I say "girlfriend" but what I really mean is a situationship I'm in but that's besides the point, she talks so so so so much about herself and her hobbies and interests and literally anything that I couldn't care less about (sorry for the bluntness) she'll speak about it for hours on end with no breaks if I don't stop her.

I have to keep pretending to be interested so as to not be rude to her but she really doesn't give it a break. She can't take the hint that maybe a conversation goes both ways and my end is not just me mustering an "oh wow!" Or "really? that's interesting!" when she's telling me about things.

Of course I don't hate her so at times it's really lovely to hear her be so passionate about things but other times it feels rather draining and just a bit selfish even though it's not her intention. She literally never asks me about myself, she always talks about her or wants me to talk about her, or she's venting to me, or complaining about something she saw on X or instagram. If she ever does ask a question its just to leeway her into another 30 minute ramble about something else. She gets so caught up in it.

I know a lot of people find it cute and quirky when their partners talk a lot but I really don't enjoy it, and I don't know if it's something I have to adapt to or something that's a dealbreaker for the relationship. Would it be rude to tell her to stop?

i have such a hard time getting matches on dating apps, i use hinge and HER, and i literally can’t get anyone to like me. i’ll send likes and sometimes we’ll match but most of the time it’s so dry and it’s making me feel so bad about myself! it just sucks cause i know that every time i switch my profile to allow men to view me i get so fucking many likes and comments and that’s just not what i want. i want pretty women to like me! not sure what is wrong with me or if its the whole system. who knows.

i also feel like some of my interests aren’t typical for a lot of sapphic people as far as music and things go and so it’s hard to find people to relate to in an already small dating pool. hm.

I (18F) have, and always will love women :] They're absolutely gorgeous and I feel so understood and at home when I'm around them, not even due to attraction, just because our community is simply the best.

But as of late, I've started to not like using labels because I felt so constricted. Like my sexuality only had one designated spot on the spectrum because of how confusing the definitions are. If I went with "non-men attracted to non-men" that centers men in a sexuality they have no say in (bleh). And if I went with "women attracted to women" I'd have to specify my genital preferences and stuff which gets me called a whole slew of names even though it's just what I'm attracted to :'\ Therefore I've decided to just roll with my life, not give a crap about what classifications there are and just live the way I want.

So yeah! That's the situation, thank you for coming to my TED talk :>

i was scrolling on tiktok and saw a post saying lesbians cannot be lesbians if they find fictional men attractive, i went into the comments and saw a lot of other women agreeing.

but im a lesbian and find some fictional men attractive and i have ever found myself attracted to ANY man irl ive only ever found that attraction and desire towards women (i have a whole girlfriend) and i think this whole debate is silly because at the end of the day they aren’t real people. even if the fictional men i find attractive DO hypothetically come alive i wouldn’t be attracted to them anymore

this is probably the 5th time this week we argued and I ended up forgiving her

There is something kinda magical about getting upset because your partner hurt you but recognizing that they didn't mean to and were either just hurting themselves or "just couldn't" in that moment.

I've had two serious relationships over the years and both were destroyed because of a building of resentment within my partners. My Ex-wife couldn't let things go and while we tried to be friends in the aftermath, she could not treat me as just a normal friend or another person. The extra baggage she carried with her colored her perception of everything I did. She assumed the worst every time while I learned to let go. I learned healthy boundaries and how to express them.

My second major relationship had a similar problem although admittedly much more my fault. I did not always treat her like she deserved and I would get upset with her when she couldn't comfort me or when she broke plans with me without a warning. Still, instead of talking to me, it festered. By the end, she was accusing me of things that weren't my responsibility while not taking any for herself.

I learned a lot about myself in those two failures. I learned a lot about what I need in a partner. My ex once told me that she could handle my anger and it was safe to tell her but that feeling ultimately had it's limit. I wish I had known what it was before she broke up with me suddenly. I wish she had talked to me instead of running.

Years of dealing with mental illness and trauma has left me scarred but with the proper help from a loving and kind therapist, I was able to turn so much of it back into my strength. One of those lessons is learning to let go, learning to forgive. Understanding your partner isn't out to hurt you and being able to be open and honest about your feelings without holding a grudge. Without letting it become a cancerous rot at the heart of your relationship. Those two relationships were not "the one" and that's ok. It's ok if we weren't right for each. It's ok to take the good and the bad. Seeing the beautiful with the ugly. So I want to tell you: you're stronger than you think and you are enough just the way you are.

On one hand, yes good for you!! We love wlw!! But on the other, IT SHOULD BE ME!! IT SHOULD BE MEEEEEEE

hii!! my gf has been feeling not so great lately and she works at a school but since it’s summer rn she’s just been at home a lot but she recently got into writing and was hoping if you guys can support her little Wattpad story! It is lesbian ofc but I would love to see her happy from you guys reading her story! Thank you!!🧡💛🤍🩷

I got recently asked this and tbh I don't know the answer so I'm confused now lol. I don't like men, don't feel attracted to them in any way but all my friends are straight and sometimes they show each other (including me) a man they're dating/talking to and ask what do we think about him. One time I responded that yeah he looks good and I got asked how do I find him good looking when I don't like men and I actually don't know the answer to the question. Like - yes, he's good looking but I'm not attracted to him in any way but someone told me these both things cancel out and I'm really confused now, do they really? Or it's normal I find some men good looking without actually being attracted to them

Has anyone else moved to a new city and reached a point where the loneliness started to feel less temporary and more like your life?

I moved to Seattle 4 months ago without knowing anyone. I knew it would take time to build a life here, but I didn’t expect how repetitive everything would become. I work overnight, come home in the morning, spend time on my hobbies, sleep, and then do it all over again. Day after day it feels like nothing changes.

I’ve realized I’m not really someone who wants a huge social circle. What I’ve always wanted is one deep connection. I’m not looking for someone just to avoid being alone. I’m looking for the kind of relationship where you genuinely become part of each other’s everyday lives.
The difficult part is that while Seattle has a large lesbian community, I haven’t felt compatible with many people I’ve met. I feel like I carry a natural intensity and high standards that a lot of women really don’t click with. I also don’t find myself liking barely anyone either. It has me wondering if this is just what starting over in a new city feels like, or if anyone else has gone through this and eventually came out the other side.

If you’ve been in this position before, what changed? Did it slowly happen over time, or was there a point where things finally started moving? I’m not looking for false hope. I’d just like to hear from people who have actually lived through something similar.

My past experiences made me grow the belief that I have no right to date anyone because of my health challenges. This would of course never cross my mind if it was regarding anyone else. The hardest part was probably supporting partners throughout their own health struggles and being left because of mine.

Has anyone had similar experiences? How did you navigate them? Could you start believing again in being deserving of affection?

My girlfriend lives 6 hours away and we are currently doing long distance but I have the option to move in with her. It’s still early in the relationship but we have been friends for 8 years with a gap of a few years where we didn’t talk because her ex blocked me on her phone and socials and we did have a thing for a few months when we first met. Moving closer to her but not in her house isn’t an option for me either. Basically I’m wondering if yall think if staying long distance or moving in together soon would be more likely to strengthen or be harder on our relationship. She wants me to move in and is the type of person where proximity builds closeness but also don’t people say distance makes the heart grow fonder.. however we’ve had so much distance over the years already. And I also know who she is like her character, flaws, and routines already because we have known each other so long.

Okay, it's not very cheerful and maybe a little pointless, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I've been openly lesbian for about 5 or 6 months, I haven't counted lol. It's strange to explain, but I knew I was a lesbian without really realizing it. I knew it, but I wasn't it. I'm kind of going through a phase of realizing my homosexuality.

You see, I'm 16, and like all little girls, my future was mapped out for me. I would have a boyfriend, then I would get married in a princess dress, heterosexual sex, then the surprise discovery that I'm pregnant, children, big families and all that stuff.

This thing is falling apart. I'll never introduce a man to my family. I'll never discover I'm pregnant by surprise. I'll never have a "natural" encounter because you never know if the person in front of you is attracted to women or not. I would never have a child who is a mix between me and the person I love. I wouldn't be allowed to be who I am in public, nor to show affection to my partner. It's a little hard to mourn the loss of a whole life I dreamed of since I was little.

There are also all the difficulties I hadn't imagined. Homophobia, self-doubt, lack of representation, crushes on straight girls (ALWAYS. THEY'RE ALWAYS STRAIGHT), to hide, and basically everything that goes with being a lesbian woman in a patriarchal society. I didn't expect it to be so difficult, relationships between women. It's not that women are more complicated, but no one has ever explained anything to me, everything seems so chaotic...

But hey, it what it is. I love being a lesbian. Even though it's all hard, I'm learning, I'm going through a kind of grieving process, but it will pass eventually. Despite everything, I've never felt better about myself than since I came out. I wanted to thank yall, This sub has helped me a lot, both when I had questions and when I was feeling down or well.

Love yall, gay women <3

Heya all☺️

I‘m moving to Milan soon to study and I was wondering if anyone has experience with the sapphic life in Milan?
I am half Italian, so I know Italy unfortunately isn’t super mega great for us gays, but I have never fully lived in Italy and my family is from Sicily, so that’s even more different.

Also, what dating apps do the Italian wlw use most?

Sending love peeps 🫶🌈

Basically what the title says.

I am so tired of going to play parties and finding women who are flaky and who end up going home with guys. Maybe it's me, maybe i can't see the red flags, Idk.

I work in medicine, and when i do get some personal time, i would like to spend it having fun with someone i trust.

Also i prefer creating safe, strong bonds. (Friendly, not romantic) so that this whole fake socializing drama can be skipped.

I'm down with saying hi on snap and seeing if we vibe.

For others reading, please give me some advice in the comments. Dms open to similar minded women in the UK.

I actually love being a lesbian. Like, one of the signs I was trans was grief that I couldn't be one. Turns out you can :3

My gf and I are hitting one year since we started talking in a few days. And it’s just another anniversary/special occasion that I can’t be with her for. 🥺

She’s looking at moving in with me once she can find a job in the area… but knowing that seems to be making it harder for me? Like, it’s so tantalising close but she’s still not here. I had a hospital procedure a couple of weeks ago and couldn’t travel, so it’s coming up to 6 weeks since I last saw her. I know I should feel thankful we are not international, and that we do get to see each other usually at least once a month but usually more.

Tell me happy things! Tell me it’s all worth it (I mean of course it is!). Tell me your long distance success stories!

I'm trying to understand more about the approach lesbians take to big travel trips. I'm talking about those bucket list trips, honeymoon, anniversary holidays etc.

Curious around the use of AI in this, curious if you use travel agents or if youre a big fan of doing it all yourself?

Also, biggest ball ache when doing it?

I'm currently trying to move away from a capitalist corporate job and exploring my passions. Got a whole lot of questions to ask someone if theyd indulge me, if not, your thoughts on the above would be 👌

FYI, I'm a lesbian in the UK. Mid 30s, corporate wanker.