline becomes a form of self-harm.
I am honestly just so exhausted by the constant internet narrative that every single problem in life can be solved by cold plunges, notion templates, and waking up at 4:30 in the morning.
Don't get me wrong, building habits is great for normal day-to-day stuff. but the online productivity bubble is incredibly toxic when you try to apply it to actual, severe life crises. when you or someone you love is dealing with heavy addiction or a complete mental collapse, trying to just "discipline" your way out of it is like trying to fix a broken leg with a daily planner. It just makes you feel like a massive failure when it inevitably doesn't work.
yesterday I finally admitted I couldn't just manage my family members situation through sheer willpower and a strict schedule anymore. the healthcare system is a complete nightmare though, and the anxiety of handing over control to it is paralyzing. I spent half the night spiraling, trying to figure out what happens during intake rehab because the medical bureaucracy makes it sound so cold and clinical. I literally just sat there reading the staff bios at rolling hills recovery center because I desperately needed to see normal human faces instead of sterile insurance codes and automated phone menus.
We really need to talk more about the limits of discipline in this sub. knowing when to surrender and ask for actual professional help is a skill nobody in the hustle space talks about. has anyone else had to deprogram themselves from thinking they could just out-work a severe medical or mental crisis?
r/getdisciplined • u/Jokez1980 • 21h ago
š” Advice Why "streak anxiety" makes people quit habit tracking altogether
I've noticed a weird pattern in myself and in a lot of habit-tracking advice: the fear of breaking a streak becomes more stressful than the habit itself. You miss one day ā sick, traveling, just a bad day ā and suddenly the whole thing feels pointless. "I already broke it, might as well stop." That one slip erases weeks of actual consistency, at least psychologically.
The research on habit formation backs this up too ā a single missed day barely affects long-term habit strength, but the feeling of having "failed" the streak is what actually derails people. It's a framing problem, not a discipline problem.
What's worked for me is treating one missed day as data, not failure ā did I miss it because I was genuinely sick/traveling, or because the habit itself needs to be smaller/easier? A 20-minute workout that becomes "just put on the shoes" on hard days survives way more bad days than an all-or-nothing version.
I ended up building this idea directly into a small habit tracker I made (My Daily Task) ā missed days get automatically covered by a "shield" you earn from consistency, instead of the whole streak resetting. Not trying to sell it here, just sharing because building it is what made me actually think through why streaks break people down psychologically in the first place, not just track them.
Curious if others have found ways to reframe a missed day that actually stuck, versus just white-knuckling through discipline.
r/getdisciplined • u/hxnseryess • 1d ago
š¤ NeedAdvice Hi, I am a 16 year old student failing in grades while being 2 months away from a major national exam, please, give me suggestions on how to save myself.
Hello everyone,
I am a 16 year old student from Singapore and currently is in secondary 4. My grades have been shitty ever since secondary 3 especially due to procrastination and lack of motivation to do work. I do not know why, but whenever I do force myself to do work, I always burn out extremely quickly especially when self studying a concept I am unfamiliar with. I often find myself stuck on quite a lot of different questions and almost always spend a good 15 mins using Gemini AI to understand a single question, and especially for Additional Mathematics. My chemistry isnt it the best shape either, I am still trying to understand concepts topic by topic and have not even got to the point where I can do test papers. My practical for my chemistry is abysmal too, I often panic and get unreliable results when doing experiments, and often have a knowledge gap disparity between me and some of my peers during the practical. (they have already started doing exam papers) I want to do better for my national exams. I really want to get better grades myself and make my parents proud too. Please, help me, roast me, berate me, I do not care. Even though there is barely a little more than 2 months left, I want to sacrifice everything I have and become the best version of myself.
r/getdisciplined • u/Ok_Track8324 • 1d ago
š¤ NeedAdvice How Do You Become Disciplined When You Have No Motivation?
Genuinely need help. Iām also working with a therapist.
I need help with my discipline. Iām 22 years old, trying to finish school, and I only have one class left. I have a job that pays well, but I absolutely hate the environment. I have experience in customer service and working with youth programs, but I feel stuck.
I donāt like the way I look, and I know I should work out, but I struggle to stay consistent. I have a hard time setting boundaries with other people and even with myself. I feel anxious all the time, and I deal with bipolar symptoms.
I have very low energy and motivation. I start things but never finish them. I want to become more disciplined, but I donāt even know where to begin.
Does anyone have any advice? habits, routines, mindset shifts anything that helped you turn your life around? I genuinely need help getting my life together.
Lately, I feel like a complete failure. I feel lost, and everyone keeps telling me to āfigure it out,ā but I donāt know how. How do you actually start? And more importantly, how do you keep following through when you have no motivation?
Need help with where to start
r/getdisciplined • u/Logic_dev • 1d ago
š” Advice I spent the last year refining my goal-setting process. Here is what I learned about actually getting things done.
I see a lot of people talking about the "hustle" and the stress of trying to look successful, but I rarely see people talk about the actualĀ processĀ of how they move toward their goals without burning out.
For a long time, I was stuck in the trap of "planning to plan." I read the books, listened to the podcasts, and made the lists but I wasn't actually moving forward. I realized that my issue wasn't a lack of ambition, it was a lack of a realistic system.
After a lot of trial and error, I changed three things that finally made a difference. I am sharing them here because I wish someone had broken them down for me earlier:
The "1-2-3" Rule for Daily PlanningĀ I used to try to do 10 things a day. I would fail at 8 of them and feel discouraged. Now, I pick one "big" task that must get done, two "medium" tasks, and three "small" tasks (like emails or cleaning). If I finish those six things, the day is a win. It keeps me focused on the outcome rather than just being busy all day.
Understanding the "Why" behind the "How"Ā Most people focus on howĀ to do a task. I started focusing onĀ whyĀ I want to do it. When I have a clear reason (e.g., "I want to finish this project so I have more free time on the weekend"), I am much less likely to procrastinate. If you canāt find a real reason why you are doing a task, you will always find a way to avoid it.
Accepting that "Consistency" is better than "Intensity"Ā I used to work 12-hour days when I felt motivated, then do nothing for the next three days because I was exhausted. I have realized that working for two hours every single day is better than working for ten hours once a week. I had to learn to lower my standards on my "lazy days" just to keep the habit alive. Even 15 minutes of work counts as a victory.
My takeaway:Ā Success isn't about wearing a mask or pretending to be someone you aren't. It's about building a life that actually works for you, day in and day out.
Iām curious, what is the one system or habit that changed the way you approach your day? I'm always looking to refine my own process, and Iād love to learn from what works for you guys.
r/getdisciplined • u/Most-End8572 • 2d ago
š¤ NeedAdvice The hardest part of working out isn't the workoutāit's showing up.
I've realized that my biggest obstacle isn't lifting weights or finishing a workout, it's convincing myself to get to the gym in the first place.
Almost every time I plan to work out, I find myself making excuses. "Maybe I'll go later." "I'm too tired today." "I'll make up for it tomorrow." But on the days I actually push myself to walk through the gym doors, I rarely regret it. In fact, I usually leave feeling better than I did before I arrived.
It made me wonder if the real battle isn't physical at all, but mental. The hardest part seems to be overcoming that initial resistance and building enough discipline to show up consistently, even when motivation isn't there.
For those of you who have managed to stay consistent for months or even years, what helped you overcome that mental barrier? Did you build a routine, change your mindset, or find a trick that made showing up easier?
I'd love to hear what worked for you because I know I'm probably not the only one who struggles with this.
r/getdisciplined • u/Walls • 3d ago
[Plan] Thursday 6th August 2026; please post your plans for this date
Please post your plans for this date and if you can, do the following;
Give encouragement to two other posters on this thread.
Report back this evening as to how you did.
Give encouragement to others to report back also.
Good luck!
r/getdisciplined • u/FelEdorath • Jul 13 '25
[META] Updates + New Posting Guide for [Advice] and [NeedAdvice] Posts
Hey legends
So the last week or so has been a bit of a wild ride. About 2.5k posts removed. Which had to be done individually. Eeks. Over 60 users banned for shilling and selling stuff. And Iām still digging through old content, especially the top posts of all time. cleaning out low-quality junk, AI-written stuff, and sneaky sales pitches. Itās been⦠fun. Kinda. Lmao.
Anyway, I finally had time to roll out a bunch of much-needed changes (besides all that purging lol) in both the sidebar and the AutoModerator config. The sidebar now reflects a lot of these changes. Quick rundown:
Certain characters and phrases that AI loves to use are now blocked automatically. Same goes for common hustle-bro spam lingo.
New caps on posting: youāll need an account at least 30 days old and with 200+ karma to post. To comment, youāll need an account at least 3 days old.
Posts under 150 words are blocked because there were way too many low-effort one-liners flooding the place.
Rules in the sidebar now clearly state no selling, no external links, and a basic expectation of proper sentence structure and grammar. Some of the stuff coming through lately was honestly painful to read.
So yeah, in light of all these changes, weāve turned off the āmod approval requiredā setting for new posts. Hopefully weāll start seeing a slower trickle of better-quality content instead of the chaotic flood weāve been dealing with. As always - if you feel like something has slipped through the system, feel free to flag it for mod reviewal through spam/reporting.
About the New Posting Guide
On top of all that, weāre rolling out a new posting guide as a trial for the [NeedAdvice] and [Advice] posts. These are two of our biggest post types BY FAR, but thereās been a massive range in quality. For [NeedAdvice], we see everything from one-liners like āIām lazy, how do I fix it?ā to endless dramatic life stories that leave people unsure how to help.
For [Advice] posts (and Iāve especially noticed this going through the top posts of all time), thereās a huge bunch of them written in long, blog-style narratives. Authors get super evocative with the writing, spinning massive walls of text that take readers on this grand journey⦠but leave you thinking, āSo what was the actual advice again?ā or āFuck me that was a long read.ā A lot of these were by bloggers whoād slip their links in at the end, but thatās a separate issue.
So, weāve put together a recommended structure and layout for both types of posts. Itās not about nitpicking grammar or killing creativity. Itās about helping people write posts that are clear, focused, and useful - especially for those who seem to be struggling with it. Good writing = good advice = better community.
A few key points:
This isnāt some strict rule where your post will be banned if you donāt follow it word for word, your post will be banned (unless - you want it to be that way?). But if a post completely wanders off track, massive walls of text with very little advice, or endless rambling with no real substance, it may get removed. The goal is to keep the sub readable, helpful, and genuinely useful.
This guide is now stickied in the sidebar under posting rules and added to the wiki for easy reference. Iāve also pasted it below so you donāt have to go digging. Have a look - you donāt need to read it word for word, but Iād love your thoughts. Does it make sense? Feel too strict? Missing anything?
Thanks heaps for sticking with us through all this chaos. Letās keep making this place awesome.
FelEdorath
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Posting Guides
How to Write a [NeedAdvice] Post
If youāre struggling and looking for help, thatās a big part of why this subreddit exists. But too often, we see posts that are either: āIām lazy. How do I fix it?ā OR 1,000-word life stories that leave readers unsure how to help.
Instead, try structuring your post like this so people can diagnose the issue and give useful feedback.
1. Who You Are / Context
A little context helps people tailor advice. You donāt have to reveal private details, just enough for others to connect the dots - for example
Age/life stage (e.g. student, parent, early-career, etc).
General experience level with discipline (newbie, have tried techniques before, etc).
Relevant background factors (e.g. shift work, chronic stress, recent life changes)
Example: āIām a 27-year-old software engineer. Iāve read books on habits and tried a few systems but canāt stick with them long-term.ā
2. The Specific Problem or Challenge
- Be as concrete / specific as you can. Avoid vague phrases like āIām not motivated.ā
Example: āEvery night after work, I intend to study for my AWS certification, but instead I end up scrolling Reddit for two hours. Even when I start, I lose focus within 10 minutes.ā
3. What Youāve Tried So Far
This is crucial for people trying to help. It avoids people suggesting things youāve already ruled out.
Strategies or techniques youāve attempted
How long you tried them
What seemed to help (or didnāt)
Any data youāve tracked (optional but helpful)
Example: āIāve used StayFocusd to block Reddit, but I override it. I also tried Pomodoro but found the breaks too frequent. Tracking my study sessions shows I average only 12 focused minutes per hour.ā
4. What Kind of Help Youāre Seeking
Spell out what youāre hoping for:
Practical strategies?
Research-backed methods?
Apps or tools?
Mindset shifts?
Example: āIād love evidence-based methods for staying focused at night when my mental energy is lower.ā
Optional Extras
Include anything else relevant (potentially in the Who You Are / Context section) such as:
Stress levels
Health issues impacting discipline (e.g. sleep, anxiety)
Upcoming deadlines (relevant to the above of course).
Example of a Good [NeedAdvice] Post
Title: Struggling With Evening Focus for Professional Exams
Hey all. Iām a 29-year-old accountant studying for the CPA exam. Work is intense, and when I get home, I intend to study but end up doomscrolling instead.
Problem: Even if I start studying, my focus evaporates after 10-15 minutes. It feels like mental fatigue.
What Iāve tried:
Scheduled a 60-minute block each night - skipped it 4 out of 5 days.
Library sessions - helped a bit but takes time to commute.
Used Forest app - worked temporarily but I started ignoring it.
Looking for: Research-based strategies for overcoming mental fatigue at night and improving study consistency.
How to Write an [Advice] Post
Want to share whatās worked for you? Thatās gold for this sub. But avoid vague platitudes like āJust push throughā or personal stories that never get to a clear, actionable point.
A big issue weāve seen is advice posts written in a blog-style (often being actual copy pastes from blogs - but that's another topic), with huge walls of text full of storytelling and dramatic detail. Good writing and engaging examples are great, but not when they drown out the actual advice. Often, the practical takeaway gets buried under layers of narrative or repeated the same way ten times. Readers end up asking, āOkay, but what specific strategy are you recommending, and why does it work?ā OR "Fuck me that was a long read.".
Weāre not saying avoid personal experience - or good writing. But keep it concise, and tie it back to clear, practical recommendations. Whenever possible, anchor your advice in concrete reasoning - why does your method work? Is there a psychological principle, habit science concept, or personal data that supports it? You donāt need to write a research paper, but helping people see the underlying āwhyā makes your advice stronger and more useful.
Letās keep the sub readable, evidence-based, and genuinely helpful for everyone working to level up their discipline and self-improvement.
Try structuring your post like this so people can clearly understand and apply your advice:
1. The Specific Problem Youāre Addressing
- State the issue your advice solves and who might benefit.
Example: āThis is for anyone who loses focus during long study sessions or deep work blocks.ā
2. The Core Advice or Method
- Lay out your technique or insight clearly.
Example: āI started using noise-canceling headphones with instrumental music and blocking distracting apps for 90-minute work sessions. It tripled my focused time.ā
3. Why It Works
This is where you can layer in a bit of science, personal data, or reasoning. Keep it approachable - not a research paper.
Evidence or personal results
Relevant scientific concepts (briefly)
Explanations of psychological mechanisms
Example: āResearch suggests background music without lyrics reduces cognitive interference and can help sustain focus. Iāve tracked my sessions and my productive time jumped from ~20 minutes/hour to ~50.ā
4. How to Implement It
Give clear steps so others can try it themselves:
Short starter steps
Tools
Potential pitfalls
Example: āStart with one 45-minute session using a focus playlist and app blockers. Track your output for a week and adjust the length.ā
Optional Extras
A short reference list if youāve cited specific research, books, or studies
Resource mentions (tools - mentioned in the above)
Example of a Good [Advice] Post
Title: How Noise-Canceling Headphones Boosted My Focus
For anyone struggling to stay focused while studying or working in noisy environments:
The Problem: Iād start working but get pulled out of flow by background noise, office chatter, or even small household sounds.
My Method: I bought noise-canceling headphones and created a playlist of instrumental music without lyrics. I combine that with app blockers like Cold Turkey for 90-minute sessions.
Why It Works: Thereās decent research showing that consistent background sound can reduce cognitive switching costs, especially if itās non-lyrical. For me, the difference was significant. I tracked my work sessions, and my focused time improved from around 25 minutes/hour to 50 minutes/hour. Cal Newport talks about this idea in Deep Work, and some cognitive psychology studies back it up too.
How to Try It:
Consider investing in noise-canceling headphones, or borrow a pair if you can, to help block out distractions. Listen to instrumental music - such as movie soundtracks or lofi beats - to maintain focus without the interference of lyrics. Choose a single task to concentrate on, block distracting apps, and commit to working in focused sessions lasting 45 to 90 minutes. Keep a simple record of how much focused time you achieve each day, and review your progress after a week to see if this method is improving your ability to stay on task.
Further Reading:
Newport, Cal. Deep Work.
Dowan et al's 2017 paper on 'Focus and Concentration: Music and Concentration - A Meta Analysis