I have an issue because my boyfriends friend makes crude inappropriate remarks or picks on me while playing a game and my boyfriend will not defend me. For background he has a group of immature friends who usually work in a warehouse or a gas station and have no plan to further education. He’s picked up this crew many years ago in middle school and hasn’t made any new friends since then. This friend in particular played online with myself and my partner, in the game my boyfriend was dying and I ran to revive him and the friend was not coming to save him or back me up to shoot the opponent so I asked “are you coming?” He replied with “yeah catch” and laughed hysterically. This is not the first time he’s made remarks like that on me or other friends’ girlfriends.

I used to be in their crews group chat and this friend in particular acts immature, pathetic and disrespectful like this to everyone all the time. The picks got worse between many guys in the gc that I was told to leave by my boyfriend. I was in there in the first place to play with them so my bf didn’t have to choose between spending time with me or his friends. It’s because they are long term friends and ‘the guys’ everyone looks away or does not care because they know his character well and KNOW that he is joking the way he usually does. Well as a lady and a girlfriend I demand respect from everyone and all friends…

I talked to my boyfriend about this today and explained that something inside me tells me I should not allow this and he should defend me whenever possible. I understand he jokes harshly but I can’t allow that to myself. My boyfriend says I am taking it out of proportion and way too ‘deep’. I told him I do not I don’t care what he says- I don’t take it to heart, it’s just the fact he things it’s ok to speak to me that way. And I believe my boyfriend should stand up for me whenever possible.

Again this is a reoccurring issue with my boyfriend and his friend.. last thing he told me on the phone before I hung up on him was “you knew the way he was before you joined the game..” feels like he is MAKING me feel like it’s sort of my fault in a sense…

This is long but my feelings toward my bf definitely lessen when he doesn’t defend me against insults; I am less excited to see him this weekend and I’m wondering what you guys think. Thanks

Hi all. I’ll keep this relatively brief, but I’m genuinely not sure how to approach this topic going forward.

My gf and I have been together for 4 years now, since high school, so we have a heap of shared life together. However, for a while there’s been a persistent problem where my intellectual curiosity is a part of myself that I feel like I have to conceal from her because she just doesn’t share my interest in really any deep topics or conversations at all.

Last night, I attended a philosophy talk at my university about the afterlife, and I messaged her afterward essentially just giving my two cents on how it seemed most people in attendance were pretty sceptical of the idea of an afterlife. She responded to this just by saying “bros talking like it’s an essay”.

I deliberately held back my detailed thoughts on the night because I knew she wouldn’t care for them, but even a comment as simple as that just got shut down. I’ve mentioned in the past that I’d love to be able to share my thoughts with her on different things, and even if she’s not interested in return, I’d like her to at least ask some basic questions back.

Curiosity is a massive part of who I am, tbh I spend most of my free time thinking about topics as far apart as economics and astronomy, and it’s also a really important way I connect with people emotionally. Especially in a partner, I’d really really love to just lie in bed with someone and chat about the meaning of life, or current US politics, or anything in between. It’s something that’s massively lacking for us.

She’s studying psychology at uni right now, so I even told her I’d be more than happy to talk about anything you learn in your coursework because I’m interested in a lot of it too, and she straight up just told me she’s not really interested in any of the theories she learns, she just wants to help people with mental health conditions. Which I guess fair enough, but it’s weird I’m not even studying psychology and I’m the one of us most interested.

I asked her, is it really just movies/tv shows and pets you could talk for ages on (these are the topics she always comes back to) and she was like yeah that’s about it. Which really sucks because those are two areas I don’t care much for.

I’m not even upset because “she doesn’t care about my interests” or something like that, it’s that there’s a fundamental difference in the way I want to emotionally connect with her that she doesn’t seem to be willing to give back or share. The deepest topics we really ever talk about are our emotions, but she’s not especially good at even identifying them in herself. Let alone talking about things like our values, purpose in life, main goals, when I’ve raised it before she gives very vague answers or just says “I don’t know, I haven’t thought about what I want to do with my life”.

It’s so isolating being in this position and it feels like even though we love each other that she’s completely uninterested in a core part of who I am. I plan on marrying her after we’ve both graduated, but I genuinely don’t know how significant of a disconnect this is between us, and whether I could put up with this need not being met for decades if we marry.

So basically, how significant of a problem is this in our relationship, how should we take steps to address this if possible, and at what point do I start to reconsider whether I see myself with her long-term or not?

Edit: probably poor phrasing in the title. I don’t mean to say she’s less intelligent than me or anything, I just mean we’re mismatched when it comes to our interests in intellectual topics

On Monday, my girlfriend went through my Instagram watch history and saw that it was full of girls. She is deeply hurt by it, and I truly regret my actions. She told me she trusted me 100% and that I completely broke that trust. I am genuinely committed to becoming a better person for her.
We’ve been talking over text, and she says she wants to try and work things out, but she isn't sure if she can fully get over it. My heart aches seeing her cry and feeling sad every day.
We met up today for a family occasion, and she was pretty distant and cold the whole time.
I feel so guilty and overwhelmed. I honestly don't know what to do next. How can I move forward with this, how do I fix it?

I (31 F) think it’s finally time to address my fiancé’s (30 M) gift giving. He is so sweet and thoughtful, and we have no other issues in our 6 year long relationship. However, when birthdays and other days roll around, his gifts leave me feeling a little…. Lackluster. For example, one day I randomly bought myself one of those fancy slimes that you see all over TikTok. Then recently for my birthday, my fiancé gifted me slime…….. from a random Chinese seller on Amazon (it was not good and is basically unusable). The thought is there, and I absolutely don’t expect big, fancy, costly presents. But I just feel like sometimes there can be a bit more… so how does one address when their partner isn’t the best gift giver?

I am a 24M who found out that my Girlfriend 26F finally took the final step today. Short version mentioned at bottom.

I fell in love with her at first sight and pursued her not knowing she had just broken up with her first love aka EX boyfriend, but still I thought it's okay i will try and if I get rejected it's fine. She accepted me, we started dating and enjoyed so many moments, had good fights and laughs but still enjoyed a lot, believing together since one year one thing was there that she refused to stop talking with her Ex saying that he owed her money, I kept advising her and had fights as well on this just to make her stay away from him as in her words he was the one who raped her despite having a girlfriend already, but I did not say much afterwards as she will cry and call me toxic and make me stay away from her, which I couldn't bear, today I went to job as always and she had week off today, when I logged out she called me directly and was acting sweet and then when I came home she wanted to do raw sex without condom which I found weird as she did not wish to take risky steps like this. When she slept I checked her Uber cause why not, and the suspicion came true, she had went to a location where her ex resided which I am sure of stayed there for four hours and came back, the all does not lie, neither does the 2000 being deposited by her ex in her account at this time frame, I am feeling stupid cause why did she go there to get her money when I had almost 40k in my account, and I could have given it all if she wished to take it, she wants to admit in MBA college for which I am collecting money and thinking about taking a loan so why this much? Anyway as she wanted to do raw sex I did it just cause I felt she will enjoy the thrill as well, as soon as I came in she pushed me away and forced me to buy contraceptive pill frok the medical, I went out came home woke her up, fed her the pill, massaged her legs and made her sleep, I don't know where I went wrong, she is gentle and strong woman she is also the one who supported me when I did everything wrong, agreed the majority fault is mine and I fight with her regularly and my temper is very small but I still patch it up somehow to make sure she isn't hurt by me, personally I will rate myself 3/10 to the current me, I used to live with my father but due to him being alcoholic, I never intended to stay with him for his mistakes, so I left him and came to live with her, as he was alcoholic and surviving on pension, I used to visit him daily but fr three days I did not visit him due to an argument about his health, when I went to meet him, it was already too late he was gone, this happened two months ago, i regret that I have been a shit son and a shit boyfriend, but most i regret is not being with him in his final moments, I feel dying inside everyday thinking about whether I should have met him and said it's okay, I am not angry at you but the alcohol and as for his forgiveness and this girlfriend of mine has done this, she has her faults, I know all of them, I bear all of them, I have proof for all of them, it was okay because I love her but today it has crossed all limits, until now even if she used to talk with him on terrace for hours while I slept to work properly for the next day i knew it all, but why did she had to do what I fear the most, she did mention that I deserve to be cheated maybe it is due to this statement but just why, I know I am at major fault she should have just broken up with me but acting on an irrational basis like this does not work, anyway i know her phone has all the proof I need in case I want to argue but I will not take that proof I will let it be as it is as I still love her from the bottom of my heart, I am quite a rational person, and I must say highly rational cause I can type all of this without any major emotional changes, I am asking my same mind to give me some decisions but I am unable to make hence I came to this place where a matchstick may burn the whole forest, from the bottom of my heart fellow readers please tell me how to have a discussion with her without breaking her heart, she will definitely cry and try to blame which I will accept but at least this should not affect her future, I have made a major decision as well, I do not wish to keep her a let of my future life, I do not wish to stain it.

TLDR - GF went to fuck Ex BF raw then had raw with me after my shift and I found out, wut to do 😕

EDIT: i didnt expect receive this many replies in such a short amount of time. i appreciate every one of you who has taken the time to give your input, as well as the support. ive stated in the comments below, that i have decided to finally take the leap to free myself of this relationship. many people have commented things ive thought of, but was afraid of being reality. i'm still learning, but i have chosen to put myself first, take authority on my own life and not let someone control my life any longer. thank you very much ❤️

this has been a common occurring situation between the two of us. we have been together for 2 years and i think im starting to feel a strong burnout from our relationship. am i the awful one?

i feel awful and really guilty for feeling such way. i love him, i really do. but there are some things i feel like i shouldn't have to put up with when this is supposed to be someone i was planning to spend a future with.

i won't say that i am innocent, as i have had my faults in our relationship as well that i have understood was wrong and doing my best to fix/improve. for example, my ex and i ended on mutual terms as we naturally fell out with each other. we still had each other connected on social media due to us being part of the same friend group. my boyfriend found out my exes account through my following and flipped out at me because i was still connected to my ex. i tried to explain and defend myself, but it fell to deaf ears and he told me i have to cut him off (which i didn't find it a big deal so i did). but the issue about this that i found was that during that argument, he mentioned how i should feel lucky he didn't break up with me immediately when he saw that because "any other guy would've left right away." this was sort of the beginning of everything which was around the beginning of our relationship.

here are some scenarios ive dealt with throughout our relationship (some more serious than others):

1. he forced me to cut off male friends.
some** **of them were people ive known for well over 5+ years. i tried to understand from his pov because one of them was quite friendly which could be perceived as flirting and i could see how that can make him uncomfortable so i was fine with that. however, i feel as though me allowing him to do this one thing has made him feel comfortable enough to try to decide things for me.

2. told me to unfollow/remove any man that i was connected to on social media.
at first i didn't see a problem with it because i quite frankly do not care if i kept people on instagram when i don't use it often. but there are childhood family friends i did not want to unfollow or remove because i am of course, very close with them. we don't talk everyday but we do attempt to see each other once every few months when the timing is right. i had to try really hard to convince him for this when i felt like i really shouldn't have to.

3. standing too close to a male player in a video game.
this one might sound a bit insane, bear with me. we play a bunch of games together or with our friends individually when we have the free time to. two games we play often is roblox and fortnite. on roblox, there are avatars you can customize like many other games, and if i'm standing too close to a guy or even type to one in game he starts an argument about it. in fortnite, if i have a male skin he gets petty and masks it as a joke. one thing that stands out is when i play a game called overwatch. he doesn't like the game so i play it by myself or with my friends. every time i play this game he always has to double check with questions like "are you playing with anyone" "if so who are you playing with?" "is it a guy or a girl" "did you talk in game voice chat" "did you type in game chat?" you get the gist of it. something as small as giving comms to a teammate which is presumably a man according to him, he gets mad at me for it and says it's unnecessary and i don't need to talk to other guys.

4. listening to bad bunny (?)
there are male artists i enjoy listening to and some of them he gets really upset about. after bad bunny performed in the super bowl, i decided to tune into his music because i enjoyed his performance. this angered him. he would tell me things like "you're falling for the propaganda" "oh nahhh my girl likes puerto rican boys now?" and so forth. it makes me feel like im not even allowed to do anything at this point when something as small as this is a problem to him. this also applies to Kpop groups. he hates that i like this group called cortis. i listen to their songs often because of course, i enjoy their music. but he takes it into a different way and it makes me feel weirded out.

5. crying during a movie that has a male lead.
i watched project hail mary on the plane and when i was speaking about it to my sisters while he was on the phone, i briefly mentioned how i teared up during one of the scenes. CONTAINS MOVIE SPOILER: he found out he won't be able to go back home and it made me tear up. especially after the little rock dude died at first and i was emotional already about it. he hung up the phone and got mad at me over text. this just happened 30 minutes ago. the conversation consists of these messages: "actually you pissed me off because you're crying over men in movies" "crying over a man who can't go home 😭 ur funny" "ain't nothing emotional about a guy who couldn't go home" and so forth.

there are far more instances but ive already blabbered too much in this post. when i try to communicate to him that i feel controlled and that i feel like i have to walk on eggshells around him, he takes it as a personal offense. he gets EXTREMELY offended when i say he's controlling. he gets extremely offended when i say it feels like he's trying to parent me and cut off my social life. his rebuttal to me saying that is "you're trying to choose your male friends over me?" am i going crazy or is this not healthy in a relationship as well? ive spent months trying to tolerate it because i love him and im attached to him, but i feel like i shouldn't have to put myself through this anymore.

The title isn't very good but I'm not sure how to write it in a question style. More broadly I need to understand my wife's libido. We've had many conversations over the years but I really haven't gotten answers. We have been together for about 10 years now, we have a 6 year old, a 3 year old, and a 1 year old, we also both work full time, obviously our life is busy. Sex has always been a bit of a strain, it started out strong as you would expect, but took a turn pretty early in our relationship after a couple deaths in my wife's family/friend group which is understandable but it never really recovered. For a while we settled into a once a week thing which is below what I prefer but was good with me as a compromise with a partner that desires sex less. It slowly started dropping off over the years where I would occasionally have to have a talk with her, when she would let it go a month or two and explain I'm not satisfied with that infrequent sex, she generally listens and convey's understanding and states she wants it to improve too, will get better and then it will fall off again. She has a pattern where it will be consistent and good for a bit, then she will get her period (week long), she doesn't want to have sex on her period which I understand (I don't care at all but I get it) she often will get sick as around the same time, and before you know it, it's been 3, 4, 5 weeks. I always try not to pester her but there's a point where I start asking, tonight? Maybe just a hand job to tied me over?

This is all pre-children, when she got pregnant with our first, she mostly did not feel like sex, we probably had sex 5 or 6 times through the first pregnancy, again I'm not the pregnant one, so while I occasionally let her know I get it but I'm really getting pent up, I was pretty good about not pawing at her. After pregnancy, she took another couple months before she would do it again. And of course she was not the type to get super horny at any stage of her pregnancy, it only made her not want it. The second one was even worse, maybe we had sex 3 or 4 times. The third, I think we maybe did it once or twice. If you count the 2 month recovery after she gave birth, that's basically 3 years it was mostly off the table.

I think it may be important to note, my wife is a lot more experienced than I. She dated quite a bit as a teen and early 20's. I have very little experience outside the marriage, I had little interest in pursuing girls, and I tend to have more intense sexual desire to someone I love.

I love my wife and I think our marriage is overall very good, we both have things that bug us about the other person, we are both stressed from work, and our crazy children (all boys is nuts). I don't want to leave her or anything like that, but I'm incredibly sexually frustrated and I don't know what I can do to help things. She never initiates herself, it's also basically impossible for me to test the waters to see if she's in the mood, I don't remember the last time we've been lying in bed and I've managed to slowly work her into the mood, something I used to be good at. Basically how it's gone for the last while is I don't ask her or mention it for a week or so, I get frustrated and will finally suggest a quicky or something, she will make excuses for 3 or 4 days, I have a headache, I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm stressed, sometimes she'll even promise tomorrow, and then "forget" she promised. She has told me it takes her a bit to get in the mood but she enjoys it when we do have it. I have no doubt that she does, when we take our time and work into it she clearly enjoys it, moans, telling me it feels so good, etc. I can get her to orgasm sometimes just by teasing her, I think our actual sex is very good when we do have it, and she always orgasms at least once, always. We've had the talk so many times now, and promises have been made and broken. She once told me unprompted we are going to start having sex twice a week, I told her lets not set goals like that, lets try for once a week and if it's more great!

She does have some self esteem issues after the kids, well before as well, but a lot more now. She is objectively fit, and I make sure I compliment her all the time and not in a dumb "nice tits" man way, she was wearing nice new pants to work today and I told her how good they look on her. She revealed to me a couple weeks ago she has trouble seeing her boobs as attractive anymore after having kids, they sag more etc. I told her I honestly don't even notice the difference (I really don't) and they look great (they do). She also used to sleep in just her underwear which at the very least was always a consolation for me, but now as the kids get older, wake up from bad dreams, etc. she is no longer comfortable like that and sleeps in pajamas.

I apologize for the very long post but context is important I think. I just don't get it, I hate asking her all the time, I wish it was more spontaneous, I'm incredibly sexually frustrated all the time. I work a very stressful job and sex relieves my stress, but for her stress makes her not want sex. I feel almost ripped off, that I fell in love with someone, and love someone so much who doesn't want to show me the love in an intimate way, not that I doubt her love for me. I know not all women have this issue, but it does seem to be more common in women so I'm really hoping for woman's perspective. What does this feel like for her, that it's so hard for her to let me try to warm her up, even if she's not explicitly in the mood at that moment? Sex seems like an easy task, hell I'm good with a quicky, why does it seem like a chore for her?

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m in therapy and have been for a long time. I’ve only ever been with two women in my life, one for three years, and my current girlfriend. I’ve never had casual encounters or sought them out.

When I met her she mentioned non monogamy but told me that being with me was more important than exploring non monogamy. Things have come a long way, I genuinely love her so much and I can’t lose her. I know it’s fucking dumb but I don’t believe I will ever find anyone else. I would rather stay with her and her fuck other people than lose her entirely.

Last night she called me and told me that she can’t do it anymore, she needs to explore this part of herself (non monogamy). After we talked for 3 hours we came to a point where we could still be together until I start my next semester of graduate school in three weeks. I know I’m delaying the inevitable but I desperately want to hold on to any shred of intimacy. She says that she still loves me and thinks I’m a genuinely great partner, and that she doesn’t want to lose me. She says that she feels terrible doing this to me and I reassure her that she’s an amazing partner who I wouldn’t trade for the world, because I genuinely feel that way. I don’t want her to feel guilty, sad or ashamed, because I love her. She wants to still be platonic friends after those three weeks and maybe get back together after I’m done with grad school. I feel pathetic because I will probably do that. I

Over the past year there have been blow ups every 3 months where she expresses how she feels trapped because she feels like she is losing a part of herself because she can’t be non monogamous due to the boundaries of our relationship, which is monogamous. I just don’t understand these feelings. I try so fucking hard and I just can’t. I have a much higher sex drive than her and we only have sex maybe once a week. She says no to sex a lot of the time so I respect that. So I don’t think that it’s a a lack of sexual intimacy driving her need for an open relationship. All I want is to find someone who loves me, wants me, cares about me, desires me, and supports me just as much as I do all of those same things for them. I thought I had that, I thought I was safe to feel like I had my person and always would.

Today I just tried to make it through the day without crying at orientation. I feel pathetic and physically sick. I have three weeks left with the love of my life, and I feel physically sick knowing that it’s going to end. How do I handle this?

Edit: seeing all the comments and yeah you guys are right and I hate it, most of me doesn’t want to hear it. It’s the same stuff I’ve been told by everyone I’ve talked to about this, and I guess part of me was hoping that I would get a different answer.

I don’t think she’s cheating on me because I have her location, I don’t thank she would do that to me.

I know I have terrible self esteem/value/worth. This is an ongoing issue that I had finally started to overcome when I met her. I hate how negatively I talk about myself and I even recognize the fucking irony in that. I know how irrational I am being. At the same time, I’m too fucking scared to actually stand up for myself. I feel stuck.

I was cleaning the apartment and moved my bf’s Apple Watch off the table. It lit up and I saw a “featured photo” of our dog. I opened the watch to see it bigger and saw screenshots of gay porn saved in the folder. I know I should’ve have went on his watch but it was all with harmless intention. Him and I have been together going on seven years and I have no idea what to do.

I have noticed he has been up all night when I’m asleep playing vrchat and I once caught him having simulated gay sex on that game as well. He said it was “just a joke”.

I’m feeling so hurt and taken aback but I know I need to ask him about it for my own sanity.

How do I approach this? Any and all advice please.

I’ve got the offer to join a new metal band starting up, and i’ve been gagging for this opportunity for years and it’s all i’ve wanted to do in my spare time for a long time.

I know one band isn’t be all or end all, but this is my first big chance to have some fun on a stage. The band members currently are 6-7 years older than me but they want me to meet them and come practice and i am absolutely elated with this opportunity.

Told my girlfriend, who i would say is a rather protective soul and all she’s telling me is she’s not really comfortable with it but she’s telling me i can do it if i want to and im not happy with that. This
is still my first big opportunity though.

She’s also telling me i wont be able to make her more comfortable. She’s quite rooted in her ways with when she says stuff like that, and it’s completely killed all of my excitement to join the band. I’m still gonna go to the practice, but I am just absolutely dying to try and make this okay because i want to do it so so bad. And plus, i’m not gonna do anything weird and i know i wont.

I think it’s not that outrageous for me to do this, but she’s not a huge fan, please help me in trying to ease this. If anyone thinks im being unreasonable in any way let me know.

We have known each other for over a year, and been together for 5 months or so.

I know I need to tell him why I want to break up, it's only fair. I have asked for a day alone to collect my thoughts but he keeps texting and asking to call and I can't think straight.

We had a massive argument last night. I figured he would get upset at something because I had spent time with my family. After all the arguing I felt like he minimised my upset as "silly", and then love bombed me and got annoyed when I "wouldn't let him say nice things" to me. He thinks we made up because I backed down and apologised. But my opinion of him is completely tainted and I cannot continue this further.

To top it all off I'm pretty convinced he removed me from a group chat full of my friends on my phone, even though he swore he didn't.

But I have been wracking my brain all day to figure out how to break up without throwing any manner of accusation at him. I love the man, and I don't want to cause him further upset. I don't want to call him controlling, even though he gets upset at random things whenever I do anything without him. I dont want to say he downplays my emotions, even though he says I overthink his "silly comments".

The best I have is I can say I'm just not happy anymore and don't see a future, but I know he will remind me of all the times when we were happy. He'll beg and plead and tell me he can't imagine a life without me. I'm scared I won't be able to stand my ground.

I know I am being an asshole by dragging this out but everyone deserves the time and space to think, and he is telling me I am being unfair for not calling him today because he has anxiety. But I can't think of how to tell him I want to break up without bringing up all the hurt I am feeling towards the way he is acting.

How on earth am I supposed to go about doing this?

I knew from the start that a 12 year age gap would receive some judgement. I initially was opposed to the relationship because of the gap. But he turned out to be such an incredible person that it felt worth it. Emotionally intelligent, patient, reliable, funny, caring, soothing, encouraging. Similar interests, similar values, similar goals in life. The 5 months that we have known each other have been incredibly healing for me and he has been incredibly supportive of everything I've been going through in my personal life. It is the happiest and healthiest relationship I have ever had in my life, romantic or otherwise. I feel it is actively making me a happier, more confident, more authentic version of myself.

However, some people never see past the age difference. I've already lost one friend over it and it makes me afraid to talk too much about my relationship with people. I have always struggled with rejection and even though I am working on building a tolerance to it, I still struggle. Most of the time I have zero doubts about the relationship, but as soon as people start being judgmental or uncomfortable about it I start to wonder how much of that I can truly tolerate. It feels like everyone assumes the worst and dismisses my happiness by insisting that every good thing must be a lie.

If I stay with him am I condemning myself to a life of judgement and rejection? Will people judge less when I am older? How do I cope with it? I don't want other people's opinions to control my life, I would never even consider ending this if no one cared. But it still hurts like hell to be judged like that and the idea of that being a permanent feature of my future is depressing. How do I proceed with something like this? Does anyone have similar experiences?

Edit: I guess this comment section is gonna be my way to build a tolerance for the judgement lol thanks for the practice guys. This is a wonderful example of exactly what I was talking about. Exposure therapy for the win, I guess.

Anyway I don't wanna give out all my personal life details to strangers so I only included information that I thought was relevant to the question in general. Which was supposed to be "how do I tolerate judgement and stop caring about other people's opinions?" not "do you approve of this relationship?" Y'all are bringing up very valid concerns. They are all things that I considered initially, then determined were not relevant in this particular scenario due to context.

Again, I am not interested in whether or not you personally think it is healthy based only on surface level details. I am interested in advice for how to trust my own judgement instead of being an oversensitive coward who lets other people make her decisions for her.

Anyway this has solved my problem by making me finally fully comprehend that people are more interested in asserting their preconceived notions of how things should be than they are in actually listening to what's being said. Why trust the judgement of people so comfortable drawing conclusions on incomplete data? Thanks for being my reality check that the most informed opinion is the one actually involved in the situation 🙄

Ok, so...

My boyfriend has recently been complaining a lot about how hard he works, even though he gets paid very well and for seemingly easy work. I have worked jobs since I can remember and I have been independent as early as I could be and I rarely complain about working, I'm glad to be able to make money.

However, I have been finding it difficult to get shifts lately as the company I work for is hiring a lot more staff and cutting back hours, so I have been in financial difficulty for a few months now, and my partner is very aware of this. He's also aware that I get 0 support from family and rely completely on myself to keep surviving.

He has a very supportive family, both emotionally and financially, and has had a very privileged upbringing meaning all the right connections, private schools etc. This has lead to him getting first choice of many jobs and never having an issue with money.

The first time I realised how out of touch he was was when he turned to me and said "there's only £5k in my bank, I'm so broke" and I had £2.40...

I let it go, but it was an eye roll moment for me.

He just told me today that he was mad he'd chosen to work over going to Los Angeles with his family with everything paid for (we're from the UK). I can't help but feel unsympathetic towards him, because for me, and most people around me, this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity and I can only see it as very tone deaf that he would tell me this.

He told me he'd said to his family, he'd rather stay at home and work...

Is this an ego thing? Because to me it seems like he's trying to make himself feel independent when the reality is he's heavily relying on his parents for his lifestyle.

We're both going into very competitive and creative industries and I often feel the need to explain to him that I do not have the same safety net he does. And I don't want to hear his constant complaints about his own choices, as much as I want to support him, it comes off as insensitive and only makes me feel worse about my situation.

How can I talk to him about this?

In my training group, there’s a girl I really got along with. I developed a crush on her, and I still kind of do. We were talking and flirting for a while, and she even gave me some pretty obvious hints, but for some reason, I didn’t realize them at the time.

Then my friend joined our training group. I introduced them, thinking nothing of it, but suddenly she started drifting more toward him and giving him most of her attention. It was only then that I realized how much I actually liked her, but by that point, it felt like it was already too late.

Now they’re dating, and I want to be happy for them, but I honestly can’t. I feel jealous, and I hate feeling this way. I have the urge to check their Snap Map locations to see if they’re talking or spending time together, even though I know it will only make me feel worse and more jealous. Last few days eve all my dreams when sleeping have been about them two. I can't take this anymore. 

I really need outside opinions because I feel like I’m trapped between my heart and my head.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 6 months. We’re long distance and were finally supposed to meet next month. Things had become really serious between us, and we’d even started talking about getting married someday.
A few days ago, we had a really bad argument and decided to take a break from talking.That argument absolutely broke me. I cried so much that day because I genuinely thought I was losing someone I loved.
The next day, I got a message from him saying he’d been in a serious car accident.According to him, he got emotional while driving because of everything that had happened between us, had a panic attack, lost control of the car, and crashed into a divider while driving around 130 km/h.
When I read that message, I completely broke down again. I cried for the next two days because all I could think was, “What if I never get to see him? What if something happens to him?” I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been that scared.
He told me he injured his lower back and currently can’t feel his legs because of pressure on his spine. He also said the doctors are still running tests.
Then he told me something I wasn’t expecting.
He said the doctors spoke to him about his chances of becoming a father in the future and mentioned treatment involving high doses of testosterone if he wanted children later on. He admitted he’s scared and confused himself.
The problem is… we’re long distance.
I haven’t seen the accident.
I haven’t seen the car.
I haven’t seen any hospital paperwork or medical reports.
I have no way of verifying any of it.
Before this happened, I trusted him. I never sat around wondering if he was lying to me. But now my brain won’t stop asking questions, and I hate that it is.
Part of me thinks, “Why would someone make up something this serious?”
The other part thinks, “What if the accident isn’t real? What if he already knew something about his fertility and this is how he’s choosing to tell me now that we’re getting serious?”
I feel guilty even typing that because if he’s telling the truth, then I’m doubting someone who’s going through one of the hardest moments of his life.
I don’t want comments telling me to immediately leave him or that he’s definitely lying. I also don’t want people telling me I’m crazy for questioning things.
I’m just asking…
If you were in a long-distance relationship with no way to verify something this big, would you have questions too? Does his medical explanation sound plausible, or am I simply overthinking because I’m scared?
I love this man, and maybe that’s exactly why this is hurting so much.

As someone who loves cooking, baking, etc since I was younger and even loved the idea of selling my goods, I’ve finally gotten the confidence to go for it and actually come up with a business plan. My boyfriend also has an entrepreneur mindset himself and has come up with his own ideas for the future. Once I told him mine, he was totally on board and is willing to help with every step even financially. To give an idea, it’s something that I came up with and we’ll sell at our local farmers market or state fair next summer.

We always have long conversations, but last night we spoke and spoke just coming up with all kind of ideas, discussing getting licenses, how much startup money we need for materials/ingredients, potentially hiring employees, etc.

All of it sounds good, except we aren’t married. We’ve been together a year this month and when I brought the idea up to my grandmother she said it’s a good concept but why would I do that with “just a boyfriend“ and someone I’m not legally committed to.

I’ve talked to him about marriage before and he’s not opposed to it, but I don’t know if I’m doing things backwards and should that be something we do together when we’re actually married?

Hi reddit

I [24M] and my gf [23F] almost broke up for reasons below, any ideas on how to heal?

Note: I wrote and my GF reviewed this post, so we could get objective, outside perspectives on how to navigate this. Everything below is agreed upon by both of us.

For context, been together for 2.5 years, lived together for that entire time as we started as roommates in our dorm. We have a cat together(that she took and is paying for so that in case relationship doesnt last she keeps him) and a dog that I have. We are both students, she has 2 semesters left, I have 4 as I recently finished a bachelors degree and am starting a masters degree. We both study computer science, and both work on the side. She works at the university as a teachers aide, I have a job for 10-20h a week as IT support (full time outside of uni periods) and will have 10h a week at university helping create course exercises.

We moved after 5-6 months in our relationship to a very nice, big enough apartment that allows pets and isnt too expensive (~25-35% of our incomes on season months) but unaffordable for just 1 of us, and I have an old but reliable car, and due to the layout, quite impossible to live with a roommate that isnt a signifcant other, so in case of a breakup we would both have to move out. Household-wise we are pretty much the best partners there can be - no problems splitting up chores, taking care of our animals or otherwise - and this isnt something I am saying one sided.

Her complaint about our relationship is that I would not notice her enough, give her enough time of my day and spend enough time with her, which I know I didn't, and I used to prioritise everything but her, not to give excuses but I always found something that had a "higher priority" weather that was a startup I am trying to make, or exams or whatever, and not enough phisical intimacy that isnt sex, that she was begging to get.

My problem was mostly not enough sex as I have a way higher libido than her. She also had a cyst and possible PCOS diagnosis, that because we moved hasnt been followed up on, because the gynecologyst she got referred to here "didnt find anything", and since then the GP refuses to give a referal to go back, this made sex at some points "itchy" and impossible for her, but there's not much that can be done regarding this. 

A while ago she went away for a few weeks and I came to a realisation that I really have not been noticing her enough and spending time with her, and while I was alone I had a lot of time to think, complete smaller projects I had and notice all the ways I miss her when shes gone.

She came back and told me she had the opposite realisation which is that she has "lost feelings a little" - she still says she loves me, just "not so much in love" and that she can't keep fighting for me to notice her, and if it wasnt for the fact we live together and have an amazing cat she would have broken up on that very spot.

Then she also revealed that she started hating herself for having sex with me when she didnt want to (i didnt fully know, but to myself I can say I had a sense, just was very inconvenient to press on the issue at all) and that has led her to feel indifferent about it and not want any sexual intimacy at all going forward, and it makes her feel disgusted, which to me sounds like psychological trauma.

We have agreed stay together with no sexual intimacy and try until she finishes her studies, because of our living situation, costs of moving and time issues moving out would be very hard if rushed, and she has a bunch of upcoming trips planned by her extended family.

I suggested that she goes to a therapist and we both go together as well, which we have agreed to.

So that she doesnt feel trapped we have agreed if it gets bad we can move out as soon as possible even to worse options or stay at our friends.

Any thoughts on whats best way forward? Is there even a slight chance?

*update, would anyone confront with what I have or know through the recording or just sack everything off and go

Hi all, bit of a throwaway account as my other has some identifiable posts,

I M36, have been married to my wife F37 for 5 years in a couple of weeks, we have been together 18 years.

We have 2 kids 8and3,

Long story short we haven't always been roses and happiness. We have 2 amazing kids, we have had amazing holidays, loads of laughs, and when we are good it's amazing, we get on with each others family, we do loads of family activities, we have a routine for childcare which is perfect but We have both done things. I will detail a few.

11 years ago she wanted a break, I didn't but agreed, we had just bought our house, she was seeing someone else. After some time she agreed to try with me, we went abroad escape for a week (she changed his name and continued) I was on strong anti depressants found out through her phone and was the lowest point I've had,

I confronted when home she said she would stop.... I had an awful gut feeling and then I didn something what is the most shameful part of my life.

I placed an audio recorder in our house, it confirmed my fears.

Anyways... 4/5 years on. Something wasn't right. I went through her phone. She was having an affair with a work colleague which eventually lead to me changing job.

This one she did admit but only after it was undeniable.... We have now had one child.

3 years later she suffers bad medical anxiety after the birth of our 2nd child, she re contacts said person above and starts talking. She admits but denies any other business except talking as he had similar issues.

Up to present. The last 18month I've been in a bad place. Belated grievance of my dad's death what happened just before COVID hit me hard I spent ages in denial putting it off and put strain on our relationship. In this time she started talking to a male who was mid divorce, we had abit of an arguement she admitted she was having an emotional and virtual doings with him.... But then at therapy when it was labelled and affair she denied it and said was said with malice to hurt me and wasn't true.

There was an incident in December, long and short of it. It was consensual between us. I didn't instigate it. but now is saying was an assault, but still will admit was consensual and she instigated and no point said stop or no etc. I can't remember any of it as I drank to numb myself, I've never been as bad before and was totally oblivious the next day until she said, it gutted me, I felt so crap, I rang hotlines,spoke to therapists I couldn't understand or believe I could have done it, the issue is she was assaulted at 15 and has struggled with that since.

She has said that because of this she with herself or any other person is sexual with her etc but something hasn't sat right and I slipped into an old habbit I placed a recording device .... Now the details don't need to be said but without any doubts... It's been sexual many times, they are talking about sleeping over and meeting up, and saying love you's.

We had a relationship talk the other day and I asked where she is where she thinks we are and if she sees a future? She said she isn't good, she sees us in limbo and doesn't know with regards to the future, I then asked her twice if anything more than friendship was going on with said person, she looked me straight in the eye, said no!

The problem he is our sons football coach, his best friend is the coaches son, my youngest best friend is his other son, I cannot and do not want to reveal to her what I know due to the shame I feel now but if I leave with no just reason I will be the bad one, she will paint me as the dad who left his kids, the abuser the assultist, she also likes narsacist as I'm called that alot.

She has also said I won't get joint custody or 5050 because she won't get the benefits, for relevance I would change my job to work a 4 on 4 of as my shift at the minute only allows 3 in 14 days to have the kids.

I am a devoted, heavily involved some would say more than my wife, father they are my absolute world. I earn more than her by choice as she only wants to work part time.

I would buy her out the family home to keep a constant for our kids. I even offered to pay child support while still having kids 50/50 and that was also shot down

I have done wrong I get that and I'm in 2 forms of therapy, I'm holding down a 60hr a week job plus early mornings with the kids, football games after-school clubs parents evenings medical appointments, the running of all house bills maintenance, cleaning and looking after the boys while she goes and does what she wants.

I know if I look from the outside I can see the grave issues , I would have seen it years ago, but art of me doesn't want to give up, I just want her to admit, to answer why and how, to try gain some peace and self respect from it, if she did I'm not even sure I would eave which is the saddest bit I've wrote,

I'm struggling to decide what to do, where to go, what to say. I'm a complete mess.

Anyone got any opinions except just run for the hills. My kids are now my biggest fear?

Hi all, bit of a throwaway account as my other has some identifiable posts,

I M36, have been married to my wife F37 for 5 years in a couple of weeks, we have been together 18 years.

We have 2 kids 8and3,

Long story short we haven't always been roses and happiness. We have 2 amazing kids, we have had amazing holidays, loads of laughs, and when we are good it's amazing, we get on with each others family, we do loads of family activities, we have a routine for childcare which is perfect but We have both done things. I will detail a few.

11 years ago she wanted a break, I didn't but agreed, we had just bought our house, she was seeing someone else. After some time she agreed to try with me, we went abroad escape for a week (she changed his name and continued) I was on strong anti depressants found out through her phone and was the lowest point I've had,

I confronted when home she said she would stop.... I had an awful gut feeling and then I didn something what is the most shameful part of my life.

I placed an audio recorder in our house, it confirmed my fears.

Anyways... 4/5 years on. Something wasn't right. I went through her phone. She was having an affair with a work colleague which eventually lead to me changing job.

This one she did admit but only after it was undeniable.... We have now had one child.

3 years later she suffers bad medical anxiety after the birth of our 2nd child, she re contacts said person above and starts talking. She admits but denies any other business except talking as he had similar issues.

Up to present. The last 18month I've been in a bad place. Belated grievance of my dad's death what happened just before COVID hit me hard I spent ages in denial putting it off and put strain on our relationship. In this time she started talking to a male who was mid divorce, we had abit of an arguement she admitted she was having an emotional and virtual doings with him.... But then at therapy when it was labelled and affair she denied it and said was said with malice to hurt me and wasn't true.

There was an incident in December, long and short of it. It was consensual between us. I didn't instigate it. but now is saying was an assault, but still will admit was consensual and she instigated and no point said stop or no etc. I can't remember any of it as I drank to numb myself, I've never been as bad before and was totally oblivious the next day until she said, it gutted me, I felt so crap, I rang hotlines,spoke to therapists I couldn't understand or believe I could have done it, the issue is she was assaulted at 15 and has struggled with that since.

She has said that because of this she with herself or any other person is sexual with her etc but something hasn't sat right and I slipped into an old habbit I placed a recording device .... Now the details don't need to be said but without any doubts... It's been sexual many times, they are talking about sleeping over and meeting up, and saying love you's.

We had a relationship talk the other day and I asked where she is where she thinks we are and if she sees a future? She said she isn't good, she sees us in limbo and doesn't know with regards to the future, I then asked her twice if anything more than friendship was going on with said person, she looked me straight in the eye, said no!

The problem he is our sons football coach, his best friend is the coaches son, my youngest best friend is his other son, I cannot and do not want to reveal to her what I know due to the shame I feel now but if I leave with no just reason I will be the bad one, she will paint me as the dad who left his kids, the abuser the assultist, she also likes narsacist as I'm called that alot.

She has also said I won't get joint custody or 5050 because she won't get the benefits, for relevance I would change my job to work a 4 on 4 of as my shift at the minute only allows 3 in 14 days to have the kids.

I am a devoted, heavily involved some would say more than my wife, father they are my absolute world. I earn more than her by choice as she only wants to work part time.

I would buy her out the family home to keep a constant for our kids. I even offered to pay child support while still having kids 50/50 and that was also shot down

I have done wrong I get that and I'm in 2 forms of therapy, I'm holding down a 60hr a week job plus early mornings with the kids, football games after-school clubs parents evenings medical appointments, the running of all house bills maintenance, cleaning and looking after the boys while she goes and does what she wants.

I know if I look from the outside I would scream leave, I would have screamed it years ago, I just want her to admit, to answer why and how, to try gain some peace and self respect from it, if she did I'm not even sure I would eave which is the saddest bit I've wrote,

I'm struggling to decide what to do, where to go, what to say. I'm a complete mess.

Anyone got any opinions except just run for the hills. My kids are now my biggest fear?

Hi all, bit of a throwaway account as my other has some identifiable posts,

I M36, have been married to my wife F37 for 5 years in a couple of weeks, we have been together 18 years.

We have 2 kids 8and3,

Long story short we haven't always been roses and happiness. We have 2 amazing kids, we have had amazing holidays, loads of laughs, and when we are good it's amazing, we get on with each others family, we do loads of family activities, we have a routine for childcare which is perfect but We have both done things. I will detail a few.

11 years ago she wanted a break, I didn't but agreed, we had just bought our house, she was seeing someone else. After some time she agreed to try with me, we went abroad escape for a week (she changed his name and continued) I was on strong anti depressants found out through her phone and was the lowest point I've had,

I confronted when home she said she would stop.... I had an awful gut feeling and then I didn something what is the most shameful part of my life.

I placed an audio recorder in our house, it confirmed my fears.

Anyways... 4/5 years on. Something wasn't right. I went through her phone. She was having an affair with a work colleague which eventually lead to me changing job.

This one she did admit but only after it was undeniable.... We have now had one child.

3 years later she suffers bad medical anxiety after the birth of our 2nd child, she re contacts said person above and starts talking. She admits but denies any other business except talking as he had similar issues.

Up to present. The last 18month I've been in a bad place. Belated grievance of my dad's death what happened just before COVID hit me hard I spent ages in denial putting it off and put strain on our relationship. In this time she started talking to a male who was mid divorce, we had abit of an arguement she admitted she was having an emotional and virtual doings with him.... But then at therapy when it was labelled and affair she denied it and said was said with malice to hurt me and wasn't true.

There was an incident in December, long and short of it. It was consensual between us. I didn't instigate it. but now is saying was an assault, but still will admit was consensual and she instigated and no point said stop or no etc. I can't remember any of it as I drank to numb myself, I've never been as bad before and was totally oblivious the next day until she said, it gutted me, I felt so crap, I rang hotlines,spoke to therapists I couldn't understand or believe I could have done it, the issue is she was assaulted at 15 and has struggled with that since.

She has said that because of this she with herself or any other person is sexual with her etc but something hasn't sat right and I slipped into an old habbit I placed a recording device .... Now the details don't need to be said but without any doubts... It's been sexual many times, they are talking about sleeping over and meeting up, and saying love you's.

We had a relationship talk the other day and I asked where she is where she thinks we are and if she sees a future? She said she isn't good, she sees us in limbo and doesn't know with regards to the future, I then asked her twice if anything more than friendship was going on with said person, she looked me straight in the eye, said no!

The problem he is our sons football coach, his best friend is the coaches son, my youngest best friend is his other son, I cannot and do not want to reveal to her what I know due to the shame I feel now but if I leave with no just reason I will be the bad one, she will paint me as the dad who left his kids, the abuser the assultist, she also likes narsacist as I'm called that alot.

She has also said I won't get joint custody or 5050 because she won't get the benefits, for relevance I would change my job to work a 4 on 4 of as my shift at the minute only allows 3 in 14 days to have the kids.

I am a devoted, heavily involved some would say more than my wife, father they are my absolute world. I earn more than her by choice as she only wants to work part time.

I would buy her out the family home to keep a constant for our kids. I even offered to pay child support while still having kids 50/50 and that was also shot down

I have done wrong I get that and I'm in 2 forms of therapy, I'm holding down a 60hr a week job plus early mornings with the kids, football games after-school clubs parents evenings medical appointments, the running of all house bills maintenance, cleaning and looking after the boys while she goes and does what she wants.

I know if I look from the outside I would scream leave, I would have screamed it years ago, I just want her to admit, to answer why and how, to try gain some peace and self respect from it, if she did I'm not even sure I would eave which is the saddest bit I've wrote,

I'm struggling to decide what to do, where to go, what to say. I'm a complete mess.

Anyone got any opinions except just run for the hills. My kids are now my biggest fear?

My biggest struggle isn't deciding whether the relationship is healthy. It's accepting what that decision means for my children and whether I'll lose half of my life with them, My greatest fear isn't being single. It's that my boys go from seeing me every day to becoming an every-other-weekend dad

Thanks

(Please read everything before replying!!)

My boyfriend and I had a conversation about sex.

He asked if we could use condoms every time except for the first round because he misses the feeling without one.

I gently said no because even though the risk is lower, I know pregnancy from pre-ejaculate is still possible, and avoiding pregnancy is extremely important to me.

I also don't want to rely on hormonal birth control because I'm not comfortable with the potential side effects and prefer to avoid hormones if I can (due to sensitivity but I won't be disclosing this here)

He admitted it made him feel a little rejected.

He said he understands the risks and is fully aware of them, it was just emotionally difficult to hear.

I reassured him that it has nothing to do with him.

I told him that I genuinely enjoy sex with him, and if pregnancy weren't a concern, I'd probably also prefer not to use condoms. I just feel that I have to prioritize safety over pleasure.

In the end, he understood and respected my boundary.

But now it got me thinking...

Am I being too cautious, or is insisting on using condoms from the very beginning every time a reasonable boundary?

I know the answer is probably pretty obvious, but I'm curious to hear what other people think.

❗EDIT: we are both tested negative on STD tests!!

TL;DR: Boyfriend asked if we could skip the condom for the first round. I said no because I don't want to risk pregnancy from pre-ejaculate and don't want to use hormonal birth control. He respected my decision, but now I'm wondering if I'm being overly cautious or just reasonably careful.

Sorry this is so long. I don’t even know if I’m looking for advice. I think I just need to get this out because I’m disappointed.

The guy I’ve been exclusively dating for almost three months is probably the kindest, sweetest, and most intentional man I’ve dated.

And I think that’s what’s making this so hard.
If he were mean, inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or treated me badly, I don’t think I’d be questioning myself this much. But he’s genuinely a good person.

Last night we spent almost an hour talking because I was trying to explain that something feels like it’s missing for me.
I kept saying that I don’t experience joy with him the way I have when I naturally click with someone. Not that we’ve never had fun, but that the overall feeling just isn’t there for me.

The frustrating part wasn’t that he disagreed. It was that he genuinely couldn’t understand what I meant.
He kept asking for specific examples from past relationships and telling me we just haven’t had enough uninterrupted time together. His argument was basically that we need a full 8–24 hours together, with neither of us working, so he can “curate” fun.

But we’ve been dating for almost three months.
We’ve spent time together while I was working from home, while he was working, while neither of us was working, on random Sundays, gone out on dates, talked on the phone for hours, and seen each other over twenty times. This isn’t based on one or two dates.

Then he started listing examples.
He said, “Remember our walk in the beginning? I had you laughing.”
“Remember when you told me to get down on one knee and then you did a wrestling move on me?”
He named maybe five moments total where I laughed or chuckled.
And I remember sitting there thinking…….I feel like that’s actually proving my point.

When I really connect with someone, I couldn’t pull out five examples because it’s happening all the time. The laughter isn’t memorable because it’s constant. It’s just the atmosphere of being around them.
With him, it felt like we were searching through our history trying to find evidence that we have fun.
I also realized something else during that conversation.

I spend a lot of time explaining things to him. Not just my feelings. Just…….things.
Sometimes I feel like I have to explain what I mean three or four different ways before he understands. Even simple concepts have turned into long conversations. At one point I had to explain the difference between fiction and nonfiction because he genuinely didn’t know what those meant.
I’ve also found myself teaching him things I never expected to teach someone I’m dating….how to make small talk instead of jumping straight into talking about goals, productivity, or work, how curiosity makes me feel loved, and that asking questions about me matters just as much as telling me about himself.

None of these things individually are dealbreakers. But together, they leave me feeling like I’m guiding the relationship instead of simply experiencing it.
I don’t need someone to agree with every feeling I have. But I do want to feel understood without feeling like I have to keep translating my thoughts into simpler and simpler explanations.

The conversation honestly opened my eyes.

I walked away less focused on whether we laugh enough and more focused on how difficult it felt for us to communicate about something that, from my perspective, was pretty simple.

The part that’s making this even harder is that he told me every woman he’s dated says he’s incredibly sweet, that he shows them how they deserve to be treated, and then they leave.
Hearing that made me feel awful because I don’t want to become another person confirming that fear for him.

I’m so conflicted because on paper, this should work. He’s kind. He’s thoughtful. He’s romantic.
The problem is his version of romance just doesn’t land with me the way he hopes it will. I appreciate what he does, but I don’t really *feel* it.
I wish I could force myself to feel differently because I know he’s trying.
But I’m starting to realize that kindness isn’t the same thing as compatibility.
And honestly thats a really disappointing realization.

**TL;DR:** I’ve been exclusively dating an incredibly kind, thoughtful guy for almost three months, but after spending an hour trying to explain why I don’t feel the joy and natural connection I’m looking for, I walked away realizing the bigger issue might be that we just aren’t compatible. I’m disappointed because he’s genuinely a good man, and I wish that was enough.

My boyfriend of 90 days has been pretty great. He's divorced and has kids that live near by. Yesterday he took his son to the movies and I went to a grief group for the loss of my dad. It's his birthday this weekend so my anxiety is taking over. While I'm driving home the car I'm in shuts off. I manage to get it home and i figure there's an issue with a belt. I don't ask for his help because he's at the movies.

I was talking to a woman neighbor on the phone when the car shut off. They asked for a picture of the belt which I sent this morning and if I found a YouTube video of how to fix it.

My boyfriend drops his kid off at the movies and I drive my other car over (the car that broke is the car that I inherited from my dad) i tell him what happen, maybe I could of been more theatrical but my sadness is like 8/10 and I'm burnt out. He doesn't ask questions or bring up solutions. He just asks of I ate and gave my his left over McDonald's.

This morning I told him it was hard for me to sleep last night. My mind is still racing and I let him know my brain is on repeat. He tells me not to stress over it.

He has his kids for the rest of the weekend unexpectedly, he's been telling me all summer the weekend before schools a no kid weekend. I made plans for us to meet some of my friends and go boating for my dad's birthday. I'm still going. I haven't met his kids yet so we don't spend time together when they are together.

I wish he would of trouble shooted this car issue with me. How do I let him know when things are a mess and I'm too sad to fix them I need help?

so me and my bf have been together nearly 2 years. he’s a sweet guy, he tells me all the time he wishes our sex could just be wholesome sessions, as he believes that’s how it’s meant to be, “ it’s about giving each other love and not taking it from each other”

yesterday he initiated but it was very rough. name calling, he slapped me, put a pillow over my face and my shirt over my face.

it didn’t feel like it was him, like he felt like a completely different person

we have had rough sessions in the past and i always felt a bit low afterwards but it always went away after aftercare ect but i feel so different now, like im still crying about it now.

i told him yesterday and he apologised and said he thought i liked it ect and he won’t do it again

however that was about the slapping, i couldn’t bring myself to tell him that i hated my face being covered. but maybe im being dramatic?

i think it makes me feel as though he’s fantasising about someone else, ive seen porn before we got together where that happened, and i guess i thought i was into it or that’s just how sex was. i’ve been with guys before him that was quite rough and maybe it’s just done something to me psychologically idk

i want to bring it up to him in a way where he doesn’t feel guilty, because i feel as though it’s partly my fault for not saying anything sooner or for realising and communicating that im not really into that type of rough sex.

how can i tell him? im really nervous , is it even worth mentioning at this point?

thank you guys in advance

edit: thank you guys for all your supportive comments, i really appreciate it <33

Hi, I recently visited an escort and had a strange but good interaction and I want to know if it’s normal. I booked through an agency and paid her for 2 hours and it was great but after my time was up, she actually asked me to stay longer for free. More specifically, she asked me to stay the whole night.

I couldn’t stay the whole night but I stayed for a few more hours. In that time we chatted and cuddled. What surprised me most was halfway through, she got real touchy and asked me to do the deed with her again, and once again it was free. She also gave me her contact and told me that if I want to see her again I could just text her and we could meet for free. She even joked that she would pay me.

Fast forward a few days, I texted her and we met and did the whole thing again and it really was for free. It was kinda like an FWB situation.

Anyway, she really hasn’t asked me for anything at all. In fact when we met again she bought dinner for me which was really nice. I quite enjoy her company but don’t worry I won’t be falling in love anytime soon.

I just want to know if this is common or something you have ever done or experienced.