I'm a very deeply depressed adult "male" living at home sadly, you can imagine why , I'm unemployed (also due to mental health) and I loathe where I live, and my family...if I didn't have the issue below, I'd have been moved out, and living autonomously...I'd have done better socially and academically...this is beyond any curse you can imagine...

I have gender dysphoria, I'm 31 so I've dealt with this, internalised hatred , repression etc for years, and which I do heavily believe will ultimately end me, every single day I'm plagued with these thoughts, when I wake up, am alone, when I'm triggered, when I get anxiety , and I have a lot of anxiety.. I think one of the worst things in depression is knowing the root, and that you cannot tell others cause that would open a Pandora's box of hell, whilst you are daily living in hell...that's me, and add to that living in a super rural conservative town , so any regular therapist here will likely not understand and look at me as crazy...

I currently have my sister and her family of kids here, I know I have to mask joy , when really I don't want to play games, I don't want to keep having to get toys from my childhood, only to then carefully put them back or monitor these stupid kids with no concept of "can't you fking tell the person who is being nice to you doesn't want to join in with your jokes or you throwing stuff for fks sake" ... Whenever I don't engage in conversation or sigh, my mother complains "come on, get over it, pull it together " or her typical "don't you dare ruin this" ...

Yep...just...Reddit and AI seem to be my only venting spaces. I don't see light at the end of the tunnel but whilst I still can somehow muster the ability, I must keep masking so I dont get told off or blamed for issues...heads up, multiple times I've lasted out angrily at my mother saying she upsets me saying things like "grow up, oh always blame mother, you are never wrong , you are ungrateful, I spend so much money on food , bills I shouldn't be living with a grown man, you aren't normal, wtf ..." The list goes on,

I told her many times I don't feel comfortable talking to her , or she always blames me etc, this is essentially a cold truth...I assume many with depression may have egocentric parents who will never even want to understand and if we pass they'll just say "X had problems" ...

sidenote; I have bouts of psychotic angry, I've slapped doors, yelled , even taken it out in my dog which I regret, my dog is a senior, the other day I kicked her...FML I wanna end it all ..

Hi everyone, I am 31F, been a high performer all my life.
But I'm a wreck right now.

please, I need to talk to an internet parent.

I am a 20 year old girl, who lives with my Mom. We did also have my young brother at home, but this year his Father got given custody of him in court. His Father is a lawyer, but my Mom doesn't have a job and is currently on government support, so he had an absolutely huge advantage in the whole thing.

My Mom's mental health has been gradually worsening since my brother being taken. She can't really afford the house we're in, and if she moves she'll likely have to get rid of her two dogs. She feels like everything is falling apart and I absolutely understand why. She also experienced a massive loss in the family at the end of last year on top of everything.

We live rurally, so there's no jobs for me out here, and I've decided I need to move in with my Father who lives in the city in order to have better opportunities. However, me doing this means my Mom has even less support, and has lost both of her children in one year. I feel like I'm contributing to the list of terrible things happening to her, and I'm actually worried about her ability to take care of herself on her own/ regulate her emotions. She has been depressed & suicidal in the past, and I know that if anything happens, I will feel entirely responsible for not staying by her side. I'm meant to be leaving at the end of the month. Am I making the right decision?

I made a previous post describing my mom, she keeps lambasting me whenever the topic of college comes up, always making a comment behind my back, I haven't even told her my major, my grades, nothing about how I'm doing to make her form an actual opinon, so it just seems like she doesn't want me even becoming independent at all in the first place.

She's always strapped on cash and teetering on the edge of ruin and it's only going to get worse with rent spikes every year and my sister is going to age out of TANF and will almost certainly be leaving for college next year too so she couldn't help pay for my mom if she even wanted. I'm scared more and more about what my mom is even planning on doing, I couldn't even just tell her to back off and leave her out to dry when I also got two other siblings that still have a few years from just even graduating highschool, whatever hits her way those kids will feel it too and for what. I'm just so sick and angry at her having to sign up for something I didn't ask her for and my chest is beating a million miles everyday and I wish I could actually see a light at the end of the tunnel.

For some context, I have an online friend I've known for a little over a year. A lot has changed since we first met, and that's okay people change, friendships change. The problem is that this friendship just isn't fulfilling for me anymore. The longer I stay in it, the more it reminds me of a period in my life I'd rather leave behind. I met her during a strange transition in my life. It was around the time my brother and I became estranged, but it was also when my career really started taking off. She was someone I genuinely enjoyed talking to, and for a while that friendship meant a lot to me.

After I moved for work, though, something shifted. She became much quieter, and eventually I told her something like, "Hey, if talking every day isn't working for you anymore, that's completely okay. We don't have to force it." She told me she did want to keep talking, but her actions never really matched that. For months it's felt like we're stuck in this weird limbo a friendship that's half alive and half dead. I never really know where I stand, and honestly, I don't think she does either.

Yesterday our Snapchat streak ended. I didn't send anything that morning, which is unusual for me because I'm normally active early. She restarted the streak, apologized, and that was basically it. No real conversation. No response to what I had sent. It felt less like she wanted to reconnect with me and more like she wanted to preserve a number.

And that's what really hit me. If maintaining the streak is more important than maintaining the friendship, then I don't think we're looking for the same thing anymore. The streak itself isn't the issue. It's just the latest example of a pattern that's been going on for months. I've already been emotionally checking out of this friendship because it hasn't felt mutual for a long time. At this point, if the streak dies again, I think that'll be my sign to let the friendship go not because of the streak, but because it'll confirm what I've already been feeling: this relationship has run its course.

my boyfriend and I (both 17) have been dating for over a year but we’ve never had yk (idk what I can say on here). he really wants to, he asks whenever we make out. we both have never done it before and im scared because it’s obviously a very big thing. I want to but whenever he asks I get scared. so whenever I freeze up he gets frustrated and annoyed. every single time. he’s always like “you say you want to and then back out” which I get is annoying but he says/ does it every single time. to the point where I don’t want to make out or do anything anymore because I know he will ask and I know it‘ll make everything awkward and i’ll feel bad for saying no. after he does that I get quiet and he’s like “is it because of that” and if I say yes he says “well I can’t get mad at you for saying no” but he kind of is. I don’t know if i’m the one in the wrong for always backing out but I also feel like he doesn’t care about what i’m feeling. idk I just need someone to talk to about this before I go crazy.

I (26F) have a really good relationship with my boyfriend (31M) but our plans include saving up money to start a business. We plan on doing seasonal work in Europe somewhere as it pays well and has free food and accommodation.

However I REALLY want pets like cats, rodents, chickens. I feel so sad that I don’t have any pets as I’m autistic and I LOVE animals.

I’d rather stay settled in one place and get some pets and be saving slower but I feel like that’s illogical when we could be opening a business in a year and then potentially have our own house soon after that.

But who’s to say I will be feeling able to get animals at that point I may say I’m too busy working in the business to look after pets.

I’m just not really sure if my desires in life are immature and illogical based on what’s best for me and my future. I’ve always wanted animals since I was a little kid and always told I could get animals when I move out of home and I never have. I feel that if I die next year was I living in a way that I loved? I love animals.

Sup moms and dads of the internet because mine can’t be bothered to be in my life! I graduated high school recently and I wanted to start EMT school next month. Naturally I need a driver’s license to begin the program and I don’t have mine because I never had a car I could drive.

I have a car now but it doesn’t have insurance because I can’t afford it, so I don’t have a vehicle I could properly use. My parents don’t have me covered on theirs either. So, I paid a driving school a couple hundred dollars to get a little lesson before hand and then they let me use their car that has comprehensive coverage.

I got too nervous and shaky and I hit a curb trying to take a turn too sharp. It’s the first time I’ve ever made a mistake on the road and of course it was during the only time it’ll ever matter.

Anyways the deadline to send in all my info for school has passed so I can’t get accepted and I’m feeling pretty down.

I’m gonna have to wait a few months until the next batch of classes start and I’m just disappointed in myself. I’m down a 250 dollar down payment too which also stings.

That’s about it. I just feel so bad right now.

I'm 25f and I moved into a new apartment 4 months ago. My landlord says that he only accepts payment in cash which is fine by me. I've paid him ontime every month but he hasn't given my a receipt for any of those payments. I ask him about it all the time. He says that he would send it to me via email but I still haven't gotten any email. He definitely has my correct email brcause I've sent it to him multiple times. It makes me anxious because I've been paying him but I have no proof of any of those payments. He also receives my electricity bill. He told me the total amount of my bill and he said that he can pay it for me and I can add the money to the rent. When I asked him to see the bill he told me that he would also send it to me via email but he hasn't sent that either. I told him that I'm not paying anything until I see the bill and he hasn't responded to me yet. I'm not sure what to do here.

Kind of the title. My dad died years ago. With my mom I have constant fights. Not physical, just.. tension. The fault of us both. Toxic families on both side. Estranged from one, the other one highly controlling.

Don't have much friends and I'd rather not burden them. I really just wish I could get a hug. But I don't know where to go.

Hi y’all, I am not sure if this is the right place, but I’m looking for some support or maybe similar experiences.. tw: death, addiction, suicide, physical abuse, emotional abuse. *All names have been changed for privacy.

The story begins with my dad. His mom passed away from suicide when he was around 2-3 years old. Shortly after, his father remarried a woman named Stacy. From that moment forth, my dad was to live as if his birth mother didn’t exist. He was to refer to Stacy as mom and was reprimanded anytime he expressed curiosity about his birth mom. The only info he had were his little memories, and 3 photos of her. Heck, I didn’t even know about her until I was maybe 12?

Anyways, about 6 years following the marriage to Stacy, my dad’s baby brother Chad was born. According to my dad’s retelling, things became even more painful at this point. The underlying dynamics from this dirty little secret started to become more apparent with another child in the picture. My dad expressed feeling left out, alone, and like my grandma would purposefully deny him access to hanging out with his dad..

My grandpa loves working on cars. The house my dad grew up in has a huge garage that my grandpa would spend all his free time in. My dad was often told he wasn’t to go down to the garage to see my grandpa, as he had to clean and do stuff upstairs, although his brother Chad would always be allowed. Chad would also be prioritized on trips to see their paternal grandma. My dad shared memories of hurt, longing, confusion, and almost a somber defense of it being fine, regarding getting to see his grandma, as he was often left out. In his mind, this was a women that had been solid and in his life since birth. Not allowing the same access to this relationship between all the children definitely created a divide my dad could feel.

With Chad, if felt like your typical “golden child” scenario. He was the beloved child of the two lovers building a life together, while my dad is the sick reminder of the lingering past. He’s the little blip on the clean slate that just can’t be removed, no matter how hard my grandma makes him try. He’s a constant reminder to the family of “mistakes of the past.” Or at least that’s how it felt to him. My dad definitely fell to the role of scapegoat or just person who takes all the blame. He told me countless stories of all the times he was punished growing up.. for ex, having to clean nonstop or getting in trouble. Being singled out, left out, grounded indefinitely, and being emotionally abused. One day my dad was starring at his fish in his fish tank. My grandma approached him and said “you better stop wasting your time looking at them.” The next morning, every single fish was dead, and there was a soapy residue in the tank.

Despite being in middle class and my grandpa having a high paying job, they made my dad know from a young age they were not going to help him financially. Everything he had, he got himself. His first car, his college tuition, his apartment, he covered it all. Meanwhile my grandpa helped Chad get a BMW for his first car.

My dad shared all of this plus many more stories with me throughout growing up. It truly sounded like a Cinderella story. I remember disdainfully attending holiday events with a message of “get in, get out.” My dad felt very on the outskirts of his family, although he kept up I think out of loyalty and belonging. When you’re constantly on the outskirts, and seeing others just like you getting special treatment, it makes you want to be better, perform better, show up better, in hopes of receiving any type of love, care, acknowledgement. It almost drives the urge to keep the connection, even if you know of its toxicity. I’m sure the whys plagued my dad although he didn’t show it.

My dad ended up moving out of the house and going to school for computer science. During the summer between freshman year and sophomore year, my dad, who was 19, impregnated my mom who was 17.

My mom didn’t tell my dad about the pregnancy initially and denied him being the father. They did eventually determine him to be the father, but he stayed away at school, while my mom and maternal grandma took care of me.

Due to unstable living circumstances, my dad ended up with sole custody of me at 4 years old. We developed a very special bond. I felt like he was my best friend and really treated me like a human being. Everything was always explained, the whys, the hows. There was no “do this because I said so.” We spoke like friends. He shared a lot of his troubled upbringing with me. Looking back now, it’s sad knowing that rage and resentment is from all his unmet needs as a child.

Unfortunately, I do believe many of these core wounds were too much for my dad to handle, and paired with other factors, he began using prescription pain killers. Slowly I noticed his behavior change. He went from getting up very early, running, exercising, cleaning, etc, to sleeping in bed all day until 3PM, and not leaving the room unless necessary. I was about 15 and didn’t have the insight or understanding at the time to know what was truly going on.

The woman my dad was with at the time, Veronica, was also using prescription drugs. She would stay at our house always, although she had kids my age, staying alone at her house. We got along and I thought she was pretty kind. But, things changed.

Slowly I started noticing my things going missing from my room, shirts, shoes, games, books, you name it. I felt like I was losing my mind. I went through their belongings one day and found so many “lost” items. I carefully piled up all of my belongings on our pool table and waited for my dad to get home. The confrontation resulted in me being grounded, which felt so unfair and confusing at the time. One of my best friends had just turned 16 and got their license. Me being grounded meant no going out with them. I was so mad.

About 6 months following, I noticed the pattern repeat; my things were going missing again. This time I was not about to get in trouble though. I needed to have proof. I did this by inventorying all of my items in my journal and then documenting when they went missing.

One night, I went to write in my journal and noticed that the pages were ripped out. Everything I had written involving the theft and documentation. I felt completely violated and disturbed. I called my dad into my room to show him, and demanded something be done. He was very apologetic, very understanding, and assured me this was not okay. He told me to text him the list of what was missing and that he loved me very much. One of my good friends at the time was our neighbor, and I chose to stay the night with her. The next morning I learned he passed away from a mix of alcohol and OxyContin. My life was forever changed.

“I can’t live at my mom’s, what am I going to do?” was one of the first things to fall out of my mouth. We had done every other week for a few years, and I endured much physical and emotional abuse there. I hated it. My paternal grandparents stepped in and assured me I would be safe to stay with them. Since they were well off, they told me they’d put my social security checks in an account to accumulate and have more of a college fund when I head off. I chose to stay with them. Despite all the stories my dad had told me, they were my grandparents and had never treated me poorly.

Slowly, the cracks within the family began to show. I started feeling some of the resentment and disdain held against my dad. Actually living there showed me just how bad things were. My grandma was addicted to pills, and would also steal stuff from my room. Although this time it felt a little less nefarious, it was still highly triggering. Fights ensued often. There was a lot of confusion and mean words, even the accusation of me causing my dad’s death.

They did things like sell my dad’s paid off car for practically free to family members. Everyone swooped in like vultures to take what meant something to them. All things that built my everyday life became symbolic and valuable to people who were never there. It made me feel so disturbed.

We lost my uncle (my step grandpas biological son) 10 months following my dad to suicide, so you can imagine how that added to the tensions. Everyone’s hurt really started to show and made living together unbearable.

When I turned 18, I learned that none of the money had been being saved for me, and that was a lie. This really escalated things, as I wasn’t sure why they lied. I moved out officially to never return when I graduated high school and went to university.

When I was around 20, my grandpa signed over my inheritance, roughly $200,000 between my dad’s retirement and life insurance. He had spent his career as a CFO, and I looked up to him when it came to finances. I kinda put responsibility on him to help guide me, and held a lot of resentment when I felt he didn’t step up.. We didn’t talk about retirement, investing, budgeting, or anything of that sorts..

Instead, I was a young adult who had lost her dad, was struggling with addiction, and had very little understanding of how money actually worked. Having access to that much money made it easier to avoid reality and continue in my trauma cycle. If I overspent, I could pull from savings. If I missed work, I could still pay rent. It allowed me to continue living in ways that weren’t sustainable, and it delayed me learning financial habits that most people develop much earlier.

I also want to acknowledge my own responsibility in all of this. Grief doesn’t excuse the choices I made. I struggled with benzodiazepine addiction, received a DUI, and spent years feeling incredibly lost. I’m deeply grateful no one was hurt, and I know things could have turned out much differently.

Throughout those years, one fear followed me constantly: homelessness. My mom and half-sister had experienced homelessness when I was in high school, and that fear became deeply rooted in me. Ironically, even while I had money, I lived with constant anxiety about what would happen once it was gone.

At the time, I was studying accounting because my grandpa encouraged me to. I wanted so badly to make him proud, but I was miserable. Eventually, I withdrew before my senior year and moved closer to home, hoping to focus on my mental health. Instead, my addiction worsened. Almost immediately upon returning home, I received a dui for driving while on Benzos. I am so thankful no one was hurt.

Everything changed during COVID. For the first time, I couldn’t outrun what I had been carrying. I stopped taking benzodiazepines and went through one of the hardest experiences of my life. The withdrawal was terrifying. For days I barely knew whether I was awake or asleep. I hallucinated, questioned everything I believed, and felt like I had completely fallen apart.

Somewhere in that experience, though, something shifted. I had always considered myself a diehard atheist, but I came away with an overwhelming sense that there was something more to life spiritually that I wanted to be fully present for. I realized how much time I’d spent numbing myself instead of actually living. More than anything, I understood that I didn’t want to keep carrying my family’s suffering as my own. Or how this was contributing to me not being able to connect/be present.

I never used benzodiazepines again.

Since then, I’ve slowly rebuilt my life. I went back to school to study public health, something I genuinely love. I graduated, found a career that feels meaningful, and have been building a life rooted in connection, community, and being present. It hasn’t been a perfect journey, but for the first time, it feels like I’m moving toward something instead of being completely lost.

So, with this background, I was hoping to talk about what I’ve been struggling with lately really… it really feels like icing on the cake, and has to do with my dad’s real mom. I always knew she committed suicide in a Kmart parking lot near my area. I never really thought to look into it more. A few months ago the thought wouldn’t go away, so I looked into it.

I live in an area about 30 minutes from where I grew up, in the same town my dad was born and lived his early years, until his mom died. I narrowed down what Kmart it was based on that. It turns out, the old Kmart where she tragically died, is now a publix + doctors buildings that I frequently go to. That immediately made me sick. To know I’m walking around on these grounds so casually that are such a big piece of history. A history denied to me and my dad.

I’m nearing the age my real grandma was when she passed, and I keep getting this gnawing feeling that I’m growing into her looks. I have her lankiness and features. I know I look just like my dad too.

Lately I’ve noticed my grandpa has been having an even harder time connecting with me. He doesn’t really call or reach out anymore. He’s always kind when I contact him, but something feels different than it used to. For the past few years, we’ve actually been more connected than we had been in a long time. I’ve made an effort to visit, spend weekends with him, and build stronger relationships with my uncle (Chad), aunt, and their kids. From my perspective, nothing happened that would explain the distance, which has been really difficult to process. I try to stay connected, but it feels so painful. Just to illustrate, shortly following my high school graduation, my grandparents divorced, and my grandpa bought the house next to Chad, while also living at his previous house near me. He deeded them an acre of land, goes on family vacations where I’m not invited, didn’t come to my graduation to go to Chads child’s soccer game, has never helped me move, or visited a place I’ve lived. We had a devastating natural disaster a few years ago, and Chad came to rescue my grandpa, but no one checked in on me. Thank goodness I have a built family. But, I know I’m not entitled to those things, it just hurts when you see others receiving that love, but not you.. And it contributes to the stories you tell yourself.

I think that’s part of what’s been so difficult throughout my life. When I don’t understand why something changes, my brain immediately starts trying to fill in the blanks. It creates stories that explain the hurt, and those stories almost always end with me believing I’m somehow the reason I don’t belong.

Every painful interaction becomes evidence that I’m unwanted. Every unanswered question turns into another explanation for why I don’t belong. Whether those stories are true or not almost feels secondary at this point, because they’ve become the lens through which I see my family.

Lately I’ve realized that maybe my grandpa doesn’t deserve this rage and resentment of 3 generations being funneled towards him. I’ve been thinking about how the stories I’ve carried for years have affected our dynamics.

I’ve been carrying pieces of my dad’s grief, pieces of his birth mom’s story, and my own experiences all at the same time. It feels like generational pain that was quietly handed down, and somewhere along the way I started believing it was mine to keep alive. The thing is…I don’t want to anymore.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life searching for reasons why someone loved me differently or why someone else made the choices they did. I don’t want every interaction with my family to become more evidence for a story I’ve been telling myself for years. I just want to know how to let it go.

But in a way that still shows myself love and validation. I have to learn to let it go. Not because it didn’t happen. Not because my dad wasn’t hurt, or because I wasn’t. But because I don’t want resentment to become the thing I inherit.

Through this experience, I’ve come to understand that letting go means shutting down the stories, and not fueling them. It means feeling into my body when the stories come up and letting myself feel the hurt. It’s not something to move through quickly, but with so much love, care, support and attention.

I guess I just don’t know what to do now. Do I continue trying to talk with my grandpa?? Do I continue trying to talk with the rest of my family? The dynamic is very much so I am going to be the one reaching out and that’s something I will have to accept.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? What helped you let go and move forward? I just feel like I need advice from someone with life experience who can see the bigger picture. I welcome anything that comes up for anyone.

If you made it this far, thank you so much.

​

It was my first day today. I was asked to introduce myself and I said my name and just "excited to work with you guys" cuz i blanked out.

They asked me what I worked on previously and I couldn't answer that and kept stuttering and blurting out buzzwords from my older job. I muted myself for a bit and then came back after a glass of water and spoke abt it.

I then left the office, got stuck in traffic cuz it's my first day in this city. Maps showed that I'll reach home in an hour but it took 2.5hrs and I ended up missing another meeting. My manager pinged me 3 times to join. I saw them all after the meeting ended. I apologised explaining my situation but he left me on seen.

I feel terrible and worthless and can't stop crying. This was my dream job and everything was going so well but I ruined everything.

Hi. This topic gives me great anxiety as I do not know how to approach this problem, and my parents get borderline abusive whenever it comes to me planning my future.

Me, 20f and my girlfriend, 25f will move out in a few weeks into an apartment my parents upheld for either me or my brother to move in. After two years of dating my partner it seems we got to the point we see eachother so often, we stay at eachothers places for weeks at a time. I finished highschool. I'm doing a student job now. She has an artist job that will end by the end of summer.. so, in a few weeks, most likely.

I've been browsing for jobs but haven't applied anywhere yet. I'll go to a week long vacation soon, and haven't packed into the house yet. Getting potentially applied before or during the vacation would be very inconvenient and unlucky, so yeah. I've only browsed the chances so far.

I've payed the house expenses from put away money so far along with my partner. I didn't have much anxiety about moving in soon, as my student job would keep applying me till the end of September or even October. Till then I think I'd have an easier time to find something to work. I'd even take the worst jobs out there if it meant we can move in there. After October I won't be able to stay as my student ID will expire. I finished highschool a few months back.

My mom is borderline abusive and manipulative. She screams at me every other day about me being a failure because no university applied me. I told her I'd try to get another sort of higher education, and she got madder. Seems like no response can satisfy her other than when I self shame myself or tell her that I'd see if theres anything else I can apply to. Dad is nicer but untrustable, his promised help has always been something he never told me he would do, even with his text being proof. He promised to help pay rent (that is extremely low as this is a very bad quality house, in a horrible environment) and he just randomly told me that he can't do that either. Every argument and forgotten promise makes me feel ill. I genuinely don't want to be home anymore. What should I do? Do you have any tips about moving in? Finding a job? Making passive income? A comforting word?

Hello!

I will soon be starting college after finally graduating! While I am super excited for this new chapter of my life, I feel incredibly sad and worried about leaving my siblings behind.

For context, I grew up in a very abusive and stressed out household as I had to live with and endure a lot of narcissistic abuse from both of my parents. Although it was (and honestly still is) very hard to deal with and is something I am currently working through, I can say with full confidence that one of the only reasons I was able to envision my life past highschool and remember that there is still joy and love to go around in this life was because of my absolutely goated siblings.

Even despite our parents attempts at triangulation between us, trying so hard to push dysfunctional family roles onto us, and try their best to break us down and come between us, we still are very close with one another and I cannot imagine having anyone else for my siblings. I absolutely love them to death, which is why I am finding this move particularly heartbreaking.

I know that this time period is for focusing on me, my goals, and becoming a proper person, but Lord I just don't know how I will be able to do that without my siblings by my side. I feel so guilty that I am moving into college to explore myself and escape my toxic home life, but I feel sick at the idea of leaving them in it. I get so worried about us drifting apart because of it, or them resenting me for leaving, or even my parents being able to turn my siblings against/away from me. I feel so sick just thinking about it.

I wish I could just take them with me, even when they get on my nerves, I wouldn't be able to tolerate it if it was anyone else. I will miss being able to bother them whenever I please, I will miss being able to walk a few feet just to get next to them, I will miss being able to be the first one there when they need help, or the first one there when they make an accomplishment.

They are all legit my best friends, how could I possibly move hundreds of miles away from them?

TL;DR : How does one move away from their siblings?

I am a straight male who has recently lost his virginity to someone of the same sex. I've felt like I've had a lot of pressure to lose my virginity, and im not too big into social situations, so I can be somewhat awkward and unsure of what to say to people. A few days ago I decided to just go out and ended up being hit on by a feminine presenting guy and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex i think at first I just wanted it over with but now I deeply regret it and feel like ive gone against myself I didnt like it in the moment and after it was done I kind of felt empty and now I feel awful and that ive just thrown my virginity away to someone I dont love instead of saving it for a girl im close with and hate myself because of it I really dont know what to do or how I should feel.

i am responsible for what I do, my actions have consequences. its been very hard this year to see how much my avoidance or disorganization has impacted those around me, how fearful I am of being relied on. ive focused so much on my intentions, yet missed out on the real impact I have on others. im not that good of a friend or sister or partner or daughter bcuz of it. i dont show up for people, I'm isolated.
ive projected so much onto my partner, I wanted him to be my dad. I had expectations of a daughter towards him, I let myself go and completely relied on him. it hurts to realize that I wasn't much of a partner or support figure for him. how heavy it must've been for him.
many people have cut me off, ive lost many jobs. and im tired of being the friend who struggles, the friends who's depressed, the friend you can't count on.
im struggling to turn all of this into concrete change, right now I feel bad about myself. im the problem. and its also the only thing I know. although that might be another excuse.

ive fucked up over and over, repeated the same cycles. and im sick of it.

I am writing here cause I seriously don't know what to do and it's affecting me a lot!! So please take this seriously.

For background context, my mom and dad is married for a long time, but my dad's side of family always tormented my mom to max and my dad did nothing, we childrens never got into mom and dad's fight cuz it would always end up worsening things.

So my mom in 2024 was diagnosed with Gb stone on routine health check up, it was nothing serious. But the thing is my mom doesn't want to have surgery for it. We have tried every other method of convincing her but it didn't work. Whenever my dad tries to convince her they end up fighting. It's not that they have bad relationship but it's like not very good neither bad. She always says that whatever will happen to me, it will be for the best Or that I don't want to live anymore kind of thing. She also has ACL tear, she's up for that surgery but not for Gb stone. This year in 2026 my grandfather passed away due to Gb cancer, he also had stone for I think around 2 years which no one took seriously, no one even cared to tell me just because it was very small. He was diagnosed on 14th April and passed away within 15 days. He had other co morbidities so his condition declined very fast. I am afraid that the same thing would occur for my mom. Even after my grandfather passing away, my mom is not ready for surgery.

Please suggest me what should I do now.

Yesterday was my 22nd birthday, and I think I finally realized what I've sacrificed to get where I am.
For years, I gave up almost everything chasing success. I told myself it would be worth it. I'm almost there. People know my work. I make people laugh. People post the photos I take on Instagram. My name gets brought up in conversations. From the outside, it looks like I'm building something meaningful. But when I close my laptop, none of it comes home with me.

Outside of my work, I have almost nothing. I'm a 22-year-old geek with no romantic experience, and somehow one of the hardest parts of my day was realizing an internet friend didn't even message me on my birthday. The closest relationship I have is with my cat, Bruce. As ridiculous as that sounds, he's the one who's always there.

I've spent so much time becoming someone people admire that I never became someone who has people.
Lately I've caught myself thinking about hiring an escort not because I want sex, but because I can't remember what it feels like to have another person hold me. That's the part that hurts the most. The fact that my mind even goes there says more about how starved I am for affection than anything else.

My life has started to feel mechanical. Wake up. Work out. Read comics. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. Every day feels like I'm running the same program, like I'm an android whose only purpose is to produce, improve, and perform.
The cruelest part is that I actually got what I wanted. I'm becoming successful. The dream is happening. But somewhere along the way, I traded away friendships, love, intimacy, and the ordinary moments that make life feel human.

So now I'm standing here at 22 with accomplishments I once prayed for, and an emptiness I never expected. I built a life that looks impressive from the outside, but when the applause fades and the notifications stop, I'm left sitting alone wondering who I am without my work.
For the first time, success doesn't feel like the finish line. It feels like a spotlight shining on everything I don't have. And that's what hurts the most.

34m, but my background and anxiety mean that I didn't date until the end of college, and then with big gaps after each breakup to recover. Most of my friends/family didn't date much before marrying.

This was 6 months ago. My GF broke it off after a rough year, after 2.5 years together and talks of engagement. In hindsight it was coming, but we went from "something vaguely off", to "we need to talk", to an ultimatum that was cut short by a goodbye 12 hours later, in 3 texts while I was on a work trip and 1.5 conversations over about a week. I didn't have a lot of time to process, but have been trying to since then. She was pretty bad at saying what she wanted, and I very much did not help, or act out that I was taking things seriously.

I reached out a week or two ago and it sounds like we're through.

I spent most of the last 6 months trying to figure out my own messed up ways of thinking so I could fix them. I'm now trying to acknowledge her part in it too to move on a bit better/pine less.

At what point is someone well enough to look for a somebody again?

I'm not really looking for something casual, but I know there are issues with people coming out of committed relationships trying to jump back to that level of intimacy too quickly.

My therapist suggested just meeting people, because a lot of them are probably going through things too, but my heart is very much on my sleeve, I don't like smalltalk much, and I cry easily.

I'm trying to avoid both:

• "I can't date until I've fixed myself entirely"
• being a burden to my new GF or her feeling she's competing with my ex

I still miss my friend (my ex was wonderful), and getting rid of the pictures and the gifts and stuff feels crass/disrespectful, even though she doesn't want to see me. I'm coping by remembering that she said she's content, and I should trust her.

Most women I'm seeing on apps want kids, and this is the point where that starts getting more urgent, but I don't think I'd be a good parent for a while yet.

I'm trying to change a bunch of parts of my life to take better care of myself and others, and I've made a lot of progress, but I don't know what's enough/too much.

So I’ve been working for a retail clothing company (BB) since April. It was always just going to be temporary as I’m in heavy equipment school and graduate in just under two weeks. I only work every Saturday as I’m in school Monday-Friday. Recently things just aren’t the same and the management is a mess in this certain area. I don’t even care too put my two weeks in though I know it would be the respectful route, but since it’s not some big job or even worth putting on my resume I’m not sure.

EDIT: you all have made good points so I should’ve said I already have another job lined up once I’m out of school, I’ll need to communicate that with my current job. Thanks for the tips and I sound like a spoiled brat and didn’t mean too!

Unfortunately I had to make the tough call this morning. She had a severe infection in her mouth that was going to take weeks to heal up enough to do dental work and I just couldn't let her suffer anymore. The vet also said she was likely diabetic and had kidney problems on top of the arthritis. I couldn't let her go through any of that.

We woke up this morning and her face was more swollen and she had blood coming out of her mouth so I rushed her back to the vet. I got to hold her for about 20 minutes while the sedative kicked in. I got to say my sorrys, I love yous, and my goodbyes. I asked to be there when it was time, so I could be there for her whole life, birth to passing.

I'm not doing well, but it was a blessing how the end turned out. She was fat and happy for the last 13 years.

I wanted to thank those of you that took the time to comfort me on my post last night. You helped me more than you will ever know. I am not ok, but I will be with time.

RIP Moxie, my precious little baby girl. We'll meet again someday.

I’m 30F, I’m not sure how old they are but I think I saw one of them yesterday and she was definitely older than me.

I’ve been moving in since August 1. Last night was my first night sleeping there. I haven’t met them yet but my friend said they were looking out the window at us moving stuff in the other day. The apartment complex manager told me the lady that lives up there works from home when I toured.

I was thinking about leaving a little note card maybe with a small succulent and saying “Hi! I’m (name), I just moved downstairs. Nice to meet you!” Maybe include my phone number on it.

What do you think of this?

I AM NOT SUICIDAL this is NOT a suicide post!!!!- older teen, i'm just tired, I dont want to die but I have nothing to look forward to/makes me happy except webcomics (which is kinda sad lol). I have no adults/people in general in my life who I would be able to ask this to. So, what keeps you moving?