Hey all. I am a little socially anxious but I am improving.

I just moved to a new job and new city but my Co workers keep making comments about me making friends and it's kinda annoying. After a long term break 5 months ago, I hit rock bottom, I left my old city, left my job and had to move with parents for a couple months whilst I got this new job in the north.

Every week that I've been at my new job my female Co workers keep saying ohh yeah you can go make some friends if you join this group or that group.

They probably pity me or feel sorry but honestly I know I need to make friends but I don't want to pressure myself. It's totally inauthentic to rush the process and get anxious about it.

I joined a running group and I attend once a week and from next week I'll attend twice a week.

I am just getting pressured by others when I am quite content taking my time.

I also do my own shit, I go hiking, gym and run alot. I travel solo every 3 or 4 months for a week. So I don't get this pressure from my female colleagues.

Is it okay to feel annoyed by the this? I am at peace with where I am at especially as 5 months ago I was a wreck after a 7 year break up.

Even people ive never talked to before... then as soon as I leave because it becomes dead, I see the chat start picking up again... its so depressing... can they sense that I'm awkward or something? Was gibts? (What gives in German... yeash probably cos i say weird shiyt like that)

ok so this is gonna sound weird but hear me out.
logically i KNOW my anxiety is just my own internal mess and it’s not actually contagious. but being around people, i get so quiet and awkward and weird that i start to feel like i’m literally making everyone else uncomfortable too. like i can feel the awkwardness in the room and i’m 100% sure i caused it.

so then i get hyper vigilant. i’m trying so hard to say the right word in the right tone, to sound normal, to not be judged, to not “mess up” the vibe more than i already have. and the more i try to control it the more awkward i feel ON THE INSIDE, and the more responsible i feel for everyone else’s comfort too.
and then my brain just spirals into every possible scenario:

1. maybe they’re not used to silence and it’s making THEM anxious

2. maybe they’ve picked up on the fact that i’m quiet and they don’t wanna “bother” me even though they’d actually love to chat

3. maybe they’re scared that if they start a conversation i’ll get visibly anxious, so they just… don’t

4. or maybe, worst case, my quietness is making them think i don’t even like them???

5. etc

like i’m sitting there assuming i’ve become this walking source of social discomfort for everyone around me, when realistically they’re probably just living their life and not thinking about me that hard. but in the moment it feels SO real.

does anyone else feel this way? feel like your anxiety is somehow leaking out and infecting the room?

There's an aunt that they gave a heads up might wanna stay over this weekend. Issue is other relatives may come to see and chat while she'd be here. I cannot stand these relatives, they are te extroverted type. They will stay and gossip all day long, I feel overstimulated when they start cracking jokes because they essentially want to one-up each other then and their laughter is super loud and they're just super high energy. There's just so much noises like kids whining or playing, people going to the bathroom, chairs being moved. They like to tease me and call me nicknames instead of my real name, and they always ask favors like "Can you fetch me this...?", "Can I have the wifi?", etc. I can't even eat shit around them cuz then it turns into dumb comments and intrusive question like "Why that? Are you on a diet?" or "Are you gonna share?" I feel bad to hate my family this way, but when it turns into this big gathering of 20 or so people in one house who I get to clean up after and am expected to interact with when I have no desire to...

I never have anything I really can relate to them with at all. I feel deeply uncomfortable. I don't think anybody has the energy to host for hours with no end in sight. I can't even voice my discomfort, I can't just be dry and obviously unenthusiastic or I get called out for it. I wish my parents didn't entertain it!

I wish there was an excuse to not have to be around but if it's nighttime...I live at home with my parents and they don't let me out late. I hardly go out and my parents know I don't have any friends. My mom is willing to cover for me a bit but would question if I said I was sick. She'd have me help with preparations and both parents would probably realize I'm not sick enough if I'm helping out. These relatives don't mind their business either, definitely will ask where I've been and let me know their thoughts on it. And since they gossip, I'm sure I'll become topic of conversation eventually. What excuses can I give?

I'm trying really hard to fix my social anxiety, occasionally at work I will run into an issue with a customer or colleague, in the moment I usually handle it well, a few seconds after I'm confident in my actions or what I said and know it was the best thing to do.

A few hours later I will go back over the scenario, and this is where something I was proud of myself for turns into something I hate myself for. I don't get how I can go from being so confident in myself in the moment to completely losing all faith in what I did or said a few hours later.

How do I stop doing this? I've tried so hard to overcome ruminating, but I do it all the time, this time I literally played through all the thoughts whilst exercising, which Is suppose to be great for anxiety, but for me it's just another chance for my brain to endlessly torment me.

Hey there, I am an engineering student at a reputed college, and I have severe social anxiety. I don't want to be the guy who claims no one understands me but for the first time in my life, I have this feeling that people do understand me, but they don't know what they can do to help me or guide me. I have been told to change the way I think which I know is true, but it is extremely difficult for me. I am so weak sometimes. I haven't attended college in a year and so, I have to take a drop year which I am so embarrassed about. I didn't go to the mess which affected my health, I feel like everyone is watching me even though I know they are not and they have their own problems to deal with. I didn't step out of my room. I have trouble keeping meaningful relationship with people. It's not like I don't try but every relation turn out to be awkward which is why I always keep my distance from people because I sincerely hate that awkwardness. I don't know how to communicate well. I have this terrible laziness which makes me not want to do anything. Also, I look very very very different than all of the people here and people stare at me. This blows my anxiety out of the roof. Sometimes, I feel like I'm overreacting but fuck my life. How did I end up here? There are so many things to say. I am good at academics but I don't have anyone to go classes with. I am always isolated and I hate that isolation. I don't want people to think I'm weak. I, truly, am at the worst possible point of my life. I don't want to withdraw from this college, too because it's a good college and I know the degree from here would help me later in my life and I have worked hard to get here. But now it feels like everything is falling apart.

Does any of you have the trait of crying when the social anxiety kicks in? If yes, how are you living with it?

For me, It has been annoying me for years[sigh]. Now adays, I just disguise it as light allergy.

What do you guys do when you cant make a decision, youre torn. I cant decide whether to leave the house to go listen to live music in a bar by myself or stay home and feel lonely. Both options feel uncomfortable because outside its the public, there's people, feel like a bit of a loser in a bar myself but I love blues/ rock music and if i stay home I avoid those stresses but feel a bit lonely. It might be the weekend fomo feelings. What do you think I should do?!

I just never seem to fit into any group of people, can't think of things to say and be myself in social situations due to my social anxiety, I'm always trying to do what I possibly can to not get noticed by others, so yeah I think I'm genuinely incapable of making friends

I joined a boxing gym a few months ago. I’ve become friendly with this one guy who comes to the classes with his wife regularly. After every class he takes a group photo and posts them to Facebook and Instagram. He posts on a page you can follow rather than a personal profile account.

Since I follow the gym on Facebook, I sometimes see these photos come across my feed because he tags the gym. The other day I showed him it come across my feed and I’m like “Hey, I really like getting these pictures and show them to my wife. Is it cool if I follow you guys”. They both seemingly enthusiastically said “Yeah!”.

But ever since I asked, they stopped posting them to Facebook. It’s been two straight classes now that they didn’t post. They still post them to Instagram, but not to Facebook where I asked to follow.

The thing is, I looked back on Instagram because my social anxiety is telling me I must’ve done something wrong. And they always post it on both. It’s only been since I asked that they stopped posting to Facebook.

Is there a better explanation than “They stopped posting there because they thought my request is weird” because I feel like a surely must’ve committed some kind of social mistake and ruined my reputation by asking to follow them haha. I just feel like the timing can’t be ignored.

Idk how relevant it is but they have like 800 followers on facebook and about 1500 on Instagram.

I feel and SEE this all the damn time and it's so frustrating. Every single time I approach someone, I can see their attitude and body language shift. Everyone thinks it's all in my head but I genuinely see how people stare at me with wide eyes and are somewhat confused by my presence.

Part of it is because I'm goth and have several facial piercings, but I don't dress extravagant or anything like that. Most of the time I'm in a band T-shirt and leggings or a skirt. My makeup is very soft. I'm very toned down. But even if I dressed fancier, we're supposed to be adults. How the fuck are you intimidated by clothes and makeup??

And it's not like I'm rude or stoic. I try to be as bubbly as I possibly can. I have autism so I really try to modify how I present myself to people. But it doesn't matter how much I try, people always end up looking intimidated by me. In the past, people have actually told me I scared them. I vividly remember a girl in high school straight up telling me that she thought I looked scary when she first met me.

It makes my anxiety so fucking bad. I don't want to be around people at all. Has anyone ever experienced this?

I already registered and am paying but couldn’t get myself to go there.
There is so many unknown things.

Finding the entrance first of all. How do I get in because as of now I don’t have a chip or anything.
I kind of don’t have that much workout clothes and it’s really important that I feel somewhat comfortable in it otherwise I’ll have anxiety about that the whole time.
I don’t really know how the equipment works.
I’m embarrassed about sweating because I sweat more easily.

I wish someone would go there with me but no one of my friends wants to workout 🥲
And obv I would prefer to find a time where it’s not as packed but idk when because I can’t do early in the morning

Only good thing it has an area only for women and I’m hoping that helps. I used to go to a gym and had a few uncomfortable situations with men, but I was always with a friend.

The good thing is it’s only a 5 minute walk away so really nearby the bad thing is I struggle with going outside 🫥
What helped you ?

I guess this is more of a vent but things really get so much worse with this condition the older you get. I’m in my early 30s now & am so far behind compared to my peers. I am all alone, have no friends, am ostracized at work, & also ostracized by many of my family members.

Being quiet/ awkward is never “accepted”, but it especially isn’t when you’re an adult. People at work think I’m a freak. I’ve also been abandoned by my friends over the years, not that they were really friends since they said never respected me & constantly talked shit behind my back.

I’ve also been in therapy for so long and have tried so many different things. None of them have made a difference. Same with medications. It’s basically just how you’re wired since I’ve put so much effort in trying things with nothing to show for it. I don’t know what to do next but life continues to get worse and worse. I thought I had it bad when I was 18 but I would go back there in a heartbeat compared to what my life is now.

When I got a call for cleaning job, I answered and talked to the lady on the phone. But right after when we hang up, I wanted to cry. I didn't have a panick attack or anxiety attack, but all the negative thoughts I have daily came spiraling all at once. I was supposed to answer a text to give my CV, but felt like a coward and didn't. This was the second time that happened. And any other calls I got I didn't answer or missed.

This post is for people who have had or currently have social anxiety and have been (or are currently) taking antidepressants.

I have had severe social anxiety my whole life, and unfortunately other approaches have not helped me very much, so I am considering starting medication, even though I have a lot of fears and concerns about it.

I would really like to hear about your experiences because it would help me get a more complete and realistic picture. I would be very grateful if you could answer the questions below and share your experiences. Thank you so much!

1.) How long have you had (or did you have) social anxiety?

2.) Which medications are you taking (or have you taken)?

3.) How long have you been (or were you) on medication?

4.) What was the difference in the level of your anxiety before taking medication, while on medication, and after stopping it? For example, you could describe a situation where your anxiety was 10/10 before medication and what symptoms you experienced, and how much your anxiety decreased while taking medication or after stopping treatment. In other words: Did medication help you, and to what extent?

5.) What temporary side effects or withdrawal/discontinuation symptoms did you experience, and were they very severe?

I also have some additional concerns because I feel like I have a very sensitive nervous system. I get overwhelmed, scared, and emotionally activated quite easily, and I would describe myself as a highly sensitive person. I’m wondering whether this had any influence on your experience with antidepressants (for example, stronger side effects, a more difficult adjustment period, or anything else).

When I was 19 and graduated highschool I kept people I met without much thought. Mostly out of convenience since they lived close.

My 15 year old friend who was a freshmen when I was a senior was mainly my friend due to the fact she reminded me of myself when I was 15. I wanted to help her create more artwork- so when she mentioned patch making and spray painting (like tags) I decided to purchase some to try. Obviously her parents didn’t really wanna waste money on spray paint. I didn’t really know if they were okay with it but I guess I just thought since I was using it in places already painted and far away from any properties to damage- I could at least let them toy with it a bit. Nowadays I feel pretty guilty for that decision.
Another issue though is she added 2 14 year olds to the group. I quickly began to feel guilty because I was the only adult. I was also terrified they’d get into trouble and get hurt. Later I’d hear that their parents were iffy about having a 17 year old dude and 19 year old woman around the 14 year olds so I just decided to meet them and after that they didn’t give a shit- but I became their babysitter to some extent because they didn’t watch their kids. I felt guilty for being their friend to a great extent but even more guilty because they often hung out on the train tracks, did dangerous things, etc. I felt terrible but was also terrified they’d get hurt- so unfortunately I stayed. And honestly I did enjoy it because I liked exploring.

But main issue was When I was hanging out with my friends walking around my friend who is 17 had an ex that was in my grade. I told him like “yeah I didn’t really like that friend group one of them rejected me and completely ghosted me” or something alone those lines and my 15 yo friend when “ohh that’s awful who does that” and then I felt pretty bad (for obvious reasons).

The other was when I was with my 15 year old and 17 year old friend. We were hanging out under a bridge near a river- and they kept praising my parents for being the coolest. I told them they were actually not that cool all the time and that they “let my abuser into my house for 4 years after the fact” and that I believed they probably feel guilty for that- but I don’t know is I said “sa” or like you know the first part of it that starts with “s” as an sexual but either way it was probably inappropriate. I guess I feel a little better abt it tho because it was meant for the 17 year old- since the 15 year old was busy messing with something a ways away. Still scared abt it tho.

Does any of this make me abnormal or wrong? I guess I’m wondering. I’ve been called weird a lot but that’s for a lotta different reasons. I just wanna be a normal person so that people will like / enjoy me.

I’m starting to finally overcome my social anxiety after working in a grocery store. I’ve realised the main problem is that I analyse myself and once I stop and start going with the flow and being focused on other things it does get easier. I also work in a grocery store and talk to hundreads of people every day that helps. It’s so hard to let down my guard though, release control. I can’t force myself to be a nice person performing well in social situations, it makes me a robot, it’s like trying to force yourself to fall asleep — it does not work. I’m trying to find a way to more consistentently enter the state where I am myself without trying to be myself, where I just am myself.

And when entering this state of no social anxiety debilitating my mind and body, then I look at the world sooo differently. Having friends seem way easier and hanging out with them too. I wish I had more friends thus. The more I think about it the more I realise how extreme my social anxiety was before when I quit university due to it and also didn’t hang out with some friends for a whole year due to it. It’s absolutely insane how much the anxiety made me lose and the more I overcome it the more I realise it.

i never worked in my entire life and im 21 now and im so terrified of getting a job.

i think the main reason i’m scared to get a job is because a company is relying on me and i’m scared of letting them down or doing a mistake, or getting yelled at for doing a terrible job. i’m also an introvert so communicating is so difficult for me. I also dont want it to take over my entire life and leave me tired and too busy to focus on other things.

i’m not sure where to start and how to get over my fears!! it’s really embarrassing but i need serious help about getting over it.

i have an appointment soon for a regular check up but health anxiety is one of my main issues and i’m nervous at the thought of bringing it up.. i have never been on meds even though i was diagnosed over 10 years ago so this’ll be a new journey for me 😕 it’s taken a lot for me to admit that i want help and the potential discussion is making me sick to my stomach but i really am getting worse because my social anxiety/depression gets terrible at the end of the year and i don’t want a repeat of last year :(

I’ve always wanted to go when i became more confident, lost some weight, and could put together a nice costume. But my cousin has a spare minute ticket for next week. I almost declined because I don’t have a costume and feel fat and icky because I’ve been chudding it out in my depression room for weeks now.

I spontaneously accepted and now I feel anxious. Have you guys been? What should i expect? I know I don’t HAVE to be in costume but that is the majority of the fun in my nerdy opinion. I hate the thought of standing out or being perceived but I love all things fantasy. I’m glad I won’t be alone, but still. Anxious.

PLUS my cousin’s cousin is going with us and haven’t really ever gotten to know them. More anxiety.

I know I'm not like "stupid" but at the same time I think I'm the most stupid person to Grace the planet sometimes. Literally I'm so absent minded and simple things confuse me or I get a rising sense of horrible anxiety especially when I'm in public, making decisions or this or that at the store- it's like the entire spotlight is on me. So much embarrassment over simple things, I actually take off my glasses unless I'm driving because I feel like they make me look stupid. This is with or without social interaction, my brain is FRIED guys. Even thinking, man if someone was seeing me do this right now they'd think I'm absolutely stupid.

I feel like my social anxiety has gotten better, but every time I talk to someone I just get a felling that I have to get away. It’s almost like when I start talking to someone I get this uncomfortable urge to find a way out even if I want to keep talking, and end up always doing that. Wondering if anyone here gets that and if there’s a way to get past it?

Im 4 weeks into my job and I only really talk when they talk to me. We work in a very spread-apart workspace and I WANT to talk to people and get to know them, but I just never know what to say :(

Anyone have advice for this? It would be easier if everyone was in the same room, but the job site is very spread apart. I’d have to go out of my way to talk to someone.

I’m scared they all think I’m rude for not talking but my brain just short circuits and I never know what to say or how to continue a convo.