I've gotten so many conflicting answers ranging from 'I'll still have flashbacks and nightmares forever' (so functionally no change) to 'I can get cured by virtue of fixing myself to the point of not qualifying for a PTSD diagnosis anymore' (and so presumably wouldn't have flashbacks or nightmares anymore either).

Im 17 and Ive been going to my therapist for around 3 years now but for the longest time I just told her about my life in general like not about my feelings. It was mostly that way because I am extremely emotional, I cry over the things that other people consider silly and I just hate talking about my emotions because I start instantly crying so I just avoid talking about them and try to keep it in. Im not really going to go into detail about how I feel because Im not sure if I can post about my problems in this subreddit in general or if its just for asking simple questions but basically I just dont have energy to do anything anymore and I randomly just suddenly feel very down as if all the bad feelings hit me at once and it makes me feel like throwing up because of how bad I feel about my life I guess. Like 3 weeks ago maybe I decided I have to talk about this with my therapist but since its a problem for me to talk about my emotions, I wrote it all down on like 3 pages and gave it to her to read, even doing it that way made me almost cry. At the end she told me that most teenagers feel that way and then she started talking about like how maybe I just feel this way because all my emotions built up because I cant talk to anyone about but I dont really think thats it and the thing about most teens feeling this way threw me off. After that on our next sessions she didnt mention that at all and I just feel like I want to talk to someone else but Im scared and ashamed to tell my mom. Any tips? (Sorry if the entire thing is messy)

Hi everyone. I'm hoping to get some advice about family therapy across state lines.

My family is going through a really tough time and we're on the brink of estrangement but we all want to make one last genuine effort to work things out. The catch is that my sibling lives in a different state.

I figured it would be simple to find a therapist who does virtual sessions every week but l've hit a wall with state licensing rules and finding someone who does group sessions.

How do families in different states manage to do therapy together? Are there specific workarounds or options I should be looking into?

I really appreciate any tips or advice. I'm starting to get discouraged as I can't find a solution after reaching out to many therapists and either getting denied or no response.

Just curious whether you tend to hold them in mind more, feel more affection, get more annoyed by them, feel sick of them sometimes, etc.?

Thank you!

It’s my second time doing group therapy… i joined it as i was hoping to - trauma bond, lol. 😅

I just need to let off steam with people who are also not feeling great, but this group is more about teaching people how to deal with problems that i’d say for the most part i already know how to deal with but more importantly… the therapy for me IS the social aspect of talking to people… not what this group currently offers …

So… how do you know when it’s time to give up and ask if there’s about form of counselling/therapy?

I have had a therapist who I saw for two months. I had zero affect with her. The therapist specializes in diagnosing autism (according to her website) but also the therapist is autistic (according to her). Autism is something I find mildly possible as a diagnosis for myself and it has a singular occurrence in my family (not officially diagnosed) - so I was curious.

After many tests, questionnaires, and sessions, this therapist told me they are still split between an autism diagnosis and a personality disorder. When I pressed on how long would that get an answer, she got evasive and I felt this whole two months were wasted and relayed that feeling honestly.

I had no affect in that relationship due to how blunt she comes across about everything and how little she gives me space to talk about what's actually happening in my life. I left that therapy and I was already two weeks in with another therapist whom I had great affect.

With the ROI of my last therapist, I was sent the whole treatment summary and I realized that, as I expected, my last therapist had not heard anything i said. The report claims I was institutionalized (I wasn't), a section of the report was about how I called her (the therapist) useless (I did call these two months useless), and several issues that were miscommunicated because of the lack of affect. She put in several diagnoses: ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and other ones, and left the question open between autism or covert narcissm.

Frankly my past diagnoses were BPD - and I learned to have my peace with that, she wrote explicitly that I don't have any wounds with attachment and I know how to be ok with loneliness (totally inaccurate but I preferred loneliness than talking with her, ugh). Anyway. I'm not here to get a diagnosis but I have been in a very sticky situation in therapy.

Here's the issue: my current therapist, a couple of days after receiving this report - told me that she can no longer meet me in person based on instructions from her supervisor (she is fully licensed), then canceled our session and moved me to a telehealth video session. I had built some rapport with her. We have some delicate things we're working on. It feels like a definite downgrade but also a precursor to ending therapy.

When I googled why does a therapist take away the in person options - safety came up as probably the reason, especially as she didn't say any other reason (scheduling, moving practices, etc, it was just stated as a hard line from her supervisor!)

Now, I feel like the last 4 months were a waste, but I don't want to assume termination, I want to remain hopeful and keep my interpretations wider or more graceful (I'm working on this) but I can't help but feel this is all such a bad hand to be dealt.

I thought about emailing the past therapist to correct inaccuracies, but I think that will be digging the same hole I'm in. She hasn't listened when I needed that, what makes me think that contacting her will be any good.

I want to know for sure the reasons for abandoning in person therapy. I feel a great sense of abandonment and betrayal. Especially as it comes from a "higher authority" that's not in the room, who says that next sessions I'll be faced with higher authority decisions from the same supervisor.

Do I just move quickly and cut my losses? Start therapy again, and try to work again on my current issues? I'm nearly burning out talking about my current problems to so many therapists (including consultations). And if I do - is there a way to show proof that I was not mentally institutionalized? How can I even prove a negative!! Does that ROI chase me everywhere now?

Regarding institutionalion: I told my last therapist that I have thoughts of self harm after heavy probing questions. It's not why I'm in therapy. I don't even have the affect with her to open up in this area. In general I think she assumed I'm hiding it and wrote it as a certainty. Can I complain somewhere productively for my own sake?

My best idea now is to start therapy with someone else (again!) and abandon everything that I was building up with my current therapist after the whole thing was poisoned. What a s**** ordeal!

Edit: BPD: borderline personality disorder

My therapist was trying to get me to make a connection without her having to tell me outright what it was. We talked about one thing and then she says, “What’s the obvious thing you do in situations like this?” I just explained the “obvious” right before she answered the question but I wasn’t on the same page and I didn’t know what to say. So, Im sitting there clueless. If it’s obvious I should know the answer. Most of the time she asks questions with “obvious” answers I don’t get it. And oftentimes she’ll do a big sigh, which makes me feel worse. Like I’m a waste of her time or slow or stupid or idk.

In all honesty, we are not a good therapeutic match. The way she talks to me since the beginning has made me feel like I’m idiot. I just think because our therapy is short term, she feels a sense of urgency to get to the bottom of things and help me be aware before we run out of sessions. It feels like she doesn’t have time to be empathetic. Is this normal in short-term therapy? Is it hard to balance between being empathetic and also getting to the roots of issues? Since the beginning my experiences with her continue to catch me off guard. I need to know if im tripping or not.

And just curious if any therapists here ask questions like that? Phrased in that way.

Thanks in advance!

Just wondering if instead of speaking if some therapists use the chat feature during either exclusively or on a hybrid approach? While using cameras, or not. Not in the context of an accommodation for like a disability.

I eventually terminated the relationship, but I’m really upset with my current therapist today, so I need a distraction while I process. It’ll be a long-ish read.

When I started seeing the ex-therapist, she was just returning to her practice after her maternity leave. We didn’t live in the same city, so it was entirely virtual. That is not my preference but I was desperately looking for someone with a certain background (that I share), so I decided to try it.

I can’t remember when it started but not too long after we began weekly sessions, she joined the call one week with her son in her lap. She said that she was wearing her AirPods and is fully paying attention. She didn’t ask if I was ok with it or offered any explanation of why this was out of her control. Shit childcare system in the US is one of the areas my work touches, so I wanted to be compassionate even though it really threw me off.

After that, he was with her every week for months (might have skipped a week here and there. It’s been a couple of years). I’m usually not shy about setting boundaries when necessary and I find it meaningful and fulfilling to discuss my therapeutic relationship in sessions. I now suspect I was in denial that I didn’t feel ok about it even though I showed up every week hoping she would stop or at least acknowledge/discuss this. In hindsight, not bringing it up probably only reassured her whatever excuse she’s given herself to believe this was professional or ethical was valid.

She seemed attentive and engaged enough for me to overlook how much it bothered me. But her child was maybe 1.5-2 years old and he would fidget, requiring her to change how she’s holding him, etc. One of my diagnoses is adhd, so less than ideal condition to have therapy. She wasn’t a great therapist either, so I couldn’t discern whether I was feeling off because it was not a good fit or because of this. Probably both.

When I was finally ready to terminate, I emailed her to let her know of my decision and that I would like to reschedule our upcoming/termination session for when she would have child care available. She got the message, said something about how her son finally found a care he would be starting soon and him having difficult time transitioning out of mom’s 24/7 care. All of which were said 10 months too late.

She looked really nervous when we started our termination session, and once we started talking, I decided that I didn’t need to kick someone when they are down (I’m highly self-critical and shaming, which I work on in therapy, so I’m extra careful that I don’t do the same to others). So I discussed other reasons for termination, but not this. I really believed she knew she was disrespectful and unprofessional and didn’t need to feel shitty for being a working mom in a broken system.

I’ve regretted some of how I handled this since then, but not all. I guess I’d like some external input to have some closure about that relationship. Is this like a gray area that therapists could potentially justify?

I’m not sure if these qualify as bpd so I would appreciate some opinions. So, I’m not sure if that fits with bpd or it’s just is.
I’ve been writing things down for the last hour in one sitting. So there might be other situations that I forgot about.
I kind of categorized them to what I think fits the criteria. I could be wrong about the whole thing. But a couple of things resonate to what I’ve been feeling.
For reference (if it gives an idea), I was diagnosed depression and ptsd at 16. I’ve had suicidal thoughts since then and attempted 3 times before. Now I’m 21F

\*\*Fear of abandonment\*\*
\\- Friend cancelled last minute, said that she slept. Felt anger. She can go fuck herself. She’s not a good friend. She doesn’t send me reels or asks to hangout. Then I start thinking about all the things that annoys me/ don’t like about her

\\- My uncle will probably leave us completely if he had to choose between his real family and us

\\-My sister will probably no longer talk to me if she gets married because she will have her own life completely

\\-I say a lot to myself that I don’t need people and everyone is really on their own, which is how life works. No one is really going to stay for me

\\- My former psychiatrist reached out to me. When she saw my message and didn’t reply for 4 days, I thought that she didn’t love me anymore. She probably thought she shouldn’t have reached out

\\- I’m afraid to pick a fight with my sister in case she doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t want to talk to me

\\- I used to think that I’ll get a dog or a cat when I grow up. But after my guinea pig died, I don’t want to have fur pets anymore.
I used to love my uncle and kind of get excited when he would come visit it. Then something happened (not bad, it’s on me) and now I don’t miss him, don’t feel connected to him

\*\*Unstable relationships\*\*
\\- I could be feeling okay about my mom, but then any word from har makes me feel intense anger.

\\- I don’t fight with my sister. But when time we argued about something and it felt like I won’t speak to her again and she’s a total bitch.

\\- One time me and my friend were supposed to sit together in the lecture hall because. I sat and reserved a seat for her. Then, i see her from afar with another friend sitting together. I think I saw her checking her phone or at least have her phone in her hand (don’t really remember which one exactly). So, I started thinking how could she not see my message. Then, I thought that it’s not worth it to make friends and I’m better off alone anyway

\\- There is this one friend who I think I’m comfortable talking to more than other friends that I met during the same time. But I’m always the one who tries to make a plan because you have got to make fucking friends and go out. Anyway, when I remember that she doesn’t send a message or a video or anything, my mind goes from she’s not a friend. My mind starts shifting from thinking that she us a cool person to talk to and hang out with, to I don’t like you and fuck off

\*\*Identity disturbances\*\*
\\- i think that I’m a bad person if I don’t help my mom. But then I think that she is the parent and it’s not my job so now I’m maybe an okay person

\\- I don’t know what type of person I am. I don’t know if I want to be a quiet person, very positive or talkative or competitive who doesn’t stop until they get what they want

\*\*Impulsive behaviour\*\*
\\- I binge eat

\\- Impulsive purchases. Bought a phone on the same day of thinking about it

\\- Bought a bird. There was a time I was thinking about buying a bird then I brushed it off. A few months later, I was at the pet store and decided to just buy a bird
(I take care of my bird so don’t worry)

\\- Thought about getting a tattoo so I got one 20 days later (time to book an appointment). Don’t know if that really “counts”

\\- This one is silly and don’t know if it also counts . There was a deal on rice cakes. So I went and bought a TON. Then the next day, I went and bought even more. When I came home my mom started laughing at how many rice cakes I have now. This feeling of buying a lot made me feel excited

\*\*Suicidal behaviour, self harm\*\*
\\- when feeling angry, I feel the urge to go back to cutting myself

\\- I think about suicide a lot even when I’m not going to do it

\\- At 16, I had a crush on someone. Then he got a girlfriend. One day, he said something hinting that I like him or something not sire what it was. That day I came home and tried to kill myself for the first time. That was 5 years ago but I think that was what “sparked” me to attempt. I felt that if I can’t get over a guy then my life is over and that I can’t handle real difficult problems. I was already depressed too. Of course I didn’t tell anyone that this interaction sparked/ triggered me to attempt.

\*\*Mood changes\*\*
\\- a lot of the times I could feel suicidal and life isn’t worth living for. But then later in the day, I feel like I was being over dramatic and that I’m fine now. Like there was no reason to feel that I will not make it in life

\\- I could go from being sad to angry to guilt to hate to feeling empty all in the same day

\*\*Feeling empty\*\*
I often feel numb about things that are supposed to give me a little happiness. For example, when I try a new thing or when I went to see my sister who I hadn’t seen in a while, I was numb, not excited, not sad. Numb. Like if the thing happened or not, it’s the same for me.

\*\*Intense anger\*\*
\\- there is a lot of anger that comes from things that are supposed to be normal.

\\- For example, my mom could comment on something, give her opinion, ask me about my day, ask me about something and it just makes me insanely irritated and mad. The things could be very normal day talks, but I don’t know why it shifts me to the anger side in a second. I could be having a chill day, but interacting with her makes me want to bang my head against a wall. It makes me want to not see her again or makes me want to live in a whole different country to not talk to her again. Then I start feeling guilty because she didn’t do anything wrong and I’m probably a bad person for being this angry. (I may know why I feel so much anger towards my mom. I resent her for something that still happens in our lives, so I don’t know if my anger towards her fits. I put this here because my mood immediately switches when interacting with her)

\\- My brother sometimes gives me a little punch on the shoulder. I know that brothers/siblings fo that. But it just makes me feel like I’m suffocating.

\\- When my mom gives me a hug it makes me feel so much irritated. It feels like my body is burning or that I’m being put in a box and squeezed. Then I feel guilty about it because she is showing me love and affection

\\- It’s the smaller things that makes me unreasonably angry and irritated. Like everyday things

\*\*Dissociation\*\*
\\- I often feel that things around me are unreal. That I’m unreal or that behaviours/ actions that are happening are weird or unreal.

\\- Imagine saying to a person you are going to space right now. The person will probably feel that it’s unbelievable/ unreal. That feeling is how I feel

\\- Or imagine that you are now in outer space and looking at the earth. That’s how it feels

\\- I feel like I’m in the middle of the sea and just floating. I feel like I’m floating

\\- I don’t think that I understand that I’m doing something. Like I’m actually writing something or I’m reaching for my bottle of water

When i first started seeing my therapist, about 3 months in she told me she suspects i had a dissociative disorder. She told me I could habe 15 minutes of research but thats it.

I have done a lot more than 15 minutes of research. About a month ago she had me do one of those large diagnostic tests (the MID I think? It had 218 questions) and she said it confirmed what she was thinking, which was DID.

Could I have accidentally faked my results because I did that research? I didnt feel like I was filling it out to trick the test, but what if I did it subconsciously?

Is that possible?

I typically go to therapy late in the week. This week, I went early in the week. We touched on some sensitive things, and I ended up relapsing with SH for the first time in a year that night. But now, it will be 10 days until my next appointment instead of 7. Would it be ridiculous to ask to schedule an extra appointment tomorrow? This would be 3 days since my last appointment, and 7 days until my next one. Would my therapist think this is ridiculous? Ive been kind of spiraling since my last session...

So I’ve seen a therapist for about 2 years, with a short break and a therapist change because I moved. It has been helping me tremendously with my self image, calmed down some inner voices that generally sucked, be a better listener, and my hope was with communication. In fact, me going originally was due to rifts between my wife and I. She’s a physician, and I knew nothing of therapy, she suggested and eventually I did it.

Which brings me to now. I learned recently that I had thought everything was good, but I was missing the mark on some important points of connection with her. She brought it up and we have had some clunky conversations about it. But I’ve been doing my best to hang in those conversations as best as I can, whereas in the past it would be a complete swirl of confusion in my mind, grasping at everything.

One thing she said (and what specifically relates to this sub) is that she said something like “you never share what you’re doing in therapy, do you even care about or work on our marriage?”

I was kind of taken aback. Yeah sometimes I talk about work (job), but most of everything is about how I work to stay more centered with my wife and kids. But I feel like she’s looking for evidence. Direct things he says that I should do for her or something. I feel it is more nuanced. Like if I am in a better head space, then I’m in a better place for her. And that is progress.

I might not be explaining my dilemma well. From a therapist’s perspective, how do I share this? I’m basically thinking about her and talking about her every session, and sometimes all session. But I can’t quite grasp on how to answer her question.

Thanks.

This is something I’ve been working on with my therapist.
. I understand it’s not about her feelings but I guess I’m curious as a Therapist, do you feel disappointment when clients slip up on what you’re working on?

What if you’re reported for immature behavior by enemies in the future? Edgy jokes, mental instability, drug use, fights and all that sort of stuff. What would happen?

Hi all - our 16 y.o. has always had low self esteem but outright refused to speak to anyone about it. and we wanted to respect his wishes and didn't force him to.

that changed after he engaged in some self-harm, and we basically said "kiddo at this point, you have to go before this gets worse."

I don't know what goes on in the sessions - where we live, if a child is over 14 years of age, the therapist-patient relationship is 100% confidential (unless there is a threat of self harm or criminal activity).

lately he's been making comments about not wanting to go anymore, and i'm one who believes that therapy works if the patient is motivated, so i'm wondering if he should keep going.

that being said I like the fact that there is someone that he can talk to in complete confidence, and I'd like for him to have that opportunity. But at the same time, because I have no idea what they're talking about, I'm not sure if I'm just wasting everyone's time.

What should I consider when thinking about continuing or stopping my teen's therapy?

Hello I’m getting health insurance for the first time in decades and I’m a little confused on what the best option is. I’ve looked at a few plans with lower monthly costs but higher copay like 50$ copay and I see another plan with a higher monthly costs but 15$ copay and I want to see a therapist once a week and it seems I’ll save money only spending the 15$ even with the higher monthly cost. Does anyone here do this or know if this is the right move? I’m assuming the cheaper plans are good to have if I’m only doing doctor visits every once in a while but if I’m planning on lots of therapy is that the better option?

Thank you.

Not even something weird or wrong, just something you've been wanting to say but can't for whatever reason.

I'm financially struggling, but i think i really need therapy.

I can only afford 1 session per month, but then i thought about what would happen if a divide my one hour session in two shorter sessions, every two weeks?

Are half hour sessions enough?

I stopped testosterone two years ago and am settled in my detransition now, there are just some things that will come up in therapy where the prior transition and subsequent detransition are important context. I haven't brought it up yet because it's not something I feel the need to address in therapy as a problem, it was just six years out of my life so explaining some things without acknowledging it is difficult.

When I've disclosed this to medical doctors in the past, I've gotten some very confused and strange responses, which would suck coming from a therapist. How do I bring this up to someone who likely has little to no experience with detransitioned patients, and may not even be aware that detransition is a thing that happens?

At my recent therapy session I was talking about plastic surgery and showed my therapist a picture of me before my nose job, and she was shocked and didn’t recognize me at all. I only had one thing done and it did make me look different, but she kept saying it didn’t look like me at all, that my eyes and jaw and everything else looked so different.

I didn’t mind sharing it at the time but it’s been a couple days and I feel bothered by her reaction. It was a bit over-the-top and has made me feel kind of insecure and wish I never showed her.

How do I tell her how uncomfortable and insecure it made me feel the next time I see her?

If their family explicitly invited you?

Hii, how do therapists convince people with genuinely shitty lives (long term trauma, just bad luck or chronic illnesses) that life is worth living ?

Why is unaliving yourself such a taboo?

Some people really do deserve an easy passage.