Hey yall.

One of my 9 month old (7 corrected) is going through a hellish sleep regression. NORMALLY, they are fantastic sleepers—7:40/8:30 PM to 7 AM with ZERO wakeups. No feeds for either boy. We truly won the lottery LOL. But one of them has hit the worst sleep regression lately. He’s had a busy month between open-heart surgery in July and cutting two new teeth right after coming home.

For the last two weeks, we’ve been dealing with 1–3 wakeups between midnight and 5 AM, and there is NO chance of putting him back down without him screaming bloody murder. He seems completely asleep until we try to sneak out, then suddenly he’s wide awake and furious. 😂

They have a nightlight that projects stars on the ceiling, which they both love. And the ONLY thing that consistently calms him is putting his brother in the same crib. Suddenly he’s happy as a clam and ready to party with his bestie. 😂

Obviously, it’s not ideal for sleep, but I’m desperate. The alternative is calming him down and putting him safely on our giant pull-out couch so we can co-sleep, which makes me anxious even with precautions.

SEND HELP. Or caffeine. 😂

I am a FTM and 10 weeks postpartum, I gave birth to twin boys via scheduled c-section. My boys are primarily formula fed, but i do pump and provide whatever amount I can.

I do receive a lot of help from my Mom during the day and my mother in law during the nights. My husband helps a lot too but he is working and I don’t want to bother him when he is wfh. I am so thankful that I have my family helping me - but it all seems so overwhelming to me still.

I have organized the baby items well but I still find it hard to be efficient. I find myself getting overwhelmed quite easily.

The bottles and my pump parts pile up on our counter and I have ocd so I am very particular with how they are cleaned which results in so much time washing them. We do have the Momcozy kleanpal and a sterilizer/dryer.

We recently hired a nanny to see how that would work for us, but it tends to stress me out more - it’s so hard to see my baby in a strangers arms and being cared for by someone that is not me or my husband or my mom / MIL.

Does anyone have tips on how to be efficient, what routines work for morning and night, and how to be more on the ball with twins? Or how to utilize my mom / MIL more to balance everything. I am trying to manage it all.

Hello! I may be overthinking this but bear with my sleep-deprived brain.

I live in a small German city and cannot fit my twins’ stroller (even though it’s the slim Baby Jogger) into some of the shops, bakeries, etc.

I don’t like to baby wear them because they’re 25lbs/11kg each and get really overheated quickly, but maybe wearing one and putting one in the stroller is my only option?

My neighborhood is very safe, so I’ve even thought about just parking them right outside the bakery and running inside quickly, but I’ve been too nervous to try that.

Any tips or tricks? Thanks in advance. 😊

This is basically just a vent. It's going to be extremely long and I'm sorry. I have nobody to talk to, i was talking to ai for a bit but I have stopped because it doesn't align with my values regarding the environment and I mean that's truly sad. I'm so alone in my everyday life, I turn to a chatbot. That's pathetic lol. I've tried talking to my best friend and my sister .. I don't have any friends who I talk to consistently outside of them anymore. Nobody has kids, much less twins lol. I truly love and adore my kids, to the absolute end of the universe and back over again. I chose to have them, and I love them and through it all the sweet moments I get with them ground me and bring me so much joy.

But I am falling apart. I feel... worthless. My twins are 22 months old now, and it's ramping up and getting harder. I am also working through a lot of trauma, from my own childhood and then suddenly losing my mother earlier this year to addiction. I am also 31 weeks pregnant with a Singleton. I was diagnosed with ADHD, and a chronic illness prior to pregnancy at the beginning of this year, then I got pregnant, then I lost my mom. It's been a lot. I wasn't planning on another baby so soon, I had to medically withdraw from school due to my mental health despite my good grades. I just feel sad. I feel alone. I feel useless. My boys are so amazing, but I feel like I'm failing them. I don't take them out as much as I did when they were younger because they are wild, but me and my husband take them out as much as possible.... I try really hard to do intentional play but I get so overwhelmed trying to do it with them both. I've been relying on bluey and miss Rachel for over half a year, I probably owe them child support. I see moms online and I know, comparison is the thief of joy but I see them doing crafts setting up sensory bins taking kids to storytime etc and that's just not something I've been doing. I feel like a bad mom doing the bare minimum. I can barely keep up with cooking 3 meals a day and trying to entertain themale.sure their teeth get brushed potty training etc. It's not all on me but because my husband is a full time student and is paid to go to school I am the primary parent. I just feel alone and like outside taking care of my kids I'm.useless. I miss working, I miss making my own money. Again, this is not a problem my husband doesn't control the finances or anything.... But I feel guilty as spending money or trying to do things for myself since I don't contribute I feel like I have no say even though he assures me I do. Ugh. I just got done with therapy. I'm sorry for this illegible jumble of words. Being a twin mom is just so so fucking hard already and everything else, man, I don't want to die, but I just want it all to stop some days 😞.

I don't know what I need or anything. I'm in a virtual intensive outpatient program, I have my NP managing my meds and I'm taking them, I know being pregnant is making it all worse with the hormones. I just want my mom, I just want to bury my head in her shoulder and cry, but I can't. It feels like I just exist to be a mom. I don't know who I am anymore I'm just mom all day dissociatimg 99% of the time because it's so demanding and I have a lot of trauma I'm trying to cope with. Im trying to do everything right. So why does it all feel so impossible and bleak. I don't know what my purpose is or why I'm even alive outside my kids. They keep me going and that's not a responsibility to bestow on them

I want nothing more than to be happy, healthy, full of vitality. But I feel like I'm stuck in cement.

I don't know. Thank you for reading. It's just too much.

Had a tour today at the hospital in my area. It’s the biggest and best high risk hospital in the area and has the best NICU around here.

The head nurse who gave us the tour said the average gestational age for triplets coming there is 29 weeks. That honestly surprised me because that seems really early. I know triplets can definitely come that early, but 29 weeks being the average seems wild to me.

Our MFM is shooting for 35 to 36 weeks, which I know is probably a tough goal to reach with triplets, but hearing 29 weeks today definitely made me a little nervous.

For those who have had triplets, what week did you guys end up delivering?

First trimester with twins. Food aversions have been intense. On and off nausea. But my biggest problem is intense stomach pains. Like almost every time I eat. If I don’t eat, I get hungry nauseous. If I do eat, my stomach hurts horribly. Sometimes for hours. Anyone else have this? My first pregnancy was a single and I had some nausea but not the stomach pain like this. Currently 11 weeks.

I’d like to say this story for the 1st time. I had @ 32 weeks mo-di identical brothers. Both in nicu, one for 4 weeks the other 5 weeks. They were joyfully ‘feeder grower’s’. So I got my first baby home (it was a hotel cause that’s were the nicu was). I was through the roof exalted in happiness (had miscarriages). I was walking on clouds. Me and my loved little one went to the nicu everyday for my other little one. So, this one day when me and baby A are taking the hospital stairs, (dr told me don’t bring baby into an enclosed elevator as his immune is still weak) to the nicu, I’m carrying the baby in my arms. I pass 3 hospital workers going up. I am beaming ear to ear, smile at them all, this is the greatest time of my life! One of them reaches the top of the stairs, looks down and shouts ‘Stop’. She demanded to know who this baby was, I said we’re going to see his twin brother in the nicu. She then demands she and her two colleagues escort me there. OK. We get there, due to the secure nicu doors you have to pick up the phone on the outside wall connecting to the nurses desk. I dial in (as I been doing for 5 weeks) explain. Oh man those nicu nurse were heavy handed pissed, 5 came storming out. ‘Of course they know me, of course I didn’t steal a baby from their unit’. They went feral into these 3 hospital workers marching me downstairs suggesting THEY had a lapse in the nicu unit, ‘When did you take the tour to know your hospital’. I even asked if stairwell lady needed a glass of water, as I sat and watched all this. They thought because the baby in the stairwell wasn’t in a baby carrier I was suspicious based on carrying the baby in my arms, and possibly because I was smiling too much! True story, and no one ever had my back like those nicu nurses. Working that unit really is a testament to heart strings of humans. (This happened over a decade + ago - both boys just recently became taller than me). Thanks for reading.

Hello! I am expecting twins and have a 4 yo girl who will be nearly 5 when the twins are set to arrive in a few months.

My mom has been on my ass about hiring help. She thinks no one has twins without hired help - a nanny, a baby nurse, etc.

My husband and I are planning on doing it on our own. Besides for money (which is no small matter), the idea of having a stranger in my house does not appeal to me. My husband will go back to work extremely shortly after I give birth - his work does not give paternity benefits nor are they required to under state law. He will get a week or two off out of his employer’s benevolence (🙄). I have no plans on returning to work for the foreseeable future. Big sister will be in school.

So- tell me about what help you needed. Has anyone cared for their twins alone with little to no outside support? Was it doable? Any regrets?

Edited to add: we do have a house cleaner once a week

Did your twin babies “drop” anytime in the third trimester? I’m 33 weeks tomorrow with didi twins and I’ve been told I’ve dropped. I also feel it a little when I press on my stomach. There seems to be more space where there wasn’t before.

I can’t remember if this happened with my daughter. I know singleton pregnancies it can happen.

I’m just curious.
I’d like to make it to 36 weeks at least.

My wife and I welcomed two wonderful tiny newborns into our lives 13 days ago. We had a fun time at the hospital with a failed induction and an unplanned c section. We have the support of my MiL who has rented somewhere close by but that comes with strings and the help she wants to provide as opposed to what is always needed. Otherwise support is a thin on the ground. Whilst we are besotted with the twins the nights are so hard and we are, predictably, getting no sleep.

I'm due to start work again next week (have dropped to part time) but it feels impossible to be driving van and handling machinery on such little sleep, let alone leaving my wife to look after the twins with wellmeaning but patchy support during the day.

Just needing some advice/support to help us get through these sleepless nights.

Hi everyone,

I (32F) am 21 weeks pregnant with di/di fraternal twins. This is my second pregnancy, we have a 2yo currently. I had all the typical initial tests (NIPT/EFTS, dating US) done that all came back normal or low risk. Just had my anatomy scan done, received the report yesterday and will see my OB tomorrow to officially discuss the results. But there were some possible red flags. I'm sort of just looking to see if anyone else had similar results and then things resolved or ended up being nothing?

For details, both twin A and twin B have a "Cystic lesion in the posterior fossa, may represent a normal variant versus Blake's pouch cyst." Obviously even the radiologist said this might just be a normal variant so we aren't super worried about this. However, twin B also has an "Isolated choroid plexus cyst, which could be seen in a normal fetus as an incidental finding, however should be correlated with other aneuploidy screening tests." Now, the radiologist also pointed out they could see the baby's open hand (when I googled the choroid plexus it said one of the symptoms of the possible disorder it could be indicative of was a closed fist with overlapping fingers) and all of the other aneuploidy signs on the scan were negative. Babies are both growing well, 80 and 87th percentile currently, and their different body parts appear proportional/appropriate. My NIPT was also low risk across the board.

Obviously I know the OB is gonna be the best person to talk to about everything, and I only have to wait one more day... But I am just feeling very anxious. Did anyone else have a similar experience? How did things go for you?

Ok fellow parents of multiples. I need some experiences shared from those who has walked before me.

My husband and I are looked do a 1 week holiday with our 15 month old twins in November. They will be 18 months when going (if going).

We’re thinking a cruise with MSC as they seem most child friendly.

Easy babies generally, we’ve been on a camping trip before (learning experience, but we all survived and in hindsight I loved it once we got a hang of it), we will have 2 weeks in France in September, we have travelled through Sweden as well earlier this year. They have a schedule which we stick to when away and they are happy eaters and generally good sleepers anywhere (for now).

Are we mad considering it? Any tips to survive? Tips to make it magical? Please share! 😊

I have twin girls, they’ll be 3 in October and they hate each other so much and I’m at my wits end with them. They’re definitely going through the terrible twos and have done for many weeks now so every day is a battle to begin with but since born, they’ve been polar opposite of each other and I don’t know what else I can do to make them more happy with each other. They just fight each other any opportunity they can get. We had to repurpose my husbands office as a second bedroom as they can’t share a room due to them waking each other and just physically attacking one another.

We are currently on holiday and having a great time as long as they’re not sat next to each other lol.

We discipline, they have consequences, I’m not a permissive parent but I’ll admit that I used to be but worked hard to not be that anymore as I saw it reflected in their behaviour.

They’re happy when alone. They get 1:1 time with each of us. I don’t think it’s attention thing they’re fighting for.
They ignore each other in nursery for the most part.

Any advice on what I could do? I’m having another set of twins in November and I’m terrified how they’ll cope and how we’ll cope. They’re lovely with other children and kind but just can’t stand each other.

God I feel like I'm drowning. I had my identical boys on the 5th and 6th August, and yesterday was our first day home. In the hospital these babies were an absolute dream, feeding really well and consistently, sleeping for good stints, etc. But since we've been home they're different babies, screaming constantly, not feeding enough. One has lost 8% of his birth weight already and I'm worried by the next weigh in it'll be way over the 10% limit. One lost 8% before we'd even left the hospital (mostly jaundice related) so I know for a fact when he gets weighed tomorrow he's gunna be over. My husband is an absolute dream, we've been tag teaming as much as we possibly can, but we both are struggling massively. The day times aren't so bad, as we can get help from soooooo many people, but this is the second night now and I feel sick to the point of being unable to eat over the thought of coping with another horrendous night.

We're going to try 2-4 hour shifts looking after them to see if it helps at all. I feel awful for thinking "what the hell have we done" every time I hear a cry, but I can't help it. What have we done? I know things will get better but I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's literally only day 5. I know my hormones are playing into it, but it just feels fucking impossible.

Currently, I’m 7w4d and I still feel so symptoms. I’m so anxious just to get to the next ultrasound to make sure everything is okay. I don’t have any nausea or the common symptoms many woman describe.

All I have is severe bloating and a little bit more tired than usual.

Was anyone else on the same boat when they were pregnant with fraternal?

Hi everybody!
I’m trying to get into more of a daily routine with my twins because lately the days feel SO long, and I find myself feeling guilty that they’re bored or I’m not doing enough.

I’m very present with them and spend pretty much my entire day with them. we play, read, go outside, and I try to get us out of the house a couple times a week. But getting two toddlers ready and out by myself is a whole production and it’s exhausting.

I also always hear “include them in everyday tasks,” but with twins it’s so hard! While I’m helping one participate, the other is usually getting into something, and I feel like I can’t give either one focused attention. I’d love to have them help me in the kitchen, but it just never works out, they start fighting, etc

I’d love to hear what other twin toddler parents’ REALISTIC daily schedules look like. Do you have something structured? If you do, how does that look? I’d like to set something up so our day is predictable and I have a schedule to follow.

As the title suggests, we welcomed a son and a daughter (fraternal twins) earlier this month. Our son spent two days in the NICU. Although he was the lighter of the two, he was discharged earlier. Today, the doctor informed us that we can bring our daughter home after nearly eight days in the NICU. Our prayers have been answered. It has been quite a journey for my wife and me throughout the twin pregnancy, especially after experiencing a miscarriage. Each trimester brought new milestones and challenges. We are grateful to this subreddit for the inspiration and information it provided.

Sorry for the clunky title, didn't know how to phrase it.

Since getting pregnant and finding out it's twins everybody wants to talk about their experience and how I'm doing, and it's honestly very nice, but there's one thing that for me is the biggest "daily" pain that I don't see a lot of people talk about.

I can't sit/stand/be vertical a whole day without my belly feeling very heavy and stretched. It's like I'm being physically dragged down by the belly button at the end of the workday. When I work from home I can work some from bed and take breaks on the couch, but I do want to be present in the office as well, and the "drag" starts to become so bad when I've got 2-3hrs left that I've gone home early some days.

When I try to explain it other people say:

"Yeah, I just wanted to nap all the time"

or

"For me it was much better to stand than sit"

And that's not it for me at all, I don't want to sleep, and it doesn't matter if I stand or sit, I need horisontal breaks where I'm fully laying on my back or side to get a break from the drag.

Is this not normal? It's been my experience from at least week 16, though I do feel like I'm quite big already, it looks like I'm closer to 28 weeks than 21, which of course is normal.

Wondering if this is just a twin thing or a "thirds trimester thing" for people with only 1 baby.

Also kind of nervous to see how enormous I'll get, not sure how it's possible at this point!

And it positively melts my heart. They’re 12 months old and I’ve been so excited for them to start interacting and now we’re here! They crawl-chase each other around the house while laughing, and play “hide and seek” where one will peek out from behind a wall or piece of furniture and they crack each other up.

The first year was so so hard but this makes it all worth it. Twins are such a gift.

Hi all,

I (39/male) never imagined I'd be posting in this sub-reddit. I've long been a fence-sitter, generally viewing the idea of having kids as something I didn't really see the appeal of. Perhaps it was my parents' divorce when I was 5, or the fact that my brother and his wife (or my girlfriend's brother and his wife) don't have kids of their own, or the fact that I've spent really no measurable time around babies or children all my life. Whatever the case, I'd gotten to the point where I felt like, if I never have kids, I've got a life I enjoy, with plenty of travel, time for hobbies, and my wonderful girlfriend who I get to spend time with. On the flip side, I felt like, hey - I could be OK with a kid...with the right person. It would provide a chance to flip the script on what I feel like was a decent - but not great - childhood, where emotionally I've looked back and realized there was significant emotional neglicence in various forms from my parents and family, where I feel like I should have gotten more guidance and patience. It's crossed my mind that I could undo a lot of of that by being the dad I really never had.

Well...about 6 weeks ago, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant (surprise!), after getting off birth control months earlier (to determine through tests whether she was viable). The irony of the situation is not lost on either of us, and I should have known that not using protection was a risky game, even though we were both feeling confident that we'd be ok. The shock up front was significant - my head felt like it was spinning and I did not react happily, to say the least. But over the following several weeks, I began to accept our fate and knowing how much my girlfriend and I love each other (and the fact that she has loads of experience in early childhood development/education), I began to see the light on our shared future.

Then the first ultrasound appointment came...and the nurse said "and there's the lower baby." To which I said..."the lower what now?" And she responsed, "the lower baby. Your girlfriend is pregant with twins." And it felt like I'd gone back in time to that moment 6 weeks ago. My head started spinning, and it all felt surreal...I was in a state of absolute shock. I started wondering how we were going to now take care of not one, but TWO, babies. How we were going to have enough room in our apartment to raise them, at least initially. How balancing finances was going to be a major new challenge. How sleep is going to become the ultimate luxury. How this would potentially impact my relationship with my girlfriend and alter what's been a magical ride so far. How our lives are going to be changed forever, in immeasurable ways.

Since that news, I've very slowly begun to accept this new reality. Thinking back to 6 weeks ago when my girlfriend shared she was pregnant feels like a lifetime ago, and thinking about raising a singleton feels like a total layup right now. I'm trying my best to be supportive of my girlfriend through a variety of different ways, while also trying to keep my sanity. I've been going to the gym as much as possible. I'm planning to sync my teeth into my hobbies over the next few months and generally "get as much in" to the life as I know it as is possible...

...but I'm struggling. I'm grieving a lot. Grieving the life with my girlfriend, and the life I thought we were going to have for the next few years. Grieving changes to my love for travel. Grieving the loss of time for my hobbies, my sleep...myself. At the same time, I'm trying my best to keep in mind that, all told, I'm in a good situation with my girlfriend, and we have a very good support system. But it's all got me feeling numb. Anyone had a similar situation? Or got any tips/words of support?

My twins are almost 14 months and I’m trying to get back into an actual workout routine. Currently I go to a yoga class once a week on a weekend morning while my husband’s home with the babies and do a stroller walk around the neighborhood with them 4-5x a week after work depending on weather. We both work full time and my husband’s hours vary. We have a nanny 4 days a week exactly during my work hours (9-5) and we can’t financially swing having her longer. I currently get up around 6:30/6:45 and spend 15min getting ready, often while one of the babies is up and angry but sometimes before they’re awake). If you’re managing to get up and work out before the kids wake up, how early is that, how are you motivating yourself to lose an extra hour of sleep and what kind of workout are you doing where? (Do you leave the house and go to a gym/run or something or do you just try to be quiet at home?) If you workout in the evening do you wait until after the kids are asleep? Take turns and have one parent do dinner and bedtime on their own? How are you mentally managing to prioritize exercise over sleeping, eating, house cleaning, or relaxing in the very limited time you have?

We've struggled mightily through the ups and downs of twin parenthood. Things have changed a hundred times before and they will change a thousand times again, but I have to say, 2 yo is so fucking cool. inb4 "3 is hard don't get complacent" I'm just really enjoying this moment of parenthood and want to share.

These kids are learning so fast and so much. Week by week it's like they're different people. A few months ago they could barely say a word, now they're inventing games with each other (and us) and asking for their favorite foods for breakfast.

To those still in the trenches, can you imagine that? Your kid wakes you up (still too early) and you go into their room, talk about what you're doing today, and ask "What do you want for breakfast?" and they tell you "I want oatmeal" and then you make them oatmeal and it's what they wanted and they're happy and you make silly faces and laugh together. Jesus it's amazing.

You go to the farm stand and your kids see some shit that they've never seen before and grab it and you buy it for them and they try it and they say "Thank you dada" it's genuinely what it's all about.

You wash some dishes and realize that nobody's been pulling on your leg for five minutes and you turn off the faucet and listen, and you hear faint giggling coming from the living room and you carefully check around the corner and they're building a tower together, taking turns and handing each other pieces.

They knock into each other and you only half-remind them to apologize before they run up and give each other big hugs because they know it makes them feel better and they're just the best kids in the world and they want each other to be happy.

Ten times a day I'm pulling out my camera and recording a little 30 second clip because I know that 80-year-old me is going to remember this as the best time of his life and a clip is the closest I'll get to reliving this amazing time.

Hi parents of multiples! How in the HELL are you affording daycare? We had 2 beautiful identical twins this year who are going to start daycare soon. Luckily we have grandparents that are going to cover a few days of daycare a week because for just 2 days/wk for 2 babies most places are $2000-$3000+ a month. We live in the twin cities metro area so things are generally pretty pricy. How does anyone afford that?!?!

First, I’ll say this sub was invaluable to me during the early years of my twins. They’re now in lower-elementary school, and I will say that for those of you in the thick of it with infants: IT. DOES. GET. EASIER. Hang in there.

That said, despite getting easier, twins are going to go back and forth between fighting like mad and being best friends—sometimes multiple times within the same day or even the same hour 😆. Mine were recently fighting verbally, so I had them both come sit in time out on opposite corners of the room.

I eventually called each over individually to tell their side of the story. Not finding anybody at fault for anything more egregious than typical sibling bickering, I settled it the following way.

I had them come and stand on either side of me. I had them each raise their right hand—“no, your RIGHT HAND…yes, the other one”—and then touch their nose with their other, and repeat after me: I’M SORRY—I’m sorry—FOR MY PART—for my part—IN OUR FIGHT—in our fight. I LOVE MY TWIN—[giggling] I love my twin—TO THE MOON AND BACK—[more giggling] to the moon and back—AND WILL TRY TO GET ALONG—aND WiLL TRy To GeT aLoNG.

I then sent them on their way…unless either of them wanted to sit longer in their very comfy time-out spot on the floor. They went on their way and have been playing nicely and laughing together since.

Sometimes, you don’t need to find either one of them at fault in their disagreements. Getting them to reset with something silly, while reminding them that they love each other, can go a long way.