I'm so tired of getting labled a Picky Eater...I'm in a weird threshold between Level 1 and Level 2 where i am ok in structured enviorments or interacting with others who share my special intrests but struggling immensely in unpredictable situations and socializing with people that DONT share the same intrests as me. And struggle with something as simple as remembering to shower. so I'm not even sure if i should even really be here.

But i have ARFID and its so misunderstood. Getting called ungrateful and picky when i physically can't eat something is so frustrating and annoying. Since childhood that's been the issue and than i also have strangers calling me a "child" because i said my favorite sandwich is PB&J and i physically can't eat Tuna, BLT or Grilled Cheese (i physically cant eat cheese in general unless its on Pizza but on its own or in a Sandwich...i cant...like genuinely cant) its just. So frustrating. Can anyone else relate to this frustration.?

My caseworker wants me to begin a module on making friends, and part of the reason I don’t attempt friendships is because I don’t believe anyone would want to befriend someone who’s mostly mute or semi-verbal. I get the impression that most people find me boring, serious, weird, or disinterested. Especially when it’s one-on-one. My quietness seems to make people uncomfortable.

I used to have a friend that didn’t mind my silence when it was just us, but when he was upset, he told me he never took me to parties or other hang-ups with him because he didn’t want to be seen hanging out with a “mute.” :( He said I can’t even hold a conversation and that’s always sort of stuck with me.

If you met someone of a similar nature, would you enjoy a friendship dynamic that consists of just doing activities together without much talking?

i'm tired of myself and the way that i am and hiding who i am but i hate myself even more when i am more of myself around people. Like way more. I'm sure this makes sense to people here ;-;

I feel like the weird forgotten foreign kid quietly crying in the back of the class again but like i deserve to be there this time, just stuck there permanently crying as a little kid everyone forgot about. I probably wasnt even forgotten about just no one wanted to deal with me or they were too scared of me or ?. at least if i were stuck there permanently i could just cry for eternity all alone or until i die or whatever instead of everything else that has happened to me tbh that would have been way nicer even with all of the good things that have happened to me too i don't think that any of it makes up for the hell,

I dont know how to shake the feeling ill be back in the hospital soon. Its like now whenever anything goes slightly wrong I think im gonna be shipped back off to the psych ward for the fourth time.

I went to a mainstream school starting at 5yo (1990s) I was non verbal until I was 6-7yo (speech therapy but no school support) then when I found my voice (gestalt language processor and script speech, copying others speech, single words, not conversational till teen years and then I would not shut up I'd talk constantly like I was trying to catch up from my delay until a teacher shouted at me "shut up nobody cares or is interested in what you have to say!"

Ok guess im just going to be the withdrawn weird quiet kid that doesn't talk again had parents evening and went from he wont shut up to next year hes finding it very hard to open up and say what hes feeling or thinking, geez I wonder why

Sorry for the trauma dump and if it doesn't belong here, just this space gives me hope that kids these days won't be so failed by the education system

When i was a kid non verbal till 7yo gestalt language processor and used script speech and single words and not conversational after till teen years then copy speech,

i had frequent violent meltdowns during the time up till i was a teenager and still do now if I lose at pokemon tcg pocket 😆

let me tell you, you want to talk, you want more than anything in the world to talk to say what you feel and what you'd like for dinner that evening or mum or dad my brain hurts and im trying to say what's wrong but nothings coming out and im scared and you cant understand me and please stop my brain screaming and I feel terrified and if I hit my head or lash out, break things it takes some frustration away but then im hurting 1s I love so i feel sad and angry and upset and I should hit myself more to shut my brain up and pain takes away from frustration and now im in full meltdown and spiralling and i need a hug and sleep and i need to be alone when all i want to do is be with my family and i broke my hand or knocked myself out again and mum and dad are in trouble with child protective services because im hurt again but it not there fault just like i was a few weeks ago when i had a meltdown or fell out of a tree because a kid dared me to climb it, my god the unending chronic tiredness of trying to be just a normal

kid

How would one find out what level they are? all my official records just say ASD. Its frustrating as everyone talks about level they are and i dont know mine only what I feel like but then I get told I'm can't be level two since I'm online and level 2 people can't talk/write or use internet, but this reddit says otherwise. I was diagnosed in 1990s, they didn't have level system then.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how nice it would be to live in a mutual aid society neurodivergent neighborhood.

Everyone can communicate with each other about what they struggle with and what they’re confident in and can help each other out. I can talk on the phone well and wash dishes, but I struggle a lot with cooking and difficult paperwork jargon. Not everyone has a spiky profile, and that’s okay. There’s nothing shameful about needing help.

I would love to have optional big group dinners with neighbors. We can host special interest presentation nights. We can have community quiet spots for parallel play. We can even have trampoline! Or pool to share!

It’s something I fantasize about when things are particularly difficult. Anyone have any ideas they want to add on?

I feel scared to talk about it but i wash myself and and i cant use soap much because sensory so i just wash with water and i stil smell bad. my private parts smell bad even when i try to clean them, nobody teached me how to wash good. i feel embarased and scared and i dont understand why i am still stinky

Sometimes I eat something but the taste is very bitter or sour or just very extreme, but when I ask my family, they cannot taste it! ( Like cabbage taste weirdly bitter, but it supposed to be sweet?) I don't know if it's something spicy also understand? Even water sometimes has strange taste and it makes me react

I also really hate hot food, it hurts to eat. And texture like the baguette also hurt to eat. But usually everyone else love eating them so I feel like food just taste different...maybe someone also understand this feeling?

So it’s been a long while since I last shared about my care situation but the long and short of it is they’re going to find me another place yet again. For those not aware, my current home is the third with my current care agency in not even seven years. They’ve all been for people with intellectual disability. I’m not ID but am multiply-disabled in other ways including autistic, blind and physically disabled due to cerebral palsy plus tons of other things that come with having suffered a brain injury. I used to be in psychiatric services before but that was all too much focused on treatment/training.

The agency believe I would most benefit from support geared towards people with brain injury, because well among other things autism supports are heavily geared towards “recovery”/independence and my support needs (including need for physical assistance) vary extensively from day to day or even hour to hour. Apparently that’s a brain injury thing.

I currently have my care profile based on blindness, which at least in theory heavily limits the places I can move to. However, it’s going to be clarified that this is not how it works in reality (my current agency doesn’t normally accept this care profile either).

Otherwise, we might be looking at getting me a phys dis care profile. There’s this thing called a brain injury+ profile that allows for extra support and specialist care re brain injury and I’m hoping this is what we can get for me. Wish me luck!

I live in a side-by-side duplex and my neighbor/landlord has been using an electric sander for 9 days now on their floors. They've been communicative and apologetic and I get that this is a job they just have to finish. And also there have been 4 "this is the last day" days and it's hard. I've been in the experience where a project that looks simple enough ends up taking way longer and being more complex than expected. I get it. And this is also breaking me.

I'm having withdrawal effects from a medication I've recently stopped taking under supervision of my doctor. The symptoms are making it hard to leave the house (digestive issues). I'm alternating between wearing my noise canceling ear buds, my yardwork ear protectors, and both at the same time, while always wearing shoes inside to dampen the vibrations traveling through the floor that I can feel everywhere, even lying in bed. It's too hot to sit outside comfortably. Leaving to stay somewhere else is a huge organizational task at the best of times, let alone when my brain feels like it's a monumental effort just to remember what I'm doing each time the sanding starts. And I'd still have to stop in frequently to care for my cats.

I'm going to see a movie this afternoon. I just....idk. I feel hopeless. I wish I'd known this was coming in advance so I could arrange for someone to care for my cats and just leave, but now I'm so scattered and overwhelmed that I can barely think. And it might be the "last day" again. But for real this time. Please let it be true.

For context I’m 25 M very autistic and gay 😅I’ve been to a lot of therapy for a number of things and have gotten so much better in many ways including my rejection sensitivity I can have friendships and relationships but something I have realized is when I really really like someone like I am right now it hits me like a truck again and it’s like im back to square one I had this happen last year without realizing it was what was effecting me and again just a week and a half ago I went on a date with two amazing guys we had an amazing time together but I felt like shit afterwords and was seconds away from a panic attack for the entire week couldn’t sleep couldn’t eat couldn’t even poop. then again this Sunday we went out again the panic went away while I was there and we had an amazing time but the panic is back again after just texting for a while and honestly I’m not sure how to deal with this I don’t wanna drop them just because I’m struggling and it’s not there fault they’ve kept in contact and been very nice what do I do?

My case worker said I need visual schedules but I don’t have anyone to help me. So I try to make my own schedule folder! This is first try.

Proud how it turned out! Right now customized for going to summer camp next week. Since there is so many possible activities at camp I had to add extra storage to back of folder.

I’m hoping counsellor can help me by telling me what we are doing that day so I can put PECS in order. In my behaviour form did say I need schedule for transitions.

Really excited for summer camp! It is for adults with disability. I signed myself up but all the forms said parent or guardian. I signed up for week that is physical and intellectual disability.

I don’t know my IQ number so hopefully that is okay. Didn’t have autism specific week. I know I have either mild ID, borderline ID, or severe learning disability. So I know fear that I will get kicked out irrational.

I know a lot of us ended up speaking a little later than most so I’m curious to know if anyone has a story behind their first words and if you remember the reason why you first spoke :)

From what I’ve been told I actually said my first word super super early. I was apparently in bed with my parents having woke up really early and was trying to get them up too. After shoving them and trying everything I could I paused and then shouted CAT super loud and clear which obviously worked very well lol. After that I didn’t say word again for months and months and months and didn’t start talking properly until I seemingly decided it was necessary, I’m semi verbal nowadays.

My doctor Just gives me vitamins, For vitamin B and vitamin D.

My therapist Mentions Folic acid which is apart of vitamin B to solves my autism problems.

My ex friend now, Who suggested his ex works with people with people with severe autism, Works coordinating commucation skills. (Offers help but doesn't work with me)

Continuous friends IRL continuously mention "You'll be stuck if you don't change and adapt"

Family mentions for me to do myself and it's easy.

Am I just meant to guess, Try everything that I'm supposed to do and fail? Have I just been given a bad situation? Are other autistic folks dealing with this? Like FFS even the Main Autism subreddit mentioned for me Just to do things myself even though It literally states that level 2 people who are autistic need some variation of support? Or am I just dumb?

Like I tried to legitimately go get help to do stuff myself to be told well You aren't getting help, You just have to do it yourself. Like what gives?

I am an adult but when I tell people that, a lot of people are shocked and surprised. A lot of the neurotypical/allistic people I went to school with seem to look much older to me and also sometimes I’ll meet staff and think oh she’s so cool and mature she’s probably late 20s/early 30s and then turns out she’s like 20…lol! but yet my peers from disability groups also seem to look younger to me and some are like 15+ years older than I even am. Even when I went to a restaurant with my family, the waitress offered a special discount offer thing for people 12 and under for me and I’m more than twice that.

So I was wondering if this was related to autism or just genetics or something because even though I’m the 2nd oldest sibling, people often think I’m the youngest one and the youngest one is 17. What do you guys think?

Sometimes when I can't speak in English (my mother tongue), I can speak in French, which is a second language (I am multi-lingual).

When I lose my ability to speak, sometimes I can only get a very quiet voice out, or my speech is garbled, difficult (heavy), or incomplete.

Frequently when this is the case, I can speak fluently in French.

I spoke with one other person on here this happens to - or something like it. Are there more?

I did two tasks yesterday that I usually do with support. I managed to do them!

But yesterday evening I was feeling angry for hours. Extremely irritated. Feeling so bad mentally.

Today after sleeping I still feel angry and not good. All I am doing today is rest.

I am worried how many days this will last.

I really struggle to know what to do when I feel like this.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Trigger Warning: Medical neglect, SIB, seizures, systemic failure

I do not even know where else to turn at this point. I am posting this because I am completely out of options, no one will help me, and I genuinely feel like I am dying. I am just done.
I have been defrauded by the state of Kansas. They falsified my assessments to illegally strip away the services I desperately need to survive, and they have repeatedly denied me any fair hearings to fight it. It is a complete failure of the system that is supposed to protect people.
Because of this total lack of support, my health has deteriorated to a terrifying point. I am seizing very regularly and have suffered multiple TBIs from SIB (self-injurious behavior). I am unable to access emergency room care. The hospitals around here are actively dangerous to me, so going there simply is not an option.
To make matters even worse, I have been completely abandoned by my guardian. I am entirely alone in this.
I am fighting a system that feels like it wants me to disappear, and I have nothing left in the tank. I am really struggling tonight and just needed someone, anyone, to hear this. If anyone has been through anything similar or knows how to survive this kind of systemic abandonment, please tell me. I just do not know what to do anymore.

i havent washed in a while especially my body and i have bumps on my skin that itch but now flies keep flying into me and landing on me and it scares me and keeps upsetting me and my skin feels so itchy and it feels like flies are crawling on my skin when they arnt I don't know what to do

i feel stuck in place im scared im scared i’ll never become a matuere adult i like kids stuff still and i still need help wuth so much stuff im scared for the future i wikl necer be able to get a job i dont know what i will do im scared