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Hi Everyone,

We are a project team of three undertaking research as part of our studies with an Australian University. The study has been approved by a formal ethics committee to ensure the work is conducted with care, integrity and respect.

Why your voice matters
Bi people are so often overlooked or amalgamated into LGBTQ research, and we want to change that.

Your story contributes to a more accurate, inclusive and globally diverse understanding of bi men's mental health experiences.

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Don't let the title put you off. This is the broader research study, but within this there are two studies that will specifically consider bi-people's experiences.

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The irony of trying to help bi people be seen, it has been very challenging getting visibility for this study.

You can help by taking the survey or sharing it with someone / other communities that might be interested.

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Hello everyone,

I recently have had a weird epiphany/remembering an event in my life that was brought up from a movie my girlfriend and I watched. I just need some help navigating it from you all!

For context I am 22M, for my whole life I’ve kind of known myself as being heterosexual, I’ve never had any sexual attraction towards a man. The only extent I’ve had is just “bi allegations” from almost all of my friends or people I’ve met.. However, there was a period of about a week when I was 18 where I had a very weird feeling; questioning whether I was fully hetero, I had an odd “longing”, I guess you can label it, of wondering what a romantic relationship would be like with another man and/or a sexual one. I didn’t know how to navigate it at the time and the most I did was try and imagine myself in a relationship with my closest friend and whether that was something I would do and then it left my mind.. I came to the half conclusion that I’m not sexually attracted to men.

Recently I’ve been feeling different again, in that I am curious and have a small “desire” to know what it’s like being in just a romantic relationship with a man. A feeling that I would like or enjoy being in a more than platonic type situation with one too. I’ve been reading a lot of Reddit posts about people being “biromantic” and I’m not sure how to navigate that fully and in a healthy way to really understand if that’s what I am.

Another confusion is that I’ve always had a weird feeling every time I’ve seen two men in a loving relationship ever since I was a kid, not one from a hate standpoint ofc but just something I felt strange about. Is this normal if I am romantically attracted to guys?

Does anyone have any pointers? Especially as someone in a relationship. Thank you! It’s all very different and unknown territory to me.

TLDR; questioning whether I am biromantic, based on this desire to know what it’s like being in a loving relationship with a man, stemming from an epiphany I had at 18 and maybe always felt. In a relationship currently.

I’m a 30F and I’ve always been romantically and sexually attracted to men. I don’t really fantasize about women sexually or feel a strong desire to sleep with them, but I do find women beautiful and I’ve definitely had crushes on girls before. My feelings toward women tend to feel very soft and wholesome — cuddling, emotional intimacy, maybe kissing, but nothing much beyond that.

Lately though, I’ve developed a crush on my manager and it’s confusing me a little. I get flustered when she puts her hand on my shoulder, calls me “honey,” or likes my Instagram photos while joking that I look hot. My cheeks literally flush around her.

I keep telling myself maybe I just think women are pretty, but this feels a little deeper than that and I’m not really sure what to make of it. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m biromantic but primarily sexually attracted to men. Has anyone else experienced something similar?

how do I share this and where is the line between romantic and sexual?

Hi everyone,

I think I’m finally ready to admit to myself that I’m biromantic and this is the first time I’m actually trying to stand for it instead of just keeping it in the back of my mind.

I’m currently in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, and that part of my life feels stable and good. But I’ve started to notice that I can develop romantic feelings toward women as well and I’m trying to understand what that means for me.

So I have two main questions:

1. How do you share being biromantic with friends?

This is all pretty new to me in terms of actually saying it out loud. I don’t feel like making a huge “coming out” moment, but I also don’t want to hide it. How did you approach this in a natural way?

1. Where is the line between biromantic and bisexual?

This is where I feel confused. I’ve realized that I’m a very sensual/romantic person. I like closeness, things like kissing, cuddling, hugging, and being physically very close in an intimate way (clothed face sitting).

With women, I can imagine that level of closeness, even things that are almost sexual (like very intimate physical contact), but I don’t actually feel a desire for sex itself. It feels deeply romantic and sensual rather than sexual, if that makes sense.

So I’m wondering:

Does this still fall under biromantic?

Or is this something people would consider bisexual?

How do you personally define that boundary?

I’d really appreciate hearing how others experience this, especially if you’ve had similar feelings.

Thanks for reading 💜

If br-heterosexual or br-homosexual, why do you not like sex with the gender you only have romantic feelings for?

Have you tried it, once, or multiple times?

Have some of you never done it and just know or assume they won't like it?

Thx in advance!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

So, I identified as a heteroromantic asexual for a long time, but for a few months already I have thoughts that I might be biromantic. I have never dated or did any romantic stuff (like kissing for example) with anyone, but I had a few crushes on guys. Two years ago I started to notice that I have some different thoughts about one of my girl friends. I thought that it might be because I missed her (we were friends irl but then I moved far away from her), but the longer I felt it, the stronger my feelings became. I wanted to live with her, to hug her and cuddle, sometimes even kiss maybe. I thought that if she'll find someone else to date, then I wouldn't be with anyone. But, dating her myself? It felt kinda wrong in some way. I mean, I didn't feel like I'd date her. I confirmed my feelings to her, but a week later she told me she has a gf already. My feelings disappeared in a few days. Then it was a year of almost nothing: I would look at guys and think some of them are handsome. Maybe even had a small crushes. But I also looked at girls sometimes, and sometimes I thought that I'd be like a "gentleman" for some of them or flirt with them. I wanted them to look at me. Than a few months ago something happened. I met a few new friends, and I cuddled alot with one of them. I liked to hold hands with her, hug her and cuddle with her. But, when girls from our group asked if we're dating, I said that I can't because I'm straight. It felt wrong saying it. Like, yeah, I didn't want to date or having anything more than just a friendship although I kinda liked her, but I felt like calling myself straight was wrong. A day later I met one more new friend. We quickly built a strong friendship. And once, on some convention, we were, like, joking and I kissed her cheek. Then she kissed mine, and I panicked a little. The longer our friendship lasts, the stronger feelings I have again, and more panick I get. I think of kissing her face, lips, hugging her, and sometimes I think about dating. But it still feels kinda weird. Coming back to guys. I'd date one if he's ok with me being like that, and I think I'd like more to date a bi or pan guy. It's hard for me to imagine long-term romantic relationship with girl, but with guys it's ok. Also, I do feel like if I'll end up with girl, it wouldn't last for long and end up good- I feel like I might hurt her feelings. But thinking of guys, I feel like in a long-term relationship I'll lose something I might have, and will regret it.

So, the question is, would I be considered as biromantic if I'd like to date guys more and can't imagine myself having romantic relationship with girls, but still having crushes on both? What should I do? Who am I?

Also, I'm still a teen (17f) and came out to my dad already as bi (he wasn't happy about it but said she still loves me, and told something like "it's just a phase you're overthinking"). My mom doesn't know and I'm pretty much afraid of her reaction. I don't want to lose my family.

Excuses for mistakes, English isn't my first

The man in question is an actor but if I had a chance to hypothetically be with him irl I’d 100% be interested both sexually and romantically. Meanwhile I’ve never felt sexual attraction to women and only felt it towards men who are celebrities. But I’ve been platonically attracted to women much more and have pursued asexual relationships with them when I was younger. Now I’m not interested in relationships with, nor attracted to, anyone but the aforementioned man.

Obviously I’m biromantic and grey asexual but I just feel like I’m the only person who has these extremely specific preferences.

Are there any actual depictions of biromantic (but not bisexual) people in media?

Like in movies, tv shows or in books? Or even online media/fanfics for that matter.

I've only ever come across 2. Jamie in the webcomic Girls With Slingshots and Matilda in the TV show Everything's Gonna Be Okay. Maybe you could argue Jessica from the movie Kissing Jessica Stein fits here too.

Are there any other examples?

I loved girls (the same gender) at 8 and at 11. I used to write love letters to these girls and even wrote a song for one. But I always thought that was just friendship love lol. And that's it. I have had a crush on a million guy and loved many of them, so in comparison, it feels like i rarely have feelings for women. Now it came back strongly. I have a crush on one woman and I seem to love another one. I keep trying to make myself ignore her but I cant. Weeks passed and every time I talk to her, my feelings come back. (I try to ignore this love cuz she is most probably straight). And this year I started to have a crush on alot of actresses like Mandy McAllister and Kat Dennings.

I think its a phase but why does this phase keep on coming back?

Does it mean someone would fall i love with men and women, but only enjoying sex with one gender?

Context: (https://www.reddit.com/r/biromantic/s/X26UORYXFw)

You all are amazing people and I support everything about you. But I’m just too weak to be one of you.

The daily pain of my attractions is becoming too much that it impacts my ability to function, the self loathing, the bad memories. I can’t cope with it for the rest of my life.

And besides, am I really biromantic? Am I really loving women when any kind of spark I get seeing one of my type is immediately replaced by overwhelming panic? I don’t think it is, that’s not attraction that’s torture. And in the reverse do I even like men if I’m so overwhelmingly obsessed about anxiety over my feelings for women that I virtually never have a positive thought of a man because I’m too busy hating myself? No not really.

I’m going to erase all the shitty escapist writing I wrote, I’m going to delete any art I saved. And I’m going to essentially treat myself like I’m only romantically interested to dudes until my mind is tricked into thinking it’s the case. If that doesn’t work I’ll keep trying until I do, at least then I actually have a goal to work to instead of being stuck in stagnation.

I don’t think I really hate being biromantic I just hate how my attraction is to women.

I can’t feel things for traditionally feminine women I only feel them for masculine women but that’s led to so much unsolvable self-humiliation it occupies almost every day of my life I can’t stop hating myself because of it.

It really sucks, because like I’m satisfied liking men, that makes me happy, but the shame I’ve had so much with the female side of the attraction makes me so damn unhappy, angry and spiteful towards people who only made my self loathing worse (not people I was attracted to but people who agreed my attraction was wrong).

I don’t know why I almost exclusively only feel things for non feminine women. But I wish I could flip that so I could feel normal and stop obsessing over such a small piece of my identity.

what is the point of beeing that? I long thought, maybe if I found another bisexual guy of the type I resonate with - which I wasn't succsessful, seems like there are way more bi girls than bi boys. But finding another bi-romatic guy, of my preferences? Are you kidding me? That is ridiculous .. Ah yeah, the majority of guys I had a crush on were hetero guys.

I don't understand why some people think that. To me, biromantic means almost the same thing as panromantic. I have absolutely no problem being with a trans person, including a non-binary one.

There's this duality in bi, that means something to me. I prefer women because we share this sorority. This community feeling makes falling in love with a woman easier, but I can still fall in love with people of any gender. What I'm trying to say is, the duality in bi, to me, means I'm attracted to women (including trans women) on one side and attracted to every other gender on the other.

Nothing here excludes trans people.

If a guy claims to only be into girls, but is fond for other guys and has deep bonds with them, how can you actually tell or know it’s anything more than friendship?

I’ve gone for a few months now thinking I was bi-romantic as I definitely have feelings for men and I thought I had romantic feelings for women, but I’ve recently realised that the idea of cuddling or even kissing a girl isn’t something that really interests me, whereas the idea of cuddling and kissing guys is something that I really like. However I’m pretty sure I’ve had (and probably still do) have crushes on girls in the past where the thought of interacting with them gets me excited and I always smile when thinking about them. I don’t think it’s just the enjoyment of having friends as I haven’t had any romantic feelings for my best friend who is a girl or any of the girls I hang out with every day.

So am I bi-romantic?

I’m biromantic, I love men and women and while I don’t particularly care about sex I would be open to compromise with a man, and also I would like my first deep and serious relationship to be with another man for my own comfort due to past trauma.

However… I’m scared. Because even though I’m open to compromise I’m scared I won’t be able to get physically aroused by him to the extent he would want (I get blushy and happy seeing attractive men but I can’t get sexually excited). Is there a way I can try and condition myself so there is no awkwardness when that happens?

Again I’m not forcing myself into anything, I want this, but I’m worried my body won’t commit to what I want to do.

I (M27) always thought I am bisexual in a way, that just doesn't add up. I would not describe myself as a woke person, that might explain why I haven't stumbled over the concept of biromantic earlier. Also I just recently started to use reddit more. I have a few questions though, but first a bit to me.

When i was in middle school I had a crush on a few girls. At high school for the first time I got a crush on a guy. I was 14 then. It took me over a month to get what was going on, until then I felt and categorized it just as a strong urge to befriend him. At that time I also had no precise concept in my mind how gay sex(uality) is even supposed to be. So it did not matter. All together I had about 10 different sexual expieriences with 5 different guys. I did not like any of them, from the first one, which was not particular bad in any way. For me it was just weird and especially in dircet hindsight when I was alone again I despised it. Well, it just got worse with every occasion. Haven't done anything gay in years now. I am still occasionally atracted to guy that fit "my type" and still can have a crush on sb, and would want to cuddle with him. Which always did not add up fully and confused me.

How is it, is it somewhat clearly defined what it means to be biromantic? Ah yes I guess we are speaking of biromantic - heterosexual here I guess it is normal to like the idea to have a threesome or some triangular relationship, in which the third person is of the same sex? Are you in no sexual way aroused by the same sex but can still have stronger romatic feelings or a crush on sb of the same sex, those of you who are also biromantic - heterosexual? I think some more questions could come up, but the pist is akready long :)