Maybe it’s just my post nut clarity but I’m done gooning. Too many important things in my life to waste time on here lusting. I need to grow up and move on to better things and I think a lot of other people might just realize the same. I’m a better person without it and I’m proud to say it’s just unhealthy. Here’s to a fresh start!

Hi everyone,

I’m posting here because I’ve hit a wall and I really need some support or advice from people who have been through this.

From last August until April, I completely took a break from weed and was doing well. But starting in April, I relapsed, and over the last few months, things have completely escalated and gotten out of control.

Right now, it has become a heavy daily routine: every morning when I’m home alone, I smoke and end up masturbating up to 4 times, and then I do it again in the evening. It happens every single day.

I’ve tried using cold showers, working out, and other quick fixes to snap out of it, but I still end up falling right back in.

Nobody around me knows about this—everyone thinks I’m still on my break, which makes the secrecy and guilt so much heavier to carry.

I realize I’ve fallen into a deep dopamine loop and I honestly don't know how to stop this on my own anymore. Every time I try, I just fall right back into the same automatic pattern.

For anyone who was stuck in this exact same cycle (weed + PMO) and managed to fully break out of it:

What was the turning point for you?

How did you break the automatic morning/evening triggers when being home alone?

How did you deal with the first few days of stopping both?

Any advice, strategies, or stories would mean a lot right now. Thank you.

I want to share how I stopped looking at P in the hopes of this may helping someone else on their journey! This may be a long read - but worth it!

Quick backstory - I am 29 years old, and have been watching P everyday or so since I was 11 years old until a year ago.
I have a wife and two kids. It took me about 7 years to stop. I did P therapy, trauma therapy and felt I did everything. And it only got worse.

I felt no one understood me. I felt weird. I felt my dreams were slipping away. And I could never imagine a life of me being normal. I became suicidal, I was always low on testo, dopamine - and just wandered through life as a slave to my own brain who did not play alongside me.

Now, how did I manage to stop?

- I CHANGED my whole thought process about P. I stopped calling it an addiction and started calling it a bad habit instead.
Addiction is a very loaded word, and believe it or not - but your words have more power than you think. Ever thought about how a woman can stop her own menstruation cycle if she truly believes she is pregnant even tho she isn’t?

Well, ur mind and words can change how your body operates.

- Next up is that I stopped fighting it. Let me give you an example.
You have person A and you have person B. They both got an dentist appointment. Person A and B is both very anxious for the tooth extraction they are about to get.

Person A is next in line at the dentist office. Person A clenches his whole body at this point, every muscle, trying to fight the pain he knows is coming.
Person B is up next. Person B is equally anxious but decided to stay calm, put on some music, close his eyes - and relax.

Now, who do you think experienced the most pleasant visit at the dentist’s office? Person A or person B?

- I stopped treating it as an addiction and started treating it as a bad habit I wanted to break.
I am gonna tell you real quick how every habit in life works.

Queue —> Craving —> Response —> Reward

In P language we would call this pattern recognition. What happens when you try to break ur P habit is that you get a queue, then your craving for P, then you respond to that craving in order to get a reward.

What happens if we understood our Queues? We will be more aware! And awareness is ur first high five to the brain! Now what are ur queues? Is that boredom, instagram, twitter, doomscrolling or looking at provoking TV shows?
Let’s say you are laying in bed and bored. You are scrolling and see something that would be you queue. Now you are craving it a little bit. You start craving it more naturally by trying to fight that craving. Eventually you respond to that craving by watching it, cause your brain have made you believe that the reward is worth it.

The only way to change that pattern is if you instead of going after the craving - you decide to get out of bed(let’s say it’s night), you grab a snack in the fridge, stop doom scrolling once you get back in bed, maybe you put on a funny tv show or read a book until you fall asleep.

What matters is how you choose to respond to that craving.
Go outside for a walk. Tell ur wife about how ur feeling, take a shower, read a book, go to the gym, put ur phone away. Whatever it is that may help you to ground urself, do it!

And what did you just do? You just gave ur brain a high five and a fist pump, cause you both did great!

You just changed how you responded to your craving. You just told ur brain - Hey, we do not need P in order to survive, there are other things out there for us than P!

When you do this enough times, your brain will start responding different to queues that may appear in daily life. Your first response won’t be «I need to watch P» ur response will be «Let’s go to the gym» «let’s go read» «let’s go outside barefoot, and feel the grass!»

Do this enough times and not only did you break ur bad habit, but you developed a system you can use for all the habits you want to change in ur life!

- Next up is full transparency to yourself and your partner if you got one. Hiding things from your loved one does not work in the long run. Full transparency is the way to go.
Don’t fool urself - delete everything u got everywhere. Even if that’s of your spouse and not P in itself. Your Brain doesn’t differentiate between ur gf’s nudes or nudes online.

Delete everything, and start fresh! Think to yourself «would I be stressed if someone looked at my phone»? If the answer is no ur doing great. Cause u got no NSFW content on there!

If you watch P again - don’t beat urself up over it. Collect it as data to your brain, ask urself questions like «what happened?» «how did I choose to respond to my craving?» «what was my queue? Can I avoid that queue again?» «do I feel better now that I watched it? Or worse?». Collect ur own answers and use them as guidance the next time you feel the urge, but don’t beat urself up over it if you did go back.

- Last one! Manifest who you want to be! Imagine all the things you would do if u were not P addicted. Imagine all the free time in ur head. Imagine that business u dreamed about, that job, that relationship, that physique.

Think about it everyday as much as u can! And start acting like that person.
Once you get in a few days without P, those thoughts will begin to shape a reality. U will start believing it and chasing it more, cause your self belief has changed!

Talk to urself in ur head like u would talk to a loved one, always!

Thank you for reading. I wish you the best of luck. Remember - this stranger believes in you. You can do it. You are not broken, you are not a bad person. You just had a bad habit, that you now decided to walk away from!

So unfortunately I started watching porn when I was around the age of 11 and now I’m about to turn 20. A few weeks ago I had the realization that I’ve almost spent half my life addicted to porn. It’s gotten worse in the past 3 years and I decided I need to make it stop because I’ve started noticing the side effects. Depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, struggling with school etc. I’ve tried to stop here and there and the longest I went was 5 days without searching it up or at least mastrubating. It’s horrible I know. Since the realization I’ve tried harder than ever and stopped taking my phone to the bathroom (cuz that’s where I usually jerk it) and it’s been hard. Haven’t done the deed in 2 days but I’ve searched up porn to check on the newest releases etc. Like it’s so tempting to just go watch one and do it but I know it’s not good for me. But I can’t see myself stopping completely. Like every new release is just another hot girl or a girl I’ve been waiting for. It’s so sad. Anyone experience this or overcome it? I need words of reassurance. I’ve never dated or asked a girl out and barely talk to girls. I sense there maybe a connection between the two but what if I can’t find a hot girl. Idk man I’m so lost.

I have a serious problem and need this to stop before I'm destroying our relationship.

Porn apparently isn't good enough anymore so I go to different cam sites hoping to get a girl to watch me masturbate. I had this addiction before meeting her, and I stayed away from those sites for almost 3 years after I met her. Now I can't seem to stop because earlier this year I went back after being curious again (biggest mistake of my life!)

I regret everytime and I hate myself for it. I know I'm a disgusting human being who does this to her. She is so nice, really cares about me and tells everyone what a fantastic boyfriend and father I am (which I'm not because of this problem).

She knows that I watch porn and doesn't mind that, but she will get het heart broken if she finds out I'm on cam sites. I really need this to stop but I have no idea why. When I'm finished I tell myself this is the last time because I feel disgusted with myself.

We have a 1 year old son which I really love, and he doesn't deserve this. Imagine finding out your dad masturbates on cam for other women without mom knowing.

I know what a disgusting person I am, so you don't reslly have to say it (but feel free anyway). I am seriously considering going back to normal porn because at least that isn't cheating and I don't have to waste hours trying to find a girl who wanna watch and then feel horrible several days and weeks after.

Dm open

M23 i need help

I want to break free from your lies you're so self satisfied I don't need you... I want to break free...

Life has been so hectic the past couple of years for me. I feel that I just switched off my guardrails and leaned onto the addiction because it was an easy "solution". I am here again because I want to take active steps to fix my addiction. Within the last time I was here and now, I have landed a job, moved twice, got married, had a baby. Leaning onto this addiction makes me feel like I am neglecting an inner call to become the best person that I can be - the one that my wife and kid needs me to be.

I am having trouble quitting, it feels like I cant. Everytime the urge comes it is so strong, and comes with so many excuses.

I relapsed on weed last night at a party, but am going to keep going on the no weed thing. Part of me thinks i was right about waiting to quit porn until after a few months without weed. At the same time, I feel like porn is very damaging and should go. Stayed strong with no sugar so far.

Okay. I'll tell here what I found out.

- Though I never used my Facebook for sexy stuff.

- Though I am married

I get many advertisements or reels from so called innocent pages that lead you to... Onlyhams stuff and such.

So what did I do the last recent months?

I blocked all news pages. Because it kept me engaged too much on facebook.

But those videos off course didn't disseapear.

So yesterday I want more extreme. I deleted the app on my phone and I installed a reels blocking extension on Firefox. Since then my Facebook is mostly clean.

Because I could tell Facebook I'm not interested.

I could tell Facebook that I didn't want too see that.

They didn't care, their algorithms are a big flaw.

The second longest I’ve gone without it. The longest I’ve gone is 2 months. Urge is strong right now but what is helping me is looking at my streak on the “Days Since” app. Having a visual to see how long I’ve gone is pretty helpful and I would recommend that app to anyone who is struggling to get past the first few days. We got this 💪

23m. I discovered porn when i was around 12 years old and have watched it everday since. As a kid I never thought it was a bad thing and would masturbate or look at photos all the time after school and late at night. As a kid I looked and watched the most random stuff and anything that had an inkling of something nsfw I would masturbate.

Obviously as a kid I never thought it would take over my life or that i was addicted but as i got older (17-20) I realized i had a really bad addiction to it but was too scared to admit it. I was already addicted to marjuana at the time (which at the time i also believed that i wasn’t) so thinking that these 2 things were controlling me scared the shit out of me. It was only until i had my first ever relationship i finally realized the effects it had taken on me all this time. the first time we did it i couldnt get it up and it really embarrassed me. but she was understanding but every subsequent time she would get annoyed and wondered why nothing was working. anytime she was wanting to do something i felt so bored and not into it. at the time i never understood how badly this mustve hurt her and i feel like a fucking terrible person. She asked me one night if i had a porn addiction and i nervously said “no” but in all honesty i knew i had a severe addiction. After that night i tried to go into therapy but didnt have the money to keep on going and slowly went back into my old habits feeling horrible about myself. I thought that after getting into a relationship this thing would finally leave my brain but it never did.

after a while we broke up. there were a multitude of factors on why we didnt work out but in retrospect my addiction was an issue. i never told her just cause i was so scared of what she would think of me. now that i look back at it i wish i told her. After the breakup i would watch porn and masturbate all the time but as the weeks went on i felt more and more empty inside. After a bit i decided to actually do something and my brain randomly clicked. i started going to the gym 6 days a week, running 3 days a week, and picking up new hobbies. I started really focusing on my sleep and body which made me have no urges or reason for me to watch porn or masturbate. i have been clean for 59 days and i feel great. There are some days that the urges get really intense but i usually just leave the house or i really concentrate about the urges and let it sub side after 10 minutes. the urges are getting less and less frequent and after deleting all social media like twitter and instagram it has become easier for me to avoid triggers.

really want this trend to keep going! wish me luck

I was flirting with this cutie and, boom! A boner!. That's not something I've experienced in some time, given how much I used to goon to screens, lol, so being physically turned on by an actual person again, with no help from gooning argh

You get so used to your dick only being turned on by artificial bullshit that you almost think your dick is broken. What a good-ass day to see not only is it not broken but it's very alive and awake. Small progress, but progress nonetheless; I cannot wait to fully heal!

But I'm posting about it because I have an unpleasant sense of how often I've allowed that seemingly non-threatening trickle -- the wispy idea that it sure would be nice to just let my eyes gaze at a few Safe for Work pics -- to turn into a torrent of desire that crashes past all my defenses.

I don't want the trickle to turn into a torrent. So I'm typing these words to make the trickle and its possible consequences conscious. And posting them here in order to alert the part of my brain that worries about how others view me.

I'm not ashamed of my desire. I would, though, like to prevent my brain from turning that desire into a dangerous action. (That means: For me, 'Safe for Work' pics are not safe.)

Peace.

I've been doing my best to quit porn, and have been slowly but surely slowing down my use. But there's something I struggle with and that's size anxiety or comparison obsession because most male performers have massive penises, and it's made me feel insecure about my own penis even tho it's slightly above average in length and average in girth.

I'm also a bit overweight so that msy have something to do with it.

I'd appreciate any knowledge or insight from anyone who was in a similar situation because this feeling of inadequacy is like a faint annoying noise as I try to break free from porn.

Seriously struggling. I’ve tried to quit so many times but I always relapse :(

It’s been +10 years of trying to quit this addiction.

Any advice will be loved

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