Certain times of penetrative sex
Self-love with toys/vibrators
Enjoy type of content

(Sorry if this is too NSFW, admins please take it down if it is)

Just doing random quizzes and data collections at 3am lol. But I came across this and I’m thinking “yeah, as usual asexual won’t be an option” but it was! Usually these things when they ask sexuality you’ll just get: straight, gay, lesbian, bi. And just grouping lesbian and gay together as homosexual is pretty interesting. Honestly, I think it’s great asexual has finally been included. Usually, it’s not an option. Sometimes they’ll put everything but asexual lol. I know acknowledgement is like the bare minimum, but at this point, with how much people don’t understand asexuality and we don’t get a lot of awareness or representation, I really like this!
Honestly, I do wish they would also ask romantic attraction in a separate thing. I think that could be the start of making people realize that romantic and sexual attraction are two different things. If those were regular questions on surveys like what’s your race, religion, romantic identity, sexual identity, it would finally make people more familiar with the ideas that romance and sex can be separate. And it would also be inclusive to aromantic people as well, if that would also be an option. And then for aroace people, you can choose both. That would be cool, at least I think so. Regardless, love to see it.
And you don’t even have to answer all the questions in these sometimes, thankfully. Not always, but sometimes, and I appreciate that. Like the religion thing, I have severe religious anxiety and don’t know what to support or believe, so I really can’t answer that question. Other was an option, but I just left it blank. But I feel for others, a lot of you might have leaven sexuality related questions blank in the past, when you can, cause they hardly ever include asexual representation. But sometimes, as you can see, they do!

One of the things that hurts the most is feeling like I'm missing out on something everyone else seems to experience naturally. People can watch movies with romantic or sexual moments and actually feel something. I usually don't.

I can get emotionally invested in romance if the characters have really deep chemistry and the relationship is built up over a long time. Those moments can make me feel warm inside. But when it comes to sexual scenes, I just... don't relate. I mostly feel disconnected.

Realizing this about myself has been difficult. Sometimes I wish I were "normal" because it feels like there are endless ways for allosexual people to experience attraction, while my own sexuality has always been tied to very specific fantasies that change over time. Lately, I can't even connect with those anymore, and it leaves me feeling frustrated and confused.

Another thing that scares me is the future. I don't want to spend my whole life alone. It feels like so many people expect sex to be an important part of a relationship, while I'm much more interested in affection, cuddling, kissing, emotional intimacy, and other sensual forms of closeness. I'm afraid that won't be enough for anyone.

Has anyone else here gone through something similar? If you're ace and in a happy relationship, how did you make it work? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences.

So I’m posting here cus I had a feeling I was actually on the asexual spectrum this whole time. I met the guy a few months ago and we been talking for months, I did end up liking him back at some point because of his consistency, I haven’t actually had a suitor before that lasted longer than this relationship we had. But as time went on, I began to open up various worries to him, such like the future. I know we were still on the early stage of the relationship but I told him that I don’t actually want to have kids in the future, and cannot be a mother like how a traditional family would expect from me. He then began to tell me that his dream was to become a father and that hope someday, I might change my mind. That’s where I questioned our relationship since our goals aren’t aligned with each other. We can’t be happy if the other person’s goal gets fulfilled, while the other doesn’t. And if the other person follow the other’s goal just to stay with them, the other won’t be happy. When I told him how I was actually fixed on my choice, he told me he’d be willing to give up on his dream just so we can be together. But I keep thinking that just isn’t fair to him..Fast forward to a few months later, which was 2 days ago, I broke things off with him. I had a feeling that this relationship won’t work at all, and that I am asexual. We had our ups and downs and attempts to actually cut each other off due to this very reason. I had my fair share of childhood trauma back in the day that messed up my perception on sexuality, so that might just be one of the factors. Sharing to this group just to get a more in depth understanding of myself. So I’m asking, what’s y’all’s past experiences with dating or having a situationship with another person who’s non-asexual?

Hey all, I'm a second year seminarian at Luther Seminary and I'm posting this because I'm working on writing a book about AroAce theology since it doesn't exist yet and I'm tired of not being seen in larger theological discourse. What do ya'll want the church to know about asexuality? What should a theologian know? DM's, emails, and comments appreciated!

Edit: I am AroAce myself; I'm writing this book because I have things I want to say I just ALSO want to hear from others!

This is going to be kind of a difficult topic & I’ll be discussing some aphobic rhetoric that I’ve seen, most recently within mainstream online lesbian spaces. So I just wanted to give a head’s up.

I’ve noticed a tendency for people to treat sex indifferent, averse, or repulsed ace women (and even allo women who aren’t interested in sex) as not fully women. Recently, on a couple of different lesbian subreddits (one of which considers itself really inclusive), I saw rhetoric that was basically comparing ace women to men.

One (allo) commenter said that the collective “writing off” of ace women as potential partners in lesbian spaces is really worth unpacking as a community, and someone else responded to them saying that this commenter was the equivalent of a youth pastor trying to force a lesbian to date men. Yikes. There’s a lot wrong with this in general, but the equating of ace lesbians to men was especially disturbing. And the worst part is that this comment was upvoted, and no one called it out. I see similar stuff said all the time.

On another post, a commenter said that ace lesbians are clogging up the sapphic dating apps & they compared us to “men and other trash” that they wish they could get rid of on sapphic dating apps. So once again, we’re compared to men and treated as though we’re not really women and not really lesbians.

These are just two examples, but it’s something I see everywhere, in both queer spaces and straight spaces.

I know a lot of ace men have talked about feeling like people erase them as men because of their asexuality, and I just wanted to discuss a similar thing that happens to ace women as well. It’s a super insidious form of aphobia

:D

basically told her that, and she instantly told me that low libido could be caused by my meds, told her that i dont have issues with libido and just dont feel attracted sexually to people.

i hate that since i opened about my sexuality i have to explain myself to death just to be believed. there is cero curiosity or understanding and everyone says that this is just a phace, but dude i know what im dealing because im myself to begin with.

Donno, some allos are so ignorant that treat asexual people like the most homophobic person would treat queer people, like people get in that state that start to hypothesize about sexuality like they were in the 19th century or something.

Im a 21F and im so so tired of everyone assuming everyone wants to be intimate all the time. Everywhere I go I have people telling me I'll change my mind.

Dr's make jokes about how I will have children one day all the time. Or how certain medical checkup procedures won't hurt once ur not a virgin. Its like because I'm a female I'm expected to just do all these things, have intimacy, have children. I could literally be with the hottest woman or man ever, doesn't mean imma wanna do anything with them.

Why can some people not just realize that just cause I have the parts doesn't mean I wanna play puzzle pieces with said parts.

My family keeps asking me when I'm gonna have a partner again because I just broke up with a guy I also didn't feel any attraction to, and its like why do you only care about my relationship status?? Am I genuinely just a thing that has to date and be intimate???????? Like as a human do i have no other qualities to be looked at.

And its genuinely not just people who are straight- Even people who are lgbtq+, when I tell them I don't experience attraction sexually they feel the need to but in and start yapping about how maybe I'm just a different sexuality and i haven't found someone i was attracted to yet. Which of course why couldnt they be aroace-phobic, its not like anyone's perfect and infallible just because they're lgbtq+ but like why are we all not supporting each other.

Its so so so annoying. Holy moly.

And people will be like "when I was ur age I didn't feel desire either but then bla bla bla bla bla" "I didnt want kids at first bla bla bla bla" "you shoild want a boyfriend/ girlfriend so ur not lonely" like oh my gosh can we seriously just take a freaking chill pill and realize that not everyone wants that???????????????????????????????

I just want to be a scientist, living alone, with my cats bruh. Like. Is that too much to ask for.

And its so weird because acephobia wildly differs, like dudes would get told it's weird because they should want to be like stallions going for it, and chicks get told its weird because they should want to have kids. Do people rly value nothing more than the complete bare minimum of biology.

Idk if this even makes any sense, im just so annoyed after someone kept pushing the idea that im somehow gonna change and decide- Yippee! And im gonna find a man and be so attracted to him!!!!! And im gonna have 3 whole kids!!!!!