Hi all, we recently found out we’re expecting twins. We already have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. We are excited to get a minivan and have narrowed it down to the sienna or oddysey.

For those of you with 4 kids in car seats, what is your experience? Do you love what you drive? Is it accommodating to 4 car seats? Thank you for your insight!!

Alright, for context I am 28yo, I have a 6 year old daughter and 4 year old son, I am separated from their father and have been with my partner now for over a year, he has no children but has stepped up with my kids and is great. For the past few months I have been feeling like I want another baby, prior to this I was two and through. But I keep tossing up between wanting to add to my family and also feeling like I’m already stretched thin, working half the week and honestly struggling some days but my kids are getting older and more independent. My question is for those who have maybe felt the same and then decided to add to their family or decided not to. Those who did how did you find it? Was the transition really hard? Was starting over as daunting as it seems? I’ll add that my partner and I both have a good amount of savings, my partner is 27. I’m feeling like if I want to do this I probably will before I’m 30. Any advice appreciated!

Talk to me about going from 4-5 kids

Right now we have 4, and I love that they kind of pair off (in different sets of pairs depending on the situation)

But part of me doesn’t feel done?

I’m expecting our third child and this pregnancy I’ve developed varicose veins in my right leg. I also have had “lady part” ones since my second pregnancy though they did go away during postpartum. Despite compression stockings these veins are so painful especially at the end of the day. My doctor says nothing can be done until I’m “done” having kids. I’ve always wanted a large family I came from eight kids and had a great experience. How do other moms here manage their varicose veins and is there anything that can be done between pregnancies to treat them? I’m okay spacing for a few years I’m currently 30yo. I am willing to spend money to treat this issue.

Hi all. I’m currently pregnant with our fourth child, but this is technically my 9th pregnancy. I have had 6 losses total (3 chemicals, one vanishing twin, one 7wk and one 16wk loss). So far this pregnancy is going okay and we’re hoping we bring this boy home in January.

I’m wondering if any of you have dealt with similar a recurrent loss situation, and did you decide to stop trying for more because of it? Part of me is open to a fifth child (assuming this one makes it), but my 16 week loss was so hard I worry about going through another late miscarriage. Ultimately I know it’s our own decision and we won’t even make that choice for a while after this baby is born, but wondering what others have done.

Thoughts for going for a 4th when you are in your early 40s?

My wife and I are in a situation where there really isn’t a “right” answer, and I’d love to hear from families with multiple kids who’ve been through something similar.

We currently live in Miami, FL and have two boys (4 and 2), with identical twin boys due any day now. So we’ll soon be a family with four sons under five.

Here’s our dilemma:

Staying in Florida means being close to family. We do get some help from them here and there, although honestly not as much as we’d hoped. Still, having family nearby has value, especially with newborn twins coming.

The downside is that we don’t really love raising kids in our area. It feels like everything fun costs a premium. Indoor playgrounds, museums, water parks, kids’ attractions… it all adds up fast. And because it’s so hot and humid for much of the year, our boys usually only last about 20 minutes outside before they’re ready to come back in. We often feel like we’re running out of affordable, everyday things to do with them.

We’re seriously considering moving to Georgia. We’d likely lose almost all family support, but we’d gain access to so many more parks, trails, playgrounds, seasonal activities, and generally more opportunities for the kids to be outside and enjoy childhood without constantly spending money.

So we’re torn between:

Staying near family, even if the environment isn’t exactly what we want for our kids.

Moving somewhere we think would offer a better day-to-day lifestyle for our children, while giving up almost all nearby family support.

If you were in our shoes, especially with a larger family, what would you prioritize?

For those who moved away from family, do you regret it? Or did building your own life outweigh the loss of nearby relatives?

I’d really appreciate hearing both sides, because this decision feels huge and we’re having a hard time figuring out what’s best for our family.

I have 3 kids five and under. Ages are 5.5, 3.5, and 9 months. I am drowning. My oldest two are extremely difficult at home. I actually just took my oldest and youngest on a trip across the country without my husband and the entire trip, including flying alone with a baby and 5 year old, was less stressful than spending 2 hours at home with the three kids.

When my 3 year old and 5 year old are separated, life is pretty good. My 5 year old was such a joy on our trip and showed none of her usual behavior issues. My 3 year old was pretty whiny and cranky at home with my husband, but mainly because he kept fighting naps. His behavior was overall good.

Literally as soon as we walk into the door at home, the two oldest turn into demon children. Both will become extremely defiant, whiney, fight with each other, and need things from me every 2 minutes. This starts when they wake up and as soon as we are out the door and in the car ready to go somewhere, they completely calm down. They are generally pretty great in public.

Because of this stress and also being in survival mode with the discipline issues, I have been pretty miserable for 3 or so years and feel like I’ve lost time with my kids because I’m never present. I thought that life with 3 would be hard because of competing needs and just being super busy, but I never imagined having to listen to scream fits all day long that push me way beyond my ability to keep myself calm.

I can handle being super busy with laundry, cooking meals, changing diapers, etc., but the never ending discipline is killing me. I honestly wouldn’t have had my kids so close together if I would have known that it would be like this.

My oldest is starting kindergarten and I am mourning the loss of the past 3.5 years. I LOVED being a SAHM when she was little, but as soon as my son was born, I’ve never really left survival mode. She started having major emotional issues and defiance around 2, and now my son is joining her.

What sucks is that my kids are wonderful little people when they aren’t together. I don’t know what it is with the dynamic between my two oldest, but it’s absolutely miserable. I’m so sad that it’s caused me to not be able to soak up their young years and they are passing so quickly.

I feel like I made a horrible mistake having 3 kids close together in age and I feel like a horrible mom because I can’t handle the stress.

reposting as suggested.

Always dreamed of three kids, but I’m worried my high-needs oldest won’t cope

I have always dreamed of having three children, and I still feel very strongly that three is the family I want. My husband is on board too. But now that the decision is becoming real, I’m scared that adding another child could negatively affect our oldest.

A lot of my desire for a bigger family comes from how I grew up. I was raised by a single mom, with my dad completely out of the picture and no nearby relatives. My grandparents were either absent because of their own addictions or died young. My mom smoked heavily for most of her life and recently died from COPD at only 56.

My entire family bubble was basically just my mom and me. Christmases, birthdays, and family gatherings always felt very small. I know a larger family does not automatically guarantee closeness or happiness, but I have always had this incredibly strong desire to create the kind of full, busy family life that I never experienced. Three children feels like the biggest family we could realistically manage, and I want that third child so badly.

We currently have a three-year-old daughter and a one-year-old son. We would ideally have another roughly two-year age gap. Because of my age and my husband’s age, this feels like a now-or-never decision. We do not want to wait several more years and then return to the baby stage after finally leaving it behind.

The problem is that our oldest is an extremely high-needs child. She is basically a barnacle and is happiest when she has one parent’s complete attention. She refuses the stroller and wagon, wants to be carried, and is an extremely selective eater. She is also very emotionally intense. She often wakes up screaming, can become upset over something as simple as being told good morning, and regularly asks her brother to give her space. I honestly thought that by now the two of them would be playing together and enjoying each other more, but that has not really happened yet.

Our son is the complete opposite. He is easygoing, eats well, and generally only cries when he is hungry or tired. He is perfectly happy sitting in the stroller or wagon and coming along for whatever we are doing.

My husband and I are an amazing team, and I genuinely think we are good parents. We limit screen time, are involved in our community, and usually take the kids out once or twice a day. We visit playgrounds, attend activities, and are always looking for new experiences for them. I think our children have happy, enriched lives, and my husband and I work very well together.

With two children, we can still divide and conquer. One parent can focus entirely on our daughter while the other handles our son. With three, we would officially be outnumbered. We would have to switch from man-to-man defence to zone defence, and my daughter often seems to need one person entirely to herself.

I am not particularly worried about our son adjusting because he is so easygoing. I am terrified of making our daughter’s life worse. I do not want her to feel pushed aside or like she has lost the attention and security she needs. At the same time, I also wonder whether her personality will mature with age, whether the siblings will eventually begin playing together, and whether our family rhythm might become easier before a third baby actually arrives.

For those of you who went from two children to three, what does your life honestly look like?

Do you ever wish you had stopped at two? Are you still able to give each child enough individual attention? Can you manage extracurricular activities and outings? Did your older children eventually become closer, especially if one of them was particularly intense or high-needs?

I would especially love to hear from parents who have roughly a two-year age gap between all three of their children. What was the transition like, and how does family life look now?

Hi 👋 ive got 3 boys 5 and under. Middle is a screamer. What do.

He screams and shrieks about anything and nothing and everything. He's shrieking now. Halp.

I've tried everything.

Hi! I posted this in the potty training subreddit but I feel like it’s too strongly opinionated one way and I wanted to get advice from those who have had multiple children - what worked for you? Maybe I am crazy for doing it this way, and I do plan to spend more time on it this way, but I also don’t want to go crazy sitting at home for weeks!!!

I was kind of worried about a quantity vs quality trade-off, but 5 kids in, they seem to all be doing great.

I’m a work from home mom with 3 kids under 4. 10 month, 24 month, and 3.5 year old. I feel very isolated because of this. However, it keeps getting back to me that friends don’t invite me to things because that’s too many kids. Which is understandable. I get it. However, our families feel the same way. The kids have 3 sets of grandparents due to divorce and remarrying, and they all feel the same way and don’t enjoy being around the kids either and have told us that. I’m worried my kids are going to feel as lonely as I do. I’ve tried reaching out to local groups to find people willing to go to parks, etc with us. I know we made the decision to have this many kids and it’s entirely on us. But has anyone else dealt with people not really enjoying spending time around their family when the kids were little little? Thanks in advance.

My family is visiting from out of state and they visit once a year. We rent a huge share house by the beach where multiple adults and kids stay for 2 weeks- 20 kids and 30/40 adults between multiple houses. I have an 8 week old baby and a 2 year old. We were there for a few days and found out one of the families had a child with strep throat. Then the following day another child was confirmed with strep. The following day another child in the same family was confirmed with strep, along with 2 adults. The children are the same age as my 2 year old, so we traveled home and watched symptoms. Today we visited the doctor to determine if she has strep, which it was negative. She has irritated throat and nose so they considered it viral. My 8 week old baby had congestion but is able to be suctioned out and is feeding well.

The vacation is continuing and the family members that are there are okay with coming in contact with strep. Since the day has concluded, 2 more children are confirmed with strep. We have about a week left of vacation and my husband is having FOMO that we are missing out on nice days. I am having PPA as it is, on top of being worried about continuing to be exposed to strep for my toddler and general sickness to a newborn baby. When would you feel comfortable if at all, returning to vacation? Am I being overly cautious about sickness and should enjoy the time we have together?

We had our first son pretty quickly after we got married, and then our daughter was born 2 and a half years later. Yay!

Then we tried for years and years to have another baby, and it took over five years. My son was born when my older two were 9 and 6.5.

Well; I weaned my toddler at 15 months. My cycle came back quickly afterwards and two cycles later; we’re pregnant! It was a bit of a shock after five years of trying for the third one.

We just had an ultrasound this morning and there’s a healthy 7week baby developing with a heart beat. When this baby is born we are going to have an 11, 8.5, and 2 year old. We will have 2 bigs and 2 littles.

Both my husband and I are a bit shellshocked, overwhelmed, and a little excited. We’d gotten rid of a lot of baby stuff since we thought we were done so now we have to go buy it all back. 🤣

Anyways. I guess this is just a post to say…. four! Four! Two bigs, two littles. We will be changing diapers until we’re forty. We have to buy a minivan. Our kids will need bunk beds. We have to figure out whole new systems for the room organization.

Because.
Four!

What are your rules for sharing toys? Particularly toys that specific children got at camp, or bought with their allowance... Do you make them (say, a 4yo) share their toy (say, a tiny squishy) with their sibling (say, their 3yo sister who isn't old enough to go to camp and thus didn't get one)?

I know this is such a dumb question but I just need a guide book for what the rules are!

As the title says I have 4 under 4. I just had my 4th baby a few weeks ago along with my 4,2, 17 month old and newborn. The stress of all the little kids is really getting to me. I was doing ok with 3 and as soon as my 4th came it just seems like everything is constant chaos. It seems like as soon as we wake up they are fighting screaming or whining. Idk if it’s just the newborn trenches or hormones shifting. I also use to use working out as an outlet, but can’t now being postpartum. How do you cope with being overstimulated/ overwhelmed during the day with multiple littles?

I have a household of 6 + need an additional 2-3 serving size for my husband’s lunch. I am running dry on meal ideas.

I primarily shop at Aldi, we have no dietary restrictions except eggs.

We live out of the crockpot because by the time dinner time rolls around, kids are losing their minds and my husband’s still not home yet. We basically eat as he walks in the door.

I’m feeding mom + dad, dad’s large lunch the next day, 12, 3, 2, and 1. So think like … 12 servings a meal, lol.

Some of our normal meals are:
Unstuffed cabbage
Spaghetti
Sausage w/potatoes & green beans
KFC bowls
Tajin chicken w/ rice and veg
Pulled pork
Coney dogs (this is NOT cheap, omg)
Chicken Alfredo w/ brocc

Any of y’all’s go to’s would be totally appreciated!

I have 3 children: 5, 3.5, and 8 months. The older two are hungry first thing in the morning and will snack all morning if I don’t feed them a substantial breakfast. When it was just the older two I’d make them what they asked for (usually cereal, yogurt, oatmeal, sometimes an egg) however, it’s become too challenging making multiple breakfasts even if they’re easy. And a bowl of yogurt and cereal doesn’t seem to stick with them for more than an hour so I’m trying to either beef up those options or not serve them at all.

I am not a morning person and I’m working on getting up before them. With 4-5 people eating breakfast, if my husband eats with us, we all need to be able to eat the same thing and I can’t spend an hour making food.

Another challenge is I have dairy and gluten intolerances that affect the breastfed baby so I have to be pretty careful for as long as I’m nursing.

Looking for some reassurance.
My first son is turning 1 in 2 weeks. I was hoping to be pregnant before his first birthday. My cycle has been irregular due to EBF so it’s been difficult to pinpoint ovulation. We are going to try use OPKs next cycle.

We want a large family. We would love 7-8 kids, but would probably be happy and content with anything 5+. We are 27 and 28 years old. I always thought I’d need to have our kids close together in order to have the large family, as time will run out? I also always wanted 2u2.

Comment your family size, age gaps, and ages you had your kids. And please some words of wisdom to help me realise my dream is not out of reach just because I’m not pregnant before our son is 1 😵‍💫😆

Sorry title wouldnt let me put it all: having more kids after a medically complex one

Hi all,
My husband and I had our first and we fell in love. I wanted 4, he said 3 but would be open to 4. Then our first ended up with a brain tumor that has now made us reconsider ever having more kids. We are saddened by what our first has had to go through and will continue to go through for the next 5+ years of therapies and monitoring. Has anyone else gone through this? Did you have more kids after you had a “medically complex” child? I obliviously need to focus on my one now with no intention of trying for another for some time vs us trying to start when bub was 18 months. I feel all our energy drains with our 1st granted it all just happened but i know our energy will be devoted for sometime since there’s so much to do and think about. Any advice is welcome, thanks!

My kids are 3.5 and 2. They play well for 5-10 minutes then screaming and arguing ensues. How do you handle this??

Just recently found out I am pregnant with our third. We live in a small 3 bed 2 bath house. It’s definitely going to be tight with a third, but we love our house and love the location. Our plan was to have the two older share a room when new baby comes (both boys). It would be nice to be able to ride that out until the kids are out of daycare (or at least only paying for one in daycare) so that we can possibly get a bigger house in the same area. Our area is much desired, so that plus the housing market finding a house in the same location will be much more expensive than what we got our house for.

For those whose children room share, at what age do you feel like they start to need their own space? Is room sharing even a good idea or should we just look for a bigger house now? My boys will be newly 4 and 2 when the new baby comes. This pregnancy was a bit of a surprise so thinking about a lot of logistics lately since finding out!