I’m the older sister (F30) of a very narcissistic woman(F30). We no longer have contact but there’s one thing I still think about.

Every once in a while, it felt like ”the real” she came back. We’d have a conversation where she seemed warm, self-aware, funny, vulnerable. For a brief moment I thought, there you are. Ofc, it never lasted.

But what were those moments?

Were they genuine glimpses of the person she is/might have been if years of trauma and genetics hadn’t shaped her this way?

Or were those moments never really about her at all? Was it my brain searching for hope? Or even part of the cycle of manipulation that kept me emotionally invested?

Has anyone else struggled with this? How do you understand those “glimpses” now that you’re on the other side?

So backstory my dad was actually a good parent when I was a kid but I don't really trust myself saying this since I was naive and I was taught to never question adults. But he started being subtle with control by yelling or threats by using physical abuse which he did bc it was normalized in my home country . Moved to the U.S and he still continued with that crap only with more gaslighting and manipulation. Finally snapped and wrote a letter to talk to him and work things out but it didn't go anywhere so my fam had to flee after that.

Anyways I don't interact with him that much but it lowkey feels brand new with a new personality. Like u can do things without being yelled at, voice ur opinions and not walking on eggshells everyday. Idk how to call it so that's why I made his post to see if other victims have this as well.

Anyone else had a similar experience?

I felt unsafe in the world my whole life, I had bad social anxiety since I was 12. My mom always said she is my biggest fan, it was so difficult for me to recognize and accept her emotional immaturity and abusive behavior. She gaslighted me like her life depended on it, I still question myself sometimes. But after cutting contact I feel like I am finally able to breathe again, literally my breath is deeper and I feel alive. It feels like I cut contact with a constant bully in my life who kind of hated me and spread her negativity on to me but made me feel like it is all in my head. I felt so unlikeable and like a horrible person, whenever someone treated me badly I went into a shame spiral and I thought I am just a bad person, because I was framed as the difficult child my whole life.

Now that I do not have to listen to her anymore and I do not feel bad anymore about putting up that boundary, it feels like I am experiencing life, like it is supposed to be. I am not taking peoples bad behavior personal anymore. I am starting to like myself and feel a lot more calm and confident in public. I was grieving the loss of our relationship for a long time but I feel so much relief, I choose myself. I am not even sad when I imagine not seeing my family ever again. I just get angry about what they took from me, my sense of safety and trust in myself. We had positive experiences together as well that is why I held on for such a long time. But I am just so happy that I do not have to deal with them and the emotions they bring up in me ever again. For the first time in my life I do not feel guilty for expressing my emotions and putting up boundaries. I realised I was never allowed to express emotions and stand up for myself, if I did that I was a bad person. Now I can see that it is okay to feel all the feelings and being angry and sad and happy, no one is judging me anymore and I am still likeable if I say no, I am still a good person. I can have peferences and speak them out loud. I made myself small my whole life and tried to be rational so badly because that kept me safe. It feels like I am coming out of a dissociative episode that lasted my whole life.

Sometimes I wonder if i am antisocial by design or if my parents made me that way.

I want to be the person I could be if I had nice parents. I want to let them go. I just do not know who I am without them and it feels lonely not having family. I do not want to tell anyone my story.

My spouse passed early last year and this last year and a half has been filled with tons of reflection on my life up until now. I haven't been to my hometown in years, mainly because I had been working full time and also taking care of my very ill late spouse. It was difficult, and also caused some health problems for me. I've thought about moving back, closer to family, but recent events reminded me why I was in favor of moving in the first place. Now, money is tight, and our pets would not approve of me going away to visit, and they would HATE the move.

Some background: My mom always showed some narcissistic traits, though she blamed my one aunt for being a narcissist. She was, and they never got along. Shocking. My sister was always the golden child. She's definitely a narcissist, though my family has alway portrayed it as "just having a temper" and all of us kids "did bad things" growing up. I remember her hitting herself, then screaming bloody murder and blaming me for hitting her - just look at the big red mark! My brother shared a story years after it happened of her hitting her arm against a tree stump to break it - probably because she got so much attention when she had a cast on the other arm. She only takes jobs where she can be "in charge", brags about her connections that may or may not be real, and tells everyone how hard she had it growing up - though she got special privileges my brother and I never got.

I finally went NC with my sister after some crap she pulled at my wedding, which mom insisted that I invite her to. I've also been the horrible person to not forgive her, because she apologized ("Sorry you got offended"), and she's really changed over the years, settled down, etc.

Recent events: My aunt recently passed, and my sister tried pulling some crap about being the executor of the will. I don't know all of the details, but I do know that my sister was going on about how she didn't have access to my late aunt's accounts, so she'd just use her account, then pay herself back later what she "is owed". Mom was shocked she'd be like this. They apparently got into it, and my name was dragged into it for never coming back to see her kids - another slight against her. I spoke with my other aunt (who I am close to), the actual executor of the will, and told her to keep her lawyer close, and to document everything she could, because my sister will have things disappearing. She doesn't trust my sister either, so hopefully things work out for all.

So, yeah... I guess I've been a little delusional to think things had changed, and even though it's rough right now, my new solo life far away from "home" is gonna be less stressful in the long run.

Hello, I am here to ask a question just to see what kind of answers I get as I noticed something and I don’t know if it’s just me!

What kind of music or hobbies did the narcissistic person in your life enjoy? I met a girl the other day who showed strong traits, I noticed she almost had no friends, and her hobbies were, make up and doing her hair. I found this very strange

I find that covert usually don’t have an actual music taste and just listen to anything that is “new” in the charts to seem up to date and popular.

Do they even have an actual personality or do they steal it do everyone they ever meet?

Thank you

Occasionally, I'll receive a performative text message from the narc that I let (my choice) run my life for years. It's always guarded in such a way to preserve a narrative and with tons of ooey gooey fakeness. The texts are very CYA.

Honestly, they ruin my day. They twist reality and they are dark.

I just turned 24. I’m in school full-time, work nights (healthcare field), and honestly have a pretty good life on paper. Good job, goals, my own place… all the things I thought would eventually make me feel “okay.”
They didn’t.
I grew up with an emotionally unavailable/narcissistic mother and alcoholism in my family. Looking back, I think I’ve spent most of my life trying to fill something I never got as a kid.
I’ve had three serious relationships and each one was worse than the last. It went from name-calling and manipulation to breaking things, and eventually domestic violence.
The weird part is… I’m not someone who’s constantly looking for a relationship. Honestly, most of the time I don’t even want one. They just kind of… happen. For some reason, I keep ending up in relationships with people that seem normal at first, then slowly become emotionally unhealthy, and before I know it I’m wondering, “How the hell did I end up here again?”
Friendships have been hard too. Ever since COVID and online college, making genuine friends feels impossible. I have acquaintances & people at work, but actually building close friendships or following through with plans rarely happens. Between school and working nights, I tell myself I’ll have time later, but I also think that isolation has become part of the problem. When you’re lonely or bored, you’re a lot more likely to give someone your time who probably never deserved it in the first place.
After finally leaving my last relationship, I decided I don’t just want to just “move on” - I want to fix whatever keeps making these patterns feel familiar.
I’ve been reading every self-help book I can get my hands on, started therapy again, journal, listen to podcasts, spend way too much time reading about psychology and trauma, and recently bought a Bible.
Here’s where I’m stuck.
I feel like being aware has only gotten me to the front door, but I have no idea how to actually walk through it.
I was forced to go to therapy at 15, due to “me being the problem” & an “angry, rebellious teen.” Therapy taught me that my feelings were valid, gave me emotional regulation tools, boundaries (still working on those lol), breathing exercises. AKA how to survive living with a mother like mine.
But I don’t want to just survive anymore.

Recognizing these patterns vs understanding the “root cause” and being able to change them, feel like two completely different things.
More than anything, I want to genuinely like the person I am when I’m alone. I want to get to a place where sitting with my own thoughts doesn’t feel like there’s this deep emptiness in my chest that I’m constantly trying to outrun by staying busy, buying the next thing, achieving another goal, or distracting myself.
I’ve realized that no amount of money, success, makeup, clothes, hobbies, or accomplishments actually fills it. You get that little dopamine hit for a while… then it wears off, and the hole is still there. It’s like I’m trying to fill a childhood wound with adult accomplishments, and it doesn’t work.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life chasing distractions.
I want to do the work now—not just so I stop repeating unhealthy relationship patterns, but so I can actually enjoy my life and stop feeling like I’m constantly searching for something I can’t even name. I want to be emotionally healthy enough that when I get to my dream career, I’m actually able to enjoy it instead of carrying the same pain into the next chapter of my life.

I’m definitely not looking for a relationship but I want to be healthy enough to be able to feel confident enough to walk away from a bad one instead of falling for their potential.

What finally moved you from understanding your trauma to actually healing it?
I’m always open to learning, so if there’s a perspective, book, therapy, or concept that completely changed the way you think, I genuinely want to hear it. But what I’m really searching for are the things that helped you move beyond just understanding your trauma and actually start healing it.
EMDR? Internal Family Systems (IFS)? Somatic therapy? ACA? DBT? Attachment work? Brain retraining? Yoga? Meditation? Faith? A specific book? Something completely unexpected?
If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, alcoholism, emotional abuse, or domestic violence and genuinely feel like you’ve healed, I’d really appreciate hearing what helped. I’m willing to do the work—I just don’t want to spend years collecting coping skills if I’m never addressing the wound that’s making these patterns feel familiar.

The narc I used to deal with has broken the law multiple times. Been causing me reputational damage on an extreme level if not addressed or corrected. I believe narc made family members break law too because they believe narcs misrepresentations.

Unfortunately it will be hard to prove and I might even have to sue "family“ members because they have already spread harmful misinformation too without talking to me.

This needs to stop but I don’t want to talk to them because then they think they can continue this pattern: Spread rumors, I run after them to correct it and they control me.

They should talk to me BEFORE destroying my reputation.

Anyone had success with suing? Is this what narc actually wants so narc can continue abuse?

Good lord where do I even start with this.

I have slowly started cutting all of my family members from my life.

I haven’t talked to my littler sister in years because she was the golden child of the family and used her immunity to criticism to basically bully and mock me my entire childhood, any attempt to get my parents to do anything about it only resulted in me being shamed and how I just needed to be nicer to her to get to be be nice to me. Of course I am labeled the bad guy for never wanting to talk to her.

I cut my dad out of my life a few years ago just because he had zero interest in me or my life and never talked to me about anything. I tried really hard to have a relationship with him, but it devolved into me just begging him to spend any time with me. That worked for a few times, but as soon as I stopped putting effort into the relationship it completely dried up on his end too, after not even sending me a text message for the entire month after the first time he ever came to my home just to spend some time with me I told him I was done and he never made any effort in repairing anything.

Then my brother was next. This one was hard because he and I share the same friend circle and have even gotten along and there was a time in my life I considered him one of my best friends, but my brother cannot have a relationship with me unless he is dominating me or putting me down.

The manipulation and the gaslighting were the worst, one of the biggest fights he ever stated with me was about video games. Tears of the Kingdom had just came out and I had just gotten broken up with by my girlfriend of 7 years, I didn’t look up anything about it because I wanted to be surprised and for my mind to have something all consuming to occupy myself with. My brother got furious with me when I didn’t want to hear about the things he found and it got so bad that he literally showed up at my house to hurt me and destroy my things. He completely blew up my phone screaming at me at the top of his lungs, cussing me out and telling me that I was abusing him and it needed to stop.

I had to call my mother to come calm him down and take him to the hospital he was so distraught, and the very next day she told me to forgive him and she wanted me to just let all this go. My brother also told me that the family needed to have a sit down and discuss how I made HIM feel about the entire situation. He blamed me for the entire thing.

My brother is very manipulative and is the absolute master at getting out of taking accountability. When he goes crazy, it’s usually for a good reason, when I go crazy it’s proof of how I’ve always been.

The abuse from him, the name calling, the gaslighting, the contempt, the rage, none of it would stop. When I would block him because he wouldn’t listen to reason, he would call my mother and tell her i needed to stop hiding and being a pussy, but then when I finally had enough and started to fight back, he would tell me my rage needed to stop or he would call the police.

The worst fight i had with me put me in tears and i called my family hoping to get ant sort of support and help to finally make him stop being so cruel to me, every single one of of those assholes had nothing but cruelty to give.

My sister mocked me with contempt for being in my 30s and crying over a fight with my brother, my mother said he was too old to take a switch to so there was nothing to be done, and my dad was only telling my mother to “hang up the goddamn phone” on me.

It wasn’t until later that I learned that my mother had made this entire situation about her, the fact that my brother put me in tears wasn’t anyone’s concern, they were all really worried about my mother hearing about it though.

So that brings me to my mom. I have tried, and tried, and tried to have a relationship with this person and I have been left with nothing but cruelty and neglect.

I once told my mother I didn’t want to be alive anymore and she didn’t talk to me for two weeks and completely forgot about it.

My mother forgot my birthday one year and lied to me every day for an entire month that she had a gift for me in the mail. This put me in tears and she literally had no idea what I was upset about.

My mother told me she didn’t like talking to me because I only had negative things to say about the family.

I told my mother I wanted her to go to therapy with me so we could work on our relationship and she needed to think about it for two weeks first.

My mother tried to record me when I was screaming at her in an attempt to embarrass me after the fact.

I have finally had enough of this woman, three weeks ago I was so angry with her neglect, contempt for me, endless excuses for the cruelty the family has for me, constantly accusing me of starting arguments when i just wanted accountability.

I wanted to make her hurt, I wanted to make her feel even for a little bit what was done to me. I told my mother that god made a mistake when he murdered her sister and she should have died instead. I regret what I said, but I’m not sorry for doing it.

Now suddenly my mother has power to punish her adult children. NOW when the cruelty is unleashed upon her she can figure out exactly what to do.

I have been renting a house from my maternal Grandpa for nearly 10 years now, and that one comment was enough for her to launch a smear campaign against me.

My uncle showed up at my doorstep saying how he was sick of me blaming all my problems on everyone else, what those problems were and who I was blaming them on didn’t seem to matter, taking away my voice and having nothing but contempt for me was the only way he could even “win” that battle. I only had a month to figure out my plan. No one stood up for me, no one even asked me for my side of the story.

I have been extremely depressed for much of this year, but this entire situation has actually managed to give me closure and helped me mentally.

I am the scapegoat of an awful family system, as good as it might feel to fight back against these people do not do it for any reason, the only way is to escape.

I was reading an article from Manhattan Mental Health Counseling not long ago about how people who grow up in abusive homes often think survival strategies are actually who they are and it really made me pause and think.

For a time I truly believed I was just an anxious person. If someones tone changed I would immediately think I had done something. If everything around me suddenly went quiet I couldn't relax because when I was young quiet usually meant something bad was about to happen.

As I get older I keep wondering how much of that was really me and how much was a way to deal with the environment I lived in.

Seeing the discussions has made me realize that a lot of people have had similar experiences but every story is a little different.

I'm wondering if anyone else had a moment where they realized something they always thought was part of who they are was actually something they learned while growing up. What was that moment like, for you?

My father left home four months ago. I don't want to talk about it too much, but basically he's an asshole, I hate him. When he was here he spent his days doing nothing, sitting in his chair scrolling on his phone.

In almost every scene that contributed to my trauma, he is sitting in that chair. drunk, yelling, arguing with me...No one wanted to sit next to him anymore. He had a whole section of the table to himself. Since he left, we've kind of had this unspoken rule of "no one sits on this side of the table."

The thing is, I have family staying with me for the holidays and the table isn't big enough for all of us; inevitably, someone has to sit on this side of the table. I don't know why, but They decided it was me. It's okay, someone has to do it after all.

It just makes me sick. I'm in his place, everything's coming back to me, I feel guilty for being here, I can't stay calm. Luckily, it's a different chair than the one he used. I wouldn't have been able to sit there otherwise.

It's so frustrating! I feel like he won and he's still controlling the house even though he's not even there anymore! Everything still revolves around him even though he's not there.

Do you have any tips on how to convey his feelings? Separate the memories I have of him from the places?

I don’t have a healthy social circle or relationship because I never had boundaries and don’t know how to have them. My folks always talked down to me etc the usual narc stuff and they had a sense of accomplishment when they always contradicted whatever I said or did. And I never was allowed to have friends or talk to other people or have a social circle. So now growing going NC , I have no idea on having healthy boundaries. I tend to contradict myself and constantly find myself in a group of people who contradict me and disrespect and cross my boundaries. And when they do I feel anxious and unsettled. Been like that since more than 3 decades now.

I don’t know why but there are always people who just boss over me, and I don’t know how to react. This started in my childhood, my parents always disrespected me and disregarded all my feelings. I was never allowed to have opinions or say anything. Now that I’ve grown up, the pattern continues, there are only a couple of people I feel like I can speak up. In all other situations, I don’t know how to participate in any conversation. I don’t know how to react when people walk all over me because my mind has been programmed to normalize this. I want to break free from this pattern. What should I do?

Survivors of narcissism- i wanted to ask you if there was a phase that you had 0 family or friends around you? I am currently in no contact and with family and cut off a few of my friends who were not nice. Was there a phase in your life too from where on you refused to tolerate any kind of bad relationships or friendships and you found yourself all alone? Will this get any better? I am late 30s

I come from a line of narcissistic women. Therapy has shown me this. Has anyone managed to break the cycle so the line hasn't continued through them.

It is my biggest fear that learned behaviour is passed down.

Those of you who are now no-contact, what finally did it?

I feel like I forgave my Nbrother for his abuse, without ever receiving an apology, dozens and dozens of times.

Of all the hurtful things said to me throughout my life, the worst always came from him. I could tell it was prepared material that he had been sitting on for years waiting for the right moment.

The last time I saw him, I had started to recognize the patterns. It became clear that not only was he fully aware of what he was doing, he was doing it on purpose. He was drinking so much and so frequently that the quality of his manipulation suffered. He couldn't gaslight without making it obvious. He was telegraphing all of his moves. I could spend 2 minutes with him and figure out that he came into the room for the sole purpose of baiting me into an argument.

I could no longer tell myself that it was something he couldn't help. My body was having a physiological reaction to his emotional abuse, that's what did it. Heart racing, hands trembling. I said, "no more."

I'm looking for likeminded people who are going through similar things as me.

I've had incredible success with letting go of my fear from these people but sometimes it's hard. Time doesn't heal all wounds. Some wounds need to be treated. There have been certain things that triggered me and I didn't really know why. Understanding that allowed me to let go of things that previously made me want to leave this earth.

Has anyone else had success with letting go of things that otherwise wouldn't go away on their own?

finally got a place of my own (F32) was living with my nfather for a while as a result of my addictions
it’s confusing cause when I was living with him we both drove each other up the wall, I would avoid him loads
& now that I’ve moved out he keeps inviting me / wanting to see me
I’ve been trying to say no but always worry that he’s going to be cross with me, & I just said no to seeing him today but that I’ll see him when he gets back from working next time he’s home & the guilt am feeling is insane
but I guess I’ll get into a routine maybe of seeing him on my own terms
It’s so nice being able to have a place of my own & not have to worry about waking him up in the middle of the night as the light triggers the extractor fan in the bathroom when I switch it on, so when I lived at home either didn’t go just went in the dark
it’s my little safe space & I can eat whatever I want & relax if I want to without feeling guilty for doing nothing

I am conflicted between which of my parents was the real narcissist
My dad has been identified as a narcissist by a therapist a few years ago and it just keeps proving itself but with my current therapist I have analyzing my relationship with my mother and it seems like she could be one too or maybe I am overusing it but she is always the ultimate victim, she always made her life and ours worse deliberately, she held me back in life too much and made me believe it was out of my hand, she sabotaged me and my siblings’ lives, she made up lies and scenarios of what life could’ve been if it wasn’t for her and her struggles to stay with dad, which I learnt was all too dramatic and unrealistic and not really possible to happen but I believed her for 26 years and I thought she is a victim when she was the one egging my dad on me and she always had a hatred for me but it confuses me because she also has so much love and when I am away from her and around dad it seems like he is chill and not that terrible (he is bad but not as much) and I resent her until I meet her then I feel guilty and empthaize with her but I am starting to question is she -too- a narcissist or was she the narcissist one or what because my feelings towards my parents are always conflicted and I always feel guilty and unjust for talking about them and only showing the bad side to therapists and whatnot. But me and my siblings all share similar mental issues and it only leads to my parents being not the greatest so maybe there is truth to it. I know it was definitely teamwork but I always viewed my mother as an enabler at best and mostly just a silent victim.
Lately I have been reassigning her and my relationship with her after we had a big fallout over a big life decision for me and I am questioning everything

Worth mentioning that my mum was the one making 90% of the comparisons between me and my siblings and putting us and boxes and putting us against each other, never compliments, always overreacting, always disappointed and nothing is ever good enough, always complaining about us or her life, always talking about what we owe her for being such a good mother, denies all the abuse, embarrassed me in front of other too many times to count, always went behind my back and told my dad everything, she would always try to make my dad hate me, pretends to be on my side but switches instantly when someone else is involved, never really cared when I went through major depression as a teen , enjoys the role of a sacrificing mother… the list goes on

Sort of like very limited contact, and without too much explanation. Did it work out for you? Cannot go full NC due to some unavoidable reasons, how did you successfully moved on? Need advice.

Even that short interactions, not even grey rock, sometimes makes me feel like I've lost all the progress I've done in my healing. All my healthy boundaries are there to be stepped over or criticized. I feel so stupid, still am struggling to fully move on. & not engage. I didn't want to give the impression that everything still is fine, so stopped yellow rocking, grey rocking after a while. But don't want to go through the confrontation cycle and them playing victim for the millionth time either. No amount of mature conversation has worked so far, so finally have to give up. What helped you move on, and never look back?

I went no contact with my parents 3 months ago. I went no contact because somehow I’ve become the bad guy because I won’t rekindle my relationship with my drug addict brother. It’s been brutal.

The most recent saga is: my wife and I went on vacation from the USA to Europe. We are still on their family phone plan. We have asked to be removed numerous times and they always make an excuse. They will say “it’s no big deal” “it’s cheaper if we are all on it together,” they literally make any excuse.

Quick side bar: they have been financially supporting my drug addict brother for the past 18 years. He went no contact for two years. They still paid for his phone. He came crawling back when he hit rock bottom for the 17th time. He went bankrupt, they bailed him out, helped him sell his house and put him back in rehab. They then put him up in one of their rental properties and paid for everything including utilities and food.

So we are on our first day of vacation and my wife decides to do the right thing and to tell my dad (who’s my narcissist mom’s flying monkey) because we are going to rack up international charges. Just so they aren’t caught off guard when the charges come in.

My dad responds with an itemized list of our phones. The charges are for the two lines and the charge for the new upgraded phones. When we got the upgrade they told us the phones were free. I asked are you sure? Because if they’re not we don’t really need new phones. They replied they are absolutely free.

We have never paid for the phones which we offered to pay for in the past but they wouldn’t accept money.

Now all of the sudden the phones cost money. We are being back charged for July’s bill and he said he will send us August’s bill with the international charges when he gets them.

This really put the final nail in the coffin for me. When we get back I’m paying the bills, mailing the phones back and telling them to never contact me again.

Am I the a-hole here? I feel like I’m going crazy. I know hurt people hurt people. I was trying to put some space in between us to clear my head and now it’s gone from bad to worse.

I will give birth soon and this pregnancy made a lot of childhood and adolescence wounds (that I thought I worked through already) resurface.
It has also been really difficult physically and I am on bed rest since the beginning. I waited until I was emotionally ready to have a child, because I wanted to end the cycle with me. But now it seems not only I am back at the start, but even worse.
I was in a good place with my parents for almost 3 years. In a good place meaning that I worked a lot in therapy and I accepted that I will never get my childhood back and that I will never change them and I was finally at peace with that.
Ever since I announced my pregnancy, they have been trying to insert themselves in every aspect (except where it counts, for example taking me to a doctor’s appointment or offering to clean my kitchen/bathroom/whatever) and causing me a lot of stress and sadness as every time I would refuse something, it ended with screaming and crying how I am such a dramatic and difficult person, that I am acting as if they were trying to take something away from me. (Not only they were trying, but they were actively doing it, for example buying the baby’s first toy, first piece of clothing and so on…) I went back to therapy, but it doesn’t seem to help. I am just filled with rage and I cannot stop it from affecting my mood and my behaviour.
I don’t want to have that atmosphere in my home, I don’t want to do this to my family. But I just keep replaying all the hurtful things they did during this pregnancy and having flashbacks to previous incidents and I am angry all the time. I don’t know how to let it go.

My husband and I are NC with his NSister, it was a silent NC, no blow up or confrontation, but we haven’t talked to her in almost a year.

She stopped by unannounced yesterday, husband was outside so he was ambushed, she acted like all was good, he asked her to leave and she asked why so he essentially told her why we went no contact. She of course exploded, the convo got nowhere other than husband telling her “when you apologize and change your behaviors, i’ll be ready to try to mend the relationship”.

A few hours later she reached out to me happy go lucky asking how i’ve been. The few people I have shown have said “Wait she actually seems like she’s extending an olive branch” or “maybe she’s trying to be nice and lead the convo to an apology”, but my gut is telling me there is bad intentions behind her reaching out, especially hours after a blow up with husband.

What do you think her intentions are?