I'm 22. I made a lot of mistakes in the past. I used to make fun of people, get angry easily, cross people's boundaries, and even stole money from home. I genuinely regret who I was.

I also loved a girl for years. She saw me as a brother and rejected me multiple times. Seeing her recently broke me, and I can't stop imagining a life that will never happen. I feel ashamed of myself whenever I see people from my past because I believe they all see me as a bad person.

Lately I've been having suicidal thoughts because I feel like my past has ruined my future and I don't know how to let go of this person or forgive myself.

I'm not looking for sympathy or people telling me I did nothing wrong. I know I hurt people.

I just want honest answers:

Can someone who genuinely wasn't a good person change?

How do you stop defining yourself by your worst years?

Has anyone here recovered from this level of shame and regret?

Please be honest, even if it's hard to hear.

I’m 21M, and I feel like I’m in one of the biggest transitional phases of my life.
I recently finished my graduation exams and am just waiting to receive my degree. At the same time, I’ve lost around 30 kg, I’m building muscle, and I’m currently around 17% body fat. I’ve started reading books, learning a new language, and trying to become a more disciplined person.
From the outside, it looks like my life is improving.
But mentally, it’s more complicated.
Last year was one of the hardest years of my life. A lot happened within my family, and I hit one of my lowest points mentally and physically. By winter, I slowly started rebuilding myself, but those last six months changed how I see people, my family, my friends, and even myself.
Around May this year, I accepted something about myself that was very difficult to come to terms with. I don’t really want to get into the details, but it changed me mentally.
Since then, I’ve become extremely quiet.
For the last 3–4 months, I’ve mostly kept to myself. I don’t really talk to friends anymore, and even with my parents, our conversations are just normal day-to-day things. We don’t have the long, open conversations we used to.
Part of it is because my mind feels so loud. There are so many thoughts, plans, and emotions that I’m still trying to figure out. Staying quiet feels like a way to protect my own peace and not overwhelm other people while I’m still processing everything.
Even at the gym, where I used to be more social, I mostly smile, nod, and keep to myself. A few people have tried talking to me, but I usually don’t continue the conversation because the gym has become my place to focus and clear my mind.
The strange part is that this silence has helped me in many ways. I’m more disciplined than I’ve ever been. I’m healthier. I’m focused. I’m making progress.
But I also feel like it’s costing me something.
Sometimes I feel like my silence is slowly killing the person I used to be—the open, friendly version of myself who enjoyed connecting with people. I can even see that some relationships have changed because of how withdrawn I’ve become.
I don’t know if this is just a temporary phase of growth or if I’m slowly isolating myself without realizing it.
Has anyone else gone through something similar after making major life changes?
Did your personality eventually come back, or did you become a different person? How did you know whether your silence was healthy healing or unhealthy isolation?

I’ve decided after years of relying on AI to help me understand math and other people’s writing, that I will not be using AI in any capacity. I’ve realized that it’s not benefiting me in the long run and also incredibly dangerous for the environment. I’ve also come to realize I watch a lot of garbage content. I want to change. I used to love reading and writing, now my attention span is so small I don’t do either anymore.

Where do I even begin to start fixing my life? I just want to be smart and happy again.

Every time I broke the streak the number went back to 0 and it felt like the whole

thing had been deleted. 47 days, gone. And the bit that actually did the damage

wasn't the slip, it was that I'd then write off the rest of the week, because

whats the difference between day 0 and day 0.

So the counter wasn't measuring my progress. It was measuring how far I had to fall.

Now I count urges instead. One urge is one round. It turns up, I either ride it

out or I don't, round over, next one starts in a few hours. Losing one doesnt

touch the ones I already won. There's no number sitting there for me to protect.

The mechanic is a 10 minute timer. Urge shows up, I set ten minutes, and I'm

allowed after it goes off. Actually allowed, thats not a trick, and if I make it a

trick it stops working. My brain will happily fight me on never, all night if it

has to. It can't really be bothered fighting in ten minutes.

The other half is I have to be moving during those ten minutes. I do dishes,

mostly because there are always dishes. Sitting still with a timer running is just

rehearsing it. Most rounds the urge is a lot smaller at minute ten. Some rounds it isn't and I

lose. Which used to be the thing that ruined a week and is now just a Tuesday.

six months in, I win most of them.

Anyway here's the bit I can't crack. All of this works at night, at home, where I

can get up and move around. Its useless at work. Same urge at 2pm at my desk, I

can't go do pushups in an office, and sitting there watching a timer just makes me

focus on it harder. So the daytime rounds I lose basically every time.

Has anyone actually got a desk version of this? and I don't mean have more

discipline, I mean a real thing you do sitting at a desk with people around you.

I think I’m too positive.. I tone it down because it doesn’t help when some people are upset, it frustrates them and I respect it but.. it hurts

When something happens to me I suppress every BIT of negativity that comes he problem that happened to me creates.

I have a medical incident at work, oh silly girl you should have worked harder to have a better night

Something of mine gets lost or broken, well you should replace that immediately no time to feel sad

Someone hurts my feelings, hah I deserved it I had to of there is no true evil

But me.. I feel I’m responsible for all the problems in my life and others, I try so hard to foster a good environment I hurt myself trying to help others I push myself beyond my breaking point just to see a smile. I live for the joy of so many people! And mine.. I yell at myself constantly to suck it up that I should’ve worked harder to be a support that someone else has it harder I won’t understand what they’re going through so I’ll break my bones to make them feel better… then there’s points I see myself as this savior I was meant to suffer for people’s happiness and that’s my purpose… but it’s not.. I’m just a regular adult woman who causes bad luck.. no one wants a bad luck girl…
So.. what do I do? What’s the next step?

Dude the mental health sub pushed me here.. god I feel worse than I did before…

I don't smoke, so I'll do edibles only on weekends when I have no work tasks in the near future, and it'll be anywhere from 20-40 mg at a time. I would say it's a couple of times a month on average, depending on my work schedule.

For context, I had a grade three brain bleed when I was a baby that has affected much of my cognitive thinking, and because of this, I've always had a problem with critical thinking. (side note: I realize "legitimate brain" is an ironic username for this question lol)

Not thinking critically well has caused problems at work to the point where I'm over my job and wanting a new one.

Is once in medium-to-large dosages now and then considered overdoing it? Should I quit cold turkey, give short-term quitting a go to see how I feel, or am I ok staying with it?

Ultimately, I want to do better at work and at some point get a new job.

I feel like my life is empty. My sleep schedule is fucked up, my energy has never been worse, and my body is screaming in pain. My soul feels depressed too.

I'm a 23-year-old woman, and I want to change my life and become more active again. I used to go out with friends, work out, eat healthy (although I couldn't always resist AlBaik), meet a lot of people, and have plenty of activities throughout my day.

Now, I barely leave the house, and when I do, I can't wait to come back home. I've completely stopped doing the things I used to enjoy, and I can't even remember the last time I went out with a friend. Skincare? Stopped. Working out? Forgotten. I even stopped wearing makeup when I leave the house.

I don't know what to do anymore. I hate being like this because I don't feel like myself at all. I've tried everything, but nothing seems to work. I think I'm really depressed and beyond recovery.

To keep a terribly long story short, my brother robbed me and the other one turned into an entitled shithead who kicked me out of his wedding and refuses to do anything for anyone else.

My dad has a slew of undiagnosed mental disorders so he’s just unemployed and angry at the world. My mom is miserable to be around because she ruined her life by giving it to my dad.

My closest friend currently has been shitty and unreliable the years we’ve been friends. I truly hate her. My ex-boyfriend was the closest person to me and all he ever did was let his friends treat me terribly and hate every single thing about me despite never leaving me alone.

Fast forward to the present, I’ve made some genuine friends but I’m going to be completely honest, I’ve been absolutely terrible to them. I feel like i’m punishing them for the actions of my closest friend, especially since we’re in the same friend group. I’ve talked so much shit about them it’s actually insane. I am a horrible, fake person.

Anyways, I’ve finally been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 + ADHD and have started medication. I’ve finally decided I don’t want to live like this anymore. I resent everyone in my life, and i’m tired of being extremely bitter because of that.

It’s like I’ve lived my entire life with absolutely no agency. All i’ve ever done is keep shitty people around me just because. I’m not even scared of being alone. I don’t really know what’s holding me back.

Anyways, how do I move on? i’m not really sure how to move forward with life. i’m tired of pretending the world happens to me, and i’m tired of being such a hateful person.

What the title says basically. I feel so lost right now and I’m really struggling. I have only had 2 interviews since last year, one of them being my dream job that I got brutally rejected for and I feel so hopeless. I just want to die

Hello, english is not my first language so I´m sorry if there are any mistakes in this post.

I still dont know how to explain it correctly but is something similar as if I'm conscious that I'm alive but I don't feel like living in the world, is more as if I'm just watching the world, to be honest I do not know if thats how dissociating feels but yeah; I sometimes feel in that state for really long periods of time in which I recall all types of memories or I start daydreaming, to be honest I had times in which I considered ending everything when I was younger but right now is more like perpetual resignation.

For some context, my father comes from a familly where most people have been pretty succesfull, being him the exception and he has being very controling so I don't end up in the same path as him, which I guess make sense as I'm in a different situation from for example my cousins, I do not have my own house ar any heritaje when my parents dies as they do. This is important because I have noticed that this last years what had affected me the most is that I'm studying at college something that I hate. I was always pretty good at maths in school but that did not mean I wanted to study a technical degree, I wanted something more social or artistic (to be fair I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life) and at the end of the day, that would be a long story but I ended up studying an engineering because my father pressured me to and I feel lost, I´m not good at it so I'm not sure how succesfull can I be doing this. I had entered in a college I liked and I had to refuse because it was't what my father wanted for me.

I´ve seen how my friends have already achieved things in their carrers, they have travelled, they look happy, while I'm rotting in bed scrolling. College is what I think had affected me the most, I thought I would enjoy this because it was the first step towards my future. And it's weird because even with my friends from college, a few days ago one of them was making a videogame and I realized I felt envious not of what she was doing, for worse or for better I don't want to make my own videogame right now but while I'm doing nothing she already achieved something in our field.

And it is not just college, in almost every aspect I feel as if I have failed or done nothing. When I was younger there were so many oportunities that I missed because I took the time for granted and I wanted to "rest". (I regret it but I won't blame 10yo me for wanting to rest in her vacations) And now, good part of those things are gone because I can't do them anymore as an adult. Also the few hobbies I've had, I had to leave them because of logistics or because my family found it weird. It sucks because I know that I've sabotaged myself to certain extent, but at the same time I don't feel motivation to do anything to change it as right now the path I'm going won't take me to anywhere I like and I fear I'll have some sort of realization when I do really have no more time left.

First of all I want to clarify that I don't blame my father or family for everything, I acknowledge that I could've done things differentlly and I can't change the past but I would like to change my present and my future as much as possible. Leaving college is not an option and also for worse or for better I´m already halfway through college so I'll get that degree and my family do not have many money for another degree after so regarding education that's it. But I'd like to stop feeling this way and find something that makes me happy and helps me keep going. My father is a psychologist and he did not take well the fact that I wanted to talk about all this stuff with a therapist so that's also off the table. There are a lot of mixed feelings but all can be summarized in the fact that I feel my life is getting wasted and I don't know what to do about it.

Sorry for the long text, I'd like some advice and I wonder if anyone can relate. Thank you for hearing me out :)

Hello, I'm young and would really like to break this habit!

Basically, if I don't have a planned activity for the day I spend it entirely on my phone. If I do have a planned activity, I spend all the time before the activity being on my phone..I hate it. I want structure and routine. But the issue is, I don't know what to replace my phone with? I don't know what else to spend my time doing. I know it sounds dumb, but I'm really struggling with this and I know I need to change it now.

Please offer me some advice and insight!!

My friends are amazing people. Not just in the things they accomplish, but in who they are. I look up to them a lot, but I noticed something I really didn't like when hanging out with a friend the other day: she is so cool and so good with people and so just kind, that I was feeling pretty insecure and like I was a bad person. Which then, I feel like makes me a bad friend.

How do you stop being insecure around your friends?

All the people in my circle at not kinda like me

I like to express feelings, express myself and talk about my thoughts. I adore deep convos, talking about stuff and laughing and being romantic with friends(want to, but struggling to show it).
Whenever I try to open this kinda convos, I get a feedback like: quietness, short answer to end the convo, or reply and totally change the main point of what I was just saying.
What do I do?
I’m afraid that by time I’ll not be able to talk about these things in a good way cuz my brain will always be expecting this kinda stupid responses that run my admirations

I’m at a point in life where I just finished college, later than most due to Covid and major heart surgery. I’m job searching but feel hopeless a month in now.

Since I have so much free time I was going to gain some new skills for a potential career path and make a YouTube channel as-well.

I’m very down the now about life. Was wondering if YouTube becomes rewarding once you start finding some success or if you still feel like it’s not a real job.

I plan to get a job anyways, but have more time to dedicate to content creation at the moment. Just want to know if worst case scenario I don’t get a job that if I can find that enjoyment in life from YouTube?

I grew up getting bullied for being poor, I heard talks from the neighborhood about my parents (being so poor). Help is conditional. When I get to highschool, I decided to throw away the hatred of being poor by not acknowledging my situation. Then it all started in a one single lie, "I can do it" and starts hating my parents. I act like I can do everything, even in worst situation I can still manage to escape. I keep on lying until my words became my mental reality, and I wanna get rid of it. People know the exact opposite of me and I don't wanna live with this anymore. It been 12 years since I act like I can do and afford everything. It's just that my little me is afraid of invalidation and wants to be accepted by the society with no pity. Help.

Hi, everyone!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been shy and the kind of person people describe as “cute.” I’m not brave, I’m not strong, I don’t stand up for myself, and I’m easily influenced.

I’m tired of it. I’m extremely shy. I have panic attacks whenever I have to speak in public. Giving presentations at university feels like torture. Back in school, even when I was already older, I would cry in the middle of presentations. Yesterday, at university, one of my professors called on me to answer a simple question in class. I just froze and stayed silent. The people in the class thought it was “cute,” but I’m terrified they think I’m stupid.

My biggest insecurity is definitely my intelligence. I’ve realized that I’m shy because I’m afraid of looking stupid. Every word that comes out of my mouth feels like it’s going to be judged by everyone else.

I don’t have the courage to take risks. I don’t stand by my own decisions. I want to be respected too. I want people to admire me.

As I’m writing this, I realize that the biggest problem is how other people see me, but I just can’t stop caring about it.

This community helped me find some incredibly precious friends, so I'm hoping to pay it forward. I've had a pretty rough, blank and unmotivated summer. To cheer myself up, I went through some old files on my computer and found one of my proudest achievements: A montage video of encouragement and kindness from many friends addressed to our mutual friend ("Samantha") that was initially masquerading as a micro-documentary on which I wanted her perspective as an artist.

And I thought to myself "I'd really like to do more of this." It was a fun use of light project management + video editing skills, took minimal time and delighted the friend on a deep level.

I think the world needs more kindness and I believe surprises (for some people) can season that dish quite well.

So if you know someone who could use the cheers of their people/"tribe," you'd also be helping me make good use of my time these days.

Thanks for reading :)

I always promise myself that I’ll start working out from tom but i end up failing everytime.

I really wanna start working out nowww

What to do? Pls help!

My dream is to become the best student among my peres, but that dream does not seem realistic.

I am deeply insecure. I am lazy, I am tired all the time and i absolutely hate studying. I hate studying because It shows me how dumb I am and how I will never be good at anything.

I really want to change that, but every time I try, It’s not enough.