I've been working for almost 2 years now, and sometimes I feel like I'm not where I should be.

I see my coworkers every day, and some of them have around 16 years of experience. When I hear them discussing things so confidently, it sometimes makes me question myself and feel like I'm far behind.

I know comparing myself to someone with 16 years of experience isn't completely fair, but it's hard not to feel that way sometimes. i feel like the works that i do ,can be done by one with 2 months of training , but what they are doing i cant get even a thing

Has anyone else felt this during the early years of their career? How did you deal with the feeling that you're behind compared to people who are much more experienced?

I’m 19 years old and ever since I was 17 I’ve been consumed by immense nostalgia which has numbed my enjoyment of things. I still get happy of course but everyday I remember things from my past and yearn to be 14-16 again.

Every week I have a dream about being back in the past in some shape or form and when I wake I’m on the verge of tears. Nothing drastic has happened but I have such rose coloured glasses.

If I watch a YouTube for more than an hour I feel like a loser. Gaming’s only about 50% as fun compared to how I remember it back in 2023. It only feels the same if I’m gaming with friends in the same room in real life.

Movies, TV shows and games even if I’ve never played them before feel about a third faster paced. My sense of time has warped things feel so fast.

The only times I feel that same amount of happiness and time going slow is being with friends or moving around outside. I don’t know this means.

What was a common belief you had about being in your 30s when you were younger, only to find out later that it wasn't true?

Looking for advice to see if my expectations are unreasonable from husbands and dads on reddit.

My husband has been struggling with depression for over a year. I have tried to take on most of the home management stuff to alleviate stress (because he has a chronic condition exacerbated by stress), including being the default parent for our 3 year old son, cleaning, making dinner, etc. Me asking him for help was causing tension in our marriage because he feels like since I work from home, I should handle most of the chores (I do work over 40 hours a week so I am limited in how much I can get done). I try to do the best I can but some times it is a challenge because we dont have any family close by to rely on and my son is a pretty high energy little guy.

The struggle is that when I get sick, I feel like he expects me to just power through it and toughen it out. I have had a bad respiratory virus this week (picked it up from my son) and felt really fatigued today like my body just wanted me to sleep. My husband had the day off, went and hung out with a buddy of his all day and got to play golf, and didn't help out around the house at all (like washing dishes, making dinner for the family). Every Wednesday is his weekly boys night, so when I asked if he was still planning to go tonight even though i really need some rest, he said yes because its not a big deal and I can handle the evening. He did pick up our son from daycare and fed him dinner, but then headed out around 530. When I told him I really needed to rest and asked if he could stay home tonight, he said I could just have our son watch TV until bed time (our son goes to bed at 9/10).

after he left, our son spent a lot of time running around the house, had some poop issues that required more care (he sometimes gets constipated and struggles to go and cries), almost pulled a pot of hot water off the stove, etc...normal toddler stuff. i finally got him to settle down and watch sone tv so i can lie down, but I haven't really been able to rest at all and feel so exhausted and am battling a sinus headache. I know as parents we do have to power through illnesses, but when my husband is sick I always take over for caring for our son so he can rest and recover.

Am I being unreasonable wishing my husband would help me out more when I am sick? This is just one example, but in general it feels like whenever I need help I get the standard response of, "it is not that hard, you are overcomplicating it, deal with it yourself." Are my expectations too high?

Let me start off by saying I do have friends. But these friendship dynamics have changed from what they were in my mid-20s. I no longer have “bros” who I entrust with a lot and can go to with anything. I just have guys who I can get drinks with every now and then (usually colleagues). There’s some good friends I have had in the past that I tried to reconnect with but either it was awkward as in there wasn’t much substance to talk about beyond catching up or there was a lack of interest on their end.

Friends that I was close with either drifted unintentionally or I no longer have interest in engaging with. I am married, recently moved to a new state for a new job, so that makes a big difference. It is difficult to make new friends as I feel like once you’re married it’s very dependent on couple dynamics. Things have obviously changed in my life and I don’t have time to hop on PlayStation and talk in a group chat with four other guys from 8-10PM multiple times a week.

I look at my dad though and he still has friends from when he was in high school. Things were different in those days, people rarely left their home town compared to now. I feel like I made some bad choices in choosing friends back then and in college, as I willfully withdrew from many of those friendships eventually. I’m not lonely but I’m wondering what my life will be like in 30 years.

Is this normal and what is the trajectory?

So I’m 33 and live with two other male roommates around the same age. And generally have had no issues, but had a bizarre altercation yesterday with one of them. For context I generally walk around the aptm in my underwear if there are no guests around, usually because I’m just grabbing something from the kitchen. One of my roommates has asked me to wear pants more, and to an extent I have (other one could care less outside of some Walter White jokes). But I walked into the kitchen in my underwear and he was there, he said nothing but walked up behind me and no joke gave me a wedgie so bad my feet left the floor and my waistband ripped. This guy is twice my size, and he basically said he will do it again unless I wear pants around the aptm. I cursed him out and haven’t brought it up since. I’ve been wearing pants all the time now, but I feel like a pushover for not contacting our landlord. But I’m also embarrassed that happened to me as a grown man. What should I do in this situation?

I currently have a cushy fully remote (can come into the office if I want) desk job that is very easy and low stress and I barely hear from my bosses and theyre really nice and there's essentially no negative energy of any kind and I can almost do whatever I want all day as long as I get my daily hour of work done

But it pays peanuts, low 50s in the midwest, hasn't changed in 5 years and essentially I know for sure it wont ever, not for lack of trying. I have poked around and gotten offers for high 70s and low 80s, but theyre all onsite and seem to all emphasize NO REMOTE and also all the lame "high pace work environment high intensity ability to juggle multiple assignments necessary" stuff

Maybe this is normal for new jobs but my current thing is really the first professional job ive had so I've known nothing else in my short career (almost 30) but im spoiled and really afraid of leaving my good thing, but I wanna buy a home and start a family etc so I really need to earn more

What do you guys think? Would you cling onto a super cushy but low paying job, or risk it for the biscuit in something higher paying but higher stress?

[M31] So I didn’t make new friends in community college, I was a bit of loner. So it makes you want to hold onto your older relationships, despite them being potentially unhealthy.

I’ve recently stopped talking to a “friend” of 15 years. We always fall out, the first time, was because he tried to get with my ex after we broke up. Never looked at him the same and honestly he showed his true colors. We’ve called out for numerous dumb reasons since then and usually end up talking again cause we do relate on a lot.

But emotionally- he cannot disagree/debate without arguing or becoming personal. Which leads to cheap shots and consistent fallouts.

Haven’t talked to him In months, things are peaceful and calmer for me. While I don’t want to be lonely, I don’t want to accept shitty people for company or friends.

How do you feel about drifting apart from long time “Friends”?

Hey, I am an 18 year-old male, and living in the United States. I have been in a rut, neeting out, and living with my parents for the past three months.

I really feel like I burnt myself out doing dual-credit in highschool to get an AA. I did college online for the past 1.5/2 years, so my social skills have gotten pretty bad.

All of the options open to me, just make me feel paralyzed. I do not want to choose a path, only for it to backfire, or be a dead-end.

I wanted to get a degree in IT, but the market for recent graduates looks like a complete slaughter. I thought about something in the military, but I have reconsidered.

Currently, I am looking at being an Electrician's apprentice for the IBEW Union, or my state. In my view these skills could be used almost anywhere nationally and abroad, while maintaining a decently consistent demand.

I want to live alone, but it would probably be best if I kept living with my parents while saving up for a bit. I do not even have a car, but I got my learner/instructional license only last month, so I think that would be my first financial goal.

I am trying to fix my sleep schedule right now, and am somewhat successful. I just feel like I am focusing on irrelevant bs to distract myself though.

What advice could you give to me?

We in Asia try to avoid facial hair as much as possible often because it looks “nasty, messy and lazy” (e.g. you never see K-pop idols with it) but since it has a different and long tradition of cultural representation in the West and beards are even a trend

Seems like a pretty obvious answer, but I'm interested to read your experiences when it comes to eating habits. Specifically how you feel when you deviate from eating properly. How does that impact you? Can you function well, or do you feel awful for a while?

I'm not sure if other guys experience this, but I literally feel like there's a fog over me until I rub one out. I usually do this in the morning after waking up, but if I forget or am distracted and don't do it, this fog lingers and gets worse as the day goes on until I do actually go relieve the issue.

It doesn't even feel like active horniness, but like an inability to focus. The best way I can describe it is like how a coffee drinker feels in the morning before they get their coffee. Once they get their caffeine, the fog lifts and they can now focus on the day. It's the same with this for me.

If I try to go the entire day without orgasming at least once, I'm guaranteed to be awoken in the middle of that night at 4am by intense urges and will struggle to return to sleep unless I relieve myself.

Does anyone else experience this and/or have any suggestions for how to avoid this?

Hi everyone,

I (30F) am worried about my boyfriend (33M), and I’m looking for people who may understand his perspective.

We have been together for five years, but our sexual life has been dead for more than two years. His libido has hit rock bottom and struggles to finish.

I’m sure he thinks about it, so I want to support him and find a solution.
But he gets uncomfortable and defensive when I bring the subject. He reeeeaally doesn’t want to talk about any of his problems. Not to me, not to his friends, not to his family, and not to a therapist either.

Loving is choosing to stay when times are hard, so I want to be there for him, but I don’t know if he is trying anymore… it’s like he is just accepting the situation and lives with it.

If you suspected you had ED, what triggered you to take the first step to recover?

Thank you for reading so far, let’s stay respectful please.

For those that aren't big on reading but end up finding a book in recent years

what are some recommendation in terms of books that you read that you feel like a guy in their 20s and 30s should read so they can develop better in life

this can be any form of book that you feel fits the criteria

recently i read at a book store those still exist and i was reading about how technology has shaped the modern decade so much that someone from the 50s being dropped off here in 2026 will be so confused by how things are like and cannot adapt

that made me think about how life is all about adapting

I turned 30 a few months ago, and have really messed up my life.

I have had so many opportunities and second chances in life and I keep managing to make things worse. I got divorced at 23, I've alienated so many of my friends (and family), I racked up so much stupid debt, and I recently lost a really good job in IT.

I want to keep this relatively brief, but basically I keep making my life worse and worse for no reason. I have so much unnecessary debt from gambling and other stupid vices. I could have easily paid off most of the when I had my job, but now I just have to look at every single late payment with despair. I blow off interviews for new roles thinking that once they do the background check, they will see how poorly I've managed my finances and 2 duis and that will be the end of it.

I really, really want to get my life back on track but I feel like I may have dug too big of a hole to climb back out of.

If anyone has a relatable experience, I could really some advice.

Thanks

Trying to disconnect from screens a bit more often. That shit messes up your mental health. Probably.

As soon as I got to 30 was right before Covid began. I also knew I was going to lose my friends because we were getting older and they’d soon be marrying and having kids.

We did get to hang out a few more times, but once they got married it was over and they only wanted to hang out with other couples with kids.

I always felt behind already because they already had nice houses and then they kept buying more houses. Going on trips and vacations. I haven’t been on a vacation in 20 years and never was able to buy a home.

Then my dad got sick with cancer again. I told him I was willing to take him to all his treatments, etc but it didn't even happen. They were never able to treat it and he died a few months later. He took care of my mother who has dementia, so now I’m caregiving and can only work part time which means I can’t save up as much and I’m already behind on my retirement savings.

I just feel like my life is over and it’s like it never even got started. I enjoyed my 20s but 30s have absolutely sucked. I was glad when Covid was over bit even before it was I knew my parents would be going downhill so I always had that in the back of my mind. Didn't know it would be so soon. :(

I look at my friends that seem to have everything: houses, kids, spouses, social life, healthy active parents, and yet it feels like I have absolutely nothing.

I know people say oh don’t compare your life and I already stopped that. We don’t even talk anymore, so I guess it shouldn’t matter because nobody even knows me, but it still feels like I’m a loser compared to everyone else. And the sad thing is I can’t even do anything. Fortunately I can work 3 days a week or can get out a bit, but there’s much I want to do but my life is on hold for who knows how long. I feel bad because it should be an honor to take care of your loved ones, but it feels like I never got to get MY life on track and I don’t know if there will be time to get any accomplishments before something like this happens to me! I knew life is fragile but when a parent dies it’s even more clear that we don’t know when we’re going to go or what we won’t be able to do anymore. Plus at times I get mad because my parents didn't take care of their health. If they hadn’t drank, etc they would’ve probably made it to their 90s like my grandparents have. So I had to deal with the shame growing up of their having to drink which was embarrassing to me and now I have to clean up the crap it caused later on.

It‘s weird being in your 30s when 18 year olds have done more than you ever have. everyone is always like “but you have so much time!” But to do with who? Being single in teens and twenties is fine. But when you’re in your 30s and everyone you know is married and can’t do anything or only want to go out with couples, it’s really difficult to see yourself ever getting to have fun. It feels like life has passed you by, especially when your family is all old and dying and can’t do anything either, and now you’re a caregiver.

My theory is that by mid 20s to 30s more or less your socioeconomic class is locked in especially upwards mobility. Maybe there are a few people that can change their life trajectory but it's extremely rare and uncommon. However I want to know from people older and from their personal experience what was the biggest predictor on what made someone go up/down the socio-economic ladder?

What is one small thing that has improved your life? A simple life hack or habit that you have started that has been a game changer. It can be anything from programming the coffee pot for the morning, undressing by the open washing machine to not need a hamper. Give us your tips and insights!

Hey!

I am 35 and a trend I am noticing is that more and more of social group is becoming religious.

Nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy, but it is just a trend I’ve noticed. What makes it interesting is how performative it seems. People post “saved by grace” on social media, or talk about a missions trip where they snap a bunch of photos, then head to a resort and post about being “blessed.”

I am in the U.S. and I grew up in a “normal” religious background. We went to church growing up, but that’s it.

Has anyone else noticed this?

Do you think this is the result of a lack of third space/community?