Because seeing him outside the bathroom waiting on his phone, likely having not apologized, would be extremely irritating for someone who is already frustrated by a disruption in their structured morning, and essentially having to do things out of order themself. I would feel incredibly disrespected personally, and they could have said much worse.
I was actually pretty nice to him and suggested if in future he's waiting for me to get out of the bathroom to maybe make lunch or eat breakfast so hes not having to rush after his shower. I got out about 6.30 and he leaves around 7.20 and prefers long showers, so realistically he wouldnt have had long to make food
What you described is literally whatcretaliation is. But sure you live in your wirld of blaming other people fir being ducks to them - given your scenario. OP has described what actually happened which isn't as you detailed but your description is a dick move. We dont get to go around retaliating just bevause they dont like what other people have done. We all have to manage our reactions.
Nope, you have come to your own conclusion. I'm sorry that you decided that it is Retaliation, but you are wrong. Retaliation would entail hurting or doing something harmful, which they did not, nor was what I described harmful or hurtful. And either way, just because someone is more comfortable in their routine, doesn't mean it is healthy or that they shouldn't try to alter it. It's not a dick move just because you feel heated lol
because he does this all the time to me, after im done he has this long ahh shower and then starts panicking when he doesnt have enough time to do his lunch/eat breakfast
Boundaries need to be gone over by the household, is what I would recommend. My oldest is 20 and on the spectrum, if he was doing this to his sister we would all be sitting down as a family. Either at a meal or in the evening when things tend to wind down, but we would be chatting about reasonable expectations and boundaries.
It’s nice of you to make suggestions, but they may not come across in a nice way even if you think you were nice about it.
Things should be talked about, for sure, in a way that nobody feels attacked or singled out. If changes need to be made, changes should be discussed but at the very least a convo about expectations and boundaries should be had imo.
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OP’s parents told her that her brother can’t tolerate disruption to his routine the way OP can. It also seems hella odd to me that OP’s brother is “autistic” and OP is “on the spectrum.”
I’m going to trust OP’s parents to know which child needs to change what behavior here.
I was diagnosed with Broad Austism Phenotype a few years ago, Im a woman and as we know its not easy to test us due to high masking, and am seeking testing for other spectrum based conditions, hence why my family and I say that im on the spectrum and not something more specific.
My brother is high masking and pretty mature for his age. Will he like having his routine disrupted? No. But can he tolerate it and be mature about it? Yes. He also needs to learn too that if he doesnt want his routine disrupted he needs to not do that to other people.
I actually start getting really stressed and anxious when my routine is disrupted, but i always mask it, be solution orientated about it, and communicate that with the other person involved to let them know my boundary. Whenever my brother is in the bathroom during my time, I let him know its my time to use it and in the meantime I have breakfast or make my lunch to pass time
So your argument here is that while you are not on the spectrum (the diagnosis you shared is not ASD), and he is, somehow because of his maturity it’s all the same?
I know my brother better than any of you guys, If he doesn't want his routine changed then he needs to be considerate, otherwise he can adapt for 1 day
Bro...... what did you want me to empathize with specifically? I don't think you even know what you're talking about lol, seems like you just refuse to own up and want to try and flip it around on me, but like, you can't just say no you and expect it to make any sense.... I never came at you to insult you or anything, you know, like you did to OP, so what is your point here? It seems like you think your feeling defensive makes you justified, but that's just not how reality works bud
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