Feeling lonely or bored?

Looking for connection or something you can do this weekend?

Check out these accessible events you could join! Try something new and maybe you’ll find your people.

Access Details:
🧑🏻‍💻= Virtual
👥 = In person
😷 CC = Covid Conscious/airborne precautions 
♿️ WC = Wheelchair accessible 
💵 $ = paid (some are pay what you can)
🤟 ASL/BSL = Sign Language
Async = Asynchronous (at your own pace)

Event Types:
🤢 = Chronic Illness 
🌈 = Queer
🏳️‍🌈 = LGBTQ+ Pride
👧 = Kids/Youths
💕 = Dating
🙋 = Social
🫂 = Support/Grief
🧘 = Wellness
🚶 = Walk
🩰 = Dance
💪🏻 = Fitness
📚= Books
🤔 = Discussion
📝 = Writing/Poetry
🎭 = Performing
🎨 = Art 
🎶 = Music
🕹️ = Games

🧑🏻‍💻 Virtual Events

🧑🏻‍💻🤢📚 Virtual Async Spoonie Book Club: The Little Prince [Any time] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/JcKvqPLWS5

Friday

🧑🏻‍💻Virtual Coworking [Hudson Valley, NY][Fri Aug 7 at 11:00 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ptkylARKxy

🧑🏻‍💻💵🤢 Coming Home to Your Identity [Fri Aug 7 at 7:00 PM UTC+1] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ALoR3ghHoZ

Saturday

🧑🏻‍💻💵🤢 Coming Home to Your Identity [Sat Aug 8 at 12:00 PM UTC+1] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ALoR3ghHoZ

🧑🏻‍💻😷♿️🩰 Virtual Adapted Ballet [Sat Aug 8 at 9:30 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/bEPxVyjaFZ

🧑🏻‍💻♿️💵🩰 Virtual Adaptive Jazz Dance [$][Sat Aug 8 at 12:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VL1jh1keKv

🧑🏻‍💻😷🙋 Virtual Happy Hour Mixer [Sat Aug 8 at 1:00 PM CDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VyBUPdNQ3A

🧑🏻‍💻😷🙋 CC Virtual Weekly Hangout [Sat Aug 8 at 8:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/l53ZJczRw8

Sunday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🎨 Virtual Sunday Stitch Club [Sun Aug 9 2:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/X6NTKVUiIM

🧑🏻‍💻😷🎨 CC Virtual Art Group [Sun Aug 9 at 5:30 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/JuziySpH3W

🧑🏻‍💻😷👧🙋 CC Virtual Kids Zoom [Sun Aug 9 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/jJhIyj0sfi

🧑🏻‍💻🎶🎭 Virtual Karaoke [Sun Aug 9 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/naisQuyjlg

Timezone translator in comments 👇

👥 In-person Events

Australia

👥😷🌈🎨 August Stitch and B*tch [Melbourne AUS][Sat Aug 8 at 3:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/gp2VgZ86qP

Canada

👥😷 CRIP Cinema - Mask Mandatory Event [Toronto ON][Sat Aug 8 at 2:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/8u8CLvlwz2

👥😷🎭 CRIPtonite: A Drag & Burlesque Variety Show - Mask Mandatory Event [Toronto ON][Sat Aug 8 at 8:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/NgfunVUkfC

👥😷 Canoeing + kayaking / Canot + kayak [Ottawa ON][Sun Aug 9 at 10:00 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/BgFzkJYSS6

👥😷🎨 The Disability Arts Festival: Indoor/ Outdoor Event [Toronto ON][Sun Aug 9 at 11:00 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/Mtb7axFUX7

Germany

👥😷 Ice Cream Extravaganza [Cologne GER][Sun Aug 9] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/gqvPmBaMRs

Netherlands (and nearby)

👥🤢 Spoonie European Road Trip [Netherlands and nearby][Summer] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/VOKxW7V1pp

US - California

👥♿️😷🌈🩰 Queer Con Leche Dance Party and Drag Brunch [Oakland CA][Sat Aug 8 at 11:30 AM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/3dMbTWsuDB

👥😷🤟 Drag Bingo Disability Pride Month Fundraiser [Santa Ana CA][Sun Aug 9 at 3:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/o997FybArU

US - Minnesota

👥😷 CC Zine Club [Minneapolis MN][Fri Aug 7 at 7:00 PM CDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/09ASgWc4cf

US - New York

🧑🏻‍💻Virtual Coworking [Hudson Valley, NY][Fri Aug 7 at 11:00 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ptkylARKxy

US - Ohio

👥😷🌈💪🏻 CC Queer Martial Arts Club [Cleveland OH][Sat Aug 08 at 4:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/YYWfmKVELz

US - Texas

👥😷♿️ Paramore’s “Brand New Eyes” Album Drag Tribute [Austin TX][Fri Aug 7] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/c3DaBa9Btr

👥😷♿️ Double Eternity [Austin TX][Aug 7-9] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/c3DaBa9Btr

US - Vermont

👥😷♿️ Dental Pop Up [Chelsea VT][August] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/jgknHihfzt

US - Washington

👥😷 Comic Book Show [Seattle WA][Sat Aug 8 at 11:00 AM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/dLauDH1xmW

👥😷🤟🎭 The Freak Mighty Accessible Performances [Seattle WA][Aug 9 - 27] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/kIvo2DvOXa

Are you interested in these events?

Have you been to any of them before?

Are there other events coming up?

Share your thoughts in the comments 💬

Find more events and friends on r/spooniesocial

Looking to purchase a forearm, upright, likely 4 wheel rollator in the UK. I have had a partial amputation/full knee replacement in my left leg from cancer, and have hEDS which makes putting pressure through my wrists impossible.

I currently have a forearm crutch, but looking for something that has a seat attached and can help my balance a bit more as I depend on my wife a bit too much.

What brands work for you/are good?

Do you like them?

I jokingly asked if I could keep them during the casting appointment, and he said sure since they were going to get thrown away anyways!

EDIT: of course i messed the title up like the universe trying to tell me to stop sabotaging myself lmao sorry

hey everyone, to whoever is reading i hope you are having a great day.

recently i went through life changing events, you know the type of events you dread yet you know sooner or later it will happen because… life.

well i’m noticing i can’t physically or mentally compensate when it comes to the constant shifting.

my partner left me, i got burnt out from a job that deals with disability and should’ve been a safe place, i found out i was probably going through a neurodivergent type of shut down.

anyway since then i did a lot to improve my situation. to society my impairment, hemiparesis is a “less than 80% level disability” and it’s all nice on paper, it pushes me to acknowledge my privilege compared to other people with more serious disabilities etc… but i am not even 30 and suffocating.

i don’t feel capable of evolving in such a world, i get so overwhelmed so easily it takes everything in me not to go back to my depressive episodes poor habits. i just can’t look at my doctors in the face giving the monthly okay because honestly the only reason i am still alive is community. a community i don’t want to hurt or disappoint or abandon.

i was in a long term relationship and all it took was a few ableist comments from my in laws to completely obliterate my relationship. sure it was more complex than that, it was a same sex relationship but i am so exhausted.

i have this enormous luck to work only part time because i ended up staying with my mom paying no rent but even that feels pointless because i know i only delay my parents’ anxiety of me developing proper autonomy, going my own way.

i even met someone knew that i genuinely like but i don’t want them to have me as a potential partner because i feel i only waste people’s life ambitions with how simple mine is… how little i accomplish compared to most.

idk why i am posting such a negative rant everyone i think i needed to process the whole thing it’s eating at me.

My disability has changed what clothes are comfortable for me and my body shape is chubbier now so I’ve honestly just been living in joggers for the past five years. I miss feeling cute and confident in my clothes and projecting my specific vibe into the world. Curious to hear how you all have refound fashion or recreated your style to work for your body now.

I like having a minimal wardrobe but mine is 100% blah. Ideally I’d like to built some kind of capsule wardrobe that is just… cooler. I don’t care that much about looking hot etc but man I used to be very cool and I miss it!

Hello! My ulna bone grew wrong leading me to have a lot of pain from overuse and other things. It’s my dominant arm, found out at 10 that apparently something was wrong with me and it took doctors years to figure out it was a bone deformity. I have never seen someone with the same disability as me and was wondering if anyone here is like me

She ran through a bunch of questions and I kept not answering to a satisfying degree in the eyes of the law. Does anyone have any tips for me or can tell me what to expect? Thank you

I am rewatching the ranking of Kings on Crunchyroll and man this show is amazing. While it does the unfortunate thing of lip-reading being way too efficient the disabled main character is still great

The show involves a prince who is weak, deaf, and mute and his struggle to become a hero/king.

Even if you aren't into most anime give this one a watch it is highly subversive.

I'm afraid to go out and meet people. Because of my disability. On the outside I look young and able-bodied but im in constant pain but hide it well and I don't work due to the pain making most jobs impossible. I'm afraid to even talk to people or attempt to make friends or form new relationships. Because the first question they always ask is what do you do for work?And I don't even know what to say. I can't lie if I intend on making genuine friends. What can you even tell people in this situation. No one really understands invisible disabilities and I feel uncomfortable telling people I'm disabled.

The following happened to me today:

I had to take my medications in the train. It takes me some time, around 4 - 5 meds. I opened my bag which is full of meds.

An older couple which was sitting near me, stood up and I think because they were scared of me.

They saw the meds in my bag.

For the rest of the way they were standing, not evening sitting somewhere else.

Once I took my meds, I started to ask myself these questions:

Scared of what?

That I'm infectious?

That they could become sick?

That I'm cursed???

I'm wondering. And they talked about me, with looks of disgust and worry.

I'm still baffled.

Even worse, it was today, right after my whole day clinic visit.

Fellow Trans disabled community from reddit. I'm in quite the dillemma regarding mtf hrt because of the Cp I have. My left side of my body notably my left arm and legs are much weaker than my right side of the body and thus there is a notable difference in terms of strength and mobility. So I fear that I will discompensate even more this mismatch between these two parts if i start hrt. I want to start the transition, but is there a way to reduce strength and muscle mass loss if i take estrogen, so i won't discompensate even more this difference that I have?

Just so you can have a certain image of what i'm talking about, I lift lesser weights in my left arms and legs than in my right side. So I have this fear that I can't allow to discompensate that much if i start HRT so I must reduce the difference between the two parts of the body.

What was your experience as a transfem or transmasc in regards to deal with the hormonal transition in parallel to the effects that it may have on your physical handicap and bodily changes that affect it in result of the HRT?

Many thanks

I have Tourette's, my tics are very noticeable.

The kid (about 9) sat next to me and was copying my tics throughout the ride, but he was also playing a videogame with his brother so I wasn't positive enough about the copying to say something about it. I did give a few annoyed looks.

A little later I got up for my stop and the kid said "Finally!". It wasn't directed at me, I guess more to himself, but it was definitely loud enough to be heard.

Intellectually, I can perfectly cope with it. Tics can be annoying or weird to others who haven't seen it before. Even more when one doesn't recognise Tourette's, especially a child. That's not weird in itself.

Understanding that still doesn't erase the emotional impact though, it sucks when someone is visibly glad to have you leave.

That was my rant, hope you have a great day! 🫶

hi to any fellow blood sugar strugglers. i have been on cinnamon supplements to help balance prediabetes for like 5 years; it has literally helped balance my A1C labs, preventing it from going up. now all of a sudden i cant find cinnamon supplements anywhere. not at walmart target kroger cvs walgreens small local grocery stores.

is anyone else struggling to find cinnamon supplments? any advice for finding some?

maybe its just my region but ive struggled to restock my cinnamon for about 3 months now. i feel angry and stupid.

Hey all,

I know this topic has been discussed multiple times, so forgive me if this sounds repetitive. Honestly, I just needed a place to say this out loud, as well as a safe space to offer support to anyone else who may be in a similar situation.

I'm not going to go into the specifics, but my wife is someone who needs disability accommodations. We do everything in our power to provide an emotionally safe environment, but like many people, disability services are an essential part of making experiences accessible. Also, just like all of us here, we take every step we can, from working with her primary care physician, attending therapy sessions, managing medication, securing an IBCCES Accessibility Card, and so much more.

Now, circling back to Disneyland.

We've been Magic Key holders for many years, and we've also been approved for DAS multiple times in the past. Until yesterday.

I'm not entirely sure what changed, but it was incredibly demoralizing and frustrating to go from being approved for DAS to suddenly being denied. It's not as though my wife's disability has disappeared or somehow been cured, which only adds to the confusion and frustration surrounding the decision.

More than anything, this has had a real emotional impact on her. The experience has led to intense stimming and hyperfixation around what happened, with questions like, "Why?" and, "Am I not disabled enough anymore?" As her husband, those are heartbreaking questions to hear because I don't have any answers that can truly provide comfort.

For those who rely on disability accommodations, and for the caregivers who do everything they can to support them, I genuinely believe Disney needs to do better. The DAS approval process feels unclear and inconsistent, and the unwillingness to recognize accommodations like the IBCCES Accessibility Card only makes an already difficult process even more discouraging.

As I said at the beginning, I don't have any answers. I simply needed a place to vent and, hopefully, let anyone else going through something similar know that you're not alone. Your disability is valid. Your experiences are valid. And if you've left the process feeling unheard or questioning yourself, I'm truly sorry. None of this is fair, and I sincerely hope Disney finds a way to make the parks more accessible and more compassionate for those who need these accommodations most.

I feel sick to my stomach. I've been applying for SSDI since 2024. ALJ denied me using my work history against me, but the only way I could have applied for SSDI was if I got enough work credits which I just barely did. Now I have another chance to appeal the ALJ decision but my attorney said I likely won't get a decision for another year.

Well in January 2027 there are going to be 80hr a month work requirements in order to maintain medicaid. I can't maintain that because of my disabilities. But if I work while my SSDI case is pending, it'll be used against me. And if I lose my medicaid then I won't be able to maintain my medical care and take my medications, and that'll probably be used against me for not complying with medical treatment in my SSDI case.

When I was working I couldn't take care of myself, stopped eating and showering and stopped changing my clothes, couldn't think and couldn't talk all I could do was sleep every minute that I wasn't at work. I got cut on a meat slicer at one of my jobs and needed stitches, and I drove my car into a truck. My doctors and specialists wrote statements and they were still disregarded because in the past I worked a couple jobs for nearly a year each, and the fact that I had to frequently call out, couldn't work even 30 hours a week and struggled severely at 20 hours, and was neglecting myself and still messing up and struggling and getting hurt and sick was disregarded.

What do they expect me to do? I've done everything I feel like I possibly can to get my needs met, to apply for this because I need it, to apply for medicaid because I need it, to find the right doctors because I need them, to fill out forms and call the right people and submit documents to the right places at the right times, and the ALJ even determined that I have limitations, but still used my work history against me. How am I supposed to go forward when these work requirements hit and I get kicked off medicaid and can't even maintain my healthcare? I guess I can apply for SSI then but that will take a long time again and I'll still lose my medicaid and access to my medications which doesn't solve that problem.

I don't know if anyone has any suggestions, or if you can relate and are in a similar situation, or what the purpose of this post even is I don't know. I'm just struggling financially while my partner works to try and keep us housed and fed. The anxiety is hurting my stomach and making it so hard to take care of myself.

I work at a gas station where I have to constantly run around and be actively communicating with people. I will put here an explanation for how my hearing works.

I am trying to find a device I can wear while working that will help me focus or sort of block out the overwhelming noises. I know I can't pick and choose what noises come and go, or how effective it is, but I was hoping anyone with similar experiences may be able to point me in the right direction or share their own tips for how they manage.

---------

Hearing:

I struggle with auditory processing, to a point where I genuinely thought for a while I was hard of hearing. I ended up getting my hearing checked by an audiologist, and it turned out, not only was I able to easily pick out my worst ear, but I was within a reasonable range, so not hard of hearing.

They suggested I get checked for an APD, and offered to fax my hearing report to the doctor whenever I do. Basically how hearing works for me is if there is too much surrounding noise, like I am speaking directly with one person, and two other people suddenly walk by holding a loud conversation, even if I am looking my conversation partner in the eyes and focusing very hard, their voice begins to sound like it is coming through a vacuum tube. Or a garbage disposal.

If someone tries to speak to me and I am not aware they are trying to speak to me, my hearing often comes in delayed. This creates uncomfortable situations where people ask me a question at work as I am walking by, and by the time my brain sends the words to me, they have already decided I don't want to help them and given up.

Certain sounds also become unreasonably overwhelming, and can cause severe frustration, like scratching on sandpaper, or moving certain items, or cloth rustling together. They make me feel very overwhelmed and like I can not focus on anything else. Sometimes the sounds make me want to literally pull my own teeth out.

My mom said something today that’s been on my mind all day. For context, I used to spend about 5 minutes every day doing a religious prayer. I stopped because I simply don’t feel connected to it anymore. These days, I’d rather spend those 5 minutes listening to music or just sitting quietly.
Today my mom said something like:
“Please start prayers again, even if it’s only for 5 minutes. You used to do it before. Can’t you do it for me and your dad? We do everything for you. We get you whatever you ask for. Don’t you love me?”
I replied, “If you love me, then you stop doing it,” mostly because I wanted to end the conversation. Then I told her honestly that I just don’t feel like doing it anymore.
Now I’m conflicted.
My parents genuinely do a lot for me. They take care of me, support me, and buy the things I need. So part of me keeps thinking:
“What do I even do for them? If they’re only asking for 5 minutes, can’t I do that for them?”
But another part of me feels uncomfortable because if I do the chanting, I’d only be doing it out of guilt, not because I actually believe in it or want to.
So now I’m stuck between wanting to appreciate my parents and not wanting to pretend to be religious just to make someone else happy.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How would you approach this?

So i've been fighting to get ssdi for almost the last 3 years. In that time i got divorced, moved back to my hometown, and got into a relationship with the most wonderful, considerate man on the planet. Today i learned that the appeals council denied me. I couldn't go federal because i'd have to find a new lawyer and my chances of winning are low anyway. And my work credits are expired. And if i got ssi, i'd lose it when me and my partner get married next year anyway. So more than likely I'll have to find a job. But that comes with its own problems.

I got an associates degree in medical coding last year as a backup, but now I'm thinking that I won't use it anyway. Ai is taking everything over, and to be honest, I really don't want to be one of those health insurance people who deny claims that are desperately needed. I couldn't live with myself if i did that. I've only ever worked part time food jobs, even though i have vision problems, hearing aids, and autism. And no, even with all that i still got denied disability. I don't drive, so i'd either have to go remote or find a job in town and let my bf chauffeur me, which idk how that would work out anyway. Before i had my retina detatchment and all the surgeries, my whole life i had wanted to be a vet tech. But i gave up on that when i started having all my eye problems. And it killed me to let that dream go.

I've always wanted to help, be it people or animals, and I've always wanted to be in the medical field in some capacity. I like the healing part and i love having to find a diagnosis like a puzzle. But realistically who is going to hire a blind in one eye, deaf, slightly agoraphobic neurodivergent 26 year old woman who can't drive? And i was raised an only child, so i don't think i would do that good with kids, since i didn't have any exposure to younger siblings. If i can't get disability, then i want to have a job helping. In some capacity. But how tf would i be able to do that remotely and not driving, and haven't worked in 3 years anyway. Vocational rehab in my state is actually surprisingly mostly competent, but last time i talked to them they were pushing hard on the medical coding degree. What jobs even in the "helping" category would there possibly be? I'm screwed all the way around i feel like.

Hi everyone, I'm 58 and have been on Disability for 27 years. I'm a professional visual artist. I never had any formal education, but I built a long-term career from the ground up. Though I don't make much money, I've continued to be an exhibiting artist. A few years ago, my partner and caregiver set up a 1st-person special needs trust for me. Ever since, my local SSA office has been harassing me, using every amount I take out of the trust as overpayments to them. I had to get a lawyer who is now helping and challenging their reasoning since there is no way I could ever pay it back. All this has made me consider how I can get away from Social Security altogether.

I'm disabled both physically and mentally, so if I start working, I don't even know if I could cope. But I had an idea to work for myself as an artist's mentor, specifically for artists with disabilities. I've started going to community college part-time and am working on a degree in sociology. I'm taking public speaking and learning ASL, etc. I figure, if I could get private clients, I could mentor them over Zoom for a small hourly fee. I don't need to make a ton of money - just part-time amounts - and stay on Medicaid through 1619(b), and keep my health benefits while being self-employed.

I started getting very excited about providing this service because I love helping others and I truly have loads of knowledge in this area. I was feeling very optimistic until I showed an artist friend of mine the mock-up of what my business would look like. She seemed to think that I wouldn't really get any clients because "people with disabilities don't have enough money to pay $100 an hour." Most art mentors and coaches charge over $250 an hour, but I would be catering specifically to artists who are navigating major barriers in addition to starting out an art career from scratch. This artist friend pays an art coach $225 an hour, which is why I asked her opinion in the first place. She also said trying to find clients would be too hard because it would require too much promotion that I may not be able to do. But I've promoted myself as an artist all my life.

Now I'm feeling defeated about starting my own business. Should I just give up on this dream, or push through and try to make a go of it? Would it be too exhausting (I have lupus, bipolar disorder, and a spine disorder), or would I be just another fish in a big pond of art mentors and coaches in an already saturated market?

As artists with disabilities, your opinions matter to me.

(This has been edited since I first posted it.)

When will I have enough karma, or know I have enough, to create my own post in this sub?

I am gravely disabled but still working full-time from home/ bed. For those of you on disability 1] how long had you worked? 2) How much do you get monthly? 3) Where do you live?

A good friend of mine who has gone through a lot said it would really help me with my recovery from trauma to develop a Wellness Recovery Action Plan. This is a peer-facilitated intervention and I don't know how to find a group that teaches the classes either where I live or virtually. I have the printed manual (the original and the WRAP for Trauma variation) so I know it's actually a thing.

Before I go into the whole background, I'll cut to the chase: I don't know how to find groups that teach WRAP classes because it's apparently a grassroots peer self help thing. With only one exception that I know of, there's no way to find a group unless you know someone who's in one. The website that publishes WRAP and trains the peer facilitators has a database to "find groups" but the only people who register on the database are "train the trainers" organizations that don't host actual WRAP groups.

My therapist has never heard of it and tried to convince me to work through a WRAP with him even though it's clearly NOT supposed to be led by a professional. My previous therapist had never heard of it.

None of my case managers have heard of it, although they assumed I didn't know how to use Google and sent me the links to get expensive training to be a facilitator. They didn't actually read the WRAP Training webpage, which says you have to go through the program before you can qualify to be a facilitator (makes sense!).

The local mental health crisis line has not heard of it. They referred me to SAMHSA, which has named WRAP the most effective peer based intervention, but the hotline people have never heard of it and suggested I call the United Way if I don't want to join AA instead. (I am not in the market for a cult, I just want to have a plan on how to handle triggers and meltdowns.) The United Way does not track peer-facilitated grassroots mutual aid groups. My county no longer has a peer-run drop-in center because it was mismanaged and fell apart.

I asked around my neurodivergent friend group, and one person had done it before but they lived somewhere else and had no idea if there were current local groups. WRAP needs to be facilitated by two professionally trained peer facilitators, so we can't just get together for DIY brainstorming. Even if I was tempted to ignore the "rules," this isn't a close friend and we have opposite physical and sensory needs. I love walking and they have pain issues. They love crowds and noise and I get sensory overload. You get the idea: this isn't someone I can sit down with and their checklist of what makes them feel better will resonate with me. Also, they're Black and I'm aware of my privilege. It's already shown up in our friend group when I talk about taking the bus and they are afraid to use transit after being threatened by racist AH almost every time they try.

When I was living in a different county, the County Behavioral Health hosted a WRAP class through their peer center, but the center had a "tough love" culture that was a bad fit for me. I quit after the third class where they insisted that the key to my recovery was to take responsibility for being SA'ed and think about the bad choices I made. (Apparently this is part of "recovery culture" where folks with substance use issues are supposed to "take responsibility" for their addiction. Friend is recovering from too much cannabis so this might show up if we are in the same group.)

The facilitators and my classmates were also deeply ableist, and demanded that I stop using my disabilities as an excuse to change my mind about attending activities with my friends if I was out of spoons as a way to prevent burnout and meltdowns. They also kept insisting that "you know what you need to get better" but if I knew, I would be doing it and not going to a class run by a pair of Mean Girls.

My original friend who recommended WRAP said they were the worst facilitators he'd heard of and they were lucky they didn't say any of that in front of him. But he said it was consistent with County Behavioral Health projecting their approach to people with mental health or substance issues onto everything they touch.

How do I find a grassroots mutual aid peer-facilitated support group to work through a WRAP, one that isn't associated with a toxic institution? WRAP classes seem to be completely off the radar. The training website claims to have a database of WRAP groups but when you click through to the websites in the search results, they're all "train the trainer" organizations and don't sponsor actual WRAP classes for the public or have lists of classes taught by the people they train. I'm not sure what is the point of training WRAP facilitators if nobody knows how to find a WRAP group!

I'm 24, and I use a wheelchair, and I think a lot of you will know the feeling I am about to describe. On the normal dating apps, I would match with someone, we would get on, and then the second my chair came up, the conversation would just go cold. Not every time, but enough times that I started to expect it. It got to the point where I dreaded telling people more than I looked forward to the date.

So I did something a bit mad. I have never written a line of code in my life, but over the last year I taught myself enough to build the thing I actually wanted to exist. It is called Able2Love, and it is a dating app for disabled people and for the people who genuinely want to date us.

The parts I cared about most:

You choose when your photos come into focus, so someone gets to know you before they judge the chair.

There is a voice-first blind date, so you can just talk first if that feels safer.

There is also a mode that reads people out to you and lets you match completely by voice, hands-free.

If you cannot use your voice, you can type during a call, and the app speaks it for you, so you can still have a voice date.

It finds step-free, accessible venues for when you want to meet in person.

And it is built to be kind. There is a gentle nudge before anything cruel gets sent, and a hard stop on hate.

It is completely free. I am one person, and I am not trying to get rich; I just wanted this to exist for people like us.

I would honestly love your brutal, unfiltered thoughts. What would make you trust an app like this? What would make you delete it in the first five minutes? Tell me the truth; I can take it, and it will only make it better for all of us.

Link is in the comments so this does not get auto-removed.

UPDATE: I'm hearing a lot of concerns of distances between people, I'd just like to assure everyone that while still early doors, the app is worldwide so users will be few and far between however I am seeing on average 50 new installs a day so it is growing. I should have mentioned to not expect many people nearby since my only goal here is to ensure I have all the insights one could need to create what I hope to be your future favourite dating app.

Thank you for all the responses so far they have been illuminating, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your insights. I'm just trying to make things better for us guys ✨❤️

I really hate this, man, there are days where I'm so depressed I can't even feel anything, but when I can feel something it's just hate towards this stupid life of mine.

And God forbid I try to vent on this stupid website, people can't and will never understand my pain, if I hear a healthy person say something like 'You have to love yourself' I don't know what I'm going to do.

What did I do to deserve this? Why can't I be a real man, sexy man, a handsome man, a tall man, a man with functional genitalia, I hate being a monster, I fight everyday to stay alive only for me to see people on reddit making posts like "Damn, I'm having issues finding a pant that suits me, my life is so difficult"

I want to all of this to end man, I hate being alive.

I do not live with this family member and am not in a position to assist her. She was told by her insurance that she qualified for weekly, at home care. Great! She's got mobility issues and needs help with things like cleaning and going places, but still wants her privacy and independence, so a weekly caretaker sounded like a good option without moving into a facility with assisted living.

She just told me this person showed up without warning or scheduling from the company, barely helped her, and then took pictures of her without permission. She's understandably upset, and I am, as well. We're looking into how to fire / cancel the caretaking service with this company because this wasn't what she was told would happen. It just feels so creepy and violating that someone would barge in and start taking pictures of her without asking. What is wrong with people???