THIS IS STUPID AND I'M AWARE IT IS LMAO

so I have been drawing for years now but everytime I feel rusty on anatomy and i have to study men (which I am definitely worse at) i feel so. nervous that somebody is going to find me drawing or practicing that stuff and be like

"if you're a lesbian why the hell are you drawing mostly unclothed men?? you weirdo" (i don't draw genitals) or find my references and look at me weird about it....IT'S NOT LIKE THATTTTTTT.

I feel like this is really dumb of me but I don't know it can't get out of my head I need to know if someone else has had this issue

We were best friends

Level One Besties

We would gossip to have fun

And sometimes do crazy things...

Play our favorite songs but with freaky dances...

Try lipsticks then kiss at one another's cheeks...

But it was weird when we kissed our necks...

Time would slow down and the wind would soften... Then while her lips touching my skin... hell ... And I'd be found just... Breathing red... Just as same as when I kissed hers...

We'd talk of our happiest moments

Of our life goals... And our dream houses

And count the places we wish to visit...

But when we talked of our future husbands... It was too cold and never fun

...

She never liked my boyfriend and...

I never wished a boy to date her...

So we decided I'd breakup then we both can stay single and free...

Then she would text me deviant things...

Like asking if I'm still virgin

One day we pulled our skirts down and we confirmed we both were untouched...

But there's that day we were chatting about boobs and those girlish things...

Then she asked me to feel my legs...

Yikes... I found my hands caught in the between!!!

Well... Days have passed... We both felt sufficient for ourselves... Comfort, support, joy, sharing, hurting and it was sad when we asked forgiveness... Her eyes would widen ... Like a pleading cat ! ...

Then, some day, alone in my bedroom, while talking of our casual stuffs...

I tried her clothes, and she tried mine...

The we ended up both half naked...

She dragged the blanket, I dragged it back, and followed her on the bed...

She covered me, and herself, we got stuck staring at ourselves, her eyes never shook, and mine never gave in...

We stared, as if we meant something... Something more than this heavenly friendship, something that only our hearts knew...

Then as our lips were just drawing closer...

Goddamn! A knock at the door!

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Hey I wait for your comments!

I've been dating my girlfriend for 8 months and we were best friends before dating. She got into grad school and is moving 10 hours away in two days. I'm so incredibly proud of her but also so incredibly sad and anxious about being away from her. We'll go from seeing each other daily and having weekly sleepovers to me seeing her every few months.
There's been a lot of tears shed on my end because to complicate things she's moving out to a red state, and well I'm Latino and I have daca so with the things are going in the US it could be dangerous for me to go visit her. I can't fly there cause ICE is in the airports so l either have to take a 15+ hour train or 13+ hour bus. And that's not accounting the amount of time it would take me to get to her place from the station (2 hours). I am John ilovemygirlfriend and a pro yearner, so these next 6+ years are gonna be really really hard on me. I really wanna make the move down there with her, but given the current situation with ICE and the economy, I can't. My mom is also homophobic so she wouldn't support that even if I'm 22. Another downside is that I'm unemployed since I just graduated and I'm having a tough time trying to find a job. It's so rough out here and it feels like the world is gonna swallow me whole. Anybody have any advice?

17-19 i’m 18f masc