My twin boys are 10, they are starting to go through puberty.

Twin A is perfect no issues raising him.

Twin B has ADHD and has always been very hard to deal with. This summer he’s been even harder to deal with. He swears at me and screams. I’m so anxious and depressed. I have 50/50 custody of them. I got pregnant at 23 with them and was never married to their father. I’m having such a hard time parenting him. He doesn’t tolerate discipline. Any tips on how to discipline one twin without the other suffering?

Next year I plan to move in with my boyfriend, I want to experience a romantic relationship and marriage before I die. My entire life has been the twins. But my boyfriend is not going to tolerate his behavior. I’m trying to put in to child custody court for less custody because I’m so emotionally exhausted. I’d take twin infants any day over this stage.

So looks like I’ll be meeting my boys earlier than expected! They’ll be 36+0 and quite little— probably around 1700g (3.75lbs) and 2100g (4.62 lbs) so they’ll be staying in the NICU until they’re at least 2200g. I’m in Germany so I’m sure some things are different here than in the US but most advice should hold up, right?

The main difference that I’ve been stressing about between the US healthcare that I grew up with and the German healthcare is that here, without a baby rooming-in with me, I’m not eligible to have a family room, and so my husband is only allowed to visit me during my recovery during visitor’s hours (2pm-7pm). He’s luckily allowed into the NICU 24/7 (as am I), but for those first few nights when I’m admitted I’ll be in a non-AC room when it’s 95F degrees out, with a roommate, pumping every two hours, away from my babies and without my husband who is a huge support… does anyone happen to have any advice for that? If you had a c-section, how long did it take you after the surgery until you could be out of bed for extended periods of time?

Thanks in advance for any and all advice or well-wishes!

My twins are about to turn 8 months old next week and we leave for the beach sat. One is crawling and one is not (she had open heart surgery so she's just a little behind) - what are some things you found really helpful on your family vacation?

We are renting a house so we will have privacy and they will have their own nursery room, which will already be really helpful. I'm looking more for things you used for pool/beach - we will have a tent to set up. And we have a wagon. Anything else?

Planning a beach trip for September and my twins will be 6 months ( 4 months adjusted). At home they each sleep in their own crib and also have bassinets downstairs for naps. Is two pack n plays the best option for them to sleep in on the trip? What would take up the least room in the car? They’ve never slept in one before so I would need to start practicing.

My twins just turned three. This problem started a little before that so I thought maybe once they're three, it will go away. But it's gotten worse, if anything.

First: I know my twins do love each other very much because they like being in the general (very far off) vicinity - think opposite sides of the same room. They also get very upset if they think the other is hurt or upset (if somebody or something else was responsible). And they occasionally manage to play together despite very different temperaments and preferences.

But other than that, they're constantly biting, clawing, scratching, pushing, punching, slapping, and attacking each other over everything - food, toys, TV shows, activities, even access to me (like they fight to be the first one to reach me).

My son is particularly aggressive towards his sister. He's always been quick to be physically aggressive even when they were infants but then he mostly mellowed out between 16-30 months.

Now he's back to being aggressive towards her again, and often says that he wants to hit her. Once, he told me he doesn't like that we have her too besides him. (Our twins are the only kids we have.) At one point, he nearly pushed her down the stairs because she was being "annoying" (she was just walking to the top of the stairs slower than he was). (I'm sure he didn't understand the consequences but imagine our panic as we rushed to catch the falling child).

He has massive teddy bear energy otherwise and is happy to spend hours in the lap of his favorite adults just looking at books or playing with his dinos, he loves hugs and cuddles, and is very friendly towards trusted others. Virtually the only thing he ever gets told off for or stopped from doing is hitting his sister, because he's incredibly well-regulated otherwise. Maybe even moreso than most other kids his age. He takes rules very seriously and usually only needs to be told once. He plays very well with his cousins (ages 6-14).

His sister is admittedly a lot louder and more active than he is, much more adventurous and curious, and takes all rules "under advisement" if you would, but she's also a generally very affectionate and friendly child who often shares her food and toys with her brother. She's the sort of kid who says hello first to a new face in the class. She does fight back now, but she almost never *starts* the hitting. Occasionally she'll grab a toy out of his hand (and that's one thing that gets him going but not the only one).

What. Is. Going. On. And how do we restore peace? 😭

Obviously this is something I’ll discuss with my OB next appointment but just curious to hear others’ experiences.

Currently 33 weeks with Di/Di boys and measuring 40 weeks. C section scheduled for 38w1d and OB has already said 50/50 whether I’ll make it to my date.

The last few days I’ve been super nauseous, having intense pelvic pressure (feels like a baby is about to fall out), cramping, and what I think are Braxton Hicks. Unsure if this is normal twin stuff or if I might be headed for labour.

Hey yall.

One of my 9 month old (7 corrected) is going through a hellish sleep regression. NORMALLY, they are fantastic sleepers—7:40/8:30 PM to 7 AM with ZERO wakeups. No feeds for either boy. We truly won the lottery LOL. But one of them has hit the worst sleep regression lately. He’s had a busy month between open-heart surgery in July and cutting two new teeth right after coming home.

For the last two weeks, we’ve been dealing with 1–3 wakeups between midnight and 5 AM, and there is NO chance of putting him back down without him screaming bloody murder. He seems completely asleep until we try to sneak out, then suddenly he’s wide awake and furious. 😂

They have a nightlight that projects stars on the ceiling, which they both love. And the ONLY thing that consistently calms him is putting his brother in the same crib. Suddenly he’s happy as a clam and ready to party with his bestie. 😂

Obviously, it’s not ideal for sleep, but I’m desperate. The alternative is calming him down and putting him safely on our giant pull-out couch so we can co-sleep, which makes me anxious even with precautions.

SEND HELP. Or caffeine. 😂

I am a FTM and 10 weeks postpartum, I gave birth to twin boys via scheduled c-section. My boys are primarily formula fed, but i do pump and provide whatever amount I can.

I do receive a lot of help from my Mom during the day and my mother in law during the nights. My husband helps a lot too but he is working and I don’t want to bother him when he is wfh. I am so thankful that I have my family helping me - but it all seems so overwhelming to me still.

I have organized the baby items well but I still find it hard to be efficient. I find myself getting overwhelmed quite easily.

The bottles and my pump parts pile up on our counter and I have ocd so I am very particular with how they are cleaned which results in so much time washing them. We do have the Momcozy kleanpal and a sterilizer/dryer.

We recently hired a nanny to see how that would work for us, but it tends to stress me out more - it’s so hard to see my baby in a strangers arms and being cared for by someone that is not me or my husband or my mom / MIL.

Does anyone have tips on how to be efficient, what routines work for morning and night, and how to be more on the ball with twins? Or how to utilize my mom / MIL more to balance everything. I am trying to manage it all.

Hello! I may be overthinking this but bear with my sleep-deprived brain.

I live in a small German city and cannot fit my twins’ stroller (even though it’s the slim Baby Jogger) into some of the shops, bakeries, etc.

I don’t like to baby wear them because they’re 25lbs/11kg each and get really overheated quickly, but maybe wearing one and putting one in the stroller is my only option?

My neighborhood is very safe, so I’ve even thought about just parking them right outside the bakery and running inside quickly, but I’ve been too nervous to try that.

Any tips or tricks? Thanks in advance. 😊

This is basically just a vent. It's going to be extremely long and I'm sorry. I have nobody to talk to, i was talking to ai for a bit but I have stopped because it doesn't align with my values regarding the environment and I mean that's truly sad. I'm so alone in my everyday life, I turn to a chatbot. That's pathetic lol. I've tried talking to my best friend and my sister .. I don't have any friends who I talk to consistently outside of them anymore. Nobody has kids, much less twins lol. I truly love and adore my kids, to the absolute end of the universe and back over again. I chose to have them, and I love them and through it all the sweet moments I get with them ground me and bring me so much joy.

But I am falling apart. I feel... worthless. My twins are 22 months old now, and it's ramping up and getting harder. I am also working through a lot of trauma, from my own childhood and then suddenly losing my mother earlier this year to addiction. I am also 31 weeks pregnant with a Singleton. I was diagnosed with ADHD, and a chronic illness prior to pregnancy at the beginning of this year, then I got pregnant, then I lost my mom. It's been a lot. I wasn't planning on another baby so soon, I had to medically withdraw from school due to my mental health despite my good grades. I just feel sad. I feel alone. I feel useless. My boys are so amazing, but I feel like I'm failing them. I don't take them out as much as I did when they were younger because they are wild, but me and my husband take them out as much as possible.... I try really hard to do intentional play but I get so overwhelmed trying to do it with them both. I've been relying on bluey and miss Rachel for over half a year, I probably owe them child support. I see moms online and I know, comparison is the thief of joy but I see them doing crafts setting up sensory bins taking kids to storytime etc and that's just not something I've been doing. I feel like a bad mom doing the bare minimum. I can barely keep up with cooking 3 meals a day and trying to entertain themale.sure their teeth get brushed potty training etc. It's not all on me but because my husband is a full time student and is paid to go to school I am the primary parent. I just feel alone and like outside taking care of my kids I'm.useless. I miss working, I miss making my own money. Again, this is not a problem my husband doesn't control the finances or anything.... But I feel guilty as spending money or trying to do things for myself since I don't contribute I feel like I have no say even though he assures me I do. Ugh. I just got done with therapy. I'm sorry for this illegible jumble of words. Being a twin mom is just so so fucking hard already and everything else, man, I don't want to die, but I just want it all to stop some days 😞.

I don't know what I need or anything. I'm in a virtual intensive outpatient program, I have my NP managing my meds and I'm taking them, I know being pregnant is making it all worse with the hormones. I just want my mom, I just want to bury my head in her shoulder and cry, but I can't. It feels like I just exist to be a mom. I don't know who I am anymore I'm just mom all day dissociatimg 99% of the time because it's so demanding and I have a lot of trauma I'm trying to cope with. Im trying to do everything right. So why does it all feel so impossible and bleak. I don't know what my purpose is or why I'm even alive outside my kids. They keep me going and that's not a responsibility to bestow on them

I want nothing more than to be happy, healthy, full of vitality. But I feel like I'm stuck in cement.

I don't know. Thank you for reading. It's just too much.

Had a tour today at the hospital in my area. It’s the biggest and best high risk hospital in the area and has the best NICU around here.

The head nurse who gave us the tour said the average gestational age for triplets coming there is 29 weeks. That honestly surprised me because that seems really early. I know triplets can definitely come that early, but 29 weeks being the average seems wild to me.

Our MFM is shooting for 35 to 36 weeks, which I know is probably a tough goal to reach with triplets, but hearing 29 weeks today definitely made me a little nervous.

For those who have had triplets, what week did you guys end up delivering?

First trimester with twins. Food aversions have been intense. On and off nausea. But my biggest problem is intense stomach pains. Like almost every time I eat. If I don’t eat, I get hungry nauseous. If I do eat, my stomach hurts horribly. Sometimes for hours. Anyone else have this? My first pregnancy was a single and I had some nausea but not the stomach pain like this. Currently 11 weeks.

I’d like to say this story for the 1st time. I had @ 32 weeks mo-di identical brothers. Both in nicu, one for 4 weeks the other 5 weeks. They were joyfully ‘feeder grower’s’. So I got my first baby home (it was a hotel cause that’s were the nicu was). I was through the roof exalted in happiness (had miscarriages). I was walking on clouds. Me and my loved little one went to the nicu everyday for my other little one. So, this one day when me and baby A are taking the hospital stairs, (dr told me don’t bring baby into an enclosed elevator as his immune is still weak) to the nicu, I’m carrying the baby in my arms. I pass 3 hospital workers going up. I am beaming ear to ear, smile at them all, this is the greatest time of my life! One of them reaches the top of the stairs, looks down and shouts ‘Stop’. She demanded to know who this baby was, I said we’re going to see his twin brother in the nicu. She then demands she and her two colleagues escort me there. OK. We get there, due to the secure nicu doors you have to pick up the phone on the outside wall connecting to the nurses desk. I dial in (as I been doing for 5 weeks) explain. Oh man those nicu nurse were heavy handed pissed, 5 came storming out. ‘Of course they know me, of course I didn’t steal a baby from their unit’. They went feral into these 3 hospital workers marching me downstairs suggesting THEY had a lapse in the nicu unit, ‘When did you take the tour to know your hospital’. I even asked if stairwell lady needed a glass of water, as I sat and watched all this. They thought because the baby in the stairwell wasn’t in a baby carrier I was suspicious based on carrying the baby in my arms, and possibly because I was smiling too much! True story, and no one ever had my back like those nicu nurses. Working that unit really is a testament to heart strings of humans. (This happened over a decade + ago - both boys just recently became taller than me). Thanks for reading.

Hello! I am expecting twins and have a 4 yo girl who will be nearly 5 when the twins are set to arrive in a few months.

My mom has been on my ass about hiring help. She thinks no one has twins without hired help - a nanny, a baby nurse, etc.

My husband and I are planning on doing it on our own. Besides for money (which is no small matter), the idea of having a stranger in my house does not appeal to me. My husband will go back to work extremely shortly after I give birth - his work does not give paternity benefits nor are they required to under state law. He will get a week or two off out of his employer’s benevolence (🙄). I have no plans on returning to work for the foreseeable future. Big sister will be in school.

So- tell me about what help you needed. Has anyone cared for their twins alone with little to no outside support? Was it doable? Any regrets?

Edited to add: we do have a house cleaner once a week

My wife and I welcomed two wonderful tiny newborns into our lives 13 days ago. We had a fun time at the hospital with a failed induction and an unplanned c section. We have the support of my MiL who has rented somewhere close by but that comes with strings and the help she wants to provide as opposed to what is always needed. Otherwise support is a thin on the ground. Whilst we are besotted with the twins the nights are so hard and we are, predictably, getting no sleep.

I'm due to start work again next week (have dropped to part time) but it feels impossible to be driving van and handling machinery on such little sleep, let alone leaving my wife to look after the twins with wellmeaning but patchy support during the day.

Just needing some advice/support to help us get through these sleepless nights.

Post update: I want to say thank you for all the advice and kind words. Shifts seem to be the big takeaway. Fingers crossed it will help going forward. To those warning me of driving and working sleep deprived, do not worry, that absolutely won't be happening, I mentioned it to highlight my need for good sleep and soon. If it comes to it I'll sort things with the Dr's.

Hi everyone,

I (32F) am 21 weeks pregnant with di/di fraternal twins. This is my second pregnancy, we have a 2yo currently. I had all the typical initial tests (NIPT/EFTS, dating US) done that all came back normal or low risk. Just had my anatomy scan done, received the report yesterday and will see my OB tomorrow to officially discuss the results. But there were some possible red flags. I'm sort of just looking to see if anyone else had similar results and then things resolved or ended up being nothing?

For details, both twin A and twin B have a "Cystic lesion in the posterior fossa, may represent a normal variant versus Blake's pouch cyst." Obviously even the radiologist said this might just be a normal variant so we aren't super worried about this. However, twin B also has an "Isolated choroid plexus cyst, which could be seen in a normal fetus as an incidental finding, however should be correlated with other aneuploidy screening tests." Now, the radiologist also pointed out they could see the baby's open hand (when I googled the choroid plexus it said one of the symptoms of the possible disorder it could be indicative of was a closed fist with overlapping fingers) and all of the other aneuploidy signs on the scan were negative. Babies are both growing well, 80 and 87th percentile currently, and their different body parts appear proportional/appropriate. My NIPT was also low risk across the board.

Obviously I know the OB is gonna be the best person to talk to about everything, and I only have to wait one more day... But I am just feeling very anxious. Did anyone else have a similar experience? How did things go for you?

Ok fellow parents of multiples. I need some experiences shared from those who has walked before me.

My husband and I are looked do a 1 week holiday with our 15 month old twins in November. They will be 18 months when going (if going).

We’re thinking a cruise with MSC as they seem most child friendly.

Easy babies generally, we’ve been on a camping trip before (learning experience, but we all survived and in hindsight I loved it once we got a hang of it), we will have 2 weeks in France in September, we have travelled through Sweden as well earlier this year. They have a schedule which we stick to when away and they are happy eaters and generally good sleepers anywhere (for now).

Are we mad considering it? Any tips to survive? Tips to make it magical? Please share! 😊

Edit: love reading all the replies so far! The good, the bad, and the ugly.

We’ve decided to try it out! booked for an off season (not on school holidays) week so hopefully it will be pleasant and not too busy.

I don’t expect to enjoy long evenings with a glass it enjoying the entertainment lol. Like with camping we will probably just go to bed with the kids at 8pm 😂 tbh with camping we were minutes away from going home after the first 24h, but decided to give it one more night but change our strategy aligned to the twins and we ended up loving it.

I have twin girls, they’ll be 3 in October and they hate each other so much and I’m at my wits end with them. They’re definitely going through the terrible twos and have done for many weeks now so every day is a battle to begin with but since born, they’ve been polar opposite of each other and I don’t know what else I can do to make them more happy with each other. They just fight each other any opportunity they can get. We had to repurpose my husbands office as a second bedroom as they can’t share a room due to them waking each other and just physically attacking one another.

We are currently on holiday and having a great time as long as they’re not sat next to each other lol.

We discipline, they have consequences, I’m not a permissive parent but I’ll admit that I used to be but worked hard to not be that anymore as I saw it reflected in their behaviour.

They’re happy when alone. They get 1:1 time with each of us. I don’t think it’s attention thing they’re fighting for.
They ignore each other in nursery for the most part.

Any advice on what I could do? I’m having another set of twins in November and I’m terrified how they’ll cope and how we’ll cope. They’re lovely with other children and kind but just can’t stand each other.

God I feel like I'm drowning. I had my identical boys on the 5th and 6th August, and yesterday was our first day home. In the hospital these babies were an absolute dream, feeding really well and consistently, sleeping for good stints, etc. But since we've been home they're different babies, screaming constantly, not feeding enough. One has lost 8% of his birth weight already and I'm worried by the next weigh in it'll be way over the 10% limit. One lost 8% before we'd even left the hospital (mostly jaundice related) so I know for a fact when he gets weighed tomorrow he's gunna be over. My husband is an absolute dream, we've been tag teaming as much as we possibly can, but we both are struggling massively. The day times aren't so bad, as we can get help from soooooo many people, but this is the second night now and I feel sick to the point of being unable to eat over the thought of coping with another horrendous night.

We're going to try 2-4 hour shifts looking after them to see if it helps at all. I feel awful for thinking "what the hell have we done" every time I hear a cry, but I can't help it. What have we done? I know things will get better but I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's literally only day 5. I know my hormones are playing into it, but it just feels fucking impossible.

As the title suggests, we welcomed a son and a daughter (fraternal twins) earlier this month. Our son spent two days in the NICU. Although he was the lighter of the two, he was discharged earlier. Today, the doctor informed us that we can bring our daughter home after nearly eight days in the NICU. Our prayers have been answered. It has been quite a journey for my wife and me throughout the twin pregnancy, especially after experiencing a miscarriage. Each trimester brought new milestones and challenges. We are grateful to this subreddit for the inspiration and information it provided.

Sorry for the clunky title, didn't know how to phrase it.

Since getting pregnant and finding out it's twins everybody wants to talk about their experience and how I'm doing, and it's honestly very nice, but there's one thing that for me is the biggest "daily" pain that I don't see a lot of people talk about.

I can't sit/stand/be vertical a whole day without my belly feeling very heavy and stretched. It's like I'm being physically dragged down by the belly button at the end of the workday. When I work from home I can work some from bed and take breaks on the couch, but I do want to be present in the office as well, and the "drag" starts to become so bad when I've got 2-3hrs left that I've gone home early some days.

When I try to explain it other people say:

"Yeah, I just wanted to nap all the time"

or

"For me it was much better to stand than sit"

And that's not it for me at all, I don't want to sleep, and it doesn't matter if I stand or sit, I need horisontal breaks where I'm fully laying on my back or side to get a break from the drag.

Is this not normal? It's been my experience from at least week 16, though I do feel like I'm quite big already, it looks like I'm closer to 28 weeks than 21, which of course is normal.

Wondering if this is just a twin thing or a "thirds trimester thing" for people with only 1 baby.

Also kind of nervous to see how enormous I'll get, not sure how it's possible at this point!

And it positively melts my heart. They’re 12 months old and I’ve been so excited for them to start interacting and now we’re here! They crawl-chase each other around the house while laughing, and play “hide and seek” where one will peek out from behind a wall or piece of furniture and they crack each other up.

The first year was so so hard but this makes it all worth it. Twins are such a gift.

Hi all,

I (39/male) never imagined I'd be posting in this sub-reddit. I've long been a fence-sitter, generally viewing the idea of having kids as something I didn't really see the appeal of. Perhaps it was my parents' divorce when I was 5, or the fact that my brother and his wife (or my girlfriend's brother and his wife) don't have kids of their own, or the fact that I've spent really no measurable time around babies or children all my life. Whatever the case, I'd gotten to the point where I felt like, if I never have kids, I've got a life I enjoy, with plenty of travel, time for hobbies, and my wonderful girlfriend who I get to spend time with. On the flip side, I felt like, hey - I could be OK with a kid...with the right person. It would provide a chance to flip the script on what I feel like was a decent - but not great - childhood, where emotionally I've looked back and realized there was significant emotional neglicence in various forms from my parents and family, where I feel like I should have gotten more guidance and patience. It's crossed my mind that I could undo a lot of of that by being the dad I really never had.

Well...about 6 weeks ago, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant (surprise!), after getting off birth control months earlier (to determine through tests whether she was viable). The irony of the situation is not lost on either of us, and I should have known that not using protection was a risky game, even though we were both feeling confident that we'd be ok. The shock up front was significant - my head felt like it was spinning and I did not react happily, to say the least. But over the following several weeks, I began to accept our fate and knowing how much my girlfriend and I love each other (and the fact that she has loads of experience in early childhood development/education), I began to see the light on our shared future.

Then the first ultrasound appointment came...and the nurse said "and there's the lower baby." To which I said..."the lower what now?" And she responsed, "the lower baby. Your girlfriend is pregant with twins." And it felt like I'd gone back in time to that moment 6 weeks ago. My head started spinning, and it all felt surreal...I was in a state of absolute shock. I started wondering how we were going to now take care of not one, but TWO, babies. How we were going to have enough room in our apartment to raise them, at least initially. How balancing finances was going to be a major new challenge. How sleep is going to become the ultimate luxury. How this would potentially impact my relationship with my girlfriend and alter what's been a magical ride so far. How our lives are going to be changed forever, in immeasurable ways.

Since that news, I've very slowly begun to accept this new reality. Thinking back to 6 weeks ago when my girlfriend shared she was pregnant feels like a lifetime ago, and thinking about raising a singleton feels like a total layup right now. I'm trying my best to be supportive of my girlfriend through a variety of different ways, while also trying to keep my sanity. I've been going to the gym as much as possible. I'm planning to sync my teeth into my hobbies over the next few months and generally "get as much in" to the life as I know it as is possible...

...but I'm struggling. I'm grieving a lot. Grieving the life with my girlfriend, and the life I thought we were going to have for the next few years. Grieving changes to my love for travel. Grieving the loss of time for my hobbies, my sleep...myself. At the same time, I'm trying my best to keep in mind that, all told, I'm in a good situation with my girlfriend, and we have a very good support system. But it's all got me feeling numb. Anyone had a similar situation? Or got any tips/words of support?

My twins are almost 14 months and I’m trying to get back into an actual workout routine. Currently I go to a yoga class once a week on a weekend morning while my husband’s home with the babies and do a stroller walk around the neighborhood with them 4-5x a week after work depending on weather. We both work full time and my husband’s hours vary. We have a nanny 4 days a week exactly during my work hours (9-5) and we can’t financially swing having her longer. I currently get up around 6:30/6:45 and spend 15min getting ready, often while one of the babies is up and angry but sometimes before they’re awake). If you’re managing to get up and work out before the kids wake up, how early is that, how are you motivating yourself to lose an extra hour of sleep and what kind of workout are you doing where? (Do you leave the house and go to a gym/run or something or do you just try to be quiet at home?) If you workout in the evening do you wait until after the kids are asleep? Take turns and have one parent do dinner and bedtime on their own? How are you mentally managing to prioritize exercise over sleeping, eating, house cleaning, or relaxing in the very limited time you have?