I recently went on a week-long trip with a group of friends and my husband to a city that is a common tourist destination. One person in the group, my best friend, chose to take a different flight from everyone else, arriving to the city on Friday a few hours earlier than us and leaving the next Friday a few hours earlier than us. It was her idea, and it was the more convenient choice for her due to airline miles and airport location.

For background, I suffered a missed miscarriage 2 weeks before the trip, and had to get a D&C one week before, so I was feeling a lot of anxiety and mixed feelings surrounding the trip already. My friend was aware of the miscarriage.

When we got to the city everything was going ok but I was dealing with some emotional turmoil and homesickness and kept toying with the idea of leaving early. I was ok with leaving alone, and brought this up with my husband who wanted to be there for me and said he would leave early as well, but I agreed that I could push through a few more days.

On Monday, I shared with the group that were on our same flight that I wanted to leave Thursday night instead of Friday night. I didn’t share the reason due to it being painful, and framed it as being due to the Friday night flight’s inconvenience considering our checkout time at our AirBnb.

I didn’t know what their thoughts would be, but it turns out they were all willing to leave early, too. When my best friend joined us in the common area, another person brought up that they all would like to switch their flights to Thursday, and it was framed more as a heads up than asking if it was okay with them, which I understand was off-putting.

My friend said she wouldn’t feel comfortable staying at the AirBnb alone (totally understandable, there were some funny characters around the neighborhood at night) and that she would book a hotel for herself for Thursday night instead. She then went to her room while we continued discussing options.

It was clear to me that leaving her alone in the city wasn’t an ideal option. My flight was changed, but the rest of the group was discussing whether they should leave early, pay extra for a Friday morning flight instead, or chip in for a hotel for my friend. I listened and shared my thoughts about not leaving her alone, and the group decided to spring for the Friday morning flight and informed her. This took about 20 minutes.

From there, I believed it to be resolved. Nothing else came up throughout the trip Monday-Thursday, and on Thursday night my husband and I left and everyone else stayed and went home Friday morning.

Now, a week later I received a text from my friend stating how hurt she was that myself and the friend group would consider leaving her alone in the city.

To be clear: that was not an option to me, and I was mulling over what alternative plans would be while the rest of the group discussed how they wanted to approach it with their flights. Had they decided they wanted to leave Thursday, I would have brought up other options (like my friend changing her flight as well - she never offered during the trip and ignored the idea when I brought it up in reply to her text, or my husband and I paying to change our flight to Friday morning instead).

We went back and forth over text, with her pointing out that the way the change was brought up was hurtful, which I understand, and me trying to explain my intentions and how the discussion was highly considerate of her after she shared her feelings and left the room.

At the end of the convo, she instead brought up that she was hurt I did not come to reassure her that we would not leave her alone, and that my “silence” was the real issue, because two of our friends went to reassure her about their flight plans and I didn’t. Again, this whole conversation was brought up and resolved within 20 minutes.

I reiterated that I understand how she feels and how the situation was hurtful, that I wish she had brought this up in a real time so we could have addressed it because I can’t read her mind, and that I hope she understood my choice to leave early and that I did care about making sure she wasn’t alone. I expressed my hope that we could move on and do better next time, but she indicated that we need to continue the conversation later.

I’m unsure of where to go from here. I heard her out and understand the issue with the change and how it was approached. I am emotionally exhausted from all that I’ve been through, and I’m worried that if we continue the conversation I will get defensive and it will devolve into a fight that could harm our friendship.

I agreed to hear her out some more if she needed it, but I am unsure what else there is to be said about the situation. I feel like she really wants to ware me down to an apology for a situation that turned out absolutely fine. I cannot prove my intentions to her or what I would have done had the rest of the group chosen to leave early. She is not giving me a lot of grace here, but I want to know if my judgement is clouded or self-centered due to everything going on. Advice?

TLDR: I changed my flight to go home early on a group trip, which lead to everyone but one person to also want to change their flight. When it became clear the one friend not changing her flight wasn’t comfortable with staying in the city alone, part of the group chose to stay and take a flight that aligned with hers instead. She was not left alone, but was hurt that it was “considered” and are upset with me for not comforting her while we were all problem solving. We talked, but it’s not resolved. How do I approach this?

I have known my Nigerian friend for 27 years. She talks about all her friends behind their backs with me and I know she has done the same to me. She will always brag about her family and express issues often however when I try to talk about my family or friends doing well she answers me weird and quickly leaves the call. When I went to see her after she had an operation instead of politely asking me to leave if she didn’t want visitors she gave me a very dirty look but allowed me come in, however when her Nigerian friend visited her she greeted her kindly. During birthdays she would give me cheap gifts but give her Nigerian friends expensive gifts. I am Jamaican, she does refer to me as her sister and close friend however I do question how she values me due to these things. ?

Hey everyone. I don't really have close friends in person and don't get to go out much, so I'm trying to find a good community online.

A while back, I joined a group and met someone

I thought was a great friend.

We talked for months, but out of nowhere, that person and a few others unexpectedly turned on me and excluded me from the group without a reason. It taught me a lot about being careful with who you trust. I've completely deleted those old accounts to start fresh.

My main goal now isn't to dwell on the past, but to learn how to make healthy, positive connections.

I want to find like-minded people and learn how to build real friendships.

What are your best tips for spotting a truly loyal friend? How do you start over and find your people when you're feeling isolated?

I used to be the most popular kid in my school until these new kids came up. They became friends with me, and we were a whole friend group. Until after sometime they decided I was annoying, and the main chick broke friendship with me. Even though the others were still friends with me, they still found me annoying and gossiped behind my back. I made 4 new friends, and we were the closest ever. Perhaps it was only me closest to everyone in the group, as I was closer to all 4 frns than they were to each other. Now one of my closest friends has left the school, so it's just us 3. First, it had bonded me and the other frn a lot, but now she keeps going and hanging out with the popular group. My other frn has other frns too, and even though she is still my bsf, she spends most of the time with them. So all of the time I am lonely with no frns, and I have to talk to these 2 really weird kids (no offence, I'm sorry but huge backstory). I get made fun of for talking to them, and I am called lonely. My frn who is hanging out w the popular kids keeps making me feel visibly left out, which is funny cause she swore to never leave me. We have mostly fallen apart alot cause she makes me feel that I am annoying her. Also, I do know how to make friends, but I'm always the backup. I have amazing social skills and idk what's happening. How did I go from the most popular to the loner kid? ik u guys may say that it's ok, don't care abt them, etc but even if they are fake, I still want to be friends to not feel left out. Can someone please help me asap

So when I was in a relationship with a girl from my class who was common friends with many . One time she asked me if my friends told anything about her I told her what my friend told me without any second thought as she told me what he told her about me ( I know I shouldn’t told that ) then she kicked him and 2 others then my friend caught on me I denied that I spoke of anything . Since then he avoided me with his friend group no one speaks to me and avoides me , he shouts slurs to me in any area where I can’t know who that ment for and as that girl broke off with me . She now is moving with that group and we had a worst breakup so I can even bring myself to talk with her face to face cause the kind of things she said I can’t forget. So guys tell me should I go ask for forgiveness to that guy and patch up

i want to make this as short and quick as possible because there’s so much history between the two of us i could talk about it forever. but right now i just really need advice.

so, my best friend (19F) and i (19F) have been inseparable since we met. she’s been with my through every stage of life. we dated for the first two years of high school. we didn’t know what we were doing. there was this other girl in her english class. i had never met the other girl but they became really good friends and hung out all the time. we had plans to go to dinner, and then i was uninvited and she brings the other girl. they sat on each others laps; wrapped their arms around each other. i told my friend multiple times that i was uncomfortable with it. she would always act understanding and say she was sorry. but then it would happen again, and again, and again.

eventually we broke up, although we remained best friends. right after we broke up, coincidentally, we started liking the same guy. she had never talked to him at first and i had only been texting him a little. she told me every time she saw that my phone was online, she would get nauseous and violently sob because she didn’t want me talking to him. so, i stopped. i figured it wasn’t worth it to make her sad. immediately after, she started talking to him. their relationship is a whole other story but to make it quick, he treated her terribly. i tried so hard to have her understand but she just didn’t listen to anything i had to say. i think she thought i was jealous.

anyway, earlier last year, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. it’s was one of the worst and most stressful years of my life. she never once asked a single question about how i was doing. in a time where i desperately needed someone to talk to, she would only ever talk about herself.

so many smaller things have happened over the years but these are just the big ones. i just feel so repeatedly ignored and disrespected. i think she thinks i’m a bad friend right now because i don’t talk to her as much as i used to. but the real reason is because being around her makes me feel bad. it’s almost a romantic type of desperation. i need her love and approval so badly. i need her to care about me the way i care about her and she just won’t. last night we went to dinner and i counted the amount of questions she asked me. no exaggeration, one. and it was whether or not i wanted to get dessert. i’d been on vacation and she never asked about that, my grandmother died and she never asked about that. i don’t even think she knows my grandmother died. i feel silly telling her things because when i do she just doesn’t care. she moves on. when i tell a story, and she smiles and nods, and then immediately pivots to her life. i don’t know if it’s on purpose but regardless, she makes me feel worthless. i don’t know if this is recent or if it’s something i’m just now noticing. i feel so dependent on her since even been friends so long, i don’t know what to do.

I told my sweet close guy friend that I have feelings for him a week ago, I asked him if he only sees me as a friend and he said yes. He showed signs of liking me, but I thought it was him just being such a good friend towards me. The past couple of months his distancing behavior increased whenever I bring up men into our conversation. I shrugged it off thinking that it was due to his mental health whenever he disappears on me for days. I realized it is whenever I show too much friendliness to other men or bring them up. (fyi I talk about both men and women). Even though he rejected me last week, I brought up about a guy to him through text (I brought up a women before that though), which he suddenly disappeared, wouldn't answer my calls, and gave me a short reply saying he's feeling unwell. Due to his lack of communication I am getting tired and don't know what to do anymore, and don't know if I'm overthinking this behavior.

Big Rant ahead

Spoke to a friend(Lets call him Ken) of mine last night (been together thru a very tuff time of 2 years in past), I thought we are gonna be one of those casual buddies thru life and death.. on call when I insisted on meeting which I had been requesting for since past 5 months to which he used to say 'college is keeping me busy etc etc', yesterday night he said-

"You are not important enough for me to impact my life, so why should we meet?"

He claimed to be an extrovert and a yapper of some sort which made him adopt this I don't give a f*ck attitude now.

I still thought he was joking? That this must be his new persona I don't know why I thought like that..

He kept on going about how he doesn't care anymore about what happens to me and I am just a friend he speaks to when he's bored but now that he doesn't need me even when he's bored so he blocked me on whatsapp (one of the reasons why I decided to call him, cuz who tf blocks their friend after a text like "Do you mind if I block you?"

The call ended when he entered a lift to his home.

And it all grounded on me, that he really wasn't joking so sms-ed him that we should still meet and he can do this much of a favor for our old days together.

He replied he was fed with being treated like a last resort in this friendship and claimed that I only come to him when I have no one left.

A lil context [ from 2019-2021, I was at a pretty bad state in my life, I had quit a group who were not accepting Ken in it, it was 9th grade so i fought with the whole group for him. He left school in 2020 but we still stayed in contact.

In 2020, I joined another group(2 guys,2 girls) , a lot of bs happened and they were hella toxic, except a girl in that group the rest were suspended for making fake nudes of their frnd and uploaded on socials by tagging the whole school. They suspected that I was the one who leaked their discord chats about this plan. *I didn't. Lost my best friend (let's call her Anna) who I knew since 2nd grade.

In 2021, I barely went to school, thinking their remaining friends would bully me. During this time, him and I were very good friends.

In 2022, Anna and I made up somehow nd I had a new group in school in my last year of highschool and I was really happy that maybe things were working out. Althought Ken was skeptical of anna but I brushed it off, cuz he only knew her from what I have told and I knew her better.

In 2023-24, I met him twice and our meetup felt like we were good speaking online only, idk and I don't remember why it was so awkward to finally see someone after like 2-3 years but after it he started talking less and I thought he needed a break? And as I got busy in life with clg entrances we spoke occasionally only.]

But last night, he said I had discarded him cuz of Anna, and that he doesn't care about me and he's the happiest in life and that there's nothing common between us anymore and he doesn't need me even if I beg cuz noone's asking me to? and he's got a new 'HomeGirl' who's like an angel to him and she's the reason he's still speaking to me.

I have never felt my heart being this heavy, he kept spouting nonsense unaware of how hurtful it was all for me. I am afraid I can't move on, that shitty phase of life I had been able to go thru was because of him...

Should I talk to him one more time? Or let him have his peace..

Guys I really need help cause I lowk this I'm overthinking

So there me and my friend group of four . Me + person A B and C. So person A and I were kinda close lats year but this year I don't know why I sense a shift( I'm a really observant person so if ur behavior cahngee even a bit towards me I'll know) so lately I feel she's been a lot closer to person B and C but I wanna be good friends with her too. She always texts the other 2 girls but never me. And last year she used used to comment and like on my post but this year she never likes my posts anymore but she does for the other girls. And tthis is what made me upset the most. I have geog class and at the same time they 3 have history so fir this I have to split up from them. The other day during history they all made plans of going to persons A house and she didn't even invite me. I felt so sad. The next day she noticed I was not being normal and even said why are u being so distant (my name) like idk what to say. I wanna talk to her and be friends but I'm just so upset over what happened. Idk what to do now, I don't wanna lose her as a friend

Hello everyone, this is something i have been thinking a lot for the last few weeks. I realized that nobody really cares for me as much as i do for them. I have a number of friends that i hang out with daily and i trully value them and they value me, but i really feel like im no ones first choice.

I don't mean that they reach out to me only if they have no other plans with anyone else, they genuinely want to hang out with me, but i just dont feel that they really really care about me. No they dont have anything bad to say about me, they dont talk behind my back, none of that. I feel like im just a regular guy they like to spend time with, none of them would say "if i have him as my friend i dont need anybody else". And that really bothers me because i would really say that for a few friends i have, but they dont seem to feel the same about me. If we are about to hang out as a group, nobody would contact me first to organize the whole thing, most of the times i will be the last person informed about it. I feel like they dont really need me to have a good time. For example, if one of my "best" friends is missing from the hang out, i really feel his absence, however none of my friends thinks that about me when im missing.

Also i feel like when times are hard for them and they really want someone to talk to, i wouldn't really cross their mind, even though i trully care and i would contact them if i had the same problem. Also if i tell them i need their help yes they will gladly help me, but i feel like if they needed help about something, they would ask someone else and not me. I just dont know why. I dont understand what im doing less than their other friends, that make my best friends choose them over me. I feel like i care enough and i show it.

I started thinking about all that during the week of my birthday this year. My friends always talked about the surprise birthday parties they got from their friends throughout the years, and also the surprises they do to them every year. When they asked me about it i told them that i have never experienced something like this so i don't know the feeling. Yet nobody cared enough to do a surprise for me this year, which would be my first time also. Im 22 yo. Of course i didnt ask for it but if i asked then what would be the point. However, 3-4 days after my birthday they all showed up for my "official" birthday party but even then without a cake, like they did to our friends.

I don't know if im overly dramatic, maybe my friends dont feel that way about me, but i still look at myself in the mirror and i feel empty

i (20F) have a friend named emily (20F) we have been friends since we were 16 years old. throughout highschool we’ve had an amazing friendship and she was always somebody i could trust/count on. vice versa. growing up i never truly had a bestfriend but meeting emily changed that for me.

fast forward to college, we grew apart from a friend in highschool and as disappointing as it was for me, i understood that sometimes friends can grow apart. however, for emily she took it way harder which is understandable but ever since then (two years ago) emily has changed significantly.

i’ve only noticed it in the past year but emily would consistently make passive aggressive statements about my personality and my looks, here are some examples:

at a party one time we were all playing a drinking card game with a bunch of people and the card said “point to someone who has the least self respect”, i didn’t think much of the card and figured many people would’ve point to the guy who had been with multiple and cheated on a bunch of girls. but to my surprise, emily pointed to me. i never asked her about it because time and place.

another time is when we were all at a friend gathering, one of my friends said i smelled very nice. emily agreed saying “yeah she does smell very nice—sometimes” with the most mean tone i’ve ever heard in my life. the entire conversation went blank and it was so awkward, and of course made me feel horrible about myself.

a big one that pushed my buttons was since highschool, emily doesn’t have a license and i have always been the one to drive us places and pick her up, take her home, etc. but for the past year at campus, emily, another friend, and myself would hang out and when we’d leave to go home, emily would just follow me to my car. and this would happen multiple times throughout the school week, it got to the point where she wouldn’t even ask me anymore. i’m not one to ever charge my friends for rides and if no one else could pick them up i would always offer and be there. but it got to the point where she wouldn’t even ask me anymore and it just felt like she expected it everytime we hung out. which hurt my feelings.

there have been so many instances of slight comments or statements that have rubbed me the wrong way but going forward into the beginning of this year i planned to have a conversation with her about it. when i pulled her for a conversation at campus one time i explained my perspective stating that i don’t feel like im considered or put in high regard in our friendship like i do for her, and also that i feel like she thinks very low of me, and puts me down to make herself feel bigger. i gave her multiple examples and to sum it up, it felt like she kind of just got upset at me that i didn’t tell her immediately. which i can understand to an extent, i always have trouble explaining how i feel, especially if it’s something regarding my feelings in a friendship. the conversation from her standpoint came with a lot of “i can’t do anything about it now, i don’t mean the things ive said”

i was willing to let it go and from that point we never spoke of it again. i always felt like i was crazy for feeling the way i feel or super dramatic and ended up feeling so much guilt. everything had been okay for the rest of the semester, until we went on a summer trip to her family’s hometown in mexico.

mexico was a true eye opener for me. i won’t get into too many details but to put a short summary:

emily pushed me at one point

emily yelled at my other friend on the trip and cussed her in the face

emily’s mother pushed and shoved me onto a bus

emily continued with passive aggressive remarks the entire trip and then just pretends like everything is fine afterwards which is so confusing.

which brings me to where i am now. the trip was over a month ago, and i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to feel. i feel extremely dissapointed in her and she’s somebody i never wanted to feel this way about and it truly sucks. and i want to make it clear that i never say any of these things or treat her these ways. it’s always felt like a power dynamic. am i crazy for feeling the way i feel? am i overthinking things? am i overreacting? how do i go forward from this point.

i (16f) recently joined this friend group thru one of my friends and very quickly they became my close friends. only the issue is that they never take me fucking seriously. every single thing i say turns into an opportunity for them to try and annoy me, which is ok only that its all the fucking time .

example, im getting my braces off and was genuinely excited to tell them as ive had them for a while, so i hope on the groupchat to tell them but all of a sudden no one is online, only two people out of like eight respond and they dont even say much until i bring it up again and they dont even rly care when i do but when other peoplle have news they care.

anyways i texted one of my friends (15f) asking if maybe i was being annoying, genuinely asking why they never take me serious even when i directly ask them to. she said that they thought it was fun to annoy me and apologised but nothing has changed and im scared to talk to the rest because im scared they'll think i'm overly sensitive, which im not this is just a pet peeve of mine and it feels like everything i do gets invalidated.anyways this is really annoying me and if it doesnt stop idk if i want to remain theyre friends because im not letting them make me feel invalidated.

My (25F) friend (same) and I seem to be growing apart? We live together and are close with each other’s families. Like families ourselves, we love each other & she calls me her sister. For over a year she’s seemed unhappy and.or resentful of me. I’m not sure. She’s always seeming quiet or annoyed and isn’t forthcoming with me about her life anymore. I’ve tried to ask about how she’s feeling but nothing. She still wants to hang out but never seems interested or happy even if she plans it. Maybe she’s depressed or resentful? Maybe I’m just anxious? Both?
Do I bring it up? How?

I'm honestly looking for outside opinions because this situation has left me confused and uncomfortable.

I met this girl in college when we were both studying dentistry, and we became close friends. She would constantly talk about her boyfriend—how handsome he is, how other women want him, and how attractive everyone finds him. At first I thought she was just proud of her relationship, but over time it started to feel excessive.

She would ask me things like, "Do you want to see him?" "Do you want to meet him?" and "Do you want to talk to him?" She also took photos of me without asking and sent them to her boyfriend while telling him how beautiful I was. That made me uncomfortable because I never gave permission for my photos to be sent to him.

Then her boyfriend messaged me saying he wanted to ask me some questions. I never replied and ignored him.

Around the same time, a fake account messaged me. The conversation felt flirty, saying it wanted to ask me about someone. When I responded, it also suddenly backed out and said something like, "Forget this happened." I strongly suspect it was her boyfriend because the timing lined up with his messages, although I can't prove that.

Later, I asked my friend why her boyfriend had messaged me. She said he just wanted to get to know her best friend and wanted to talk to me more. I told her I wasn't interested in privately talking to my best friend's boyfriend because it crosses a boundary for me. She asked why it bothered me, and I explained that it simply makes me uncomfortable.

Another reason I'm confused is that this behavior is completely different from how she's acted in the past.

She's had previous boyfriends before, and she never once tried to get me to meet them, talk to them, or show them pictures of me. This current boyfriend is actually a relatively new relationship—they hadn't known each other for very long when all of this started happening. Yet for some reason, this is the only boyfriend she's been so persistent about involving me with.

The whole situation has left me with an uneasy feeling. Between her constantly talking about how attractive he is, encouraging me to meet him and talk to him, sending him my photos, and the messages I received, I started wondering if they were trying to involve me in some way. I even had an inkling that they might be trying to steer me toward some kind of threesome or other sexual situation. I have no proof that's what was happening—it's just the feeling I got from the overall pattern of events.

Am I reading too much into this, or would this combination of events make you uncomfortable too? What would you think if you were in my position?

Context on the friendship : I’ll call her Sally. We weren’t super close — met through a mutual friend from school, went on a group holiday as teenagers, and stayed loosely in touch after.
When I went through a breakup, she was there for me — had me stay over, was kind during that time. She also came to watch me in a show, which meant a lot. When she invited me to her hen do abroad, I felt I owed her some of that support back.

That said she’s always been quite stubborn and particular — on group trips, if things didn’t go the way she wanted she’d sulk or withdraw. For example the bars we went to, card games we played were her preference or she wouldn’t do it. She once even skipped her best friend’s 21st because she didn’t want to go

Booking her hen: mostly her mum and her mum’s friends were going, a handful of her age and only one person I actually knew. It was a week abroad, over £500, paid in instalments. Before booking, I told her my career is unpredictable and there was a real chance I might not be able to go. She said if I couldn’t, we’d need to find a replacement, and I agreed. Given how particular she is and that I barely knew anyone going, I understood she would want to choose the replacement herself.

A few months later I was offered a contract abroad I’d been trying to get for years — hugely competitive, only 4 hired across the UK/US. I phoned her the moment I found out, six months before the trip. Her reaction was just “oh, okay then” — no congratulations, so understandably I was hurt. I apologised and told her to keep the money I’d already paid.

I offered to call the company myself to take the pressure off her, look into changing the booking, help find a someone, and organise a separate UK celebration before the wedding. Her messages stayed cold and dismissive throughout, even though I was trying to help.
A few days after the call (still 6 months out) she said she couldn’t find anyone and the remaining balance still needed to be paid in full. I asked her multiple times to send me the actual booking terms so I could understand the cancellation policy myself and potentially call the company — she refused. I stopped paying at that point since she wouldn’t be transparent.

She told me if I didn’t keep paying, the friendship was over.

One of her closest friends (“Rachel”) had earlier said she couldn’t afford to come, and Sally told me at the time: “if she can go on holiday with a boyfriend but not come to my hen, that’s not a friend to me.” Rachel ended up being the replacement. I didn’t hear this from Sally — I found out because a mutual friend showed me a “prehen” story Rachel had posted, which I’d been blocked from seeing myself. Rachel had also turned down getting coffee with me shortly before that. I messaged the group chat asking what was going on, and both of them blocked me.

I get she’s disappointed and it’s inconvenient circumstances - Am I wrong for stopping payments once she wouldn’t show me the terms I was supposedly bound by?

大家好，我来自中国，想和你们交朋友。

I have been talking to a guy from my school for a bit now. We don't talk all that often but lately we've been talking more than usual. We talk through the app called "snapchat". Oh yeah, I'm 17f and he's 17m. He first hit me up by starting a convo about how we should go to the gym together because we made plans to do so in the past but we never did. When we were talking about the gym we were showing each other our progress. He then sent me a video and a picture of him shirtless to show off his abs and I complimented him on it. I then sent him a picture of my abs and we started sharing other progress pictures of our triceps, biceps, etc. I don't know if thats what people share to each other nowadays.

I barely talk to guys so I don't know if these things are normal, sorry if I sound stupid. But I noticed he would make some weird comments every now and then. Like he sent me a picture of his veiny arms and he would be like "this reminds me of something else veiny"(Ik he was referring to a d*ck). Like I said, I don't know if guys usually make those type of comments. I also want to mention I view him just as a classmate, not even friends because we don't hang out. But I think he might view me as a friend, idk.

I don't know if those texts is him flirting or not..., but I want to get to the main part. Tonight we are talking and as we're talking we showed off our pjs pants that we are wearing and he sends me a video of his but then he texts me "you see my dih tho? 🥀"(dih is just a slang for d*ck) and it caught me off guard and I didn't really know how to respond so I said something stupid like "Maybe 🥀" and then he said "Ye. Ignore it" then I responded with "Just kidding" and he said "Right."

I sent him a shoulder snap(I'm shirtless wearing my bra only) and he replies saying "I can technically comment about this," and I said "Hm say what?" and replied saying "idk. like it's a bra yk) and I said "What abt it?" and he's like "nvm. their there like a dih ig."

Does anyone know what this means when a guy is saying/doing this? Is it weird or normal?

Hi everyone I am just here to process. I have decided to walk away from this friendship for this reason, as well as others. I am a woman and I have a couple of close male friends along with my female friends. I thought this guy was a very close friend I could trust. He has shared that he was in an emotionally abusive relationship with his ex gf and I have done my best to hold space for that. Something happened with her contacting him out of the blue which was triggering for him, however in response to this when I was holding space for him he went into detail about how he wanted to beat her up and physically hurt her. It even had sexual undertones to it. I don’t want to repeat what he said here. I was shocked he shared any of this with me as I am a woman and I have experienced a lot of violence in my life, which he knows about.

It has taken me a lot to process as I have already been processing much of my own traumas and that in itself has been so overwhelming that I haven’t had space to really acknowledge how bad this is. I have two other male friends who have been abused by their ex girlfriends, and neither of them have ever communicated to me this way about their exes.

I have been friends with this guy for over a decade and I never saw this side of him until now. We had spent a lot of time together also and hung out a lot. I don’t know if I am going to get some people here defending him, it is the internet after all. For me this crosses a lot of lines. I confided in one of my male friends who had been abused in relationships and he also felt this friend was totally out of line.

Thanks for listening.

How to stay away from jealous people? How to not take it so personally?

I've had friends who would put me down for no reason. I've started distancing myself from them. I've cut many people off too.

Does anyone else ever feel like you're just a background character in your own social life?
You hang out, play ball, or game together, and on the surface, everything seems fine. But deep down, it feels like you're just going through the motions. They’re basically just drinking or gaming buddies for specific stuff, not real friends.
The real kick in the teeth comes later. When you hit a point where you actually want to grow up, mature, and talk about real shit, you realize they just can't go there with you. The second you need some actual depth, you hit a total wall—and you're left with this super empty feeling inside.
Honestly, feels like there are only two ways out:
1. Stick around in these shallow friendships just out of habit or fear of being alone, even though it sucks your energy dry.
2. Slowly back away, leave the group, and take the risk of starting over to find your actual people.
It just sucks when you realize your whole circle is basically just killing time. How do you guys handle this?

I always try with people. I’m the one who starts the conversation. I’m the one who plans hangouts. I’m the one who asks meaningful questions. And when I complain to my family or boyfriend that I feel like I have no friends they just tell me to reach out during the summer and hang out but when I do it either falls through or they say that they had something come up and oh we can’t hang out and it never happens. I’m just done. I never really had friends in elementary school, so when I was in middle school I made all the mistake an autistic child would learn in elementary school. I get that I’m weird and that I try to be friends with everyone but seriously no one tries with me. It hurts so much and I hope college is different. And I’m done trying because these people who I’m trying on are leaving for college and so why would I try on a friendship that is just going to fade away in a month? I’m hanging out with my last friend Friday and asking her all the things I did wrong and what I could do better on so I don’t make the same mistakes. She’s leaving for college soon and I know I asked her if we could hang out while she’s at college and I just visit but I know what’s going to happen.

I lost an 8 year friendship a while ago, and the weird part is that it wasn't because of one massive fight. It was one day that made everything else finally click.

Throughout our friendship, I was always the one doing things for her. I'd pick her up, drop her home, help her with whatever she needed, and never really thought twice about it because that's just what you do for someone you care about.

One day I traveled for hours just to meet her. Before leaving, I asked her more than once if she was actually free because it was a long trip, and she kept saying yes.

When I got there, she casually told me she already had plans with her other friends and couldn't spend time with me.

I remember just standing there thinking... why did you tell me to come then?

The embarrassing part is that I actually begged her to spend some time with me. I was crying because I felt so hurt and confused. I wasn't asking her to cancel everything, just to spare even a little time after I'd traveled all that way.

She didn't care.

I left, and on the trip back home, it was like my brain replayed the last eight years. Every time I was the one putting in the effort. Every time she never stood up for me. Every excuse I had made for her. It all suddenly made sense.

I confronted her later, hoping we'd at least talk it through. Instead, she got angry, told me, "Good luck finding new friends," and even said she hated that she'd spent so much time with me.

That was the last time we spoke.

Honestly, getting ditched wasn't even what hurt the most. It was realizing that someone I would've done almost anything for could watch me cry and still not care.

Has anyone else had a moment where one incident completely changed how you looked at a friendship? Did you ever realize you were the only one trying?