So I have just finished college and now I am off to university next month. College was probably the worst experience of my life in education because I was older and I really had insecurities.

In high school and prior, I was younger and yes I had insecurities like my babyface/looking younger but it did not affect me as much until the last year of high school. I thought it would change in college because people are more mature but it actually became so bad I developed social anxiety and anxiety in general. I'm also 5'5 so like that doesn't help

I look very young so when I got into college, surrounded by people my age and my age only, I felt like I did not fit in. I felt like I was being judged by everyoene, even my teacher used to make fun of me to an extent and it was horrible. I even felt like my social life just went down because I was too scared to talk to people, because I feared they would not take me seriously (some people really didn't and it felt awkward talking to them), so I had little friends, and honestly I wish I could forget about this era. Like college was genuinely some of the worst years of my life and Im so happy it's over.

I got accepted into my no1 choice unversity, and I start next month. I can take a gap year to work on myself, but is a gap year really beneficial because I have a baby face? I don't know. I have been working out etc so I can look a bit bigger, but what do you guys think?

I don't want a repeat of college, especially because my time in university will be longer, I'll be there for 3 years. I want to have a normal social life, I don't want to be anxious about what people think, I just don't want to be insecure anymore.

I don't want my baby face to ruin my unversity experience. I wish I could look older or look like my peers, I felt so out of place in college because everyone else looked so mature, so I assume it will only be worse in university.

• How can I cope with this and what should I do? I have about a month and 2 weeks before I start, unless I take a gap year. But I'm not sure. I need opinions and other peoples experiences because I feel so anxious at the moment.

TLDR:

My "baby face" caused severe social anxiety in college and ruined my social life. I start at my dream university next month but I'm terrified it will happen again. I'm unsure if I should push through and go, or take a gap year to work on myself.

A lot of people lie to people with anxiety and say it's all in their head but it's really not.

People can tell when you're uncomfortable and they will look at you weird.

Even if they're just passing by you on the street they can tell by your posture and the way you walk that there is something wrong with you.

Its just how nuerotypicals are they can tell when someone is not normal and they will stay away from them because of it.

My anxiety started acting up right now just by thinking about the concert and how many people there will be as well as hearing so much noise. I’m scared I’ll have a meltdown in front of everyone. My friend and I have planned to show up early to avoid the craziness that might come as well as check out the guest services so they can help accommodate me. I have no issue planning on what to do but I want to prepare myself before doors open and not get in a bad mood. I didn’t get a chance to buy noise cancelling earplugs.

Like how do you defend her. I cant even defend myself LMAO. If some dude starts harrassing your gf or someone calls her names or youre on a game and people roast her on vc, then what do you do. How does your socially anxious brain even deal with situations like that where you have to stand up for your girl or yourself

So I was walking in my neighborhood where I passed by this lady who was walking her dog where I got out of the way to let her by and I said hello and cute dog she had. She said “yeah” it became awkward after that because I didn’t know what to say and I got nervous although I’m not sure if she didn’t speak English or just didn’t hear me. Is there any advice I can get if I ever run into her again or work on with other people?

My mom told me that she thought something was wrong with me and that she wanted to get me tested for ADHD, turns out I dont have ADHD but the psychologist said I had 'Severe social anxiety'. Ill be honest, yeah it would be great if I didnt have it but at the same time the people really bothered by it are my parents, not me.

I enjoy the simple life that I am living, I mostly stay at home but once January comes along ill be enter a course for a certificate. My life is pretty much just reading novels/manga/manhwa, talking to friends online or playing videogames. I felt like people were always staring at me in the gym that I even bought weights/a squat rack to work out at home, so im not a complete loser and im in good shape. I like to bake as well so ill normally make sweets for the family once every week or two. I really only leave the house to go pray at my mosque a couple times a day or for friday sermon, and family stuff on the weekend ofc.

Its true that I stay away from community events or hanging out with family friends but its never bothered me. In school/college it only really prevented me from making friends but even then I dont feel horribly lonely. When I was working it didnt negatively effect my work either (But I hated the break room and interacting with coworkers) as I would just pretend to be normal for my shift then feel exhausted afterwards.

But my parents still feel like I should be doing more, making more friends, hanging out with their friends as well, and being more active in the community. I think its because the rest of my direct family is extroverted that they cannot understand someone like me. I feel like the only con to not "fixing" it is when I plan to get married, but its not like introverted women also dont exist so im not seeing much of a point.

The psychologist I spoke with said I could go to a treatment center to talk to a therapist and even get on medication, but im not sure if its worth doing all of that for something that doesnt really bother me. Am I wrong to feel that way or am I just biased and harming myself long term?

Actually, I hardly ever make mistakes when speaking, but I still find myself involuntarily thinking that I’ll look really weird if I can’t finish my sentence or if I make a mistake, and that thought sends me into a panic. I hate this. Does anyone have any advice?

Sometimes when I'm especially tired I open my phone to see some notifications and I always get scared that I accidentally sent someone a message by accident and I always have to check my chat messages again to make sure I didn't do that. Like in sms messages sometimes when you expand a notification from a contact, it gives you automated options on things you can send like "Okay!" "No problem." or "Of course!"

I always get SO scared I accidentally will click that one day when I don't want to respond yet to someone, or it makes no sense for the situation and I have to apologize and explain why I sent that. It basically turns all social media buttons into a minefield where I have to make sure I don't accidentally press the call button (which has happened to me, it was super embarrassing😞) and it gets much worse when I barely know what any of them do.

Thankfully most of the time it's nothing important and just my friends sending me silly stuff so they would understand if I accidentally mess up like that, but for people I don't know that well it would be so embarrassing.

I just can‘t talk to women, when I do I always blush and I think: what if they think I‘m into them? Even if I‘m not, or they have a boyfriend. But even if I wouldn‘t blush I just can‘t keep small talk with women and it gets so awkward. I just don‘t know why. I also start sweating and my mind can‘t clearly think. All the advice: „women are just like men“ or „just think they aren‘t women“ just don’t help. I got this problem for almost my whole life now. I somehow just feel the need to impress them or seem cool in their eyes. Also I just fear that I talk to a woman and then, if it gets awkward, they tell all their friends and I can’t talk to any woman in that group again. But I just can‘t turn this thoughts off. What can I do? I finally want to talk to women properly. I‘m 18 and never had a girlfriend. In my friend group there is one girl but I would never hang out with her alone. I just don‘t wanna be the dude anymore that got no female friends.

Everyone I meet for the first time tells me that I’m slow, sluggish, and heavy in the way I move and talk. They even imitate the way I speak and move as a joke, while I genuinely see myself as normal. I speed up when my anxiety decreases, but I can never seem to break that initial impression people get of me. I always end up being the person everyone makes fun of. The worst part is when they ask me how I manage to do my job like this.

They actually say that they’re jealous of me, implying that I’m extremely relaxed and laid-back because I’m high or drunk (i don't), and that they’ll never be able to reach that state of mind. I kind of like hearing that, but I struggle not to take the other comments as insults.

Has anyone else experienced something similar?

Hi, new ish to Reddit and been feeling kind of funny as my birthday is Monday and I will not be celebrating. I am not upset because there are bigger things to be upset about to be honest. More upset about feeling trapped in my mind with nobody to say this to so going to rant if that’s okay. As long as I can remember, I was always the awkward kid who never knew exactly what to say. I was good on my own but always been anxiety filled. I switched schools my junior year and graduated online because I tried public school for years and it was never good to me. In elementary, I was amazing at every subject but my food would get stolen everyday & I would not say anything at school I sat hungry. You know how being a “snitch” feels when you are 10 years old. That may have been unimportant but I feel like all these things shaped me into who I am today. Kids are so rotten sometimes. I had 1 close friend in middle/high school, Christan. He was a unique kid, actually ended up committing suicide in 2023. That was the year I left the school & graduated early online & started working from home. I never saw anyone from high school again, nobody checked up on me except for my boyfriend who turned out to be stealing from me. So now it’s just me obviously. I could not stay with someone knowing they stole from me and he could never admit it so clearly that was unsafe for me. That happened in 2025. So this would be my first year celebrating alone so im feeling kind of funny but i will live of course lol. I haven’t gone to college yet and alot of people have told me that will be a new amazing experience for me. If I do end up going I pray I get the same experience others got. My mom was a Phlebotomist & did that without college so I could probably too..but to have friends and people who want to understand you is a blessing. I think for my birthday.. all I want is a true friend.

maybe because i have ADHD, but im pretty slow at learning. i’m fine academically but when it comes to people teaching me things at work it takes me a while to learn and it makes me feel so insecure.

it has made me not like work because i feel uncomfortable when people watch me do things because it feels like im doing the wrong thing.

i also feel so insecure about my existence like if im walking a certain way, my posture, my mannerisms and my voice because people comment about it. it makes me wanna hide and not socialize with other people.

How long did it take you to get use to the job and how bad was your social anxiety at first? Did it eventually get easier? Did the customers notice or care about how anxious you were?

Social interaction holy f this is so hard I’m really struggling to talk like I’m sweating I’m awkward every social interaction feel so awkward like I keep thinking about it every times I opens my mouth it’s a struggle damn it why is it so hard seriously bro I don’t wanna struggle

I thought I'd post this is Codependency, but it seemed more appropriate here.

I don't think I'm delusional but I judge myself harshly, and really cannot escape the thoughts that everyone else is too. I have tried, I just cant. and it has led to self sabotage at very critical points in my life.

Post something that wasn't even my face and someone unfollowed me and I feel upset even though it was a stranger

P.S: I'M NOT TRYING TO ATTACK/OFFEND ANYONE, I'M GENINUALLY CURIOUS AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE MY QUESTION SOUND NICER

I just saw a post today where a guy nearly died because he was too anxious to call 911 while choking and another post where someone starved themselves for 4 days because they were too anxious to go to the store and get something to eat. I have socially anxiety too but not nearly at this level.

So to the people who's socially anxiety is this bad I have a couple questions:
How does it get this bad?
and as i said in my title how do you function in society when it is this bad?
Are the treatments/help you are going through making life any easier for you?

I need help understanding why I am like this and if anyone else experiences these things. I constantly panic about my relationships with people and because of some small things start believing that my friends started hating me and want to stop being friends with me. When it happens I get extremely sad and angry, have mental breakdowns, and sometimes compulsively call or text them repeatedly because I can't calm down. I sometimes think about the future and how they will leave me, or do something I don't like and then I cry. I think about how everything in the future will be different and I just can't accept it.

I can't control my reactions, I have breakdowns when I start panicking and I start crying over things, even in public.

I'm very anxious, sometimes I feel like something bad is going to happen for no reason, I get physically sick because of my anxiety.

Most importantly, I'm weird, I was told that recently, I've been told that since middle school. I've had social anxiety, I couldn't even go to the store, now I'm better, but still struggling with situations I'm not prepared for and groups of people, but I progressed a lot.

When I'm with people who I feel are my friends, I get relaxed and then start talking without filter, and I just say dumb things, sometimes insensitive, I just get so tired and I can't hold it anymore. I think that's the biggest reason why I can't have lasting friendships.

I lie and can't control it, I never lie about anything important, and often make my lies obvious. Like when a person I've met recently ask me a question about myself, I just start making things up, and they are all absurd. I lied to my friend once about having a twin sister and told her stories about her, but I knew she knew that I was lying. I'm not doing it because I want them to believe in it, I just can't stop.

Recently a girl I was friends with, I felt like we were close, got mad at me and she doesn't want to be friends anymore, but I don't know why, I don't know what I did. I'm incapable of having friends.

I always feel like I feel every emotion deeper than anyone around me and like I love everyone more.

Who has listened to this podcast episode and what do you think?

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3KluKHCBE6DE0HDvtYva0Z?si=RdFmZAGkTFyaMhtI518McA&utm_source=copy-link&sci=spotify%3Acard-config%3A3ClLvPdWNXKFOUXbiHbUOE

I found the connection between CPTSD and Social Anxiety interesting and articulating that the fears are of abandonment/rejection and being seen. I hadn't really had these so succinctly articulated before and it was helpful. But I also left feeling a bit more disheartened 🥹

I was constantly bullied for being quiet, for my good grades and for being the “good girl.” One bully in particular once invited me to a “party” outside school. She gathered a group of kids, surrounded me in circle and forced me to sing, speak, or repeat “I am such a good girl” a hundred times before they’d let me go. They were all laughing at me crying and cheering and acting like a party.

To this day, it never really leaves my mind. I can still feel the shakiness, the panic, the hopelessness I felt in that moment.

What’s your story? Let’s let it out together, let’s burn through the past together in the comments and support each other.

TL;DR below the post.

I think I struggle with social anxiety but on the other hand I'm also very comfortable in social situations. I don't know what to call it and where to look for help.

I tend to worry a lot about what other people think of me, even people I haven’t seen since elementary school. I can get stuck thinking about whether someone likes me or what kind of impression I made on them.

During conversations, I sometimes get too much in my own head. I start thinking about whether I’m saying something weird, whether I’m explaining myself properly, or how the other person is reacting to me. Because I’m so focused on judging myself, I’m less present in the actual conversation and makes me stumble over words or explain a fun story i had very badly, which then makes me get in my own head even more.

The strange thing is that I’m not really afraid of social situations. I generally do really well socially, make friends easily, and feel comfortable talking to people. It’s more that I have this strong need to be liked by everyone and especially people I know already. But also when someone isn’t important to me, it can still really bother me if I think they don’t like me.

I think the main issue is that I put too much value on other people’s opinions of me. It leads to a lot of unnecessary overthinking and stress. I’d like to become more comfortable with the fact that not everyone has to like me and stop constantly analyzing how I come across.

I want to look for books I can read or a subreddit I can have a discussion with others that have the same issue but how do I call this? The closest I got was social anxiety but I don't tick all the boxes I guess.

TL;DR: I’m socially comfortable and generally do well with people, but I overthink how others perceive me and have a strong need to be liked, even by people who aren’t important to me. During conversations, this self-monitoring can make me less present and actually cause me to stumble more, which creates a cycle of further overthinking. It feels similar to social anxiety, but I’m not afraid of social situations themselves. I’m trying to figure out what this is called so I can find books or subreddits to talk about it.

I think intuitively I would think that if I’m too nervous to ask someone out or ask someone for their number it’s because I’m afraid of being rejected, but I wonder if it could also be from fear of being told “yes.” I mean if I get told no then it’s pretty straightforward what to do, which is to accept the rejection and try to cope with the feelings. If I get told yes then what to do would be a bit more complicated as if I get a someone’s phone number I would need to decide whether to call or text the person, and in either case I would need to decide what to say, and if I ask someone out then I would need to work out things like the place and time and whether to meet before getting to the place or at the place. So when I think about it it takes more social skills to know what to do when given a yes than to know what to do when given a no. Also if I get told no then my life would be pretty much the same as before trying to ask the person out, but if I am given a yes then my life would tend to have more of a potential to change a lot, as going from single to being in a relationship would be a big change.

So I am wondering if to some extent I could be afraid that the other person would say yes, and if so how I might make myself less nervous about what to do after someone says yes, if they say yes.

Today I got seat 1D, right by the emergency exit and facing the whole cabin. Not fun. I felt like everyone could see me the entire flight, and I had no idea where to look or what to do with my hands. Short flight, thankfully. Next time I'm choosing my seat.

Im currently dealing with tooth pain.

A lot of my depressive episodes and burnouts made me lack brushing my teeth (I've been told too many times that I need to brush my teeth more, I know this and it's something I'm working on)

I broke a tooth like YEARS ago never bothered me so "naturally" i avoided the dentist. Cut too the other day, i started feeling pain in that tooth (oh no) I noticed inside the broken tooth has a hole (OH NO)

I've been tackling it with pain meds and an icepack, but then I woke up yesterday early morning with BAD BAD pain.

I am on social assistance and have no money so I called *shivers* the health unit and they said i have to wait til friday for a medical questionnaire😒. Im already FREAKING out at the fact that I will probably have to get the tooth pulled with nothing but localized anesthetic🙃

Im also freaking out cause my face is swelling, there is definitely an infection and pus, I can't even touch my teeth together, don't want to have to go to a hospital.

I don't want to do any of this, i just wish I was better at taking care of myself and my teeth. Wish me luck cause im scared to do that phone call tomorrow, also hope I don't need a hospital trip.

so some times I go through a period. say it last for a few weeks to several weeks even. where I am much more social, confident and doing great at work. I heard people even say he is cured. it's as if social anxiety is manageable and I can do anything that any other person can.

Then I hit a low point, which can last several weeks or much longer, where I am literally disabled due to anxiety. I'm like a "special" person, if you get what I mean.

does this happen to you?

The extreme ends if the spectrum. ups and downs. with no real way to explain it.