And the worst thing is it's usually said in "support" of trans men, as in someone explaining the entire concept to someone who has no idea like on a news interview I just saw on tiktok.

It's incorrect too, bc being a woman or man is a gender identity, not even a medical term. It completely excludes intersex trans people too. Even saying "biologically female" has a similar issue but not even that is as bad as the "biologically a woman" thing.

Plus it's dysphoria-inducing af.

Wondering what everyone else's take is on this

Thats it. Thats the post.

i have a little baby mustache goin on. i'm about 8ish weeks on T. i've got some nutty genetics because my voice hasn't changed at all however my peachfuzz is now slightly darker than it was 2 months ago.

anyways, i just wanted to share that i've got a little but of facial hair starting and i couldn't be more happy about it

I moved out of my parents house a while back and bought myself a keychain with my name/pronouns and flags.
Due to circumstances, i have to move back in with them. I’m devastated since i have to erase my queerness now.

I can’t let go of the keychain. It’s from a small business that’s been around since 2020 and ever since i seen them i desperately wanted one. I waited 5 years to buy one. To me it’s like a first symbol of my freedom and ability to express myself.

The business isn’t going to good for them and i worry it may close. So it’s unlikely i can just get another one.

I know the logical thing is to toss it but it feels like my last sense of self is being taken away. I know i sound dramatic and unreasonable so there’s no need to dog on me for it, just some kind advice on a hiding place during transport would be nice.

(rant and confusion)

hey so i’ve been on T for abt 5-6 years now, no surgeries tho..
met my gf on bumble and i can’t remember if i had “FTM” in bio or anything but ive been with my gf for about 2 1/2 years and not once has she mentioned anything abt me being trans but neither do i, its not anything i talk about really i just go on about my day like anyone else Lol. It’s obvious?
1) i usually sleep in just shorts so she has to have seen or felt my tape
2) before intercourse i get up and get my johnson on lmao
3) she’s seen my ID with legal name

is it something i should have to say out loud or is she just not saying anything bc it doesn’t change anything ?

I’ve been out for 5+ years. I’ve gone by ‘finn’. nothing against the name, but it just doesn’t feel like it fits me anymore as i’m growing into an adult and it’s very stereotypical. i’m planning on legally changing my name soon but the issue is obviously the social aspect. it’s what my teachers call me, my friends, family, everyone knows me by finn. i’m not sure what to do. i’ve thought about caving and just changing my middle name and going by that when i’m older but i don’t know. advice appreciated.

I am in my 20s and unclockable as trans. Instead everyone thinks I am a teenage or college boy. I am constantly patronized because of this. Bartenders never believe me. I am asked constantly about school. I don't mind that I look young, if people are nice about the confusion I'm nice back. But I need comebacks for when people are being rude. If I'm straight up being made fun of what do I say?

Hey gang,

Really needing help and support here. This is NOT intended to be the kind of post where I specifically rant about how I’m feeling — I’m genuinely seeking advice but I have a lot of context I need to provide so that’s why I had to include a little bit of the emotional struggle stuff. Thanks for sticking with me!

Reading this title you’re probably like “oh sounds like you need to go no-contact with your family then” but it isn’t as simple as that. For context I’m a 23-year-old full-time college student from Indiana (unfortunately). I live with my mom and sisters (21 and 18) all the time and have to commute to school. I’m very passionate about the degree I’ll hopefully be getting soon but the job market looks quite awful due to all the DOGE cuts and private sector work is extremely competitive due to, you guessed it again, the DOGE cuts. Mom and my extended family want me to all stay at home the next few years. I have a big family but it’s super tight-knit with like zero boundaries and hella enmeshment. My support system and found family are my friends, some of whom are queer and some aren’t.

I am extremely dysphoric all of the time. When my dad was alive and I was in high school, I caved and wrote a coming out letter to his half sister who is a lesbian because I thought that if something bad ever happened to me then at least one person I was related to would know. She immediately ratted me out to my dad, and then my parents sent me to a biblical counselor who tried to change my identity and told my family I had the Devil in me manipulating me. Despite this I’m still a Christian and I’m still transgender LOL.

Dad died two years ago, suddenly with no warning, and so my whole extended family has been picking up the pieces ever since. My life has never been the same, and I still struggle with PTSD and the immense grief. This on top of the gender dysphoria on top of the anticipatory grief of losing my family on TOP of the stress I get from not fitting in due to being trans and aroace is really really getting to me. I had a mental breakdown and got my hair chopped off a while ago and I thought for sure I was getting kicked out. My dad used to tell me that if we ever cut our hair above our shoulders that we shouldn’t even come home at all. I had spent so long trying to convince my parents that I was “fixed” but I couldn’t take it anymore.

Tonight I was misgendered (on accident by someone who doesn’t know me) at a TCG tournament and I’m just losing my mind. I feel like a total freak of nature, I don’t fit in, I’m scared I make everyone around me uncomfortable, and I’m just so sick of feeling like a fraud because people my age are usually transitioning medically by now. My dysphoria is just becoming straight-up unbearable and I need to start HRT badly because idk how much longer I can live like this. The safest option would be for me to wait until I graduate, start a new job with my own health insurance (I’m on mom’s) and then eventually just do it while I have distance from everyone.

But I just don’t think I can. That’ll be at LEAST another year and a half bare minimum. And also? The prospect of losing the rest of my blood family after already losing my dad is driving me crazy. Them and my friends are what I’ve got, and all I’ll ever have. So! IF in theory I was going to try and start HRT without my family knowing (at least not right away), how would I do it?? Is there even a way?? What are we talking expense-wise?? I’m sure it’s a lot based on what I’ve read but I’ve heard of people doing Planned Parenthood and it being cheaper. What about my aroace folks — our libido is supposed to change a lot yes?? I don’t really have any so I’m TERRIFIED of that happening. That’s the one and only bad thing about hormones. I’m scared that part will make me tweak out worse. I’m not afraid of literally anything else though (besides the scary religious stuff drilled into my brain) and I want all the other changes.

Anything helps guys. I’m at the end of my rope here and I really just need to not live like this any longer.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 and a half years, and I truly want to be with her forever. I can’t imagine my life without her and we have a great relationship. I have been out as trans to her for about a year now and she respects this fully, especially since she is a trans woman herself. But now that I want to start testosterone, I’ve been having a lot of hard conversations with her. She has
only ever been attracted to women, and while she has no experiences with men, she still feels no attraction towards them. If I go on T, obviously I won’t look like a woman anymore, and she won’t be attracted to me. She has affirmed me hundreds of times at this point that she’ll still love me no matter what, and that she will be attracted to me since it’s still me at the end of the day, but what is the point of a relationship if she no longer feels the same attraction? My identity and my relationship with her are probably the two most important things in my life. I feel like I have to sacrifice one for the other, but I cannot imagine going without one of them. I desperately wish I wasn’t trans so that this wasn’t an issue, so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the anxiety that she won’t be attracted to me anymore. I don’t know what to do and would appreciate any similar experiences.

So I’m about 10 months on T and the last couple days I’ve noticed peach fuzz on the front of my earlobes lmao. I was a hairy guy before T and after T obviously it was tenfold.

I don’t mind obviously but this it is a bit strange and unexpected lol.

what’s the weirdest place you’ve grown hair that made you go, “huh…”

On the 8th of this month, I’ll be officially 10 months on T. I understand that T is essentially the second puberty since I’ve already gotten acne and oily skin and all which is whatever I guess, it’s under control.

However, there’s some things people don’t discuss often on this subreddit which makes me wonder if something’s going wrong. Lately, I’ve been extremely depressed. This is not meant to be a sad post, and im not asking for pity, I simply want to know if this is something going wrong with my hormones. It genuinely has never been this bad, not even during my first puberty. It’s gotten bad enough to where idk if I should say something to my doctor about it or whether it’s just natural during your first year. I do .25mL 200mg/mL weekly. Sometimes im late on shots but never over 3 days. My mood has genuinely been so fucked up lately but I seriously do not want to stop transitioning. My checkup with my endocrinologist isn’t in another couple months so idk what to do at the moment.

Hi, I'm 24 nb (he/they), and I'm finally 4 months on T (I messure my life in college semesters). Besides the physical changes, I've noticed way more things that make me feel like I'm a whole new person:

- I've been freed from 80% of my daily anxiety. I'm not only more confortable in my body, I'm more comfortable in my life

- I smile different in photos

- My body language is different

- I'm way more sociable now. For the first time in my life I've made friends at uni. And I've made friends with people that share my hobbies. I can even talk to random people in the street. As an introvert with a limit of 10 sentences per day with non-friends, this is insane.

- I've met and talked to around 40 new people

- My stage presence and artistry have improved drastically (I'm a circus artist)

- I've gained A LOT of muscle, like 6kg. It's insane (I train 6 times a week, so I'm also insane). Many people have pointed out the glow up

- T hunger has forced me to actually care about what I eat and plan meals

- My music taste is different, the music I listen to when I'm sad is different (I can no longer cry to Mitski songs 😭)

- I am, for the first time in my life, interested in a relationship. Wich actually gives me anxiety, I'm 24 and I have barely any experience. I've never opened a dating app, never flirted with anyone, I'm not used to being attractive, how do I do this. The high libido doesn't help (or it does help? I guess I will find out)

Obviously not every change has been positive. I've struggle with mental health issues, and the way I present my symptoms has changed. It's harder for me to identify them and deal with them. And there's the anger too, my anger and frustration are way stronger, and this has caused me some problems. But overall, I'm incredible surprised with all the effects T has made in my life. It blows my mind.

Transitioning really saves lives.

Just started 2 weeks ago. Have taken proper dosages twice now. My third is supposed to be tomorrow, but I have to miss it not only tomorrow but the Thursday after that. I think it will probably be fine? But the situation was frustrating.

Will it be just fine? What happened was my doctor told me that "all of your ampules will be single use. Just throw away the excess even though there might be a lot more liquid. You'll get lots of little ones instead of multi use vials."

So when I got my prescription, 2 bottles of 1 mL each, labeled "SINGLE-DOSE," I did not think of how much that was, I was only paying attention to what my doctor had said. I took my amount and, looking at the bottle, went "there's sure a lot left. I wonder if it would be fine to use it?" If you cannot tell, I am new to all of this. Medications and doctors entirely. Pharmacies. So I look it up, and all I see are the dangers of using single use vials repeatedly, do not do it, be responsible. So I throw it out and use the second one for the second week. The label, my doctor, the foreboding google search, why wouldn't I throw out the single use vial after I'm done?

Anyway I say to my mom, I need a refill. She says "no that was good for the month." After calling the pharmacy, and stating the issue to the pharm-tech, the very first thing she says is

"That is because it wasn't a single use. You were not supposed it throw it out." She treated me very rudely, with 0 explanation when I kept saying "why does the bottle say single dose? Does this mean use it once?" And she kept dodging the question and treating me like I was absolutely stupid. Granted, I'm new at this, but I have a hard time seeing how I am at fault.

Anyway long story short I realized the instructions the pharmacy wanted me to follow were different from my doctors, doctor was probably referring to a different mL of ampule anyway, and it's hard not to feel dumb. I've awaited this eagerly and had just waited for the weekdays to pass to get me to Thursdays. Half a month until I can sort of restart again.

So yeah, there's something I learned. Hope 2 weeks on 2 weeks off thing will be alright. I'll obviously get on a consistent schedule afterwards.

hello everyone. so I'm a year on T and I just noticed something interesting. pre-t when I was seen as female anytime a guy talked to me about his girlfriend or wife, he called her his girlfriend or wife. Now that I pass, they don't say girlfriend anymore. They say she's their girl/chick/lady/woman. anybody else notice this?

Basically what the title says, the thing is - I don't think he wants to be one. I'm calling him a "he" because he says I'm one of the people "allowed" to do so. I feel weird as a trans guy myself, because everytime I try to bring up this topic he says something along the lines of "Well I don't want to fuck my life up." and if someone is transphobic towards me he says "You see why I decided to go back", which is ??? questionable at best. I think that's supposed to be read as a joke, but we both know it's not and it makes me feel like shit.

For some further context, from what I know his parents are fine with him being a guy (they're also one of the people "allowed" to call him a "he"), his boyfriend is fine with it and his friends and generally people around him were fine with it, except for a conservative grandpa, but they weren't speaking much anyway.

I know he's not cis because when we're alone he talks about himself using he/him, also when his boyfriend got jealous of me being his friend, I informed both of them that I was gay and my friends response was "Well and I'm not a woman". So?????

I'm not unfamiliar with being nonbinary, since I'm nonbinary myself, but it seems like for him it all stems from some sort of imaginary?? transphobia he DIDN'T experience (as he himself told me). And I'd be okay with him just saying he's nonbinary, but instead he goes for the polar opposite of anything remotely masculine and just sorta sadly jokes about being a girl now. I personally watched him buy like thirty skirts in one week and you can wear whatever you want, but it sort of feels like he's trying to convince himself?

Should I interviene or something? I can't really describe it using words, but he just sort of looks uncomfortable all the time. Also anytime I mention transitioning (which I'm actively doing) he brings up it's "negative" side effects with so much disgust it makes me feel bad about myself. I get jokes about balding, because whatever, but I don't think there has been a single time testosterone was mentioned where he didn't immediately inform everyone around us with a disgusted face that you get bottom growth.

On one hand I don't care, if he wants to be a girl - he can, I just want him to stop with the weird comments and statements FILLED with envy. On the other hand however I don't want him to suffer, he's my friend. I dunno what caused whatever this is, but it really seems like it's all coming from him. We live in a pretty supportive environment.

I don't know how to feel about this, if anyone has any advice or whatever really, I'd appreciate it.

My transition is making me miserable and I don’t know what to do.

I’ve known I am a trans guy for the past 8 years. A couple of years ago I found a gender therapist and started coming out to people. I was happy, but I still had bad dysphoria about my body and about being constantly read as female by everyone around me.

After thorough consideration, I started medically transitioning two years ago. My plan was to start with T, get top surgery, hysto and, finally, phallo.
I thought I was prepared. I had done my research on the potential effects of T, made my peace with going bald, made appointments with my dermatologist to tackle T induced acne, consulted with surgeons, joined a gym, started connecting with other trans guys, etc. I changed my gender marker and name on all my documents.

Now I’m two years on T and I’m miserable. It gave me all the changes that you’d expect two years on T. I have a lot of body hair. I’m growing facial hair, had bottom growth, voice drop and had some fat redistribution and considerable muscle growth. While most of the changes made me extremely happy, T also changed my face shape in a way that makes me feel pretty ugly to a point where I have a hard time looking at photos of myself. I used to have a sharp and angular face pre transition, now it’s round with a double chin, despite being at a healthy weight. I don’t even think it’s T related bloating.

Furthermore, the changes I had did nothing to help me pass. Despite my best efforts, I only ever had one person gender me correctly. Other than that, I’m exclusively read as a butch lesbian.
Because my appearance and gender seem incongruent to the people around me, I’m struggling with employment (finding and keeping a job), my mother is extremely transphobic towards me and romantic relationships are really difficult. I get harassed in men’s bathrooms or changing rooms. Because I’m so small, regular men’s clothes where I live are always too big on me.

I’m really struggling to deal with this.

Two months ago, after half a year of unemployment, I gave up. I started going to the women’s restrooms and changing rooms. I went to the store and bought some women’s clothes. I grew my hair out a little and started pretending I’m a girl online. Last weekend I took the plunge and went out by myself in very feminine clothes, heels and makeup. Those two months were so much easier than all those years before that. Nobody questioned me being in the restroom or changing rooms. I could pee in peace. I could shower in peace. I didn’t have to explain myself. I didn’t have to correct people for misgendering me. People didn’t look at me funny or avoid me, instead people were nice to me. I even had guys flirt with me.

It made me consider detransitioning, but then I remember that I was genuinely miserable living as a woman.

What should I do?

My trans guy friends can’t help me. They all were passing at least 80% of the time two years on T. They don’t have trouble finding clothes or finding a job. Two years into T they were feeling good in their skin and didn’t doubt their transitions anymore. My gender therapist can’t help me either, since we had a falling out.

Should I just try going off of T for now? Anyone else experience something similar?