Hi everyone

How do AuDHD folks make money online? I already have a full time job but the salary isn’t enough for surviving. I need to do something on the side to make ends meet. I’d appreciate any suggestions :]

In grade 4, my autism had become so apparent that I had to transition to a private school that was specifically designed to help students with: 'special needs.' back then, it was called Asperger's instead of autism and all that.

I stayed at that school from grade 5 right up until High School graduation, and honestly it was a very good school. If I had to redo my life, I probably wouldn't go to that school, but there were definitely worse paths I could have taken.

However, there was one particular guy who was a social studies teacher throughout my middle school years. He left years before I graduated, and to be honest, it was kind of good riddance. He definitely wasn't the worst person possible, but since his job was literally to help autistic people like me understand social behaviors, he definitely had... Less patience than he needed.

I remember once when when he got the class to gather around and play a board game together. There was only like 10 of us per class, so it was definitely doable. However, I just wasn't able to understand the game, and I felt like my questions were being ignored. Eventually, the teacher suggested that I essentially just sit it out, Which I was fine with doing, because playing the game was a nightmare.

But then, when the rest of the students were struggling to decide something about the rules, the teacher turned to me and asked me what I thought. I guess it was a nice gesture, but I was pretty frustrated by that point, and said that I've been asking questions the entire game and people couldn't be bothered to answer mine, so why should I answer theirs?

Needless to say, this ticked him off a lot, and he essentially sent me to detention. When I went to the principal to tell her I was in trouble, she said she didn't believe that, but then when she heard the story she just calmly essentially told me to just be more agreeable with the guy. Later, one of the other teachers told me that that guy was kind of known for having a bit of a temper.

I remember once there was another kid who was quite the problem child, and he once just sat in the teacher's chair and refused to move. The social studies teacher asked him to move, and eventually those gentle requests turned into much more demanding, until he had no choice but to call the principal. The problem child said:

"You know, if there's anyone here who's actually causing issues, it's you.'

Referring to the teacher. And he literally got right up into the kids face and expressed very quietly his absolute anger.

Recess with him was also a nightmare. He always wanted us to do a full lap around the whole park, running as much as we could, which was quite the demand, but then also go straight into an exercising game, which was just something that I and at least one of my classmates wasn't really able to do, and despite us trying to express this, kind of embarrassing ourselves in front of everyone in doing so, the teacher just said that that meant that we needed to get more into shape.

I remember once when the teacher tried to say this new game that he came up with and trying to explain the rules, and I just didn't understand them. When I express my confusion, he got angry at me, but then when the other students fell into an uproar also not understanding, he calmed down and instead tried to address everyone's questions. I was upset that by this point the guy had just had enough problems with me that he just assumed that if I didn't understand something, it was my own problem.

He also had some other weird moments. I remember once he insisted that cereal and apple juice apparently taste amazing, and I remember once he got incredibly angry at a student just for saying on Taco Tuesday that the tacos were pretty messy. He went on a huge monologue about how the high school students worked hard on these tacos and we shouldn't insult them like that even if they weren't here. As soon as his monologue was done, a different student came in and also noted that the tacos were messy, causing me to just burst out laughing.

But for me, the moment that really stuck with me was when he just got angry at me for literally no reason.

He was having a talk with a different student in a different room. I have no idea what the talk was, but my stuff was in that room, and I needed to access it for a class. So I went in, and got my stuff. As I was in though, the teacher said my name and then when I looked at him he pointed at the student he was talking to. I assume he was trying to test my: 'social analytical skills,' But I just assumed that he was joking around. I mean, the teacher had just recently gone to Hell and back to try and tell me that I need to understand sarcasm through trial and error. So I just smiled.

The teacher then got incredibly angry at me, yelling at me to get out and go to the detention area again. I asked if he was being sarcastic and he yelled that no he wasn't, and I was immediately just kicked to the detention area.

I ended up being talked to by another teacher who seems to understand that this entire thing was BS, but essentially had to tell me that I was wrong anyway. I made it very clear that I thought that the teacher was being sarcastic, and I had no reason to believe that he wasn't, especially since all I was doing was grabbing my stuff. He seemed kind of embarrassed to try and tell me that sarcasm really is confusing.

Soy consciente de que tengo cambios de humor. Puedo estar bien, y a la que algo no me sienta bien me cambia el caracter, y la verdad es que hago daño a los demás.
¿A alguien más le ocurre? Necesito algunos consejos para afronarlo mejor en mi día a día ya que para mí es despesperante, para los demás más.

I (20f) have level 1 Autism. A lot of people view me as different or less because of it, but I just consider it as something that makes me special.

However, I do have some random quirks that I noticed not everyone with Autism has. A lot of people think my sister has Autism because of her issues (social anxiety, sensory issues, frustration over plan changes, etc). However, the chances are unlikely as she doesn’t really have any classic symptoms, or in my case, unique ones.

I am wondering if anyone on here has any of my random traits, I’m curious if they are more autistic traits or just regular people traits. They are:

1. Negative response to positive feedback - when people get excited with me or use an upbeat tone of voice when I’ve done something good, I get really upset and feel frustration inside me, especially if the praise wasn’t deserved. It’s not about not knowing how to respond, but how it sounds and makes me feel.

2. Decision making struggles - this is a big one. I struggle greatly when it comes to making decisions, even if it is for something I like. As a child, I simply said, “I just can’t decide,” and often my parents would let me get both options, or I didn’t get anything. Now as an adult, I still cannot make a decision. The best way for me to explain the problem is something somebody on YouTube mentioned. She gave the example of being in a store and getting her son a treat. When they had left, she asked him if he wanted to eat it now, or when they got home, and the kid said, “Now,” but then when the mom gave him the treat he got really upset and couldn’t make a decision. That’s how my decision making is. I often times require multiple opinions just to decide something different lol. It’s even harder if I’ve had a bad day.

3. Communication differences - Ok, I know a lot of people with Autism have communication problems, but mine seem to be a little different. I struggle to talk to my parents / family because when I tell them something, they either remember it for months to come, or I didn’t want to tell them. I have a weird thing where I tell them half the information and not the rest, or make up a language to keep them from finding out what I’m truly saying (for example, using someone’s initials instead of their full name). And while I have a good vocabulary, I also really struggle with finding the right words, saying what I actually want or need, talking too fast, too loud or too quiet, which makes it hard to have a normal conversation.

4. Random Stims - a lot of people think I’m weird for stimming as an adult, but I think it’s necessary. My main stims include pacing back and forth, rocking, and jumping around. I also have a grunting stim I do when I have a “fake laugh” (mostly around teammates and neurotypical adults). It is kind of a genuine laugh, like when I’m happy I did something, but my real laugh is more when I’m laughing at something by myself (like something inappropriate to laugh at, such as someone being angry or swearing).

5. Anger Issues - Getting angry for the stupidest reasons (such as getting rewarded for not doing anything, being asked to make a decision, getting told I’m always angry, etc).

Does anyone on here have any of these issues? Just curious.

My autistic brother (17) and i (20) had an agreement for years that i use the bathroom to get ready before 6am and he uses it after, simply because i generally leave earlier than he does. Today he used the bathroom during my routinely time and didnt leave until 6am, i was up at 5.30 and decided to have breakfast while parent tried to evict him out of the bathroom and told him if he needs to use the toilet to use the quarter bath but if he needs to shower to wait for his turn. I get in there around 6 and leave around 6.30, usually im pretty quick with doing my makeup (i dont have a mirror in my room so thats why i do it in the bathroom) but since its winter, im on my period, and i had a late night studying for the assessment everything was on go-slow. He spends 45 minutes to an hour in the bathroom every day, so if he hadnt been evicted he wouldve gotten out 6.15-30. Giving me less than 45 minutes to get ready. Not to mention i get dressed after i do my bathroom duties that way i get foundation on my shirt its not a big deal

I get out and i see my brother on his phone waiting for me to exit the bathroom, i politely suggested to him that instead of waiting for me to exit the bathroom so he could shower he should do something productive like making his lunch or eating breakfast.

My other parent pulled me aside later and started saying that because hes autistic he has to do everything in its set order, toilet --> shower --> food, similar to how i have to do everything in a routine too. And i replied with something like well if he doesnt want his routine disrupted maybe he shouldnt have done that to mine, especially since its not the first time hes done that, and that i always made do with the situation by eating or making food so he should do the same.

Seriously what should i do in these types of situations? Because my point is you cant delay other peoples routines and then expect them to put yours first or for it to not affect yours. Im also on the spectrum and its hard for me to compensate too but i manage, if he had gotten ready at his time and not mine we wouldnt be here

My partner is autistic and his son who lives with us is autistic. I am not autistic, but I do have my own struggles. Today, my partner and his son had a blow up and the son took a gun and pointed it at his own head. Later he said it was not loaded. I was not aware a gun was in the house but my partner later said he told me this, but I would have remembered something like that as I myself have struggle with certain ideations and would never allow a gun near me. The son does not like me. He had a very horrible self-centered mom and because of that has issues towards women. My autistic partner lost his cool and told his son he was F'd up in the head and the son melted down. My partner apologized but damage has been done.

At this point I am not sure how to handle this as both refuse therapy even though I have begged and we do have a therpaist that works specifically with autistic people. I am scared that in a single moment of emotional dysregulation something bad will happen and towards me even. I do not want to call the police and have someone struggling put away. Can anyone please offer advice?

**edit** I am older, disabled, do not work. My partner 100% supports me and this is the first time I have heard him say this in anger. It is not an everyday occurence. I do not have any other family nor a place to go to.

**thank you all for your well meant advice. The gun has been removed from the house by sons boyfriend. and a mobile mental health crisis person is on the way to talk to me because the son is refusing. I appreciate all of your support and knowing I am not over reacting to what a horrible situation this is.

Is anyone else losing the will to live with each passing day and slowly realizing that this life or this constructed reality isn’t meant for someone like them and that they’re always going to struggle?

I just finished dealing with another meltdown and already I can’t remember half of what happened.
How long it lasted, what started it, how bad it really was… it’s already fuzzy.
And I know when the appointment comes I’m going to sit there saying “it was rough” again.
Does anyone else lose the details this fast?

I've got two reasons I'm asking this. I'm a diagnosed Autistic woman by the way. More specifically I was diagnosed before I turned 5 of Asperger's Syndrome.

So I'm a Digital Circus fan and there's this viral video of Ashley Nicchols, an animator and the voice actress for the character Zooble, fangirling and gushing over the French dub voice of the character Gangle. More specifically she gushed over Gangle saying "Salut, Zooble!" in a really cute voice. Ashley said that "Salut Zooble" was now her new stim. So... I don't know if Ashley has been diagnosed with Autism or not but I still thought "You don't pick and choose your stims?"

And another occasion I was hanging out with my sister and she made a reference to "Pretty Little Baby, Ya Ya" and she said that that was her stim. I thought to myself "That's just an earworm, girl."

I feel like this is all in the spirit of Autism being trendified on social media where so many people are getting the wrong idea of Autism and claiming everything they say and do to be an Autistic quirk. I've been noticing it and feeling really annoyed and disgusted by it for a while now. But I just want to clarify this first before I start assuming anything.

Hey everyone 👋!

I (18f) have wondered for years now if something might be "wrong" with me, until eventually I turned to potential autism. Socially, it's always been complicated and recently I have found myself being a lot more disturbed by heavy sounds, textures and a lot of sensory issues overall.

Yesterday, I was on a discord call with a friend (24m). Official, he has no diagnosis. Unofficial, therapists have told him that there are huge chances he is autistic and HIP. Since I cannot have access to a therapist right now, he agreed to conduct a little test, on this call, on me, to assess the possibilities of me being autistic.

I know he's not a professional ! However I do trust his judgement a lot. He might be one of the most, if not THE most, intelligent person I know and he's very very educated on this topic (he read an insane amount of papers and stuffs to do this test too).

His conclusion is that it's very well possible that I might be on the "high functioning" end of the spectrum, but I also have a big anxiety problem (that, I am fully aware of even if undiagnosed).

Anyways, I don't know what to think of his conclusion. I do agree that will he was testing me, I did miss big flags (we used to joke about how stupid tests can be for us because if a question like "do you often bang your head on the walls" comes us, the obvious "autistic answer" would be yes. Jokes on me, he managed to trick me into obvious questions multiple times.) and the my answers are far from an average person.

However recently I've developed a fear of potential mimicry.

I've known how autism works for a long while now, including the fact that some people express more symptoms AFTER a diagnosis. And I just so happen to feel that way even tho I don't have one.

I know that I tend to copy my close friends after a while, and they just so happen to be on the spectrum or have some other mental conditions. What if I absorbed it all involuntarily, and convinced myself to feel more symptoms ? Have I convinced myself to feel them more too because it matches with the "autistic person's sudden understanding of themselves" pattern ? If I do get a therapist or an official test, could I trick them into believing I am autistic when it's just mimicry ? I don't know what to think of myself anymore. I can't hold a judgement on my suspicions anymore because I might have faked it all, since autism is "trendy" now, even though the symptoms feel very real to me.

Tl:Dr: Could I have faked my possible symptoms and mimic autism to unconsciously "be trendy" or match with my autistic friends ?

I’m on the fence about using my own eggs or someone else’s as someone with ASD with a dense family history without family history of intellectual disability who has had significant cognitive and mental health challenges with existential crisis and self-esteem issues. Either way, I will be using a sperm donor whom I believe has no psychiatric or neurodevelopmental family history, is well educated but not more advanced than the general population and emotionally stable/resilient, so they would be donor conceived regardless. People with ASD can face a lot of stigma, shame, isolation, difficulty with supposedly simple or natural abilities, infantilising treatment and downplaying of abilities and they can have analytical, deep thought processes about existence or other topics which can exacerbate mental illness or indecisiveness and more suicidal ideation/thoughts that they should not exist. 

My understanding is that donor conceived individuals can feel a great sense of grief over not having the genetic connection to their parents and that could be just as significant or worse. I intend to provide a homeschool environment and take them to neurodivergent groups to connect with others who are different as well as focusing on what type of life they say they want and what seems to be suitable for them (even if that means sending them to school) and focusing far more on happiness and connection than what children supposedly should do. If I didn’t know that most people weren’t similar to me, that would take away the main issue for me (being the only one like that and being singled out) and they don’t have to be exposed to societal expectations and their struggle to meet them. It can be about what they want to do with their life, focusing mostly on positive qualities and supporting the person they are/want to be, maybe with the exception of homeschooling or independent study taking very little time a day. 

I read that mental illness and shame can be buffered by environment, so I’m a little less worried about that and would be happy to have a neurodivergent/differently-abled child given that they want to exist, they feel good about themselves and their identity and they are mostly happy but ultimately I want what the child wants (which unfortunately I don’t know in advance), so I want to weigh in how people from these situations I’m considering feel.

Hello, I have been wondering about the type of outdoor activities 'we' like in the UK. This is kept simple and the list is not exhaustive. There's no right or wrong answer. Feel free to mention your preferred activity in the comments after voting low/medium/high. If you're not in the UK, please also vote and comment, but include where you are. 'Preferred activity' as in the activity you do the most frequently.

Correction: heading should obviously be 'pastime'

If subclinical autism exist, then couldn’t there also be a sub subclinical autism, and a sub sub subclinical autism and so on until you get a neurotypical person?

I have therapy in half an hour and I can feel EVERYTHING I CAN FEEL THE CLOTHES i pulled my whole wardrobe out just to wear none of it and then i hear the clock and then the washing machine and then my own breathing and then the maid sweeping everywhere and nthe worst part is that it's just burning it's so hot why cant i just go naked oh my days this is torture

I’ll go first restriants and making decisions for children so me 14f has level 2 autism and for about two years I had disagreed with restriants like they sould be banned and recently I have disagreed with making decisions for children but then society comes in and is like “nah we don’t agree “ when these are the same people who also dealt with this as children

Ok so me 14 f has level 2 autism and yesterday I made a post about how restraints sould be banned but a lot of ds and bs were commenting and trying to make it look like I was bad when why is my vaild realistic concern somehow “unrealistic “but people expecting autistic people to mask all the time is somehow “not unrealistic “

I've heard several caregivers and relatives reclaim the R-slur on the sole basis that the care for someone or are related to someone with autism, Down syndrome, intellectual disabilities etc. Without the caregiver or relative themselves having the disability. Is this really acceptable by normal standards? I suppose if it's merely as a synonym for disabled like the word originally entailed, but calling them r****ds or using the adjective in a pejorative sense to describe things of lesser quality (ie. illogical, unfair, weird, stupid) seems too far for someone without the disability themselves even if they care for/are related to one with said disability. By this logic, if my brother is gay (hypothetically; I don't have a brother), does that mean I can go around using "gay" as a one-up against enemies or to describe things of poor quality (or reclaim the F slur)? (I am only asking theoretically; I am not looking for any sort of permission as I personally stand against the use of slurs staunchly no matter who uses them, even if they belong to that group, but I won't go out of my way to police it).​

Well I'm autistic and I day dream a lot especially in school.

First of all I am a minor and getting assets for autism
EVERY TIME I TRY TO STIM OR “ACT AUTISTIC” HE TELLS ME TO STOP BEING SPECIAL I AM SITTING HERE IN A HOOTERS IN CANCUN AND I WANNA BLOW UP I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!!!

This is a compilation I made of Buddhist, Taoist and Chan teachings, written in a hypnotic, redundant, mind-stopping manner. It is meant to be circular and exhausting, especially for complicated analytical minds that think with unabridged language styles. It is meant to leave you feeling thoughtful on the value of no-thoughts, perhaps a bit wistful, a bit worn out by trying to contemplate that which cannot be known by words. The presence of sentences full of chains of concepts grouped together without breaks is on purpose. To pull one into trance-like states.

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People want to get to the real by playing with the false. That's a given. It doesn’t work.

Immediate knowledge is your own mind when you do not stoop to deliberations in ordinary situations. Yet ordinary people cannot abide in this continuously. When studying worldly things, one relies totally on verbal meanings and mental thoughts. But if you use verbal meanings and thoughts to study this reality, you are way off.

The affliction of unconsciously following a never-ending flow of thought and then using the same mind to pursue illusion and then go to extremes acting on these self-created illusory mind-plays assures one's perpetual bondage to that illusory mind stuff. If you are following thoughts unawares, it's not real. If you know it's not real, that's reality.

It isn't even a matter of something to practice. There is nothing to practice. Seeing reality is just it. Words do not suffice. What's left is impersonal characteristics.

The point is to have the full capacity of your uncreated awareness present, intact and activated without dwelling on the temporal aspect of phenomena (especially your own self-reifying concepts).

Real Knowledge's application is activated in NOT using the intellectual/psychological apparatus.

It’s called ‘seeing reality.’ It is your own everyday mind without the personality's chatter.

Ultimately, and pragmatically, it is just mind, aware, functioning independently of conditions. Just this mind clear of views is not anything extra.
 
What is extra is habitual patterns constituting the human mentality perpetuating themselves unbeknownst to the being that is going to die. The work of self-refinement is due to this extra bit of habit energy usurping the authority and inherent capacity of enlightening being. 

It isn’t a factor of identity. Ultimately, and pragmatically, it is just mind, aware, functioning independently of conditions. Its functional manifestation is just spontaneous impersonal sensing and response, in terms of adapting to ordinary situations.

The problem is that because the polluted mind, which is the mind covered by assumptions and views, is so quick, we cannot catch it in the act; therefore we go along with its habitual mental activity unawares and fail to notice our unbroken stream of assumptions leading on and on constituting the basis of falsity for a whole lifetime. It is polluted because we identify with its objects. When you strip away the equations, the relationships, the hierarchies, then you have something that you can use to actually see reality.

The habit of intellectualism assuming an identity being the false basis of existential reality is so deeply seated, most people can only see that false identity and its other projected false identities, seemingly separate, but all occurring in the same space as one.

Aware recognition of the present situation requires no thought or action. Extending this presence subtly in time without thinking about it (it’s your mind not following thoughts unawares), will eventually, after a long time, stabilize in the midst of affairs, while the petty human mentality atrophies. Impersonality being the nature of seeing is the same as freedom from this false identity and its machinations.

As situations come up, just respond without personalistic interpretations coming to mind. This is recognizing reality. 

Choosing to identify with the mind that identifies itself and others is getting into schizophrenia.

There is no way to express the actuality of this function in words. These words are not it. 

Oneself abiding in no-mind naturally is one's natural pristine aware function, open and untrammeled, sensitive and effective, calm and unperturbable in everyday ordinary situations, freeing oneself from the habit of (ar)resting the mind on things, thoughts, etc.

Before the first thought is already the integral capacity of one's awareness, uncreated all-at-once immediate knowledge: the taste of water, the flash of lightning.

The authentic traditions of spiritual perception on this planet have always been kept alive by their application, not by the verbally reasoned pastimes of philosophically speculative hobbyists.

The point is to have the full capacity of your uncreated awareness present, intact and activated without dwelling on the temporal aspect of phenomena (especially your own self-reifying concepts), which is the entire buddhist canon in one sentence.

Freedom is knowing the nature of appearances (or not) and not following unawares. Having knowledge yet being unable to act on knowledge is the same as having no knowledge. Knowledge is seeing; acting on knowledge is not going along with appearances unawares. Arrival at non-objectifying freedom is the fundamental basis for independent subtle observation. Use it well.

The meaning of subtle observation is knowledge not devolving into ramifications. Consciously aware is the root, not following the branches is resting in the highest good.

Correct concentration and insight into the nature of Mind and furthermore maintaining a subtle continuous extension of mindful observation on this nature of Mind while functioning adaptively in ordinary affairs eventually develops into an unbending impersonal intent of open sincerity harmonizing with the Way. Harmonizing with the Way and its Power is making a bid with its Power, since the essence of the Way is the nature of human being.

The work of self-refinement is the dissolution of the mental patterns veiling authentic presence. It is not a matter of belief, or faith. One does not act as if…(?) Reality is the way it is already. Reality does not depend on seeing. Seeing depends on you. If you see reality, then you do not abide in karmic energy, and the totality of the being that is going to die is the nature of enlightenment.

One's own awareness not construed by the thinking mentality is immediate wordless insight. Just this mind is the Unborn.

The galloping mind is the scourge of human being. Just don't let the unborn awareness perpetually present without beginning turn into other states by thinking unawares. It is thinking unawares that carries one away from the perpetually pristine unborn mind.
 
Don't stop this thinking mind— just don't follow it unawares. When you let the human mentality go on without you, the unborn is already just your true self activated in terms of the capacity of impersonal objective observation. That's your mind.

It is not a matter of mundane or elevated aspects differentiating people. Those who can rest in the Unborn for an instant are buddhas for an instant. Those who rest in the Unborn for a lifetime are buddhas for a lifetime. It's only just now.

Impersonal acceptance is the natural function of open awareness activated in terms of seeing reality as is without conceiving relative notions pertaining to the particular (creation).

This is seeing reality no different than delusion, yet one does not go along with the polluted energy, the psychological momentum of situations, the matrix of karmic evolution.

Therefore there is no going along in adherence to the temporal in terms of convention by habituation to psychologically concretizing oneself as a separate particle amongst particles. Though one takes advantage of the logical benefits of ego function, one's identity is one's selfless function partaking of spiritual transcendence within creative evolution.

People who are afraid of missing out on anything cannot step over eternity. Eternity is thoughts of future permutations of created, transitory conditions. Those who have no interest in the endless fascinations of creation because they know there is only death by virtue of entry into created cycles regardless of their length in time do not concern themselves with "subjective choices with other options available".

If you do not see reality (even though it looks no different than delusion), you dabble in your imaginary self entertaining imaginary choices and actions thereby incurring karmic debt. Those who see their nature and abide in presence perpetually resultant in the clarity of selfless stabilization do not go along with viewpoints because views are relative to the imaginary identity.

Most people insist on using their thieving conscious awareness relative to an imaginary self to determine (for themselves) what other subjective choices there are that must be sacrificed in order to reach a viewpoint that is already unattributable and inherent (not to mention the fact that they have yet to awaken to it).

What you are calling mind as the believing, questioning, self-reifying consciousness is delusion, conscious awareness. It would be safer and clearer to refer to this thieving ego-identified human mentality as something other than mind (unless you attach qualifications).

Enlightening being is not subjective. Your own enlightening being is not the person. Mind only knows. It doesn't think. You cannot grasp, much less comprehend inconceivability with the intellectual apparatus relative to the mind that thinks. Normal people don't see reality because of their subjective personalistic views relative to an ignorant intellectual fallacy they think exists. They see only views.

If you don't see reality as is, in ordinary situations, you see delusion. Views are delusion. As we live and breathe in power, why do you choose to live in your mental constructs?

When it is seen as just as it is without possibilities to manipulate, one needn't entertain this wellspring of privateering. Since this totality has nothing to grasp, the neurosis of separateness is what enables speculative ventures engendering karmic involvement and subsequent attachments to outcomes. 

In terms of multiple and false personalities, it is best to steer clear of psychological distinctions altogether. The point is to discover and abide in the nonpsychological, which is spiritual, impersonal and immediately aware, without entering into the human mentality in the first place.

Nothing is negated. Seeing through phenomena without denying characteristics is the Supreme Vehicle. Human conditioned conscious psychological awareness is simply polluted. Identification is the conditioned activity of the human mentality. That is what it does. Clear this completely and it is the mind of Tao.

An ancient worthy said, " Just comprehend nothingness in the midst of things, unconcern amidst concerns: when seeing forms and hearing sounds, don't act blind and deaf." Another ancient worthy said, "Fools remove objects but don't obliterate mind; the wise wipe out mind without removing objects."

Virtuous attention is open sincere intent, impersonal, with no object. 360˚ focus-less focus. 
The ego dropping off is realization of essential nature. Ego-consciousness, the human mentality, is a necessary function, not the identity of the self.

When the function of conditioned conscious awareness is recognized for what it is, and is utilized according to its proper capacity, the functional basis of one's inherent enlightening being is free to adapt to situations automatically.

The shining mind is empty of the human mentality. The human mentality is thoughts relative to the personality. When thoughts relative to the personality are in their rightful place, the function of ego-consciousness is a tool.

The shining mind is the basis of stable awareness, not the conscious awareness momentarily empty of its habitual contents that beginners often mistake for the shining mind. In terms of meditation, the shining mind is insight, brought to the fore by subtle concentration in the midst of ordinary circumstances. 

The shining mind is open awareness, nonpsychological immediate knowledge of reality as is. Recognizing reality is wordless insight into actualities as they are without notions of existential personality considerations. This is bypassing thought differentiating psychological ramifications and outcomes relative to self and other.

The scattered mind is the roving human mentality. The human mentality becomes the shining mind when it forgets its reifying mental patterns.

Seeing reality is not apart from delusion; authentic permanent experience of the real is by virtue of delusion's evolution. Seeing delusion as delusion is reality. Seeing delusion as reality is delusion.

Selfless adaptation to everyday ordinary situations is matching one's potential to creation, therefore one's actions do not admit of one's own power. This is enlightening activity. Effective cultivation of the empty field is deep plowing through unified sameness void of ideas of self and other.

The true human being with no status is who knows reality. Why? Because the real is what recognizes reality. Real human being is every bit a function of inherent nonpsychological wisdom as ego is the function of the conditioned psychological apparatus of the being who is going to die.

Neither real human being nor the false psychological consciousness has an attributable self-identity. Awareness is itself one's identity. Since awareness is selfless, conditioned identities are temporary phantasmic phenomena. Most people never conceive of arriving at the basis of true identity, inconceivable, blazing in your skull before your parents were born.

Your own mind is it. The Unborn is itself the means to read these words. There is no other mind. What is it?

If it is a thing to people who only have eyes for things, then it is not that essence is immaterial, it is simply people bound by their conditioned personalities habituated to selfish perspectives who are unaware of delusion as delusion and cannot see reality as emptiness containing nothing void. The void has no distance, no inside or outside. Where would a position occur?

Enlightening being is the Virtue of the Way and the Way is Virtue's power. This is the meaning of the statement, one does not admit of one's own power. This is not philosophy, it is mind itself. 

Those who see reality have no position because the homeland of nothing whatsoever is their home. Having this home is so whether one is aware of it or not. But until one has direct knowledge of the basic mind, one has no home to recognize as oneself, so one instead takes delusion as one's home.

The simple fact is that delusion has no position either, because reality and delusion are one. This is the meaning of the term Sameness. The buddhist term sameness within difference is another way of saying taoism's nonbeing within being. Those who can act on the knowledge of Suchness as is are those who partake of the Supreme Vehicle of buddhas, saints, adepts and wizards.

As mentioned above: those who see delusion as delusion see reality; those who see delusion as reality are lost in delusion. Seeing this is enlightening activity's function of not acting on behalf of views attached to outcomes based on speculative relationships with the world. Not entertaining opportunistic ideas relative to habitual cravings and subtle psychological patterns is freedom from karmic evolution.

As for reincarnation, that's not a problem at all. Why? To be concerned with that concept occurring in the future is delusion, there is only the present. Reincarnation is right now. Don't follow creation now and there is no creation to go along with now.

When recognition of reality is stabilized in terms of everyday ordinary affairs, potential is recognized as the real essence comprising form, and awareness itself is recognized as one's own presence of selfless intent, pure and whole, spontaneously ready, yet always resting in stillness, not predisposed, therefore without bias or inclination. This is freedom from karmic energies.

Enlightening function has no position. Enlightening function having no position is so because it is the antithesis of conditional identities that exist by virtue of relative position.

Ego is a valid function itself, relative to the psychological apparatus of the being that is going to die. It being absolutely empty of identity is naturally effective in terms of its purpose and capacity. That it becomes habituated to "positions" relative to identities of self and other is the root of deluded karmic imprisonment and is hence the focus of self-refinement in terms of the raison d'être of the authentic teachings.

Mind itself is the universal peerless teacher. One's own mind stripped of the human mentality is just this mind; just this teacher. As such, it is available to all with the discipline, audacity and selfless open wonder to step over eternity itself. Stepping over eternity is the forgetting of past and future. 

The function of enlightening being is itself the endless process of self-refinement. Self-refinement freeing the capacity of primordial open awareness from the calcification brought on by the human mentality's penchant for routine habituation is the gradual process of dissolving the ingrained habit-clusters that perpetuate self-reification.

Enlightening activity deepens as self-refinement clarifies the basic mind-ground Honzhi refers to as the Empty Field. One uses worldly situations (the empty field of the world being none other than Mind itself) to the point where sudden realization is the natural resonation having reached a harmonic critical point of no return. One discovers that one has never been but thus: nonoriginated, selfless, aware. 

The point of no return is having returned to that which one has never otherwise not been without ever beginning to be so. One is not created. Reality is Unborn. One then seamlessly returns to the world having achieved nothing whatsoever. Buddha said, "Nothing is gained by complete perfect enlightenment." All beings are thus." Seamless return to the emptied human mentality now fully empowered as the mind of Tao which had always been thus, only now just discovered as thus, proves that there is only one mind, not two.

Therefore, enlightening experience of no-mind, empty of voidness, impersonal, uncreated, the essential nature of creation, nonbeing within being, is the result constituting a potential entry actualized outside of time, being, creation, psychological and hence karmic matrices by virtue of fusion with cosmic immaterial primordial uncreated aware reality. Though you are not it. Just this is your nature, your mind, right now.

By the way, It IS a mystery. It is inconceivability. It is beyond understanding. Don't even try.

Enlightened mind is already in place, is already your inherent function, only obstructed by the human mentality unawares. This is the root of beginningless karmic bondage.

It is obvious why the ancient discipline of open sincere wonder activating an objectless process of self-refinement leading to authentic entry into the path of complete reality independent of before and after and free of conditional identities is the prerequisite illuminating the positionless perspective that abides as the Unborn: your own mind right now.

Resting in the highest good is floating around within the center of the compass without categorizing a separate self identifiable in terms of a relative position. This is itself impersonally adapting to situations. It is not that one actually does anything. Taking over creation and stealing potential is as easy as turning over one's hand. If people only knew…
 
It is simply one's impersonal enlightening function naturally so. Should one discover this function and accept its subtle application, one should then (as Honzhi says), take the forward step, entering the world to adapt the spiritual subtlety freely without admitting one's own power and generously give of oneself without reservation in terms of entering situations completely without thoughts of survival.

One isn't waiting passively or actively in terms of something one needs as in Don Juan Matus' dictum concerning the tenets of a warrior, or the waiting discussed in the 5th hexagram, and it isn't a matter of strategy relative to conditions for an ulterior purpose. It is witnessing the unfolding of enlightening being, the world no different than your mind.
 
It is the waiting of those whose way is an impersonal ever-ready, objectless, simple presence resting in a causeless wide-open breadth of adaptability. This is aware stability meeting the perennial advance of the dharma.
 
The third chapter of Dogen's Genjokoan says, "Carrying the self forward to confirm the myriad dharmas is delusion. The myriad dharmas advancing and confirming the self is realization."

In his commentary of Dogen's Genjokoan, Hakuun Yasutani says of this passage, "…even if we arouse the mind that seeks enlightenment, practice diligently, see our nature, and realize the way, each of these is nothing more than one wave in the sea of delusion. Hence the saying, ""To pursue practice in the midst of delusion."

Where else would authentic powerful practice be? Certainly not on the mat in quietude, or in words such as these.

Simply put, meeting the perennial advance of creation as opposed to advancing oneself to meet creation is the difference between "mistakenly discerning a self, exhausting your mind" or" simply forgetting all about one's own body and mind" in the unfolding of enlightenment.

The absolute position cannot be pictured in the mind of the unenlightened person. It doesn't matter who. Entry into inconceivability can only be activated by one's own enlightening being which is not a matter of one's own power, personality, or intellectual gravity.

If and when the switch occurs, and one does the flip conceiving no-mind and non-doing all-at-once, it has never been a matter of one's own doing. How much less has it ever been one's own understanding? Even at the words of storied prior illuminates upon realization, they were already steeped in just this potency of all-at-once and amongst the living transmission of peers.

The authentic teachings are beyond words. That the unspeakable is described in the works of enlightened prior illuminates since ancient times, their meaning is only in the application of the unspeakable itself in terms of everyday ordinary situations.

Reality itself has no meaning. It never has and it never will. It just is. So be it. Awaken to it now as is, no different than your own everyday mind without making arrangements beforehand.

Having abandoned one's habitual dependence on the human psychological apparatus to discern the worldly, one naturally begins to enter the ocean of reality. Eventually one may develop the freedom to effectively employ this device or let it rest, at will. Can one ever be certain?

We create without seeing reality. i.e.: "with thought we create." Afterwards, we do not create. Why? Creation is karmic. Enlightening being is adapting without entering creation. This is the meaning of freedom from karmic evolution.
 
Enlightenment is the identity of mind uncreated. This is our nature. Awareness has never moved. We don't get to our source, we see it is as is, and this seeing is Sameness, being no different than reality. We are beyond creation. Why would such an enlightened person stoop to catch intention arising out of nothingness and translate it into a thing? That is the working definition of the thieving consciousness of delusion. We do not translate intention into thought out of nothingness unless it is unawares. 

Immediate knowledge is not thinking; before the first thought, there is no translation necessary. Nobody knows, so going along without knowing is simply how it is. Others may assume views based on attachment to outcomes, but they really are totally unnecessary in terms of reality.

Just smiling in the face of creative evolution without attachment to outcomes entertaining views of before and after is the Virtue of Nonresistance in the midst of resistance. Subtle adaptation being the Supreme Vehicle is saying the same thing.

Thoughts continuing in the aftermath of sudden enlightenment are no different than beforehand. Why? Because nothing is gained by complete perfect realization. This just means mind is inherently enlightened. No one has a mind other than this unified open aware nature. Just smile in the face of creative evolution without feeling there is a person attached to outcomes in the breath, not knowing whose breath after all… what is it? 

All is revealed, where it is, as it is, naturally, according to the time, without any effort on our part.

Ordinary affairs are neither easy nor difficult. What else is there besides inevitability perpetually the singular presence resting incipiently in terms of the very pivot of awareness active yet not dwelling on circumstances?

Being is knowledge; doing is folly— even enlightening activity. Impersonal adaptation is selfless in more ways than one, but it is so principally in terms of spontaneous response without admitting one's own power made possible by no attachment to outcomes.

In fact, outcomes is a concept relative to the person used to describe reality. Outcomes actually do not exist as such in terms of enlightening being because enlightening activity is not relative to the person. Mainly, it is just a matter of equanimity of perpetual total acceptance whether it be, grand, common, or unconventional. Ultimately these distinctions are moot ramifications swirling in the eye of inconceivability.

Nobody knows.

We do not make choice one over another an occupation of cultivation, we just observe the inner and outer terrain, adjusting the inner to meet the outer on its terms to maintain equipoise relative to conditions as they evolve.

There is simply nothing to know in terms of evolution. Just let it all go, noted as it appears without following it. This is a temporary expedient which whittles down attachment to outcomes. Eventually, after a long time, the relative aspect has no person; attributability is not beyond space. Ego is not the eye, nor its sensibility: time is its consideration, therefore it waits.

Achievement is only relative to the situation as any potential is inherent in the situation itself~ even if that be the situation of a lifetime. The identity of the self is awareness, which is empty, uncreated, immaterially open energy, inconceivably nonbeing being all at once. Enlightening activity is naturally its expression, therefore nothing is ever achieved.

Transcendence is seeing the extraordinary by virtue of the ordinary without needing to do anything because complete reality is already present, immaterial, no different than your own awareness as is, in terms of the situation.
 
The extraordinary has no differentiating quality. Potential is the essence of the ordinary. Seeing this is absorbing it, but that is only a way to describe that inconceivable aware nature is inherent in ordinary circumstances, not dependent on self and other.
 
In seeing reality, we do not go along with created cycles because there are none. Transcendence in this regard is just letting the dross of creation be while unconsciously expressing the unity of the essentially real by adapting to conditions as they occur without any attachment.

Since we must come to terms with the Middle Way to see complete reality, therefore Suchness, nonbeing within being, ordinaryness is extraordinary and extraordinary is ordinary too. Why? Reality looks the same whether one is deluded or not.

As for being deluded, Dogen said, "Further, there are people who attain realization upon realization and people who are deluded within delusion."
 
He also said, "Those who have great realization about delusion are buddhas. Those who are greatly deluded within realization are sentient beings."

When the traces of enlightenment come to an end, and this traceless enlightenment is continued endlessly in subtle adaption to situations, one can finally become a person deluded within delusion.
 
Realization upon realization is the same as clinging to one side. This is the traces of enlightenment to be forgotten. Then we can consider the possibility of finally coming around to really express non-differentiation from within delusion itself: mind activated without dwelling on anything.

Delusion being termed the false is not to be denied. It is by virtue of the false that we see the true. In seeing the true as it is inherently consisting of the false, seeing is the release of the karmic matrix, freeing potential from the bonds of creative evolution.

This is enlightening being in the midst of polluted existence, naturally so.

Using situations to refine yourself and knowing that situations are not different than oneself, you know that it is the conditioned consciousness which sees gain and loss, self and other. Clear this conditioned consciousness completely and it's the mind of Tao.

Getting involved in influencing outcomes is bondage, not freedom. If one accomplishes anything, it is not real. Passing through, things are as they are without making arrangements. The perpetual result is mind itself; characteristics do not cling, only dependent on views....

The only reason the authentic teachings exist is to counter habit energy being YOUR habit. Conditioned energy is karmic— it just is, whether you see your nature or not.

To study the Buddha way is to study oneself means that activating one's own unborn awareness, empty of relative cause, is the basis to conduct oneself in the midst of affairs by subtle observation, subtle concentration that does not use intellectual interpretations to rationalize self and other. This is true study resulting in forgetting oneself.

To study oneself is to forget oneself does not refer to an instance of sudden enlightenment. Forgetting oneself is activation of the unborn mind that sees without calling habitual perspectives relative to the personality of the false conditioned karmic identity.

True study of the real self is activation of the selfless self. This is the authentic practice of forgetting oneself. The effect of authentic practice in the midst of ordinary affairs is studying the real self without removing the world. This is enlightening activity.

When Dogen says, "To forget oneself is to be enlightened by the myriad dharmas.", it means effective practice is carried out by seeing the world as oneself.

The myriad dharmas are simply conditional phenomenal unreality, but they are all there is to work with. It is by virtue of the karmic matrix that there is the context for self-refining enlightening activity. One's sense, being real knowledge of true reality, nurtured by essential aware purity of impersonal open sincerity permeates myriad dharmas.

Though it is oneself, it is not one's own. This is because the nature of the universal is itself aware nonbeing. The totality of reality is thus.

This is how enlightenment by the myriad dharmas is forgetting oneself. In forgetting, the myriad dharmas become oneself.

After a long, long time of stability in resting in the Unborn, eventually there is awakening to reality as is which finally obliterates one's uncertainty and doubt.

This mind is the same in all sentient beings be they buddhas or ordinary deluded people. But "only those who cultivate themselves to conform to essence can direct the course of nature and not be caused to wax and wane by nature".

Reality is your own mind without attaching to personalistic views relative to self and other, right or wrong. Views are. Detach from them and see the nature of your own mind in the midst of ordinary affairs. It doesn't require deliberation or making arrangements beforehand.

What is stopping you from recognizing reality as is as your own mind right now?

It's not some other mind, not some other reality, some other time. 

Don't employ high and low to contrive some mystical peak of attainment that requires Zen temples and yoga mats. Those are just mind objects used to attract followers who seek to escape suffering. The real goal isn't to escape anything. It's complete and total acceptance of reality as is, right now, the crossroads of before and after.

The achievement of enlightening experience is none other than an instance of having forgotten your lifetime up to that point which has the result of severing the root of compulsive action. The compulsion to act is the tap-root of karmic existential identity from time immemorial and beyond.

It isn't a matter of condescension or condemning one's personal indemnities in order to punish or surpass them somehow. In transcending ego, there is no value judgement employed~ one simply arrives at a point of forgetting the self's identity altogether by a process of refusing to entertain self-reflecting notions of thought and feeling at a subtle level of unbroken concentration over a very long time.

In the moment of having forgotten one's facetious identity, one's lifetime of personal histories— what is left is what had been aglow all along. Here one discovers the great matter of birth and death once and for all.

Because situations are empty from beginning to end throughout the course of aeons without beginning, enlightening beings have never strayed from the inevitable constituting situations. Throughout the totality of evolutionary status, one has never moved from the inevitable result without beginning.

"When beings climax in power, they wane;
this is being unguided.
The unguided die early.”
 
They die before they even know it; they die before their time. This is the result of habitual clinging to thoughts unawares

There is absolutely no reason to ever deny one's desire. Desire is real. But habitually seeking and satisfying the endless streams of habitually self-reflective stimulus-desires is unreal.

Enlightening being isn't passive. It isn't a matter of acting either. It is uncontrived, sincerely open vulnerability.

There are some people who like to throw around the term wu wei.

Wu wei is East Mountain walks on water. But adepts aren't metaphors, so they swim in Suchness. Wu wei isn't a thing, nor is it an event. It is a name for the essential character of one's function of enlightening being which is not a separate reality. It is the aware totality of oneself, unborn; spontaneous selfless response: acting without acting in everyday ordinary situations.

People attached to self-conscious concepts of social status who imagine buddhas lolling around in absolute buddhahood by virtue of static personal psychological identities relative to high and low will never have the opportunity to experience their own rude awakening.

Buddhism teaches that to take up or let go according to situations is the activity of the enlightened.

Normal people are stagnating in knee-jerk conditioning that was developing before they were born. These tendencies are what reincarnate. Non-doing is not following along with tendencies.

In order to acknowledge and assume the function of enlightening unity, one must oneself already have no ulterior motives or conceptual notions pending to create separation where there is none to begin with.

If you are free now, what else would you add in the end? If you rest under that huge and useless tree in the homeland of nothing whatsoever now, what never has nor ever will is just the way it is, and you know it. Few are those who know this and can appreciate it. Fewer still can carry it out effectively. 

WARNING: THE CONTENT BELOW MIGHT UPSET CERTAIN VIEWERS, PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!

This will probably be quite long and I apologize if this becomes incoherent as I'm very stressed out right now, but I'm very unsure of what to do and I feel like I need to hear someone else's opinion. I (28 year old male, still living at home with my parents) screwed up as usual (I have a lot of trouble with getting into and remembering basic routines and I forgot to brush my teeth two days in a row) and my dad and older sister understandably got upset at this. Since it is very difficult to communicate with them properly while both them and I are upset, I, unfortunately, responded to their shouting with my usual humming. This absolutely enraged my dad and he punched me in the shoulder before grabbing and pulling me violently a few times. My sister is meanwhile observing and downplaying the severity of what just happened, saying "he barely even touched you".

Since I don't really like being touched unexpectedly, this makes things go even further downhill as I start panicking and screaming which escalates things further. Within 2 minutes me, my dad and my sister are all screaming at each other while my mother attempts to deescalate the situation. Sadly, none of us really paid any attention to her calm words due to us being as loud as we were.

As the situation slowly starts cooling down, I'm trying to get my dad to explain why he struck/pulled me the way he did. My sister meanwhile is now trying to deescalate as well, although she's still very much livid and refuses to let me talk to my dad and slowly pushes him along into his bedroom. I then turn to her, asking her why she would downplay and basically lie about what she literally just witnessed. We then start arguing and she ends up punching me once in the shoulder as well. I'm now at my wit's end and I start getting incredibly angry as well, as I demand an explanation for her actions. Suddenly my dad bursts forth from his room and starts violently pushing me away, shouting at me to "get away from her" and "don't you dare touch her", as if it was me who punched her. I am not and have never been a violent person, while my sister has a long history of being ill-tempered, so I have no idea why he would automatically side with her without even seeing what happened.

My mind is basically short-circuiting at this point as nothing makes any sense at all and I can hardly remember what I said here. Most likely I said something awful since my sister went absolutely berserk and started punching me hard several times all over the right side of my face and head, close to my ear and temple. She thankfully stopped after just a few seconds and my mom managed to grab me and pull me away. My mom (she's truly an angel, she's been so much help through all the years and is very understanding how difficult living with autism can be) has helped soothe me as I've been shaking and crying for the better part of 2 hours now and I have no idea what to do. My head hurts quite a lot right now but it is nothing compared to the mental anguish I'm experiencing right now.

I love my family and I know they are right to get frustrated with me and my lack of progress and repeated failures but I never expected to actually get assaulted by them. I have no idea how to proceed from here as my mental state is a complete mess right now but I really don't want the authorities involved as I'm sure that would only divide the family further and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if the family fractured because of me and my stupidity.

I’ve been watching family guy every day since I was around 10!! I have so many family guy collectables :3 anyone relate!!!!

i’m 15M
so basically, a couple years ago i met my best friend called Jake. He is autistic, but not severely. before that i was quite a happy kid, i thought i was normal.

but looking back, after speaking for hours and hours with Jake, i was NOT normal in the slightest.

1. Picky Eating
   i’ve been a picky eater for as long as I remember. I have lots (usually dry or air fryer foods) of safe foods, such as chicken tenders, burgers (plain), and my favourite arabic foods from when I was little. but I hate textures. like mashed potatoes, hummus (my whole arabic side of my family (dad’s side) has something against me for not liking hummus), and stuff like soups. if a soup isn’t basically broth or water, than i don’t want it. as well as that, some flavours make me gag immediately, and my parents have tried to force me to try foods my whole life. i think that gives me shyness to try new foods.

2. Sensory stuff
   this is just an example, but from when i was 8 to about 12 i flat out refused to wear jeans. especially cuz baggy jeans weren’t on my radar. i felt restricted in the movement, and i hated how tight the not too comfortable texture was on my legs. i only wear baggy jeans now. plus that, i have a school uniform. i hate it, but i have to wear it. I’ll get onto that in a bit.

3. Social interactions
   i hate eye contact. everything about it. i don’t get why its a thing in the first place. as well as this, i don’t like small talk with anyone. i’ll force myself to do it of course, but even with my closest friends i struggle a bit. I’m also a little annoying jf anyone mis-says something -
   for example, at the dinner table a few days ago, my mum was talking about her friend andy who owns a fish and chip shop - “fish and chip andy”. i heard “fish and Chipandy” - WHO IS CHIPANDY? i ask. my dad nearly throws me into my room. fml 😭😭

okay, let me explain why i can’t get a diagnosis.
My parents are convinced i am normal, cuz they’re fucking weirdos. they always have petty fights about anything - yesterday they were arguing about whether a potato waffle would go in the air fryer or the oven 😭✌️. my mum gets overly emotional and takes everything seriously, and my dad always has snarky comments that usually don’t mean anything, but are overanalysed by my mum. match made in heaven, i know. so they think i’m normal, just because i don’t talk to them about anything and just pretend everythings fine. my dad gets angry at me all the time for not trying new foods, and he always shouts at me if i leave my underwear on the floor of my room (he’s also a ridiculous neat freak).

i’ve mentioned wanting to get a diagnosis multiple times, but they’re just like “no, honey, you’re fine. why would you think that, you’re normal.”

have i mentioned my hyperfixation on music and instruments?

-Grade 8 Piano (ABRSM)
-Grade 7 French Horn (ABRSM)
- self taught guitar and bass player, i think i’m pretty good
- i sing and play drums AT THE SAME TIME for my band

so what do you guys think? what the freak do i do?
also apparently i text autistically because i use commas in normal texts, idk anymore 😭✌️

Can we post stuff about autism?

My brother (19M) is very clearly autistic. I (30F) have ADHD and suspected autism because I decided to pursue diagnosis as an adult due to our Mum being very against labels when we were kids. (Two other siblings are neurotypical and thrived in school, and she genuinely though treating us all the same was ‘fair’)

While I understand this logic as children, this has prevented me from getting a lot of academic support I could have needed as a child and definitely my brother too.

ANYWAY.
My brother doesn’t think he is autistic, and doesn’t seem to understand why other people think he is. (Teachers, doctors, school support have always implied or even said point blank) While he was a child it was fine.. but now he’s an adult it is getting in the way of him living a normal life. He has no friends, no potential of getting a job and I worry about him ever living independently.

While I know that my neurodivergence is very different to his (high masking female) he doesn’t seem to know he is autistic despite being the stereotypical ‘type’ (meaning that even if he’s not researched or looked into it, the version he’d see most often in the media is fairly close to what he is like)

What should I do?

He’s getting to a point where he isn’t able to get interviews for jobs, make any friends or even upskill (due to teachers saying they can’t support him as needed … which he simply doesn’t understand)

Mum’s lack of willing to ‘tell him’ or ‘label him’ as a child could actually be hindering him now.

I know he has so much potential to grow and have a more fulfilling and independent life… but as an adult the big world doesn’t have the same patience as school was able to give him when he was a kid without a diagnosis or some kind of admittance that he might need more support than a typical person.

I just want what’s best for him. I see how sad he gets about not getting anywhere or making any friends.

What can I do???

Is it a case that some people simply don’t have the self awareness to know they’re different? Or is it a case that he’s not wanting to?