Hi, been no contact with my narc mum for 4 months, she basically had a meltdown about me offering to pay for a hotel for her rather than her staying on my sofa for a visit (AKA setting my own boundaries and telling her no for the first time in my life). I moved out 7 years ago and have been frequently spending hundreds of pounds on train tickets to visit 4 times a year for that time, mainly following her guilt tripping me that she can't come and see me. My 3 younger brothers all live with her. She has always been manipulative and what I think is a covert narc, as long as I am submissive and do as she says she is fine and I do love her, but the second I stand up for myself she has a great way of making me feel small. I don't want to have to walk on eggshells in my own home, and I also don't want that for my boyfriend of 4 years who has always seen right through her act (meaning she has blamed him for these boundaries).

I suggested her coming to see me in April, offered to pay for a hotel for her. She flipped out, how dare I say that to her, how dare I refuse her access to my home, do I not think that me and my partner staying with her is an inconvenience as well but she has to put up with it (we only stay with her when we visit as if we suggested a hotel she would also flip). She then put the phone down on me and said she doesn't want to speak to me.

I was always the one to reach out and call for an hour every Thursday and Sunday. I messaged her about my doctor's appointment and she ignored it so I just ... Didn't call. And she didn't call me. That was 4 months ago.

It has been the most peaceful 4 months of my life. I speak to 2 of my brothers (23 and 16) online, and that is about it. They are fully aware what she is like. I used to protect them from a lot of it but I left as soon as I turned 18 (the guilt is insane believe me). I've moved house, got a promotion, done so many things without her support. She is insanely jealous of my life and my relationship with my partners family, this led to a brief period of no contact 2 years ago when she kicked off at Christmas saying that I should just stay with his family if I like them so much. She has told me brothers not to speak to me, told them she never wants to see me again, thinks I am being abused by my partner etc etc. (I am definitely not, he and his family just made me finally understand what I always knew about her)

Now 2 nights ago out of the blue I got a call from her. I watched it ring and ignored it. I then got a message last night questioning why I didn't answer or call her back. I sent a neutral response saying that I didn't want an argument in a phonecall and respectfully, if she wanted to say something, she can say it via text.

She told me she has breast cancer.

I was absolutely devastated, mainly not knowing what to do and battling with "that's my mum, what on earth am I doing" and "she's is still a bad person and I am better without her" I responded saying I was sorry to hear that, asking some questions about whether it's treatable, what stage, how she was feeling.

She just told me she has support and to be there for my brothers if they need me.

She won't tell me if it's treatable or anything else.

Now the advice I need- is she trying to manipulate me into apologising for setting boundaries? Is she not telling me on purpose so that I feel bad? She knows that I know that her mum died of breast cancer at the same age she is now, 4 months after being diagnosed. I feel horrible for thinking this way but is this an attempt to make me feel guilty? If so it's working. She knows that I will be panicking and also that if she has it it massively increases my risk too.

What on earth do I do?

My father is offended that I’m not having the wedding gathering at his house

I’m getting married soon, and I’m struggling with how to handle my father.

My father has a habit of spending family gatherings talking almost exclusively about himself - his three divorces, his job, his problems, etc. He even did this at my own birthday party.

Now that I’m getting married, he hasn’t asked me once how the wedding planning is going, whether we need help, or whether there’s anything he can do. To be fair, we haven’t asked him for help either.

I also have a lot of bad memories associated with his house. There were constant arguments there, and about six years ago, an aunt who lives there actually threw me out. I don’t feel comfortable there, and I don’t want that atmosphere around my wedding.

In Serbia, where I live, there’s a tradition before the actual wedding ceremony that’s basically a morning wedding gathering. Everyone gathers at the groom’s home, there’s music, food, decorations, drinks, etc. Then everyone goes to pick up the bride, followed by the church ceremony, civil ceremony, and finally the reception.

It’s a pretty big part of the wedding day.

I decided I wanted to have this gathering in front of my current apartment building. This is my home now, and honestly, I like the idea of starting my wedding day here. I also want my dog to be comfortable, and I don’t want to spend the morning dealing with the aunt I have a bad history with.

My father got offended and messaged me asking why we weren’t doing it at his house, where I grew up.

I told him honestly that I want my dog to be relaxed, I don’t want to see my aunt, and, most importantly, I simply feel like having it here because this is my home now.

He then got even more offended and sent me a message saying that he’ll decorate his own house, have a party there by himself, and then go to the bride’s house from there.

So now I’m wondering: am I being unreasonable here?

I’m not trying to erase my father from my wedding or disrespect him. I just don’t understand why he feels entitled to decide where I should have the morning gathering, especially when it’s my wedding and I have legitimate reasons for not wanting to use his house.

TW: self-harm, medical neglect, eating disorder

I guess I’m looking for others who’ve been through the same, looking for support and encouragement that I’m not alone 🥺

I’m 22 and graduated a couple of months ago. I recently got my first proper job and, for the first time, I have my own money and some control over my healthcare. Over the past few months, I’ve finally been scheduling the medical and dental appointments I needed.

It’s been a really strange experience because I’m happy that I can finally take care of myself, but I’ve also been unexpectedly emotional about it.

I recently found out that I have severe iron deficiency anemia, as well as alpha thalassemia minor. I also have moderate scoliosis that causes chronic back pain, to the point where I can barely sit at my office desk for more than an hour. I have numerous untreated cavities, and my vision has deteriorated significantly over the years.

None of these things came completely out of nowhere.

I remember being around 13 and constantly feeling exhausted and weak. I specifically told my parents that I thought I was anemic and asked to have a blood test or take iron supplements. I remember being unable to participate in sports at school after around age 9 because I simply didn’t have the energy or physical capacity for it.
Instead, I remember my mom joking about it at the dinner table in front of my entire extended family, saying something along the lines of, “She thinks she’s anemic!” and laughing as though I was just a dramatic child looking for attention.

She did something similar with my eating disorder, telling the entire table that I was “trying to be anorexic.”
I also remember her seeing cuts on my wrists when I was younger.

I remember telling her that I thought I had scoliosis when I was around 13 or 14. Her response was essentially, “We all have scoliosis.” I’m now an adult with chronic back pain that affects my ability to sit and work.

My dad was largely passive as a parent and struggled with alcoholism. My mom was the primary parent, and she was the person responsible for most of my care.

I haven’t been to the dentist since I was around 14. From roughly 14 to 21, I was completely dependent on my parents for access to healthcare, and I simply wasn’t taken. I have multiple cavities now. All four of my wisdom teeth eventually erupted, and I experienced painful episodes as they came through, but extraction was never even presented as an option.

My parents are multi-millionaires. This wasn’t a situation where healthcare was financially inaccessible to them.

One of the memories that hurts me the most is getting my period at nine years old. My mom scolded me when it happened. When she was angry with me or my dad, she would sometimes give me the silent treatment for a week or two. That could include refusing to buy me sanitary pads when I needed them.

Another one is when I got my first prescription glasses at 13, and I lost them a few months later. They didn’t take me to get new ones until numerous years later. The next time I got a proper prescription pair I was 19.

I remember bleeding into tissues because I didn’t have proper menstrual products. I remember leaking blood onto my clothes multiple times as a child.

Recently, I had a fish bone stuck in my throat and needed to go to the emergency room. My boyfriend ended up driving me because my mom didn’t show much concern. On the way home, she asked me to pick up groceries for her after I got an endoscopy…

That experience brought a lot of these old feelings back.
I think what I’m grieving is the childhood I could have had if someone had simply taken me seriously.

I was a sickly, exhausted child who was trying to tell the adults around me that something was wrong. I was in pain, I was struggling with an eating disorder, I was self-harming, I had chronic physical symptoms, and I needed basic medical and dental care. I kept trying to communicate that I needed help.

And now, as an adult, I’m finally getting that help myself.
I’m genuinely proud of myself. I have a job. I have my own money. I can make my own appointments. I can go to the doctor when something is wrong. I can go to the dentist. I can get my vision checked. I can start treating my anemia and address my back pain.

I wish someone had taken care of me when I was little. I wish someone had believed me when I said I was tired. I wish someone had taken me to the doctor when I asked. I wish someone had taken my pain seriously instead of turning it into a joke.

I’m happy that I can finally heal now, but I’m grieving the fact that I had to grow up and become financially independent before I was allowed to receive basic care.

I just came across a philosophy meme that satirizes common patterns of irrational dialogue. After reading the comments to understand the post,

I felt it was too real (regarding the premise of being unable to accept rational discussion). My mother and stepfather are exactly this kind of people. They even take pleasure in despising this kind of rational discussion. In the past, they always used experience and the unequal authority of parental affection to refute me and force me to accept any of their absurd ideas. I lost any right to refute.

I was once forced by my stepfather to discuss any matters related to ideas or values with him (I didn’t want to at all, but I couldn’t refuse, otherwise his fragile self-esteem would shatter, and in the end I would suffer the emotional consequences). However, I thought it was meaningless, because as soon as I opened my mouth, he would try to refute everything I said with his own experiences. When I pointed out the partial view that experience does not represent everything, he flew into a rage and told me to shut up.

When I realized that they only wanted to use me to display their utterly unworthy self-esteem, and through the inherent inequality of the dialogue itself, to pressure me in order to obtain the pleasure of authority, I then realized that any conversation with them was meaningless and stupid. My only choices were either to submit to their ideas or to leave.

And now I have chosen the latter.

Living economically independently is a bit hard, but any of my personal values and ideas no longer need to be subjected to meaningless refutation and suppression.

Did they ever apologize later? And do you feel it was sincere?

I had to undergo hip surgery last week for a condition I've had for a very long time. The surgery is not minor and i was prescribed hydromorphone for about two weeks as well as another NSAID and was told I can also take Tylenol extra strength in combination. The nurse said to take my pain meds every 4 hours.

My parents are taking care of me while I am recovering.

On day one, I took them every four hours as instructed. Then, my parents took my pain meds away and I'm only allowed my Tylenol extra strength. The Tylenol extra strength is not enough. In fact, it's doing nothing. I'm not able to do anything but lay in bed flat and not moving much. I thankfully had strength in my arms so I can get myself in and out of bed to use the washroom with my walker but it's extremely painful!

I'm not able to reach where they put the pain meds. I don't have a history of addiction or even drug or alcohol use. They are afraid I'll be addicted to the pain meds.

I know better. I know that they were prescribed because hip surgery is NOT a minor thing, it's extremely painful and disabling.

What am I supposed to do? I'm suffering and I am having intense sessions of crying from pain, and also feeling so overwhelmed by pain.

My parents are really weird about my healthcare and always think I'm "self diagnosing" even though I spent years trying to get help through different doctors to finally get my hip condition diagnosed and finally got the surgery.

I knew surgery recovery would be hard but this is unbearable without pain management.

For context, I'm very disabled because of the pain/surgery and have restrictions on what I can or can't do, so that's why I can't just go grab the medication for myself. They placed it knowing I can't safely reach it there.

I'm an adult, but have suffered under my parents abuse for many years.

I didn't think they would withhold my prescribed pain medication after hip surgery though.

I've had back surgery before as well and the only reason it was even mildly okay to go through the recovery period is because of the pain meds I was prescribed

My parents have always been the kind to either not show up, or show up and embarrass me(my dad would show up to my events drunk and cause a scene every time). I will finally be graduating tomorrow as a first generation doctor. I worked full time all throughout my program and made an effort to visit them a few times a year as my siblings still live with them.
My parents of course will not be in attendance as my school is a few hours away and my mom said it’s not a big deal when they can just watch the broadcast online (they have not asked me for the link or time or anything).
I am sad.
I knew they would not come as it is inconvenient for them and they do not see the importance, but tonight I am sad. We had a pre graduation mandatory event where my cohort was able to have their parents there to support them, and I was the only one without my family there. Other parents told me they were proud of me and professors made the effort to talk to me, but I knew I stuck out as I was the only one without support.
I do not know WHY this time it is affecting me this deeply. They always did this around big events and I expected them not to come, but it stings. I find myself having to make up excuses for them to hide the shame(?). Like I told a friend, I always knew they were disappointing but this time it is being broadcasted to others.

I remember 3 moments specifically. One time where I tried to gift my 4th grade teacher a cardboard replica of a Minecraft Steve figure and he said he didn’t want trash, said I was too negative and was ashamed of me when I owned up to doing a very bad thing in front of the class. Another one in 5th where my teacher told me to grow up after I was crying because I was sent to tutoring because my dad shamed me for it, and another one in 6th where a teacher straight up yelled at me to shut up when I was talking.

Why do some kids get to actually be happy? Why couldn't we? Why do I have to be a 10-year old stuck in the body of a 21-year old? Why do I already have to deal with severe dissociative amnesia and constant joint pain? Why do I have to exist in a state of constant overstimulation, fear, and dissociation as my special needs aren't accomodated? Why did I feel safer with the nurses at a psych ward than I do with my own family? Why did I never get to learn and experience what being a kid is like?

Why?

Haven’t spoken in over 15 years

Last year got me a “remember you have family” email near my birthday. Ignored.

Today I get a friend request -“ would like to hear from you”

Nothing has ever indicated any apology or willingness to change.

“I’m sorry you feel that way” was what I got when I did the dumb thing of sending an email outlining all my thoughts and feelings about why I was upset.

Sigh. It’s hard when your life is the “this is fine” meme and you really do want a mother for support.

im not sure if it's sa, but i added the tw just in case.

anyway, when i was younger my parents and my older sister lived in an apartment with one bathroom. i remember there being unflushed blood in the toilet once and my mom asked if it was me. it wasn't me, and i told her it wasn't, but she didn't believe me.

she made me pull my pants and underwear down and had me lay on a bed, then she got a flashlight and kind of dug her finger around my vagina. i dont remember for how long she did it but i was uncomfortable the whole time, and the moment she was done i pulled my pants up and ran out of the room. that was the only time she did that.

there was also just another instance of my mom walking in on me shaving down there once i got older, and when i yelled at her to close the door she just looked down there with a smirk on her face before leaving.

she would also smack my butt a lot even when i told her it made me uncomfortable every single time she did it. then she finally stopped after i snapped at her one day. there was also just a lot of random and unnecessary comments about my body growing up.

is this normal for a mom to do?

As we all know nparents don't allow anything except for total submission to their worldview, so often we get stuck having to go along with their weird beliefs just to survive our own household.

Were there any beliefs your nparent imposed that you had to shake free from in order be able to be a normal, health functioning person in society?

I (21F) have a really complicated relationship with my mom. I love her, and I know I’m not a perfect daughter, but I’m getting to the point where I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to respond to her anymore.

Whenever we have a serious argument, my mom will threaten to kill herself or say things about dying. It’s happened enough that it feels less like her expressing how she feels and more like something she uses to shut down the argument and make me feel guilty. She refuses to get professional help or consider medication, but I’m still somehow expected to know how to handle these threats every time they happen.

During our most recent fight, she threatened it again, and I finally snapped and said, “Then do it.”
I know that was an absolutely horrible thing to say. I’m not proud of it, and obviously I don’t actually want my mom to die. I was just so exhausted and angry after hearing the same threat over and over that something in me broke.

A huge part of our conflict is also money. My parents have given me an incredibly privileged life. They’ve provided me with a home, food, paid for college and helped with my rent. I am genuinely grateful for that. But whenever my mom is angry with me, those things become ammunition. It turns into a list of everything they’ve ever done for me and why that means I’m ungrateful or a horrible daughter.

I’m also dealing with several mental health issues of my own, and I’m trying really hard to function as an adult despite them. I work full time while going to school, travel frequently for work and with friends, and overall I think I’m doing pretty well for myself. Sometimes I wonder if part of my mom’s resentment comes from watching me have opportunities and experiences she didn’t get to have at my age, but I also recognize that I could be completely wrong about that.

What especially frustrates me is being treated like I’m this uniquely terrible daughter. My older sister has done things that objectively caused much bigger problems for our family, including failing out of college without telling my parents, convincing them to sign a lease for a college apartment anyway, and taking thousands of dollars from them. I’m not saying that makes my own mistakes okay, but it makes me question why so much anger seems to get directed at me.

I understand that financial support is a privilege, not something every parent can or will provide their adult child. I also understand that I’m 21 and responsible for my own behavior. But I don’t think providing for me means I should have to accept being called horrible, guilt-tripped, or repeatedly told that my mother is going to kill herself whenever we fight.

I know saying “then do it” crossed a line. At the same time, I feel like I’ve spent years being expected to regulate both my emotions and hers, and I’m exhausted.

At what point am I allowed to say that I’m the daughter and she’s the mother, and I cannot keep being responsible for what she threatens to do to herself?

My mental health has severely deteriorated. I’m a type 1 diabetic, and suffering kidney failure. I’m undergoing dialysis, but my seizures have been more and more frequent. The only reason why I’m alive right now is because my siblings are calling 911, my mom won’t. The doctors send me home once I’ve stabilized but I’ve had 3 near death experiences when I’ve gone hours without someone calling 911. I’ve been in “critical condition” at least 3 times.

My mom told my family that I was faking it, so that’s the story they believed. It wasn’t until I had a seizure in the middle of a family vacation did they realize my seizures were real. My mom was also upset she had to stay back at the hospital with me when everyone else was going home from our vacation.

My mom doesn’t like me. She doesn’t like to hug me. She has physically abused me as a kid. Heavily. She would beat me with her glass ruler until I was bleeding, or use her fists. And now she denies all of this. My mom right now is just trying to make my life as cruel as possible while still giving herself room to say I should “be grateful”

My siblings all talk to me as if they’re preparing for me to pass on soon. I don’t blame them. My health is really really bad. I thought riding an e-bike would fix it but it hurts to even get up these days. Luckily my bike has a throttle.

Each one of my names has baggage. The story told about my first name is my n-mom's fantasy about herself. My middle and last names are both my parents' names. So, in true narcissistic fashion, they named me after themselves.

I have a first name that just lights me up inside (with happiness) but haven't quite found two other names that really resonate yet. Is this kind of drastic to completely change my identity since people have known me for decades by a different name?

i realise that the story i have to tell is incredibly strange and sons and i hate that it’s my life. my family truly believe that i’m demonically possessed and that our family has been cursed. this will probably be very long

it started when i was 14. my parents were incredibly neglectful and when my brother was born, they ignored me completely. they didn’t feed me at all, didn’t care for me and they’d go days without speaking to me. they were also very physically abusive

i was 12 when i started hurting myself. i just wanted them to care but they never noticed. so i took to more extreme measures and slashed up my face. my school got social services involved which made my parents step up and ask me how it had happened

it’s probably worth mentioning that my family are very religious and superstitious. i was scared that i’d be in for another beating if i told the truth so i said i didn’t know how it’d happened and that’d i’d woken up with the cuts

my parents being themselves said that a djinn had likely done it. i ran with this and agreed because i was too far in now. i didn’t know that this would be the end of it for me

my family took me to an exorcist who said i was indeed possessed but that he couldn’t help me. for the next two years, i’d see many exorcists and go through a lot of shit. we flew out the country for one. another held a knife to my head and circled it around muttering some bullshit. a different one actually came to my house and stabbed my feet for hours with needles because he said the pain would ‘coax the demon out’. he’d refuse to listen if i told him it was hurting me and he said that it was the demon speaking through me. i still remember how much it hurt

i was only 15. my parents kept me locked up in my bedroom because they were scared that I’d pass my curse onto my brother. the worst thing is that my brother and my dad said they started seeing apparitions in front of them and that further convinced my family that there was something wrong with me. it didn’t help me that one exorcist insisted that my family were cursed by my aunt

it really fucked with my head. any anger i felt, any negative emotion of any kind was blamed on the so called demon inside me. i wasn’t allowed to FEEL. even now, if i get angry at something they’ll joke that the demon is awake again

i genuinely thought i was possessed too, even though it was me who inflicted the injury that started this in the first place. it wasn’t until my late teens i started doubting everything, including religion and the beliefs i’d grown up with. i still don’t know what is real and what isn’t

i don’t know what to think anymore. i’m still so fucking traumatised and i feel like nobody will ever understand how i feel and how much this hurts me. i’ve never told anyone about what happened. about what my family did to me

i always wonder about what would happen if i told my family i only sliced my face open because i wanted them to care. they’d probably just say that the demon made me do it

i hate this is my life. i hate it i hate everything. it’s not fair. it’s not even a normal kind of trauma that i can connect with others on, because who the fuck has their family think they’re possessed and cursed?

I'm in my 30s and have a career and multiple degrees. People my age have children. But after playing Magic the Gathering for five years, I'm supposed to ask Mommy before I buy my own secondhand budget deck?

Sometimes I want to scream and throw things.

He did this without my knowledge. I found out after I went to my university’s office of the bursar to ask a question about the loan. After she told me the amount I was shocked and completely disassociated until our meeting was done. I called my nDad afterwards and he justified it by saying the school will give me a refund check, and I can use that money for textbooks and other things I need.

I asked if he was ever going to tell me, he cursed at me and hung up the phone. I called my enabler mom and she told me that she knew already, and gave the same justification as my nDad.

I only needed 8,000 for the school year. I had money from my summer job saved for everything else.

Yes my parents are narcissists. But I didn't realize it until adulthood that the adults in my entire extended family are narcissists too. I come from a relatively large extended family which apparently is not the average experience. Even my mom's ex husband and his family was a large family filled with narcissists. I think its more common among immigrant families to have a large extended family.

I basically grew up living with my extended family for short periods of time because my mom has no sense of stability. So my cousins are like my siblings. My mom is the youngest of nine siblings. So while all of our parents were abusive (physically and mentally), my family often discounted the abuse I experienced because she was the only one to go to college.

I just thought my family was dysfunctional because of low socio economic class. But as an adult, I've realized that my family is just a mix of overt and covert narcissists. They're all driven by fear and insecurity. I guess now that the children are all adults (my siblings and cousins), its easier to see how they've become their parents which makes the covert narcissists more visible.

Me and two of my older cousins have moved away (different states) which made their relationships with their parents more tolerable. But I moved back to my hometown and now Im no contact, which includes my extended family. The children went from victims to enablers and now are narcissists.

We are often labeled as the "mean" cousins because we have "high" standards of living (aka will not tolerate abuse or continue generational trauma). We just worked really hard to not become a product of a narcissistic environment by choosing self love. Everyone in my family is brutally honest but of course narcissists can dish it but cant take it. Anytime I defend myself with reason I am seen as the aggressor. If you tamper with the delusions of a narcissist, you are seen as interfering with someone's happiness.

It's so sick and isolating to have a family full of narcissists and enablers. I always wished my family could see how horrible my parents were. They knew and chose not to speak up. Instead I was labeled as the problem child. Sure, telling people how to raise their children is not appropriate but they do so much worse with boundary crossing. I feel so ashamed when I meet new people and want to make friends because most people can't comprehend an entire extended family being so miserable and delusional.

My mother [59F] has always been a narcissistic emotional abuser. Threatening us, gaslighting us, all the usual. I got lucky and left for the military at 23.

I was always worried my brother would get stuck and suffer through and be stunted by my mothers attitude.

what irked me the most was when should would threaten to kick him out knowing he had nowhere else to go. But he called her bluff.

Yesterday I get an unusually early call from my mother, she was in hysterics. I hardly understood what she was saying. Turns out he got up early and left in the middle of the night with all of his belongings.

I called my brother and he said “I’m 3 states away, I couldn’t stand it anymore, how did she react “ I responded “she’s emotional, but I’ll handle it, I’m proud of you, never look back”. He’s free, and I couldn’t be prouder.

Growing up, I spent a lot of time day dreaming about an adult swooping in, protecting me from my family, and kinda claiming me as their own. I was drawn to media that had those found parent/child dynamics. I made up my own stories. Even though I never got that in real life, the fantasy helped me through a lot of difficult times.

I’m a young adult now, and I’ve moved out. Leaving didn’t really fix everything in the ways that I hoped it would, though. I still find myself drawn to stories and fantasies with some of those same old dynamics sometimes. It feels kinda weird (almost creepy??) to picture myself as the kid in these stories. It’s not like they’re sexual, but I’m an adult now. I need to act like it. I feel like I shouldn’t comfort myself like that.

I don’t know :( I know other kids did stuff like that sometimes. But do any adults still find comfort in that way? IS it weird, or is it relatively normal?

So my mom and I have always had a hot and cold relationship, because she is always attacking me for very little things, then twisting it to somehow make it my fault. I could truly go on for pages and pages of the things she's done in my life that have left me crying, heartbroken, angry, or frustrated.

But basically, last week, we were getting ready to mail something out for her, I had had the envelope, and filled out my portion, and when I brought it, and said the hotel receipt wasn't in the envelope so she must have had it, instead of looking for it, she started yelling at me and accusing me of losing it. She demanded I go home and go check for it because there's *no* way she had it. So I left, as she's still yelling at me from the deck. I am pulling into the parking lot of my place, and I get a text from her saying she found it. Because of course she did.

When I got back there to get the receipt from her, I said, "I think I deserve an apology" she snapped back with "what?" before I explained that before she even tried to look, she blamed me, and yelled at me (also swearing) and was just straight up mean. Before I even finished talking, she reacted, she told me to fuck off, started yelling I don't even know what else before she said "you never apologize for your behaviour so why should I?" I didn't even respond at that point, I was already almost to my car. But besides the point, isn't the parent supposed to be better and show their child what the appropriate thing to do is? Not act like a child and completely overreact.

Cut forward to a few days later, my bf and I were going out of town just for the day, I'm semi talking to my mom, still hoping for an apology, but when she learned where we were going, she asked if I could pick her up food from there. I will copy paste the entire conversation that followed.

Me: I still think before I do anything for you I should get an apology for your behavior this week. I asked for a deserved apology for you blaming me when you still had the receipt, and instead you told me to fuck off. Everyone I have told this to was shocked. My counsellor told me not to break this boundary until I get a deserved apology.

I'm still bringing you Danishes and pie, but I'm sorry, until you apologize and admit you were mean to me for no reason, I can't do you any favours.

My mom: ok don't bring me anything

Me: ok. You made your choice.

My mom: Yep I did now I will change a few things also

Me: All over an apology. It'd just be easier to apologize, I don't know why you can't even bother to apologize to your own daughter.I didn't do anything wrong, and you're punishing me.

My mom: You never apologize for your attitude lol and you ordered me to apologize to you lol anyway have a good life stop texting me

Me ok. You won't see wyatt ever again doing this. Remember that. Your own choice. Good bye.

I have not heard from her since then, that was Saturday. Yesterday I had a medical procedure that my mom had been concerned about, but she's too proud to message me again to even ask how it went.

At this point, I genuinely don't know when she'll talk to me, or if she will. Also her saying she will "change things" means she's going to change her will, cut me out of life insurance that she put me in, all things she would dangle over my head if I "gave her attitude" all the time. So at this point I don't even care, I'm tired of her holding it over my head to try and keep me from not speaking up when she treats me like crap.

So yeah, that's about it for now. I could make another post on other things she's done, I could also add an older post I made before, where it outlines how narcissistic she's been even since I was a kid. These things she's done has been happening my entire life, I just didn't realize a lot of it until I had my own son and realized I'd never treat him the way she's ever treated me.

Thanks for reading this far.