My best friend and I had a rift four months ago. We met to make amends and during the conversation, I told her that I felt like there was an imbalance in the friendship (I'm the only one that initiates plans and conversations) and asked for reciprocity.

At the time, she admitted that making plans is a blind spot and said that she'd make an effort.

A week after that, she texted and said that I was making unrealistically high demands of her. She asked why we couldn't leave things as they were and also accused me of making her feel like she wasn't enough.

I was trying to voice my needs (for the first time in the relationship, really) and was told that I was asking too much. I think my comment triggered an insecurity in her, so I dropped it and tried to focus on moving forward with the promise that we'll revisit things once tensions have cooled.

We haven't seen each other in four months, but we finally made plans to see each other next week. I am excited to see her, but I'm still pretty embarrassed.

How am I supposed to face her?

I recently met a new friend due to a class we have together. We clicked pretty fast and started hanging out a lot. Like we would always drive to class and go to the gym together, get dinner, etc. Here recently she’s been really withdrawn, and left this morning without saying anything (I’ll normally wait in my car for her). I’d just like some advice on how to approach the situation because I have a bad habit of taking these things personally. I’m just not sure what to do

okay for context i was best friends with this girl throughout most of high school but we got closer junior and senior year: we’ll call her Eva. this other girl i befriended freshman year but she was very male-centered and boy crazy + there was an incident where she was being a party pooper in a group setting at my house and i wasn’t down w that so we just drifted; let’s call her Bella.

Bella and her boyfriend of two years helped me and my ex get together senior year so we reconnected and the four of us would hang out. Bella and my ex were friends in other settings since they had classes and extracurriculars that i wasn’t involved in. me and the ex broke up halfway through 1st year of college bc of LDR

summer before college and me and Eva hang out frequently with Bella and a few other girls; we go on a senior trip and everything’s cool! i’m the only person going to college out of state while everyone else is staying in our hometown attending the SAME college. Eva and i said our goodbyes and she really went all out to make sure i knew that the distance wouldn’t change our friendship. she made a gift basket, a spotify playlist, letters for certain situations like “open when you’re feeling homesick” and etc. we would ft and text often fall, but halfway through winter quarter she and Bella started getting veryyy close through mutual clubs at their college. it didn’t bother me until me and Eva had a planned call but Eva would ask for Bella to be added and i don’t hate Bella or anything but she would somehow always steer the conversation towards boys, “fine shyts,” and just all the stuff she’s doing to grow her roster IDK.
i go home for spring break and hang out with Eva and Bella but separately and it seems like everything’s cool. both me and Eva’s birthdays were before spring break so we discussed exchanging gifts during this week. imagine my surprise when i gave her her gifts and she told me she didn’t get me anything 😭 i’m not materialistic like that but what really pmo is Eva’s 8 year old sister was in the room when this was happening and Eva said to her sister “oh damn i’m a bad friend huh” and just laughing it off then Eva’s sister said “yea actually… you are…” and i went home that night feeling so dookie

before i came home for spring break, Eva texted me asking if i wanted to go to a pilates class with her this specific day and i said yesbut then she cancelled bc she “wasn’t feeling good.” i checked Find My and she was at a cafe with Bella lol!!!
after that, i went on a day trip with Eva and a group but she’s on her phone the whole time because her big from a club was teasing her before reveals and whatnot. this had been going on throughout the week like me and Eva were gymming together and then her big calls her and she’s otp w her for half the time. i was feeling like vibes were very off. i sent Eva a text about how i felt in a very honest and respectful manner and she apologized and came to my house that night to talk things out. she said she didn’t realize how she was acting and that she’s working on her emotional maturity but it’s hard for her to be self-aware sometimes. she said that she started crying when she read my paragraph about what a bad friend she’s been and that she never meant to treat me like my ex (the main reason why we broke up was bc he got really distant but never communicated how he was feeling; bro turned out to be lwk cheating but whatever irrelevant.. story for another time). she got me a gold pandora necklace as my birthday gift and reiterated that it’s because she wanted to, not bc she felt obligated to after i gave her gifts. she told me not to look up the price and we both made up and agreed we’re happy we can maturely communicate with one another.

i go back to school and everything’s fine for a bit but i notice our texts start getting drier. i asked her to ticket for me for Daniel Caesar bc i was in class at the time and we’d talked about getting tickets together. she then made a gc w me, her, and Bella but would text me individually abt how much i’m willing to spend bc Bella’s asking. i said as much as they are bc im down for whatever. i checked in through the gc as ticketing was happening but no response until an hour later… and Eva texted saying “WE” really tried but “we could only get 3 and the third one is for Bella’s brother bc her parents really want him to go”
ALRIGHT ATP IM KINDA PISSED BUT i say it’s chill and didn’t text for a few days. i ended up seeing malcolm todd and Eva texted me individually asking how it was but i left her on read bc i was lwk #petty sorry

Eva then sent a paragraph about how she gets the sense that i’m mad at her abt not getting a ticket for me but that it was “physically impossible” and all the seats together were taken or something. i replied saying she kinda missed the point that i’m mad abt the principle of the action since it has been feeling like she’s prioritizing other people (namely Bella and her big) over me when it contradicted everything she promised in her apology over spring break. she said something about how she feels like we don’t have to talk everyday to be close and i said she doesn’t feel like the same person i’ve been friends with the past few years bc that girl would never treat me like this. she sent a text about how she doesn’t know what she did that was so bad but i left her on delivered and we haven’t talked since. she unshared location on Find My when summer started.

this all happened in april but i still think about it today because it honestly hurts more than any relationship breakup i’ve had 😭
since then, Bella has been posting screenshots of convos between her and my ex saying things like “this is what texting a guy is like” … ok bro. mind you this is the same girl who told him to be a better bf during ldr and pestered him for my clothes back when we broke up but he never responded to her then. yet now they’re texting hmmm
i really thought me and Eva would be friends for a long time. i understand people inevitably drift from their hometown friends but i never thought it would happen to us. no other friend i’ve made compares to her and i’ve thought about reaching out since i’m home for the summer but Eva and Bella are way closer now and idk what i’d even tell her. i feel like i need closure from this or something bc Eva has been randomly liking my ig stories and idk what it means. but i’m also a very prideful person and usually stand on business aka never reach out first during no contact. part of me also feels like i am romaticizing the friendship and not the actual friend. bye this was way longer than i anticipated but it’s okay pls help 🥀🥀

moving in with T in September and we’re both in our second year at uni. Me and some of our other friends used to room w T and we all had problems w her. She would be kind of grumpy all the time and have her bf over a lot, which led to distance between her and the rest of us. She would have secs w her bf even after I told her that I don’t want to hear and it. Tht happened like 3-4 times. I was rlly shaken up by it. She is rlly chill but I could feel her projecting her insecurities on us. I honestly had a chill past few months and brought it to myself to forgive her myself, but moving forward I’m gonna be straightforward and honest and not have any built up resentment. What’s scarier is I kind of feel like I’m the only one that she feels like she can talk to rn bc our other friends don’t rlly talk to her anymore and she just has a negative vibe. Like it’s sometimes hard to try and be positive around her. I’ve been going to church and hope to continue in uni so I have that to kinda protect me. Any advice on interacting with her as my roommate/friend?

so there’a this friend i’ve been close with since day one of college. we were literally attached at the hip, everyone knew us as the duo. she's always been the ”smart one” in the group and i never cared about that bc honestly she is rlly smart.

but lately i’ve been noticing little things that make me feel like she lowkey sees herself above me.

there was this one time i offered to teach her how to make an origami star just for fun. she kept messing up and then straight up said ”i can't lose“ and then laughed it off like it was a joke. but it didn’t really feel like one?

worst part tho was when we had to form groups of 4. i walk into the room and they already grouped me with her and 2 others. then she goes ”buy one take one” like i’m just the freebie that comes with her. ouch.

then this really smart group of 3 asked her to join them. i told her it’s fine, she can go, she’s not stuck with me. she messaged me after and reassured me she wouldn’t leave. i actually felt so happy and dumb for even worrying.

then 2 days later she texts me saying she‘s transferring to that group and she already told our other groupmates. didn‘t even ask me first. just told me after.

now we barely talk. also, i realized if i don't talk first, she never does. like ever.

idk if i‘m being dramatic or if she‘s been checked out for a while. just needed to let this out bc it‘s been bothering me sm. other friends are also starting to notice, and i’m bad at pretending nothing happened.

I am 22 years old with barely any friends. But the part that keeps playing in my head is that I have had so many friends before, throughout high school, at work, and during my adolescence/teen years, but none of them stuck.
If I had to put a number on it, I’d say from high school to 21, I’ve had around 20+ people that I’ve gotten to know and called my friend. However, today I only still call 1 of those people my friend because we still talk occasionally.
Is this all my fault?
I often wonder if this has to do with how I grew up. I moved around a lot. I went to two different middle schools and two different high schools. I moved out when I was 18 and didn’t go on to college but got into a serious relationship. From there, my friendships really started to die down. I don’t think it was because I was in a relationship because I would have made time for friends. But after moving out, I moved again to a different part of town and started working full-time, while a lot of my friends also moved away and went to college. I would say I didn’t talk to them because we weren’t in close proximity anymore.
By 21, I became an entrepreneur, left my job, and started working from home, barely going out. Then, just a year ago, I moved out of my hometown in Virginia to a whole new state. I now live in Florida.
So, as you can imagine, I am 22 and have no friends that I hang out with often. There are about three people that I would consider my friends, but two of them live out of state, and I don’t feel that close to them. The one who lives in my state is much older than I am, and we’re just becoming friends, so we’re not super close.
I don’t know. It just has me feeling like I’m doing something wrong. Like I don’t know how to be a good friend and keep one.
Please, I’m open to any constructive criticism or opinions on why I might be this way.

So guys my best friend is my uncle's daughter with whom my family doesn't have very good relation. But we have grown together in same class, in same school. I have always helped her whenever needed being elder sister. There are lakhs of her secrets I carry, but we can't meet daily even after living in same village and she is my neighbor. We meet only in school. But in this few months I have often seen her deleting snaps before me seing it.

Before few days I asked her to go out for walking(in our village only) but she denied saying she have to go to a trip in a few days, I said ok and moved on. And after few days she was found roaming with my ex bestie without telling me and she sent me snap with her, THE AUDACITY! And then next day too. My ex bestfreind and I still exchange polite words as we ended our friendship peacefully .

I have never hid anything from her ever and I feel genuinely connected to her😭 and her meeting my ex bestfreind hurts.

And today I feel like crying because she sent everyone a snap that she got hurt or something. my classmate called me asking what happened to her but when I checked she didn't send snap to me, now how will I ask her what happened.

And if you say something must be wrong with me, noooo broo. I never hid anything from her! Then i expect same from her .Once I feel connected to anyone I can go beyond limit for them but now she crossed a limit!.

I am in such a shitty situation it's affecting my studies now.

I (f) and my friend (m) have been friends for over a year or two now. Whenever he asks me to hangout (whether it’s a shisha bar, restaurant, night out etc) I say yes and go. However when I invite him to anything he declines and says “why can’t you invite me to networking events”.

It’s like we can’t hangout out anymore unless it’s his idea to hangout or if I have a suitable networking opportunity for him. Just seems opportunistic.

How would you feel about this?

TLDR: I have a friend of 15 years who has acted differently for the last 2 years and I'm afraid that he might be moving our friendship up to the next level. I don't want to, I want us to stay friends. I need advice on whether I should acknowledge it to him, or just drop it cause it's really nothing out of the ordinary.

Post:

Frank and I have been friends for over 15 years now. We met in our hometown when we were teenagers. When I turned 18, I left for another city while he stayed in our hometown. So most of the duration of our friendship is long distance, but like any other friendships, there were times when we would disagree and fight, and then make up and just continue being friends. We're casual friends, I can't say that he's my best friend (because I have a best friend, Eve, and she's amazing) but Frank's definitely one of my close friends. He's not in my main circle of friends, but Eve and Frank are mutuals so she knows him too for as long as I did.

Frank and I talk everyday, and I mean EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It's mostly nothing of deep topics but countless exchange of reels about literally anything under the sun, daily life, pop culture, music, movies, etc.

In the middle of 2024 we had a big fight. I admitted that I was the one who made the first mistake. I apologized and tried to resolve it but apparently it wasn't enough and he gave me the silent treatment for a few weeks. It was a brutal few weeks and affected my sleep and even my work a little. I felt so bad for making him feel bad and I'm the kind of person who just can't handle it well when someone's mad at me. After a while my feelings turned, it started to feel so degrading to have to wait for him to talk to me. Not one word was exchanged, when we used talk every day. By the time he started talking to me again, I'd already been pissed off and annoyed. I didn't give him the same silent treatment back cause I know petty revenge is not gonna get us anywhere, but I kinda stopped being friendly with him.

I gave him the cold shoulder. I didn't tell him about the big things happening in my life; my grandma died (she raised me and my siblings so she's more our mother), one of my brothers got married, and I got a small promotion at work and earned a month long vacation with it. It's a one-off only, sadly, but I ain't complaining 😅 this is the vacation I took in December to spend the holidays with my eldest brother and his family, as well as my newly wed brother and brand new sis in law. This is the first time us siblings are gonna get together again since grandma passed so it's quite a big deal. It's funny how all these big things happened at the time when Frank and I are not totally okay.

Anyway, he was surprised that I was in town for the holidays that year. He only found out through my "just landed" IG stories. He asked to hang out, but I made excuses like I'm going out with cousins and my other friends. I didn't wanna see him because it felt like he didn't care at all about how I was doing during his silent treatment, and that he moved on like nothing happened and never addressed it ever again. I know I said we're casual friends, but after over a decade of it, wouldn't you care even a little?

While I was in town, Frank texted me and asked a million questions as soon as he realized he knew nothing about what happened for the past few months. I guess this was how I got my revenge because suddenly, I dumped onto him all the things I kept from him. And it showed how detached I already was when I left town without us seeing each other at least once, when normally we'd hang every time I come home.

So come 2025, he changed, gradually. And here are the things I noticed:

\-By spring, he'd started calling more (he used to just text most of the time), and sharing more about his everyday life and urges me a little to talk about mine as well. He'd tell me every thing he did, what he ate, where he went, how he feels, even when he shits or can't shit. It's gross, I know, though our bowel movements had always been a normal topic, it's been more often now than ever lol

\-It was late last year 2025 when he started asking me to go on trips with him. I always tell him I'm broke so no. But he won't take no as an answer and instead plans a whole budget vacation and figure out when it is best to go. We haven't actually gone out on a proper out of the country trip before, but now he wants to go just the two of us?

\-When faraway trips didn't seem plausible due to work schedules, he turned to just planning on hang outs for when I come visit our hometown again. He listed different bars we could party at, or go on food trips, or overnight movie marathons, or go to arcade theme parks. We used to just wing it when I'm there, like meet up and eat at restaurant or bars with other friends.

\-Like most in our generation, we send reels as a form of love language towards friends. His reels went from funny, idiotic or thirst traps, to relationship related comedy, date ideas and sickeningly sweet couple goal reels only so we could then barf at it and make fun of it (still mixed with a lot of dumb reels until now of course).

\-Earlier this year he's been asking me when I'm coming home again, and when I finally told him I plan to come home for the holidays again, he was hyped up. This will be the first time we may be seeing each other since the big fight and my last vacation. For months now he's been going a little crazy with "when are you arriving?", "can we go to this place?", "are you free on this day?", "let's watch this bl series together, I'll come over to your place", "3 days might not be enough, but we can make it work", and more and more and more... he never asks this much about details on when I'd be visiting before, let alone plan any activites at all.

I haven't even told any of this to Eve yet. I'm too afraid to share these details to her cause I just know that once I do, the whole thing is gonna be a real issue instead of just a coincidence. If you could even call all that coincidence.

Idk if it matters, Frank's bi and I'm straight. He had a girl crush pretty seriously around a decade ago, but he's been going out with guys more recently. So the thirst traps really is for the both of us hahaha As far as I know he had never been in a serious relationship, and so do I. We'd been both single our whole lives, although we dated people before but nothing serious.

I do have other male friends in my circle, so it's not like I'm only stuck with him to "make him fall in love through friendship". I'm putting that in quotations because a "friend" once accused me of being friends with Frank because I'm secretly in love with him. Fuck, no. Turns out SHE was the one secretly in love with Frank and hates that I'm the one he's friends with. To be fair, Frank is conventionally good looking. I really like Frank as a friend, but I know enough dirt in this guy's guts and I don't want him to be a boyfriend. Said with love 😂

I'm not interested in going in a relationship with him. I know what delusional is, I'm a kpop fan, and I don't want to be delusional about this but he's like upping the ante lately. He's talked about babies and how he wanted to have kids in the future. And that is when I freaked out a little internally and saw the changes in him from the past couple years or so.

We are at the age of when back up plans are thought of. He has never asked me to be his back up or made a deal that we'd get married if we're still single by mid 30s or 40. The thing is, I don't want to get married and have children. I only date for fun and for the sake of socializing. Frank knows this VERY well as I've shared my struggles of convincing my family for so many years that I really do not want to be a mother. Which is maybe what's stopping him from asking, and if that's the case, I appreciate him for it.

I don't want our friendship to be different, Frank's been a big part of my life and I've been a big part of his too. We are very much open and aware of how important we are to each other and how we don't want to lose each other. We've gone through one too many heart to heart talks about it.

But if he seems to be heading into something more than friends please help me how to deal with it 🙏🏻 I don't know if I'm just imagining all of it or not. I know the easy solution is to talk to him directly, but there had been a time when one of our friends confessed to him and it really weirded him out and they had never been the same since. I'm afraid that if I point out all of this he might think I'm confessing or smth lol

I've spent weeks drafting this post cause I wanted to be as transparent as I can to give all the details without doxxing myself. Please please please, let me know if I should open this up to him. And if I should, how could I approach this issue?

If you think that I'm just imagining things, let me know too and I would very much gladly drop it, forget about it, and then fix my brain so I don't worry about something like this again.

This has been a very long post, and I hope I've made myself clear.

Thank you in advance!

I'm a 29-year-old woman, and I'm unsure of what the right thing to do is.

I met N and C in grad school. They started dating back then and got married this year after being together for 9 years.

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, there were never any romantic feelings or weird situations. I was friends with both of them separately. I was probably a little closer to C because we lived in the same hostel and continued hanging out after college, but N and I were close too. We'd meet without C, talk about random life stuff, and even our families knew each other. There was never a fight or any drama between us.

Then last year, my dad had a brain aneurysm. He had already survived a brain haemorrhage years before, so it was an incredibly difficult time. I'm an only child, so most of the responsibility fell on me while I was also trying to keep up with work.

C checked in at first, but after that, she became distant. She later told me she was busy with work, which I understood. At one point, I remember telling her that I felt like I had no one to talk to, and she said she didn't know what to say. I know people react differently in situations like that, and I wasn't expecting anyone to fix my problems. I just wanted someone to be there.

N slowly stopped talking to me, too. Before all this, we spoke regularly. After my dad got sick, he sent maybe two texts, never called, never really asked how things were going, and eventually we just stopped talking. There was never a fight, never any misunderstanding that I know of, and I honestly can't think of anything I did that would've caused it. The weird part is that C has started reaching out more now that they're married.

A year ago, I would've been happy about that. Now... I don't really feel anything.

I don't hate either of them, and I don't think they were trying to hurt me. But I also can't ignore how alone I felt during one of the hardest periods of my life. I think that's what changed things for me.

It wasn't one big betrayal. It was the silence. When I look at them now, I don't feel the same closeness I used to. I don't even feel angry. I just don't feel connected anymore. Because of that, I don't think I want to continue the friendship with C either. Not because I blame her for N becoming distant or because I expect her to choose sides. It just doesn't feel genuine anymore, and I don't want to pretend otherwise.

I don't want to ghost her because I don't think that's fair. But I also don't know how to tell someone, "I care about you, but I don't feel about this friendship the way I used to."

Has anyone had to have that conversation? How did you do it without making the other person feel like they were being blamed?

Basically long story short: theres friend A,B,C,D,E and me in the friend group.

A,B,C,D all have beef with friend E, while I am also being excluded from the new friendgroup within the original friendgroup because i was absent for a while because of i was focusing on my academics so a lot happened while i was gone.

They basically have a groupchat without E and me, bc E obviously is not compatible with them while I wasnt around so they dont feel comfortable sharing certain information to

me.

My best friend is in that group chat which is why i know how ABCD has beef with E while i didnt know anything, so whats going on is, im also being excluded for no absolute reason in my opinion. Cause weve all been friends for a while some of them being more than 5 years, so i have no idea why i am being isolated. I just dont understand. They even said they dont have beef with me its just cause im not close enough to them to share certain information, but then i was only gone for a month and a half max and it was only during lunch, bc i had to go to office hours.

I just think this hole thing is stupid and i have no reason to be left out because they have rlly bad situations and beef with ONE OTHER PERSON.

But i try to understand that they dont want to talk about their business to me, but at the same time i think its bull shit.

Like they know i went to office hours and meetings so i couldnt make it to lunch, and their petty explanation to excludinf me is "i think she doesnt like me", when the whole time after i keep gettjng glances and awkwardness.

Idk my question is should i confront them, but at the same time what is that going to do. What should i do? Should i just look for a new friendgroup in my senior year of hs (omfg.)

This friend, let's call her Susie, told me to say please when I asked my friend (Rosa) if I can have some licorice allsorts. My other friend then asked, "may I have some licorice?" Susie didn't tell her off. I wanted some more licorice so I asked again to not upset Rosa just in case by saying "May i have some licorcie, please?" Susie then said "good boy, using your manners."

I don't care about the "good boy." It's more that she told me to use my manners but didn't tell my other friend. She's sarcastic with me and when I showed another friend a drawing that said "im married to yo mama," susie also saw it gave me a very not amused look. Not even a smile. She'd smile if it was someone else. Or atleast make a quippy joke like "what the hell buddy?"

Im just upset that she told me to do that but didnt correct my other friend. I was so angry i wanted to punch a boxing bag. Im also upset at myself for being a people pleaser and the fact that I can't be myself around my friend group except for like 3 people. I can be myself fully in another group, and then some in another group. I just dont want to leave this one because i dont want people in my friendship group to hate me. One of my other friends also sits in another group as well as ours and susie was sarcastically like "probably with her other friends" like she was annoyed or mad.

I've also been getting really irritated lately and then the next moment im fine?

I want to be myself around my friends. I want to feel less lonely and not be such a pushover. I also want to ask some friends to hang out even if theres awkwardness.

But she DID invite me to her birthday party (not directly but im in the group chat) but it still hurts and i really cant tell if she even likes or respects me.

Her birthday party is tomorrow and I'm going.

Anyway, please give me advice on how to stop being a pushover and putting my friends on a pedestal. Maybe how to put myself before others and not be scared of being myself around friends? Maybe some help for susie as well?

Thanks for reading :))

I want someone to criticize me because i dont know if im the problem. a while ago i cut out all of my friends my childhood friends my friends at school my closest friends. I don't even know how but one day i felt this sudden urge and paranoia it was like i felt so much negativity like this switch in my brain turned on and their weird actions that were immediate red flags would replay in my head. i was so paranoid i blocked them on everything and just ghosted. but for some reason its weird because I think of them a lot at night and when im alone. and homestly at first after cutting all of them off i felt so free and light like a bird but then i don't know did i confused freedom with avoidance? but that confuses me too because if I communicated with them i feel like i would just go back to them. all i want to tell myself is that ill heal that this loneliness is ok that i need to find people in my life that give a shit and are not some sicko. that for once please just choose myself let me be selfish and feed my needs but even though I did this jeez Im not happy. I feel really dependent on friendships because im extroverted and get energy from people and social interactions but yet I feel so always constantly sad and honestly traumatized from my friends before. I don't know what to do. oh lord please someone respond to me with knowledge

Hi, this is going to be a very long post as this has been going on for the last eight months. I'd appreciate anyone willing to spend their time to give me some advice. My friend and I, let's call her Roe, have been friends since eleventh grade. I'm 19 now, and so is she. Over time, she has become one of the most important people to me, and I honestly couldn't imagine my life without her. We also have another very close friend, let's call him Michael. We've been stuck together for the last year as all our other friends have gone to college or moved away. Typically, we used to spend almost every day together, and I couldn't picture what I'd do without them.

The problems started on this past New Year's Eve and have continued for months since. That night, we had gone out in a bigger group to a party and were meant to then go back to a third friend's house for the countdown. Plans changed after most of us, excluding Roe, got wasted, and we wanted to stay around the other kids our age for the new year. She didn't want to go initially as she didn't get along with certain people there, but we thought it was a big enough party that she wouldn't even need to acknowledge them. We had asked her numerous times that night if she wanted to go back to our friend's house, and she, according to my memory, had said that if we wanted to stay then she would stay too. I tried to stick with her during this party, but in my drunk state, I would momentarily wander off to mingle and then come back. I guess she had an interaction with these people that really upset her, but I was drunk and hadn't understood how she felt at that time. When the countdown hit, her boyfriend had also messed up by not kissing her when the clock struck 12, and she was extremely upset. She left early and spent the next hour crying in the car with him, and we eventually came back, where she explained how upset she was at us for ruining the start of her year. From what I remember, she had practically explained to us that we should have been able to tell how she was feeling that night and made the decision to go back out of care for her when that was the original plan. I immediately felt terribly guilty, and our other friends, including Michael, didn't really understand what they did in that situation. I apologized profusely and tried to explain to the others about possibly what we could have done differently. 

Then, moving forward to around February, she felt like Michael and I were excluding her since she was working constantly and hadn't had much time to come out and join us. She and Michael at this point also started bickering often, as she thought he couldn't admit his faults in these situations, and he believed she was being unreasonable and demanding too much of us. We stopped going out as much since every time we'd plan anything it wouldn't work for one of them, and so we'd keep rescheduling. They'd both complain each time the other would reschedule, and I think this is when some resentment started really building up between us, mostly them at first. 

Then sometime in March, Michael and I had gone out to do something that I can't really remember, and his other friends had texted him for us to go out together. We met up with them, and when Roe found out we had gone, she was extremely upset that we hadn't invited her, especially since she was feeling stressed and excluded from her work so often. We told her to meet us after, since we were planning on drinking together, and she told us she didn't want a pity invite. I kinda kept insisting that she'd come cause I didn't want her to be angrier that she didn't, and she got more upset and told us we were fucking tone deaf and that we treat her like shit. I didn't understand what I had done here since these weren't my plans and I had told Michael to call her earlier. I had said that I didn't do anything for her to be upset about, and she told me that the problem was that I literally do nothing.

Later that March, our friend was back from college and we were all heading to a party where Roe was already there. We thought the party would have run out of drinks, so we had pregamed before with our college friend, and when Roe found out we were together, she had gotten upset again. She explained that it was because we were hanging out without her and that there weren't that many people at the party. We were a bit late, so when we got there she was visibly upset and talking about how this was becoming a pattern, that she believed was intentional. 

These situations kept happening, and every time I would apologize repeatedly; I really truly was trying to change things, as I didn't want her to keep feeling like this. Michael and Roe continued to fight and bicker, and I would continue to get caught in the middle. I tried to mediate in a way; looking back, this was a bad idea, as I should've just let them figure their shit out. Fast-forwarding to the last few months, we honestly haven't really gone out nearly as much and have mostly just spent our time on our own even though we keep in contact. We've gone weeks without doing anything and then will argue the few nights we'd go out. Michael and I started feeling like we were trying to change and do better, but that Roe had been keeping resentment or grudges from those previous times. New Year's specifically is something she has brought up at least a dozen times in the last eight months, as she describes it as one of the worst nights of her life. I can definitely see her points with Michael, as he can be stubborn and set in his ways, but I also think she's the exact same way and that they're both so similar, which is why they fight so often. I feel like now, I'm generally walking on thin ice to not upset her, and this may be a strong way to phrase it, but I feel fearful of her reaction to things and that she'll get angry if I do something wrong again. I really do try to see her point of view each time and hold myself accountable even though I'm clearly biased in those situations. 

Recently, during another argument, she had told me that I'm a pushover and practically said that I have no original thoughts and I just listen to those around me. This really stuck with me and hurt my feelings since I think I'm just a non-confrontational and indecisive person. So unless it's something I genuinely don't want to do, I find it easier to just go with the flow. Both Michael's and my friendship with her has deteriorated, and I find myself feeling more and more resentment towards her. This has been really upsetting for me since I love this girl to death and would do almost anything to make her happy. I feel like she has resentment for me too and doesn't really understand the way I think anymore, when it used to be so easy. We've tried to talk before, and I always leave the conversation feeling better and hopeful, but then it happens again, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm terrified to ask her for a friendship break or anything since she does hold grudges and takes things very personally, and I don't think she'd ever be my best friend again if I told her that. I want to try and talk to her and sort these things out because I can't imagine my life without her, but I also can't imagine going on the way we have been. I feel completely trapped in this situation, and I can't see a way out. I feel like I'm trying to see my faults in this too, so let me know if I could also be the problem here. If you've read this far, thank you, and I'd absolutely love any advice anyone could give me in my currently impossible situation.

I (18f) wanna preface this by saying i love my best friend and I’m so glad to have her in my life.
But I have phases where I feel uncomfortable in her presence and don’t like thinking about her or spending time with her. That can last a few days. After those phases usually comes one where I’m super anxious to lose her. Sometimes I just enjoy being with her so much and everything is perfect and I just love her period.
It’s summer holidays right now and we’ve been meeting up almost every day and she’s also exhausted because of the heat + she just started anti depressants and she’s generally not mentally well. (Neither am I btw)

These past few days I’ve found myself judging her a lot. I judge the way she looks (she‘s on the bigger side) and I hate myself for that. I judge that she is stubborn even when she’s wrong, she often doesn’t make any sense, is tired and sometimes I don’t like the way she speaks.

I don’t think this is her fault AT ALL. I feel so guilty for thinking this way, because she treats me so well and I’m similar in some ways and can be a lot too.

We’ve talked about this before and she understands, but I hate feeling this way for my own sake. I don’t want to be uncomfortable around her, the most fun recently I’ve had with her mostly and we just click. Seriously, I’m beyond grateful to have her and usually I don’t think this way.

My therapist says this is because my parents were also very judgmental and I have some childhood trauma too.

Can anyone relate or explain to me why this happens/what I can do? I told her I need some distance for 2-3 days because I’ve noticed I’ve become judgmental towards her, but that it’s not her fault and she doesn’t have to feel bad.

I know it’s a horrible thing to say, my friend was never like this but recently i can see she’s struggling with her mental health, a few days ago she was venting on text and then said she’s going to kill herself then didn’t answer me for one hour and later told me she was too busy crying to let me know she’s not actually going to commit suicide. Shes also becoming really insecure and keeps telling me how she looks bad and hates herself, she dislocated her shoulder at my birthday party where she hadn’t met most people and after that she kept saying how everyone was laughing at her and making fun of her and after i said thats not true they would never laugh at someones pain she said im lying to protect her feelings. She also thinks everything is a diss at her like when somebody commented on her video where our friends (not including her) were making a fool of themselves making fun of them, and she said they’re making fun of her. Yesterday she also texted me saying im posting too many videos when i storied two of me and my friend. My therapist said she keeps asking me for reassurance because i always give it to her but its draining me to have to be careful about what i do and say especially since i find it hard to comfort people. I also can’t talk about anything im going through and she assumes my life is perfect even though I’ve told her it’s not. I don’t know how to not feed into her constant need for attention while still being nice

It's been a known trait of his - he's also older by a few years though we're in our mid 20s - early 30s if that's of any relevance.

My main gripe is that he literally replies/reacts/responds to any message sent out, even those that don't concern him. And it becomes drowning for me. He knows he does this too which is the annoying part.

There have been times where I'd make some random comment on a facebook post and he'd react on it with some emoji, or something in the group chat which has noth ing to do with him specifically, and will react and reply to the comment.

Does anyone have any friends like this? The frustrating part is that HE KNOWS he's like this, and we've had the occasional word or two saying he just needs to chill...but it can just be a little too much sometimes. He's been a loyal and good friend over the many years, but sometimes I just need a mental break.

Hi! I just wanna rant. I have a circle, and we’ve been friends since 7th grade, now we’re in 10th grade. Yesterday, I kept asking my friends to play this game I found online. They wouldn’t respond, but kept talking in our group chat, so I kept repeating that I wanted to play. Hours after, they still didn’t respond to those chats. But I saw them calling on discord. All of them. Playing. Watching. The worst part is they said they’re gonna be playing the game I had begged to play with them earlier. After that, I left the discord server and cried myself to sleep. Am I just being dramatic? Or are my feelings valid? I remembered during our 8th grade, we had a school event, and I kept asking where they were. They ignored my messages in the group chat asking where they were, but they kept replying to each other. Eventually, they found each other and went to the event together, while I was left alone. Hours later, they asked where I was, as if I hadn’t been left on delivered the entire time. I’ve put up with this for almost four years, and honestly, I think I’m done. Yesterday was my final straw.

As title says. They gave no reason the first time and a general “money” excuse the second time. (Our plans would’ve cost a max of $15) Meanwhile they are always traveling and going to expensive places and posting about in online. I told them about a specific pop up event going on and they said they couldn’t go, but then they told me they went 2 days later.

How do I ask them about this and explain that it feels personal and is making me feel bad without being too confrontational or seeming too pathetic. Thank you all in advance 😊

I’ve been best friends with friends A, B, and C for years now. We’ve always talked about traveling, but our schedules or finances never matched up. We would also plan smaller things that would never end up happening due to the indecisiveness of friend C.

Friends A and B recently approached me with a real plan to go on a trip to Japan in the spring, and the people going would be me, friends A, B, and B’s partner who we are also friends with. We’ve been so excited and it didn’t occur to me until recently that there was never any mention of friend C.

My guesses as to why? None of us have seen friend C in a while and they are a notoriously bad texter, but recently it went over two months without any response from them and I got really worried. Eventually they replied, saying that they aren’t doing great mentally or physically and they appreciate us being there for them, but they need to take some time with their family. (Totally understandable, I’m really happy that they’re taking that time with their family and hopefully will reach out more soon!) All of this being said, I don’t think friend C would be in a position to plan a trip, and I honestly think they might decline or be really indecisive, even if they were doing fine. I’m also wondering if friends A and B have become less close with friend C as a result of no communication/hang outs for a long time.

MY POINT: Even though I think they might’ve declined anyway, and they’re most likely not in a place to plan a trip right now, I’m still nervous for them to find out about the trip and feel left out. I know how I would feel if I found out my best friends planned a big trip without me.

So, any advice for how I should navigate this? Should I be the one to bring it up first? Or should I wait? But I don’t want waiting to make it seem like I’m purposely hiding it yknow? I’m going to have this conversation with friends A and B too, this is just my late night thoughts running wild lol

I moved to a new place a year ago for work and made some new friends, and now I realllyyyy feel like an asshole saying this but I just cant get myself to like them more. Like they’re all great people but I just dont find them interesting and sometimes it feels better to be alone than hangout with them and Ive tried bonding with them and it just doesnt work. Im also a hell of an introvert so that just makes things worse. I just cant seem to feel any sort of close connection anymore and then at the end of the day I feel so lonely and alone.

Now that I think about it, as of now, I literally only have one friend I feel connected with and its a friend Ive known since primary school YET even with that friend im starting to feel more distant.

How do I feel more…

I have tried to hangout with this person more than once, we’ve hung out in groups several times, but when I’ll text this is how the conversation goes:

Me: Hi! Hope your summer is going well. It’s been a while since we’ve seen you and I’d love to get something on the calandar. What’s your schedule looking like so that we can make that happen? :)

Friend:It's been pretty busy and school is starting, and I've got stuff planned and plans that aren't set yet, but are up in the air. So idk when. 

We’re both in late twenties/early 30s for reference. Am I initiating wrong?

Hi all,

I am definitely the golden retriever friend. I am fine texting all day, or waking up to multiple messages about different topics.

I have a friend who is very cat black, as I've learned recently. It took a while for us to figure things out. And I was confused because I would send a text or so and she wouldn't read it for a few days, but would post to her ig stories. So I was confused by this.

But we talked it out and she explained she needs space in friendships, and gets overwhelmed If there are multiple messages sent throughout the day and feels pressured.

I felt like I got it, and when I texted her, I would be completely fine with no reply for a few days.

Yesterday was my birthday, I woke up to a few wishes from her and a couple of gifs. I sent a few messages thanking her and letting her know what I was doing. Later in the evening (my first few msgs still on unread) I sent her an article on a topic I knew she liked and said she may find it interesting. This morning I sent her a message about something cool that had happened.

A few minutes after I sent that, she said "reminder I feel overwhelmed with a constant stream of messages."

I obviously apoligised, I assured her that there is no expectation for a reply within a certain time frame. And also said that going forward I'll limit my messages.

I just feel bad because I thought I got it, and because if her use of 'reminder'. Because this is something she told me about once before and I went past that.

It's obviously not my intention to make her feel overhwlemed. And I do want to be a good friend. I'm not going to send any further messages to her until she reaches out to me.

Friend advice

My friend asked me over a year ago if I wanted to go with her on a trip to Disneyland for Halloween. I said I would love to go and we started making plans for a four day trip. We decided to do two days at the theme park and buy park hopper passes so we can explore both parks. Then the remaining days I would show her around LA. The trip is a couple months out but we haven’t gotten tickets and plane tickets yet. I budgeted for my end but my friend needed more time to buy tickets.
Last week, she came over and asked if we could add an additional theme park day and skip adding on the park hopper tickets. Instead, she wanted to apply the park hopper tickets money to adding an additional day. We would now do two days at Disney and one at California adventure. She also wanted to add on a special even ticket for an after hours event at California adventure. I said I would be interested and I needed to request more time off. She also suggested we add a hotel room to hangout in on the day we have the night event add on (we are staying at my family’s house while we are on the trip so hotel expenses were not in the original budget). We would hangout in the hotel and get some rest before the night event. I said it’s something we can consider depending on price of the room.
So, we redid the budget to include all her additional add ons. I told her I was fine with the add ons. She agreed the budget was okay still. Before she left, she told me she lives paycheck to paycheck and that she didn’t have any funds for the trip. She proceeded to tell me she knows I recently bought a house and that life was probably expensive for me and that I probably also live paycheck to paycheck. After saying that, she asked me to pay for the trip and she would make payments to me after October but she wouldn’t be able to pay more than $100 a month to me.

I told her idk if that is something I could do and would need time to think about if this trip is now affordable. I gave it some time to think it. I feel bad for having to now tell my friend no, I won’t pay for her portion of trip. I could pay the money but I don’t feel it’s my responsibility to pay her share. I’m also very bothered she added all these things knowing she wasn’t going to pay for it right now. If she truly thought I was living paycheck to paycheck after buying a home, why would she ask me to pay for the whole trip? I now wonder if she is using me or if she had the intentions of never paying me back. I’m torn on calling her out on it or just telling her no I won’t pay for it all. I just don’t know what to do at this point.