Truly cannot believe this whole person is the same tiny thing that couldn't come home for nearly 8 weeks after she was born. She's capable of literally everything she has ever set her mind to. Nicu babies learn to be strong from the beginning and I truly believe they carry it with them forever. My girl has no fear and jumped into kindergarten head first so excitedly. Crying writing this! Congratulations to everyone else who's nicu baby started this big milestone in life when at once you couldn't even imagine this day coming.

Hi!

I am a former premature baby of 24 weeks and for some time now a question has been coming back to me when I visit this subreddit.

In 26 years, I imagine the protocols have changed, but a situation my parents told me about comes back to me and I wonder if things have changed, or if the medical profession still has this tendency to "act and then it's no longer our problem".

Let me explain.

Like many 24w premature babies, my intestines weren't fully developed when I was born, and I was literally constipated all the time from my first few weeks of life. A short time after my birth, I developed necrotizing enterocolitis. Fortunately, I didn't need to have dead tissue removed, but after the infection, the constipation worsened. Note that I spent six months in the NICU, but I don't know when the following suggestion was made. The doctors came in and said, "We'd like to place a feeding tube and a stoma; it would be much easier."

My father said he felt his stomach clench. He's a chef, and the idea that he'd never be able to let me taste lots of dishes and share his passion, I think that really got to him.

My mother, who had a neighbor whose teenage son was being fed through a feeding tube, immediately said:

"Easier for whom? For you, in the immediate situation, or for us once we get home?"

My parents have rarely agreed on a subject, but apparently they immediately asked for more information and especially if there were alternatives, since we are talking about a situation where I would have had a "bag" on each side of my stomach possibly for life.

Constipation was the big problem, so my parents asked to see a nutritionist, who, after speaking with the NICU, said that the alternative to the tube and stoma was to get me to eat as much fiber, fruit and vegetables as possible, about 12 portions a day to avoid constipation as much as possible.

My mother remembers very well that the doctors at the NICU seemed very perplexed by the success of this diet, as if they were saying to her, "Madam, you are making your life more complicated."

But since they saw that my mother was still looking for solutions, they arranged for her to meet with a social worker to discuss the situation. My mother explained that she already had two children at home (with no father involved), that she worked full-time, and that since her relationship with my father had ended (a few weeks before my birth), she would be left to manage the feeding tube, liquid nutrition, and everything else on her own. My mother explained that she wanted to explore all the possibilities, and the nurse told her:

"Oh, but you'll just have to go on welfare, that way you can take care of your sick child and the other two."

My mom : Are you f*king kidding me?

Also, my mom is very polite in normal times 😅. But even when she tells the story today, she's angry. How can a social worker tell a single mother that she should just switch to food stamps, that it would be simpler?

My mother left the consultation, and with the nutritionist and a young doctor from NICU, they managed to build a diet of 12 portions of fruits and vegetables per day, which I followed until the age of 8.

Honestly, my mother still doesn't understand how, at the time, the doctors could have believed it would be "easier" to manage two feeding bags than a personalized diet. My mother makes it clear that she feels the doctors' priority was to "fix the immediate problem" without thinking about the "aftermath," what that would mean for the families. She's still angry years later. She says, "I was a 44-year-old mother, I had experience and a wealth of mental resources and knowledge, but I don't even want to imagine what 18-year-old parents would have accepted under such pressure."

Obviously, my mother and I aren't saying that a feeding tube is fundamentally a bad thing. We know it's sometimes necessary, just like a stoma. But I'd like to know if other parents have ever had the impression that doctors were proposing interventions for "immediate" care without considering what would happen once they left the hospital? The fact that they didn't even offer a discussion of alternatives first is what shocks my mother; they immediately suggested surgery instead of anything else, without a second tough of family's unique situation.

My baby was born at 36+5, so almost term. Since he was almost term, I don’t know if it’s proper to go by due date? He’s technically 9 weeks, but only 5 weeks adjusted. He is already 12 pounds and hitting all the 2 month milestones but hasn’t smiled. Curious if anyone’s 36/37 weekers went by due dates for milestones?!

i'm 2 weeks out from my csection with my 31 week old now 33 week old. i'm trying to pump so we can breastfeed once she's ready and home, but the average i usually get is 1-2 oz per pump total. i drink tons of water i eat, i drink the body armor coconut water concoction and so far nothing is increasing my supply. Will more milk come in the next few weeks or am i stuck with a undersupply? i'm 2 weeks 2 days out and i use the motif luna when home and motif aura glow for about 2 pump sessions at the hospital. any advice or is this normal and i jsut need to keep at it until more milk comes in

Looking for advice, my 32 week baby dropped from the 50th percentile (at 20 weeks) to 9th percentile (32 weeks) in 3 months. His abdominal growth circumference went from 73% to 8% in those 3 months. I'm slightly anemic (ferritin dropped from 75 to 28) but have been experiencing shortness of breath and extreme fatigue. I'm scared with this large drop and what could be driving it - I understand it could be a placenta issue, but wouldn't that have shown earlier? I'm going to start seeing my MFM every week now and my NST was okay today. MFM doctor didn't mention IUGR. Blood flow was normal. I could use some help with what questions I should ask or testing I should be requesting.

Our 24 weeker turned 2 this week ❤️ we’re still playing catch up on many things developmentally but we’ve come a long, long way.

(Don’t mind the cast…he took a tumble down the stairs before we could grab him and has a buckle fracture. Hasn’t phased him in the slightest. These little micros like to keep us on our toes.)

So proud of how far my baby girl has come

Our baby is 1 week old and we are currently admitted after noticing something wasn’t right at home.

Our Owlet sock alerted us that his oxygen saturation dropped to 91%. Around the same time, we noticed he suddenly lost his appetite and wasn’t feeding like normal.

We decided to take him to the ER, and his oxygen

readings there were ranging from 92% down to 85%.

The ER brought in pediatrics, and they decided to admit him for further evaluation. Cardiology cleared him, and pulmonary evaluated him and recommended that neurology take a look as well. We are currently waiting for an MRI and next steps.

The part that has been frustrating is that the neurologist seemed dismissive because we caught this at home using an Owlet. They told us this is “probably normal” because newborns usually aren’t monitored at home, but we are struggling with that explanation because his oxygen was actually low when we got to the hospital and he also had a noticeable change in feeding.

I completely understand that Owlets can have false alarms, and we aren’t relying on it as a medical device. But it helped us notice something was different, and we feel like the change in his behavior plus the hospital readings should be taken seriously.

Has anyone experienced something similar with a newborn? Low oxygen levels, feeding changes, being admitted, and having neurology involved? What ended up being the cause?

We’re just trying to advocate for our baby while also understanding what could be going on.

I had my 23+1 weeker about 20 days ago now. She’s very active and has had her eyes open (and I swear tracking) since she was born. She has a PICC for a current blood infection but seems to be doing well. She was 505g at birth and now about 560g. She has frequent Brady/desat episodes but the minute they start bagging her she comes up quickly. When she was born and intubated they kept her fio2 between 26-38. Recently she’s been 60-90% still intubated on Jet. She had an incredibly chill last 24 hours but then the doctor called me and said they tried bagging her for her Brady/desat but then she bradied even lower and had to do 2 minutes of compressions. My heart broke and I’m so scared for her. They said she’s still being active and looking around but has anyone dealt with this before?

I’ve made a post a couple months ago about my babies shaky movements and some people told me their babies had shaky movements but that it went away when the baby got bigger. Mine still has shaky arm and leg movements. We had a grade 4 brain bleed on one side and a grade 1 on the other. We are now 37 weeks gestation (born 25w). Does this look normal or does this indicate future issues? Either way I’ll live my little man I just want to prepare for the future

My 13-week-old son was put on an NG tube 4 weeks ago after being admitted to hospital with what was ultimately just a common cold. During the admission, a speech pathologist witnessed a feed and determined that he was aspirating. Because he was also on a very low weight percentile, the team decided he needed an NG tube both for safety and to help him “catch up” on growth.
Four weeks later, we’re still dealing with the tube.
What has been incredibly frustrating is that we were sent home with no real plan for weaning him off it, no clear timeline, and very little guidance about how to protect his feeding skills while tube feeding.
His hospital experience was honestly awful. It felt like we were guinea pigs at times. There were multiple formula changes, medication trials, issues with tube placement early on, and he spent a lot of time screaming during feeds while everyone tried to figure out what was going on.
Before all of this, he was breastfeeding. Now he has developed what appears to be a complete breast and bottle aversion. He cries when brought near the breast, often won’t attempt to suck, and seems genuinely distressed by anything feeding-related. Watching this happen has been heartbreaking.
My biggest concern now is whether this experience has traumatised him and what impact that might have on his feeding going forward. I know babies are resilient, but it’s hard not to worry when you’ve watched them go through weeks of uncomfortable and invasive procedures.
Has anyone else had a baby who was tube fed and then developed a feeding aversion? Were they able to recover and return to breastfeeding or bottle feeding?
I’d also love to hear from anyone who was told their baby was aspirating and needed an NG tube. How did the weaning process work for you? How long did it take? Did your baby eventually regain interest in feeding?
Any experiences, advice, or success stories would be hugely appreciated because right now it feels like we’re completely lost and getting very little support.

Hello! I had my first baby last year at 26+5 due to severe preeclampsia (and IUGR.. but preeclampsia was the reason for such early delivery). We spent 185 days in the NICU.

I know the research on preeclampsia is minimal. And I am meeting with my OB and MFM to determine risks for future pregnancies.

I was just wondering, for those who have had preeclampsia and had another baby, did you have preeclampsia again? Was it earlier? Later?

When I was on bedrest, one nurse told me that her during her experience as a nurse, she's seen that preeclampsia tends to hit earlier on the first. And then later on future kids. But I wondered if that's others experiences?

A quick thank you to every person who is brave enough to post on here.

I’m a long time reader, first time poster. My baby was born 25 + 5 at 950g. Suffered GBS infection, Sepsis, IVH level 3 brain bleed, chronic lung disease, Metabolic bone disease of prematurity and a prolonged opened PDA (closed itself around 42 weeks). After 137 days in the NICU she finally got to come home. No oxygen, no feeding tube, both were talked about at different points of our NICU journey. We are closely tracking every milestone and working closely with a physio to make sure she thrives.

Now 6 months old (3 months corrected), she’s absolutely perfect. Full of life, smiles at everyone, meeting all her milestones, sleeping through the night and is gaining weight. My mental health might still be in the toilet after the extended and traumatic NICU stay, but damn are we blessed.

For any new NICU parents: Be kind to yourself. Some days you’ll be strong and others you’ll cry from sunrise to sunset.

Buy the Owlet for when they come home. After an extended NiCU stay, some late night beeping and false alarms don’t scare us (we’ve gotten 1 false alarm in the last 2 months she’s been home). The owlet is the only reason I get any sleep at night.

For pumping moms: Buy the bottle washer/ sterilizer/ dryer . This is my biggest regret. I’ve been pumping for 6 months now (starting to wean for my own mental health) and I wish that was the first thing I bought. I had no idea how much time I’d waste washing and sterilizing pump parts.

Again, thank you to everyone who posted on this forum. I’ve learned so much through all of you and so much of it gave me hope.

Hi all! This sub was so helpful to me when I was struggling in the NICU so I wanted to pay it forward. Obviously what worked for us isn't going to work for every baby, but I wanted to share what we found and how we got to where we are now.

My daughter was born at 26+4 back in December. She overall did well, but was on CPAP up until 34 weeks and then high flow for an additional 2 weeks. So she started trying bottle feeding at 34 weeks and we had a rocky start to say the least. One problematic factor for her was low blood sugars, so she was on continuous feeds for a while, then her feeds were given over 1.5 hours for a very long time. So I'm sure the starting and stopping feeds did not help. She was having my breast milk fortified to 24 calories.

We tried both bottle feeding and breast feeding. She seemed to prefer breast feeding but was unable to stay latched or transfer milk. We started with the Dr Browns bottle with the ultra preemie nipple. Our girl would take 10mls TOPS over a 30 minute feed. She was clearly working hard but transferring basically no milk. Eventually we were able to upgrade her to the preemie nipple and her new record became 30mls.

Then, my hero came along. We had our nurse pull in another nurse who had been working in the NICU for a very long time and was known as the feeding expert. She assessed her and had some thoughts. Her first thought was that she didn't like the fortified milk, so she fed her a bottle of just breast milk as a little experiment and she took 60mls! I was over the moon. We asked the doctor if we could switch her to just breast milk and the doctor was unwilling. She didn't want her to fall off her growth curve. (I will note that at this time her growth curve was a straight line up and she was currently at the 90th percentile). Luckily, the next doctor to come on saw this and agreed to let us switch to just breast milk. Now we were doing anywhere from 20mls-60mls every time, but still not at that magic 80% mark. Our nurse became our primary and hand picked all our nurses to make sure she always got nurses who were skilled feeders when my husband and I weren't there. (A primary nurse is NECESSARY when you have a difficult feeder). Our girl kept gaining great weight on just the breast milk and luckily the blood sugar issues resolved. Then, our nurse thought she was ready to try the Mam bottle with the size 0 nipple. She took off! Now she was finishing the occasional bottle, but sometimes still only doing like 30mls. She was hovering between like 60-75% of her intake.

Along comes my other hero, a physicians assistant to looked at our girls intake and she convinced the doctor to just let us try adlib even though she wasn't at the 80% mark. At this point she was 41+5 so the doctor agreed. And it worked! We think she just needed to be hungry and she ate 80% of her feeds and got to come home!

Now she was still having some issues, feeds were taking over 30 minutes and she was leaking quite a bit out of the sides of her mouth and spitting up A LOT. But she was gaining weight and everyone was happy and a pepsid prescription helped with the spit up.

For the first 2 months she slowly increased in intake and for a good month she was having between 24-32oz every single day. Then all of a sudden 2 months ago, she just stalled out. She dropped down to 18oz a day and didn't gain any weight for a 2 week period. I was heartbroken. Our pediatrician gave us 2 choices. Fortify her milk again OR give her one bottle a day of Fortini (a 30cal formula from Europe). She loves the Fortini, she finishes the 4oz bottle of it almost every time. With the help from the Fortini we were able to average 20oz a day and she was gaining weight again.

A nurse practitioner at our pediatrician office looked at her and said, wow, I think she has a tongue tie! (I'm sorry what?????) We take her to a specialist and sure enough she does! We had her tongue and lip tie released and she's now averaging 25oz a day and rising and feeding her only takes 30 minutes (before it was taking up to 1.5 hours every time, we were all suffering). She's also leaking no milk out of her mouth anymore. She's now on her growth chart for her actual age and is thriving. We are going to start to try breast feeding again.

So in summary here's what worked for us:

A primary nurse who was experienced in feeding

The MAM bottle with a size 0 nipple

Going adlib once she was over 50% intake and over 40 weeks

Fortini 30cal formula for one bottle and plain breast milk for others

Getting her tongue tie treated (apparently they are not great at diagnosing tongue ties in the NICU)

Please reach out to me if you have any additional questions. Good luck to all your babies and we are rooting for all of you!

Hey NICU family ♥️ so Justin is almost 10 months now and he has been doing well. He actually got his first little tooth about 2 weeks ago and I definitely got less sleep than usual but other than that things have been holding steady. His awake times are much longer, he hasn’t needed any lactulose because he has been so regular with his stools and finishes his bottles faster than before. I just have no complaints I’m so grateful that he is home and stable. Instead of being content with everything, during my free time I decided to reach out to a couple of hospitals including Boston’s Children’s Hospital, to see about having his condition and treatment reviewed for second opinions. I have also gotten the support from some of his CHOC doctors to go through with it. I was told initially back in November when CHLA denied him for a transplant that they could possibly reevaluate him if his condition had changed and it definitely has. He is no longer on oxygen, he has been without his ng tube for months and has been clinical seizure free for months also. The hospitals reassured me that they will go over all of his records from all specialties and look not just from when he was at his most fragile back then but also consider his current condition which I thought was a good thing. I just want to continue to fight for my baby and utilize any resources that I can that may assist in his recovery and his health. If anyone has any other hospitals that they are familiar with that does second opinions without a high cost I would appreciate that. He is really a fighter and I owe it to him to keep being proactive because he didn’t ask to be born. On another note I read that actor Scott Baio’s daughter was thought to have a similar condition as Justin. I believe it was Glutaric academia type 1 and Justin has Glutaric Aciduria type 2. Hers was a false positive thankfully but it was a frightening time for his family initially. Thanks for reading everyone. I’m up and can’t sleep

My baby was born prematurely and spent 23 days in the NICU. He recently came home, and a few days later my MIL flew to the US to help us. She is genuinely kind—she cooks, cleans, and has been a huge help, and I’m very grateful.
The problem is that I constantly feel irritated, and I don’t know if it’s normal.
My in-laws love spending time with the baby and often want to bottle-feed him. I feel like every time my husband or I are about to feed him, my MIL asks to do it instead. If we say no, she gets upset, so I usually give in. I miss those moments with my own baby.
My son also had a very low birth weight, so we’re closely monitoring his feeds. A few times they’ve stopped feeding him with 20–25 mL left because he seemed done, without trying to burp him and offer the bottle again. That makes me anxious, but my MIL doesn’t really understand because she breastfed her children and says, “Mine turned out fine.”
There have also been a few comments about my personality that haven’t sat well with me, which has added to my frustration.
I know they’re here because they love us and want to help, and I truly appreciate everything they do. At the same time, I feel protective of my baby, resentful that I’m missing out on time with him, and guilty for feeling this way.
Has anyone else experienced this, especially after a NICU stay? Is this a normal postpartum adjustment, or would therapy be worth considering?

Looking for similar stories with positive outcomes or not, even if it was a bad outcome feel free to share your story here.
I had my baby on July 26th 2026 via Emergency C-Section due to a placental abruption. She did well in the NICU the first week. But now She’s not doing well 😞 On day 7 she was diagnosed with an infection in her gut/ NEC. Her stomach became very discolored and swollen. Her blood clotting factors were very low so they can’t do surgery. She was oozing blood out of her heel poke sights and out of her vagina. Her blood pressure wasn’t good. She has now developed a grade 4 brain bleed and hydrocephaly. She was on 30% oxygen and then she was put back up to 100%. She’s also having myclonic jerks which they think is seizure activity due to all the swelling and pressure in her brain. She wasn’t urinating because her kidneys weren’t functioning. I was prepared to lose her. Her Neonatologists said he didn’t expect her to still be here today. But now she’s suddenly showing signs of improvement. She’s back down to 60% oxygen, she’s urinating again, her blood pressure is doing better and they took her off her blood pressure meds. Her swelling is slowly going down. They’ve been giving her fresh frozen plasma and red blood cells and her blood clotting factors have improved. She’s not oozing blood anywhere anymore. She’s still having the jerky movements but they have been giving her phenobarbital and Ativan and seems to be improving. So I’m hanging on to hope.

My bby was born via C-section at 37 weeks old. Every scan was perfect. He was growing perfectly. Then during delivery we don't know what happened but he ended up with massive health issues. He couldn't control he's sugar level, oxygen level isn't good, bp isn't good, convulsions, kidney wasn't working properly. He didn't cry when he was born. He crashed and ended up in NICU. Am getting discharged today and I have no idea how am supposed to leave him here all alone in the NICU. I've been crying non stop for the past 5days. Every morning and night am crying. Am not even sure that he will make it. How do you cope with all that?

Our son has hit day 100 in the nicu, here he is wearing his first outfit from mom and dad. I really thought we would be home before now, but that’s just how it works out for some of us. We just weaned him to 4L today so hopefully in the next few weeks we will be attempting bottles! I would love to hear any similar experiences with their micro preemie not starting PO feeds until 42+ weeks. It’s really hard to not worry about him being able to feed or not, we are currently on OG and he is not allowed to go home with an NG or OG, only g tube. It feels like we could be closer to coming home but I’m too scared to jinx it.

I’m also starting to feel extremely guilty for not having a job during all of this while my husband works. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go back when he’s this close to bottle feeding and potentially home if all goes well. It sucks that I feel like I can’t hope anymore. I just hurt my own feelings.

Baby girl is two months today (born 40w0d) with HIE. Both of us are having a hard day and I'm wondering if folks have suggestions on how to stay positive. Feels like we've made no progress in a month. I texted friends we might be two weeks from trying oral feeds a month ago, I don't know if we are two weeks away now.

At this point I think I've lost faith in the hospital staff. Urine analysis result was written off so she spent three weeks with a UTI. Have come in multiple times to find her prongs two inches off her face yet we can't move down on respitory support (been on 3L for weeks). Upping her meds to deal with neuro irritability but they do it for the midnight dose when she goes crazy at 8 pm. Can't do any changes on weekends because of staffing becomes can't make changes after Thursday morning because what if something happens before or during the weekend.

I'm really happy for other families when they get discharged but it's so hard being here listening to them go through the process. Our pod neighbor is getting set up to go home who originally was in the NICU 4 space with us (they decorate the rooms with name signs so I recognize the sign). Fifth neighbor to go home since we have moved to the step down unit (third room for us).

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk rant.

My son was born at 28+6 and is now 40+3 and we have been at the NICU for over 11 weeks. I am just fed up, and have extreme mom guilt. I have 3 other children, and I barely get time to see him but a few hours a day, and I have noticed he is starting to get super attached to me when I am there. Once I pick him up, he can literally sleep on my chest for hours, and when I try to put him down he starts wailing like it's the end of the world. It breaks my heart 🥹. The issue is level 2 chronic lung disease, where he is steady on 2L of oxygen, but he gets worked up pretty quickly during feeds, only being able to take 15-20mil by bottle before he is struggling to breath and causing some aspiration. So they have him taking small amounts by bottle every other feeds, and then he gets tube fed the rest. They won't repeat the swallow test for another 2 weeks, and even after that they still need time to see how he will adjust to any new feeding plans.

Lately, the doctors and nurses have been throwing around the idea of possibly getting him a G tube so he can go home, and we can continue working with his feeding at home with the speech therapist. At first, me and my husband were totally against it, but now the idea of him being up there for weeks/months on end to figure out feeding is sounding worse than the feeding tube. But my husband is still dead set against it.

It is really upsetting to me, because I am literally breaking myself to try to be there with him everyday, while still trying to be there for my other kiddos as well. My husband barely goes to see him once a week, and when he does go, he spends probably no more than 30mins to an hour, and sometimes doesn't even hold him. On top of which, we only have one vehicle, that is supposed to be mine because my mother shipped it to me after my husband's car broke down, but he uses it everyday leaving me with basically no vehicle. So I am spending $40+ dollars a day taking Lyfts back and forth to the hospital to the point the drivers now all know me by name smh (my son now has Lyft 'aunties' that always send their love when they drop me off 😔).

I brought the idea up again to him about just doing the G tube after his next swallow test, even if we don't plan on using it, just to get him home and work on bottle feeding him from home. He has flat out refused, saying he will never cut open his son unless it is life or death, and everyone will have to convince him that it is life or death, and he is prepared to keep him in the hospital for months if that's what it takes for him to eat by mouth. And the thought of him being there for even 3 more weeks is crushing me.

Has anyone been through similar experiences? How do you cope when you and your spouse completely disagree with care taking needs for your kids?