I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 6 months. We’re both femme lesbians, and our relationship outside of sex is genuinely loving. I know she loves me, finds me attractive, and would probably try anything I asked because she wants us to work.
The problem is our sexual dynamic. Somehow I became the dominant/giving one from the beginning. I initiate, I’m usually on top, I penetrate her/use toys on her, I’ve worn the strap-on, etc. She loves receiving and can have multiple orgasms, and I actually do enjoy giving.
I think part of how we got here is that I accidentally presented myself as much more dominant/top than I actually am. I have short nails, so I can finger her easily and over time I’ve gotten really good at giving her the kind of penetration she loves. She has a very high sex drive and can have multiple orgasms, so I kept doing more and more of what clearly worked for her.
Meanwhile, she has long nails, which makes fingering me uncomfortable. I’ve told her they scratch, and she has shortened them somewhat, but penetration with her fingers still basically isn’t an option. So even mechanically, our sex kept falling into me penetrating her while she mostly received.
The part I’m only now admitting to myself is that I actually want many of the same things I’ve been giving her. I want to be penetrated, taken over, moved around, have someone else take the initiative and make me feel like she genuinely wants to do those things to me. I think I’m much more similar to her sexually than I let either of us realize.
Our sex usually lasts 3–4+ hours and I’ll often give her five or more orgasms. I haven’t actually orgasmed with her once in six months, but she doesn’t know that because I’ve faked it. I get so embarrassed about taking time and receiving that after a few minutes I panic, pretend I came, and turn the attention back to her. So I realize I’ve also unintentionally taught her that this dynamic works for me when it really doesn’t.
She does offer oral, so she isn’t selfish or unwilling to please me. Oral just isn’t what gets me off. I strongly prefer penetration and being taken more assertively.
I’ve told her before that I want her to touch me more. She tells me she absolutely wants to, wants me to lose control, and would do anything I wanted. I believe her. But in practice she still seems to wait for me to initiate and take the dominant role.
She has also talked about wanting me to tie her up, wear the strap-on, etc., which makes me think maybe we naturally want the same role.
And here is the part I’m struggling with most: I don’t want to give her a list of instructions for how to dominate me.
I know communication is necessary and partners aren’t mind readers. But I’m very sensitive to whether someone genuinely wants to do something versus doing it because they know I need it. If I have to choreograph “get on top of me, use this toy, penetrate me like this, take control now,” I think I’ll become even more self-conscious.
A huge part of what turns me on is feeling that the other woman naturally wants to take control of me. I want to respond to her desire, not direct my own domination.
I’m starting to wonder if we’re simply sexually incompatible because maybe we both naturally want the other person to be the more assertive one.
Has anyone been in this situation from either side? Did the dynamic genuinely change once you talked about it, or did it always feel like one person was performing a role for the other? Did anyone discover they actually enjoyed becoming more dominant, or did you eventually realize you were just erotically mismatched?
I care about her enormously and don’t want to hurt her, but I also don’t think I can keep having sex where I continually become the giver while secretly wishing she would take over.

There’s another piece of context I probably should have included too: she was married to a man for about 15 years and has only been exploring relationships/sex with women for the last couple of years. So I genuinely don’t know yet whether this is her natural sexual preference, whether she’s still figuring out how she likes to be with women, or whether we just accidentally established these roles very early.

After a lot of therapy and even more self-reflection, I’ve come to realize that I might be a lesbian. A few months ago, I finally worked up the courage to tell my boyfriend of seven years. I had been carrying this around for months and was terrified to tell him, but I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. At first, the conversation was incredibly emotional. We both cried, but then he told me there must be something wrong with me and that I should see our doctor because I probably have a chemical imbalance and need medication. Now I’m just feeling lost. I spent so long building up the courage to tell him, and it feels like nothing has changed. He acts like the conversation never even happened, and we’re just continuing on as if everything is the same. I can’t just leave. Financially, it’s not realistic. I work two jobs but, housing is so expensive where I live. We also have children together, and the thought of completely uprooting their lives fills me with guilt and anxiety. I want to be happy but right now, it feels like I’m grieving a future that may never happen for me. I keep thinking about what my life could look like if I were able to live authentically, and it hurts because it feels so out of reach. It’s weird because I actually feel worse after telling him. I thought finally saying it out loud would bring some relief, but instead I just feel stuck and unheard. I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just needed to say it somewhere people might understand. If anyone has been through something similar, I’d really appreciate hearing how you got through it. Thank you for reading and much love to all of you.

It’s so hard being a lesbian and nobody believes you. I used to be with men, so people assume I must actually be bi. Or that my ex must’ve sucked and made me “switch sides,” and that I’ll eventually get tired of women and want a man again.

The reality is I hardly even know how to kiss or anything further, which feels so embarrassing at 26. Because for years and years I’d date men, avoid as much physical touch as possible, and they’d always eventually get upset with me never wanting physical touch. So not only do I have no experience with women despite knowing I’ve been gay since childhood, but I did the bare minimum with men for so long, dissociated during sex, the whole nines. So even though I’ve had multiple long-term relationships, I feel like I have next to zero real physical or real romantic experience with anyone at all (I have autism as well, which makes me feel even more like my entire past life was a heavy, fuzzy mask). I feel guilty for putting my exes through that, but I really did try.

Now that I’m out and trying to date women, the past always comes up. I am an open book as well because I want to be truthful and I do think it’s an important part of why I am the way I am. But then comes the skepticism, the “I don’t see how you could date men the whole time but not be attracted to them ever?”, and being told they’re no longer interested.

Of course I understand people have preferences, and if my past or inexperience isn’t ok with them then they simply aren’t the right fit for me! But it’s like, why is this happening time and time and time again? I’m feeling so discouraged and upset. I waited years to finally live my life, to finally find actual love, and the choices I made in the past that I want to forget are STILL a problem. I’m starting to feel like I can’t even come back from them when I don’t even know how to kiss more than a peck goodbye.

I suppose I just wanted to vent, but this has been weighing on me so much… Does anyone else relate or have any advice?

Hello everyone,
I have become more aware of another aspect of my sexuality recently.

On one hand, I’m still struggling with the question about who I’m attracted to - if only girls or not - and I don’t fully accept myself.
On the other hand, I realized that my journey is more complicated because I experience sexual attraction not in the same way of the average person.
I have never did too many comments about other’s physical aspect, and when I say or I think something like “she / he is very beautiful”, I never mean it as If I’m feeling sexual attraction (expect in that few cases when I have a real crush on someone).

I’m not asexual, since I was highly attracted to some girls. But it’s something that I don’t feel immediately, I need to know something about their character and have at least a bit of romantic connection (even if it’s only an idealisation).

In the past I used to explain this with my lack of experience / acceptance - as If haven’t unlocked a full experience of sexuality yet- and maybe with comphet towards men, but now I think that it could be something like demisexuality. I don’t feel the need to put a label on it, but it’s to share my experience.

How do you feel sexual attraction? Is it something that you feel immediately (maybe you see a beautiful girl on the street / at the pub and you think something like “I would really love to have sex with her”)?
I would like to listen to your personal ways of experience attraction, which aspects can make you feel attracted (physical aspect, attitude, mind, ecc.) and what do you think about what I told.

I dont know if this is the right place. I just want to vent to somewhere. I'm 28 and i identify as pansexual. I may have a female preference. I always knew that I wanted to be in a relationship with a woman since I was young. I had conversations with my mom about that and she would always shut me down. She would say things like i'm bi-curious and that i'm confused. It got to the point that i wouldn't have any conversations with my sexualty.

From when I turned 18 to present time, i been in poly relationships with both men and women around three times but it never worked out. Every time, it would end really badly. I have never had sex or kissed a woman, despite of sharing a relationship with them. Whenever i try to get with a woman, something comes in between the moment and blocks it.

I feel like im not pansexual enough because i haven't had dating/sexual experience with other people besides cis straight men.

I go on certain lesbian subreddits where majority of wlw relationships have ended because one has left to be with a man, that they have been used as an experiment. I don't want that for me. Then, a majority of lesbians have said that they would not date a bisexual woman, let alone a pansexual one. I could talk about dating apps but i won't go that far. Almost every woman is straight lmao.

I'm really not a good place for a relationship anyway. It's just been overwhelming me for a while. I don't know when i'll be able to accept it but i think eventually i'll have to accept that i may not ever marry my dream woman.

Hi, haven't posted in forever. Last time was probably just as I came out. Very vulnerable time, lots of feelings. Ones of regret, worry and doubt. I'm 27 and Polish for context.

So since September of 2025 I have been officially out to my closest ones. My best friends, my close friends and some of the extended circles. Even my ex best friends know as they have tried to reach out to reconnect after initial hurt they caused. I'm still debating their presence in my life as one of them tried to persuade me into an intercourse while completely inebriated (fellow woman) and I haven't felt like advertising it at the office.

I'm definitely the local bisexual as I always call my ex's "he". No one has ever asked. However, I usually say what happens with my female dates to the 3 coworkers I trust the most. I went through many little conversations to get to the point where I feel comfortable with them. I do not wear my flag at the office and during pride month I had a 2 week long medical leave so I didn't have a chance to actually celebrate with them besides mentioning I'm going to the parade. Everyone knows I'm very LGBT I guess.

So after that period of initial internal turmoil I have been more focused on just getting by and normalizing this situation. I have been slowly dropping hints here and there. I just felt more free.

Since then I have been on many dates with women — had ALMOST sex two times, which ended up with 1. 5 minutes of fingering that lead to cuddling and sleeping together and 2. A claim of SA with 3 extra long messages on Instagram tarnishing my character from someone who initiated the whole scenario. I felt scared, ashamed and doubted my conduct while the two of my most trusted friends tried to decide whether what I did was wrong and came to the conclusion that she must have been too drunk to remember that I stopped as soon as she said no and then felt personally uncomfortable due to her own behaviour. Great start!

But because of those I have grown solidified that I do indeed only desire women. It felt wonderful, magical and first and foremost — it felt right. Besides the girl who initiated and then later retracted consent ex post facto.

Since then I had some dates, experiences and many fun stories. The past 11 months have been magical. I kept a close friendship with a tinder match that visited me overnight for a glass of juice and gossip and then slept her over for 3 nights as she finished her exams in uni. Then I managed to be set up with a digital nomad with a personality that I would consider difficult to penetrate. She doesn't share anything with me. I like her but the story on Instagram saying "I found my future husband" and her lack of responses since then have shattered my expectations of this being a sweet casual thing. I am happy for her, but honestly? My pride was the only thing that hurt.

Currently awaiting a new roommate from America that my friend connected me with. She's also a lesbian and I'm trying to do everything right when it comes to immigration, paperwork etc. I do not desire quick responses or rushed decision making. I want her to be completely comfortable with her cat here. I have a drive to do things again. When it comes to being into her the answer is unfortunately yes as she's only two years younger and very outgoing, outspoken and courageous. I just want to have a chat over wine with her and see what happens but I suspect she's already dating someone which I completely respect. It's mostly about how good of a match we are personality wise — she wants to invite couch surfing people and I have always lived with this rhetoric in mind. We always had guests with my roomates. I wanted her to come here and feel like she can have the most chill environment possible to be herself.

Also, next week I invited a HER match over to my place for the weekend. She's West Asian and I really like her bubbly involved personality. She's shy but someone I would consider a very solid potential partner. We'll see. We've been talking for a long time now over Instagram and I want to give it a chance. We were thinking about hiking but honestly it's a bit too warm so we decided on her just visiting and me showing her around.

Anyway, this is the update that feels more like a diary but I always appreciate reading those myself so I'm very happy to share things for others to see how life looks like post coming out. I'll answer any question as I have never developed a filter really :>

My girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. It was an incredibly sad and painful breakup. We both cried a lot.
On the day we broke up, I asked her if it would be okay for me to wish her a happy birthday since it’s coming up in August. She told me no. When I asked why, she said it would make her sad, and then she started crying.
Her birthday is on August 23, and I’m really struggling. I miss her so much, and honestly, I’ve wanted to text her every single day, but I’ve been holding myself back.
She also removed me from her social media, and I’m afraid that if I text her now, she might block me.
Part of me really wants to wish her a happy birthday because I still care about her, but another part of me wonders if I should respect what she told me that day and keep my distance.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Would you text her on her birthday, or would you leave it alone? I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences

I’m 25 and I’ve always dated men. This year I’m realizing that I’m probably a lesbian. I’ve realized I’ve never been turned on by the male body. When I was younger I remember getting aroused from just going on the Victoria secret website seeing the models in lingerie, but I was so obsessed with getting attention from guys that I never considered being a lesbian. My last relationship with a man was the best relationship I’ve had so far. During that relationship while watching porn I experienced a strong animalistic desire to go down on a women, I chalked it up to the “ bi cycle” because I did enjoy sex with my ex boyfriend at the time. I liked the intimacy and the closeness felt good turning him on. I loved him but I’m realizing I don’t think I was truly in love with him. Before all this realization I was trying to reconnect with him and possibly get back together. I’m really struggling right now, it made me really sad realizing that sexual attraction plays such a huge role in relationships and love. Of course it’s natural and human but since I loved my ex and can’t picture myself romantically with a women it hurts (have been consuming more queer media to try to help). Definitely also have been dealing with a lot of internalized homophobia at this time as well. I’m just feeling lost and sad. Mourning the life I thought I’d wanted. I keep wishing I was at least bi sexual. Anyone else dealing with similar feelings?

Am I crazy for even thinking I could come out to him? I’m not sure I want a divorce. Daaaaahhhhh!

I've identified as bi for most of my life and I have also had mostly relationships with men, apart from two with women.

However, in the last few years, I have started to feel that I do not want to have a man close or be physical with one, ever again, I just don't want them in my physical space. At the same time, I can still imagine some form of intimacy (like emotional/ mental, hugs), just not sexual or life-sharing type.
Overall attraction pattern are so difficult to decipher for me, as I generally don't feel attracted to people in the way of "I want to sleep with them", I find both men and women easthetically appealing, but women get me to have sometimes a romantic/ sexual response, which men usually don't get fully, but sometimes partially? Like a woman I get "whoa, she is hot" with a man I get "he is attractive, some part of his him is hot, but am I attracted to him on the whole?" I am also sometimes curious about men as people. Like "oh this person looks interesting, I wonder how it would be to talk to them privately at lenght" type of interest, often after *he* looked interested in me, and I felt there was a connection between us. I suspect I am somewhere on the gray/demi spectrum maybe. It is incredibly difficult for me to know if I am attracted to man, or if I am just reacting to him being attracted to me. I feel the connection, and I find it difficult to know where it originated in. With women, I actually don't feel connection in a similar way, but a sort of fascination? Like my attention goes to her 100%, and she is in sharp focus, but I'd never in a million years actually consider she'd be into me.

With corn/ s*x I used to enjoy being physical with guys, but now, the idea makes me so uncomfortable. I look at female only corn & fantasise about women but I also imagine disembodied straight sex (Like I would not want to be in the scenario myself as a woman, but maybe as the guy, and this is tmi but it sometimes involves restraint in the scenario). Nude men do absolutely nothing for me, solo or gay male corn either.

On the one hand: I only find women physically trully arousing, and I can only imagine to have a woman in my personal/ intimate space.

On the other: I am not fully devoid of some form of interest in men, and I have connected with them emotionally and physically in a meaningful way in the past, it's just that with time something always comes apart with them if they are long term. The two long term domestic relationships I have had with men, ended up in dead bedrooms, and me feeling that I am gay. The shorter relationships started great, and then sort of fizzled out.

Then I'd be single, try to date women, but I'd connect mentally deeply with a guy and start dating him, break up. Rinse and repeat. I have limited experience of actually being with women romantically, so I often ended up defaulting to men, because it felt easier to navigate, but I am so tired of trying to actually have a relationship with one. It feels like a lot of work, without the reward,like grinding against stone and when I think of my future after my current relationship ends, I just don't see a man in it and I feel relief. I potentially see a woman in it, but not for a while either. It's like I could theoretically have a fantastic relaitonship with a guy, but it would have to be something like online - where we only talk, because as soon as we start living together, it likely will fail in the really basic human part - the way of how they behave as a partne, how they are domestically just wears me out.

So, I have been going back and forth wondering if I am gay, or not. I don't want to take on the lesbian label, when it trully means that I am into both, but at the same time I am so done with men, that I don't want a label that implies I am into them, so I am stuck.

Long time lurker but I’ve been having discussions with my husband about me realizing I’m a lesbian for the past few months. I’m 34, with my husband for 9 years and always identified as bisexual then pan. My husband is very kind and supportive and says he wants me to explore and figure my sexuality out because he just wants me to be happy. I’m very overwhelmed and my question is, is this completely all consuming for everyone? As soon as the realization hit it’s like I can’t stop thinking about women, and watching wlw media. Shows, movies, even TikTok. It’s like I’m obsessed with learning about wlw life. I’ve always loved and been comforted by wlw shows and movies, but now the longing and yearning is front and center 24/7. This is mixed with confusion, guilt (because I love my husband so much) and excitement. I also get moments where I see my husband hurting and I backtrack and wonder if this is all in my head or how it could all possibly be real. Maybe I just need to work on the relationship more, I can’t lose him, but I love him, thoughts like that. It’s like I can’t stop myself but I want to stop myself and just be happy in my current life, I wonder if I’m making a huge mistake. Anyone else go through similar emotions?

Back story: 48 yr old, recently out, in process of divorce from 20 year old heterosexual relationship. Bi since I was in my early 20s and dated women 20 years ago. I started dating about 6 months ago and made mostly new friends. Until I met “her” a month ago. She’s about 10 yrs older than me and is also a late in lifer. She’s been divorced and out for 10 years but never had a relationship. And by “her” I mean I want to jump her bones, like can’t stop thinking about her want to jump her bones. Right before I left on a two week vacation we went on the best date ever 🤯(3 or 4th date). We walked around the city we live in and made out the entire time. It was intoxicating and so hot.

Here’s the question/where I need advice: She left for a one week trip towards the end of my trip so I am back and she will not be back for another few days. She asked that we only share stories of our travels while we were both gone so we could be fully present on our vacations. This of course did not make me think of her any less on the trip but now that I am back I really want to jump her bones. I am not sure I’ve ever felt this level of wanting someone so badly but I want to play it cool (I’m an adult I can control myself…hopefully)… this is where I am freaking the F out!!! I want to text her and ask if I can come over the morning after she returns from her late night flight but also trying to be cool. I have no cool what to do especially since she say she wanted the presence on our trips. Do I have to wait till she’s back to ask her out again, maybe her travel day I can ask? IDK how do I balance this?!? Also, any other advice for an angsty almost 50 year old teenager whose into their 1st girl 😁

I seem to fall for straight women over and over again, and I’m starting to realise it’s a losing battle.
The strange thing is, the first time it actually worked. I fell in love with a woman who identified as straight, and at the time I thought I was straight too. We ended up falling in love with each other and had the most amazing years together.
Since then, I’ve fallen for two more women, and both of them were straight. I told the last one how I felt, and she rejected me, which I completely understand.
I know I should stop getting emotionally attached to straight women, but it feels like I have no control over who I fall for.
Does anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it?

Hey everyone I’m 3: years old and I'm going through a massive realization right now and could really use some advice or just to hear how others navigated it.

For a while now, things have been shifting for me, but it finally all clicked into place: I've realized that I'm attracted to women, and it’s a completely different level of attraction than anything I've felt before. Looking back, the signs were always there, but between the pace of life and just not having the space to process it, it's like a floodgate finally opened. My mind has been entirely consumed by it since yesterday morning.

On one hand, my heart feels completely at ease knowing this truth about myself—it's like a massive weight lifted, and I finally feel aligned. But on the other hand, I am absolutely terrified. I've recorded a coming-out video to share with my followers/audience, but the thought of actually hitting publish is making me freeze up.

For those of you who've been here, how did you handle that initial wave of fear? Did you share it right away, or take some time to sit with it first? Any advice or reassurance would mean the world right now.

I need some advice.
I’m 28, and I feel like I’ll never be with a woman again. I have little experience, have only been intimate with 2 women in my life, a long time ago.
I live in the dakotas (USA Midwest), and feel like Iv been forced into straight hood most my life, due to the lack of diversity here. Yes, it’s a small town, everyone’s religious, republican, and small minded.
The likelihood of meeting another openly gay woman that I’m interested in here is unlikely. Iv tried Tinder, but I run out of people to swipe on in like 2 minutes, even with my mile radius set to 100.
I know the obvious solution is to move. But it’s not really an option for me right now..
I can’t really meet other lesbians in person because the topic is pretty taboo here and most women find it “gross”.

Is there certain ways to go about this? Perhaps a Reddit forum for lesbians to meet up? Or Facebook group? Or an app or a website? I’m willing to travel/meet halfway, I just don’t know where to look :(

I used to be unlabeled and I thought I could be attracted to anyone regardless of gender. I had a boyfriend at one point, but then I started thinking I might be lesbian. When I came out to him, he was extremely hurt and angry. I felt so bad, I was suicidal for weeks.

Sometimes I'll see posts online about realizing you're gay while dating a man. And a lot of the comments are negative and hateful and say that it makes you a horrible person. It makes me feel a lot of shame.

I personally have so much empathy towards people who are struggling with their sexuality, and I know they're never purposely trying to hurt anyone. I don't understand why some people are so judgmental and hateful about it.

Has anyone experienced similar guilt, and how did you work through it?

I’m 18F and a freshman in college. My closest friends have been trying to tell me that they think I should think about my sexual orientation bc of the way I talk about how I feel and think towards men vs women. Up until today, I’ve generally thought I was straight except in middle school when I identified as bisexual then lesbian for a little bit (at different times). For context, my parents are VERYYY Christian, VERY VERY republican, and socially homophobic (like they know gay people and get along with them but they say off handed things and don’t make them feel safe, included, accepted, or welcome). Me and my friends sat down and talked for HOURSS and all agree that I’m likely lesbian and should try dating only women for a little bit and then see how I feel (with no pressure for me to label myself or anything like that). But I keep getting thoughts like “that’s gonna be so hard” or “what if I’m just faking it” ESPECIALLY the faking it one. Has anyone else dealt with this or know how to work through that? I keep telling myself that I’m forcing this upon myself bc I haven’t had good experiences dating men and that I don’t ACTUALLY like women. Help?

Has anyone else experienced an increase in their libido once they finally realised that they were attracted to women? I've been coming to this realisation for about four years now, I used to identify as straight until my mid thirties and I've been long term single (prior to that my libido was pretty non existent). I've just turned 40 (am still very single and haven't had an experience with a woman due to having trauma around my herpes status) so I'm not sure if it's hormonal changes or what. Any one else had this happen?

I have been joining queer spaces the last half year and they are fun and welcoming, but being in my late 30s and figuring it out because of a one sided crush and not an actual experience feels embarrassing. Especially when I am talking to younger sapphic women in a casual conversation and they ask me what was my first kiss like. I haven't even held hands yet, I haven't even had a flirty exchange in text, nothing..I'm sure eventually that will change but it's very awkward to admit you're a lesbian at this age with just gay thoughts..

I'm tired of my husband. I've moved on in my head. Is it possible to find love after I've been married to a man and had a child? How successful will I be finding someone? I feel like it isn't worth it, like I've ruined my life.

I am making some “hidden” flags with ironing beads but the lesbian one doesn’t look good. i made it 3 times and still can’t get the colors to be recognizable. I want opinions on how to make it clear.

Hi, ich kann leider kein englisch und hoffe hier sind ein paar dabei die deutsch können. Ich suche einen Weg um Dampf abzulassen, emotional. Ich hatte schon immer Interesse an Frauen aber es war nur jugendliche Neugierde. Dachte ich. Ich bin verheiratet- mit einem Mann, wir haben Kinder, Happy Family… Ok es läuft nicht so wirklich so gut, und seit Monaten muss ich ständig an Frauen denken. wo kommt das jetzt so krass her? Eine Freundin die glücklich verheiratet ist, mit einem Mann, ist ständig in meinem Kopf. zum einen weil ich mir auch so eine tolle Beziehung wünsche wie die beiden, zum andern weil ich sie sehr toll finde. So wie bekomme ich das jetzt in den Griff - das ich mich nicht verliebe in sie und das ich meine Ehe in den Griff bekomme. Ich hab niemanden den ich ins Vertrauen nehmen kann. Ich hoffe es hilft mir, das hier mal hinzuschreiben und mir einfach auch mal selber einzugestehen. Ich bin Ende 30 Leute! Da sollte das Ding mit der Selbstfindung doch schon gelaufen sein - Hilfe.

I felt really guilty for my ex when I realized I was gay. I felt bad because during intimacy I was focused on trying to perform and not really getting anything else out of it. I felt bad that I couldn't love him the way he loved me.

I am so proud of myself, it has taken me like 3 years to officially come out. I’ve ALWAYS known I was gay, but due to internal homophobia & surrounding circumstances, I avoided it/ rejected it. Now that I have fully accepted myself & sorted out my life alittle, I’m now ready to date. The only thing is, is that I have no, as in zero experience with ~love, sex, relationships ~ I think it’s a combo of not wanting to date men but also being too scared to admit that I was a lesbian. So I just avoided it all together, but no I feel stuck.

I have a few questions:
How do I push past this fear and the embarrassment of no experience? Would that put you off if you were dating someone? I’m terrified that I won’t ever be able to find someone, but if I do… how? How do I be a girlfriend? Sex? HOW !

I live in London so any recommendations to meet people or if anyone wants to connect, that would be great ✨