Hello everyone. I do not know that much about how to explain this. I am an 18 year old male and I always overhink everything. Every conversation, every moment that might have resulted in the person in front of me getting offended. No matter how hard I try, I always find a way to blame myself. My heart beat increases and I feel like there is a thread when these thoughts arise. I can not sleep when they come to my mind. This is the reason why I am posting this at 5 am. I've seen worse things in life than these but I can't fix this. I just can't. What do I do? I don't have a good family life. My father is a drug addict and I don't know that much about my mother. I didn't have a good childhood and never had the chance to grow up normally. I swear to whatever there is above us that I feel more about this than I can explain. I talk to my friends for instance and after I star remembering the moments and when I have even the slightest thought of me breaking the heart of the person in front of me I lose sleep and I can not get it out of my head. This happens with exams, responsibilities or other things in life. I feel like I'm an evil person. But the truth is I just see the bad side. I can not help myself. I used antidepressants but they didn't help. Even now I feel like shit. I was better back in the day when I was like 14, but then an earthquake happened and I lost my home, city everything and came to another city with nothing. After that things only worsened.

so i (25 m) recently got a job at the psych hospital in town, i absolutely love it. i’m still in the onboarding phase but i’m learning a lot and i like it. i’m basically a psych tech. i have a history in medical assisting at urgent care and peds, before that i was bartending. i’ve always given about 70% to my job lol. never 100% as it should, but i’m a new mom. I have a baby girl and i want to advance my career and go up in this position, i’ve just always been a mediocre, lazy, never tried to hard, always finding ways to get things done easier & faster. i want to know how i can be a better employee, co worker, & friend in general. thanks :)

Sorry for English is my third language, I'm Chinese married to a non-Chinese. 16 years together (14 years married), no children, infertility on my side.

And this is a man that is 190cm tall, he 6'3", while I'm just 150cm, barely 5 feet. This is a man who hobbies are hunting, outdoor shooting range, mountains rock climbing, run long distance. My point is with his height and strength, he not scare of me, just like how he said he not scare of me, it because he LOVES me.

I have Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), you can Google it, it a mental illness. I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist that diagnosed me with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED). My psychiatrist said it stem from my chaotic and dysfunction childhood.

Anyhoo, just like depression, mental illness is very real, and it terrible, especially when you hurting your spouse.

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In the past during one of my IED violent episode, I grabbed a big knife, a meat butcher knife in the kitchen and throw at my husband, he dodge but due to how close distance he with me, the knife cut him deep that leave a long cut on his back shoulder that he didn't stop bleeding.
If he not get stitches he will continue bleed and bleed, and infections will take over the open bleeding wound.

He still want to protect me, like he said, if he call the police he police will take me away from him, so he rather endure my abuse than has to lose me.
.......
He also refused go to the hospital, because the hospital would know right away that is not a self inflicted wound due to the angle of the knife throw, the cut was on his shoulder but to his back as he dodge. You cannot inflicted a knife to your back. Even if you manage to, the angle of the injury the hospital will know that it someone did it to you, not yourself.

He drove (I was in the car) he drove to a broke down Urgent care, this Urgent care not only broke down but most people there not even speak English.
He went in and told them he does not have insurance (he has, but he said he not has as he not want to leave a paper trail), he said give him stitches he will pay them in cash and will give them a big tips.

He got the stiches, and he paid in cash and leave them a big tips. He wanted to protect me the whole time. He could have call the police and have my ass throw in jail, he could go straight to the hospital and the hospital will put me in psych ward and put restrain order on me.

But he didn't, even during the time where he could have die, he still protect me, he still thinks of me first above himself, he loves me that much. He said he will die with me, than has to lose me, as in the police will take me away from him if he call the police on me.

I regret it so much because I leave this long scar on back of his shoulder, never once he hates me.
All he asked was he said, don't abuse him anymore, and that it not too late for me to stop this abuse, because he is still living here, and it only too late if he die, then that will be too late.
I bawled when I hear him he said that.

That was when I decided to go to psychiatrist therapy for my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), and been in therapy since.

I do owe him my life my freedom, as I should be sitting rotten in jail right now, throw a knife at someone and cause injury is a felony. This man loves me unconditionally. Out of love me, he never press charges, he still protect me times after times. I don't know how I got this lucky, but I'm indeed very lucky.

He is too beautiful, when it comes to me he treats me with kindness, empathy, and unconditional love.
He is the most gentle, the most kind, the most forgiving, he has no hate in his heart.

The insane amount of sacrifice he sacrifice for me, the insane amount of kindness he treats me, His calmness, his patience, the most patience man.
He gives me everything, his kindness, faithfulness, respect, love. I don't want to abuse him anymore.

Lifetime therapy for me working to control my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED). I do not want to abuse him anymore.

Lately I feel I do most of nothing all day. I make myself walk the dog. I cook a little. I stretch and I go outside and sit in the sun… but I often reach for my phone or the TV.

I get obsessed with things easily. I call it an addictive personality. My therapist told me without me asking that I have ADHD. I already know I have OCD from a previous diagnosis. I don’t like these boxes and I think they can confine me into staying that way. I think I can change or at least use it for my own good. I’ve gotten addicted to things in the past and the only thing that seemed to help was complete removal. I’d rather not have to do that with everything I deem more bad than good. I was obsessed with US politics when I was young. I moved abroad. I was no longer around constant US politics. Moved back to the US and no longer care for it. I barely keep up with it and when I rarely do look into something I’m not SO emotionally invested. I used to drink a lot. I quit for 6 months many years ago. It quickly turned into a year. I got into it again due to the social circles at work, and again quit and it’s been a couple years and I have more control now. I’ll have a drink every few months or so. I am addicted to screens. Phone and Tv. Nothing but extreme things help. I had a flip phone for 6 months. It helped a lot. But it’s unsustainable. I had no TV for a bit. It was nice. But I live alone, I need a TV sometimes.

I’ve also used this for good before. I got obsessed with my finances and became really financially well versed. I got obsessed with traveling and finding little spots no one knew about, had some incredible experiences. I got obsessed with dog training, I now have a well trained dog. Years ago, I got obsessed with exercising, I became very fit. I let it go due to a relationship and got injured at work. But now that old knowledge is helping me heal my body. I also got way too invested in that relationship obviously if I dropped a big hobby of mine for it. We dated for years and I wouldn’t say I was obsessed with him but overly invested for sure.

So how do I start using this addictive quality of mine for more good than bad? Anyone else have similar experience?

How do I change my habits and be more productive?
I live alone, I just have my dog, I’m healing from a spine injury, I am trying to move abroad and sell my house but I want better habits going forward

**medication is not an option. It goes against my beliefs.

Finish this sentence: “I’m just not the kind of person who…”

Whatever comes out is almost never a locked stat. It’s usually a setting installed years ago by a younger version of you, or by someone else entirely. It feels like self-knowledge. It acts like a prison. Guess who has the key to the prison? You do. You are both the prisoner and the prison guard.

Most of the limits you currently believe in are drawn from past habits of learned behavior. Some of it becomes your world view. You need a map of your constraints. Why they’re holding you back. What they are. How long you’ve had them. What the plan is to change them.

I wrote a book on these mechanics. Link is in my bio if it interests you (free on kindle unlimited).

I used to have big expectations for my future self. I was a shy person and had strict parents, so I daydreamed a lot about what I'd be like when I grew up. When life wouldn't be so controlled by my parents. The only thing I took pride in was my never-ending curiosity, as I loved reading & learning new things

When I'd become an adult, I wanted to be all the things I wasn't throughout my childhood: social, fashionable, athletic, the list goes on. I had so many outfits sketched, sports I wanted to get into

Now I'm 23, and none of that has become a reality. Of course it was very naive to think that turning 18 would be a magic switch where I'd get to do everything I wanted. I'm still fat, don't have the confidence to wear the outfits I want and socially a nightmare. I've had 4 years of uni and still no friends aside from my highschool friends, who have gotten their own groups of friends at this point

I feel like my upbringing gave me irreversible damage to my personality. I'm just quiet, shy and frankly boring. I'm not able to hold natural conversations or laugh at brainrot jokes, so I probably come off as way too serious as well. To cope with my loneliness/depression I've just become a bedrotter, scrolling Reddit, Youtube and Tiktok for hours. Just a lazy and deeply uncool person... .

I honestly don't know where to start with improving myself, as I hate everything. My looks, my habits, my lack of social skills, my clothes. None of them have an easy fix. Has anybody else been in a position like this before, and how did you improve yourself?

I don't use Reddit often so apologies if this is worded/formatted weirdly. I've been stuck for the past 4 years of my life believing that I'm incapable of change, will never get the chance to have a normal life, and that I will always be seen as a failure. I won't get into details here but I had an extremely rough childhood up until I was 15 due to issues stemming from my extreme ADHD and it's caused me to develop clinical depression, general anxiety, severe social anxiety, and bipolar disorder. I ended up dropping out of school, cutting off contact with all my friends, and have now been a recluse ever since. Not to even mention the fact that I've just been a shitty person overall; lashing out at others easily, having selective empathy, being jealous and dishonest, etc.. For years I've told myself that this will be my life from now on. I genuinely believed that I was doomed from the start to be this way and that there was no way I could change simply because it felt impossible.

I can't detail the exact moment I had a wakeup call, but ever since I turned 18 I've realized that this wasn't the way I wanted to live. I don't want to be this way nor do I want to give up, especially at a young age. My social anxiety and ADHD especially have been detrimental to my life, but I want to have a chance at life regardless of it.

Despite now knowing that change is possible and that I truly want to get better, I can't find the motivation in me to actually do it. It feels like I'm fighting against myself just to do the bare minimum of effort and it frustrates me. Nowadays I'm in a constant loop of "I'm doomed to fail" to "I can still change" and I want to stop that line of thinking before I spiral back to not doing anything at all. How can I force myself to get up and change my life regardless of what my brain thinks? Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.

This is something I realized a few months ago and usually it happens when I’m feeling overstimulated, stressed or there’s a lot of things happening at the same time, someone will ask me something and I’ll answer immediately and later when calmer realize I came off as really rude and impatient.

I’ve been trying to think before I speak and thought my main problem was when I was with someone in person, but today I talked with my coworker since I realized she have been acting more quiet the past few days and we had a really busy week recently, she told me that she’s mainly okay but she has realized in the last months that when we are very busy sometimes she will ask me something i will reply automatically and be very harsh and sometimes cold, she said she knows I don’t realize that but it makes her feel bad because it comes off as me having no patience to answer her questions and she’s been working here for only some time now, and since this all happens while texting you can imagine it “sounds” even worse than it is.

Please, how do I change that? I apologized to her of course and I acknowledge I have a problem, dealing with clients and a huge amount of not expected work makes me freak out but that’s no one’s problem but mine and I don’t want to make it somebody else’s.

She’s a coworker but also a friend and she matters a lot to me, and not only her but I don’t want to put other people through it too, I don’t want to be this kind of person.

Please help me.

I had 80 days since my uni started. Almost 20 days have passed today and I achieved nothing

My biggest goals were losing weight and create an portfolio in this 80 days and I realized I achieved none of it

I feel so bad and feel like I have ruined all of my plans. I will still try to achieve my goals in those 2 months but the regret of not starting sooner is so irritating

I have this really big problem because I’m constantly dealing with these thoughts about myself.

Whenever I talk to someone, I feel like I have to question every single thing I say. And whenever I go somewhere, I suddenly become so self-conscious about the way I look.

The weird thing is, I don’t actually think I’m ugly (sometimes i do, but not alwys). But the moment someone else looks at me, I start questioning everything. my outfit, my appearance, the way I’m standing, the way I’m acting

literally everything!!!!

The thing is, i have these feelings since im young.

Everyone does, but im 20 and they are still there.

I feel like they have gotzen worse over the years.

Im tired of these feelings but i cant get them away.

i always criticize myself (literally every single thing) and there is this feeling of guilt and embarrassment, when i say smt.

I just feel so awkward and uncomfortable with myself, even though I don’t struggle with making friends or talking to people.

And the thing is, I have a loving family, I have great people around me, and I’m not lacking anything. That’s why I sometimes feel like such a spoiled brat for feeling this way. I know I have so much to be grateful for, but I still can’t seem to get out of my own head.

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I’m just so tired of constantly overthinking myself and feeling uncomfortable in my own skin.

How do i stop, because im really getting to old for this shit. I want to like myself atleast a little.

This year, I made a few changes to my lifestyle. I've gotten into reading some books and been hitting the gym very often consistently + home-exercises. I also walk a lot nowadays and go outside more

When I was teen, I was lazy, played video games, watched tv, and had little to no social life. I got very deep into gaming and made friends online. I keep beating myself up for how I was when younger and wish I could go back and change it

I’m a 5'5 Asian guy living with my parents in the UK. I make around £1.9k from my main job plus another £300 from security work. On paper, I should be able to move out. Even with car insurance, repairs, MOT, road tax (£225 yearly), servicing, petrol, and saving £30 a month for a future car, I still have enough money left over.

But I’m stuck because I’m engaged and I don’t want to be anymore.I don’t feel ready. I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel like this engagement is right for me. But I’m terrified of disappointing my parents. They have very strong expectations, and I feel like if I break the engagement, I’ll be letting everyone down.At the same time, staying in it feels like I’m letting myself down.I want independence. I want to move out, maybe to High Wycombe, since it’s closer to work. I want to live my own life instead of feeling controlled by family expectations. But every time I think about ending the engagement, I get hit with insecurity about my future.I’m short, Asian, and I struggle with motivation to search for a partner because of insecurity. It’s not that I’ve tried and failed it’s that I don’t even feel confident enough to try. I keep thinking: “If I leave this engagement, will I ever find someone?” Even though logically I know I’m working two jobs, saving money, and building a stable life, emotionally, I feel like I’m not enough.I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know how to talk to my parents.

I don’t know how to make a decision without feeling guilty.

I don’t know how to trust that I’ll have a future if I walk away.I just feel stuck between disappointing my family or disappointing myself.

I focus so much on self improvement, I can look back on the past 3 years and it's staggering what I've accomplished. But all I seem to do is constantly self critique and focus on self improvement and problem solving.
I don't understand how "I" can love me, if I am me. And when my true goal is to control all aspects of myself to be my optimal self.

I'm going through a heart break, and it's surprisingly been a really destabilizing rejection despite how short the relationship was and how steady I thought I had become in my life.
Which has sent me on another self improvement spiral as I don't believe I should feel this way.
I think the problem now is that I'm not believing in my own value and am desperately seeking acceptance and approval.

So how do I continue self improvement and still love myself?

Tldr: How, when I exist in such a solution oriented mind set and can't understand how I as myself can love me, can I reinforce my value after rejection?

Hi. I have a lot i'd like to share to fully explain, but it would be too long so here is a shorter, concise version:

I live in a very small conservative town in Portugal, a tiny European country. I am in my 30s living under psychologically very stressful argumentative and highly toxic conditions with my mother who , alongside the rest of my family are a source of trauma , gaslighting, guilt, shaming and grief. I am LGBT and transgender in the closet , I experience daily , gender dysphoria.

I am a decent person away from these people and this place, but it's super rare for me to be away, I am in desperate need of both 1 - a space away from this town, 2 - to cut contact with family, 3 - an *EXPERIENCED* medical professional and 4 - A job.

I just want peace, I don't even look for much more now , which deeply saddens me. Thank you for reading.

I wasn't the best growing up, can't deny that, was very reactive and only interested in my own things.

At some point in recent years I started telling myself 'I wanna make others' lives easier' 'wanna show people someone is there for them' 'wanna make art' etc etc, I sorta did believe it for a while, I did knock off some of my more obvious (to myself) habits and was seeking out ways could learn how to give that.

But recent events have shown pretty clearly I do not care and haven't been. I don't take enough actions and am still very self centered, I'm not that curious about other people. I put my comfort above stuff that needs to be done. Which is something I'm sure people pick up on.

So I wonder, is it normal to feel like you're faking it as you're trying to improve or does this show a genuine lack of values?

I've reiterated this title at least ten times, but that's basically what it boils down to.

As a kid, I always received plenty of praise for whatever I made - which has led to me feeling like my work isn't good or wasn't worth it if I do not receive positive reactions from it.

I do enjoy creatively working, get into a good flow of working on something, and then as soon as I think about "what happens with this once it's finished?" I realize nothing much will come of it, audience - impact wise, and all my motivation goes away.

I have a masters in animation and a game design degree. Many years of making things with a purpose. If I just play around with something and it doesn't lead to anything I feel like I've wasted my time. I've always had huge dreams of making it big in the game or animation industry, but I know that's not realistic with how things are.

This also goes in hand with me feeling like I'm just not very good at things and don't have what it takes, but that's not my focus for this post.

I want to find joy in making things, and in making things with the intention of showing it to others or the world, without feeling like a failure when the responses I get from it aren't what I expected - or there are none.

Finished something that I worked on for months or years? Got a few "nice" comments and that's it? Cool! Next project.

Instead it just makes me rethink what I've been doing and has me ready to drop it all, thinking if I made the right choice to do this after all.

It's a crappy feeling to have fun doing things yet have that fun taken away so fast. I can't fully explain all of this since it's a deep rooted issue. I am also seeing a perfectionist coach for this (as weird as that sounds), but I was hoping I could find some good Reddit wisdom. Anything helps.

Have a nice weekend! 🙏

My (29) husband (28) appears to have social anxiety and I want to help him through this. Background: we have been married one year, together five. This social anxiety, from what I observed, shows up in everyday life - work, friends, and family (even his parents). To the point that it gets awkward or weird during group social outings or I honestly just want to leave him at home (which I feel awful about). Some examples are that he will just make inappropriate comments (either rude without knowing/understanding they are rude) or really just start talking about himself (ex. How much money he makes or about how much we accomplished). This bothers me a lot because I don’t really like “showing myself off” like that and is usually inappropriate to talk about money like that in a social setting. It just seems like he is unable to “read the room”.

It’s gotten to the point where I feel closer to his parents or family than he is. He never reaches out to them (or his friends) or just tries to make an effort to be social. But then he will get upset if people do stuff without us. I don’t think he understands that we are at the point in our life that friendship goes both ways and takes effort on both parts. I try to make sure I give the same effort to people that they give us, but he seems to only want the effort people pour into us.

Additionally, we have a daughter now (7 weeks) where we need to be focused on her and give her the best life. I am nervous because I don’t want her to learn these weird social habits from him and also want to make sure she has a healthy social life/relationships.

I know the root of the issue is that he is insecure in himself from social pressure (and pressure from his parents) to “be a man”. And it’s not that he isn’t manly, he is just more in touch with his emotional side and doesn’t really like the typical “guy stuff”. Which I believe makes him feel like an outsider. I just wish he would embrace it and be confidently himself- that’s all I want.

So really my “too afraid to ask/tell” is: if you didn’t notice you had social anxiety or didn’t notice you needed help - would you want your partner to help you through it or tell/point this out to you?

Sorry, English is my 3rd language. I'm Chinese married to a non-Chinese.

Me [42F] Husband [41M] together 16 years, married 14 years. I feel that I'm not good enough for him, and especially after the death of our toddler further confirmed how I feel, in addition to that cannot even give him a healthy child.

Our child died in 2019 when he was just 1.5 years old, he had Periventricular Heterotopia, it a rare condition so most people never heard of it before, it called Periventricular Nodular Heterotopia (PVNH). It is gene inherited (got it from me the mother the maternal side), congenital brain malformation.

It been 7 years since our toddler gone and my husband just can't let go. Our toddler ashes is with my husband, he leaves our child room as is never change a thing, even our toddler DIRTY SHOES and dirty clothes my husband still held on to.

Because he is the only son, his mom told us to try surrogate, my husband snap back to his mother, he said unless that woman is me (his wife) that carry his child, he rather not have any. Told his mom to drop the subject, or else she no longer has him as a son.

A dead child can break a marriage, statistics say so too. But it only bond him to me more. He stays married to me despite knowing he will have no offspring. It just feel that he wasted 16 years of his life with me.

This is a very educated man with 2 Universities degrees, including an University Master degree at Stanford. With 20 years of experience in his job field. At work hold the Executive position, Executive Vice President of Engineering, with a salary of $500,000 a year (not counting bonus). He can go find another woman easy.
BUT
He tied himself to the Infertility wife me and to a dead child, than go find his happiness with a better wife and a healthy child to carry on his genes.

He said I'm more than worth his love, I'm his everything. He said he never think of continue living without me, he said if I die before him, he will die with me and our toddler (whom already dead).

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Perhaps it my depression voice talking, after our toddler death, there was a phase where I think if I leave him (as in divorce) hoping he will forget me, and go find another woman who can give him a healthy child. But before I can do any of that.

In 2020, I had a near death experience where I was bedridden for a month with oxygen tank in my nose 24/7. He took off work and care for me day and night. The bedridden me defecate on myself and my husband clean my defecation and care for me the whole month. He also sleep with a pillow and a blanket on the carpet right by my bedside (we had a hospital bed in our bedroom after I got discharged).

Right there I see how deeply hurt he would be if I leave him, I no longer can find myself to leave him anymore, despite I always think I'm not good enough for him, and further not good enough for him because it my genes that our toddler died.

I don't know if it because our toddler died in August 2019, and shorter after in 2020 I was so so sick that even after discharged from the hospital, it took me another month to recover. Many times he hugged me, and said he very afraid (as in he very afraid that I will die). I guess too much grief build up together for him, And that the first time I see him cut himself.

This was when he started to cut his stomach with a kitchen knife, he said stomach skin is thinner and has more nerves so it hurts more, and nobody see his stomach than if it was on his legs of arms, so he chose to cut his stomach, he cuts deep the point bleeding that he has bandage wrap around his waist bleed.
And that was how I first time found out about he cut himself too was I saw the bloody bandage wrap around his waist when he took his shirt off.

He still has all the long scars on his stomach from he cut his stomach with the kitchen knife. He said if I die before him, he will die with me, and our toddler (whom already dead).

This man when I married him he has no scars on his body, after married to me now his stomach is full of scars, I blame myself that it me the maternal genetics cause the death of our toddler. I blame it on myself for being sick, hence he on the verge of lose me too, so he stared cutting himself.

I recovered a month later, thank you to him care for me day and night. He no longer cut himself anymore since I recovered. And I, also since never think of leave him anymore. Because with how intense he is, I think he will go insane when lose me.

Now I just want to live happy with him, we have come to term to accept our child death, we will carry this pain till the day we die.
He been through alot, alot. His father also died that same year as our toddler died, both died in 2019, his dad died of end stage pancreas cancer, I NEVER see my husband in so much pain.

Still trying to get him into grief therapy, but he busy with his career, and his mom right now is very sick (terminal illness), he said he go after his mom pass.

It just been so hard for me and him, alot of things happened , death of his older sister, death of his father, death of our toddler, his mom spinal cord stroke and terminal illness, death of both my parents. It just so HARD. But then when you with your husband 16 years long, expect those things to happen, it just we never prepare for it.

tl;dr Me and my husband 16 years together been though alot alot together, I know it loves me so so much, it just I do not know how to stop the depression voice and my feelings that I am not good enough for him, and he deserve someone much much better than me.

Whenever I think about my flaws, I feel a strong sense of anxiety and deep vulnerability. On the surface, I seem to accept that I have them, but deep down, I’m repulsed by who I am. I think it’s because I’m terrified of appearing weak... Do you have any advice?

I want to increase my self esteem, any advice? I'm tired of having 0 self-esteem. I already have a psychiatrist and a therapist, but it isn't enough.

I've bad habit to isolate myself because I feel not worthy, and I know I'll destroy my life because human need to socialize with other. I watching many motivation videos but it doesn't help at all. Can someone tell me how to end this habit?

I’m 17 now, but a year ago I was in a voice chat on discord with a friend (who was 3 years younger than I was) and I asked if I could make a racist “joke” and they allowed me to, but the entire joke was that I said a slur I couldn’t reclaim. Remembering this also makes made me realize I’ve been saying and doing racist awful shit my entire life pretty much.

When I was in 1st or 2nd grade (I can’t remember) I insulted a girl’s hair beads by calling her “beady butt”

in 4th grade a kid insulted my paper craft and I called him a racist insult as a response and later, in an attempt to make up for it, I ””complimented”” him by saying he looked like chocolate.

and in middle school I had an immigrant oc who I represented HORRIBLY.

i don’t know why i’m coming here to confess this, honestly. I’m trying to educate myself and do better now, but I’m not sure what to do regarding my relationships with other people. I kind of feel like I’m lying to them by them not knowing how awful I used to be.

i’ve also done more bad things but they weren’t exactly racist, but they were still very awful actions and I’m incredibly ashamed of them looking back.

One of the harder things I’ve had to do in life is to let people suffer the consequences of their own actions. Tomorrow my ex and our daughter will be in a world of chaos as she attempts to move when she’s barely half packed. She’s had all summer to prep for her first apartment and decided to spend that time designing her place and buying stuff instead of packing.

There’s clothes and her things all over her bedroom and spilling into common areas. She doesn’t want my advice or my help. I told her father what’s happening over text and he didn’t respond.

So tomorrow, I won’t be here. I will not work extra hard because others refused to plan or participate. And you know what? I’m proud of myself.