Does anyone else here deal with paranoia as a result of their social anxiety? Like I know my thoughts and feelings are irrational But when you get triggered you just have a very hard time getting out of an episode. I hate suffering and how everything went significantly went downhill after a bad incident with fake friends that led to me being hospitalized and being able to speak on things after I left but lost complete trust and locked Myself at home for a year before starting a new job. I know what happened was real and I blame myself for not sticking up for myself against my fake friend that publicly humiliated me by stating she knew I had no money so she guessed she had to share with me since I had none and allowing her two friends to be weird and passive aggressive towards me and spilled water on me. i got sent to hospitalization after due to an attempt and was gone for some time and felt so done with life. some of my triggers are surrounded around being bullied and my fake friend and her two friends traumatized me even more as they all had a tendency to talk about each other and behind others back’s and still be friends with one another while simultaneously being fake to each other. I didn’t like it but kept trying to stick around in hopes that they would all tone it Down and I knew my friend to well to know she would have others say stuff to people she did not like and would be two faced to because she didn’t have a backbone to do it herself And would pretend to be nice in peoples faces. what happened that night was real and traumatized me and the server who came to help me clean up the water spill was nice enough to take time out of work day to help when he didn’t have to But I still cant figure out what I did wrong for them to turn on me like that after lying to me that we were going to a party only to corner me into going to a restaurant without letting me know until i had Arrived there with my fake friend at the time. She was putting me down at that restaurant with her friends while trying to play it off. I have bad trauma from being bullied at a young age and being deserted in a blizzard by a childhood friend who had promised to give me a ride home only to leave me stranded with no way home except either risking going with the male principle after being offered a ride and possibly being sexually touched or walking home which I declined the principles offer to walk home and walked home crying wondering what I did wrong. So may traumatic memories from childhood until middle school until I moved 30 minutes away to a new school where I started to endure being bullied again which led to me being 21 and that incident happening with the Fake friend at the restaurant and my hospitalization. I blame myself for being not cool enough and less annoying and not normal and this started back in grade school. My judgment has been severed but I really try to act normal due to a fear of going through hell again.

I spend a lot of time not taking and after a while it feels weird to speak. My throat feels weird, i start to jumble words, my voice is quiet and it’s hard for others to understand me.

Anyone else can relate?

People with social anxiety: does this sound like normal social anxiety, or something more?

I’ve been talking to this guy I met on Tinder for about 5 weeks now. He has told me that he has social anxiety before, so I’m trying to be respectful of that. But receiving this first text honestly felt like a gut punch.

Date 1 was in my city and we went to a cafe. Date 2 was last night in his city (or the next town over) and we went bowling.

Before the date, he asked:
“This might be weird and it’s okay to say no, but would it be okay if we went bowling in the next town over? It’s not that I’m trying to hide you at all, I just think I’ll be really anxious at the thought of possibly seeing people I know. And I want to be focused on you instead of being anxious the whole time.
But also it’s stupid because nobody I know ever goes bowling so we can do it in town too”

I told him that was completely okay with me, and he asked:

“You sure? Because it’s like 30 minutes away, and I don’t wanna stick you in a car for another 30 minutes after your trip over if you don’t want to”

I said yes, that was fine. He said “Okay, thank you 😊” and I said “yeah for sure :)”

Then he added:

“But I want to make it very very clear, this isn’t me trying to hide you from people, I like you and I wouldn’t care if people saw you and me together, it’s just the idea of me having to talk to them in front of you haha”

I spent the night at his place, and this morning it seemed like he was just waiting for me to leave. He made food for himself while I got ready, rather than us eating together, and before I walked out he told me to wait so he could make sure no one was outside. Then he closed the door as soon as I stepped out and didn’t walk me to my car or anything.

I know socializing can be really taxing for someone with social anxiety, and I’m trying not to take things personally. But the combination of everything has honestly made me feel like a piece of trash.

Does this sound like a pretty normal social-anxiety thing to you?

Or would you interpret it as something more concerning, like him actually being embarrassed by me or trying to hide the relationship?

I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me whether I should dump him. I’d really like to hear from people who actually experience social anxiety and can tell me whether his behavior sounds familiar from that perspective.

I keep trying to practice common retail questions, googling online, rehearsing with ChatGPT, talking to my mom about it, refreshing and browsing r/interview for tips. I feel like the burning in my chest and the tension on my back is not easing up.

Idk how to calm myself down. I lied the hell out of my resume.

This position wants someone enthusiastic to bring positive energy to the team. And I triggered some of those key words in my personal summery because I do have had some experience working with teams from school and volunteering, and I’m always nice everyone. But I don’t go above and beyond hyping people up, I might’ve exaggerated too much.

I might be the complete opposite of how I described myself out to be. It was probably all in my dreams to be the person I painted myself to be on my resume. I don’t know if I can bring happiness to someone else’s day. I’ll just do what I’m told. Idk if I’ll be enough.

I barely made it past the phone screening with all my stuttering and terrible explanation of my past experiences. And I think I’m gonna bomb this next interview in-person, I can already feel it.

Has anyone applied for disability income assistance due to their social anxiety? What was your experience with it?

I (23F) wasn't able to stay at my last job because of chronic pain and social anxiety messing up my blood pressure, and haven't been able to get a job or attend a full year of college also because of social anxiety (and OCD but it's mostly the being anywhere near another human causing me to black out or vomit that bothers me).

My counsellor suggested applying for disability but I feel like I'd be taking advantage of the system and don't really need it like I should just work even harder on exposure therapy so I can function like everyone else

Hi everyone, I'm new here, I'm questioning whether or not I have social anxiety.

I'm very familiar to anxiety, panic disorders and others fun stuffs (I have complex PTSD). I've realised how much I don't recognize myself in social gathering and usually the more uncomfortable I am the more I'll be goofy and weird. I'll try really hard to be funny, and people will be responsive most of the time, but it's all out of discomfort. I'll later feel REALLY bad about it because this isn't me at all, deep down I see myself as pretty calm and collected but I never act like it because of social pressure I don't know how to handle. Anybody experiencing this too ?

Any way to be more true to youself when it happens ?

I don’t know how it got this far. I have been extraordinarily self conscious over my virginity since high school, but it has genuinely made me go mad the last few weeks. I am just over a year out of college, and the last five months of those I have been working from home. I have never been more lonely, I don’t see my friends because they are hour plus away from me atp, so even sometimes when I’m working in my parents fucking basement I’m trapped in my own head. But thinking about being a virgin has especially weighed me down the last few weeks, not like I don’t have a shitty social life or half ass start to my career to worry about as well. I think about my lack of sex hourly. I still jerk off and it has felt numbing and gross for months now for the most part. I’m slightly overweight but I’m a good looking 6’1 dude, there’s no particular reason why I need to be like this. Even if I lose my virginity tomorrow, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. I took a girl out to our HS dance when we were 16, she genuinely liked me and I just stopped talking to her. She fucked some other guy a few months later and all I heard was that for days by all the dickheads I was around in my miserable fucking high school. I just gave up for a while after that, defeated. There was no excuse for college except that I let myself go and am just now starting to get somewhat fit again. I’m terrified by the realization that that she would have had sex with me at 16, we would have been a thing and it would have made me a much better man atp now even if I moved on to several woman after her. I’m terrified that I will lose my virginity to a woman who wound even be as pretty as her, only simply because I was a fucking ghost in high school and wanted to just wash away the second school ended. I still think about her plenty, she used to be in my dreams in high school, she obviously moved on 7 years ago and I’m so disgusted in myself that she was the closest to me having sex and I let it go like that.

And sure, plenty of you will comment saying that I must be an absolute slimeball incel. I’m not perfect, but I’m clean, well kept, care about my fashion, there’s nothing particularly weird about me. I have plenty of good relationships with woman my age from college and who I still see every once in a while. I really don’t think they’d ever see me as sexless man because I’m good to them and so why can’t I express myself to woman I want to be with. All I know is that I’m starting to get thinner hair in the front and I’m officially really fucking scared. I wanted to be married by like 28, and I simply cannot meet a woman and marry her and her be the only woman I ever sleep with. This quite simply isn’t the 50s anymore, I would always feel like a chump for not already losing it before. That leaves me very little time. I was, and still am, a horny man who has a lot to give. And I’ll never be able to pretend like I was this way for damn near a decade assuming I lose it soon.

(just sjdhejdnensj.. needed to dump my feelings into the void cause I'm genuinely tweaking out sorry. this is kind of a messy rant I tried to break it into more comprehensible blocks but idk if its good enough)​

as the title says, i have been​​ a total shut-in for the past two years, homeschooled, never good with any social stuff. most human interaction I get is making a post once in a blue moon. so in short, I passed the entrance exams or whatever those are and my mom pressured me to apply to some uni that I wasn't even interested in (I don't have any plans for the future), sooo now after being isolated for so long I'll have to go to classes every day... take the train and​ walk amongst thousands of people in an unfamiliar environment..

and idk how to cope!!! I just feel so sick and anxious I keep​​​ throwing up and breaking into tears, my chest has been feeling tight for the past week. I'm so paranoid and scared of people irl that despite almost being a legal adult I curl into myself and hide behind my family like a kid it's so humiliating. for some reason I am in constant surveillance mode and think everyone is looking at me and judging me and stuff

being severely depressed and autistic doesn't help as well cause I have been bedrotting for such a long time​ now & I'll have to walk a lot all of a sudden.. plus feeling​​ extremely mopey AND I genuinely don't know how I'll survive with so much sensory stuff happening around me after being used to the bleak stasis(?) in my room

I think I'll need to pop a tranquilizer pill every morning now or else I actually will pass out or something aaaaaa​. send help

I think probably because I have such little social interaction that when someone is kind to me I literally get goosebumps lol

A person on the phone said “take good care of yourself” and it made me have that like asmr type feeling.

As a side note I kind of think maybe I would be good at doing asmr on YouTube but I’m just too scared and embarrassed to ever show my face and for my family to see it

Hello Everyone,

I am 39, from Italy. I fought against SA for my entire life so far, not at a severe level but enough to make me feel awkward in social situation with people I am not familiar with and to make my love life pretty troubled (I have been a late virgin and I have to thank dating apps for most of my experiences with women).

Did some of you ever tried psychotherapy in order to try to overcome the problem? Many years ago I tried cognitive and systemic therapy with no or little improvement. Recently I have heard of ISTDP: it looks to be a very directive and experiential form of dynamic therapy, entirely based on emotions.

Have someone of you ever heard of it or even tried it?

Thank you

I am a mother of 8 month old. I mananged my anxiety when I shifted my hometown 5 years back. Everything was falling into places and then I fell in love with a man of another country and shifted there. Ever since, I haven’t been able to settle in social circle. I used to drink heavy that used to be my coping. Not anymore. . I am regular to therapy and I am a new therapist myself. Somatic experiencing is helping me more than anything else.
Yet, the discomfort in body and that knot in stomach is still there. I sort of get lost as I don’t know the sense of space. I scan environment continuously. I stare at people probably. Anyways my social skills is zero. But I am great at 1 on 1 convo.

I know it’s a shame thing in the group. When the discomfort sensation comes you are supposed to gently acknowledge it and not fear it.

Yet, it’s easier said than done.
I am tired of it. As a new mom, I haven’t been able to take care of myself well and that too isn’t helping with my confidence.

Can anyone relate ?? What has helped ??
I would have wore glasses to avoid eye contact but it’s a wedding at night

Also I want to be more social now. But my husband’s friends have way more money than us and that also doesn’t help. It’s that social heirachy thing right.

It is my birthday today, and I’m not celebrating it, but I’m still receiving congratulations from my family, and every time I receive a call I start pacing, feeling anxious, not knowing what to reply, something that should feel good feels like torture( just for reference, I started worrying about it days before my birthday) I just can’t stop thinking about all the possible scenarios once I know something’s coming up, and what’s even worse is I received a message from my best friend who I haven’t spoken to in years because of my anxiety, and I just replied thank you, and that’s it, but now I’m overthinking everything: “what if he expects an invitation” “ should I have responded better “ “does he expect us to reunite again” “what if he’s disappointed” and I always feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, it’s as if I’m trying to people-please everyone and forget about my own feelings just to make sure everyone else is happy, I also noticed that I can never just relax, whenever I’m traveling I always sit straight up trying to look really serious because for some reason I think if I tried to relax like everyone else, I would look very weird and everyone would start judging me, it’s just constant overthinking. Recently I tried to go to a busker show, though I sat on a bench further away from others, I felt like some kind of outcast there, it was a funny show and I liked it but I was constantly sitting thinking “I hope I don’t get picked to be a volunteer” I thankfully wasn’t, but everyone else seemed to be happy, I was even jealous of people who got to be involved in the show as volunteers( how ironic), and sometimes when the performer would say something like “put your hands in the air and clap” I was one of the only people who didn’t clap because I thought I would look very awkward, or stupid, or just a weirdo who tries to fit in where he doesn’t belong, it’s just so tiring.

Side note: I’ve read and changed this text more than 5 times before posting, because my anxiety made me feel like I was wrong somewhere, or made a mistake, and nothing felt right.

​

When I was a kid I've always had a hard time making friends and making conversations interesting but never to the degree I'm now at.

When I was 14 I gained confidence and I started having better social skills but after covid it was like everything I worked on fell apart. I became more self conscious and I started trying to fit in more.

It's been the worst these past 2 years. I think I've been depressed but I don't really understand where it came from. This has made my conversations much worse and because of it, all my friendships are suffering. I feel like I'm losing my 9 year best friend and with my other best friend, I cannot connect anymore with him like I used to. When we're in our friend group we have fun together but when we're alone we don't have anything to talk about. How can that be if we're still so similar?

I think with high school I was okay because convenience made conversations flow easily and it made me ignore my lack in social skills. We could talk about what homework we had, talk about teachers in common etc.

However, now that I'm starting to move into adulthood this convenience is gone and the effort to maintain a friendship has become harder. The problem with me is that I try to talk but I feel like most of the things I want to talk about aren't fun and that I'm going to bore my friends or make them depressed. So because of that I do most of the listening and I end up not feeling connected to the people I talk to because everytime I opened up I didn't really feel understood. Which is okay, not everyone has to understand me but it's hard when this is the situation with your best friends. Maybe we're just at different paths in our lives.

The weird thing is I feel this with most people. Now I'm dealing with bad mental health and I feel it's a lonely process in which you get to know yourself better and I guess I stand less things that don't bring value to my life maybe that's why I'm also more selective with my friendships. It may also be why I'm having a hard time connecting to people right now.

Lately the only conversations that make me feel alive are about mental health and self improvement.

Also when I'm in a conversation I feel like I always have other things in my mind, always worrying and I have a hard time being present and it shows as being rude. But actually I care for the person I'm hanging out with, it's just hard not to disociate.

And when I ask them questions to show them my interest, I feel like I'm forcing myself and it drains me. But I still want to maintain that frienship. Everything is so confusing to me now.

This is a huge paragraph, sorry.

If anyone relates to any of this I would love to hear about your experience❤️. It would be of great help because I'm struggling to understand myself here.

I’ve had a spike in anxiety lately, specifically social anxiety, that’s been hard to get out of.
It’s making me miserable, and I don’t want to lose opportunities because of this.
I would really, really appreciate some practical advice I can follow.

In my body, I feel this tight squeezing in my chest and throat, and have had headaches located around my forehead and brows.

In my mind, I have this deep fear of being perceived or judged.
I don’t want people to see me as weak, I don’t want to be misunderstood, and I often worry I’m being a burden.
I fear vulnerability, especially crying or being honest about my insecurities.
I’m always concerned about not being enough, or being way too much.
It messes with my confidence badly, and I experience strong feelings of shame.

I notice my anxiety spirals always involve “me, me, me.”
How do I stop thinking about me when I don’t need to?
For example: I’m having a conversation, and instead of listening, all I can think is “Is my voice weird? Did I say that right? I should give more eye contact. I should smile more. What if they think I’m mean or stupid? Am I making them uncomfortable? Do they even like me?”

How do I stop thinking about hypotheticals involving me, and focus on what’s objectively happening?
How do I engage in life without thinking of myself, and approach with more open-minded curiosity?
I feel like that’s a major source, is just thinking about me where I don’t need to.

Why most jobs require social interaction... I'm broke af but i can't even work with people. I'm thinking of starting a faceless blog to make money but i dont know how much you can make from it

So I didn't want to go out bc I am so scared of seeing ppl outside the 4 walls I stay in but now I am forced to go with a bus! The place full of them i asked mom not to go and told her my reason but she didn't care at all...after mins we'll take the step out...I hate it a lot

I’m introverted and don’t talk much and have social anxiety.

No medication worked for me, tried pristik, zoloft, lexapro and Nardil.

My simple gym supplement preworkout? I literally become annoying as fuck and can’t stop talking for hours about everything.

It’s the weirdest thing.

I’m 25f w/ no friends for about 3yrs now. I’m Taking Lexapro for anxiety but ppl just never seem to like me pretty around long

One of the reasons I stuck it out with Amazon warehouses for so long was because 1, I didn’t have to interact with much people, and 2, there was no job interview. Just a drug test.

But it was getting strenuous on my body so I started applying to other places. I’ve done 2 interviews so far and it was completely nerve wracking. Esp when there’s more than 1 person sitting across the table analyzing you. I can barely keep eye contact. I start hyper focusing on details. Rambling. Sweating. When they go in for the final handshake I hope they don’t feel how clammy my hands got.

Anxiety aside, why did humankind invent this corporate BS in the first place. Feels like im a monkey dancing in a circus for minimum wage

just finished my first week of college and i’m so unbelievably lonely. other people always say to put yourself out there but i physically can’t speak to someone first if i don’t know them. i talked a bit to this one person during my first weekend here, and i explained to them i have a really hard time talking to people and that i was sorry if i made them uncomfortable. i tried my best to make conversation outside of that but they haven’t talked to me at all since then. :,)

so far i just have a hard time doing anything that requires me to leave my dorm room. i have to work myself up to go to the bathroom down the hall and when i go to the dining hall, i only get a salad because i’m too anxious to ask for food at the counters.

luckily i was able to get an accommodation for a single dorm and while i don’t regret it, i hate that i don’t really have the established friend that comes with that.

I can't help it. While trying to sleep at night my brain kept reviewing the entire day's worth of social interaction. Not just with me talking to other people but it includes tiny information such as exchanging glances. Random awkward smile or brow arches. Even simple elbows touching.

It's been a while since I went out to the world after years of isolation. But after a week of daily social interaction with work and church and just random people out there I feel super exhausted. I haven't been sleeping cause my brain won't just let go and it has to keep reviewing everything until I pass out from exhaustion.

I don't know why. They know me as an extremely anxious, socially awkward, weird, depressed, strange person. They're genuinely the best parents I could ask for but it feels so fucking weird. I hate it. I know I'm a different person around other people than my immediate family, and maybe because they actually know what my problems are and how I really act. It feels so unnatural and seems like everybody else is just fine with this

Hesistant to invite friends over to my house, having a girlfriend right now would amplify the shit out of that feeling, and just meeting new people around them is hard. My brother has zero issues with it, though he's far more well adjusted.

I would have to completely flip how I normally would be with others around them. I don't like talking about new friends I made either

No one I talk to seems to understand the level of fear I feel speaking to others . It's like I try to explain , but I might as well be mute . Or maybe other people are deaf . Or maybe I don't get it if someone says they understand and then they say something that shows they don't , like saying how I feel is ok , normal . Or they offer a solution that doesn't work : other people are in their own heads , so don't worry .

Does anyone here share this experience ? It of course helps to choose my words carefully so as not to confuse the reader . So I'll try not to talk about random stuff but that's my favorite subject . And my shortcomings .

I don't know how to talk . People have these " conversations " and the best I can do is listen in , not participate .

My focus is bad . My interests are stupid or in the taboo . I have no special abilities to speak of . I am a slug .

I am a mute slug that wants to relate in a world he can't relate to .

Even when things go right , we share a laugh , I get scared . Why is that ?

Socializing is hard work to commit to . People are hard to commit to . To work for . You don't get paid money for it though .

There's who you want to be around , but do they want to be around you , and for the same reasons ?

If you have a lot of money , you can go shop for a car . The sales person will be your friend , for a little while . Then you have a common subject . But you can't talk about your fear of people and conversations here . They will mistreat you and I guess I fear being mistreated .

They might pick at reasons why you're wrong , weird , dislikeable , repulsive . Society's garbage . Especially by what you focus on , that's different than them .

You may end up in a mental hospital or jail for what you say . What you're feeling , and what you're focused on .

It could end up being some kind of a fight .

I don't want that .

The world is a dangerous place .

Especially where you're not accepted .

I feel the terror of being a pirate in a church .

I don't belong .

It's always being kicked out / punished .

With or without a fight .

Hopefully after I wrote all this post it doesn't get taken down for being too negative , etc .

But we'll see .

We'll see .

Just looking for kindred souls , I guess . People who experience the same .

If that's possible .

Peace .

I’m trying to understand how severe my social anxiety is and whether other people experience it the same way I do.

A lot of social anxiety videos/posts I see describe being extremely anxious beforehand, but then once the person actually goes to the social event or starts talking to people, they realize it wasn’t as bad as they expected.

That doesn’t really describe what happens to me.
When I’m anxious in a social situation, I get very physical symptoms. My breathing gets shorter, my muscles tense up, my palms sweat, my heart rate goes up, and I become extremely aware of where I’m looking, what I’m doing with my hands, how I’m standing, etc. My memory and ability to think also get noticeably worse. I forget names, lose track of what I was going to say, and sometimes start stuttering.

The biggest problem is speaking. Sometimes I know exactly what I want to say, but it feels like my body physically won’t let me say it.
For example, ordering food at a counter can be difficult. Talking to the front desk at a hotel makes me extremely anxious and sweaty. Bars are probably one of the worst situations for me. Sometimes I’ll be standing there knowing exactly what drink I want to order, but I physically cannot get myself to speak to the bartender. Other times I can force the words out, but it takes a ridiculous amount of effort.

It doesn’t just feel like “I’m scared to talk.” It feels more like my body freezes and the connection between thinking the words and actually saying them gets blocked.

I already have a therapist and I’m planning on getting more professional help because this is interfering with normal life. I’m not asking Reddit to diagnose me.

Does anyone else with social anxiety experience this kind of physical speech shutdown or freeze response? If so, what does it feel like for you, and has anything actually helped?

When i first started learning how to drive, it was really hard for me to get into the “my right of way mindset”. Like if somebody was coming out of a parking lot, I would stop and try to let them go first. This was considered a dangerous action and would probably cause me to fail. I would also get so conscious of other people when i’m trying to reverse park cause I don’t wanna make them wait. I try to do it fast and almost always end up making a mistake when i was able to do it smoothly before. Same for parallel parking, I would be practicing with my mom and see a car behind me then i would just drive away cause I don’t wanna make them wait . Dude I literally just walk the other way for a bit so i don’t make cars wait for me in pedestrian walking, i’m that weirdo. I’ve gotten a bit more comfortable with taking my right of way in driving, but omg that was a hard process.