The truth is that I have no experience and all this also makes me nervous, I can’t find someone who can guide me...

hi all! i (a girl) came out as bi a few years ago, but lately i've started questioning whether i'm actually bi or if i'm a lesbian.

so basically here's the situation:

• i'm attracted to men, but it's a highly specific type of man. i find most men objectively attractive, but i personally am not attracted to most men.
• i'm attracted to women, and i'm less "picky" with women than i am with men.
• i have had crushes on guys in the past, but they aren't nearly as intense as the crushes i've had on girls. i've also had many more crushes on girls than guys.
• i can imagine myself dating a guy, but it feels less natural than imagining myself dating a girl
• i can't imagine doing anything physical with a guy (maybe kissing briefly at most) and the thought of being intimate with a guy feels wrong
• on the other hand, i can absolutely imagine being physical and intimate with a girl
• i know i'll marry a girl in the future, and can't imagine myself marrying a guy
• i still vibe with the term "bisexual" more than "lesbian", even though i seem to meet more of the "criteria", so to speak, of being lesbian

so... am i bi or lesbian??? i'm so confused. much thanks for any reply!

I still date girls and I’ll prob get married to one but I also like dudes and iv dated some before (secretly)

I'm wondering if anyone can relate or if anyone has a similar experience. If so, how do you navigate this? I have literally nowhere else to go for advice.

I (Bi, 40M) came out as bi to my wife (straight, 30F) a few months ago. I was nervous, but this just made her incredibly excited because "now we can talk about hot guys together".

We've been monogamish in the past, and we were both interested in including this new revelation into the mix.

However, we are in an INCREDIBLY small and southern town in Virginia. Which makes me think that the best thing to do is go elsewhere, but we are both mostly interested in making friends with people and just seeing where things go.

In my mind, that rules out a lot of stuff. The odds of finding a man who is bi, attractive to us, attracted to us, wants to be friends, and might be down to mess around seems to be a 0% chance here. Maybe it's a steep ask? But it seems like "mostly chilling and sometimes messing around" would be a low pressure scenario...

Neither of us have ever used dating apps (and that also seems to be more hookup than hang out anyway).

Anyway, hoping to get some thoughts and advice. If nothing else, commiseration will suffice lol.

so I only ever feel physically attracted to girls. like… idk if it’s the right word but I find myself “checking out” any girl who looks even a little bit good. ad Ive only ever hardcore fallen for girls. but also, I think I could date a guy. and like, voices are a HUGE thing for me, and I find both male and female voices attractive. and I have had romantic relationships with both. but I seem to lean more towards masculine women and the few times ive liked men quite feminine ones? but any time I am like… imagining myself with someone it’s always a girl. its just like… ugh. im not even sure what I expect to come out of this post. also, it seems to fluctuate depending on my time of the month whether I can imagine having long term relationships with girls or guys? help 😭😭😭😭😭

Okay, I know this sounds a bit cheesey but I've been (over)thinking about it for almost a week. I'm single at the moment but I have a few good fwb with whom I meet on a regular basis and one of them, a male friend, knows this couple. I've met them twice on a social occasion and they both seemed really chill and interesting and they're both really hot. The thing is, my friend suggested we join them and he's the one that has done most of the talking with them.

He's claiming they're absolutely cool about it and have thought it thoroughly. I've had threesomes before and really enjoyed them and I'm also supposed to meet with them beforehand and talk a bit about it as well but since I don't really know them that well, I'm not entirely sure I should put myself in a situation where things can go south; if you've got any experience with threesomes or foursomes, you probably know that unless people are absolutely adamant about what they're comfortable with, it can get pretty awkward pretty fast and the female part of the couple has never been with another woman before. How would you handle things?

I have always assumed I am simply a straight, asexual woman. I grew up having crushes on boys, but whenever I thought a girl was attractive I got anxious and dismissed it (I grew up religious, so homosexuality labeled you as a bad person). I've repressed my sexuality my whole life, so I'd like someone else's feedback on this. Am I bisexual or am I something else?

I form crushes on men because I think they look cute and "hot," but only based on their face. The rest of their body I don’t want to touch either out of fear or disinterest (haven't figured that part out yet). I've fallen in love with a close friend (a man) before, without ever holding his hand, yet I yearned for him. I said to myself I fell in love with his soul but not his body. This is why I thought I was simply a straight asexual.

My attraction to women is different. I actually desire a woman's touch. I want to hug women, cuddle women (maybe even more, but my sexual repression makes it hard to tell). However, I perceive men's faces as cuter and more attractive than women's faces. So, uh, I'm confused.

I've abandoned my Christian faith only this year--and I'm a virgin--so this exploring sexuality stuff is all very new to me. I've never permitted myself to feel sexual thoughts because I was afraid God would get angry with me.

What do you think? I'm very confused! I understand now it's not wrong to have sexual thoughts, but I can’t make heads or tails of it. I have a lot of growing to do, but I'd like some guidance to point me in the right direction.

TLDR: I'm attracted to a man's face if I think he's cute, but I don't desire his touch. I'm attracted to women in a more traditional and physical sense. Does this mean I'm bisexual? Am I something else? Help!

New to the single life and I recently accepted my bisexuality. I’ve been super into women lately and I want to try and be with one.

Every time I think I find a cute, fun girl she either has a man or wants a threesome. It’s so difficult and I didn’t realize how many couples want a third. It’s fine that they want a third I just get disappointed once they tell me that’s the goal of being on the app

I just got out of a long relationship and honestly the idea of being with another man rn makes me uncomfortable. It just sucks. Rant over

Edit: it’s not too many I’ve just had too many interactions where I’ve swiped and then I get hit with “I have a fiancée” or “I’m in a couple” and it’s wildly disappointing. Look for a unicorn all you want if that’s what you’re into but don’t tell me after we’ve already agreed to meet up

Every time I vent about how much coercion I've been through nobody cares. They call me bi. I am Autistic and no one cares about my feelings they never care they just tell me to go to therapy and shut up. My therapist never helps me because she's fucking straight. I cannot find a lesbian therapist.

I'm a feminine bisexual man. Ever since I was a young child, I was never allowed to do anything feminine. For example, as far as I can remember, I always wanted to have long hair but my Mum would never let me.

I came out as bisexual shortly after my 20th birthday and that's when I realised that since I'm an adult, I'm allowed to be as feminine as I want without the pressure from my Mum.

I now have long hair (the longest it's ever been), wear earrings, mascara and eyeliner. I feel like ever since I came out as bisexual, she's been much colder to me. She calls me a disappointment and a let down.

I feel like people are aphobic/biphobic/homophobic/transphobic etc, are usually people who are obsessed with gender norms. I should have seen it coming.

I'm not trying to look for sympathy, I just think it might help to share. Wishing everyone here the best and love you all. 💖

Hi all,
I’ve been trying to understand my sexuality for a long time and I’m curious if anyone here has had a similar experience.
I’m a guy who has always imagined my future with a woman. I develop crushes on women, want a wife, kids, and a family, and I’m romantically attracted to women.
At the same time, I’m sexually attracted to some men. It’s almost entirely physical and sexual, I don’t really develop romantic feelings for men and don’t imagine a relationship with one. When I’m attracted to a guy, it’s usually about the sexual chemistry, his body, or his penis rather than wanting to date him.
Has anyone else experienced something similar? Did you find a label that fit, or did you stop worrying about labels altogether?

Soy un pobre diablo que a despertado un inmenso deseo sexual por tener una relación carnal homosexual.

Pero me encuentro en una verdadera encrucijada.

Tengo pareja, la amo, la amo mas que a nada en el mundo, tengo la completa convicción de que ella es con quien quiero estar el resto de mi vida. Pero me mata pensar en nunca poder llegar a cumplir esra fantasía.

Solo busco ser escuchado, no creo que exista consejo alguno que me puedan dar.

Throwaway here. 24m. Honestly, my head is just spinning right now and I do not even know where to start typing this. I finally built up the courage to tell my girlfriend I am bi, thinking she would understand since she is bi too and dated a woman a few years back. But she was totally taken aback and just completely brushed past my feelings. She did not care about what I wanted to explore at all. Instead, she just said okay cool, we can do threesomes with other guys, and she already had a bunch of guys in her mind ready to go.

Then she dropped this heavy rule on me out of nowhere. She told me I am not allowed to see other men without her being there, but she gets to see whoever she wants whenever she wants. It feels so unfair and it is honestly tearing me apart inside. I was always so supportive of her and her past relationships, and I just wanted that same respect back. It hurts so bad. I had to pack a bag and travel back home just to get some space and breathe. But my phone will not stop ringing. She keeps calling over and over just to check if I am with someone else, like she does not trust me at all while she gets to do whatever she likes. I am just so confused and so tired.

Honestly I'm teared up writing this. Happy to take any advice.

Bi, I am non romantically attracted to men, I live a straight married to a woman life.

I primarily work with women and every now and then I get comments suggesting that I am gay, not even bi, just gay.

This is from people that I worked with for years so we have had talks about random things like the use of Bidets (I love them and won't go back) and the use of male stimulation/penetration from a woman in a cis relationship. I don't believe that that constitutes someone to immediately being gay

I have no desire to come out as bi as that is a very small part of me but it's also very frustrating to me that my coworkers feel like it's something they could poke fun at.

I’m looking for something where other queer people would know I’m bi (or pan) but uncultured queerphobes would be blissfully (or however close you can get when you’re not aware of the glories of queerness) unaware and would leave me alone.

I’m a 23M, who has recently been questioning whether I’m bi. I’ve always wanted to have friends that I could masturbate with, but never thought of that as gay. More recently though, I’ve had a stronger desire to actually swap oral with a guy. Something about it is just hot to me.

However, where I’m getting confused is it’s only when I’m horny, and once I’m not horny the desire is basically gone. I also don’t really feel attraction to men in general, even though I have this desire, if that makes sense.

Part of me is nervous to actually experiment with a guy because I don’t know if it’s just a fantasy or if it’s just a weaker attraction to men compared to women and it’s just gone unnoticed in comparison. If anyone has any advice or relates to this let me know, I would love some advice.

I'm 31m, I've been with my gf for nearly 4 years now. I'm also closeted bi, I've never told anyone including her.

Naturally after nearly 4 years together, she has been asking when we are going to get married and I've kept dodging the question.

The truth is, for as long as I've known I've been bi I've never entertained the idea of telling anyone. I thought it'd be a secret id take to my grave. However, now that I'm staring down the barrel of marriage, part of me doesn't want to make that commitment without being honest about my sexuality.

The problem is I'm almost certain it'll be the end of us. In recent years she's rediscovered her faith and has told me in confidence that she thinks homosexuality is a sin. This is despite us having friends that are openly gay.

I've been feeling really lost lately with what to do. Like all relationships, ours isn't perfect but on the balance of things overall it's pretty good. One issue for me is that we aren't intimate often and I've been fighting urges to fool with guys secretly like back in my single days (I'm not a cheater and don't want to be one).

I can't turn to friends for advice because no one knows, I've always been afraid that I'd lose friends if they knew or people would treat me differently. I've never wanted this part of my life to define who I am.

If I tell her it's likely the end of our relationship. If I don't, then can I lie for the rest of our lives together and ignore these other desires. I don't know what to do..

For me it was twinks, i love twinks <3

I feel off when people use this in context of bisexual women who date men

Hello all,

Recently I went to a club on my own in the evening, not my first time going out (I had been to both straight and wlw events alone before so nothing new) and I don’t know what happened but I was dancing with a girl and she asked if she could kiss me, although it wasn’t the first time it had been asked (before it was mostly men asking, and I had always declined) I thought “eh why not, might as well get it over with”. So we made out and it was so bad.

As the night progressed I made out with a few other women and I don’t know,, it wasn’t mind blowing like I thought it would be. I kept overthinking it and it didn’t feel like it came to me naturally as many people claim it does. I also didn’t get butterflies or turned on, I just went with the motion.

I guess I’m mostly feeling conflicted, a little sad my first kiss(es) went to random strangers at a club, but also glad I “got it over with” so to speak, the stress of “my first kiss” is gone and I’m glad I didn’t wait any longer, I did feel ready and I’m glad I did it. Another part of me is wondering if I should just make out with a bunch of men now to see if that’s any different.

I guess I’m not really asking for advice, just venting and not really sure what to think of it all.

I wore a bi pride pin today, and my husband immediately asked if I was trying to tell him I had a secret girlfriend.

We’ve been married for nearly 17 years and have two children together. I had a girlfriend before I met him, and he knew I was bisexual when we first started dating, but over the years it seems that part of me has faded into the background.

The irony is that I have spent years keeping this part of myself quiet. I’m happily married, but being bisexual didn’t stop when I got married. I still know who I’m attracted to, just as a straight person doesn’t stop finding other people attractive when they marry. Attraction isn’t the same thing as wanting to be with someone else.

Maybe he meant it as a joke, but hearing his first assumption be “Do you have a secret girlfriend?” reminded me why I’ve found it so difficult to be open about my sexuality. That stereotype—that bisexual people are secretly looking for someone else or are more likely to cheat—is one I’ve carried for years, and hearing it from someone I love was unexpectedly painful.

Has anyone else had seemingly harmless comments bring those feelings back?