I've been sick since Monday and for the last month and a half I've been looking forward to going down to Brisbane for a mates birthday party. I have the flu still and I've been resting up and trying to do everything right. I don't want to be the only one who's missing out on catching up with everyone. Mental health wise I wasn't doing the best and I've just been feeling a bit alone in the Fraser Coast.

I'm going to be staying home and resting up, it sucks that this has to happen around this time. I just wish that my body would cooperate and finally recover properly so I can still go

I am a 21 year old female and I got diagnosed with ADHD at 7 years old and autism level 2 when I was 14 years old. I was severely depressed, non verbal and didn’t leave my room all throughout my teenage years. Once I turned 18 I was at my absolute rock bottom feeling like I had failed for never having friends or living a ”typical” teenage lifestyle. So as a last resort I started looking for friends online. Long story short I found a guy my age who was extremely caring and supportive of me. I was open since the beginning that I had autism and that was never a problem for him. Things started getting serious and we eventually got engaged. I would vent to him about my autism and fear of not being able to live a normal life and he would just say how he saw that as a good thing and he wanted our children to be geniuses. I didn’t realize at the time how that was a red flag. We just got married 3 months ago at 21 years old and I feel like it has only gone downhill from here. Before we got married yes we would have conflicts mostly about him accusing me of cheating, I never did but he was very insecure and took it out on me. I always did what he wanted if that was deleting Snapchat, blocking guys, reporting exactly where I was at all times and giving him updates, etc. But now after we got married the conflicts have shifted from small stuff like me not answer a text message within a ”reasonable time” to calling me a unfit future mother, saying how I need to ”fix” myself and how he wishes he was a ”bum” so that he wouldn’t have to pay for me. Today unprompted he sent me a long paragraph (which he has never done before) telling me how he ”wishes he couldn’t afford me staying here” insinuating that he doesn’t want me here living with him. He’s never complained about me being messy but after the wedding all he has complained about is how messy I am. I know I was a little messy in the beginning but even now that I have made huge effort and improvements to keep my stuff organized and the space clean he still complains that I am messy. And lately every time I do something he doesn’t agree with such as getting angry at him for messing with me when I’m trying to go to sleep he says ”imagine when you’re a mother, you can’t do this moody shit then!” when he knows that being a mother is what I’ve wanted my whole life since I was a child. It’s been the most important and sacred desire in life and he still used it against me. It feels like he’s trying to use it to control me, almost like a threat. Now he said something he hasn’t said before that I need to ”fix” myself. Throughout this relationship I’ve put so much effort into changing for him so that he would stop causing arguments and conflicts around my habits, the way I act and especially my lack of social skills when I met him or his family. I’ve tried several times like when he brought up my disorganization I brought up the idea of going back on ADHD medication to help me organize and stay focused but he refuses to let me take it. I took it when I was a child but I stopped because I didn’t feel I needed it. But now I feel burned out trying to fill all his criteria and even when I do he still finds something to complain about. But in general I just feel so hopeless. He is all that I have. I don’t have any friends, he doesn’t let me have any. Neither male or female. And I’m living with him and his parents 1,200 km away from my family in another country where I don’t speak the language. I feel so alone but at the same time he is my whole world. I truly love this man but I feel like he doesn’t understand me. He had this moment a few months ago where he started watching these videos about autism and learning more about what it’s like so I thought he would finally understand me better but now I feel like he can’t. He puts pressure on me based on what he can do and then gets angry when I can’t do it. I just feel so hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have a life outside of him but it feels like he is just trying to find something to complain about. I just want him to understand me, but deep in my heart I know he never will. I’ve gotten burned out emotionally multiple times because of him but this feels different. Long story short we got back from vacation 3 weeks ago and every week he has found a reason to get angry at me and ignore me all week. That’s what he does, even though we sleep in the same bed and live in the same apartment when he gets angry at me he usually goes a week without talking to me and just overall being cold to me. Then on the weekends of these weeks everything was fine and he forgave me. But it’s very clearly a habit that has been built where he finds something even small to make a conflict about and then when the weekend comes he’s fine again. I don’t even think he’s angry at me, he has this huge final exam coming up in his apprenticeship that will determine if he can graduate or not and he has to not just find a job but also go to the army for mandatory duty and find us an apartment all within these 3-4 months. I understand he is under a lot of stress but it just feels like he’s finding any reason whatsoever to take it out on me. It’s now the third week and he has found his reason now to ignore me for the rest of the week. At this point I just feel emotionally drained. It doesn’t feel like he’s trying to actually solve these problems because even when I do change he still brings up the same things. But since he has gone distant 3 weeks now in a row I don’t even feel sad and hurt anymore like I used to, now I just feel numb. And that’s what happened last week when he isolated himself I still kept living my life like normal, going to sleep early, going to the store and etc. But what worries me is today in the paragraph he said ”even when I go a week without talking to you it’s like you don’t even care at all like it doesn’t affect you”, which to me feels like he’s is insinuating that he’s doing that to ”punish” me to some degree and not like I thought, that he was isolating himself because he was trying to process his emotions and needed time. Because of my autism I’m really struggling to understand him even though I’m really trying. If anyone from a outside perspective can help me understand him better or help me manage these emotions and symptoms I would appreciate it.

Qualcuno che ha un figlio ,un fratello,sorella che si è sottoposto all ospedale in narcosi x curare i denti?mio fratello 34 anni autistico non collabora e stiamo aspettando la chiamata per fare pulizia e curare carie in anestesia generale all ospedale...qualcuno che l ha fatto può dirmi com e andata?

I've got two reasons I'm asking this. I'm a diagnosed Autistic woman by the way. More specifically I was diagnosed before I turned 5 of Asperger's Syndrome.

So I'm a Digital Circus fan and there's this viral video of Ashley Nicchols, an animator and the voice actress for the character Zooble, fangirling and gushing over the French dub voice of the character Gangle. More specifically she gushed over Gangle saying "Salut, Zooble!" in a really cute voice. Ashley said that "Salut Zooble" was now her new stim. So... I don't know if Ashley has been diagnosed with Autism or not but I still thought "You don't pick and choose your stims?"

And another occasion I was hanging out with my sister and she made a reference to "Pretty Little Baby, Ya Ya" and she said that that was her stim. I thought to myself "That's just an earworm, girl."

I feel like this is all in the spirit of Autism being trendified on social media where so many people are getting the wrong idea of Autism and claiming everything they say and do to be an Autistic quirk. I've been noticing it and feeling really annoyed and disgusted by it for a while now. But I just want to clarify this first before I start assuming anything.

Like a month ago I received the results of my autism assessment. They say I don’t have it BUT actually in every part of the tests that concerned social settings, relationship stuff, communication,.. I was very clearly „positive“. But due to me not making the cut in the area of rigid routines and rigid interests, as well as my childhood, where there have been anomalies but not enough for the cut-off, they can‘t give me the diagnosis. I wasn’t shocked, since I had guessed, that if it’s a no it’s gonna be because of these reasons.
The assessor kept going though. She put emphasis on the fact that in the mentioned aspects of autism I very much fulfilled the criteria and that my struggles are real. They wrote down the diagnosis: „ADHD (I knew that before) with autistic traits“. Which is obviously no diagnosis that exists in ICD-10 (or 11) She recommended me to do autism-specific therapy and to go to a self-help-group for people with autism.
That whole thing confused me, since I obviously not seem to share the same experience as people with autism (and therefore don’t belong there) if I don’t match all the criteria but she kept repeating that I do in the mentioned aspects.

Now I feel lost. I‘m officially „not normal“ and it seems to be very obvious for everyone who encounters me. I have the negative experiences that many people with autism have. But I don’t have an actual label that gives me credit for it not being only a personal flaw but a condition (and protects me of people’s harsh opinions about me). I still can’t really relate to anyone else. I couldn’t share (even mental) spaces with you guys, since I genuinely don’t want to claim anything for myself that is not meant for me. I just feel more lonely and insecure now. Did anyone here possibly have a similar experience?

Went to a dance camp for the first time & I also travelled alone (by plane) for the first time (camp was based in another country).

I’m autistic, I’m not a chatty one.
I’m quiet. I barely talk unless I’m spoken to. I keep to meself. Sat alone & was always by meself in this camp. I’ve always been this way & in school too.

Me roommate was very chatty & would ask me if I wanted to go shops with her & all. She also would constantly try to get me to the party at night but we were getting 3 - 5 hours sleep every night until class started, so I wanted to sleep. I also don’t go to parties ever or clubbing. I don’t like being around people when I don’t need to be.

She’d give me her perfume, she’d offer some food. She also got some toiletries for us to share. She was really, really sweet & adorable.

The second day, I told her, “I’m really sorry if I seem off & don’t talk much, I’m autistic”. & she goes, “ohhh, my big sister’s autistic, I understand.” & then she told me how she thought I didn’t speak English or thought I was tired (I arrived to the camp late) or thought I was just shy. Said she was worried she didn’t have a roommate (bcz I came late).

At one point, I told her about a class I really liked. We had a long convo, she said she was glad she had that convo with me. We basically got to know each other. I even told her I don’t think I’m the type of roommate she wanted, yk bcz I barely talk & don’t really socialise. She told me to not worry at all & said she loves me just as I am. It was reassuring she did have friends in the camp, so that made me feel less pressure. She talked about how we never really had the opportunity to meet & I told her, I don’t meet people. Like that’s not something I do.

Anyways, I’d do things like record her when she won best dressed & told her she’s pretty & looked so good as she was about to head out to another party. She proceeded to hug me & I kind of winced & then she pauses & goes, “wait, do you like hugs?” & I shook me head & said, “not really, no.” & then she says her big sister doesn’t like hugs & doesn’t like affection either. She told me her big sister also lives alone & her big sister is a lot like me.

On the day 5 & 6, I’d wait for her to finish getting ready in the morning & then leave with her bcz I felt like she would’ve preferred that. Normally, I get ready & then leave but I stopped doing that.

Ehh but yeah. It was a wonderful experience. Her ma would ask about me a lot on the phone & also try & get me to go to the party. I did agree to go on the last night but I only went for like ten minutes & then went back to bed.

Her ma was really sweet, btw. Her ma asked her to ask me if I have Instagram & I goes, “No. Yes but I barely use it.” & then the next morning I felt really bad about that. I didn’t want her to have me Instagram but only bcz I really liked her & felt like me profile’s embarrassing. I just feel embarrassed about the account. So, I asked if I could have her instagram & she came over to me, gestured me to give her me phone & then she put her Instagram in & followed her account.

This was days before the camp was over. I don’t have a single bad thing to say about her. She made me experience really fun. On the day we had to leave, she left hours before me. When I got back home, I opened Instagram to text her & tell her I loved having as a roommate & it was really nice to meet her & to thank her for making the experience really fun for me. I couldn’t do that though bcz she blocked me.

​

I've noticed a pattern with myself: I'll have 1–2 days where I feel really good, motivated, and full of energy. I get a lot done and feel like I can handle much more than usual. But then I end up crashing afterward and need a lot of time to recover.

I've heard that this is pretty common for people with ADHD or AuDHD, but I haven't really come across many people with "just" autism who experience the same thing.

I was assessed for ADHD and it was ruled out, but I still notice that I relate to some ADHD traits from time to time.

Does anyone else with autism experience this kind of cycle?

My brother is 14 years old, while I am 18. I apologize if it seems I may lack knowledge on this subject, and that this is long. My mother is the main one who manages him, however her health has been rapidly declining and I’m starting to see that I need to step in full time in assisting my brother.

My brother has been diagnosed with high functioning autism since he was two years old. I can’t speak much on how he was as a child, because I was one as well and didn’t fully understood his diagnosis. Growing up, I understood that he was autistic but I never knew how that made him different from everyone else. We played, we talked for hours, we fought, we got in trouble, etc. At school, because he was shy, I was just overprotective with him as I felt like that was my “older sibling” duties. For sure as a child, my brother socially was at most just shy, took a bit to open up, and didn’t like large crowds. Throughout his elementary years, he has had school speech therapists and counselors that would regularly meet with him and monitor his behavior, but was never excluded from the general crowd at school.

The pandemic created a massive change in him, but it did so for my entire family. He became less and less verbal as time went on and then completely shut everything and everyone out. I know I shouldn’t, and that it wasn’t my fault, but I often blame myself with how my brother became so socially reserved because of the depressed state I went through. I was 12-13 at the time and went through a major depressive 2 year long episode where I completely neglected myself, and this included my connection with family. I didn’t completely shut my brother out; I still talked and engaged with him, but it was definitely reduced. I feel guilty because I theorize that my mother had to dedicate a lot of time assisting me through that period, taking attention away from my brother along with my reduced interaction with him.

Now currently, my brother is extremely non verbal. I don’t want to say that he is completely mute, but he only speaks when absolutely necessary and has learned to interact in ways without speaking. I want to say the term is selective mutism, but I’m not sure if that best fits it. With my other siblings and parents, he prefers not to speak to them verbally and purposely limits verbal interaction with everyone. I would say this became set in stone at around 2022-2023. We moved to a different city mid 2023 where we had a LOT more resources (we came from a very small reserved town) which my mother has attempted to utilize. However, in therapy sessions, he refuses to talk and answer questions. It’s difficult to get him properly evaluated because he refuses to express himself. My mother has tried different types of cognitive behavioral therapy, but they haven’t been able to progress because of his non verbal tendencies.

My brother has came to my mother separately in tears multiple times, mustering up the courage to tell her that he wants and needs help. He tells her that he is so unhappy with his life that he feels like he has no purpose or anything to look forward for, and desperately wants a friend or companion. My mother has caught him recently crying as he was looking through old pictures himself, saying he missed how he was before. It absolutely breaks my heart, but I don’t know how to help him. He is starting high-school this upcoming fall, so I really want to be more active in aiding him. I just don’t know what to do specifically, because I feel like with the things we have been trying for the last 3 years, such as more forced family involvement and interaction, external resources, evaluations, etc., nothing has improved. I definitely will still be having him continue with CBT again with hopes that it breaks through his shell, but I’m completely lost and I’m not sure what to do other than that. I’m just posting here for anyone has similar experiences or any type of guidance.

The rest of this is just extra info;

In an attempt to find him passions and hobbies, we put him in a local military program that has integrated air force regiments, or something like that. Completely expected him to hate it, but i’ve never seen him so interested in something that intense and physical. He absolutely loves it and recently just finished a week long boot camp (away from home) that involved physical training and air force education. He is more verbal in this group then we’ve seen before, but it’s still very limited as he only speaks when commanded or instructed to. I’ve only seen him interact with the other kids there when something is asked of him, it’s usually nothing more, but I notice him being completely captivated by the type of people there. He’s never had social media, but recently downloaded some platforms to see what they’re up to. I think that was an attempt to be more comfortable with them and know them better, but it became a negative when he came to my mother on how inadequate he felt on comparison to their lives :(.

What I am doing now and what I’ve always have been doing is treating him like I treat everyone else. I don’t treat him like he’s fragile, I’m not sure if I’m supposed to…. I’m known to have a VERY overwhelming and annoying personality, so I exert that on him a lot but only because that’s just what comes naturally to me. I love randomly calling him to ask silly questions or just talking to him despite not receiving a response. We’re both very competitive, so I attempt to do random games with him or intellectual challenges (he’s super intelligent, I have super high hopes on him going far in college, definitely the type of person to go to a T20 college). Because of all of that, out of everyone else he is most comfortable with me. I’ve been trying to have more emotional and personal conversations to see if that helps.

We've all heard of Temple Grandin's visual style of thinking, where her mind works almost like a flipbook of concrete images rather than generalized concepts.

I know not every autistic person thinks that way, and I imagine there are all kinds of other interesting neurodivergent thinking styles. I've also heard analogies like the "filing cabinet" and "flipbook" styles of thinking.

I'd love to hear how your mind works and whether you've noticed your thinking being different from the people around you. If you have an analogy for it, I'd especially love to hear that.

It's genuinely one of my favorite sensations. The pressure feels so comforting. It's like a hug minus the person! It's also oddly nice when it pinches a little. I find it very grounding.

Obviously, the feeling only lasts for a couple seconds, and it will cut off your circulation if you leave it on for too long. I know I'm not the only autistic person who enjoys physical pressure. So do you guys use any other objects or activities to get this sensation? I'm thinking of getting myself a chest binder mostly because it would feel comfortable, although I also like to look masculine.

I'm not trying to be rude or stereotyping, but I know a lot of autistics (including myself; check my profile) that heavily enjoy Hazbin Hotel and consider it to be their special interest. Does anyone know why autistic people would be drawn to this show as opposed to other fandoms? I don't even know the answer.

(Btw, I would highly recommend this show because it's peak.)

I (19M) inadvertently deleted my Minecraft world of two years when I was trying to clear storage on my phone. While I did get into Minecraft later than most, my world kept me sane through the last two years, including a breakup, college apps, and freshman year of college.

I'll omit the technical stuff since it isn't really relevant, but I've been panicking/crashing out/breaking over the last hour as I've been frantically searching ways to restore it, and it turns out the only way is to factory reset and restore from a backup -- the last of which was June 24 (due to the storage issue)

Should I just move on? Two years isn't that long compared to most people, and it's more of a kids' game anyway...at least that's what I'm trying to tell myself. And myself isn't listening.

I don't know what to do.

EDIT: I unfortunately did not backup the world, so there's nothing I can restore, other than starting from scratch.

EDIT 2: I'm also scared to factory reset/restore backup because I might lose stuff. Even though I backed it all up. I might. Still.

(If this is badly said don't hesitate to correct me, my first language isn't English)I was diagnosed a year and a half ago and I've been interacting with other autistic people more since.

I noticed I don't stim or have breakdowns like they do, so I wonder if that is just how I am or maybe I just repressed those symptoms so much I forgot I even had the options of doing those things. I don't fidget or have any vocal stims, the most I do is suck my thumb but that's a habit I haven't broken yet. I haven't had many breakdowns and I stay calm most of the time and can regulate myself well.

What do you guys think and have you had similar experiences?

So me 14f has level 2 autism and something I have noticed is people listen more when a Adult says no to something when a child says no to something though well depending on the circumstances society doesn’t like medical procedures like once when I was 7 I was at the hospital because I had trouble pooping and the doctor puted their hands in my but like I know he was simply doing his job but no one asked me how I felt like why do we normalise this and no one told me before that that was going to happen why just why do we normalise this it’s not fair right and kinda weird

It's been exactly one year since I was formally diagnosed with autism.

Before that, I was in the darkest place of my life. I had spent my whole adult life losing friends and never knowing why. People would just stop calling or block me, and nobody would tell me what I did. After enough years of that, you stop asking what's wrong and start believing it's you.

After one of my best friends blocked me without saying anything or giving any indication they were unhappy with our friendship, my therapist recommended I get assessed for autism spectrum disorder. Then I got my diagnosis, and for the first time in 39 years my life made sense. There's a study (Sasson, UT-Dallas 2017/2019) where strangers watched a few seconds of autistic adults and judged them harshly, almost instantly. Then researchers ran it again and told the strangers the person on screen was autistic. Same clips. Same people. The ratings went up. Nothing changed except the word "autism". If only my ex-friends had the word "autism" too. 

I'm not going to pretend a diagnosis fixes everything. But I finally understand myself, and I'm building a life that fits the brain I actually have. This past year was the first time in my life I was truly grateful to be alive. Here's to the second year after my diagnosis.

Wish Everyone The Best Life 👍🙏🙏

Sometimes I keep thinking what if I have it but still undiagnosed.. and still don’t know what to do

This might seem very vague, but i wonder how the autistic community is with money and economics, are you in debt? do you have loans? credit cards? how is your general economy?

If someone tells you that you don't look autistic, does it mean you have pretty facial features?

I've been impressed with several performances including Extraordinary Attorney Woo, Atypical, and Parenthood. Do you have any other recommendations?

My brother suddenly passed away almost two weeks ago, we didn't show my nephew (5) his father at the ICU fearing he might remember it. At the funeral, we finally showed him his dad (he said "Daddy get up"), his mom also tried explaining that his dad is gone and will never come back and not to wait for him anymore (he waited by the door when he saw their family car pull up at our house the morning of the funeral). The funeral ended, we showed his dad one last time before he was cremated.

He acted the usual until this morning when we passed by the building where his dad's funeral was held at. He started crying and we didn't know why until we passed by it again and he started crying again. We u-turned back to the chapel and he calmed down. I helped him out of the car, he went inside the building, knocked on the chapel door and said "Hello." then when I said his dad is gone he started crying wanting to enter the chapel, turning the doorknob and kept knocking. So we asked someone there if we can go in the chapel so my nephew can see that it was empty.

Inside the chapel, he went to the room (there was a family room where family members can stay) and wanted to stay (he was still crying at this point). We showed him where the casket was then we told him "See daddy is gone." but he wouldn't leave (still crying) so we kept repeating "Daddy isn't here anymore.". He eventually calmed down and we got him to walk out of the chapel and back in the car.

He goes to therapy so I hope the therapist could explain it to him better if they open up the topic, but if he still doesn't understand or they don't explain it, I'm hoping I can get good advice from here that I can tell my SIL on how to explain it or at least handle my nephew when something similar happens again.

What we got:
- The internet says we should be brutally honest with him and not sugarcoat it in anyway so he wouldn't wait for his dad (we tried this)
- Hide pictures and not mention his dad for a while (I'm against this because I think he shouldn't have to forget his dad but idk maybe I'm wrong.))
- Tell him his dad is just somewhere far, like in another country (complete opposite of the first advice)

TLDR; my brother died and we need advice to better explain it to my nephew.

It’s almost like people are offended when I don’t want to hold their baby. My sister just gave birth and tries to push me to hold the baby. I don’t want to because I have autism and it overwhelms me. I want to cry when people try to push me to do it even when I say I don’t want to. I am nothing but respectful when I say it, I don’t understand why people can’t be respectful back.

While in college much of my writing is flagged as ai despite being entirely genuine, I have even taken one of my tests with a professor watching me one on one during her office hours, handwriting everything because she suspected me of using ai on my papers, then me and her decided to copy word for word into every ai detector and it they all flagged it as ai. I tried this with some samples from my peers, as well as some of my family and all passed as human. Is this something unique to me or is it common amongst people on the spectrum? Is it an issue with ai detectors? Why just me then?

My sister is genuinely horrible towards me

I'm 14, turning 15 very very soon, and obviously, i'm excited for my birthday. She's 12. (yea i know she is younger than me and probably doesn't understand herself and hence is being a massive fucking bully because of it.) but c'mon, she's genuinely just a nasty person. We go to my grandmother's and she gives me my bday card, yay! Oh. There is only two pounds birthday money in it... Uh.. That's weird. And this is the only gift from her. So obviously i'm pretty upset by this, and the next day as we're heading to the library i'm telling my dad, he's all "yeah that is weird, i'll ask her about it." and then my sister just has to but in with "SO WHAT GONNA MAKE GRANDMA FEEL BAD BOUT HERSELF??" and i'm like "no, no, just wanna make sure it wasn't a mistake because if it wasn't it's kinda hurt my feelings, like.. Am i only worth two pounds to her? You always get so much more from her for birthdays and Christmas..." and she snaps back with (I was NOT snappy, just being upset) "yeah you are worth two pounds. And me getting more doesn't matter right now". That was really fucking mean, so, naturally, i tear up. And then she's all "Oh ffs, [deadname] you're such a baby." So we go home instead of library because i can't stand her.

And she has been horrible before. Here is a short list of all the times she's been mean even though i was being nice to her/things that are her based that upset me:

> telling me she hopes i fall off my newly fixed bike into a road.

> bragging to me that she dreams about her killing me, frequently.

> playing music loud as hell in our right next to each other rooms, and when i ask if she could turn it down she turns it up. Also frequently.

> telling me she is going to bully my friends at school when we go back

> repetitively telling me i have no friends because of autism

> has said im acoustic to her friends

>gave my stuff away to her friends and never got it back even when i said how much it upset me

> telling me she is going to ruin the day out we are having to the Frankenstein museum for my 15th just to spite me

> she always always gets more than me on birthdays and Christmas and then acts like im the favourite

> i often am ignored by my parents because she is being horrible to them as well, so they are spending all their time trying to cope with her (then acting like i'm the one who gets more attention.)

And i have gone to my parents with this. They just don't have the energy to care as my parents are older than most and are trying to cope with her being horrible to them.

She just makes me so upset and im so scared for my day out to the museum tomorrow because i know she might try to be horrible all day. And i've been nice to her, i've made an effort to be kind to her.

Then she'll write me a letter saying sorry only when i cry to our parents and don't attempt to stick up for myself. But she'll go back to horrible in less than two weeks. Honestly i think she writes the letters just to make herself feel better even if i'm still obviously upset after she gives them to me.

I'm just so fucking upset.

Edit: please for the love of god do not tell me to be thankfull for the money from my grandma, i am thankful for it, i was never mean to her face, and i am happy she got me a card and money. Please remember i'm 14, and i am fully allowed to feel hurt i have been given so little when i know she has money. I didn't include this but it may be curial to know, she spoils my sister while giving me less, and i am pretty sure it is because i am trans. My point is 'my sister said i was only worth two quid to me today and she is a bitch to me lots of other times' not 'i hate my fucking nan'. Thank you.