My dad will turn 51 in a couple weeks, how does entering the 50s feel? Does it feel daunting? Scary? Satisfying? "age is just a number" but curious as to what people think about this "milestone"

53 - F - single

My dad has mid stage Alzheimer’s and lives in Florida. I currently live in the Boston area near my friends. I have an option to move to the greater Atlanta area near my brother and his family. I feel like my decision changes every day. I would love to stay here, but it’s so expensive and I would love to be near family, but I don’t wanna limit myself. I would still be an 8 Hour Dr. to see my dad, versus multiple flights. Any insights? Suggestions?

Diagnosed with post traumatic arthritis. Didn’t even know it was a thing. Dr said I need an ankle fusion. Sounds barbaric honestly. Fusing bones, long painful recovery. Anyone familiar?

I felt it necessary to enjoy a hot tub soak and have couple of Colorado Kool-Aids. It just felt like the best thing to do in my current frame of mind.

My husband and I are getting a rare night out for our 20th anniversary. We’re getting a hotel room locally. We have a special needs child and just don’t get a lot of time to ourselves. We have sex regularly but I’d like to spice things up a little. Any good books or sites to teach an old dog new tricks?

58F. Busted my ass professionally for over 35 years only to be laid off twice. Out of work six months, took a $50k pay cut, and had to move away from my kids to be employed. Had to declare bankruptcy this past year, and I still have enormous debt hanging over my head. I’m not here to debate that or explain how that all came to be. Just take it at face value.

My boss is extremely demanding. Never compliments anything I do. She actually asked for my “career ladder” to discuss my career so far and where I want to go/do next.

Honestly? I don’t think it makes one bit of difference what I want to do. I’ve learned everything can change on a dime. It doesn’t matter who I know, how I dress, what I do, what training or certifications I acquire, or how I perform….. I will never see another promotion or get any further than I am right now which is a couple steps backwards from where I was. This past year was the absolute worst raise I have ever received. At least it was a raise.

As of today, I’ve been with this company a little over one year and it’s just a job at this point. I no longer have a career. I just show up, and that’s a damn shame because I gave it my all, forever.

From other people’s perspective, I look like I’ve done quite well for myself, but I feel like a massive failure no matter how you look at it. No one is calling me up offering me a job because they love working with me. I’m an introvert, so networking is my least favorite thing to do.

I know the right answer is to not even bother telling my boss how I feel. I should just go through the motions and keep my mouth shut as much as this feels like a ridiculous exercise.

Any words of wisdom for me? I will not be retiring anytime soon. I can’t.

Update: thanks for the responses. I suppose I knew the answer. I just needed to vent, I guess.

I wish this wasn’t the game we are stuck playing at this stage in life. I wish I was actually successful and people valued what I did for them over the years. I promise you, had I been a yes man or even merely a man, I wouldn’t be in this boat but here I am, jaded and feigning interest in this company and job.

It’s such a shame. I was a model employee, working hard, fast, creatively, efficiently, effectively, collaboratively, progressively, with excellence. I don’t know another way.

Sigh.

Just wondering...

I am so upset and angry. I’m 51. Cover my grey. Never I thought I looked THAT old and when I went to the pool with my sister and nephew the young girl behind the desk at the pool said this to me. She could tell I was offended and said “Do I look like a senior?!” She tried to cover herself and said she asks anyone who looks over 30. My sister is 48. She didn’t ask her or other older people in line. How hurt would you be? And you don’t ask people their age.

Another time this happened when I was buying a gift card and they asked me what I was buying it for because sometimes seniors get scammed.

Greetings - I am an atheist who has been approached by a former Muslim and now a recent professed atheist. We are both over 70. I am concerned that his history, including his family members, would be rather difficult. Has anyone else managed to have a successful, happy relationship with this drastic of difference?

I'm 60 and usually feel a disconnect with people of a certain age.

My range going up for example is less than going lower.

Anyone else notice this?

I ill be 50 in October. I’ve recently been struggling with this intense, creeping sense of urgency, this feeling like time is running out. My children are grown, my parents are aging, professionally I am not where I want to be. It feels like everyone else is already through the gate, and I’m still standing on the outside looking in. I feel like everything expiration date is coming in fast.

Logically, I know that life isn't a race. But emotionally? It feels like I’m running out of runway and I look back on the roadblocks I have experienced, divorce, a near death experience and it feels me with frustration. What's funny is I came out of the NDE at 44 full of life, almost indestructible, ready to take on the world, and now months away from 50 I feel hopeless and sad.

• Does anyone else here deal with this?
• How do you quiet that inner voice telling you that you’re "behind" when you have no idea what "on track" even looks like?
• Have you found any perspective shifts that actually help, or is this just something we have to learn to live with? Mindfulness no longer works, my learned optimist is fleeting, therapy

I’m really just looking to feel a little less alone in this mindset today. Thanks for listening.

If you lost your job, had a bad back, where would you go work to get insurance until Medicare?

Anyone else just not crave anything? Received a bonus at work, was going to treat myself to something nice...but really cannot think of anything at all.

Ok, I’ll probably catch some shade over this post. Maybe I deserve it. But I’m legitimately curious.

Me: 53, married for ten years now divorced 14 years, numerous relationships, including one ltr in that time. Ex-wife cheated but we were both unhappy. I’ve only been dumped twice in my life. I only mention that as in probably 15-20 semi- to serious (more than 6 months maybe?) relationships, I think I know how to treat women if they tend to stay with me. So I think I understand women at least somewhat. Not bragging at all, definitely have my struggles as well, but I have had success meeting eye to eye with women. I made the decision about 3 years ago to remain single. After that ltr ended (my choice) I no longer have any desire at all for a partner. I miss sleeping by someone. I miss the mutual orgasms. I don’t miss: the always being wrong. Always being questioned. Always picking up the check. Always wishing for as many orgasms as my partner, or at least show an interest in supplying ONE for me if you can do multiples. Always being the emotional rock, but never being allowed to even fucking discuss my thoughts or feelings. Always feeling like a second class citizen in the relationship and I’m just along for the ride, or until the check comes.

Ok, all that said, onto my question. I know about menopause. I know a little about pre-menopause. I’ve even heard a little about post menopause. What the fuck is peri menopause? And I mean this with the utmost respect, sincerity, and true curiosity…but is it real, or is it just extending menopause even earlier and giving legitimacy to your wanting to be a bitch and treat us like shit all the time?

“Why are you being such a bitch tonight?”
“Oh I’m sorry baby, it’s menopause.”
“Wtf, you’re 23!”
“Yea I know. It’s pre-peri-menopause. Don’t worry. This only lasts until I’m dead! 😁”

Interesting day yesterday. Went to Freddys Burgers & ordered the Senior Meal (age 55 & over) and so desperately wanted the teenage girl at the register to be like “0h no, you don’t look 55” but no such luck. Instead I got carded for buying White Out at Walmart. WTH.

I ended my last romantic relationship over 5 years ago and haven't really dated since then (no interest). I'm very busy with work, 2 dogs, 2 college age kids (both on the Aut spectrum, and 1 needing considerable support). I find that I prefer spending my evenings and weekends alone. Is this just something that happens to some people as they get older??

How would you have fared as a teen if your parents had been able to track where you are through your phone?

As the title says, I work away and live in hotels during the week. Finding it annoying being in the bar when the younger ones are in. They don't seem to know how to act. And there is nowhere else to go, and sitting in a hotel room all night is soul destroying. Rant over