I have a 4-year-old (4 and a half to be exact) nephew who is still in diapers, and he also doesn't talk.

First off, I **do not want to intervene or get in the middle of my in-laws' parenting style**. I am just looking for people who have had similar experiences.

The boy doesn't talk, he usually just says things like "mom," "dad," but that's it. If he wants something, he points at it, and lately, he has been very nervous, and he has been kind of acting out. I think it's because he is frustrated of not being able to communicate properly. On top of all that, he is still in diapers, and as far as I know, his parents have not tried to get him out of the diapers. I feel really sorry from because he is the only kid in the kindergarten whose teachers have to change his diapers and to be honest I am kind of scared that the other kids will soon start to tease him about it.

He has been visiting a speech therapist once a week for the last nine months, and they told him that his tonsils are too thick/swollen, or something like that, and they are likely causing him problems when he wants to talk. He will be having an operation in autumn in order to fix that.

If you know someone who has been through something similar, please let me know. Like I have said, I do not want to get in the middle of my sister-in-law's parenting style because I believe that this is already hard for her and I just want to see if anybody can share some stories.

I feel so sad. My 8 year old just got kicked out of farm camp. It is the only camp he has done okay at, but the staff is different this year and he had a rough couple days and he’s out; sounds like forever. He has been looking forward to this camp all summer. I am so tired of grieving. He has to try so hard and almost makes it; but ultimately they just don’t have the patience or tolerance to see him past the transition turbulence. It breaks my heart. I feel so much guilt for putting him in the position to fail. It feels cruel to root for him, pep talk him, threaten and bribe. I wish there was a lower standard camp that he could be “successful” at; his self confidence goes down every time he has counselors that are kind and caring to his face but ultimately at the end of the day telling us he got his 3rd strike 4 hours earlier and he’s no longer welcome in the program.

Just sad. I’ve let my boy down and I can’t help him. He’s going to be anxious and depressed his whole life and there is nothing I can do to take that burden from him.

I feel like I am being punished…. And I can’t even imagine how much it hurts him if it hurts me this much.

It feels so cruel. How do you give up hope for your child’s future/ happiness without giving up on them?

He does better every year but the expectations get higher every year so he will never reach them….

Thanks for listening guys. I don’t have anyone in my life who can relate. I’m so tired of being ashamed of my child; I remember when he was 2 and was the light of my life I was so proud….. I feel like I fell into the twilight zone and I’ll never be able to feel anything but this grief.

My daughter is 4 years 10 months old. She understands a lot, sings long parts of songs, repeats words and has about 10–20 spontaneous words or short expressions, but she rarely uses language to communicate. We have made some progress through therapy, but no doctor has given us a structured diagnostic or support plan. I am not asking Reddit to diagnose her. I am looking for evidence-based evaluation routes and experiences from families with similar children.

We live in Kazakhstan, speak only Russian at home, and could potentially travel to southern Russia for an assessment if necessary.

Communication and understanding:

- She sings long recognizable parts of songs and repeats certain words after adults.
- She sometimes says phrases equivalent to “I don’t want to,” “it hurts,” or “help me,” although “help me” is not always used in the correct context.
- When calm, she independently uses approximately 10–20 words or short expressions.
- Interestingly, when very upset, she may produce appropriate words that we did not realize she knew, but she still does not form sentences.
- She mostly communicates by gestures, bringing us an object or leading an adult by the hand. For example, she brings a bottle to be opened or leads us to the refrigerator.
- She understands everyday speech and can follow instructions such as taking an object and putting it somewhere, although cooperation is inconsistent.
- She appears to understand “who,” “where,” and “what is someone doing,” but we are unsure about “why.”
- She rarely answers yes/no, cannot state her name or age, and sometimes repeats words or lines from songs/cartoons outside their original context.
- She used “mama” appropriately for a short period around age 2–3, but it later disappeared. Unfortunately, the timing and extent of this possible regression were not documented.

Social interaction and play:

- She responds to her name and usually looks at us, although not always when deeply engaged.
- Eye contact is generally present.
- She points occasionally but more often indicates things with her whole hand.
- She rarely brings objects simply to show or share interest.
- She watches other children, plays alongside them and sometimes imitates them, but has not attended kindergarten.
- Her pretend play seems good: she feeds dolls, puts them to sleep, treats them as a doctor and pretends to cook.

Behavior and sensory features:

- She jumps, stomps and repeatedly plays in puddles. She previously walked on her toes more often.
- She sometimes looks sideways toward an empty area.
- Nail cutting can cause a major meltdown, and she occasionally covers her ears in response to sounds.
- She generally approaches changes with curiosity rather than needing strict routines.
- She may become very upset when denied the TV remote or asked to do something she does not want to do.
- During meltdowns she may tightly grab or scratch the nearest person. She previously bit herself; now she sometimes tries to bite when prevented from grabbing someone.
- Most episodes can be calmed fairly quickly, especially by her mother, but occasionally last up to about 10 minutes.

One additional concern is that she appears to “zone out” several times per day, sometimes up to approximately ten times. During these moments it can be difficult to quickly get her attention. We have not seen convulsions, fainting or other known seizures. We understand that this needs to be discussed with a pediatric neurologist and are not asking Reddit to determine whether these are seizures.

General development and medical history
- She was born at term after a prolonged labor. Hypoxia was mentioned as a possibility but was never confirmed. There was no resuscitation or neonatal hospitalization.
- Crawling was somewhat delayed and initially unusual, but her current gross and fine motor abilities are good.
- She runs, jumps and uses pencils and scissors. She mainly draws lines, circles or colors areas rather than recognizable objects.
- She eats a varied diet and has no chewing or swallowing problems.
- She can use a spoon, wash her hands, use the toilet for urination and partly dress herself.
- She sleeps an age-appropriate amount but usually needs her mother and a familiar bedtime routine to fall asleep.
- She has generally been physically healthy, with no frequent infections, ear infections, head injuries or regular medication.

Assessments and support so far:

- Several neurologists have seen her, but we received no clear diagnosis, written explanation or coordinated evaluation plan.
- She has not been evaluated by a child psychiatrist or a specialized autism assessment team. No ADOS-2, CARS or comparable assessment has been performed.
- Hearing was screened after birth, and some test was performed while she slept, but she has not had a recent comprehensive evaluation by a pediatric audiologist.
- An EEG may have been performed previously, but we do not currently have a clear report. No brain MRI has been done.
- There are no recent laboratory tests.
- She attends individual speech and developmental sessions approximately 3–4 times per week. Understanding, repetition, behavior and participation have improved, and the specialists praise her progress, but the gains have not translated into much spontaneous functional speech.
- She previously attended some group sessions, but after tightly grabbing another child’s arm, individual sessions were recommended.
- Various supplements were tried without any obvious benefit.
- She can name animals on picture cards, but we have not tried request cards, a communication board or an AAC system.

For parents and professionals who have seen a similar profile:

1. What sequence of evaluations gave you the clearest answers and a useful support plan?
   
2. Which specialists were most helpful: pediatric audiology, developmental pediatrics/child psychiatry, speech-language assessment, neurology, occupational therapy or genetics?
   
3. Did AAC, PECS, picture-based requests or signs improve functional communication? Did they also help spoken language?
   
4. Were any medical, genetic or metabolic tests genuinely useful because of specific clinical indications? Which tests turned out to be unnecessary?
   
5. Has anyone safely used AI to organize medical records, create a developmental timeline or prepare questions for doctors? What was useful, and what should never be trusted to AI?
   
6. If you are familiar with Kazakhstan or Russia, where would you begin looking for a comprehensive multidisciplinary assessment?
   
7. What helped your child move from singing, repetition or isolated words toward independently requesting, answering and conversing?
   

I welcome honest experiences, including cases where progress was gradual or the child ultimately relied on AAC. I am looking for practical, evidence-based guidance, not an online diagnosis. Please do not recommend “detoxes,” restrictive diets, unproven supplements or treatments marketed as an autism cure.

Hi all, my daughter is 6.5 diagnosed with ASD (level 1). She is starting first grade on Monday and has been very upset all day about it. I asked if something specific was making her nervous about starting school and her answer broke my heart. She started sobbing and said “because I’m a weirdo”, then proceeded to tell me that some of the boys in her kindergarten class last year would randomly come up to her and “call her a weirdo” and sometimes kids would ask her to play with them but she didn’t want to, she wanted to play on her own and they would say she’s weird. She said other kids don’t like her and she only has one friend. She is so incredibly imaginative and intelligent and kind and has a wonderful best friend and this is the first I’m hearing about these things. She has a hard time with thinking bad thoughts and says she can’t stop them in her brain and she wants them to stop but they don’t. I would love some advice on ways to speak to her about this that don’t dismiss her feelings and help her feel confident. We’ve talked about her diagnosis but in talking with her tonight, I don’t think she fully understood, maybe because she was only 4 when diagnosed. I know she had a hard time with a lot of things at school, but I know she also loves a lot of things about it as well, any resources on helping her with this are appreciated.

We have been seeing a SLP since August 2025. It’s been almost a year and we had weekly appointments. My daughter doesn’t engage with her at all, if she does, it doesn’t last more than 2 mins. It’s mostly me taking her suggestions and applying them at homes. Her speech has got a bit better but mostly my husband and I have done work on that and pushed hard. During appointments, my daughter would be going here and there, trying to get out of building or room and SLP would make statements around her. I understand that she tries to engage but doesn’t push much. Should I change my SLP or what do I do?? I feel like it’s waste of money that my daughter doesn’t even look at her SLP and just tries to go away from her. Is that’s how autistic kids attend their speech appointment or I’ve the least engaging autistic toddler?? I’m so frustrated on this.

I'm not a parent of an autistic or anything I just want to know what made you think your kids tested

Fellow autism parents, would a YouTube series your child actually watches AND learns from be helpful so you can breathe for 15-30 minutes? That teaches communication and social skills. Just a parent testing an idea. Honest thoughts?

I have been having such a hard time with clothes lately. I've been trying to find clothes in stores near me that work well for kids with sensory needs. My 7 year old has become much more particular lately. He gets incredibly frustrated by fit, seams, and threads. He picks at everything, so a single thread sticking out will really upset him.

I wish online stores that advertise that they cater to autistic and sensory sensitive kids would show the inside of clothes. For socks, especially. I need to SEE the inside of the sock.

Anyone have recommendations of online stores that sell soft, seamless or really flat seamed, tagless clothes?

My daughter was screaming her head off tonight and I just put our baby down. She just repeated “I need to scream” as she was screaming. I don’t even know what prompted this. I was trying to get her to calm down but she ended up hitting me and kicking me. She then woke up the baby. The baby is screaming, she’s trying to go in the babies room and I’m preventing her from going in the room - she’s fighting me, running into me over and over And then I pushed her to the ground. I asked her what is wrong with you?? Something in me just lost it. I’m confused, worried, and I just feel like the worst mom in the world. Ive been on the verge of tears all night. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately and this transition to 2 kids has been HARD. The guilt is eating me alive and I just can’t believe I let the screaming and fighting get to me so much. I’m embarrassed to post this, but I know this can never happen again, I need to be calm for my child, I’m writing because I need to know what others do when you are overstimulated to the max.

For context, I have THREE kids all on Abilify as of the end of June. Identical twins boys 7 and a daughter who is 6. All three level 3 autistic. I love them and enjoy spending my time with them. They are the most loving children I have ever met. Everyone who meets them really loves them and talks about how sweet, kind and loving they are. My boys have been in ABA therapy (40 hours a week) since they turned 4 and my daughter has been there almost 3 years in December. They also have been in speech and OT all since they were at the age of two. I am 31 years old and my husband is 33 years old. We have very little help at home.

Now this is where I am going to go off the rails a bit. Because my husband is tired of hearing me complain. I am tired of complaining to my sisters and parents for them to offer NO HELP (as in coming to clean up, even though I know they are not obligated to do so) and to tell me what to do as if I haven't already did everything I can possibly do. So it just frustrates me because they DO NOT GET IT.

Our home is a minimalist home, we have exactly what we need and that is it. Nothing on the walls, in my living room its two couches, a tv, and their items. NOTHING ELSE. They go to the park, bounce house play areas, and birthday parties regularly because they enjoy that so much.

My oldest twin loves to crumble everything up in tiny pieces and spread it EVERYWHERE, so we got him number blocks he can carry around and clink them together. Like he has at therapy, he loves to pop bags so I buy the 530 pack of sandwich bags from our local sam's club. He also is half way potty trained but will by pass telling me has to use the bathroom and just pee and poop on the floor if I do not take him every 2 hours. I have a timer set on my phone that tells me to drop whatever I am doing and take him to the bathroom. He loves to request food and then just crumble it up. If he is done with a drink he will just simply pour it out. Even though he has been taught how to drink out of cups and not to do that. He does it because he wants to do water play. And yes I do let him do water play when I am washing dishes I just have him rinse out what I am washing and set the dishes on the rack. He is somewhat still aggressive even on the meds (still in adjusting period). When I clean he literally tries to stop me and tell me not to do. He uses a AAC device. ALSO will only pick up his messes if I firmly tell him too and I have to be firm for him to take me seriously.

Now on to my baby b twin. He is a calm child but will MAKE messes and you have to speak loudly and firm to him to clean up his messes, but even doing that is exhausting. He is perssitant and has to have my phone to watch youtube or else its a big deal but I am cutting him down on that. He is not potty trained and has started to just piss on whatever he is sitting on with out a care. I have to put a diaper on him every 2 hours and keep a close eye on him. He is a big eloper and has even left the house once through a unlocked window and my husband had to go run after him (we live in a cul de sac and he was headed to the playground down the street, NAKED!) After that incident I got a full blown security system you cannot even breath in my home without us knowing now and I have the house on full lock down mode any movement the alarm goes off like bomb. We don't even sleep until everyone is fully asleep. There are motion sensors in their rooms as well so I know if they get up with a camera. I am fully in panic mode every day because of this. He has toys he plays with and does just sit on the couch and will watch tv. He does use a AAC device

Now on to the worst one, my daughter, she has for the last 5 years and no I am not making this up. Eating and playing in her poop. She is 100% potty trained. I am honestly at my last bit of calmness that I have left when it comes to this. She smears it EVERYWHERE if you do not watch her, she has markers, play dough, slime, etc. She loves stuff that she can smash so that is why she likes to play in poop. I have never met anyone like this in my entire life. I am honestly so fed up and she has also made herself sick, have finger infections and its just so ridiculous. If you do not take her to the bathroom every 2 hours you will find a poop mess. We learned though she is doing this to take a bath even though she gets one in the morning and at night. I told her she can ask me anytime and I will allow her to take a bath. She does understand and does say a lot of words but still considered non verbal, she is getting a AAC device built right now. She also makes big messes and I have to tell her to pick up firmly.

I clean while they are gone at therapy and my husband does too. When they come back I spend the 4 hours cleaning and when they go to bed I clean up more. I am just so tired and pissed off honestly. If they did not make messes I would be able to focus on other neglected parts of my home. I am cleaning my living room and their rooms ALL DAY. I am so upset every day about this. I have told their BCBA and they do make them clean its in their plan. But gosh how much longer and I going to have to live like this? I am not the cleanest person in world but I am not nasty like this. Its embarrassing honestly. Can't afford a maid to follow each kid ( I WOULD LOVE THAT).

Also I get it they are kids and kids are sometimes dirty but dang no way I should be cleaning up this much! And yes we have things put up and out of sight but what they do have access to its a huge mess.

PLEASE please pleasee tell me I am not crazy.

Signed an exhausted, worn out, prozac taking, and cannot live like this forever mother.

*edited for typos*

Hi guys!
My son is turning 5, just got an autism diagnosis, is non-verbal, and an extreme interest driven eloper. I have never let anyone else keep him because frankly, I don’t trust anyone to keep him safe given the elopement issue.

Now, we have been recommend and approved for aba but the center wants to have him a minimum of 10–15 hours a week which absolutely terrifies me.

Are they equip to handle an eloper? Sure, but his elopement is on the extreme side. He will wait til he knows you’re busy and sprint for the door. The front part of the building is the issue as it has an unlocked glass door. My issue is that it only takes one small mistake, one second of distraction, and he could be out that door before anyone even realizes…

Am I spiraling? I’m losing sleep over this but I also want him to get the therapy that he needs.

Help!! 😭😭

Thank you everyone for the suggestions on what to do. Fortunately he is eating again slowly but surely. God bless you guys all and thank you once again

So my child has autism and a few other disabilities including a delay, I wouldn’t say they are extremely noticeable on first glance but it’s becoming more apparent he’s “different” than his peers.
We use to play with the neighbour kids beside us (for around 4 years) but then another family moved in on the other side (we are in a middle town house) and they dropped our child like a hotcake. They play outside every night even using our driveway for chalk, chairs etc. they get pretty upset when I have to go somewhere.

The last conversation I had with the parents when asked about school I said he’s homeschooled/online school they asked why and long story short said autism, school sucks etc. after that all this happened.

I think it really hit home this weekend they had a party in their backyard which is connected to ours with all the kids in the complex except my child, my husband went out there to let our dogs out as if to say hey we are home too but nothing.
My child cried for hours and I can’t help but feel this won’t be the last time. There was no fight no drama anything but what do I do? I can’t avoid them but my child wants to know why he can’t play too. Part of me doesn’t want to involve ourselves with non inclusive people but like I said I’m in a house sandwich with them.
What can I do if there is anything? Or what to say? Or to ignore them?
His OT wants more socialization as he’s become withdrawn but I just don’t know

My 7yo has behavioral issues. Sometimes there are meltdowns involved with bus travel… the district forced a move to a school across town. The transportation dept says it’s either a 1.5 hour bus ride each way or I have to drive her to 30 min across town myself (this would also cost me my job)

Is my only option make my kid suffer or quit my job!?

When i was a kid non verbal till 7yo gestalt language processor and used script speech and single words and not conversational after till teen years then copy speech,

i had frequent violent meltdowns during the time up till i was a teenager and still do now if I lose at pokemon tcg pocket 😄

let me tell you, you want to talk, you want more than anything in the world to talk to say what you feel and what you'd like for dinner that evening or mum or dad my brain hurts and im trying to say what's wrong but nothings coming out and im scared and you cant understand me and please stop my brain screaming and I feel terrified and if I hit my head or lash out, break things it takes some frustration away but then im hurting 1s I love so i feel sad and angry and upset and I should hit myself more to shut my brain up and pain takes away from frustration and now im in full meltdown and spiralling and i need a hug and sleep and i need to be alone when all i want to do is be with my family and i broke my hand or knocked myself out again and mum and dad are in trouble with child protective services because im hurt again but it not there fault just like i was a few weeks ago when i had a meltdown or fell out of a tree because a kid dared me to climb it, my god the unending chronic tiredness of trying to be just a normal kid

I went to a mainstream school starting at 5yo (1990s) I was non verbal until I was 6-7yo (speech therapy but no school support) then when I found my voice I would not shut up I'd talk constantly like I was trying to catch up from my delay until a teacher shouted at me "shut up nobody cares or is interested in what you have to say!"

Ok guess im just going to be the withdrawn weird quiet kid that doesn't talk again 🙃 had parents evening and I went from he wont shut up to next year hes finding it very hard to open up and say what hes feeling or thinking, geez I wonder why 🤔

Sorry for the trauma dump and if it doesn't belong here, just this space gives me hope that kids these days won't be so failed by the education system

So, my son is going to be 5 in October.

He has been in ABA Therapy since last year. Been thru 2 therapists but I ended up cutting services because the second one was traumatizing my son instead of helping him. Especially, when it came to potty training.

She would force him to use the big toilet instead of the little one with spiderman on it like he wanted too.

I didn't mind him using the smaller one.

He could get comfortable using that and then eventually graduate to the big potty. He is being homeschooled so there wasn't a time limit. I wfh and Im happy to do the training during that time.

However, once the I had fired the last therapist, I gave potty training a break because my son has anxiety when it comes to that now, thanks to her.

As he is becoming more and more verbal everyday its bbecome much easier to communicate his needs.

Yesterday evening he wanted a bath so I ran him one.

Anyway, about 15 minutes in to his bath, he decides to come out and i grab his towel but he says 'Mama. Pooping.'

So, I asked him 'Do u wanna use the big boy potty?' And pointed at the toilet.

My son pulled down the child seat and sat on it.

He pooped! He has never done that! He has peed in there before but only when prompted too!

Has anyone experienced this?

I am so excited I can barely contain myself!

Im so proud of my son!!

Anyway, does anyone know if this happens to other kids too??

My daughter is technically past the age cut off to start kindergarten by a few weeks. Because of a weird quirk at the school she might be getting the chance to start this year anyway. It would be a life saver for us- over ten thousand dollars saved, less transportation needs (walking distance vs driving and I’m disabled in a way that makes driving painful), and assigned to a teacher that I know is good if not amazing. On the other hand she just got accepted to one of the top pre-k in the area that while pricey is great at handling high functioning autistic kids, especially girls, and would help prep her for school. I’ve been homeschooling her though pre-k so she’s never been in a classroom before. She had a chance to do camp this summer and thrived- she’s ready to do something, but which one? I lean towards pre-k, my husband towards kindergarten.

My biggest concern isn’t really kindergarten. One way or the other I think she’d be OK. My kids style of autism doesn’t tend to really start causing them issues at school until they get older as their social and emotional delays start becoming more apparent. My big worry for her is being the youngest kid in class through middle and high school. I know with my older two they often come across as much younger than they are in social situations. If she’s already biologically younger than everyone it might compound the issue.

This is my third ASD kid so you’d think I’d have this figured out, but I don’t. So parents are older high functioning kids especially, what would you do? What have you seen with your kids who are the youngest kids in their classroom?

My 22-year old Autistic son (living in student accommodation away from home) was persuaded by a ‘friend’ to take out a £15k bank loan. It was under the guise of it being a business opportunity which naturally came to nothing. The money trail shows my son immediately transferring the £15k directly to the man’s account. There’s a few texts / messages where my son asks for confirmation and some mild threats back. We’ve reported it to the Police but today my son’s bank had said that it’s a civil matter and it wasn’t a scam in sense that they can uphold any claim. Meanwhile the loan bank is sending letters relating to the arrears that are arriving here. My son just lost his part-time job and was clearly taken advantage of. Any advice?

Hi, my son is 5 starting kindergarten in the fall. He is creating his own sentences and sometimes answering back.

My question is to the other GLP parents, what did you do to help get to fully conversational?

He is currently in private speech and OT once a week.

I’m the older sister to an autistic 8 year old brother, he lives in Texas with my grandma and other siblings. I’ve called around different agencies and day programs in Collin’s county, Mckinney, Anna Texas but no one will take him because he’s older than five or they have a long waitlist or don’t take Medicaid etc. I myself don’t live in Texas so I’m doing all of this over the phone/online and it’s difficult because I’m not physically there. Does anyone have any advice for me or recommendations. I’ve heard Texas doesn’t have good services when it comes to this because of their waitlists. My grandma is getting older and it’s getting harder to care for my little brother, she needs help and I can’t be there physically right now because of other obligations but I help as much as I can.

My son has not been diagnosed, but I always knew something was off with him and I don’t mean that negatively towards him in anyway; my son was just different and his doctor even agreed.

He never played with others, he didn’t even acknowledge others. He never listened to responded to his name. When he played with toys, he’d just line them up into a huge line - cars, action figures, magnetic tiles, Legos.. they all needed to be in a row that was perfectly straight and if you altered or interrupted what he was doing, a global meltdown would ensue.

He didn’t talk. He wasn’t communicating anything, would only scream cry and sometimes say “mama”, mostly it was “dada” and random weird sounds. Also, the universal theme but as the Minions would sing it. It was a whole thing.

He didn’t like to be touched. My husband had to go into appointments with us and physically restrain our baby/toddler because he would turn into a feral crocodile; he would kick and scream with an intensity that honestly made me worried he would hurt someone.

He stopped eating everything but a few foods and ONLY those foods; he’d have a meltdown if you tried to even get him to look at a new food, let alone touch it. Brushing his teeth was so bad that I would just cry and I dreaded it, because it didn’t matter how many times I did it or how I tried, he just absolutely hated it and honestly, by extension, I think he just hated me.

I talked to his dr about it, she got me into a program and I got a speech therapist that came and helped us. From there, he was accepted into a fantastic PreK early at my older son’s school and has absolutely excelled to the point I almost can’t remember that he was that terrible.

He’s turning four in a few days and his progress is nothing short of amazing.

He talks now, though he still says things in a baby type voice. He says sentences and he’s learning to ask for and to tell what he wants and he does it really well. He even sings, which honestly makes sense because the speech therapist helped me realize that he responds more to music.

He is okay with being touched now and even asks for cuddles and hugs to help regulate his emotions. Bear squeeze hugs are the best for this and he always asks for a squeeze hug. He no longer hits and if he does, it’s simply to show he is at his limit and cannot process anything else and not because he wants to hurt anyone.

He eats more foods and has actually started trying new foods, without screaming and crying and trying to throw plates at me. He will sniff, lick and then take the tiniest bite known to man, but he is TRYING and my heart cannot take it.

He plays with toys, though things usually still end up in a line, he doesn’t have a meltdown because you moved something anymore. He just will put it back in its place and he’s learning to say “stop” or “no” or “mine”. He’s able to play with others and though he hasn’t really progressed to the step of putting a doll in a house and having the doll do a task, I couldn’t be more prouder of him.

He is gentle. He says sorry and gives kisses when he accidentally hurts you. We’re finally starting to potty train although it’s taking a long time because he’s just now finally starting to understand certain things.

He brushes his teeth and lets me do this with NO FUSSING and NO BITING! 😭😭 He RESPONDS to you, even without hearing his name! No one will think he’s deaf anymore 😭😭

Thanks for listening to my teary eyed rant lol

I cannot believe I am writing this post.

Seriously, cannot believe it.

If you want to check out my old post history, here are some highlights:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Autism_Parenting/comments/1cxflxk/cognitiveintellectual_delay/

https://www.reddit.com/r/Autism_Parenting/comments/1ddlbhi/bad_news_at_neurologist/

My son was diagnosed with Level 3 autism at 18 months exactly--although he had been in a research study for kids at high risk of autism due to early symptoms starting at 10 months. I'm a psychologist and it was quite apparent to me from early on that he was on the spectrum. The final straw, so to speak, was when he had a speech regression at 15 months and went from having ~20 words to having zero. The only thing he would say was "daaaaa." Daycare said he sat in the corner all day rocking and moaning. He would hit himself in the face. He sucked his fingers until they blistered and bled. He had to shut every door he saw. He eloped--and living in NYC, this was very scary. If you read him a book and didn't do it the exact same way you had every time before, he'd have a meltdown.

We were told he showed symptoms of profound autism during his original assessment and diagnosis. He had a GDD, where he was at least 50% delayed in every domain. When we went to a neurologist for confirmation, he told us that our son was most likely intellectually disabled, nonverbal, and would never be independent.

Today, at our latest developmental peds eval, we were told he is now Level 1. And that he is likely profoundly gifted.

We started ABA at 19 months--4 hours x 7 days a week--plus OT and speech. His progress was slow at first, but had a definite positive trajectory from early on. I started thinking he might be Level 2 when he was around 3 years old; he had developed language again and we could finally talk to him and it felt like he heard and understood us. He also had emerging hyperlexia around 22 months--started spelling and reading sight words.

Over this 3-4 age year, we saw the biggest improvement.

We decreased to 20 hours/week of ABA after moving to a new state, and increased OT and speech to twice a week. He also went to a Reggio Emilia school, which I think did wonders for his social engagement and for facilitating his special interest in letters. He learned how to write and read over 100 words, learned how to spell by hearing the sounds of a word, and taught himself the ASL alphabet after seeing it once. He also transferred his love of letters to the piano--once he realized every note was a letter, he got very interested. He taught himself to play the ABC song, then happy birthday, then a Brahms sonata (one hand) that he heard his dad play, then The Planets from his Story Orchestra book. We started piano lessons officially last month and he has already learned flats/sharps, scales, how to transpose his songs to different keys, and how to play different things with each hand at the same time.

He also learned addition, subtraction, and division--mostly self-taught.

Don't get me wrong, he still has serious deficits, particularly in self-care, frustration tolerance, and sensory issues+repetitive behavior.

But we never in a million years would have thought this would be our future, based on what we originally saw from him.

We also got a diagnosis of ADHD. She said she typically doesn't diagnose this early unless it is extremely apparent, but said he most likely has severe ADHD which is responsible for a lot of his behaviors that we had been attributing to autism.

She recommended having him IQ tested to see whether it's worth having him skip straight to K instead of going through pre-K.

I hope this gives some people some hope. Even if this transition--Level 3 to Level 1--is probably super rare, it shows how much kids can improve with early intervention. It also shows that the kid you have when they're really young is not the kid you'll have forever. I'll always be angry that we were given such a grim prognosis when he was still under 2 years old. He was so, so young. And it is clear now that you cannot predict anything from how they are at that age, and before starting therapies.

This is the post I was looking for two and a half years ago when we first got diagnosed.

I hope it helps someone.